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    --Feb 28, 2008--

    Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape

    Studio: Red Light District
    Director: Joey Buttafuoco and Evanka Buttafuoco
    Cast: Joey Buttafuoco and Evanka Buttafuoco

    Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

    A room, a bed, the sounds of sirens and a barking dog. Maybe "Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape" was staged, but at least it draws you in to the point that you want to kill the goddamn dog, too.

    The marketing for this movie, following by three months the release of "Amy Fisher Caught on Tape," goes something like "What happens when Joey Buttafuoco and his wife steal away from a party at a friend's house to catch a raw and steamy hour alone?"

    This setup is a distraction, and indeed the first few minutes of the movie are littered with references to not opening the door, "Isn't this better than a barbecue?", and other needless establishing dialogue that convinces viewers that no one was "caught" doing anything, that instead this was a calculated move.

    "I didn't know the room had cameras in it," Evanka Buttafuoco told me. "I just chose a room."

    "So I'm innocent," Joey Buttafuoco said.

    The story is that the pair were attending a party at the home of porn producer Rob Spallone. Spallone was shooting a movie at his party downstairs, and the Buttafuocos slipped away.

    So what about releases?

    "We signed releases just to be there," Evanka said. "Then they used them as consent when Rob discovered the footage."

    Let's just say unlikelier things have happened.

    But this should not capsize your interest in what becomes, like its predecessor, a document of older married people behaving like porn stars for the camera, not nailing the letter, but more than compensating in the spirit.

    To fill out the hour, the toned and amicable Evanka puts in a lot of time in bra, panties, high heels, and jewelry blowing her husband. This outfit eventually comes off (as does her husband), but it is she who is running the show for most of the movie, providing quotable qupis like, "Joseph, I'm a biter."

    Joey, in fact, looks like the least practiced of the two, at least in terms of standard porn techniques. At one early point, it looks as if Joey has come in her mouth - he heaves, he groans, his head tuns to the side. Did he just fake an orgasm? Maybe he had a stroke? In any case, Evanka keeps going.


    The first image in the movie, taken from the foot of the bed, is of Joey's face obscured by a book. He seems reluctant. Evanka walks in and immediately takes charge. Mr. Buttafuoco seems grateful.

    And grateful is a word that can be applied to both Buttafuoco and Lou Bellera. Both are in their 50s and paired with women who look significantly younger (although the Bellera/Fisher age difference is greater).

    But though the Amy Fisher tape is technically superior (actually, a 7-11 security camera would be technically superior) to the Joey and Evanka tape, the latter has more instances of the words "I love you." When do you hear that in a porn movie? Not enough outside of a porn movie, either.

    As staged as it was, the "I love you"s were real, and "Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape" was better than a barbecue (not to mention the Gene Simmons sex tape).

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    --Nov 15, 2007--

    Amy Fisher: Caught on Tape

    Studio: Red Light District
    Director: Lou Bellera
    Cast: Amy Fisher, Loe Bellera, The Spirit of Long Island

    Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

    What we want Amy Fisher: Caught on Tape to be is a tender document of Married Love. Alas, Fisher and husband Lou Bellera separated soon after this video was made, so the story goes, and now Fisher is reportedly canoodling anew with Joey Buttafuoco, so this video is more like Let It Be, a posthumous snapshot of a once-great relationship.

    Amy Fisher: Caught on Tape is the greatest celebrity sex tape ever made. It's like an Adam & Eve MILF movie because Fisher is actually a mom and her partner in several scenes, Bellera, is a gray-haired dude in his late fifties, which is central casting fodder for guys in instructional videos. A less sensational title would be "How to Use Viagra And Porn Language to Stimulate Your Ex-Con Trophy Wife".


    Fisher is, without a doubt, a porn star. I am still sorting whether she is suing distributor Red Light District for copyright infringement in releasing the video (I bet everything is perfectly legal and that spectral lawsuits make the movie sell faster), but she knew the camera was on, posed, and performed several mainstream porn-worthy scenes regardless of whether she knew how the tape would be distributed.

    Because she knew the tape would be distributed.


    Who Is Amy Fisher?

    Amy Fisher was a 16-year-old high school student when she met married mechanic Joey Buttafuoco in 1991. They began a sexual affair soon after she brought her car to Buttafuoco's Long Island garage and, more than a year later, Fisher shot his wife, Mary Jo, in the face as retaliation for Joey not leaving her for Fisher. Fisher served seven years in prison for this, Mary Jo was disfigured but recovered, and Joey did four months for statutory rape. Later, he and Mary Jo divorced.

    Bellera is sometimes credited as a TV producer but I cannot find his name on various TV databases. Regardless, he clearly did his porn homework. Fisher does several porn-standard scenes, including solo, B/G, and light fetish. Whether or not she was a prostitute, she performs like a champ.

    Bellera is not the best cameraman or dialogue partner, preferring stationary shots, but he can't be blamed because it's just the two of them and a tripod. But Fisher is clearly the better porn raconteur:

    BELLERA: Yeah, baby. Wow! You are so hot. Unbelievable.

    Better to just say nothing, Lou. But Fisher has the patter down:

    FISHER: I want you to come fuck me. I want your hot come all over my tits.

    Sold me. The only way this movie could have been better is if a bonus scene featured Boston's Tyler Faith and Fisher in a porn version of the Red Sox/Mets 1986 World Series.


    The next few weeks will reveal whatever sordid or useless stories there are of how the tape came to light, but as a porn movie, Amy Fisher, Caught on Tape is leagues better than the efforts of Screech, Paris, Colin Ferrell, Your mom, Pam Anderson I & II, and Kim Kardashian. What the hell, it's even better than Debbie Loves Dallas. I feel like things are finally becoming right again.

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