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 Studio: Wicked
Director: Mark Stone
Cast: Lindsey Meadows, Prseley Maddox, April ASubrey, Jayme Langford, Kayla Carrera, Kissy Kapri, Nikki Kane, Ryann Reynolds, Evan Stone, Marco Banderas, Nick Manning, Randy Spears, Marco Banderas
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
There's a dance party for the nurses, and they'll do anything to win. Even resort to sex and martial arts.
It's movies like Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go that remind us that the rental of two or three skimpy nurses' outfits spread over eight or so women on different shooting days is really all it takes to satisfy the porn consumer's need for a narrative.
This movie is just about pointless, but is light and charming regardless. A vignette film not featuring any of Wicked's female contract stars, it has the feel of a movie that has little to prove and little to lose.
This inspires some serious hammy acting from three of the four hammiest actors in porn: Randy Spears, Evan Stone, and Nick Manning (Steven St. Croix couldn't make it) who reappears as Mr. Thermopyles for no other reason than to refer to his character in the third person.
We meet various nurses over the course of the movie, and each informs her patient that there's a dance that night. Somehow kung fu is incorporated.
One gets the impression that there were some extra props lying around, some money was freed up, and Nick Manning happened to be driving by. "Hey! Let's make a movie!"
Porn consumers familiar with the work of the late Jim Holliday might see similarities in this movie directed by Mark Stone, in that there are nurses. Unlike Holliday's work, however, there is little scripted dialogue. The viewer can enjoy scenes of pretty women in nurses' uniforms without sitting through a self-important plot.
Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go is not an important porn movie; it's just fun.
 Labels: April ASubrey, Jayme Langford, Kayla Carrera, Kissy Kapri, lindsey meadows, Nikki Kane, Prseley Maddox, Ryann Reynolds, wicked
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Mini-review: The Night When Evil Falls vol. 1
 Studio: Adult Source Media
Director: No idea
Cast: No idea
"A vulgar sacrifice to help heal Master Gilva who was wounded in the magic world!"
I would be culturally inept if I were to say that the Japanese hentai obsessions with rape, underpants, tentacles, and humiliation - as well as their dependence on the spirit world to cultivate those tentacles - were somehow less valid than our own penchant for cum siphoning into champagne glasses.
But watching The Night When Evil Falls, an overexplained cliffhanger featuring several scenes of coerced sex, most involving the insertion of tentacles and snakes, at first concerned me. Then I wondered if the ASPCA would be alerted if I went out and bought me some snakes for ,my own local underpants experiments.
But I'll let the dialogue do the talking. Here are some screenshots with their accompanying dialogue.
 "For a tomboy, you're curvy with a girlish body. But your tits are small."
 "You're a vulgar girl who loses control to a swollen clit, aren't you, Girl? I'll show you the discipline of Calderos!"
 "The water is absorbing the magic - the magic that is in your pussy juice!"
Labels: anime, hentai, japan, tentacles
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 Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Stoya, Gianna, Carmella Bing, Renae Cruz, Brianna Love, Jerry,
The beauty of - or at least the idea behind - a POV title is that, by not showing any identifying characteristic of the male of the couple beyond what is absolutely necessary, the viewer can feel like he is in the driver's seat. And since the girl plays directly to the camera (and you, unless you, like me, are too ashamed to look directly at your screen), the atmosphere is that much more intimate.
Perhaps because they realize there will be inevitable camera slips, revealing more of the identity of the stunt cock than they would like, or maybe because they know that viewers might not like to imagine themselves exactly, but themselves better, fucking Stoya and Gianna, Digital Playground does away with the usual anonymity of POV movies right off the bat in Jack's Playground 9; Gianna walks into the room and immediately calls you "Jerry".
What with Amy Fisher's recent reappearance, Gianna suddenly has a little more context, Unabashedly full-figured, Gianna looks like Fisher's extra saucy little cousin. After she delivers her line that she was going to go out with the girls but she decided to stay home comes the following exchange:
 JERRY: I was supposed to meet the guys for beer.
GIANNA: Why don't you just bring them over?
 This little bit of improvisation places Gianna way up there in my personal ranking.
 Even though newly-minted Digital Playground contract girl Stoya is on the box, Gianna opens this collection with a bang. Director Robby D. might be working within a certain structure, but he exploits its advantages very well, taking advantage of Gianna's big and blowsy nature and letting her take over the scene. One of the highlights is when Gianna nips off to take a bathroom break and you/Jerry are left lying there staring at the bathroom door. She comes back in a minute, but this was a nice nod to reality.
Stoya's appearance is a pleasure. Maybe she's always on, or maybe she is just naturally fun, but her scene - she shows up sans panties and interrupts "Jack" while he's cleaning - is free of porn posturing; I thought that she might just be the type to throw a wrench in my rigorous housekeeping by demanding a toss in the sheets.
This is the first time I had seen Stoya in action and I was so happy that she was not the train wreck that her "official" Digital Playground bio makes her out to be:
About Stoya(TM): Originally from the Carolina's, Stoya is blessed with striking features and a lean, tight body. Completely natural, she stands tall at 5'7" and weighs in at 125 lbs. Her pale skin is accentuated by dark hair and full, pouting lips. With an affliction for pain and suffering, Stoya defines herself only as an android from the future. She loves to make clothes, read good books and play with her cats. Truly unique and intensely passionate, Stoya takes pride in her nudity and general moody perception of the world. Later, Stoya's bio was updated:
Stoya™ is original and outrageous. A carefree spirit that loves being the center of attention, she embodies a fun, friendly persona that fits seamlessly with Digital Playground’s esteemed roster of contract stars. With striking dark features and porcelain skin, this tall and slender beauty has the ability to radiate a multitude of looks that can be sophisticated, romantic, sexy and playfully cute.
Making her home in Hollywood, CA, Stoya™ previously resided in Philadelphia, PA. A nude Internet model and former go-go dancer, she takes pride in her nudity and revels in her individuality. Nurturing her creative side she has a passion for making latex fetish wear. While Stoya™ explores the secretive exploits in her life and treads along the pain and suffering path, she also enjoys reading books, listening to music and playing with her cats. Digital Playground is confident that Stoya’s daring and curious nature that will ultimately define her work and forge a reputation that will surely precede her.
Stoya™ is 21-years old, 5 foot 7 inches tall, weighs 125 pounds, with dark brown hair and eyes, luminescent skin and measures 32DD-24-36. Her astrological sign is Gemini. I understand that lots of people don't get porn for free and that companies spend a lot of time and money determining how they can fill the holes in their lineups by appealing to customers they do not yet have. And maybe someone will look at this bio and say, "This is exactly what I need", but I don't like to think so, because that would mean - well, it would mean the clause "an affliction for pain and suffering" didn't make him want to go out and kill someone. What I'm saying is that I like her better than her bio.
 Carmella Bing comes next. Completing a perfect sandwich that would include Gianna as the other slice of bread and Stoya as the meat, Bing is similarly gloriously juicy.
 That the POV format kinda gets turned on its head - and not in a fun way - with shots like this does not take away from the overall effectiveness of this movie. Stoya, Gianna, and Bing: Oh My.
 Brianna Love and Renae Cruz are also in this movie, but since they do not fit into my unified sandwich theory, this will remain a mini-review.
Labels: carmella bing, gianna, minireview, stoya
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Gram's Dirty Dozen of 2007
This list originally appeared on Fleshbot
In 2007, my Porn Processing Plant handled everything from big budget epics like "Upload" to smaller, more personal films like the Amy Fisher Sex Tape. I laughed at comedies like "Spunk'd" , lifted up my (heart) to lighthearted romps like "Babysitters", and then watched (it) get broken with "The Skin Trade". The year also saw me journeying to sordid warehouses and the beaches of Ibiza to bring you the finest snatches of Porn's Multistained Tapestry. And you really liked it!
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Sex Z Pictures
Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )
. . .
6969 Productions
Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )
. . .
Naughty America
A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
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Bad Seed
Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
. . .
Teravision
Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
. . .
Hustler/Teravision
You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
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Loaded DIgital
Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
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Private
I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
. . .
Digital Playground
Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
. . .
Red Light District
Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
. . .
Wicked
Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in Pleasure Principle, this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
. . .
 "The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment
The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
. . .
BAKER'S DOZEN:
 "Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions
Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )
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Studio: Wicked
