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Jan 3, 2008
Jack's POV 9 mini-review: Stoya Sandwich
 Studio: Digital PlaygroundDirector: Robby D. Cast: Stoya, Gianna, Carmella Bing, Renae Cruz, Brianna Love, Jerry, The beauty of - or at least the idea behind - a POV title is that, by not showing any identifying characteristic of the male of the couple beyond what is absolutely necessary, the viewer can feel like he is in the driver's seat. And since the girl plays directly to the camera (and you, unless you, like me, are too ashamed to look directly at your screen), the atmosphere is that much more intimate. Perhaps because they realize there will be inevitable camera slips, revealing more of the identity of the stunt cock than they would like, or maybe because they know that viewers might not like to imagine themselves exactly, but themselves better, fucking Stoya and Gianna, Digital Playground does away with the usual anonymity of POV movies right off the bat in Jack's Playground 9; Gianna walks into the room and immediately calls you "Jerry".  What with Amy Fisher's recent reappearance, Gianna suddenly has a little more context, Unabashedly full-figured, Gianna looks like Fisher's extra saucy little cousin. After she delivers her line that she was going to go out with the girls but she decided to stay home comes the following exchange:  JERRY: I was supposed to meet the guys for beer.GIANNA: Why don't you just bring them over?  This little bit of improvisation places Gianna way up there in my personal ranking. Even though newly-minted Digital Playground contract girl Stoya is on the box, Gianna opens this collection with a bang. Director Robby D. might be working within a certain structure, but he exploits its advantages very well, taking advantage of Gianna's big and blowsy nature and letting her take over the scene. One of the highlights is when Gianna nips off to take a bathroom break and you/Jerry are left lying there staring at the bathroom door. She comes back in a minute, but this was a nice nod to reality.Stoya's appearance is a pleasure. Maybe she's always on, or maybe she is just naturally fun, but her scene - she shows up sans panties and interrupts "Jack" while he's cleaning - is free of porn posturing; I thought that she might just be the type to throw a wrench in my rigorous housekeeping by demanding a toss in the sheets. This is the first time I had seen Stoya in action and I was so happy that she was not the train wreck that her "official" Digital Playground bio makes her out to be: About Stoya(TM): Originally from the Carolina's, Stoya is blessed with striking features and a lean, tight body. Completely natural, she stands tall at 5'7" and weighs in at 125 lbs. Her pale skin is accentuated by dark hair and full, pouting lips. With an affliction for pain and suffering, Stoya defines herself only as an android from the future. She loves to make clothes, read good books and play with her cats. Truly unique and intensely passionate, Stoya takes pride in her nudity and general moody perception of the world.Later, Stoya's bio was updated: Stoya™ is original and outrageous. A carefree spirit that loves being the center of attention, she embodies a fun, friendly persona that fits seamlessly with Digital Playground’s esteemed roster of contract stars. With striking dark features and porcelain skin, this tall and slender beauty has the ability to radiate a multitude of looks that can be sophisticated, romantic, sexy and playfully cute.I understand that lots of people don't get porn for free and that companies spend a lot of time and money determining how they can fill the holes in their lineups by appealing to customers they do not yet have. And maybe someone will look at this bio and say, "This is exactly what I need", but I don't like to think so, because that would mean - well, it would mean the clause "an affliction for pain and suffering" didn't make him want to go out and kill someone. What I'm saying is that I like her better than her bio.  Carmella Bing comes next. Completing a perfect sandwich that would include Gianna as the other slice of bread and Stoya as the meat, Bing is similarly gloriously juicy. That the POV format kinda gets turned on its head - and not in a fun way - with shots like this does not take away from the overall effectiveness of this movie. Stoya, Gianna, and Bing: Oh My. Brianna Love and Renae Cruz are also in this movie, but since they do not fit into my unified sandwich theory, this will remain a mini-review. Labels: carmella bing, gianna, minireview, stoya ¶ 1/03/2008 
Comments
:
Stoya's biography is part of the reason that I am engaged in a (so far) one-man campaign for the abolition of the apostrophe; I agree with you that it is an egregious affront, although we may differ on the question of, exactly, to what.
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However, I have to take issue with your leaving Brianna Love and Renae Cruz out of the review because they don't fit your sandwich theory. Science should always be flexible, Grams. It's clear that what you need is a Monte Cristo Sandwich Theory, or even, if it should prove necessary, a Dagwood Theory. After all, as Cosmas Indicopleustes did not say, "only what is beyond the frontiers of knowledge is worth seeking." #
posted by
 P. Weasels
:
10:50 AM
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