| --Wednesday, August 20, 2008--
Alaska loves porn and alternative search engine optimization
 ...yet no one is giving me money to go up there to film Ass Road Fuckers.
Here is a picture of Alaska's own porn sisters, Ava and Mia Rose, with their pet Kodiak Bear.
Lest you think this site has been taken over by the Rose girls, consider the e-mail I received today:
Hi ,
We found your website http://www.gramponante.com and would like to exchange links with you.
Please use the link information provided below:
Site Name: Alaska Fishing Lodge | Alaska Fishing Lodges
Site URL: http://www.kodiakresort.com
Description: Spectacular luxurious wilderness fishing resort and lodge offering unique wilderness adventures in the heart of the Alaskan wilderness on the quiet shore of Larsen Bay on Kodiak Island Alaska.
Regards,
Jennifer Galusha
Web Resources SEO
Alaska Fishing Lodge | Alaska Fishing Lodges Like Alaska Senator Ted Stevens getting that nice oil drilling company to pay for his porch, Ms. Galusha the Search Engine Optimization lady up there at the Fishing Lodge sure thinks out of the box by advertising her site with a known pornographer.
Previously: The buttoned-down Ava Rose; Shirts for Alaska
See also: Kodiak ResortLabels: alaska, Ava Rose, Mia Rose, SEO, spam
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, July 01, 2008--
Meet Mira and her hot growth
 To all the girls I've loved before: Sorry.
As you well know, Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Helipad, Centrifuge, and Rabbit Warren is, well, a rabbit warren of half-to-fully naked barely legal and throaty, experienced women who will do nearly anything to gain fame in the elegant and classy porn world that I rule. Nearly anything.
But an e-mail I received today from an admirer named Mira (reprinted verbatim below), which I had the luck to catch before my jealous spam filter trashed it, has abruptly ended my profligate, seed-sowing lifestyle. I intend to marry Mira and bring her, her dog-shaped tumor and, if need be, her entire family to America from Mother Russia so that she and it might have a better life.
I have annotated the e-mail in an attempt to convey my enthusiasm.
Good Day! You are disturbed by administration of sites
of acquaintances of USA.
Yes. Yes I am. Powerful disturbed!
You are the member of this group.
In fact, my college nickname was "The Member."
One of our members interested in you and we send you the message
delivered from MemberName="MiraOldy"
This WOMAN wishes to get acquainted with you.
And this HUMAN TRIPOD is ready for HER.
There is HER message:
Greetings the stranger, are Written by me to you from the
big country of Russia.
I have been told that, in a big country, dreams stay with you, like a lover's voice 'cross the mountainside. Is this true, Mira? IS THIS TRUE??
I have read your profile, and you
are interesting for me, I see you as a pleasant interlocutor.
Yes. In fact, I starred in Anabolic's "Pleasant Interlocutors" volumes 1 through 7.
I wish to get acquainted with you better and to exchange photos
and not only. I will be very glad if our relations do
not stop on that that we will communicate only on correspondence,
I'll be glad to meet you one day.
I agree. I would like to begin by communicating on correspondence and then communicating all over your face and neck.
I will tell a little bit about myself:
I'm very nice, sociable and cheerful girl.
Good. Not like that Suckable. She broke my heart.
I'm 27 years old, growth 169, my eyes are brown, hair dark, weight of
54 kg, a sports constitution.
I wouldn't have even noticed your growth if it didn't appear to have ears and a nose. And a leash.
I regularly visit fitness the centre
That's excellent! Recently on cable I watched "Superman: The Movie."
...to support the figure both to be in shape and to like men.
I understand. You need to expend extra effort to like men. That's all right. I have converted a number of lesbians in my time. First to Judaism and then to men.
If you are self-assured and trust that can deserve my attention that
write)) we will look that will turn out............)
I am assured that I can turn anybody out............)! Oh Mira, I really feel a connection here. I'm going to pitch our story to Wicked so that they will create a sensitive, couples'-friendly document of our love.
Other Adventures in Annotation: "You're not one of us."Labels: russia, spam, verbatim
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, July 26, 2007--
Gargantuan Cock Public Toilet
 Because I am so goddamn important, I receive approximately 1,000 spam messages a day, some from mortgage companies, others from Nigeria, others from All Media Play. And I read all of them, because in each there is always a fragment of truth.
Today a message arrived with the heading "You king" and related a story of loss and redemption, which you will see after the break in the HTML continuum.
Girls always giggled at me and even guys did in the public toilets!
Well, now I giggl at them, because I took Mega Dik
For 4-6 months and now my dick is much bigger than "average" size. Line 1: Paints a dramatic picture of a country where both girls and guys get together in public toilets for giggling sessions. Probably in Europe.
Line 2: Taking Mega Dik caused the writer to invent the verb "giggl", which he would engage in in public restrooms, against women and men.
Line 3: Mega Dik caused such an injury to the writer's cognitive functioning that he (or she - maybe that's why men giggled at her penis size) had no idea how long he/she took it. He/she also puts the word "average" in quotes, indicating that an average-sized dick is actually small.
This spam tells me that the world is tough enough without people going to co-ed bathrooms looking for trouble. If we imagine men and women taking this product to increase their dick size for the sole purpose of returning to this lavatory network to giggle at people with smaller dicks on a semi-annual cycle, you can understand why my next movie will be called Gram Ponante's European Gargantuan Cock Public Toilet.
Because, given how big those girls' dicks will be in three years, they won't even be able to fit into the stalls.
Previously: Katja Kassin in Viva La Van; Still life with Santa, toilet; Skater Girl Fever; How to make me read your spam; What spam tells us about porn; Labels: bathroom humor, spam, toilet
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, February 12, 2007--
What spam tells us about porn
 This message, titled "Porn Star recommend our drugs", made it through my spam filter because I'm Australian:
Hi mate!
Do you want to have erection like porn star fuckers?
It's easy! Everyone can be strong. Just use one of our erectional drugs. I was about to delete it when I wondered if, staganographically hidden in the message, was a commentary about the porn community.
Was this person saying that porn stars are "fuckers"? Is the strength referred to in "everyone can be strong" a negation of the work it takes to create a successful porn scene? Is there a reason that all my spam concerns viagra soft tabs and not mortgages?
Previously: How to make me read your spam; Valentine's Day Lust; Eroticist Karaoke: Escape from the Valley of the SlutsLabels: commentary, spam
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, February 01, 2007--
How to make me read your spam
 Labels: spam
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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