 |
"(Porn Valley Observed is) the smartest and funniest coverage of the adult industry you will read." - About.com |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Nov 21, 2006
Screeched
 Studio: Red Light DistrictDirector: Dustin "Dirty Sanchez" Diamond Cast: Screech, with unrelated bonus scenes featuring Tia Tanaka, Rebecca Linares, and Annette Schwartz Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot "Mmmm," says Dustin Diamond, who played "Screech" on the 80's Saturday morning kidcom "Saved by the Bell", "Cheese and cracker plate. I could eat that shit right up." He has released a sex tape. Screech wants us to know he likes cheese and crackers. How good can the video be? That Diamond, whose financial woes drove him first to radio stations selling anti-foreclosure t-shirts, now peddles a sex tape through "1 Night in Paris" purveyors Red Light District, comes across as painfully self-conscious should be a given, but that the video fails to reveal a hidden redeeming talent is the unkindest cut of all. Diamond made this tape after a Wisconsin club appearance when he was invited to join a bachelorette party in their hotel room, so he tells the camera, and the video is part of a series of competing sex tapes released by his friends. He addresses the camera as "Mark" and "Bro". Diamond's entreaties to the two-girl bachelorette party (including "you grew up with me, baby") eventually result in a gradual breakdown of their inhibitions, and it is impressive to hear him talking them down. Remembering, of course, that the "Bride" and "Bridesmaid" were aware of the filming and that they signed a release form is comforting only because you don't want to believe that Screech acted alone in ruining the marriage. Shot in very poor P.O.V. style, Screeched features too many shots of Diamond's face. It is a plus, though, that the banter seems real and that the bachelorette party, getting consistently drunker, appears nevertheless to be doing this of their own volition. The sex isn't good, but a tape one makes for friends isn't really about that, anyway. Before buying this, please ask yourself: "Am I Dustin Diamond's friend?" Screeched contains bonus scenes from pros like Annette Schwartz, Rebecca Linares, and Amy Ried, just in case viewers feel Shaved by the Quality. (We will take "SbtB" castmate Elizabeth Berkeley in "Showgirls" any time. Where's her video, Bro?) 
¶
11/21/2006
 
|
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement This Website fully complies with 18 U.S.C. 2256 and 2257 and the regulations promulgated thereunder. The owners and operators of this Website are secondary producers and are not the primary producer (as defined in 18 U.S.C. 2257) of any of the visual content contained in this Website. All models, actors, actresses and other persons that appear in any visual depiction of actual or simulated sexually explicit conduct appearing or otherwise contained in this Website were over the age of eighteen years at the time of the creation of such depictions. All other pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media displayed on this Website are exempt from the provision of 18 U.S.C. 2257 (a) through (c) and 28 C.F.R. 75 because the pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media: (1) do not consist of depictions of sexually explicit conduct, but are merely depictions of non-sexually explicit nudity, (2) contains only visual depictions of actual sexually explicit conduct made before July 3, 1995, or is produced, manufactured, published, duplicated, reproduced, or reissued before July 3, 1995; (3) contains only visual depictions of simulated sexually explicit conduct; (4) contains some combination of visual depictions described in (2) and (3) above; (5) have been certified by its primary producer to the operators of this Website (as secondary producers) to satisfy the standards under (2) through (4) above. |
