Studio: HIS DVD/ LFP Video Group (image swiped from Five-Star DVD)
Director: Various
Cast: Hank Hightower, Zak Spears, Jerry Davis, Donnie Russo, Tony Davis, Chad James, Brad Peters, Sal Diego, Morgan Hunter, Steven Brock, Ken Rogers, John Rock, Pierce Daniels, Tico Patterson

This, like all porn movies, only strengthens my commitment to my husband.™

If some of the names from the cast transport you to the heady, heady days of mustachioed, fuzzy-bunned barebackers, that’s because this is a compilation, y’all, and it cuts to the chase - if what you’re after is, you know, mustachioed, fuzzy-bunned barebackers.

Seven scenes, little-to-no set-up, just galloping straight for the clitoris - or whatever, thank you very much. Players, while definitely representative of “Hairy”, don’t always forward the notion of “Hung”; also, those interested should note the complete absence of anything having to do with “barrier methods” or “safe”.

Aside from nostalgia, not much recommends the opener, which apears to be the most dated. A three-way ensues in a shower room with shaggy, nubile comers who mostly serve to remind one that there was sex before porn: organic, in-the-raw, comparatively gentle and earnest sessions in which the language isn’t rehearsed, the bodies aren’t constructed, and the overall effect is a kind of fly-on-the-wall sincerity totally unlike what we mean by today’s Reality TV.

Hottest - and maybe it’s the cop uniform, sure; but maybe it’s because it’s the most recent - is the Hank Hightower/Donnie Russo alleyway pairing. It’s unclear what behavior possible thug Hightower’s being yardarmed for; but he takes cop Russo’s reprimanding right in the jockstrap with nary a complaint. (“Bends right over”, as they would say, yuk yuk yuk.)

The scene featuring a velvet-gloved (I swear to God) T/V at the control panel of Zak Spears’ fantasy (three Daddies comin’ at him straight outta black-and-white - ?!?) gets the vote for “Wow, I’d like to see the whole movie!”

Dudes and others looking for decent scenes featuring hairy guys will find repeated rocks-off opps w/in... those looking for an actual plotted porn vid with current stars need not apply.

Dear LFP/H.I.S.: We rate first-run features over here at Ponante Towers. Yes, even the gay ones. I promise.

xox
Eugenie Brown

Studio: Hustler
Director: David Aaron Clark
Cast: Taya Cruz, Nyomi Zen, Gianna Lynn, Asia, Mila Yung, Nyla Thai, Mr. Marcus, Brian Surewood

As my first visit to a porn set (yes, it's all about me) was Whoriental Sex Academy 4, the appearance of Asian Fever 25 was like the voice of my ancestors across the gently rustling bamboo of my rock (with bamboo) garden.

Here is a sample sequence from Whoriental Sex Academy 4:

BUDDY 1 and BUDDY 2 take a seat at an oriental restaurant/whorehouse.

BUDDY 1:
"I know you've had yellow fever for a long time, bro."

BUDDIES slap five, hoot.

Anyway, I got the feeling from that film that the cast and crew didn't go home and turn the very idea of Asians over and over in their minds.

David Aaron Clark does. He likes Asians the way Mecha-Godzilla likes destroying Tokyo. His films use Asian women fetishistically, and if the women themselves seem nonplussed by the attention they're receiving from the male talent and the camera, one understands that Clark is not presenting a film for them, but to a particularly voyeuristic element of the porn consumer market.

...which reminds me of this Onion article.

In the first scene, we plot Nyla Thai's arrival, by freight elevator, at a well-appointed loft where she is met by Sledge J. Hammer. Hammer circles and appraises the merchandise, whom he has instructed to stand on an ornate trunk. After the lovin', when other films fade to black following the pop shot, Asian Fever 25 follows Thai as she re-dresses and gets back in the elevator.

The same worshipful objectification characterizes each scene, none so much as Taya Cruz' pairing with Brian Surewood. That porn girls tend to be smaller than the general female population and porn guys a little bit bigger than their civilian counterparts is a given, but the male/female pairings in this release are notable because guys like Surewood, who on first glance looks like he'll kick your ass (he won't; he's a pacifist and doesn't need to prove himself) and especially small women like Cruz have scenes that are genuinely sweet.

Props to Clark on the music, too, which doesn't get in the way and is carefully tailored to each scene (this shoould be a no-brainer, but that is too often literally the case in porn soundtracks).

Clark is clearly a fan of his subject and the only mystery is why his Frasier (or Ghost Dog)-like title cards weren't haikus.

If you're into girls from the land of the pentatonic scale and karate, kid, you can successfully wax off to Asian Fever 25.