I was stuck in an airport recently with nothing but a dial-up connection and a flimsy bathrobe (don't ask), and updated the following areas of GramPonante.com, which have been dormant for so long you probably ceased to hope they would be restored:

• Galleries: Just about everything I've taken a picture of in the past year is up there.
• Links: Did you ask me to be a link partner in 2005? Check to see if I remembered! You can also find sponsor links, advertising info, and helpful porn world resources.
• Reviews: GramPonante.com is the only site that reviews porn movies contextually, the way the Voyager spacecraft would review porn.
• Advertising: Want to advertise with America's Beloved (and its most read) Porn Journalist? Click here. Don't want to? Click here.

There are still areas that need work, however, and I beg your continued indulgence whilst I work on them. Maybe the axed interns over at AVN and Adam Film World can help?

I also found that the top keywords bringing unsuspecting visitors to this site this month have been:

1. jean jacobs pornography
2. nasty america porn
3. porn
4. paul thomas director vivid pictures
5. sophia santi tattoo
6. holly west savanah gold watching my wife
7. jenny hendrix

That "porn" is #3 behind "nasty america porn" surprises me, but my faith in the Interweb is restored since it seems to know that Jenny Hendrix is my wife and that Holly West and Savan(n)ah Gold are watching her.

As always, thank you for your continued support.

Previously: Gram Ponante sold to Playboy; Icon to explain dildos

Labels: "paul thomas", holly west, jean jacobs, jean laconia, jenny hendrix, savannah gold, sophia santi, website

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, August 20, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

As you know, I write about prostitutes as often as I can and this MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant will allow.

But I am sick of searching Google for images of "prostitutes" when I know so many of my close personal friends list that occupation on their tax returns.

So I am looking for the Official GramPonante.com Prostitute whose image can grace every 2008 post about prostitution. The requirements are as follows:

1. The prostitute must be female and over the age of eighteen
2. The image must be a full shot of the subject in one of the 23-U.N.-sanctioned "hooker poses," including self ass-slapping, alley-leaning, bending to vehicle window, and showing up at hotel room door and saying "Hey, Sweetie."
3. A little nudity is OK, even encouraged
4. The photo(s) must be submitted by the subject herself
5. The subject need not be a prostitute currently but must make a convincing case for it

The Official GramPonante.com Prostitute will receive a text link to her website each time her image is used, as well as universal admiration.

Labels: contest, prosties, website

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, January 29, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

A company is trying to sell me on embedding a Flash player in my site that will show quick video "teases" to draw in customers.

Prior to logging in the user will see short 7 second video clips for 60 seconds. Then they need to log in and have minutes in their account so they can then watch hardcore clips. A great tease, but not enough so your users use it for free to get off.

Oh I doubt that. My readers are goal-oriented.

Labels: boobs, technology, website

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 03, 2007 | 3 Comments Links to this post

Before I started working in porn I could not name a single porn star if you showed one to me. Not even Ron Jeremy. I could have told you that someone looked like he or she might be a porn performer, but I couldn't supply a name.

Later, I would be surprised to find that the porn world had thousands of people working in it rather than the dozen or so people I felt were pretty interchangeable (before I began to live among them and learn their ancient ways).

And when I stumbled on some BBS porn site a few years ago and looked through it, each unnamed picture more about the parts than the person they were on, I felt like I did when I recently visited Asian And Hot, a paysite featuring hundreds of galleries of American Asians and Asian Asians.

Read more after the gap.




Visitors to the site will get most of the goods right away, meaning there are thousands of high-res photos already available of a pan-Asian cross-section, from skinny Thai girls to well-fed Japanese, and skinny Japanese girls to well-fed Thais, depending on how boyish you like them.

I asked a monk at my Buddhist temple what the site's Asiatic typography meant and, displaying an uncharacteristic nihilism, he replied, "They mean nothing."


A side deal with Hustler will deliver footage from that companys's Asian Fever series, but that part of the website, and a few others, like XXX Stories as of this writing, are not yet available.


(This is either a dildo or there is something grisly beneath that mattress.)

Still, hidden in the galleries are anonymous hot Asian girls as well as names Orientophiles will recognize, like Lucy Lee, Lucy Thai, Evelynn Linn, Annie Cruz, Bamboo, Kaiya Lynn, Loni, Mika Tan, Miko Sinz, Kaya Lynn, Ange Venus, Charmane Star, Giselle Yum, Katsumi, Kianna, Kayla Carrera, Mya Luanna, Nautica, Thi Michelle, and Tomo Paradise.



I did not see any women that were named (until I downloaded photos and saw that these women were named Emik, Dow, Belle, and Arielle, respectively) however, and this made looking at Asian And Hot the same kind of anonymous experience most people have with porn, which was fun.

Readers of Porn Valley Observed can get discount memberships to Asian And Hot for a limited time by clicking here.

Previously: No Man's Land: White Man's Burden; Striking while the iron is hot; Chasey Reloaded
See also: Asian And Hot

Labels: asian, fotos, website

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 01, 2007 | 3 Comments Links to this post

I took a quick vacation to oversee the growth of my empire.

Thank you for your kind words.

I will be back at work on Monday.

Labels: website

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, September 07, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

In that he ceased publishing his sex-tourist blog last November, the Londoner traveling abroad known as Morally Diminished has a site full of quaint depravity. It is like reading "Heart of Darkness" except with Thai hookers, katooeys, and other strangers instead of the Congo.

Read more after the gap.

Spent all day smoking fat jays in my hot sunny pool (after five Weetabix), watched Waiting (I fucking loved the Bat-Wing manoeuvre). After-dark ventured outdoors and soon returned with one of the hottest chicks I've EVER been with- a honey-skinned 22 year-old angel from Sukhothai. Drank a bottle of Moet together then, after chowing down on her sweet shaven box for a delicious tounge-cramping forty minutes, fucked like nasty-pigs for a few hours before sleeping soundly in each others arms (*puke*). I even still liked the little minx after I'd shot my load.

I mean, read this, a post titled "Things I Need":

Ten nine eight seven six more properties inc. East-Village Manhattan loft, canal-side Keizersgracht Amsterdam townhouse, gothic Hampshire castle with privet-hedge maze, cherry orchard, dungeon, helicopter on the roof, and snipers on the roof of the next building to make sure no-one steals my helicopter, packs of fast dogs and wild-cats, red-tiled pool, Pinoy gangster lair, paedo pad in Tokyo, brothel in Rio, retreat in Costa Rica, fuck-farm in Fiji, new old-Levis, Air-Max, more RAM, royal Nepalese temple ball, The Greenhouse's Arjan's Ultra Haze, Barney's Breakfast Bar's G13 Haze (plus all of these), Fabrique Nationale de Herstal's Five-seveN, "sticky shockers", Beluga, Ossetra, Sevruga, thallium sulphate, polonium-210, handmade Nickolas Buckalew skull-bong, GHB, ketamine, alprazolam, Klaxons tunes, to watch sally from Black People Love Us as a victim of The Gangbang Squad (while Johnny watches, perhaps taking a dark-sword in the shitter himself), that mega-shy phone girl from the latest True-Move ad, aLeda cellulose papers, Doctor Theodor Gilbert Morell magic prescription pad, and fortnightly "six-hole" threesomes with Am Patcharapa and May Pittanahd (minus disapproving Kantana chaperone), and so on...

People tend to think of all sex tourism as the act of traveling to other countries for the purpose of preying on minors. That is not always so. Sometimes it is preying on prostitutes, other hotel guests, or on people as fascinated with your skin color and income level as you are with theirs.

I found Morally Diminished entertaining and compelling truth in advertising.

Can't be sure whether she's always like this or whether it was her one-night-stand guilt combined with her recreational pharmaceutical consumption (something called Five-Fives that she buys in Singapore, no idea of trade-name). She was very turned on that she was being fucked and abused by a total stranger and, as I refused to tell her my name, and as had forgotten her's by this afternoon, we swapped phone numbers both using the name "stranger".

Previously: Leg Sex Flirts; Run for the Border 3
See also: Morally Diminished (courtesy Rollertrain's excellent site about the triumphs and perils of working for a North Carolina-based porn company)

Labels: "sex tourism", asian, found, website

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, August 17, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

AVN has relaunched its website and the result is impressive.

Graphically, the site is less busy than it was before, and videos do not play automatically, which was a problem with the old design. A headline refreshes every few seconds accompanied by a larger, tabloid-style picture.

Without appearing like a gossip blog or a news aggregator, AVN balances what actual news there is in the adult business with arresting images. Read more after the gap.

"Let's face it," said Loup Perch-Tounge of Porn watchdog the Chatsworth Creampie Collective, "You can't make 'Boy Butter Posts Video to Youtube' look like news, so why pretend? The new site is eye-catching."

After years of delays, AVN has stepped up its design and looks competitive again.

The surprise redesign, coming a month after the relaunch of XBiz and 90 days after the groundbreaking and paradigm-shattering reimagining of GramPonante.com, has adult industry pundits pleasantly surprised.

"I had such low expectations that this is really a treat," said Turgid Video's Mango Ratpen who, like most members of the adult industry, reads AVN for mentions of his name. "It reminds me of the positive feeling I had when I watched 'Transformers' to get out of the rain and ended up enjoying it."

The redesign features a nostalgic Web 1.5 podcast by Paul Fishbein and even an Adultcon ad, heralding the industry giant's willingness to acknowledge its competition gracefully.

Previously: Gram Ponaante launches iLick; Erotica L.A. cancelled; XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, sperm
See also: AVN

Labels: avn, trademags, website

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, August 13, 2007 | 4 Comments Links to this post

"I was really broke, and I wanted to do something I could at 23 that I couldn't do if I was really broke at 43," said Jenny, a first-time model for Richard Kern.

Jenny is not aware that someone will always be there to buy nude pictures, no matter what age one is.

Throughout this compelling interview on VBS.tv, Kern is referred to as "Kern". I wish my last name was pronounceable.

Previously: Asian hookers treat David Aaron Clark most shabbily; Playboy releases Asians clutching at underwear line; Cock Asian
See also: Jenny on "Shot by Kern"

Labels: asian, fotos, interviews, richard kern, website

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, August 06, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I went to college with a guy named Brian and a woman named Jennifer (as did many of us). One day, Brian came into our dorm's common room, prior to the television being tossed out the window, and said:

"Jen's got nips that are two and a half inches out."

Read more about my confusion at this statement and how it turns out Vicky Vette wasn't in my Economics class, one click away.

In the older porn performer world, few hold a candle to Vicky Vette, who this week announced she has two-and-a-half inch nipples. Unfortunately what Vette calls nipples are actually her areolae, the pigmented areas surrounding her nipples.

Vicky supplies a picture of her areola against a Stanley measuring tape. I hate to school porn stars on aspects of their own anatomies, but Hey, I'm a Latin fan.

Now Havana Ginger - that chick's areolae must be about three feet in diameter.

When I read Vette's claim of such huge nipples I naturally assumed that yet another person from my numerous almae matres had taken up a porn career. Oh well.

Anyway, when Brian came into our common area I thought he was talking about Jennifer's ethnicity, which happened to be Japanese, because why say "nip" when "nipple" is just one syllable more?

I later saw Jennifer's nips myself (after she'd washed Brian off them) and they were totally 2.5" perpendicular to her body. In fact, they were perpendictastic. I measured them with a ruler I'd had since second grade and, with a little work, we got the left one out to 2 and 7/8". I should've taken pictures, but I wasn't that kind of person then.

Anyway, Vicky Vette, her areolae, and every other glorious part of her will be appearing tonight at SexCamCentral and Wednesday with Lisa Sparxxx in a special "Presidential Boob Debate".

Don't worry, Vicky, I'm sure Sen. Sam Brownback couldn't point out an areola, either.

Previously: Recovering Vette; No Morals!
See also: Vicky Vette, The difference between an areola and an aureola

Labels: breasts, cams, havana ginger, MILF, sic, vicky vette, website

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 23, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

As you well know, I should be the last person consulted about adult website design (because a world in which someone would ask me about website design means one in which Lurk Ford, Rock and Roll Gene Ross, Mike South, Tod Hunter, and everyone on MySpace are already dead) but I feel XBiz is mixing messages in its relaunch campaign, which incorporates a French-made statue, a Van Halen song, and Marvel Comics typesetting, none of which shouts "porn" to me (unless new XBiz publisher Tom Hymes' bold new vision involves an Ellis Island torch-fisting scene for Spiderman).

Regardless, XBiz tersely rejected my substitute submission, which I felt incorporated some of its core themes.

Oh well. I hear AVN is going with the Powerpuff Girls and Motorhead.

Previously: Trade mags preparing site relaunches; Adult industry to sic itself on bad grammar; XFanz to stage erotica festival, perhaps erotically
See also: XBiz

Labels: hype, trademags, website, xbiz

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, June 21, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

Because no one likes the old and used, both of the adult business' trade publications have spent the Spring rolling their new websites to the launchpad.

AVN has been tinkering with its design for at least six months, and XBiz is reportedly planning a relaunch within the next few weeks.

Both sites currently look similar; this is understandable because both are drawing from the same well of advertisers and press releases in a very small industry.

Both sites have a lead story with a graphic (AVN's pops more) topping four smaller stories with graphics. The graphics for AVN's second-tier stories are mashed together while XBiz puts spaces between theirs, like Belladonna's teeth. I love Belladonna.

AVN is doubly-NSFW because it runs Flash movie clips that start upon the load of the page. Visitors must be quick on the draw else coworkers will discover their dirty secret. XBiz does not have this feature, though its daughter site, XFanz, runs surfer-controlled movie clips.

Until recently, XBiz' site was very busy with affiliate program ads; that has died down, mercifully, though the site scrolls beyond the level of comfort. AVN's site is compact.

It will be interesting to see what both sides do; XBiz is currently beating AVN in Alexa ratings, and XFanz looks much better than apples-to-oranges AVN consumer site AVNInsider*. It would be smart to build more interactivity into AVN's site and maybe blend XFanz into XBiz.

XBiz is the employer of a lot of people who used to work at AVN and therefore benefits from some institutional knowledge (all perfectly legal, of course) about the industry giant. AVN is now in its third decade of operation and benefits from a solid foundation of experience with the adult industry. AVN also has a record of hiring people who are porn fans, for better or worse.

My impression of AVN is that people like founder Paul Fishbein, early editor Gene Ross (who is no longer there), and Senior Editor Mark Kernes, all of whom were with the publication since the 1980s, like (or liked) porn and wanted to make a business out of covering it.

I feel about XBiz that founder Alec Helmy thought that porn would be a good vehicle for his business goals. It is a subtle distinction. Both philosophies work, and filter through the complicated hierarchies of both companies. Both philosophies are reflected in the editorial styles of the publications.

How is a company's philosophy about porn manifested in its website design? Fucked if I know. If one took that approach, my philosophy about porn would be that it is sloppy and tinged with Verdana.

My role in keeping both publications afloat is that I write a blog for XBiz and I drink with AVN's editorial staff. I can do no more to keep these gargantuans from tearing each other - and this very industry - asunder.

*AVNInsider.com currently redirects to AVN.com

Labels: avn, trademags, website, xbiz

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, June 19, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Memphis Monroe has proven the exception to the rule of contract performers not having absolute control of their websites, "soft"-launching MemphisMonroe.com this month.

"I shoot most of the content from Indianapolis," Monroe said (she lives in Louisville, Kentucky, just down I-65). According to Monroe, Hustler gave the reins of MemphisMonroe.com back to her after having control of it in the early part of her contract with the company. She had registered that domain and nine others in 2005.

She now runs MemphisMonroe.com with the help of the Indianapolis crew for whom she started her career as a nude model, the webmasters of PantyhoseAddict.

Hustler imposes no restrictions on what she can do for her site, Monroe said, "so I get to really show fans all access to my life."

Monroe chose her name from a combination of Memphis, TN, Marilyn Monroe and, she said, Nicolas Cage's character in Gone in 60 Seconds.

Previously: Derby Day for Memphis Monroe; End of the Summer
See also: Memphis Monroe, Hustler

Labels: "contract girls", hustler, memphis monroe, website, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, June 11, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Memphis Monroe has proven the exception to the rule of contract performers not having absolute control of their websites, "soft"-launching MemphisMonroe.com this month.

"I shoot most of the content from Indianapolis," Monroe said (she lives in Louisville, Kentucky, just down I-65). According to Monroe, Hustler gave the reins of MemphisMonroe.com back to her after having control of it in the early part of her contract with the company. She had registered that domain and nine others in 2005.

She now runs MemphisMonroe.com with the help of the Indianapolis crew for whom she started her career as a nude model, the webmasters of PantyhoseAddict.

Hustler imposes no restrictions on what she can do for her site, Monroe said, "so I get to really show fans all access to my life."

Monroe chose her name from a combination of Memphis, TN, Marilyn Monroe and, she said, Nicolas Cage's character in Gone in 60 Seconds.

Previously: Derby Day for Memphis Monroe; End of the Summer
See also: Memphis Monroe, Hustler

Labels: hustler, memphis monroe, website, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, June 05, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Radical Civil Rights activist Sara X takes a break from realigning the status quo by having candies dropped on her while wearing socks.

Part of the 1300th photoset hosted on pioneering punk erotica site Blue Blood.com, the photos of Sara X remind me that I really need to watch my diet.

A visit to the site also reveals that Blue Blood got sick of steveporn long before the rest of the world did.

Previously: Steve and the inevitable altporn backlash; Eon McKai and the elephant in the room
See also: Blue Blood

Labels: because, blue blood, fotos, steveporn, website

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, May 09, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

As you know, GramPonante.com is your one-stop shop for all things Nordic. Kira Eggers responded to some probing questions that I asked her in her native language while wearing a Martin Luther t-shirt.

GP: What is the first word that comes into your head when I say Jutland? Does it
sound dirty to you?

KE: No, not at all. It sounds Danish and very country.

GP: I'm a little bit country. I am a fan of Lars von Trier's movies, especially "The Kingdom" (Riget). If I go to a Danish hospital, how likely is it that I will be haunted?

KE: At Riget you will. It is haunted. I was in that movie by the way. I was the one they sacrificed in the basement.

GP: It is difficult to check that information. Every website I find has an "ø" in it. How do you pronounce "ø"?

KE: Let me show you. You just open your mouth like -

GP: Oh My God (drops microphone). Say: here in America we call danishes "danishes". What do you call them? For example, when we eat McDonald's hamburgers, we don't say, "I'm eating an American".

KE: Well, they´re called "basser" and "wienerbrød" and "snegle".

GP: Sure they are. It would be nice if they were called "Gram". Finally, In America, most porn stars I know wear melon-scented body spray. In fact, whenever I smell it I know there is a porn star in the room, even before I see one. What do Danish adult models wear?

KE: We like to go with the more sophisticated stuff. We just dont shower. It gives a unique scent.

Previously: Kira Eggers: Healthier than Lindsey Lohan
See also: Kira Eggers

Labels: interviews, scandinavia, website, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, May 03, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

"I am looking for the next big thing," Tina Tyler said. "As it were."

The Cougar from Vancouver is launching GuysPopBy, a website to which prospective male talent can send his photos for the chance to audition for Tyler and web judges. The audition will consist of the man disrobing, getting an erection, and ejaculating in the same room as Tyler and a camera.

"What kind of camera?" I probed.

"The standard digital video camera," Tyler said. "But that's not really the point - "

"Fine," I said. "What will you be wearing?"

"Well, I won't be wearing a sweatshirt and jeans," she said.

"Why must all of our conversations devolve into unresolved sexual tension?" I cried.

"For you maybe," she said.

A bi-monthly winner will get a scene with an actual girl.

Tyler directs both the male masturbation line Handyman and the newbie girl series Fresh Out the Box for Mercenary Pictures. I haven't seen the former (there is nothing it can teach me) but Tyler handles the standard porn interview in the FotB movies with ease, which is refreshing. Tyler is one of the few porn directors whose banter behind the camera is useful.

Women are disgorged onto Porn Valley's lubed slopes every day, and somehow work is found for each one, either as a gonzo actress or as a greeter at the Gram Ponante Casino in the City of Forbearance. But it is statistically tougher for guys to get into the porn business.

"What routes do guys usually take into the business?" I asked.

"What roots?" she asked (we were on the phone). "You mean, do they take herbs?"

"I mean - "

"Oh, do you mean rowts? I'm Canadian. We say 'rowts'."

That is why you will be among the first eaten when Cthulhu comes, I did not say.

"Men often come in as the boyfriend of a new girl," Tyler said. "So what GuysPopBy will do is give them an alternate rowt into the business. If the web judges vote them in, they then have a scene they can show to agents."

Tyler said that just as the industry seems hungry for fresh female talent, female talent get excited when new male performers arrive.

"Nina Hartley would call me up and say, 'Have you seen this new guy?"" Tyler said.

Auditioners would need to get to L.A. on their own, Tyler said, and would not be paid to audition (as it is a solo scene, though, they would not need to fork over cash for an HIV/Gonorrhea/Chlamydia test). If chosen for a scene, they would receive the "standard beginner's rate".

Previously: This man trod on Tina Tyler; Canada finally validates Gram; Tina Tyler refuses to stop being hot; Tina Tyler's mandatory orgasm (gamelink)
See also: Guys Pop By, Tina Tyler on MySpace

Labels: "tina tyler", website, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, April 18, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Here is Alira Astro from Galactic Girls, one of my favorite websites.

I think there is no better non-verbal warning of vagina dentata than tattooing a gargoyle down there.

Or she might be saying "Enter the cathedral".

Either way, it's time to go back to church.

Previously: Hotter than a Balrog; Trina Michaels for Industry; The Things I could perch on Nicole Austin's ass; Your Japanese Christmas in Space
See also: Galactic Girls; Pickman's Model

Labels: geekery, website

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, March 14, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Luke Ford, my elder, approached me 10 minutes ago at the XBiz Forum and asked:

"What's this big story about you?"

"I don't know. I suppose it depends on who said there was a big story about me."

"Someone at XBiz?" he suggested, feigning an inability to remember.

"Gossip rag."

"So what makes you America's beloved porn journalist?" he asked.

"The People, Yes."

"Do you think Ron Levy funds Alec Helmy?" he asked.

"Ask me after lunch."

Lurk has poisoned every relationship he has had with non-sociopaths. We talked about his new Wordpress blog.

"My girlfriend is doing it," he said.

"Your - - ??!!" I asked.

"She's not in the industry - " he said quickly.

"That's good," I said, relieved somehow.

Previously: Lurk lands lads; All Hallows Porn Star Karaoke

Labels: hype, website, xbiz

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, February 08, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I have always felt that January was about AVN and February was about Black History, so let's tie up some worthwhile loose ends from this site and around the web.

I met (for the first time) O: The Power of Submission director Ernest Greene and Nina Hartley at, of all places, the Corruption party after the AVN show.

"Thanks for being a one-man cheering section for O," Greene said. What can I say? Carmen looked good in that sweater.

Jesse Jane came under scrutiny for her thinness, and actually addressed it preemptively long before "skinny" pictures started getting published later in AEE week.


"I was really skinny last year," she said. "I'm heavier now. Last year I was under a hundred pounds and today I'm 102. I work out and stuff before a movie, but I eat whatever I want, inluding steaks."

"You ever eat at that place on Rt. 40 in Amarillo with the 72-ounce steak?" I asked the Oklahoma resident.

"No, but I hear it's not all meat."

I didn't print that at the time because she didn't look overly thin to me, plus I didn't want to offend the Beef Council, one of this site's sponsors.


In other contract star news - and these tidbits are unofficial insofar as no companies will be having their public relations department send out press releases about them - it is rumored that:

• Hustler and Joanna Angel have parted ways over a payment dispute. I've said it before: Thank God for Memphis Monroe
• Sophia Lynn will no longer represent Adam & Eve because "she didn't show up to the convention" (either that or she didn't show up to the convention because she was told not to). I've said it before: Thank God for Carmen Luvana
• Nikki Nine, though a solid perforMEr, is on shaky ground wiTh Hustler
• Jenna Loves Janine, even though Janine appears to be a viking
• Jasmine Byrne also did not show up for her signing duties, so she is no longer "J Ho"

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Miss Abby Ehmann in Las Vegas. Here she writes about lesser-attended but twice as fun AEE week parties on ErosZine.

I also saw Audacia Ray in regrettably short installments. The writer/director/performer also lauds the off the beaten track experience on Waking Vixen.

For shorter gasps even than Audacia's, I caught glimpses of Jamye Waxman, who writes the site seX matters. A family wedding prevented her from staying until the bitter end, so that shows she is self-actualized.


To prove that I didn't spend my week with fiercely attractive women only, check out P. Weasels' account of the festivities on Gamelink.

My pals at G4TV have a fun video of the AVN red carpet. I was whispering porn data into the ear of better-looking-than-me host Zach Selwyn. Not shown is the several starlets in a row who didn't remember being in the movies I'd said they'd been in. Ah well. I hardly remember working at TMZ anymore, either.

XBiz byproduct XFanz also covered the red carpet, and their video is here. XBiz president Alec Helmy hopes to establish February as XBiz month in the same way the adult industry associates January with AVN.

I will be speaking at next week's XBiz Hollywood Forum's seminar on viral marketing, so you know it's a quality establishment.

Previously: "A fine spray of legitimacy"; Lettuce from our readers; AVN 2007 gallery

Labels: avn, commentary, website

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, January 31, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Prime Time Uncensored, launching February 11 as a free adult webcast service, is, in its promotional material anyway, painting itself as an anti-KSEXRadio and anti-Playboy-on-Sirius.

While I would not be telling tales out of school to say the production quality is not very high nor the programming comprehensive, it is free to watch, and includes shows from the ubiquitous James Bartholet and Tony Batman, Vanessa Blue and Nyomi Banxx, and Misty Raa and Attorney Michael Fattarosi.

"With their experience and views on entertainment, our viewers will have no choice but to strap in and hold on for the ride of their life," says the press release, indicating that the viewers will be doing all the work.

Fattarosi seems to be the Dave Navarro of porn lawyers. Not content to just pop up on various convention panels (where his observations on dubious porn company contracts would more or less shut the industry down if people took action on them), he rents booths and has porn stars like Vanessa Blue signing for him as if he made porn himself. He is of a new breed.

But think what kind of porn all the adult industry's celebrity lawyers, such as Greg Piccionelli, Jeffrey Douglas, and Paul Cambria, would make if they formed a company. I humbly suggest the first title be Amicus Queef.

Anyway, pay attention to Prime Time Uncensored. It's free. What more could you want?

Previously: Gram Ponante sold to Playboy
See also: Prime Time Uncensored

Labels: legal, news, website

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, January 29, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Kylie Ireland, with whom this site shares server space, got the news this month that she had wrestled the Internet into submision what with all her dirtiness and whatnot.

So she had to up her bandwidth to accommodate the Corruption/SlutWerkz traffic.

The goal for next month is to overwhelm her server again as fans like you read about her cats and see her do horrible, wonderful things to herself and others.

Do you know she once appeared in a picture with Kevin Costner? It's true, (Butt Bitches) you'll have to read her bio.

Previously: Bank Holliday?; "Shut up, please": the 22nd Annual XRCO Awards; Kylie's shamrock shake
See also: Kylie Ireland

Labels: website, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, January 29, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

This Los Angeles-based webisodic sex culture site might be heavy on the 80's stand-up comedian patter at times (hence the Balki and Larry pose; both hosts Danielle Stewart and Lou Santini are working comics), but its value comes from interchanges like this one, about the new Korean robot lady:

Santini: "If she needs recharging, just plug her in the rear."
Stewart: "Works for me."

The affable Santini and the very tasty Stewart cover topics like dating, how to find sugar daddies, and condom testing.

See also: 1 Track Mind

Labels: website

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, January 17, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post