Porn Valley Observed: Home of Gram Ponante, America's Beloved Porn Journalist

As you know, GramPonante.com is your one-stop shop for all things Nordic. Kira Eggers responded to some probing questions that I asked her in her native language while wearing a Martin Luther t-shirt.

GP: What is the first word that comes into your head when I say Jutland? Does it
sound dirty to you?

KE: No, not at all. It sounds Danish and very country.

GP: I'm a little bit country. I am a fan of Lars von Trier's movies, especially "The Kingdom" (Riget). If I go to a Danish hospital, how likely is it that I will be haunted?

KE: At Riget you will. It is haunted. I was in that movie by the way. I was the one they sacrificed in the basement.

GP: It is difficult to check that information. Every website I find has an "ø" in it. How do you pronounce "ø"?

KE: Let me show you. You just open your mouth like -

GP: Oh My God (drops microphone). Say: here in America we call danishes "danishes". What do you call them? For example, when we eat McDonald's hamburgers, we don't say, "I'm eating an American".

KE: Well, they´re called "basser" and "wienerbrød" and "snegle".

GP: Sure they are. It would be nice if they were called "Gram". Finally, In America, most porn stars I know wear melon-scented body spray. In fact, whenever I smell it I know there is a porn star in the room, even before I see one. What do Danish adult models wear?

KE: We like to go with the more sophisticated stuff. We just dont shower. It gives a unique scent.

Previously: Kira Eggers: Healthier than Lindsey Lohan
See also: Kira Eggers

Labels: interviews, scandinavia, website, WGL

In general, the word Jutland doesn't sound dirty, but it can be if you associate it with the right person. Kira Eggers is from that peninsula (another suddenly dirty word) and she has just relaunched her website, which features hundreds of pictures of Ms. Eggers frolicking though the fjords, eating lutefisk, playing in an Abba cover band, haunting a hospital, and plenty of other things I just made up based on an incomplete knowledge of Scandinavia.

But you'll at least agree that she is built in such a way that poor Yorick would grow flesh again.

Eggers describes her breasts as "deliciously big".

Previously: All About Anna; Her fair judgment; Visit her face too roughly
See also: Kira Eggers

Labels: because, scandinavia, WGL