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Writers And Rockstars
 Studio: Madison Bound
Director: Madison Young
Cast: Madison Young, Daniel
"Musicians have sex like they play music," Madison Young said. "Some are slow and plodding, some are kind of emo, some are hard and fast, and some should just stay in their bedrooms and play by themselves.
"I've been with a lot of musicians," she said.
Reading from her poem "Writers And Rockstars," Young hooks up with one of the latter for a backstage quickie with a little gagging, a little flogging, some candle wax, and a lot of the impressionable skin of Madison Young.
I've been to poetry slams and Madison Young is unlike any standup poetess I've ever met.
Written and directed by Young and spanning the length of three songs by the band Casual Lust, Writers And Rockstars is impeccably shot, though it skimps just a little on the sort of lingering shots one might expect from a standard porn movie. But it compensates by presenting Young as a woman who really loves what is happening to her.
Her partner is Daniel, and we get the idea that the two have stolen away between band sets. He manhandles the petite Young and she loves it. He sticks his fist in her mouth, he smacks her pussy, whips her with a belt, and finally drips wax on her. He comes on her back, then needs to get back to his gig.
She lets him go with her blessing, utterly pleased to have been used so roughly. This is a couples' movie I can really stand behind.
 But Writers And Rockstars spoils a couple of things: anyone who sees it will think that his neighborhood salacious poetess likes sex. And this joyful, fast-moving scene makes a lot of porn look like just porn.
The Young/Daniel scene was shot in 2007 ("I guess he'd be the emo one," Young said). Other scenes featuring the types of musicians Young has known will appear this spring.
 Labels: bdsm, daniel, fetish, madison young, san francisco
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Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape
 Studio: Red Light District
Director: Joey Buttafuoco and Evanka Buttafuoco
Cast: Joey Buttafuoco and Evanka Buttafuoco
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
A room, a bed, the sounds of sirens and a barking dog. Maybe "Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape" was staged, but at least it draws you in to the point that you want to kill the goddamn dog, too.
The marketing for this movie, following by three months the release of "Amy Fisher Caught on Tape," goes something like "What happens when Joey Buttafuoco and his wife steal away from a party at a friend's house to catch a raw and steamy hour alone?"
This setup is a distraction, and indeed the first few minutes of the movie are littered with references to not opening the door, "Isn't this better than a barbecue?", and other needless establishing dialogue that convinces viewers that no one was "caught" doing anything, that instead this was a calculated move.
"I didn't know the room had cameras in it," Evanka Buttafuoco told me. "I just chose a room."
"So I'm innocent," Joey Buttafuoco said.
The story is that the pair were attending a party at the home of porn producer Rob Spallone. Spallone was shooting a movie at his party downstairs, and the Buttafuocos slipped away.
So what about releases?
"We signed releases just to be there," Evanka said. "Then they used them as consent when Rob discovered the footage."
Let's just say unlikelier things have happened.
But this should not capsize your interest in what becomes, like its predecessor, a document of older married people behaving like porn stars for the camera, not nailing the letter, but more than compensating in the spirit.
 To fill out the hour, the toned and amicable Evanka puts in a lot of time in bra, panties, high heels, and jewelry blowing her husband. This outfit eventually comes off (as does her husband), but it is she who is running the show for most of the movie, providing quotable qupis like, "Joseph, I'm a biter."
Joey, in fact, looks like the least practiced of the two, at least in terms of standard porn techniques. At one early point, it looks as if Joey has come in her mouth - he heaves, he groans, his head tuns to the side. Did he just fake an orgasm? Maybe he had a stroke? In any case, Evanka keeps going.
The first image in the movie, taken from the foot of the bed, is of Joey's face obscured by a book. He seems reluctant. Evanka walks in and immediately takes charge. Mr. Buttafuoco seems grateful.
And grateful is a word that can be applied to both Buttafuoco and Lou Bellera. Both are in their 50s and paired with women who look significantly younger (although the Bellera/Fisher age difference is greater).
 But though the Amy Fisher tape is technically superior (actually, a 7-11 security camera would be technically superior) to the Joey and Evanka tape, the latter has more instances of the words "I love you." When do you hear that in a porn movie? Not enough outside of a porn movie, either.
As staged as it was, the "I love you"s were real, and "Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape" was better than a barbecue (not to mention the Gene Simmons sex tape).
Labels: "red light district", amateur, amy fisher, celebrity, evanka buttafuoco, joey buttafuoco, lou bellera
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 Studio: Jewel De'Nyle/Sinsation
Director: Jewel De'Nyle
Cast: Jewel De'Nyle, Shelly Martinez
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
In the opening credits of her first movie in four years, director/performer Jewel De'Nyle sends mixed messages. Giving the camera a double-barreled finger she says, "Fuck off." She expands on this later by saying, "I'll break you and make you mine.Now fuck off, bitch." Does she want us to watch the goddamn movie or not?
De'Nyle (who, in case you didn't know, is daughter to MILF-come-lately DeBella) is just as juicy and dirty as fans remember her, and her niche sensibilities are assured. With partner Shelly Martinez, De'Nyle executes several Bettie Page-style maneuvers before more or less going off the deep end with a sword.
But whereas Page was depicted as a real innocent in "The Notorious Bettie Page," no one could accuse De'Nyle of being wholesome. It's hard to imagine Page demanding we look at her "fat fucking pussy", for example. Still, De'Nyle channels the possibility of Page as nasty as you might want her to be.
The ladies tackle a good deal of the fetish curriculum like spanking and smoking, with long shots of the two of them just standing there and breathing. For consumers intent on watching patiently, this sort of material is gold. For the rest of us, these more stationary scenes alternate with more traditional action.
What is most satisfying is that both De'Nyle and Martinez aren't playing at being rough with each other, and neither is a shrinking emaciated thing; their bodies absorb the abuse.
Martinez has a great face for this. A pro wrestler (she was ECW's Ariel and is now Selinas with Total Nonstop Action), she plays to the camera expertly, and the veteran De'Nyle has the mugging down as well.
 While it is sad that there isn't a guy in there (like, for example, me) to add variety, De'Nyle and Martinez do hit all their marks with aplomb. Just don't give up on Jewel when she tells you to fuck off.
Labels: bdsm, fetish, Jewel De'Nyle, Shelly Martinez
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 Studio: New Sensations
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Ashlynn Brooke, Alexis Texas, Sabrina Rose, Katie Morgan, Brooke Banner, Tommy Gunn
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
"If there's going to be a rich bitch center of attention," says Margot, Ashlynn's college roommate, "it should be me, God damn it. I'm a delicate snowflake, fuckers."
Ashlynn Brooke's college adventures were too comprehensive to be contained on a single DVD, so we rejoin her as she helps her roommate escape the shadow of her sister Jenny, played by Brooke Banner. Banner is famous around the sorority for the wrong kind of celebrity: a night vision sex tape.
Ashlynn shepherds Margot through rush week at a snooty sorority. As Misty, the head sorority girl, Katie Morgan acts her ass off.
"Do you think my boobs are big? My boyfriend says they're bigger in bed."
Meanwhile, Margot's boyfriend (Tommy Gunn), can't come over because his cable is being upgraded by a female cable guy (Alexis Texas, who looks just like Ashlynn Brooke here). Way to subvert the dominant paradigm!
The sorority pledges must prove loyalty to their sisters by providing lap dances at an "urban" bar. They don't complain much. I know for a fact it's worse at Vassar.
Monique eases her despair with a bathroom tryst with Misty, who is at first nervous.
"I'm not some kind of thespian," Misty says.
"That joke never gets old!" replies Monique. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to move to Massachusetts and get married or anything."
In the end, Monique isn't forced to join the sorority, and her place in her grandmother's will (yes, this movie has a B story) is secured. While these things are accomplished without Ashlynn's direct involvement, we'll give her the credit anyway, because it's her damn movie.
Labels: Alexis Texas, andre madness, Ashlynn Brooke, brooke banner, Katie Morgan, new sensations, Sabrina Rose, Tommy Gunn
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Hookers And Blow: mini-review
 Studio: Brandon Iron/JM Productions
Director: Brandon Iron
Cast: Joe Blow, Missy Stone, Nika, Wendy West, Natalie Sky, Starla, Priscilla Milan, Brandon Iron
The Canadian Iron uses substance abuse and sex addiction as a framing device for this movie, and our hero and Iron's proxy, Joe Blow, falls off the wagon pretty quickly. Outside a Jack in the Box, no less.
"I guess I lost my 30-day chip," he says.
My only problem (other than Joe not taking the opportunity to pick up a box of Jack in the Box' tasty egg rolls, which I have also given up for Lent) is that one thing we Americans know about hookers is that you don't kiss them.
Perhaps because Nika appears Czech she doesn't know of this rule which is I believe why our Civil War was fought.
According to scholars, the South seceded because they felt kissing hookers was covered under "oral." What we now know as a blowjob they called a "julep."
Iron finds a series of exceedingly hookery or otherwise-trafficed-looking women, all appearing about as incoherent and tottery as Amy Winehouse at the end of "Saving Private Ryan."
Joe keeps his shirt on most of the time, and at one point wears a hat and looks a little like Tim Armstrong. I could say it's a downward spiral, but Joe appears to have already hit bottom and is now going sideways.
The real discovery in this movie is someone named Wendy West, a 22-year-old from Phoenix. In a bonus scene (Iron gets every dollar (US) out of his talent; first they do a regular scene with someone else, then they blow him), West vows to never get breast implants.
She made this promise on December 9 (in that Hookers And Blow was filmed in late November/early December and some of it was shot outside, viewers get to see Porn Valley's version of Christmas).
Hookers And Blow suffers from some very busy editing at times, but other than that the fun-loving sleaze is very immediate. While these women behave more like porn performers than hookers, we realize that porn is all about the fantasy.
And we're assuming Joe never went to rehab.
 Labels: Brandon Iron, Joe Blow, minireview, Missy Stone, Natalie Sky, Nika, Priscilla Milan, Starla, Wendy West
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Studio: Vivid
Director: B. Skow
Cast: Sunny Leone, Matt Erickson, Monique Alexander, Nick Manning, Megan Monroe, Rebeca Linares, Charles Dera
"I want you to come in the kitchen and clean up my peanut butter and jelly sandwich," says Matt Erickson to Sunny Leone in the movie which features her first Boy/Girl scene.
Well, she goes to the kitchen, but not only is there no peanut butter, but also no jelly. Instead Leone makes a show of washing the dishes but only manages to get herself wetter and wetter. Luckily she's not wearing any panties. But seriously, if you invite Leone to your house, don't expect her to clean it.
Erickson seems like a nice enough guy, but the movie makes the right choice by treating the pairing almost like a POV scene; the point of the movie is Sunny's deflowering, so we don't see too much of Erickson. Don't feel sorry for him, though. He lost his sandwich but gained so much more.
One might think that a movie called "Sunny Loves Matt" and touted as her first B/G outing would be all about Sunny, but the next scene features Rebeca Linares being forced to strip in order to keep her boyfriend (Nick Manning) from watching porn.
This is a fascinating scene because Manning's got himself a tray of nachos and what appears to be a 47' HDTV. And he is watching porn in the middle of the day. When Linares flounces up to him wearing nothing but a red bikini, he dismisses her so he can watch more TV. If I were Linares, I would have left. But perhaps because she is Spanish and used to fighting over men, she perseveres.
Now I think Manning is a fine actor and I have no problem saying he is a very handsome man. But when something similar happened to me recently, do you know what I did? I shut off the goddamn television.
Finally Manning gives Linares the attention she craves, but the TV stays on.
"Dropping Loads!" Manning cries. "Right in your mouth!"
"Mi boca," Linares translates.
"All over the fucking place!"
Re: Matt Erickson. I didn't know who he was before this movie, but he is a lucky bastard. Soon after the first scene with Leone, she brings home Monique Alexander. It is as if Leone reached not only the milestone of opening her parts to a man but also pimping out her friends in a matter of days. This usually takes months. It's like passing the ninth step of AA, getting into the Hall of Fame on Rock Band, or attaining Clear in Scientology. Leone really has blossomed.
I mean, she really looks at home with a cock in her. It's as if all this Girls Only nonsense was a phase.
 I wonder if she's into kabbalah?
Labels: B. Skow, matt erickson, minireview, monique alexander, nick manning, rebeca linares, sunny leone
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Spunk'd: The Movie - Ponante & Cachapero review
 Studio: 6969 Entertainment
Director: Justin Kane
Cast: Aurora Snow, Penny Flame, Hillary Scott, Lexi Belle, Eva Angelina, Vanessa Lane, Katie Morgan, Mikayla, Ginger Lea, Jada Fire, Kelli Brooks, Ron Jeremy, Steven St. Croix, Trent Soluri, Herschel Savage, Dick Nasty, Marcos Leon, Nick Manning, Evan Stone
Portions of this review first appeared on XBiz and may have been edited. What follows is my edit of the article.
GRAM PONANTE: The most important thing to remember about "Spunk'd" is that it was made outside of porn's studio system.
Porn, which often tries to position itself as indie cinema, is often more constricted than its Hollywood counterpart. So low are the margins in porn that most companies can't afford a movie that doesn't fit the formula, so movies like “Spunk'd,” with its large cast and elongated shooting schedule, often don't get made.
JOANNE CACHAPERO: Very astute, Professor Ponante. If sex were kung-fu, try writing something creative around five or six fight sequences that have to last 20 minutes each, leaving you half an hour for character development and to throw down some sort of storyline. Oh, and shoot it all in two days, okay?
 Not to mention, most porn companies are interested in a product that will sell, not in making an art movie or a comedy, so they’re apt to stick to what is perceived as a moneymaker; the standard formula or a copy of someone else’s successful movie.
This is the same mentality in mainstream Hollywood that brought you bloated extravaganzas like “Mission Impossible III,” only in adult, it’s “Mondo Bukkake Cum Festival 54.”
GP: Well, because it was a Cum Festival, it got NEA funding. I like how you wryly lampoon the porn industry by making up a movie title and then adding a high number to it. I'm going to steal that. In fact, I'm Going to Steal That 27!!!
JC: And who writes the fucking formula? Adult audiences have been trained to expect a certain sequence of events. Granted, one man’s gonzo is another man’s Shakespeare, but more often than not what you end up with is either a dreadfully boring, formula-driven stroke flick where, if you’re lucky, you might get a really hot scene or two.
There’s something to be said for recognizing the farce in a porno context. The great thing about “Spunk’d” is director Justin Kane sees what a goof it can be, and just keeps piling it on by throwing in everything else that’s goofy about the media-obsessed, reality-driven mainstream world that we live in.
I don’t know how it is for you, Gram, but when a guy asks me to take one in the face in real life, it is kind of amusing. I try to act all serious like it’s a real turn-on, but deep inside, I’m laughing my ass off.
GP: You were laughing inside? At Thanksgiving? In front of my parents?
JC: Anyway, there are more loads being dropped in “Spunk’d” than there are cellphone pix of Britney Spears’ kootch on TMZ.com.
GP: Exactly, Jo-Jo. What makes this a special movie is that it has finally made the sacred connection between reality TV and porn. The problem with reality TV is it never admits it's porn with better production values and no penetration. Well, except market penetration.
A parody of the basic cable Ashton Kutcher prank vehicle "Punk'd," "Spunk'd" merely takes the conceit a little further by adding sex to it.
So where "The Simple Life" will introduce Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to a hillbilly family, "Spunk'd" brings Hairless Hilton and Cornhole Richie to a hillbilly family that, naturally, fucks them.
JC: There ain’t nothin’ natural about it, Gram. I thought I would fall off the couch, this scene was so funny.
GP: Luckily the couch was on your lawn already.
JC: When big brother Trent (played by Trent Soluri) is getting a hummer from his loving sister Phoebe Sue (played by Kelli Brooks) and tells Hairless and Cornhole, “My sister could suck start a leaf blower,” it just gets better from there.
Pretty soon it’s in-bred hootenanny fun for the whole family. Mom and Dad (played by Ginger Lea and Steven St. Croix) have their hillybilly on the whole time. When Hairless finally takes it in the rear from Daddy, Mom looks over and smiles, “I know we’ve never been able to afford it, but now you can say you’ve been in a Hilton.”
 My other favorite scene in the movie is when “Lindsay Blohan” has to go through a security check with boy-pal “Wilmer Balled-Yer-Mama” (played by Marcos Leon).
Blohan is played by very pretty Penny Flame — who actually looks like Lindsay “It’s not my coke, officer” Lohan. And let’s face it, deep down inside, all of America believes that those tabloid celebutante princesses like La Lohan are all bound to end up in homemade sex tapes once their mainstream careers take a crap anyway. It’s only a 30-minute ride from Beverly Hills to Chatsworth, you know, and at this point Lohan just might do anything for a couple of bumps, if you know what I mean.
GP: No, Joanne. No, I don’t. I left working at adult trade magazines so I wouldn’t have to know what you mean.
And Nick Manning, in a scenery-chewing performance as Gashton Kootcher, busts through the door with a camera crew to spunk on the girls’ faces. Good times had by all.
JC: Yup. Manning is a perfect ham as Kootcher, but toward the end, in this weird “Witches of Eastwick” reverse gangbang when Manning is tied up and ravished by three demon-ettes (Mikayla, Eva Angelina and Vanessa Lane), you kind of wish the girls would smother him more.
GP: Porn is so intent on being taken seriously — witness movies like "Corruption" and "Sacred Sin" — that it forgets a lot of its appeal is in escapism and ridiculousness. As you know Joanne, it is difficult addressing weighty issues like the abuse of power and infant mortality (themes tackled in "Corruption" and "Sacred Sin," respectively) when loads are being deposited on 19-year-old faces.
JC: Wow, you’re in a serious mood, Gram, after watching such a delightful romp. Honestly, it’s kind of a turn-on when you get all intellectual like this, professor.
Anyway, I agree. The one thing adult can do that Hollywood can’t is show penetration. But it’s almost impossible to capitalize on it because a lot of people still feel uncomfortable viewing actual sex, even if it’s in a “real” movie. It’s a little too much “reality” even if the audience knows it’s all choreographed and staged.
So, what do a lot of people do when they’re faced with something that makes them feel squeamish? They crack a joke.
It’s the same logic behind the least-attractive guy that gets laid all the time because he has a great sense of humor. In fact, comedy is always best when it’s based on something totally socially unacceptable and over-the-top.
GP: Justin Kane made this movie with an excellent cast and his own and his buddy's money. He used to work at Nectar but opted to make this film himself, a decision that has paid off in an excellent movie that takes reality TV to its logical conclusions.
JC: God love him — it must have cost a fortune, but a very fine freshman debut!
GP: In addition to above-average production quality — a split-screen Hillary Scott plays the Holeson twins — when have you ever seen a split screen in porn? Kane gets some hilarious performances out of not only usual suspects like Penny Flame, Steven St. Croix, and Nick Manning, but also people like Katie Morgan, Marcos Leon, and Ginger Lea.
JC: Don’t forget Evan Stone. A special shout-out to Morgan, who also was in a Jim Holliday movie we reviewed, and performed with the same fun-loving gusto in both movies. And you’ve got your classic stars, too — the ubiquitous Ron Jeremy, Herschel Savage and Dick Nasty.
It sure looked like the cast was having a lot of fun.
GP: "Spunk'd" also fluidly mixes dialogue with sex. Sex scenes are not discrete in this movie — there is talking throughout — and that is an adjustment that is easy to make.
JC: Maybe because I’m a girl…
GP: …but not yet a woman.
JC: I found myself wanting to rush through the sex scenes a little bit to see what the next wild set-up would be. But don’t get me wrong — the sex was pretty hot and definitely strokable.
GP: "Strokable"? Who are you - AVN? Get out of my office.
A movie like "Spunk'd" makes me think studios should throw fifty or sixty grand, once a year, at an outside filmmaker and just leave him or her alone. In this case, the results are fantastic. I would, of course, represent Big Porn's interests on the set to ensure that over-artsy auteur don't think it's OK to cut to the guy's face during the pop shot.
JC: Unless he’s the one getting spunked! But now we’re talking about a whole different kind of movie.
See also: 2007: The Year Spunk'd Broke
Labels: Aurora Snow, directors, Eva Angelina, Hillary Scott, justin Kane, Lexi Belle, Penny Flame, ponante and cachapero, xbiz
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 Studio: Metro
Director: David Aaron Clark
Cast: Lana Croft, Kina Kai, Kalyssa Kye, Leilani, Ange Venus, Kitty, Jandi Lin
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
"They say this house is haunted. But I know all the ghosts by name. At least the most important ones. Without them, I might end up lonely."
Poor angelic Lana Croft. The Porn Valley McMansion she rattles around is lousy with memories. Luckily for us, they are sexy, sexy memories.
Porn directors who've been around long enough know there are several ways to coax a narrative out of performers unequal to realizing the non-sexual aspects of their vision. David Aaron Clark chooses the millennial version of the silent film dialogue card to telegraph Lana Croft's thoughts as she clatters around the rented Encino home of a Persian dentist in his latest, which he describes as a "hardcore fever dream filled with broken angels and insatiable demonesses."
Croft is haunted by visions of a dead lover and her own sister, whose relationship with a "Korean bitch" sundered the siblings. The sex scenes in No Man's Land: Asian Edition 6 are both flashbacks and hallucinations, but the result is clear: grief and resentment strips us of our divinity, and not even Red Bull can get our wings back.
Croft stubs out her cigarette on the framed photo of her sister (Kina Kai who, like Croft, is Filipina) and the aforementioned Korean (Kalyssa Kye) who broke up their family, and we know that Croft chose to have the photo framed only so she could stub out her cigarette thusly again and again.
Then we meet Leilani, Croft's true love who, tragically, died in a plane crash, just like Col. Henry Blake.
"I've got no quarrel with Mclean Stevenson," said Clark. "But I accept all interpretations of my work."
In the final sequence, Croft reads a manga illustrated by Michael Manning. The pages come to life in a scene with Ange Venus, Jandi Lin, and Krissy as demonesses who complete Croft's transformation. Well, she had a good run.
More space is needed to adequately describe the thought process that governs the committing to film of a fantasy that must be carried out with a limited budget. There is a lot going on in this movie, which is far weightier than one would expect from a high-numbered porn series. We watch as beautiful tableaux are created but wonder if anyone gets it but the director.
It doesn't matter. It's delicious to watch.
"This is how we make fine cheese," Clark said.
Previously: No Man's Land: White Man's Burden
Labels: ange venus, asian, interviews, kina kai, lana croft, leilani
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 Studio: Paradise Visuals
Director: Spencer Benedict
Cast: Felix Vicious, Spencer Benedict, Nick Manning, Sunny Lane, Hailey Young, Jack Venice, John Strong, Leah Luv, Kimberly Kane
Portions of this review originally appeared in XBiz and may have been edited. What follows is my edit of the article.
Gram Ponante: Joanne and I disagreed – finally – about a movie. Or at least she saw potential in “The Make Up” where I saw a swing and a miss.
Joanne Cachapero: One of the great things about the glut of low-quality porn on the market is that it seems to have inspired a whole crop of ambitious directors to make innovative movies that don’t suck, with some surprisingly good stuff coming from fledgling filmmakers like Spencer Benedict, aka Jason Green, co-owner of Paradise Visuals.
GP: Yes, Jo Jo, but I am a Buddhist, as you well know, and it is important to remember that something is not necessarily good just because it was produced as a reaction to something that is bad. Not that that was the case with “The Make Up,” but if you’re going to make a sweet porn comedy that relies on acting and nuance rather than a porn hammer, you’d better get the acting and nuance right.
JC: “The Make Up” piqued my interest because I knew Jason/Spencer (maybe I should just call him “Spence?”) was completely capable of writing a commercially viable film since he worked for a while at legendary B-movie studio Troma, which turned out such cult classics as “The Toxic Avenger” and “Surf Nazis Must Die.”
But was he capable of turning out a commercially viable porno? And was he also capable of playing the male lead in the film without ever dropping his pants, in a comedic, non-sex role?
GP: The answer is a solid “Sort of.” While “The Make Up” is a light and airy comedy in the vein of what Stormy Daniels is also attempting, and director/writer/star Benedict, when he gets comfortable in the role, pulls off a nebbishy character reminiscent of Woody Allen, his acting is not assured enough to sustain the movie. And, as this is a porn movie, to have the main role be a non-sex one requires ample compensation in other areas which just doesn’t come.
JC: In “The Make Up,” right from the opening scene, you know you’re in for something a little different — reminiscent of the story-driven porns of the ‘70s — when you see Spence and his leading lady, the lovely Felix Vicious (in her final hardcore role), and the story premise gets set up with the couple arguing while Vicious is brushing her teeth.
And while I love vignette-style and wall-to-wall movies, as you may have noticed when you’re fast forwarding through your favorite fuck flick, sometimes just fantasizing about sex gets boring.
I mean, Felix Vicious brushing her teeth??? She doesn’t even use the toothbrush to play with herself or anything. As the scene progresses; simultaneously, Spence ask Vicious to marry him — and she says that she thinks they ought to break up.
To prove her point, Vicious says, “What about the time you called me a ‘cunt’ at Disneyland? In front of Mickey Mouse?”
“It was a bad day,” Spence replies; light, funny bits of dialogue like that, throughout the movie lead to story and character development that’s more intelligent than in your average adult video.
GP: I agree. That’s why we want more. Spence seeks advice from his dad (played by Bill Margold) and the latter suggests a private island resort. What Dad doesn’t say is that the resort is a swingers’ club. Mandy reluctantly agrees to go, and the couple are shocked – shocked! – to find out that sex is going on there.
JC: There’s a really good scene between Sunny Lane (a girl that I think doesn’t get enough credit as a performer) and John Strong that is hot and funny. Lane is a hooker and Strong her john, and for every different position and act, Lane keeps increasing her price. Strong plays the anxious customer to a tee and then turns out to have an empty wallet.
There’s a sex scene with Hailey Young and Jack Venice that I think would have been better if Spence could have cast a couple of classic stars, like Randy West and Christy Canyon, maybe? In my experience with swing clubs, you’re more likely to see mature couples having sex by the pool, than young porn stars.
GP: That’s because you book your swing clubs on Travelocity, Joanne.
JC: Maybe the best, most twisted scene is one where Spence is sitting on a couch and Leah Luv and Nick Manning decide they’re going to have sex while Spence watches.
Manning, who is a vocal performer in any case, starts grunting like a caveman and growling sweet, sentimental love talk, like “Suck my cock, you dirty fucking whore…” and “Dropping loads…” The expressions on Spence’s face are the same as the ones I make at home, whenever I watch Manning perform. Yikes!
GP: The scenes work most effectively when the coverage does not result in the actors repeating themselves, which happens a few times in the movie. Sometimes it’s hard watching something that is so well-intended fall in the same traps other porn movies do. We expect so little of porn movies that when one comes along that tries a little harder but still succumbs to the same narrative or editing inadequacies as its peers, we’re more disappointed.
JC: I have to admit, though, Manning is a turn-on in a weird, animal way.
GP: Accept these things about yourself, Joanne.
JC: There are some things that are a little rough — the last scene with Kimberly Kane and Vicious is a stretch for the imagination.
 GP: That Vicious goes through the movie playing a (justifiably) frigid and reluctant girlfriend, it is not credible that a few nice words from Spence turn her. She jumps into a girl/girl scene with Kane abruptly.
As you’d predict, the couple makes amends, but by then everything just seems sloppy. The priest is drunk, the final dialogue between Mandy and Spencer is uninspiring and, against all odds, Margold is still in the movie. Then he jumps in the pool and everyone laughs. Where is the Toxic Avenger when you need him?
JC: There were a couple of other films this year that followed this same, basic idea — Justin Kane’s “Spunk’d” and Michael Lucas’ “The Intern,” both with good results. Somebody ought to throw a real budget at Spencer Benedict/Jason Green, because I know he could make a bigger, smarter sex video, under well-funded circumstances.
GP: I agree that this is a guy who, like me, would benefit from money being thrown at him.
Labels: felix vicious, ponante and cachapero, xbiz
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