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 Studio: Julie Simone Productions
Director: Julie Simone
Cast: Gia Paloma, Julie Simone, Master Liam, Krissy, Lystra
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Gia Paloma is an aspiring actress of the sweater kitten variety, content with reading script sides at home until she is summoned to an audition in L.A.'s mysterious warehouse district. She tints her hair and dresses in such a way that her cleavage appears to be the knees of a fetally-posed Renoir model. The X-Files mood music and ticking clock in the soundtrack bode ill for our heroine, who is shoved to the ground after appearing in front of her auditor. So much for the Hollywood dream.
In another part of the warehouse, naked cage candy Lystra is asked by Julie Simone and Master Liam if she is hungry. She nods. Frankly, I thought something else would happen than Simone whipping out her strap-on. You know, like one of those tasty Trader Joe's chicken pot pies. But that shows how out of the loop I am with the way I keep my caged naked Asians.
"You're not worthy of sucking Liam's cock yet;" Lystra is told, "you have to suck on my plastic one first."
(Even the plastic cock appears to have an angry bite mark on the top of it; this is a bit of dildonic verisimilitude I can do without.)
We pan out to reveal the similarly caged and naked Krissy, whom Liam flogs about the feet and buttocks. Flogging Krissy is not the first thing I would do in similar circumstances, but hey, this is Hollywood. Simone gives the strap-on treatment to Krissy as well, considering the latter is not deserving of Liam's cock, either.
 Why they are undeserving I'm not sure. It may have something to do with the expense involved in dressing Liam like "Violator"-era Depeche Mode.
Nothing revealed thus far is too different from the way most reality shows are cast, but I was still intrigued to see what would happen with Paloma.
When we see Paloma again, she is bound and gagged. She is toyed with by the casting directors and, in a nice twist, the script she was reading earlier makes a comeback. We're not sure if she gets the part, but Liam finally gets to do something other than flog people.
I first saw this movie at a bar with the jukebox drowning out the sound. When I received a screener copy, the note attached read "Watch this accompanied by Cheap Trick" (Simone goes against type by being a dominatrix with a sense of humor).
But I should have taken that advice. Audition's sound is pretty poor, and a viewer would be much better served by putting on mood music of his or her choice (aside from "The Flame").
The sound quality also takes away from the effectiveness of the movie - the movie didn't turn out any differently than I'd expected when I saw it with the dialogue restored. Simone and company cast extremely well from several different body types; you can see why these actresses were considered for the role.
 I hope Gia gets the part, though. She seemed to want it more.
 Labels: bdsm, fetish, gia paloma, julie simone
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 Studio: Wicked
Director: Mark Stone
Cast: Penny Flame, Kelli Tyler, Katarina Kat, Kissy Kapri, Aubrey Addams, Marlie Moore, Nadi Phuket, Randy Spears, Evan Stone, Barrett Blade, Manuel Ferrara, Charles Dera, Chunk
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Adult women in schoolgirl uniforms has become a cultural indicator divorced from cultural practice, in the same way that Hawaiians don't have luaus without tourists watching. That is why we can watch a film like Reform School Girls 2 like anthropologists, and not have to mail back our college degrees and refund money to our parents.
Unlike other movies in which the bait and switch becomes apparent immediately, this film mightily maintains the schoolgirl conceit all the way through (even if, shame on Wicked, we never see Penny Flame and Katarina Kat in the same scene, as implied by the boxcover).
Mr. Davidson (Randy Spears) is in gravelly, bemused I Know You're Here to Jerk Off mode as he explains that his Headly Academy for "girls slightly over 18" is all about a hands-on approach to finding the right slots for wayward girls to fit in. You can see where it goes from there.
The first applicant is the delicious Penny Flame, whose winning sense of humor matches that of Spears as all attempts at convincing her that this is a vo-cational school rather than a va-cational school lead to the Inevitable. Afterward, she spits out his come and pops a wad of gum back in her mouth.
Aubrey Addams doesn't have the "finest" clue how to cook or "how to handle meat" so she is paired with Manuel Ferrara, the school chef. He demonstrates on her how to show respect to chicken breasts. We had a bet about how long it would take someone to say, "Now I'm going to show you how to stuff a pussy." It took maybe five minutes.
Then we meet the toothsome Nadi Phuket, sentenced to dance class with Evan Stone. Despite the fact that this is a class for The Dance, he somehow finds a way to direct her to "use 'Cock' in a sentence."
Then the Ukraine's Katarina Kat discovers that Acting and Modeling instructor Charles Dera's Method has nothing to do with Stanislavsky. It's hard to keep track of everyone who washes ashore in this business, but I found myself lamenting the hollow months I spent not knowing who Katarina Kat was.
The game Kissy Kapri and Marlie Moore do the best they can with modeling clay for a man named Chunk, playing their art teacher. If we didn't have gay stereotypes, how would we know where to place the lesbo scenes?
Finally, music teacher Barrett Blade works on the vocal cords of Lexxi Tyler.
This movie is part of Wicked's Wall to Wall series, its gonzo division. When not producing higher-budget fare, this is what the company does. It's a good niche for the company, delivering enough of a setup to make couples feel OK about buying porn, but not taking itself so seriously that people like me would have a problem with the dialogue before I forget what the real purpose of the movie is.
Labels: katarina kat, Penny Flame, wicked
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Hookin' Up
 Studio: Silver Age Productions
Director: Porno Jim
Cast: Page Morgan, Riley Mason, Simone Valentino, Brina James, Tommy Pistol, Zak Sabbath, Kenny
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Hookin' Up, directed by New York's Porno Jim, is like a love letter to the delightful Page Morgan. And why not? We need to write more letters.
Page, playing Shiloh (each character in the movie is named after a different celebrity kid. There's Frances Bean, Kal El, Audio Science Jones and, of course, Apple) is off to a club to celebrate her 21st birthday. Boyfriend Audio Science Jones (Zak Sabbath) is off to Idaho to fight fires ("Audio Scxience Jones is a man of his word," he explains) and can't join her, so pal Apple (Riley Mason), is going to get her a boy toy for her party.
The party takes place at a Brooklyn club (entertainment provided by the excellent Project Jenny Project Jan) and we watch the throng pair off amidst the birthday festivities. First Apple hooks up with Frances Bean (The Bi Apple's Simone Valentino) and then Tallulah (Brina Jones) hooks up with Magnus (Kenny).
It is a pleasure to see New York clubs and ratty apartments again, and especially pornic versions of them. We are not led astray with unrealistic situations save for, say, the length of the hookups. Hookups are all about getting someone's pants off as fast as you can. Maybe the cab ride cooled their ardor enough to guarantee a porn-scene-length hookup.
The greatest verisimilitude is achieved in the Tallulah/Magnus scene. He is a little creepy and perhaps she regrets the hookup halfway through. I spotted this because she didn't swallow. As he strokes her hair afterward and says what a "pleasurable" time he had with her, he asks for her phone number.
She says, "That's not a good idea," and leaves. Another characteristic of the two hookups we've seen is that one partner always has to jet off someplace.
This is more like a documentary...
Apple picks Kal El (Tommy Pistol) for Shiloh, and the three of them head back to Shiloh's apartment overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge with the trains running loudly nearby. Hookin' Up was probably not what Washington Roebling had in mind when he built that bridge, but he certainly would have liked to sink a caisson into Morgan and Mason. I'm just saying.
Morgan and Pistol are charming, and Mason is juicy. In a bonus scene, Pistol and Morgan fuck in a dingy elevator lobby, ready to be discovered, her party makeup running, the picture Norman Rockwell never painted.
Hookin' Up is a sexy, fun movie, believable as a snapshot of random trysts in 2006. What doesn;t work is the lighting, which is poor, and the fact that Audio Science is off fighting fires in December. I think he's lying. In fact, I don't think his name is really Audio Science.
Labels: page morgan, porno jim, riley mason
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 Studio: Amateur District
Director:
Cast: Karine Muller, Raissa Prado, Fernanda Alencar, Patricia Kimberly, Dane
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
The term "sex tourism" has recently taken on as ugly a hue as "sex positive", wherein sex tourism is associated only with traveling to places for the purpose of sex with minors and sex positive means no fun at all. But Amateur District's Brazilian Bar Hopping is simply about the legal thrill of caipirinha-soaked evenings where all one worries about is a few Portuguese phrases and whether or not the leggy brunette at the bar is a tranny.
Such movies are made on the cheap in Rio and constitute a lucrative addition to the U.S. porn market with low overhead. There are no uppity directors, just cheap hotel rooms and some Brazilian hookers.
So where do we get the culture? Well, in America porn performers say "Fuck!" and "Ungg!" when you fuck them. In Brazil they say "Ai!" and "Ooeey!"
Such is the case with Raissa Prado. She doesn't care that the sheets are off the bed; she says "Ai!" anyway. And her uncredited partner is a gentleman; he kisses her thighs afterward and wipes the come out of her eye.
As the performers are (probably) aware that this is porn for a foreign audience, conversation is kept to a minimum, as are any porn tropes beyond the universal standard facial pop shot. For this reason the interactions seem more sincere and, though this is a horrible reverse stereotype, the Brazilian girls just seem to enjoy themselves more.
Witness Patricia Kimberly, whom I am moved to take away from there. I can treat her better than that guy with highlights.
A woman named Dane headlines the next scene which, like the others, begins in the bar of a strip club. Unlike the others, though, Dane stays thhere. Perhaps it is for this reason, the lack of creature comforts as provided by the dingy hotel room, that this scene fizzles. Dane's partner seems more into it than she does (though she does say "Gostoso!")
A woman named Karine Muller is serviced by a mane-tossing tool. I didn't know they had mane tossers in Brazil. You learn something new every day in this business.
Finally, Fernanda Alencar mixes things up a little by leading her partner through a different door to the same hotel room.
There was a lot of kissing and smiling in the movie, which was nice, and a lot of anal, which I suppose needed to be done because it was there. The simplicity of setting made it easier to concentrate on these all-natural, toned beauties. But it wouldn't have killed the nameless producer to have had one shot of Ipanema or some dirty favela sex, either; why call the movie Brazilian Bar Hopping if there's no creampies atop Pao de Azucar?
This movie needed to get out more. To paraphrase Murray Head: "One town's very like a nother when your head's down over your pieces (of ass), Brother."
Labels: "red light district", brazil, dvd, reviews
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Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2
 Studio: JM Productions
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Marylin Star, Candy Apple, Kiki D'aire, Tricia Ray, Cindy Crawford, Simone Shipper, Ashley Blue, Taylor Rain, Kami Andrews, Keiko, Michelle Avanti, many others
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Director Jim Powers narrates this collection of behind-the-scenes and cutting room floor footage with the gallows humor we have come to expect from JM Productions. People who think the porn industry is cynical and cruel will not be convinced otherwise by this movie, in which no one emerges looking glamorous. In fact, the only lesson to be learned from this movie is that things that might leave the rest of us feeling humiliated are answered with a universal "Whatever" by the performers and crew.
 First up is a scene from "The Violation of Marylin Star". Star, Powers tells us, fled to Canada when it was discovered she was involved in an insider trading deal. "She was a high class escort in the Northeast," Powers explains.
The advantages of the outtake format become apparent in the next scene, in which Powers, describing a shoot with Kiki D'aire, not only explains the process of "corking" (you'll have to watch it) but also, in counterpoint to his production manager, Johnny Thrust, details the departure from porn of Jason McCain.
"He tried to be a gay star but became a heroin addict instead," Thrust says. Brutal.
We witness D'aire's breakdown on set.
Thrust describes the next scene, a gokkun (swallow, as opposed to bukkake, which is a non-swallowing gang bang) as "the dregs of humanity coming out to squirt on girls". Powers says that he gets his male talent for large-scale bukkake and gokkun shoots from ads in the L.A. Weekly. (You can also participate by calling 818-709-4452.)
The value of this movie is the sheer amount of porn terminology and insider info, delivered in context by the cast and by Powers and Thrust in interstitial segments.
 We are privy to not one but two hostage scenarios, a fight between two gokkun dudes, drunkenness, repressed memories, a "whoregasm" ("when a porn performer has an orgasm and cries because she is releasing all her guilt," Thrust explains), the difference in work ethic between porn performers and hookers, and Kami Andrews, who says, "God bless the makers of porn for putting food on my table."
We learn more about the porn world in this compelling collection of outtakes than we did in however many seasons there were/are of "Real Sex" and "Family Business" combined. And it's not pretty.
Labels: ashley blue, JM, kami andrews, taylor rain
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Flashpoint X
 Studio: Wicked, Adam & Eve
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: Jenna Jameson, Asia Carrera, Brittany Andrews, Jill Kelly, Johnni Black, Missy, Sindee Cox, Sydnee Steele
This marketing event of 2007 and consistent bestseller (or so we're told) was virtually overlooked by the AVN Awards when it was released in 1998. Why? Is it because its cast is so much more important to us now, but back then its hokieness was unforgivable?
We are in a coed firehouse with guys who look like fireman and women who look like Jenna Jameson and Jill Kelly. If director Brad Armstrong had pitched me this movie, I would have stopped him right there and dumped money on him.
After firefighter Robert Dunn is killed in the line of duty in Repo Man-adjacent L.A. we are treated to a blinding array of props, locations, and equipment rentals unprecedented in porn movie history. There are fire trucks, at least ten firefighter uniforms, a cemetery scene, and a helicopter (although that might have been a lucky shot), as well as real fire, which Pirates didn't even have.
Unfortunately there is also dialogue more appropriate to a film with a smaller budget.
At the memorial service: "I want to thank Robert Dunn. And the loss to his family."
At the gravesite: "Let it go."/"This isn't over - not by a long shot!"
In the aftermath: "I keep thinking that I signed on to make my dad happy. He's a 20-year veteran of the f- department."
Don't get me wrong; I love and respect porn as an art form and its historic need to get to the sex by any means necessary. But the promise inherent in a movie about a coed firehouse is almost squandered when smart people are made to say stupid things.
Luckily, back at the firehouse Jill Kelly and Sindee are commiserating with one of their co-workers. He tells them, of course, that if they keep complaining they might as well pack it in. It's tough love. Then they have sex. So powerful is the idea that if a man just comforts a woman in a time of sorrow she will have sex with him - and bring a friend - that I applaud the production for bringing this truth to film.
And then an interesting B story starts to develop about a fireman's secret injuries and painkiller dependence. He will not share the news with Jenna because she already ditched a gimpy fireman and he doesn't want it to happen to him. "The minute I can't carry my load," he tells snoopy Jill Kelly, "I'll pack it in."
It also develops that Jenna leaves injury in her wake; at least two people in her past are revealed to have been killed or handicapped. It compromises her work. Will she get it together by the end of the movie?
About this time we wonder how many more fire-related sex scenes we can have. A likely candidate - the grateful rescue - appears when Asia Carrera's friend almost drowns in their swimming pool. We think it's gonna happen, and then - Nope, the painkiller-addicted firefighter has a sexy dream. When in doubt about where the next sex scene is going to show up in your feature porn script, write a sexy dream. Then nothing has to make sense.
Luckily, two heroic firefighters return poolside to cavort with thankful Carrera and Sydnee Steele. Yet a third plot twist about Jenna's possible involvement in a string of arsons threatens to complicate matters, but then more sex happens.
It is a pleasure to watch such an ambitious project, the glamour project of its time,
featuring 1998's A-list porn talent. The dialogue keeps it solidly in the realm of porn movies, but "Flashpoint" is a excellent porn movie.
Now for the extras. "Flashpoint X" comes with three additional DVDs, including all the commentary you would like about this movie, storyboards, and lots of Jenna Jameson. Jameson and Wicked became famous together, so Jenna is all over the extra footage, and Jameson fans probably need no other impetus to purchase this package.
While this was a Wicked movie through and through, co-producing credit goes to Adam & Eve. As they did with Digital Playground's Pirates several years later, Adam & Eve split the bill for this mega-production. Flashpoint is just as good, if not better, than Pirates,and earns extra points for not calling itself "Crackdraft".
(This movie is not yet available with this site's sponsor.)Labels: "asia carrera", classic, jenna jameson, jill kelly, wicked
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Studio: Julie Simone Productions
