Gram Ponante's Thoughtful Porn Reviews

Gram Ponante.com: the official site of America's beloved porn journalist

Escape from Women's Prison

O2: The Surrender of O

Strollin' in the Colon

Surrender the Booty 3: The Search for More Arse

Les Vampyres

Asia Noir 6

The Taunting

Ejacula: La Vampira

Vampirass

Night of the Giving Head

--Apr 8, 2008--

Smoking Interviews 3

Studio: Julie Simone Productions
Director: Julie Simone
Cast: Smokin' Mary Jane, Nadia Nyce, Gia Paloma, Julie Simone

The following could very well be a generalization but it's my goddamn website: as long as your fetish porn caters to the single object of a fetishist's fantasy, everything else can go to Hell. Thus so much fetish porn gets away with looking, sounding, and smelling awful, because a true fetishist's attention can be diverted from bad production value.

That is why Julie Simone's Smoking Interviews 3 is so much fun. While I am more likely than not to think women who smoke give good blowjobs, the idea of watching (admittedly) tasty women smoking for 80 minutes didn't appeal to me.

But I was fascinated from the beginning.

Smokin' Mary Jane is the smoking fetishist's darling. A marijuana legalization activist (in that strangely passive and chill way pot activists have), Smokin' Mary Jane is also a pinup siren. She affects a Coquette from Another Planet voice in her videos, and as she slowly disrobes and makes smoke rings, she tells us that she likes the way smoke disappears behind women's sexy painted lips.

Smokin' Mary Jane doesn't exist in reality - at least not that character, thank God - but paired with the props, the whole ambience she creates is great fun and an excellent way to start a movie that just gets weirder.

Next up is Gia Paloma, who dons nurses' garb to fuck an invalid (or maybe a mummy), a la The World According to Garp, and then fucks a bunny. If she weren't currently in a family way, I think the natural progression would be to fuck Abraham Lincoln. Naturally, all of these activities are conducted with a cigarette dangling from her lips.

If Mary Jane and Paloma satisfied a weird factor, then Nadia Nyce fulfills the quota for slutty, smoking bad girl. This is the stereotype I'm most familiar with, though I admit I have never seen anyone double penetrated while she has a cigarette in her mouth. For most Americans, the cigarette goes away before the sex happens, and reappears later. Maybe it's different in France.

"I first smoked when I was nine," Nyce says in her interview. "It made me look older. And cool."

Since this is the only smoking porn video I have ever seen, its effectiveness determines whether I will ever watch another one. Smoking Interviews 3 was so much fun that I recommend every household have a copy (though you should keep it away from your nine-year-olds).

Labels: fetish, gia paloma, julie simone, Nadia Nyce, Smokin' Mary Jane, smoking

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--Aug 29, 2007--

Audition

Studio: Julie Simone Productions
Director: Julie Simone
Cast: Gia Paloma, Julie Simone, Master Liam, Krissy, Lystra

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

Gia Paloma is an aspiring actress of the sweater kitten variety, content with reading script sides at home until she is summoned to an audition in L.A.'s mysterious warehouse district. She tints her hair and dresses in such a way that her cleavage appears to be the knees of a fetally-posed Renoir model. The X-Files mood music and ticking clock in the soundtrack bode ill for our heroine, who is shoved to the ground after appearing in front of her auditor. So much for the Hollywood dream.

In another part of the warehouse, naked cage candy Lystra is asked by Julie Simone and Master Liam if she is hungry. She nods. Frankly, I thought something else would happen than Simone whipping out her strap-on. You know, like one of those tasty Trader Joe's chicken pot pies. But that shows how out of the loop I am with the way I keep my caged naked Asians.

"You're not worthy of sucking Liam's cock yet;" Lystra is told, "you have to suck on my plastic one first."

(Even the plastic cock appears to have an angry bite mark on the top of it; this is a bit of dildonic verisimilitude I can do without.)

We pan out to reveal the similarly caged and naked Krissy, whom Liam flogs about the feet and buttocks. Flogging Krissy is not the first thing I would do in similar circumstances, but hey, this is Hollywood. Simone gives the strap-on treatment to Krissy as well, considering the latter is not deserving of Liam's cock, either.

Why they are undeserving I'm not sure. It may have something to do with the expense involved in dressing Liam like "Violator"-era Depeche Mode.

Nothing revealed thus far is too different from the way most reality shows are cast, but I was still intrigued to see what would happen with Paloma.

When we see Paloma again, she is bound and gagged. She is toyed with by the casting directors and, in a nice twist, the script she was reading earlier makes a comeback. We're not sure if she gets the part, but Liam finally gets to do something other than flog people.

I first saw this movie at a bar with the jukebox drowning out the sound. When I received a screener copy, the note attached read "Watch this accompanied by Cheap Trick" (Simone goes against type by being a dominatrix with a sense of humor).

But I should have taken that advice. Audition's sound is pretty poor, and a viewer would be much better served by putting on mood music of his or her choice (aside from "The Flame").

The sound quality also takes away from the effectiveness of the movie - the movie didn't turn out any differently than I'd expected when I saw it with the dialogue restored. Simone and company cast extremely well from several different body types; you can see why these actresses were considered for the role.

I hope Gia gets the part, though. She seemed to want it more.

Labels: bdsm, fetish, gia paloma, julie simone

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