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 Studio: Hustler
Director: Stuart Canterbury
Cast: Mike Horner, Cassandra Cruz, Kay;a Paige, Angela Stone, Emma Heart, Veronica Jett, Kissy Kapri, Van Damage, Marcus London, Dino Braco, Kissy Kapri
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Should this movie be reviewed on its own merits, as a story of a public official who can't keep his pants on, or should we think of it as a porn adaptation of real, though tawdry, events?
Well, the tawdrier the real thing, a pornic take on it almost seems to make the original look less harmful, as if a porn adaptation confirms how silly it is already. The same happened with Hustler's Da Vinci Load; it really improved on the book.
Mike Horner is particularly hammy in the role of New York Governor Eliot Splitz-her, and it is right and just that the adult industry still has some older performers around to add the right touch of Leslie Nielsen to parts like this one.
Students of history will be happy that Gov Lov pays attention to detail. The Governor is known as a man who cleans up the streets and, when he makes his assignations over the phone, is quoted a $4,000 fee.
But a porn movie unbound from its conventions, even if it is a topical movie like this one, won't fly. So Gov Lov needs to find other people to look at than just Horner and Cassandra Cruz as his special lady, thus trumped up scenes with different, vaguely-related pairings (Angela Stone as The Squirting Lobbyist, for example).
Unlike many hot-off-the-presses porn, however, this movie also has a bona fide B story. We meet two FBI surveillance agents, played by Van Damage and Veronica Jett, who get so caught up in the governor's shenanigans that they just can't help themselves.
 The Governor is well-known to the escort agency, and he is set up with Kristen (Cruz) and they get to know each other (after the required funds are deposited in the agency's bank account).
After their tryst, they have the following conversation.
"Now this is going to be our little secret?" he says.
"Of course," she replies. "No one will ever find out."
 As a movie specifically designed to be purchased by casual consumers, Gov Lov has all the porn world has to offer: speedy turnaround, a little humor, not too much talking, and some sense that these things could really happen. And Hustler put a little extra effort into the packaging, which is nice, since we're talking about people's lives here.
 Labels: Angela Stone, Cassandra Cruz, Dino Braco, Emma Heart, hustler, Kay;a Paige, Kissy Kapri, Marcus London, Mike Horner, Van Damage, veronica jett
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 Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ernest Greene
Cast: Nina Hartley, Violet Blue, Tiffany Mynx, Dick Danger
Like she does in her other educational videos, Hartley makes sure to dress up so that the talking head portion is doubly compelling, paving the way for lab sessions.
Violet Blue (the porn star, not the porn writer), eight months pregnant at the time, said that massages and cunnilingus were always welcome, but that rubbing swollen ankles might induce labor and that, in general, it is not wise to "just pound away on your woman.
"Loving one another is the most important thing you can do," she adds, "and the sex will come naturally."
But just because they're dolled up in maternity leather, Hartley's guests don't skimp on passing out the facts.
 Hartley calls up Tiffany Mynx for an in-depth discussion and demonstration of below the belt relaxation methods. Though a strap-on is not a substitute for an epidural, it can certainly release tension.
Then Blue returns to show that, just because sex is stationary, it needn't be bad.
Labels: educational, instruction, nina hartley, pregnancy, violet blue
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 Studio: JM Productions
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Adriana Deville, Kaiya Lynn, Holly West, Alanna Ackerman, Otto Bauer, Seth Dickens, Dick Nasty
So there you are with a pair of five-year-old twins at home. You are thinking about the dinner you'll cook them, and how picky they've been lately. You are bent over a couch and a crew is filming your anus being pried open and spat into. Later you will have a load blown across your face.
 While this might be the case for any number of porn actresses on any number of sets, the beauty and horror of a JM Productions movie, especially Mother of the Year, is that a fine point will be made of the relationship of your motherhood and your porn career.
75 percent of the women in this collection are married swingers with five-year-old children (only Kaiya Lynn is unmarried with an eight-year-old at home), and each is unflappable in the face of director Jim Powers' probing questions.
 "How will you tell your son that his mom's a whore?" Powers asks Adriana Deville.
"I wouldn't put it quite that way," she replies.
Most porn is interchangeable. It is the context we place it in that makes one porn movie more compelling to us than another. We tell ourselves stories about Asians, or Teens, or MILFs, and the movies we consume with those elements might follow all the same rules, but our own perception changes. How Powers and crew change this dynamic is a quick interview segment before each scene.
 Feisty Latina Kelly West, 28, predicts how her day will unfold after the scene is shot.
"I have to clean the house, do the laundry, and then I have to hook up my husband."
"You'll barely have time to wipe the come off your face," Powers says.
"I'll do it running," she replies.
Then she meets Otto Bauer, who's hard on moms.
Each scene blacks out to the sound of children crying. Nice touch.
 Alanna Ackerman says that she loves her husband becauise he's a "sick bastard" who likes to watch her fuck other men.
"What if your husband didn't like you fucking other men," Powers asks. "Would you still do it?"
"I haven't been put in that situation," she says.
 He asks her if she would breastfeed in public with "those titties."
"Yes."
"Did you like people staring at you?"
"Maybe."
For some reason, Kaiya Lynn's scene isn't as compelling. The other women seem comfortable talking about their children and their porn careers (probably because of the swinging?) but Lynn is a little reserved.
Finally comes Adriana Deville who, if a prize had been awarded at the end of the movie, would have received it.
"I'm up every day at 5:30 cooking breakfast for my son and husband," she said.
When asked how other moms treated her, she replied, "They hate me. They're afriad to bring their husbands around me. They think I'm a skank. Well fuck them, too."
I want her in my corner.
 Deville should also have won because she used "Mommy" as an adjective.
"Fuck that Mommy pussy," she said.
Labels: Adriana Deville, Alanna Ackerman, Dick Nasty, Holly West, jim powers, Kaiya Lynn, otto bauer, Seth Dickens
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 Studio: Madison Young
Director: Madison Young
Cast: Madison Young, Daniel, Selina Raven, James Mogul, Raina Degre, Luke Degre
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Red-haired Madison Young tells white lies in purple rooms. Why? Because she loves too much; she is too eager to please. Always going the extra mile in her stripper duties, Young fibs to favorite customer (Daniel) when he asks her to go to an SM party with him after her shift.
"I'm also a professional dominatrix," she lies.
This is the cloud that hangs over "Undone"; will Young's fib be found out?
At the SM club a group of bored enthusiasts lament the lack of quality slaves when Young and Daniel walk in. Daniel disappears. The others fall on her immediately, pawing at the young Young like a pack of dogs. SM dogs.
 Whether she is discovered or not, Young is pegged for a newbie submissive right off. She is pressed into service as a bootlicker and all-around "expulsions of desire". Because of her lies.
She is made to alternate between the fake cock of Selina Raven and James Mogul's real one. She is used, abused, and discarded.
Undone is another great short from Young. I only have one problem:
 The power exchange of SM movies adds an element of drama not found in standard porn films. For this reason "Undone" could have gone without Young's voiceover, which overexplained what was a fairly obvious (if no less tasty) plot. "This turned me on with great pleasure," we learn.
 Like Young's other recent short movie, Writers and Rockstars, Undone takes advantage of the taut playground that is Madison Young, and that is enough; we can see the ironic freedom one achieves through bondage, and we can see her "secret smile" - we don't need to hear about it.
Labels: bdsm, daniel, fetish, James Mogul, Luke Degre, madison young, Raina Degre, redheads, Selina Raven
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 Studio: VCX
Director: Satan
Cast: Desiree Cousteau, Dorothy Lemay, Serena, John Holmes, Joey Silvera, John Leslie, Jean Jennings, Tami Lee Curtis, Mary Ann Evans, Heather Ellis, Jamie Gillis
Like everyone working in the adult industry (and their mothers), I'm really into Satan. You have a Satan t-shirt, trading cards, bobblehead doll, some Satan rims, branded cereal, whatever, I'm all for it. Me and Satan, we go way back.
That is why I had to watch VCX' Sex Slaves of Satan. You figure, Satan has a choice in sex slave, so whomever he chooses must be pretty good.
The movie starts with a comfortable old groovy film strip/American International Pictures-style flute solo, letting us know we are either in for an exploitation movie or a driver's ed film.
Kathy defies her female handler and very soon she is put in stocks and ordered whipped by an evil doctor. With the speed at which she goes from patient to victim, I assume either a chunk of the opening was cut or this movie was always ripe for a William Goldman revision.
Similar is the transition from Kathy's post-whipping lesbo scene with her handler to a three-way with two dudes. Where did they come from? Who knows.
 I've only been watching porn since I got a job reviewing it, but I am reluctant to poke fun at porn bodies of the 70s and 80s with the standard hair quantity comments, but the sight of Kathy's furry blonde bush being eaten out at this point is distracting. Compared to today's super-smooth snatches, the hirsute parts of yesteryear seem like they present problems on the scale of de-boning a fish.
And the dicks don't seem as hard. We know now that that is because today's performers by and large take erection-strengthening agents, but it could be because the male talent didn't really believe in the script.
 Then the movie shifted to a bondage scene with the delicious Desiree Cousteau, though I couldn't figure out how it fit with the story.
It was then I realized that Sex Slaves of Satan was a compilation movie with nothing at all to do with Satan.
"These are the most extreme scenes in the history of XXX," claims the boxcover.
 Yes, there are some rape and bondage scenes, but no Prince of Darkness.
Three scenes into the movie, the discovery that this was a compilation and not a feature film with a cast of dozens was an adjustment, but then things began to make a little more sense.
 Then I began to realize that the good old days porn veterans talk about might have been fun off camera, but aside from history buffs and people eager to get another look at their first porn crushes (both of which groups are a significant part of the porn consumer base), this movie doesn't hold a candle to a current, vaguely-scripted gonzo release.
While the drugs many of the performers were on in this movie affected them differently than the drugs many of today's performers are on, there is nothing outstandingly golden about this selection of Golden Age clips; the music is murky, the lighting is dark and, save for some abusive language and the simulation of forced sex that wouldn't fit in today's porn milieu (although today's porn sex can be degrading in different ways), there are few remarkable elements.
 What is noteworthy is Cousteau, John Holmes in a few scenes, and the lack of surgical enhancements.
I'd argue that today's porn is better, but only better compared to this. Then as now, porn is just a flimsy canvas for viewers to project their own fantasies on, and nostalgia is a big part of that, which is why Sex Slaves of Satan, though notably devoid of Satan in the way today's MILFs are devoid of children, is a worthwhile movie to watch.
Labels: classic, Desiree Cousteau, Dorothy Lemay, Heather Ellis, Jamie Gillis, Jean Jennings, Joey Silvera, John Holmes, John Leslie, Mary Ann Evans, minireview, Serena, Tami Lee Curtis
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 Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Katsumi (prior to legal name change), Scott Nails as You
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
"Ze first time I had sex I was 19 and I honestly thought I wasn't meant for sex," says Katsumi in the "Stories" section of her new interactive DVD. But for her 21st birthday she had a gangbang. What a difference two years makes. I should know - my 2006 Honda is really depreciating.
You might be confused about who the virtual you will be fucking in this movie: isn't she supposed to be Katsuni? Well, this movie was made during Katsumi's losing court battle but before she was forced to change one letter of her name to appease a distraught French woman who claimed she was being misidentified as a hot porn star.
It is a customer not scared of adjustments who purchases an interactive movie; there is a lot of direct address ("See? My titties are already hard," Katsumi says to you) and, the way Digital Playground does it, there is a lot of zooming back and forth against whatever greenscreen background Katsumi appears against.
But the "Virtual Sex" DVDs are unlike other movies in that the environment is rigidly controlled. The sound is clear and present and there are no distractions to take the viewer away from the star.
"So what do you prefer?" she asks. "My boobs? My pussy? My ass? Or my mouse?"
International symbols for those parts show up at the periphery of the screen when it is time for the DVD to become really interactive. Digital Playground's go-to stunt cock, Scott Nails, steps in as your proxy in Katsumi-servicing.
I'll take a break here and say that Katsumi looks really good, even if Scott Nails never consulted you about how you, personally, would service Katsumi. Only then would this DVD be truly interactive.
But lest you think that Katsumi doesn't care about you and only has eyes for Nails, she drops a bit of Gallic science on you before Nails delivers your vicarious load.
"I love being on ze top so I can make love with you - the way I want."
Labels: "digital playground", interactive, Katsumi, Katsuni, scott nails
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 Studio: Wicked
Director: Randy Spears
Cast: Demi Delia, Daisy Marie, Cassandra Cruz, Maya Gates
The first thing one thinks when confronted with Wicked's new Latina Hollywood Hookers is, "Well Duh. You think there's Latina hookers in Glendale? It would be a step up to have Latina hookers in Glendale."
On that subject: Irvine Robbins R.I.P., whose first ice cream store was in Glendale. Mourn ya 'til I join ya (pours Friendly's Fribble on grave).
After the triumph of Cinco de Mayo we are faced with harsh realities: some Latinas turn to prostitution. Luckily the "hookers" of the title are not streetwalkers but classy call girls with phone numbers, credit at a florist, and their own couches.
Demi Delia is the head of this escort agency but, striving to stay close to her roots, also sees select clients. One is Ben English.
 In the first scene, English and Delia offer a valuable service to consumers, providing an example of the small talk and protocol characteristic of a session with an escort: he places the money on the table, she pretends to have missed him since the last time, and then they get down to it.
The only inaccuracy was that they kissed each other. That Wicked requires condoms made for more authenticity. If a hooker does not require a condom, you should run (unless you are only there to strangle her, in which case you should reconsider and go to Baskin Robbins).
 The second scene is even more authentic in its awkwardness. Tommy Gunn forgets to pay Sienna West until she prompts him with something legally innocuous, just in case he is a cop:
"Do you want to take care of business?"
Sienna West utters not one "Ay, Papi" throughout the scene, but she does imply she is a Latina by asking, "So do you like to fuck Latinas?"
 Daisy is a massage therapist in the next scene, and Randy Spears tells her that her "money is over there."
 Nick Manning plays a serial whoremonger in his scene with Cassandra Cruz. She asks if he has seen women from the agency before.
"All of them," he says. "And none of them can keep up with me."
 Finally, Alex Sanders and Dick Delaware sign on for Maya Gates. "You know it will cost you a little more?" asks Delia in the phone interview.
I found this scene the most verdad of all of them. The conversation was stilted and Cruz knew very little English. In fact, it was less like a porn scene and more like a hard-hitting HBO documentary, with poignant human drama everywhere you looked.
 One bit of dialogue I would have liked to see was:
"You sure you're not a cop?"
"You sure you're not Armenian?"
Wicked has done a great public service in releasing this prostitute primer. Still, I can't help thinking that if these women had been white, they would have been called "escorts."
Labels: Cassandra Cruz, Daisy Marie, Demi Delia, Maya Gates, minireview, Randy Spears, wicked
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Studio: Hustler
