Studio: Pink Visual
Director: Various
Cast: Adriana, Josie, Ibisa, Sammie & Lelina, Melissa

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

When one has stacks and stacks of porn movies in an office that smells like stripper-grade melon body spray, and when each movie must compete by means as superficial as a title and a boxcover photo, then it is easy to understand why often esoteric criteria like "context" need to be trucked in in order to review movies that, but for the happenstance of their placement at the top of a pile, might be identical to competing companies' product below them.

That is why I had a small problem with the environment of Pink Visual's Loca Latina Sluts 2. All the company's movies are culled from its Internet projects, so each movie is a compilation. This movie is a compilation of compilations in that each of the scenes is from a different type of movie but that happened to have a Latina in the scene.

So one scene was shot for a MILF website, one was about "lesbians", and another featured the hockey-masked Gang Bang Squad (the latter was disturbing because it seemed like a South of the Border Friday the 13th where Jason got to fuck girls rather than kill them) (come to think of it, wouldn't it have been better had Jason done that instead? He would've gotten that aggression out of his system in half a movie).

The movie also suffers a bit from the Yappy Gonzo Director Syndrome; we don't want to hear how hot you think someone is - if we're not fast-forwarding through the scene we already know. Shut up already.

All that aside, the talent is tasty. The movie opens with Adriana outside a Porn Valley Swap Meet. Originally shot for a MILF project, the scene focuses on Adriana's age (34), her divorcee status, and the fact that she has a seven-year-old son. Can she come back to the studio for awhile before she goes home to fix dinner? Sure. Sex ensues. It's important that it did.

Central-American Ibisa is picked up at the Catalina Ferry dock. She is taken out on a boat on which Shane Diesel is also a passenger. Ibisa was not at her most charming (I hope) that day, but any scene with Diesel is jaw-dropping; his cock is almost as big as mine.

What made me pick this movie was the photo of Josie on the cover. Natural, small-breasted, and juicy, Josie wears a white thong and a black do-rag. The cover picture, alas, is not replicated in the movie. Instead, Josie meets the Gang Bang Squad, which isn't known for its Algonquin Round Table repartee.

"Suck that dick," one masked squadder demands.

"You mean the one that's already in my mouth?" I wish she would have said, in a thought balloon.

Q. Grams, what if Loca Latina Sluts was the only porn movie you had ever seen? Would you still have so many reservations?
A. No. In that case it would have been The Greatest Movie of All Time for the sheer number of Mouthalicious Meowry contained therein. And it's still good - it's just that the hockey masks freak me out. And would it kill them to have at least one crazy lady?

Labels: dvd, latina, pink visual, reviews

Studio: Jazmin Media/Ninnworx
Director: Jazmin Jones
Cast: Stacey Silver, Zoe, Daria Glower, Tarra White, Ashley Robins, Victoria Rose, Sandra, Natalli Di Angelo

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

"At a wine bar near you, six frends gather to share erotic stories."

So begins Jazmin Media's "Kinky Cock-Tales", a couples' film featuring many beautiful Euro models (none of whom is identified) acting out the tales of your wine-besotted friends. As you can imagine, there is a smoky-voiced narratrix who tries mightily to unsexify the proceedings, and she nearly does, finally being thwarted by my mute button.

Allegedly one of Jazmin Media's selling points is the UK-based company's attention to music; husband and wife team Marcus and Jazmin craft scenes according to the music she has written. While the soundtrack does not get in the way, it is not the high point of this movie. Rather, the competent and often*-unsparing camera work more than compensates for the narration and busy post-production effects that take away from the movie while attempting to make it seem "classy".

*Experimenting with split screens, double images, and picture-in-picture effects, the filmmakers forget that the viewer wants to see parts made bigger, not smaller.

My favorite scene was the first one, starring a woman who reminded me of Hope Davis had "Next Stop, Wonderland" not panned out.

The Classics Professor's tale involved two Roman dudes, Julius and Maximus, hanging around the baths. They see a woman emerge from the water and abide by the When in Rome rule.

Other vignettes involve trysts at the gym, a Sapphic encounter, and a last-fling-before-the-wedding liaison that thankfully takes no cues from Screech.

I admit that I was prejudiced against this film immediately upon hearing the phrase "wine bar". That and the NPR food critic narration made me become adept at fast-forwarding. Still, aside from the setups, the fact that there is no real kink involved, and the utter absence of a cock in one scene, "Kinky Cock-Tales" is worthwhile without the sound.

Labels: dvd, euro, jazmin media, ninnworx