| --Friday, August 01, 2008--
Chubby Twats: An Important Film
 Dear Readers: Not since Transsexual Jerk-offs has there been a porn title that could double as something we might have called each other, devoid of any sexual connotation, in eighth grade.
"What's that transsexual jerk-off doing in my locker?"
"Chubby twat's stealing your Megatron poster, dude." See? Confusing.
 Anyway, I was interested to see if this film featured twats that were themselves chubby (which the title implies), or if the chubby women were all twatty. Lucky for you, they are not. They're just hard-working gals trying to catch a break in an unfair world.
 Like unappreciated housemaid Devyn Devine.
 Or Sunshine, who made me think of this story. While Sunshine does not seem to be a twat, her attitude about her tremendulous breasts is very casual. I have a feeling that she has ceased to walk anywhere in her neighborhood because she feels bad about the traffic accidents that follow in her path.
 Roxie's scene with her therapist is poignant. She is complaining about her husband's negligence.
"What do you think?" she asks in a thick Chicago accent. "Do you think my boobs are too big?"
This is a pretty funny scene. Her uncredited scene partner is an effective straight man, as one must be in the face of such boobs. When the scene takes it inevitable turn toward boundary-crossing behavior, we see why Roxie's husband stopped touching her.
 "What are you doing?" she brays at her therapist, who is just trrying to help. "Get it in there."
The scene is also a study in the Chicagoland dialect. Everyone sounds like a cross between Alix Lakehurst and Elwood Blues.
"Put yer caack in me," Roxie says.
 "It is our first date," says Ava at the end of the night. "Maybe we should slow things down."
Immediately after, she changes tacks.
 "Maybe we should kick it up a notch."
(You know, it is these mixed messages, combined with her revealing outfit, well, you get the picture. I'm just saying. No jury in America. Any man alive. Asking for it, etc.)
 If you are looking for these women now (as I would be), you might be out of luck, as the movie was produced in 2006 our of photoshoots for magazines like "Buxotica." Why I just got sent this film now is the real crime.
This movie is actually called XXX Chubby Twats, but I think that the "XXX" isn't necessary when the "Twats" is present, just like the motto of Wellesley College.
 XXX Chubby Twats
Previously: Say hello to my big friends
See also: Score GroupLabels: alix lakehurst, new porn daily, score, transsexual, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
 
--Wednesday, July 23, 2008--
Say hello to my big friends or: Scoreface
 Like you, I was once 12 and can see the appeal of huge boobs, especially on someone as pleasant-seeming as Devin Taylor, who throws them this way and that in flesh-loving publication Score's Devin Does South Beach.
Taylor often looks like Flower Tucci's agreeable, heavier sister.
 Also like you, I haven't seen South Beach since Scarface, and so was keen to see Tony Montana's old booger sugar stomping ground.
 But Devin doesn't "do" South Beach as much as appear adjacent to it, preferring to squeeze, soap, and wrap her boobs in rented Dade County rooms and pools. I believe they had to use a special camera to capture the blessed event.
 But don't be hard on Devin Taylor for giving South Beach short shrift: she has HUGE BOOBS, after all, and that used to count for something in America. Still, that does not give her the right to spell "masturbate" wrong; it insults the intelligence of today's sophisticated porn consumer.
 Devin Does South Beach
Previously: The Lighter side of the Load, Alix Lakehurst: Riding on the Metro
See also: The Score GroupLabels: boobs, devin taylor, florida, miami, new porn daily, score, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
--Tuesday, June 17, 2008--
The Lighter side of the Load
 Now and then I publish articles by readers. In the following story you will find an interview with BBW Trista Lace by contributor Larry Smathers. Smathers writes for the types of publications you'd read while buying a pack of LifeSavers in the checkout aisle just to shut up your retarded half-brother. Look how Smathers masterfully makes his subject come alive like Art Linkletter, Mindy Cohn, or Soleil-Moon Frye.
Naughty Big Girls Need Love Too
by GramPonante.com special correspondent Larry Smathers
Sitting in the back offices at Red Light District is a Rubenesque beauty who works in the Financing Department for the adult video company. Most of her days are spent cutting checks for the talent who collect the loot for a recent girl-on-girl scene or for participating in a raunchy warehouse gangbang, but the unassuming bookkeeper was surprised as directors who came in to pick-up their checks would also try a quick pickup with her.
“I kept having directors ask me, ‘Would you want to do a scene?’ she giggled. “I can honestly say, I never, ever, thought of having sex on film. It took about two years, but when Mr. Pete approached me about doing the first big girl video for Red Light and added that he wanted me on the cover I said, ‘Why not?’ There were people in my personal life that were just waiting for the day to come when I would do this; I’m a very sexual person in real life.”
 Thus, Trista Lace the porn persona was born, along with a new BBW series titled Heavy Loads. The box tells us her weight is 235 lbs. and the zaftig actress/bookkeeper is certainly not uptight about her size.
“I’m very comfortable with myself, because we all know the average girl isn’t a size 0. When I was getting ready to do this I thought ‘No one is going to watch these movies if they don’t like to watch a big girl having sex’,” referring to Communist countries where dissidents are forced to watch BBW 8-millimeter loops in the gulag.
Trista doesn’t see her recent turn to starlet as a full-time career move, just a bit of naughty fun away from her desk job, but her big talents are becoming more in demand. She has done her second flick for Zero Tolerance, Waist Watchers 3, and has a photo spread with Plumpers magazine in the works.
 As for keeping up her Queen-size appearance Trista plays coy. “I really don’t eat that bad…let me see, chicken salad is my favorite and well, I do love chocolate.”
When pressed a bit harder for her favorite brand of high-end confection -- Godiva or Lindt -- this porn newbie laughs.
“Oh, no, I go for the cheap stuff; just give me a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and I’ll be a happy girl.”
Heavy Loads
Previously: Mz. Buttaworth, will you be our dirtpipe milkshake? (Heavy Loads review on Fleshbot); Hirsch's Heavies heave haunches heavenward; On the road with Alix Lakehurst
See also: Red Light DistrictLabels: "red light district", bbw, interviews, larry smathers, mr. pete, trista lace, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
--Tuesday, March 04, 2008--
On the road with Alix Lakehurst
 "It's a fantasy of mine to be a fantasy of someone else's," said Alix Lakehurst, a Chicago porn actress who is a throwback to a brassier, fleshier time.
Lakehurst makes me think of Gina Gershon, but not because she's little and ropy.
"I took my porn (last) name from the movie theatre I first went down on a guy in," she said.
It was while I was watching Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly in Bound when that first happened to me. I should check to see if there's any porn girl working named Susan Showcase Cinemas Lawrence.
 Lakehurst is busty and Greek in a way that must make people ashamed for knowing, like if your school crossing guard, postal carrier, or waitress was that busty and Mediterranean. She catches people looking at her when she's on the train in Chicago.
"They don't know the half of it," she said.
Lakehurst lives in Wicker Park, a community north of the Loop in Chicago, and when she's not working for boobcentric companies like Score in Florida, Big Top, or Homegrown Video, she is making guerilla porn on public transportation or Amtrak.
It was her flashing video on the train that first made me aware of her, then I met her in Las Vegas at the AVN convention, and recently she sent a DVD of her home videos to fans, in which we are treated to her philosophy on boob oiling ("I moisturize them every day") and see her joining the 20 feet high club in the bathroom of a moving train.
Lakehurst's appeal is not that she looks like a porn star. She started getting naked on camera two years ago and now, at 34 and far away from Porn Valley, she has neither the motivation nor the pressure to look a certain way.
 "I work out and count calories," she said, "but otherwise I'm lame and geeky. And I don't want to be 95 pounds."
As much as she has created a vocal and supportive fan base on her website, We Could Be Naked, Lakehurst's weight does bring out some surprisingly harsh responses from detractors, who want their porn performers to look a certain way.
"What surprises me is that they go to the trouble of logging in and writing things like that," she said.
 Many of Lakehurst's fans compare her to fleshier porn stars of the 80's. One of them, Christy Canyon, became a particular obsession of Lakehurst's, too. A blog and a series of articles for Mr. Skin, The Road to Christy Canyon, detailed Lakehurst's quest to meet her hero, whom she'd first seen in a porn when Lakehurst was 19.
"She changed my life," Lakehurst said. "I thought she was so beautiful."
Lakehurst eventually met and interviewed Canyon on the set of the latter's Playboy Radio show.
Lakehurst is different from other porn stars, too, in that her lack of proximity to America's Great Porn Proving Grounds limit her exhibitionism to her website where, self-directed, her persona is much more vulnerable.
 "It's also because I actually like sex," she said. "I know I'll get tired of it if there's no connection, or if it's like a factory down there. I don't want to be desensitized."
Because of this, Lakehurst has not developed a thick skin, or the killer instinct required to either succeed in mainstream porn or at least to not feel personally slighted.
"I know it's a business about bodies and boobs and asses," she said, "but it's hard to get away from the feeling that when someone doesn't like my ass, they don't like me."
Lakehurst is discouraged with mainstream porn after a recent bad experience with the company Bang Brothers, which she wrote about on her site. "I could win a hip and thigh award but not an ass award," she said.
 This vulnerability makes Lakehurst worth watching, especially in a business where 18-year-olds can develop the thousand-yard-stare pretty quickly.
"When I was younger I drank a lot," she said. "I was unhappy all the time. I liked cocaine. But now I don't. I want to feel more."
Previously: Riding on the Metro; Urban Friction: Sexual Equality in Chicago
See also: Alix LakehurstLabels: alix lakehurst, avn08, chicago, websites, WGL, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
--Monday, March 03, 2008--
Lynn LeMay releases interracial amputee title
 Director Lynn LeMay has released Booty Call, in which three white amputees have sex with some black dudes.
The boxcover features two women whose legs were cut off at the thighs flanking another whose right hand is being devoured by the 20th letter of the alphabet.
"I wanted to leave the audience wanting more, " LeMay did not say, "and I wanted to explore how the media chips away at our images even as it saturates the world with them."
Booty Call, featuring insatiable white chicks and hung black guys, is being taught in Media And Racial Theory classes nationwide.
"Also, amputees allow easier access to the holes market research indicates Americans want," LeMay continued to not say.
Previously: Report: breasts popular
See also: Lemayzing PicturesLabels: lynn lemay, race movies, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
Kiss Attack (but not the Kiss Army)
 Carlos Batts has been making a movie that he calls "The Blade Runner of Porn," Kiss Attack.
 "This is the movie I want to be measured by," he said. "I'm really proud of it."
 Featuring burlesque dancers, luchadores, martial artists, a standup comedian for good measure, and as always, Batts' partner in crime April Flores, Kiss Attack is the not-difficult-to-follow story of the five daughters of Vlad Drakul, each of whom is armed with a lethal lipstick created by Drakul's henchman, Mr. Experiment.
 Experiment's son, VMMX, is twisted with jealousy over the attention his father pays to the ladies, and vows to destroy them with the help of his gang, the Fleshers.
 "I'm not alt," Batts said. "This is a totally new thing."
 Shot in Los Angeles, Kiss Attack also features original music and comic storyboarding in addition to stars Flores, Sasha Gray, Claudia Rossi, Sara Vandella, and Damon Pierce as Mr. Experiment, who totally stole my look.
 Claudia Rossi is Cleopatra. She doesn't look Egyptian, but who does anymore?
 Flores is Ms. Sangre. She is acting circles around her scene partner.
 This is my favorite picture. Cholita makes an excellent hood ornament.
Previously: April Flores: Diva; At home with April Flores and Carlos Batts; Report: Purchases of "Gene Simmons" sex tape limited to people who already find Gene Simmons repugnant
See also: Carlos BattsLabels: april flores, bbw, carlos batts, cholita, claudia rossi, fotos, pinups, sara vandella, sasha grey, WGL, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
--Wednesday, December 05, 2007--
April Flores: Diva
 As you can see, April Flores can hit a high C without using her hands or her voice!
Flores was in Hollywood with her husband, the director Carlos Batts, to promote Voluptuous Life, a sort of Lifestyles of the Abundantly Tasty that chronicles her various curvy exploits in L.A., San Francisco, and New York.
I like Flores because we are both native Spanish speakers with flaming red hair, and because she and Batts prove an exception to the rule of successful, happy couples in porn.
See more pictures after the gap.
 The only time I had visited this studio space on Cole Ave. was my first on the set story after launching my website in 2005. All the sights and smells of the gangbang epic Six in Me came back as I stood drinking open bar liquor on the very spot where Jack Venice and Brian Surewood came on Terri Summers' face. I thought, if I could only have told Surewood and Venice then what we all know now, well, I would have got in the way of what eventually landed on the sweet Dutch Summers.
 Voluptuous Life, produced by Bad Seed, was being hyped along with the soft launch of Adam & Eve's new label, Independent Adult Cinema. Bad Seed is Adam & Eve's gonzo division, said marketing vice president Peter Reynolds, so Voluptuous Life and Joe Gallant's Skin Trade, both of which are not gonzo movies, would have been on the IAC label had it existed this summer.
As it is, IAC's first official release will be a title directed by Joanna Angel, set to coincide with the AVN Expo next month.
 Flores is the type of person people are happy to be around. There were women from all walks of life at the party, porn and non-porn, eager to push their breasts against hers.
 Kimberly Kane, Masuimi Max, and the delightful Cherry of Jumbo's Clown Room (high on the list of phrases I never imagined I would type), all gathered to join their breasts with those of Flores, as if her breasts reflected the bulk buying power of a Costco membership and they all wanted a shot at pallets of Raisinets.
 Adam and Eve, as you can see, is managed by men with trim facial hair and glasses. From left we see executives Wit Maverick, Bob Christian, and Peter Reynolds. These are the people who supply a good deal of the world's pornography; are you surprised they look so urbane?
Voluptuous Life is available now.
Previously: Barely Legal: Generations; Young Hollywood
See also: Fatty D, Carlos Batts, Adam & EveLabels: "adam and eve", "kimberly kane", april flores, asian, bbw, brian surewood, carlos batts, events, jack venice, legal, masuimi max, strippers, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
--Thursday, August 09, 2007--
Hirsch's Heavies heave haunches heavenward
 Vivid is debuting a label featuring women with hips, and the shooting started last week.
"I want to emphasize that it's not BBWs," said director Shailar Cobi, "and it's not fat. It's women with a little extra. This movie is called Heavy Partying."
"So big breasts, big asses, that sort of thing?" I asked.
"Yes, but not big heads," Cobi said. "That's a different niche."
Read more about Heavy Partying after the gap.
 Vivid is Vivid, so it is concerned with how this label will be perceived. Vivid-steve director Eon McKai called me prior to the shoot.
"Shailar emphasizes that it's not BBWs and it's not fat," he said.
"I understand," I said. "That sounds fun."
"And, you know, if you write about it, maybe a woman will write about it, too."
I have heard this sentiment before. Porn has more cachet if arch women with cat's eye glasses grant their imprimaturs to it. It is just one of the many ways men's opinions are devalued in the Amerikan matriarchy. Male performers work harder for less pay, and often their faces aren't even shown. One day the revolution will come.
I asked Cobi what the label would be called, and he has decided on Vivid Plus. He said that it can also feature "guys with big dicks". I don't think it will expand to fat guys. I did have some alternate suggestions, lest the focus groups Vivid hires nixed the idea.
Vivid LUSH
Vivid Zaftig
Vivid Juicy
Baby Got Vivid
Vivid Trunk
Ba DonkaVivid
Vivid Rubenesque
Vivid Morbidly Obese
Vivid Thick
Vivid Increased Risk of Congestive Heart Failure
Vivid Hips
Vivid Curves
Vivid Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil
Vivid Roomy
Silence of the Vivid
Vivid Malt
Vivid Weight
Vivid Gram
Hirsch's Heavies
The premise of the movie was that a bunch of women got together for a bachelorette party in a house in Woodland Hills ("because heavier girls hang out with each other," Cobi noted). I was introduced to Ms. Panther, who was washing her car in a thong. She shook my hand and I felt her long fingernails.
I attempted to communicate with her in the cat language we share.
"Meowrr, Ms. Panther," I said. "Meowrr."
She stared at me blankly.
"Kitty is pensive," I observed.
 Porn veteran Van Damage was there, playing a cop. A police car was rented for $400, and a cop uniform was rented from Jack Lawrence. In fact, Lawrence's nametag appears on the uniform in the movie. Damage sat behind Cobi and offered advice to the younger dude servicing Ms. Panther.
"He needs to have his pants down more."
It was about 95 degrees out, and I wondered about the performers bursting into flame in the sun. I asked Damage what was the worst injury he had ever received on set.
"I was getting a blowjob from Gia Paloma - "
"YEAH!" I interrupted, attempting to high five him. "WHOO!"
" - and another guy, this new guy, was fucking her from behind - "
"Wait," I interrupted. "From behind you or from behind her?"
"Just let me finish. From behind her. So you know how Gia really goes down on you with that noise?"
"YEAH! WHOO!"
"This guy is fucking her and he grabs her head, and I knew a split second before something bad was going to happen. She shaved off about an inch of skin with her top teeth. It was brutal.
"They'd filmed enough of the scene so that I could do a pop on her face, but under pressure. I didn't feel right for a few days after that."
Damage couldn't remember the new guy's name. It sounded like he was trying to jerk off Van with Gia's face.
"Bright red blood," Damage concluded.
 Abby Brooks had shot her first Boy/Girl scene the day before. She seemed unfazed. "Well, I have done it in my private life," she admitted.
Also in the cast were Carmella Bing and April MacKenzie, who played ripped-from-the-headlines lawbreakers who get out of a ticket by servicing the Law. This happens across Southern California. It's why DMV lines are shorter here.
Because I, like Optimus Prime, am large, I applaud the appearance of a line featuring larger women, even though I never considered Carmella Bing large; I have only considered her important to our national well-being. I also wondered what kind of world it would be in which Amber Peach and Ms. Panther were at the same bachelorette party.
Regardless, I think it is a good thing, this Vivid Plus, even if no woman has written about it.
I did not know that Vivid is also launching other labels, including Vivid Celeb, which will cater to the regrettable celebrity sex tape market, and Vivid HA, a comedy label under which Stood Up was released. There are no plans for Vivid Decepticon, featuring machines that turn into women.
Eon McKai posted a PG-13 version of the poolside orgy here.
View the gallery here.
Previously: The scales of horror; Vivid's imprint-o-rama; Is the feature dead?; The Famous vagina of Amber Peach
See also: VividLabels: "set visits", abby brooks, amber peach, carmella bing, eon mckai, vivid, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
at
|
|
|
While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
 |
| |
