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Ghouls Gone Wild
 Studio: VCA
Director: Alec Metro
Cast: Lexi Bardot, Jenaveve Jolie, Kimberly Kane, Eva Angelina, Phylisha Anne, Tomi X.
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Summer's here and it's time to think about ghouls. Why? Because Mr. Larry Flynt sent them to us in a box.
A box, do you get it? THEY CAME IN A BOXXXXXXX.
While this is most assuredly an odd time of year for this Tales from the Crotch-style outing, as long as the weird lighting, spooky music, and Fangoria makeup don't obscure boobies, I don't care if the talent are dressed as reindeer.
Fetish model Tomi X. delivers a sardonic introduction to each scene.
Lexi Bardot starts off the festivities with a stairtop stuffing. We thrill as each thrust brings her closer to falling down the stairs to the camera equipment below as eerie music plays. Her scene partner is uncircumcised and the shots of his face were taken at different times than the shots of his "pop". Scary!
Purple-booted Phyllisha Anne halves her leggedy frame to deliver a blowjob, and is rewarded with a fuck on the hearth that looks painful, even on the highly-polished floor. Scrapy!
Director Metro is big on the flying V blowjobs, because the very next scene similarly starts with one, as presented to Marcos Leon by Eva Angelina. Angelina wears a pair of ghoulish granny glasses. Sight-impaired!
Their scene is pretty tasty, except that it appears to have been shot with one camera. A change in angle, which would be handled easily by two or more cameras so transitions seem fluid, instead result in Angelina screaming with her breasts rocking sideways in one shot and her looking malevolently at Leon and her breasts pistoning vertically three seconds later.
There was either only one camera or that couple can stop and start on a dime. On a lighter note, Leon's "load", as we call it in the afterlife, was copious enought to elicit glee from Angelina, who knows from loads. Supernatural!
After a pleasant if uneventful scene with Jenaveve Joli, Tomi emerges from a cloud of dry ice that must have just been delivered to introduce the last scene, featuring a Missing Persons-coiffed Kimberly Kane giving new meaning to the term "bone orchard". She is so pale that the reult of her graveyard strivings barely shows up on her skin.
Lately VCA is pairing many new movies with bonus "classic" discs, so the Ghouls Gone Wild package contains an extra DVD of horror-tinged porn from the archives.
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Hillary Scott: Cock Star!
 Studio: JM Productions
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Hillary Scott, Ashley Blue, Kimberly Kane, Harley
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Hillary Scott, except for appearing in softcore Cinemax romps, has pretty much covered the gamut of what is available to do in porn, from the high-profile and public relations-intensive Britney Rears (she will be the title character of the third movie, replacing Jessica Sweet, who it is rumored wasn't up to the schedule), to the big-budget Corruption, for which she cried on cue as the helpmeet of Senator Billy, to the singularly-depraved, sweat-streaked, and hole-crammed material of tonight's feature, Cock Star!
It might seem obvious, but one of the winning characteristics of porn actresses for me is that they appear game. The conceit of the Cock Star! series is that the title character is a diva, and Scott's pre-sex meltdown, filmed as she arrives on set, bespectacled and in a cardigan, is very funny.
"How am I supposed to fuck in this?" she screams at her hapless assistant, Matt, demanding he get her new clothes.
JM Productions' stock in-trade, along with that of Chatsworth Pictures, which the company distributes, is a darkly tongue-in-cheek look at the adult industry that more often than not entails sloppy, unpretty, too-much-information sex, delivered by people like Scott, Ashley Blue, Kami Andrews, and Gen Padova with a sense of humor particular to porn; it's a rare person who appears to have the upper hand even when she's being soaked with semen.
Please let the Bartlett's people choose that one, God. Oh please please please.
Scott's first scene is a messy blowjob in which she doesn't seem to be sucking cock as much as she is being bludgeoned with one. As my partner is fond of saying, "She takes it like a champ."
Such vocal and strenuous face-fucking, however, doesn't turn me on. Still, I admire her work ethic.
Scott reveals in very interesting interview segments that her first sexual partner was her step-sister and that men ccould not satisfy her at first because they were not rough enough.
In her next scene Scott, thin as a whippet strung in two shades of pastel lingerie, gets tossed about the bed by two bruisers. Her porn affectations are a little tough to take (see Audacia Ray's lament about what is "real") but in the end she seems to have a very genuine sense of accomplishment in bringing off her two partners, each to a hole.
In her scene with Kimberly Kane filmed in downtown LA, the two go at it with a certain aggressive indifference, knowing that they are performing for an audience tapped out on gentle Sapphic fare. They proceed to beat the hell out of each other.
"It's so alt-porn," Kane says derisively (Kane kinda says everything derisively, God Bless Her).
Scott is put through several paces in this movie and is not afraid that her makeup runs and that she ends up looking well-used. That she can then skip over to a more glossy production and appear sweet, virginal, vulnerable, and coy is a evidence that I'll believe anything.
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Sex City
 Studio: Private
Director: Pierre Woodman
Cast: Xenia Lova, Sonia Carter, Aphrodite Night, Reda Semlahen, Alain Deloin, Vince Willis, Diana Gold, Pascal St. James, Philippe Soine, Divinity Love, Titof, Wildy, James Brossman, Bibi Fox, Kevin Long, Natalia Dinov, Rudboy, Justine Ashley, Frantisek Kubic, Nella, Robert Stangler, Gwen, Lucie Ann, Victoria Rose, Suzanne
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
In this porn-noir takeoff on Sin City, Pierre Woodman recreates New York via matte shots and fills it with impossibly tasty Euro-hotties and fellas who more closely resemble Frank Miller's original vision of tough guys than anyone who can catch screen time in the United States.
At well over two hours, this awkwardly dubbed but beautifully shot feature is the first in a projected three-part series.
This movie is made to watch all the way through. Chapter stops on the DVD skip over whole pages of dialogue and several story lines involving the return of a misunderstood criminal who has "erased a lot of smiles", a contract killer, a police inspector in a coma, a psychopathic son of a Senator, and many more.
With a cast of 25 speaking parts with several dozen more extras, this is a big budget movie with narrative expectations unfamiliar to American audiences (Private is based in Spain and is Europe's biggest porn company). But the stunted, humorless dialogue that isn't a good impersonation of American noir is not the reason to own this movie.
The reason is Sonia Carter, Xenia Love, Aphrodite Night, and the several other Baltic pornstresses who perform without Porn Valley's trademark self-consciousness and air of "I just showed up". It is the difference between a feature and a gonzo, and the difference between an American feature, with its emphasis on stars, and a European one, which pays more attention to its actresses looking like works of art.
The art is in the pretense of no-body fat escorts wearing colorful lingerie in an otherwise grayscale room. The ten sex scenes, like their counterparts in American porn, don't advance the plot, but they look very good.
If there were a version of this movie without dialogue it would be perfect, but as it is Sex City is great fun to watch with the sound off.
In the end, that which was added to this porn movie takes away from it. Still, Sex City is a huge achievement.
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Pearl Necklace
 Studio: Platinum Blue
Director: Skye Blue
Cast: Cassie Courtland, Naudia Nyce, Demi Marx, Lexi Lamour, Nadia Styles, Brittany Starr, Nick Manning
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
"When these slutly little starlets finally get their wish by being brought to new heights in having all their holes filled knowing that the culmination would be a deliciously wet string of pearls."
This is not a Jeopardy! question but part of the liner notes of Platinum Blue's Pearl Necklace.
While this movie is not, as I had hoped, a takeoff on "Girl with a Pearl Earring", there is plenty to satisfy people who like pop culture in their pornography.
The Pearl Necklace is traditionally the act of shooting a ropy volley across your partner's neck. In this movie an actual pearl necklace is used as the jumping off point for ropy volleys to be shot across various locations only to have the real necklace rubbed on them.
See? That's how the filmmakers got around Noam Chomsky.
In a series of prettily-shot scenes, porn stars of the platinum-haired, titan-breasted variety (Brittany Starr) and menacing brunettes like Nadia Styles cavort in attractively-lit bedrooms or prepare themselves for porn studs in lube-y Sapphic shower scenes.
Director Skye Blue has described her style as "Vivid-Lite" and as such the movie seems much more accessible. While the same production values apply, there seems to be less of an effort made in the script department, which is good, because Vivid sometimes falls flat. On the other hand, the budget for Pearl Necklace isn't so high that genuinely dirty girls like Naudia Nyce get priced out.
The throughline extends only to voiceovers and the pearl necklace conceit. The same pearl necklace appears to have been cleaned and used in every scene. That's economy!
"I fantasized about what it would be like to get my own pearl necklace," narrator Starr says. "I pictured the most romantic guy giving his girl the most romantic gift of all."
I'm not complaining, but if that's romance, I'm going to register at Krispy Kreme for my wedding.
Nick Manning, who co-produced this movie, recognizes that he is a very pretty man and that this film is to be marketed speecifically to couples. He can't resist winking at the genre every now and then. In the final scene, in which Starr finally gets her pearl necklace (the movie has been Starr's dream sequence), Manning can't keeep himself from saying, "I hope you get doused."
Manning indeed douses her, and on the neck, too. We have title!
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The Decline of Western Civilization Part 69: The Porno Years
 Studio: Sex Z Pictures
Director: Kurt Lockwood
Cast: Lockwood, Samantha Ryan, Monica Mayhem, Eve Mayfair, Alektra Blue, Venus, Naudia Nyce, Eve Lawrence, Charlie Lane, Alexis Amore, Ron Jeremy
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Interviewer: Back in the 80's there was a big movement in music.
Kurt Lockwood: Yeah.
Interviewer: Now there's a big movement in porn. How do you compare the two?
Kurt Lockwood: I came out to be a rock star. Didn't quite make it. But porn is a good consolation prize. I still get a lot of pussy.
Let's say Oskar Schindler himself took over for Liam Neeson in "Schindler's List", and also directed the movie. That is what "The Decline of Western Civilization Part 69: The Porno Years" is like: a great movie about a fascinating subject (Lockwood), except that this viewer couuldn't shake the uncomfortable knowledge that Lockwood made the movie about himself.
If this movie were a documentary about Lockwood and his exploits commissioned by someone else (like the BBC), or even if it was revealed that Lockwood had paid someone to make a documentary about him, the uncomfortable feeling would go away. As it is, the thrilling feeling that we are watching what Lockwood wants us to know about him pervades the movie.
For example, in the beginning of the film we are treated to a music video of Lockwood's song "Strip". Lyrics are included so the viewer can sing along.
She razzle dazzle
She rock 'n' roller
She superhero
She holy roller It is, unfortunately, clear why Lockwood did not make it as a rock star. That he is fantastic in his consolation prize should be the theme of this movie. Instead, interstitial shots of sex as only a person who has a lot of it can conceive (with women one wants to have sex with again and again), are mixed with just the type of tiresome noodling one expects from the cute guy who thinks it would be a good idea to get a band together.
We watch Monica Mayhem fuck Samantha Ryan with a strap-on while Lockwood, getting his ass eaten by Ryan, jerks off on her stomach.
Who needs the rock music?
The movie is, like the Penelope Spheeris movies it seeks to emulate, all over the place. The high points are the sex and the interview segments, the former no-nonsense, fast, and visually arresting and the latter frank, informative, and competently edited and shot. Attempts at humor by people playing characters ("Reverend Brimstone") fail.
But the simple truths revealed in the movie (Eve Lawrence - who has since left the adult business - : "I'm cute and I'm smart and I make a shitload of money") or Lockwood's observation that it's not the porn stars who are buying porn movies - it's all of us - really make this porn movie into an effective document.
"In the future, there will be no difference between mainstream celebrities and porn stars," Lockwood says after the big orgy at the Roosevelt Hotel, an orgy that in itself should be a How To Have an Orgy movie.
Of course the statement isn't true. As close the worlds of porn and mainstream come to each other, one will never be confused with the other, only compared when it is convenient, like an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. Lockwood really wants to believe otherwise.
 Labels: "SexZ", dvd, reviews
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Teenage Runaways
 Studio: Sex Z Pictures
Director: Daniel Dakota
Cast: Felix Vicious, Keeani Lei, Roxy Jezel, Lexi Love, Ice La Foxx, Victoria Allure, Victoria Sweet, Courtney Simpson, and Sara Jay
Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot
Is a teen a runaway if you kick her out? That was my question for director Daniel Dakota of this film for Sex Z Pictures. Because if my daughter ever felt the need to dress the way these teens do, I would kick her out, after a great deal of shame about my failure as a parent.
Roxy Jezel and Keanni Lei walk up a dusty Porn Valley road. They are in high heels, short shorts, full makeup, and see-through tops without bras. Wherever they are running from, it would have to be close by. They walk into a house and begin playing with the vibrators found conveniently therein, until they are interrupted by the owner of the house, whose bandanna and board shorts didn't convince me that he was the owner.
I was surprised to find that no other movie has been named Teenage Runaways, but of course that isn't true. What, then, distinguishes this movie from the dozen other porn movies called Teenage Runaways? Well, there seems to be a decided lack of bus station menace to scenes, and if any of the teens are worried about being homeless, they seem very brave.
The next scene finds Ice La Foxx and Lexi Love at the same house attempting to steal a car. They are quickly apprehended by a plainclothes police sergeant who interrogates them up the ass. To be fair, he first asks if they are runaways to justify the title.
Victoria Allure and Victoria Sweet, playing actresses on a casting couch in the next scene, don't allude to being runaways once. I guess it's implied.
Felix Vicious and a young man who appears to be a foot shorter than she is are the runaways in the next scene. They find an unused room and ease their homesickness on one another. Vicious is both expressive and tall. Her performance is fun to watch.
By the final scene there is no pretense made about runaways or teens. Courtney Simpson, unable to pay her rent, entreats the police sergeant from earlier in the movie, who is apparently her landlord, to let her service him for the rent. For a police sergeant in Los Angeles to own a house like that implies corruption and graft.
While the two of them are in the middle of their payment, his wife, Sara Jay, walks in. "You've hurt my feelings," she says dully, the red-hot shame of a compromised woman threatening to melt my DVD player. She joins in.
This is a movie which is shot and lit well that features tiny spinners more or less inhabiting the title roles, along with Jay, who is older and more womanly. Is Jay, as the humiliated wife, doomed to later produce a Teenage Runaway of her own?
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Barbed Wire Kiss
 Studio: VCA
Director: Benny Profane (guest director: Yours Truly)
Cast: Caroline Pierce, Veronica Jett, Zak Sabbath, Adrianna Nicole, Amber Rayne, Domenica Leoni, Benny Profane, Tee Real
Benny Profane's Barbed Wire Kiss is the only movie to intersperse points-of-view shots from the grave of an infant with images of therapeutic sex with Caroline Pierce. Profane is played by several people in this pornbiography, including himself as narrator, as he recounts his life to his Tarot card reader (Pierce).
Pierce pops up in this movie like a zaftig, sassy fairy, and she should be given her own talk show. But it is Profane doing most of the talking in this film, and the talkiness, self-revelation, and determination to get a point across hearkens to older pornos, shot on film, vulnerable to shadows, and prone, in retrospect, to charges of oversharing that seem too on the nose in a document in which people take it up the ass.
Freewheelin' Punk Benny, played by Zak Sabbath (nee Smith) in his first and second mass-market porn scenes ever (outside of fleshpot NYU films), is married to Veronica Jett. They fuck on a car (CA license: BDSM). Their marriage goes south, Profane tells Pierce in voiceover, when their two-week-old child dies and Profane's mother dies soon after.
Heady stuff for a title that will be sold next to Ghetto Booty and Ass Fukt 3.
Later Bennys include Marcos Leon as Suave Porn Benny, whose heart is broken by a porn star (Amber Rayne, herself filling in for an Unidentified Alt Starlet), and Tee Real as Black Benny, whose scene with Adrianna Nicole I directed.
Let's talk about that scene. Adrianna Nicole is a saucy, brassy vixen whose like was once painted on airplane noses. I wanted to paint her on my airplane nose, let me tell you. Instead, that job fell to Tee Real.
Their scene, shot outside of various porn conventions (time in one position, time focused on torso, breasts, genitals, etc.) was emblematic of each scene in the movie. People interested in production value will not call Barbed Wire Kiss a well-made film. There are shadows of cameras on the performers, general interest shadows in other places. The sound is spotty. I heard my own voice in the scene I directed.
But is the sex good? Tee Real and Adrianna Nicole smoked a hole in the bed. Sabbath and Jett looked like they had a whole glorious life in front of them. Marcos Leon and the boy-sized Amber Rayne made a delightful drag couple. Caroline Pierce should host her talk show on the nose of my plane.
Ron Royster, who produced this film and Atomic Vixens, scoured MySpace for bands to provide the music for the movies. The soundtrack to BWK is particularly impressive, as is the lighting which, when it is not changing in the middle of the scene, made Jett, Nicole, and Rayne jump off the screen.
Profane himself, as a performer, appears awkward delivering his own lines, which are themselves funny and packed with information. LFP should hire him to be their $100k-a-year publicist, but he shouldn't be a greeter at the casino.
What Profane has made with BWK is a larger-budget version of his DYI Psychocandy movies which make consumers feel like they are masturbating to Benny's friends.
Will LFP/VCA allow Benny to make more movies that are like masturbating to his diary? We'll see how this one sells.
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Reverse Bukkake 2
 Studio: JM Productions
Director: Ashley Blue
Cast: Randy Rodman, Rick Masters, Rod Fontana, and 41 women, including Blue, Kami Andrews, Alana Skye, Celestia, Zora, Annabelle, and Gabriela Banks
"Come on girls: This way," says Ashley Blue as she leads a group of women into a fieldlet in which a man would be drenched in their collective squirtings. "This is my boyfriend; and he's a loser."
Two of the three scenes in JM's Reverse Bukkake 2 involve a woman leaving a man in a huff and the man being squirted upon by multiple women.
In the first scene Randy Rodman's girlfriend storms out, disgusted by his reverse bukkake fantasizing, and he enters the Realm of Dream, in which several women, including a few people I am sure I saw walking the street outside a Sepulveda Blvd. Denny's, take turns squirting on him in a makeshift Terrordome which looks like that Steve Railsback episode of "The X-Files".
Kami Andrews appears to be the ringer in this movie, what with all her own teeth and all, but for Andrews to seem wholesome by comparison takes some doing.
As each woman finishes she leaves, so by the time most of the women have taken their turn hovering above Rodman's face, the room is echoing like an abandoned chapel in a flooded area.
The second scene is the most personally compelling. A man (Rick Masters) would rather smoke pot than have sex with Ashley Blue. He nods off and she leads the same group from Scene One into a woody glade to squirt on him. At least the Sepulveda Ave. girls were out in the sun.
In the final scene, 41 ladies squirt on Rod Fontana on a tennis court. Oddly enough, that sentence was how I mistranslated a passage of "The 12 Caesars" in high school.
While not being at liberty to divulge specifics of the shoot, such as how much each person was paid, I assume that the reason certain scenes seemed to empty out is that the bukkake talent were heading off to the next sequence, stopping to drink gallons of water in between. In a reverse bukkake, the talent rarely need a recoery period.
What is interesting about this movie is that the men are never given any release, other than a good hosing down. How can such an empowering movie for women come from a company branded obscene?
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Studio: VCA
