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Aug 19, 2005
  UltraVixens NYC
Studio: VCA
Director: Joe Gallant
Cast: Angel Baby, Tatiana Stone, Heather Pink, Jennifer Steele, Montana Gunn, Nikki Blaze

Carnivorous New York City publicity company/coven UltraVixens aims to sign clients by (ahem) squirting a mind-altering elixir into a cocktail glass. Several scenes of grungy sex with brick shithouse Manhattan tartlets (east coast porn chicks look dangerously careworn in a different, more appealing way than their Porn Valley counterparts) are interrupted by self-conscious editing, superfluous, poorly-delivered dialogue, and a plot that could have been explained in much less time, if any plot was necessary.

It's not that the cast can't act (well, it kind of is), it's that they shouldn't have had to. Gallant squanders the capital he received for guerilla filming in Manhattan (the UltraVixens are seen for five seconds emerging topless onto 8th Avenue and West 46th Street in their Uggs and thongs) by trying to stick his unfinished screenplay in there. And making porn girls read long passages of David Lynch-lite dialogue in your movie isn't really playing to anyone's strengths.

Skip the dialogue scenes and you'll be very happy.
  ¶ 8/19/2005
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