 |
"(Porn Valley Observed is) the smartest and funniest coverage of the adult industry you will read." - About.com |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Rucca Paige and the Midnight Judges
 As you are well aware, one of John Adams' final acts as our second President was making a spate of appointments to federal judgeships, thus stocking courts with members of his own party prior to the incoming administration of Thomas Jefferson, who defeated Adams in the election of 1800.These men were known as the "Midnight Judges" and they are still referred to in the waning days of any presidential administration as an example of the outgoing president getting in a couple of last licks while no one is really looking. Look for W. to pardon "Scooter" Libby, O.J. Simpson, and Satan on January 19. Even though Axel Braun's Bush Administration logo is done up in stars and stripes, however, not one mention of the orderly transfer of executive power from Bush to Obama is heard in the movie, thus the appearance of PornCop, a symbol of this site's relentless devotion to credibility and justice. Instead, for some reason, there's a lot of hairy pussies, which makes it more like the Carter Administration. See my review of The Bush Administration here. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: The Hair down there; Night of the Night of the Giving Head See also: Hustler Labels: hair, hirsute, history, hustler, kelly leigh, lexi love, max mikita, porncop, rucca page, sara faye, squirting ¶ Thursday, December 18, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post 
Thursday, December 13, 2007
You Be the Judge: Squirting or Urinating?
 Of the debates that occasionally tear Porn Valley asunder, there is none so divisive as what constitutes squirting and what is peeing. And if there was a movie about 'MILF"s who "squirt", well, we'd be here all day.I received two movies today, one called Super Squirters 4 and one called Tinkle Time 2. Both used alliteration, both used multiples of 2 in the title. The following might be heresy, but Was the substance that came out similar, too? Can you tell what the people in the next two pages are about to do?  Here is Sophie Dee. Everything she does is wonderful, and Welsh. But what is she about to do? This is a little bit arty. I know all about art. Maybe this is a no-brainer because Flower Tucci is so closely associated with squirting. But don't typecast her. Here Otto Bauer and Audrey Hollander command Chelsie Rae to do something on the grass. What will it be? Tinkle Time 2 Super Squirters 4Previously: Porner's Almanac Week 4; Squirting and self-censorship See also: JM Productions, Venom Labels: audrey hollander, chelsie rae, flower tucci, MILF, new porn daily, otto bauer, sophie dee, squirting, urination ¶ Thursday, December 13, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, October 01, 2007
Gödel, Escher, Jack Lawrence
Kickass Pictures has started posting PG-13 behind the scenes content to YouTube, and here Jack Lawrence explains to Summer exactly what he will do to make her squirt. What is fascinating is that conversations like this one are most often shouted from girders at construction sites rather than stated calmly, from a couch. And they never incorporate realities like the Bernoulli Effect, surface tension, and walnuts. America isn't falling behind other industrialized nations in Science; it's just seeking out more practical applications.
Previously: Passion is to magma as squirting is to lava; Hirsch's Heavies heave haunches heavenward; (Pop) Shot in the foot See also: Jack Lawrence, Kickass Pictures on YouTube Labels: instruction, Jack Lawrence, kick ass, male talent, squirting, summer ¶ Monday, October 01, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, September 10, 2007
Squirting and self-censorship
 I visited the set of Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party prior to my vacation and wrote about it for the adult trade magazine XBiz in a story that will be published next month. Because I am so goddamn good at what I do, I rarely get edited and can generally print whatever I please, including my tangential thoughts on natural childbirth, salmon ladders, and alien autopsies.Still, I did leave a word out of the first paragraph of my XBiz story because folks get touchy. See if you can determine which one it was in the un-self-expurgated version after the gap. After awhile, watching a porn movie being shot seems less like an event than a job, and that’s how it should be. After all, this is a legitimate business. But visiting one of Cousin Stevie’s Pussy Partys allows the observer to rediscover the childlike wonder of watching someone squirt all over a rented Encino wall.  Anyway, Sindee Jennings' squirting was the big gun of the day, but I especially liked Annabelle Lee and Lexi Love. If Jennings' aquabatics was Star Wars, then Love and Lee were like the Falkland Islands Conflict; I was assured that nothing would fly out at me and everything was pleasant.See a gallery here. Previously: The Famous Vagina of Amber Peach; Squirting and terrrorism; Masturbation and shame See also: Cousin Stevie, XBiz Labels: "cousin stevie", annabelle lee, lexi love, pussy party, sic, sindee jennings, squirting, xbiz ¶ Monday, September 10, 2007 4 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, December 05, 2002
Director Endows Digits
 CHATSWORTH, Calif. - Publicity move or not, now Axel Braun is putting his money where the masturbation is.The Elegant Angel director had his hands insured with Lloyd’s of London for $400K after shooting The Squirting Adventures of Dr. G. Braun plays the titular role in the film, which he described as “a lot of fun to make” on location in Prague, though he “worked (his) ass off.” Despite this, Braun chose to insure his hands instead. Each finger is now worth a stripped Lexus. Elegant Angel’s The Squirting Adventures of Dr. G will be released next month. Labels: "AVN stories", directors, hype, squirting ¶ Thursday, December 05, 2002 0 Comments Links to this post
|
July 2002 December 2002 January 2003 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement This Website fully complies with 18 U.S.C. 2256 and 2257 and the regulations promulgated thereunder. The owners and operators of this Website are secondary producers and are not the primary producer (as defined in 18 U.S.C. 2257) of any of the visual content contained in this Website. All models, actors, actresses and other persons that appear in any visual depiction of actual or simulated sexually explicit conduct appearing or otherwise contained in this Website were over the age of eighteen years at the time of the creation of such depictions. All other pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media displayed on this Website are exempt from the provision of 18 U.S.C. 2257 (a) through (c) and 28 C.F.R. 75 because the pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media: (1) do not consist of depictions of sexually explicit conduct, but are merely depictions of non-sexually explicit nudity, (2) contains only visual depictions of actual sexually explicit conduct made before July 3, 1995, or is produced, manufactured, published, duplicated, reproduced, or reissued before July 3, 1995; (3) contains only visual depictions of simulated sexually explicit conduct; (4) contains some combination of visual depictions described in (2) and (3) above; (5) have been certified by its primary producer to the operators of this Website (as secondary producers) to satisfy the standards under (2) through (4) above. |
