| --Tuesday, May 06, 2008--
Seis de Mayo: Shame and redemption
 The first thing one thinks when confronted with Wicked's new Latina Hollywood Hookers is, "Well Duh. You think there's Latina hookers in Glendale? It would be a step up to have Latina hookers in Glendale."
On that subject: Irvine Robbins R.I.P., whose first ice cream store was in Glendale. Mourn ya 'til I join ya (pours Friendly's Fribble on grave).
After the triumph of Cinco de Mayo we are faced with harsh realities: some Latinas turn to prostitution. Luckily the "hookers" of the title are not streetwalkers but classy call girls with phone numbers, credit at a florist, and their own couches.
Demi Delia is the head of this escort agency but, striving to stay close to her roots, also sees select clients. One is Ben English.
 In the first scene, English and Delia offer a valuable service to consumers, providing an example of the small talk and protocol characteristic of a session with an escort: he places the money on the table, she pretends to have missed him since the last time, and then they get down to it.
The only inaccuracy was that they kissed each other. That Wicked requires condoms made for more authenticity. If a hooker does not require a condom, you should run (unless you are only there to strangle her, in which case you should reconsider and go to Baskin Robbins).
 The second scene is even more authentic in its awkwardness. Tommy Gunn forgets to pay Sienna West until she prompts him with something legally innocuous, just in case he is a cop:
"Do you want to take care of business?"
Sienna West utters not one "Ay, Papi" throughout the scene, but she does imply she is a Latina by asking, "So do you like to fuck Latinas?"
 Daisy is a massage therapist in the next scene, and Randy Spears tells her that her "money is over there."
 Nick Manning plays a serial whoremonger in his scene with Cassandra Cruz. She asks if he has seen women from the agency before.
"All of them," he says. "And none of them can keep up with me."
 Finally, Alex Sanders and Dick Delaware sign on for Maya Gates. "You know it will cost you a little more?" asks Delia in the phone interview.
I found this scene the most verdad of all of them. The conversation was stilted and Cruz knew very little English. In fact, it was less like a porn scene and more like a hard-hitting HBO documentary, with poignant human drama everywhere you looked.
 One bit of dialogue I would have liked to see was:
"You sure you're not a cop?"
"You sure you're not Armenian?"
Wicked has done a great public service in releasing this prostitute primer. Still, I can't help thinking that if these women had been white, they would have been called "escorts."
Previously: Hookers And Blow
See also: WickedLabels: daisy marie, demi delia, latin, minireview, new porn daily, Nick Manning, prosties, randy spears, Tommy Gunn, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, January 07, 2008--
Where's Stormy?
 This is the banner hanging above the entrance to the Adult Entertainment Expo, showing just three of Wicked's contract girls.
Maybe Kisten Price and Stormy Daniels are in the car? Maybe Juli Ashton is taking the picture?
See also: Wicked Pictures, AVN ExpoLabels: "contract girls", avn08, carmen hart, jessica drake, juli ashton, kaylani lei, kirsten price, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, September 20, 2007--
Operation Desert Stormy party art
 Wicked Pictures threw a party for the new Stormy Daniels movie Operation Desert Stormy last night at the House of Blues that was characterized by scarcity and excess. For example, the event had a generous three-hour open bar but parking cost .50 for every foot away from where I stood that the valet parked my car. And while porn is a gloriously visual medium, I was not allowed to bring my camera.
Here, then, are artistic renderings of some of the more memorable events, starting with the screening room in which adults not accustomed to watching porn together viewed the movie all the way through.
See more art after the gap.
 I spoke with Gia Paloma, who tried to reduce my natural affection for her to wanting to be in her. Is that all you think you are to me? I sobbed. I can think of so many other prepositions in addition to in, such as atop, aboard, and amid. Deliciously amid.
 I also met the charming Roxy DeVille, who had a refreshing list of things she wouldn't do in porn. "Also, no spitting in my mouth," she said. I don't even spit in my own mouth.
 Tommy Gunn showed up with a new haircut. "I'm thinking of reinventing myself," he said. Gunn is a cool dude. It seems like assholes should be the ones reinventing themselves. I want to go up to some asshole and say, "Go reinvent yourself, you asshole. Don't make good people do it."
I noted that the IAFD thought this week was Gunn's birthday, but at least they took seven years off the total.
 Evan Stone made a big deal of Ron Jeremy being there. I feel my rendering of Jeremy is my greatest achievement. Signed prints of all of this art will be available when I self-publish my book.
 As a hardy man of purpose, my biggest gripe with Los Angeles is having to pay a ridiculous (to me) amount of money to have some working-for-tips shmoe park my car within feet of where I'm standing. Unlike going to a sushi restaurant and paying to eat food I can't prepare myself or going to a bar to buy drinks in glasses that light up, I have the ability and means to park my own car. Still, I tipped the poor slob three bucks to back my car thirty feet. Least he could have done was wash it.
Still: free drinks!
Wicked has, without a doubt, delivered the best packaging of its tentpole movies in anticipation of this month's AVN nomination deadline. Read the review of its other contender in the drama category, Brad Armstrong's Coming Home, here.
Previously: Stormy, but everything will be fine (on the set of Operation Desert Stormy)
See also: Wicked Pictures Labels: "stormy daniels", Evan Stone, events, gia paloma, interviews, ron jeremy, roxy deville, Tommy Gunn, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, August 09, 2007--
Back(draft) to Flashpoint
 Nothing pornographic, just Jenna Jameson, circa 1998.
I suppose the only reason Wicked had to release a tenth anniversary edition of Flashpoint a year early was that it just couldn't wait. I forget if there is an AVN award for Best Packaging, but if there is, this four-disc set should get it.
The prestige porn of its time is as good or better than any similarly-scaled contemporary movie. And don't forget that Flashpoint boasts the talents of Jameson, Jill Kelly, and Asia Carrera at their full juiciness. There are other surprises, too.
Read more after the gap.
 There's AVN writer Mike Albo as a priest. Looking very Michael Chiklis-like in his pre-millennial hairlessness, Albo delivers the Lord's Prayer like the hellhounds are on his trail. The only downside of this movie is that the acting and dialogue are otherwise uniformly porny. I expected more from such a huge budget, but everything else is great.
 The only AVN award Flashpoint received when it was released was for Marketing, yet Wicked and online retailer AdultDVDEmpire claim it to be a consistently strong seller for the company, hence the discontinuance of the original and its replacement by the deluxe version.
Read the review here.
See also: Wicked
Labels: asia carrera, avn, dvd, hype, jenna jameson, trademags, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, July 27, 2007--
jessica drake will blow you dry
 I have been pleading with Wicked Pictures to make a porn version of Davey And Goliath but they chose the Old Testament story of Samson and Delilah instead.
jessica drake plays an unhinged and lowdown hairdresser whose fatal attraction to Samson (Herschel Savage), results in blue-tinted condom sex and cross-Testament plot points in Michael Raven's Delilah.
A reading from the review, here.
Previously: 2007 AVN wrap-up; Wicked good hors d'ouevres
See also: Wicked Pictures, Davey And GoliathLabels: dvd, herschel savage, jessica drake, reviews, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, June 15, 2007--
Gusano Negro en el Valle de Porn, con un desvío al Jimmyland
 I rarely watch porn movies cover to cover but this week I watched three (almost four) of them. I didn't intend for it to be this way, but I'm glad it happened.
Modern Progressive
Wicked's Porn Valley (doubtless seeking the red-hot branding association my site provides) was a well-made, solid, entertaining, and efficient porn movie. It didn't pretend to be anything other than a sex movie with a story, and director Michael Raven delivered a title that both respected and rewarded the audience.
The Good Old Days Weren't Always Good
VCA's Jim Holliday Box Set (of which I struggled through Brown Eyed Blondes and Absolutely Adorable) made me feel awful. I feel like I've committed a sacrilege for not bowing at Holliday's (deceased) feet, because his genius casting of large combinations of bright, bouncy babes who smiled at the camera should have been enough. The adult industry mourns his absence (he died in 2004).
But his movies continually squander that goodwill, as they are not only filled with self-important and masturbatory dialogue but also (and worse) require that the words be uttered by people who for the most part cannot act. While Holliday surely loved his "Angels", he didn't want them to appear smart, or at the very least smarter than him.
If anyone can recommend a Jim Holliday movie that just showcased his talent as Porn Valley's best casting director, or that had a script that was coherent and didn't prove an obstacle to his hand-picked cast, I'd love to see it. I don't like speaking ill of the dead.
The full text of the Jim Holliday Box Set review will be in next month's XBizVideo in my column with Joanne Cachapero.
I've Seen the Future, Brother: It Is Murder
Finally, Pulpo Inc.'s first feature, Black Worm, is an ambitious project that is heavy on the Mexican crime drama with a touch of surrealism. I'm told the movie cost $150k and the production value shows. But the script is too long and the distance between sex scenes is often unforgivable.
I have no doubt these guys will do better next time, because they hit a solid double their first time at bat, with a chance at third.
Previously: Holliday at the Car Wash; Eye Candy redux; The Visitors
See also: Thoughtful Reviews by GramLabels: dvd, jim holliday, lorena sanchez, michael raven, pulpo, reviews, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, May 22, 2007--
Durex: For when you have to wear a condom
 As I travel the highways and byways of the land in my recreational vehicle, one thing I don't discuss with other patrons of trucker bars, detention camps, and yoga retreats is whether or not the guys wear condoms. I don't discuss it because I already know the answer (that is why I will never be a lawyer): men hate wearing condoms.
Lifestyles condoms seem to be the ones most often passed out for free, and I have never worn one that hasn't broken. At one point I concluded that Lifestyles must be a front for the conservative Heritage Foundation. I switched to a type of Trojan because they seemed as American as Zippo lighters and Coca Cola. But just because they fit and didn't break didn't make it any more pleasant.
But when I was Wicked and Vivid's highest paid contract star* I needed to comply with their condom-only standard. That is why, when I visited Wicked's Reflexions set the other day, I was surprised to hear Tyler Knight praising Durex condoms in his pairing with the tasty Delilah Strong.
 "I can really feel her (through it)," he said.
For someone who feels wearing condoms is as distasteful as getting dressed up for church, I found this to be a ringing endorsement.
"You should do a commercial for Durex," I suggested.
"Do you know me?" Knight began his pitch. "I am the the pornographic actor Tyler Knight..."
Reflexions stars Wicked contract star Julia Ann, but I was not able to stay for her appearance. I get the feeling that the Delilah Strong/Tyler Knight pairing, taking place as it did in a room filled with smoke, might have been somewhat outside of the story arc, which is described thusly:
In this stylistic yet edgy vignette, Julia Ann is an object of desire in which her reflection depicts her true sexual being. ...like a breastacular Portrait of Dorian Gray. I don't know why a movie's "stylistic" nature might prevent it from also being "edgy", or why stylistic was used instead of stylish, but that is why I don't write press releases.
 What I learned is that Delilah Strong emerges from the mist like a leggy Isle of Avalon and that some condoms can be comfortable. I don't know how I might apply that knowledge in my life, but it's still good to know.
See the gallery here.
Previously: Dreaming of Snow; East Side Story gets its priorities in order; Whither Shane's World?
See also: Wicked, DurexLabels: delilah strong, tyler knight, WGL, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 20, 2007--
Stormy - but everything will be fine - on Operation Desert Stormy
 I am on the set of Wicked's Operation Desert Stormy, which will be shot over ten days. Today is the first day, and it is raining; probably the hardest rainfall L.A. has received all year. Cars are stopped on the 405, a bridge in my neighborhood is out. Altogether, we got maybe an inch of rain. People are terrified here.
The problem is that it's also cold, and there is an outdoor luau scene taking place after lunch. The rain will stop by the afternoon, but it will still be nippy.
Stormy Daniels is directing from a 79-page script she wrote in Final Draft. It would be unfair to say that her past two years of Hollywood experience have alone taught her to format scripts in a standardized way and binderclip them, because she always did it this way.
 I am on the set of Wicked's Operation Desert Stormy. This is couples porn at a different level. The set is calm and organized, the atmosphere is light. There is free Wi-Fi. I'm in one of two porn McMansions situated across the street from each other in Woodland Hills. The last time I was in this neighborhood was for a Pussy Party, which was also pleasant.
Operation Desert Stormy is a cross between Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Get Smart. Steven St. Croix plays Brad Pitt and Don Adams. Porn actors achieve longevity if they have a sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously. St. Croix on screen is hilarious. There is a scene where Stormy flushes the toilet while he is in the shower. You could hear his shriek through the house.
 Wicked director Jonathan Morgan is facillitating the scenes Stormy is in. He has a problem with Stormy's look for the couple's toothbrushing scene.
"You just woke up; can you look a little more disheveled?" he asks.
"Yeah," she says, and disappears for 20 minutes. It takes her that long to look moderately disheveled. I can go from zero to disheveled in .04 seconds.
Wicked shoots about five of these multi-day, large budget movies a year. This one finishes filming in mid-May and editing will be done by summer, just in time for AVN Awards consideration (deadline for consideration is usually the end of September). Last year's Corruption finished post-production in August. Adam & Eve's Eden is filming in Maui now. This time of year is lousy with porn money.
 A two-person team cooks an elaborate lunch. I think this is the first time the kitchen has been used for this; these two kitty-korner houses are used exclusively for film shoots, and it's only the guest house in the back that people live in. The rest is just porn. If a tunnel could be bored underneath Burbank Blvd between the two locations, the only contact required with the outside world would be a regular babywipes and Red Vines run to Costco.
 At 4 p.m., it still looks cold. A luau doesn't look possible. "It'll be my first make-up day!" Stormy says. She nobly resists the temptation to direct from the back seat. She keeps almost saying "Action" when she's ready to begin.
Morgan directed St. Croix and Daniels in a softcore scene. "If I see even one genital, Steven, you're dead."
"I am putting my genitals away," St. Croix said.
 With several more days to go and a luau that needs to be rescheduled, the mood is still much lighter than most sets I've visited recently. I think it is because Steven St. Croix is from Maine. Either that or everybody is good at his/her job.
UPDATE 4/21: Stormy was able to get the luau. It was 54 degrees last night. One word: nipples.
Previously: Wicked Girls unaware of crimes; All about All About Anna; Stormy Daniels does something
See also: Wicked PicturesLabels: "set visits", "stormy daniels", 818locations, WGL, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, March 08, 2007--
Wicked Girls unaware of crimes
 I have seen this picture hundreds of times, but I haven't truly looked at it until now, hip as I have become to the suffering of others.
Only Kirsten Price seems to know or care that Kaylani is copping a feel off Carmen Hart. But will she do anything about it?
UPDATE: KAYLANI LEI SHOCKER!!
"None of us were in the same room," she said.
Previously: All About All About Anna; Wicked decides on HD-DVD
See also: Wicked PicturesLabels: fotos, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, January 19, 2007--
North by Julia Ann
 The problem with Northern California is not that there isn't porn happening there, it's just that the porn has so much baggage. You really have to think about it. Here in Porn Valley, I can indulge my Buddha nature by not thinking at all about the politics of the person blowing me.
Beloved pornstress Julia Ann seeks to bring a little of our Valley north this evening as she hosts the release party for her movie Julia Ann: Hardcore at San Jose's Studio 8 night club. It is the second party of her promo tour for this movie.
You know the evening is going to be swanky because the press release says it twice. Another word that always convinces people otherwise is "classy".
Tonight's event will feature go-go dancers, Wicked Pictures product giveaways, and Julia Ann herself. And probably some wine. Those people tend to like wine.
Previously: Julia Ann to host fete wearing those beads
See also: Wicked Pictures, Julia Ann
Labels: events, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, January 09, 2007--
All About All About Anna
 I sat on this review for a while because this 2005 Swedish quasi-porn movie (where the lack of reality comes from the story rather than the sex) had yet to be released in the United States, though it is on Wicked's slate for distribution this Spring.
But All About Anna will be screened by the University of Chicago's Doc Films Society, the oldest student-run film group in the United States, along with several other pieces of pornography that make you think.
Will Dirtpipe Milkshakes 2 be included? No. For they are intellectual cowards.
It is possible to actually see the pleasure being sucked out of a room when one watches a blowjob on film with a bunch of academics.
If you are in Chicago visiting Hillary Scott's family, you can view All About Anna on January 18.
Read the review here.
Previously: Gry Bay Gry: Make your mother sigh
See also: Doc Films, All About Anna on MySpaceLabels: dvds, reviews, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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