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Jun 24, 2009
American Gokkun 9
 Studio: JM ProductionsDirector: Jim Powers Cast: Amy Starz, Kylee Lovit Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot Come to Laugh, Come to Cry, Come to Care, Come to Terms. It is everything you've dreamed of. It is nothing you expect. Some films you watch, others you feel. "American Gokkun 9." Just when you thought it was safe to jerk off in a snifter. What can you say about a movie about twenty men jerking off and trying to bounce their semen off a woman's face and into a cup, from which she then drinks, that "Terms of Endearment," "Cocoon," and "Ordinary People" haven't already said? As opposed to a gangbang or that other Japanese export, the bukkake, gokkun involves the oral ingestion of the fruits of the objects attractiveness. This movie isn't as horrifying as you might think. Like most of Jim Powers' films involving lots of dudes and one woman (or even lots of women), the behind the scenes footage is vastly superior to the stated intent of the movie, and features just as much nudity and chaos. For example, 19-year-old Amy Starz is so drunk on semen (and God knows what else she ingested), that Powers chooses to follow her as she totters from the spermodome to the production managers' office, where she asks for and is refused her car keys. Lives were saved in Porn Valley that night. The tracking shot is as iconic as any in "Goodfellas" or any Clinton campaign stop. And when a masturbating mope actually topples over onto Kylee Luvit, the one thing we hear Powers shouting off camera is "Save the cup!" I'd say "good times" here but my soul is crying. Watch American Gokkun 9 Now Buy American Gokkun 9 Now Labels: amy starz, bukkake, gokkun, jim powers, kylee luvit ¶ 6/24/2009 0 Comments Links to this post 
Jun 16, 2009
I Love L.A.
 Studio: Adam & EveDirector: Jack Remy, Patti Rhodes Cast: John Holmes, Amber Lynn, Harry Reems, Kimberly Carson, Bunny Bleu, Jessie Adams, Sheri St. Claire, Richard Bolla, Mindy Ray, Shaun Michelle "Sometimes I come up here just to get a load of the view," muses John Holmes on a Hollywood hilltop in "I Love L.A.," a late-period, post-jail effort that casts Holmes as the omniscient observer of the sex lives of several mortals in the Valley below. Holmes died from AIDS-related complications in 1988, one year after this movie was released, and he plays the narrator with all the confidence of his younger years. Still, he doesn't look healthy. And this corruption seems apt for the 80's-style tales in the movie, each smelling like a porn "Love Boat" in their campiness and overlapping storylines. In one, a doctor seduces a secretary (Shaun Michelle) with a "special powder" he sprinkles on a flower. Then the secretary quits, goes home, and shows a prank caller that she can talk dirty right back, using Crystal Breeze as a lab partner. Then we meet lecherous boss ("Deep Throat"'s) Harry Reems, who instructs his secretaries (again with the secretaries), that "how far you go in the company depends on how far you go in my office." I long for those times. The secretary and her cohorts then quit.  With Holmes providing the wraparounds in various locations around L.A., the movie comes together cleverly and gets an A for effort until the very end, when Holmes appears in a scene with the delicious Amber Lynn that was clearly shot years before. In the outro, Holmes says, "Now you may be wondering how all this relates to you" and then chuckles and walks away, leaving the credits to roll on the backdrop of a tree. I don't get it. Holmes' company, Penguin Productions (partially financed by Wonderland-era drug lord Eddie Nash), produced this movie, so the occasional moments of hubris can be credited to Holmes' lack of objectivity. But "I love L.A." is a fun movie, and also a sad one, knowing what we know now. Finally, it is a sign of its times, where bosses still harass their secretaries but the seretaries know they have the option to walk out, their hairy vaginas uncomfortable with the sudden movement."I Love L.A." is part of the 2-disc "John Holmes Collection 2," released by Adam & Eve and also featuring "Saturday Night Beaver" and "Rockey X." See also: John Holmes bio also measured in inches Buy I Love L.A. Now Labels: Amber Lynn, Bunny Bleu, classic, Harry Reems, Jessie Adams, John Holmes, Kimberly Carson, Mindy Ray, Richard Bolla, Shaun Michelle, Sheri St. Claire ¶ 6/16/2009 0 Comments Links to this post
Jun 9, 2009
The Five
 Studio: Adam & EveDirector: Andre Madness Cast: Bree Olson, Alexis Texas, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Shyla Stylez, Johnny Sins, Mr. Pete, James Deen, Scott Nails, Danny Mountain Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot Just so you know, "The Five" is not about some elite crimefighting team, unless the crime is not having an opportunity to watch Bree Olson and four other women fuck other guys. Instead (and depending on the household) "The Five" features five of porn's household names in overlapping scenes shot in a pleasant and sunlit modern country home. Nothing special, unless you like those people a lot. Which I do. For example, Bree opens the movie (and her stems) with a couch-based tease sequence. I hope this is not taken the wrong way, but Olson is a little heavier than the last time I saw her, and the extra weight looks great on her. People can be sensitive about weight, I've heard. When she is done tossing her lingerie at the camera, she and the camera crawl over to Johnny Sins, who happens to have been sitting on the couch all along, just like the Footprints in the famous inspirational poster. He fucks her. What would you do if Bree Olson crawled over to your side of the couch naked? At least I hope you would fuck her. I'd block you from this URL if you didn't do your best to take advantage of all opportunities. "Oh my goodness!" Olson yells, adorably. Then Mr. Pete fucks Sasha Grey in the kitchen. A few words about Sasha Grey and Mr. Pete: I am prepared to say that their onscreen personae (ice princess, hillbilly) do not accurately represent them. For example, Sasha Grey is delightful to talk with and she laughs a lot, and Mr. Pete is the nicest guy you'd want to meet. When they fuck in the kitchen you can imagine they had lunch afterward (after they'd squeegeed the surfaces). Later, James Deen encounters Jenna Haze at the bottom of some concrete-and-stainless-steel stairwell at which someone has thoughtfully placed a couch to fuck her on. I often wonder: What's the big deal about Jenna Haze? But in "The Five" it became clear. She makes excellent eye contact, and that can't be faked. While the rest of the movie doesn't fizzle (a threesome with Shyla Stylez, Olson, and Digital Playground mainstay Scott Nails), I began to wonder about the viability of a title like "The Five." As there was no throughline - other than the house - the "five" only refers to the number of women in it, which is about as useful as renaming a "Reverse Bukkake" "The 17 Who Showed Up." Watch The Five Now Buy The Five Now Labels: "adam and eve", Alexis Texas, andre madness, Bree Olson, Jenna Haze, sasha grey, Shyla Stylez ¶ 6/09/2009 1 Comments Links to this post
May 28, 2009
House of Wicked
 Studio: WickedDirector: Brad Armstrong Cast: jessica drake, Stormy Daniels, Alektra Blue, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Kaylani Lei, Johnny Castle, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade, Marcus London, Danny Mountain, Derrick Pierce, Rocco Reed, Kris Slater, Alan Stafford, Deep Threat, Brad Armstrong Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot In the summer popcorn blockbuster "House of Wicked" (this reviewer found it way more satisfying than "Terminator," "Wolverine," and "Star Trek"), each of the Wicked contract women (I feel they would be offended to be called girls) gets her own vignette and a couple of guys. What's more, each of the vignettes features the performer in what we are led to assume is her own element - therefore no naughty nurses, babysitters, cheerleaders, or - God forbid - pirates. Instead director Brad Armstrong puts Wicked's moneymakers in a much more European setting befitting the company's porn chicks with gravitas image (except for Stormy; the darkest Wiucked performer of them all here plays a cowgirl. Go figure). "House of Wicked" is known in porn parlance as a high-end gonzo, or wall-to-wall. That means the movie is all sex with limited setup and no dialogue. But that doesn't mean we don't get to know the stars' personalities. Kirsten Price, for example, is a saucy student. She takes on a couple of dudes in what appears to be the classroom of her Rhodes fellowship. Then jessica drake has a foursome in a fetish den, Kaylani Lei plays to type (she takes one for the team here) as a tough Asian with a taste for motorcyclists, Alektra Blue plays a skatepunk girl, and then Mikayla Mendez shows up as a club vixen. In each of these scenes there is no angle from which each precious Wicked performer looks less than stunning. In fact, the whole movie seems branded with Wicked iconography. Furthermore, if anyone is made to look a little like a prop in this movie it is the guys, who outnumber their female counterparts by almost two to one, and whose costumes look less believable (Tommy Gunn and Barrett Blade as sk8r dudes with sideways hats, etc., seems a little Chippendales to me). Which makes me think that "House of Wicked" is a fantastic couples' movie. Each of the women is far more mature and glamorous than bubbleheaded and accessible, each appears to have the reins tightly in hand of who gets to take a poke at her, and that it is the girls who have the pick of the eye candy should make female fans reluctantly agree that there is twice as much for them to gawk at than their boyfriends. The final scene features every woman (but Stormy, who was probably campaigning) in a civilized and elegant Sapphic hoedown, proving that, at the end of the day, they just wanted to be together. Watch House of Wicked Now Buy House of Wicked Now Labels: Alektra Blue, brad armstrong, jessica drake, kaylani lei, kirsten price, Marcus London, Mikayla Mendez, stormy daniels, Tommy Gunn ¶ 5/28/2009 0 Comments Links to this post
May 19, 2009
Christy Canyon: The Lost Footage
 Studio: AntiguaDirector: Several Cast: Christy Canyon, Crystal Heart, Sasha Strange, Mandy Wine, Chantel, Tom Byron, Randy West, Joey Silvera, Ron Jeremy Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot Watching this series of 16 never-before-digitized scenes featuring Christy Canyon, it is easy to think of her existing only in the past. The cheesy 80's porno music, the hazy video, the pubes. But Canyon is just 43 today, the same age or younger than several newly-minted milves or porn performers on comeback tours. Still, these scenes from the late 80's and early 90's are time capsules, and we think: They don't make 'em like Christy Canyon anymore. One word that describes Canyon throughout this hastily-edited movie is ripe. Curvy and ready to go, Canyon teams up with Tom Byron, Joey Silvera, a transition-period Ron Jeremy when he was halfway between his 70's debut physique and the VH-1 staple he has become, ala Marlon Brando in "Last Tango in Paris," and a sweaty Randy West who has a strenuous romp with Canyon that makes the viewer happy for both of them. Canyon bounces between a fresh and healthy eagerness and a signature 80's coke-fueled edge in these scenes, but you never have the feeling she's gone or about to go over the edge (now a popular host on Playboy Radio and an author of the first of two volumes of autobiography, Canyon has kicked the skinny powder). The movies from which these scenes were taken are not named, nor are Canyon's costars, but each interlude is worthwhile, and viewers are treated to Porn Valley vistas as they looked two decades ago (in one scene, Canyon thumbs a ride from a motorcyclist. "Take me to the nearesst big city!" she says, but he balks. Had the camera but panned slightly to the left, we would have seen that we were already in Los Angeles and the biker wouldn't have to drive too far for his imminent seatback blowjob). "Christy Canyon: The Lost Footage" has a ragtag feel about it, and maybe the scavenged movies were not deemed good enough to transfer to DVD when the technology became available, but each scene clearly shows why Canyon is a beloved star in the porn firmament, and is a great jumpoff point for further Canyon scholarship.
Buy Christy Canyon: The Lost Footage Now Labels: antigua, Chantel, Christy Canyon, classic, Crystal Heart, Joey Silvera, Mandy Wine, Randy West, Ron Jeremy, Sasha Strange, tom byron ¶ 5/19/2009 0 Comments Links to this post
May 18, 2009
Star Trix: The Forgotten "Star Trek" porn parody
 Studio: MuffiaDirector: uncredited Cast: Jack Lawrence, Jayden Jaymes, Ryder Skye, Taylor Starr Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot Hustler's marketing muscle and the presence of Sasha Grey can propel any movie, such as its "Star Trek" parody, to astounding 3,000-unit sales, but what about the efforts of smaller companies that want to cash in on the more-lucrative-than-doing-nothing porn spoof market? We honor Muffia's "Star Trix" today. Miami Internet studio Muffia offers a host of intriguing previews on this DVD, all featuring juicy, stripper/predator Florida-based talent with a smattering of Porn Valley transplants. But "Star Trix," despite the efforts of Jack Lawrence as an understated but fully committed Shatner impersonator and Ryder Skye as a "Stringon" in one of her final boy/girl scenes (she has since moved on to the ladies exclusively), acts like painting Jayden Jaymes green and switching some names around is enough for a porn movie.  There are exactly three sex scenes in this movie, one with Jaymes, one with the listless Taylor Starr as "Uhora," and Skye's interlude with "Shock" at the end, but despite Lawrence's and Skye's best efforts, the movie seems directionless. Indeed, there is no director credited in the movie.But "Star Trix" is a curiosity as an example of a low-budget, half-hearted attempt to cash in on something that needn't have been, and the best thing about it is the one area on Jaymes that the green paint didn't touch, and where my eyes were drawn as if to a millennial minstrel show. Watch Star Trix Now Labels: florida, Jack Lawrence, Jayden Jaymes, muffia, parody, Ryder Skye, Taylor Starr ¶ 5/18/2009 0 Comments Links to this post
May 15, 2009
Champion
 Studio: Pink & White VideoDirector: Shine Louise Houston Cast: Syd Blakovich, Jiz Lee, Dylan Ryan, Madison Young, Dallas, Javier At the recent Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, Shine Louise Houston's "Champion" won Movie of the Year and its star, Syd Blakovich, took her Best Actor trophy back to San Francisco. Houston, who also created the creepy/sexy eavesdropping series "The Crash Pad," makes excellent ensemble pieces from a versatile but small talent pool, and her work is so consistently compelling (even for a straight audience) and well-shot that you'd think she got a huge budget by mistake. Blakovich plays Jesse, a boxer whose love of the sweet science doesn't leave much room for her partner Cathy (Jiz Lee) here playing a more femme role because, compared to the butch Blakovich, she has no choice. As Jesse crunches endless situps, Cathy is left to please herself (it is a porn movie, after all). But it is a porn movie that addresses the sexuality of one of its characters rather than takes it for granted. As Jesse rises through the ranks of Mixed Martial Arts fighters, her manager, Tiny (Dylan Ryan), asks her to tone down "the gay." "Wear a little lipstick," Tiny says.  But Jesse doesn't. Instead, we cut to her swigging whiskey from a bottle and face-fucking fight groupie Madison Young with a strap-on. She fucks her so hard that you're left thinking that no one will ever wear lipstick again.It turns out that Jesse just needed to get something out of her system before donning a straight uniform. Tiny is incredulous when Jesse shows up in high heels and a skirt. "Just one of the girls," Tiny says.  You know that poor Cathy is long-suffering, but she also takes Jesse back after a humiliating photoshoot in which Jesse must het it up with her opponent, Violet (Dallas) in the Big Fight. Jesse is a complicated person, an adulteress, a cad, but Cathy knows something else: Jesse is like a drug.Further complicating matters is another rival, the fight-fixer Bobby (Javier), who threatens to spill the beans on Jesse's alternative sexuality to the intolerant sporting press (in the world of the film, being a lesbian MMA fighter is a career-ender, though my belief that every woman in the MMA is a lesbian does not impair my enjoyment of it).  The ending is the lesbian equivalent of Rocky fucking Clubber Lang, with poor Cathy playing Talia Shire."Champion" is an excellent movie and proof that you don't need a huge budget to make a good porn movie, and that you don't have to have a lot of dialogue to tell a story. I'd love to see what Houston could do with a straight adult movie.
Watch Champion Now Buy Champion Now Labels: dylan ryan, Jiz Lee, lesbian, madison young, shine louise houston, syd blakovich ¶ 5/15/2009 0 Comments Links to this post
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