| --Tuesday, July 01, 2008--
April Flores, Carlos Batts at Comic-Con
 Most porn movies are horror flicks only unintentionally, but Carlos Batts' Kiss Attack, which he made for Adam & Eve and which comes with a 16-page comic book which Batts co-designed with Albuquerque artist Nathan Carlisle, is supposed to be scary.
"Andy Warhol got to make his 'Dracula,'" Batts said of his porn vampire movie, "and Kiss Attack is my Dracula movie."
Kiss Attack stars Sasha Grey, April Flores, and La Cholita.
Performers and bands featured in Kiss Attack will perform during Comic-Con at the Casbah Club in San Diego.
Batts, who has been attending Comic-Con for 14 years, will be at the Last Gasp booth giving out tickets.
Previously: At home with April Flores and Carlos Batts; La Cholita in cars and in ink; Kiss Attack (but not the Kiss Army)
See also: Carlos Batts, April Flores, Adam & EveLabels: april flores, carlos batts, comics, geekery, la cholita, san diego, sasha grey, the horror
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, June 12, 2008--
AVN Awards 2008: Reliving the dream
 The AVN Awards show gets bigger every year, and this January the event was covered by Showtime, which is getting chummier and chummier with the adult industry and which recently broadcast the event.
Here are some images from the show.
 "You're one of those people I want to rescue," Dave Navarro said to Joanna Angel.
"I'm actually doing quite well for myself, thanks," said Angel.
When he's not hawking New Balance footwear, Navarro has been working with Teravision as a director and appearing at adult industry events.
People in the adult industry have varied reactions to Navarro. Some welcome his Jane's Addiction/Red Hot Chili Peppers fame but others say he is another mainstream celeb who has not "paid his dues" to the porn business.
This sentiment isn't exclusive to porn; it's just more noticeable. Success breeds contempt, especially when you're not "one of us."
A similar contingent within the business begrudges outsiders making money from their takes on porn. The writer David Foster Wallace was beset upon by calling an often vulgar industry "vulgar" and pointing out spelling errors in AVN magazine {excerpt}. "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk had some factual and logistical inaccuracies in his porn-themed book "Snuff" and porn blogger Gene Ross said this:
But in Palahniuk’s novel titled “Snuff,” fiction, it seems, is stranger and, apparently, a whole lot better than truth. Such is the basic fact - that most of what Palahniuk writes about here, bears little resemblance to what you’d come across in the real porn world.
If that’s the case, why should we quibble about minor details getting in the way of a good story, you might ask? Well, for Doubleday to cash in on a really bad, tedious book with Palahniuk’s name attached to it, for one thing. Although I've yet to come across a review that hasn't gone out of its way to kiss Palahniuk's ass which was one of my reasons, aside from the obvious, for grabbing a copy to begin with.
Or put it this way. If some Joe Blow nobody had submitted this idea, the publishing company would have been firing off rejection slips faster than premature ejaculation.
I say that overcoming heroin addiction has allowed Navarro to test in to the porn business. But Joanna Angel does not need rescuing.
 Teagan Presley returned to the AVN Awards after bouts of having a family. Red carpet co-host Kirsten Price said, "You look so beautiful! I can't believe how tiny you are!" or "You look so beautiful; I can't believe how tiny you are!"
 It looks as if Navarro is talking with a cardboard cutout of Tera Patrick, the way I often talk to a cardboard cutout of Chewbacca. The reality is that Patrick is ready for a pose a millionth of a second before a camera flashes.
 Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz stop by. Jenna is chipper and talks about the future, what with her company being nominated for 52 awards. She does not tell Navarro of the bomb she will drop onstage.
Jameson's speech, as captured by the Showtime coverage, seemed rambling. Prior to announcing Stormy Daniels as the inaugural Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year, Jameson said, "It's apropos that this award is named after me."
She also talked about being battered in the mainstream press, which had called her skinny and divorced. "But I'm not divorced," she said, and thanked boyfriend Tito Ortiz for taking care of her.
 Then she said, "Everything's beautiful...I want to be honest for a second. Honesty is key. Honesty is key. I will never, ever, ever spread my legs again in this industry, ever." (In a previous report I got the number of "ever"s wrong, but I had quoted from AVN).
She moved on after this, and declared Clubjenna to be an adult industry powerhouse. It was an odd moment. Two months later, Clubjenna released a five-year-old "new" Jenna movie.
 Navarro with muse Sasha Grey. I am in the background of this shot, thinking, "That Navarro has a look. I don't personally like the look - he looks a little like a bug, but it works for him - but I've got to get myself a look. Maybe I should stick forks in my eyes."
 Awards host Greg Fitzsimmons takes a shot at Max Hardcore, calling him the retarded guy who captured Curious George. That seemed harsh to me, but Hardcore took it well. There is a huge Margaret and H.A. Rey fan base in the adult industry, and all know that the guy who caught Curious George was the Man in the Yellow Hat.
 Tera is forbidden by law to take a bad picture.
 The first AVN Awards were handed out in a room with fewer than 200 people. Hillary Scott goes to collect her Supporting Actress award before a crowd of 6,000.
 Larry Flynt is the Christopher Reeve of the porn industry, except Flynt got his injury on the job. People love him.
 Guess which person has two children?
 My hood ornament.
See my AVN 2008 gallery here.
Previously: AVN Wrap-up 2008
See also: AVN, ShowtimeLabels: avn, avn08, awards, dave navarro, events, greg fitzsimmons, jenna jameson, kirsten price, las vegas, max hardcore, sasha grey, teagan presley, tera patrick
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, June 04, 2008--
Porn economics: Vaginas and gas
 As gas prices increase, people across the country are adjusting their lives accordingly by taking public transportation, riding bikes, or staying inside for longer periods, playing more videogames and watching more porn like the activists they are.
But two adult performers signing at this weekend's Erotica L.A. have found that, unlike their vaginas, the price of gas is inelastic.
"Gas is like food," said New Sensations contract performer Ashlynn Brooke. "You have to pay whatever it costs to get it."
Brooke therefore declared the inelasticity of gas. Despite an average price of $4.20 across Porn Valley for a gallon of 87 octane fuel, she said that she would buy it regardless.
In her native Choctaw, OK, it's different. "I was talking to my aunt and it's $3.79 there today," she said. "Plus, it's easier to walk around in Choctaw."
Cementing the inelasticity of gasoline is the sheer size of Los Angeles and the unreliability of public transportation.
Sasha Grey, who grew up in similarly spread out Sacramento, recently topped off her Volvo's tank for $76.
"Oh Jesus Christ," she said. "It's disgusting."
But despite the horror at the pump (Brooke filled up her SUV for $80), Grey says the geography of Los Angeles doesn't allow her any options.
"It's not like I'm going to carpool to a porn set," she said.
Unlike their vaginas and the demand for goods that can be easily substituted, which are highly elastic, the demand for gas will be inelastic until more porn can be shot at a central location, such as Gram Ponante Towers, Stationary Taqueria, Cyclotron, Heliport, and Refinery.
Brooke does have one solution to oil consumption. At Erotica L.A. she will probably go barefoot to skip around the L.A. Convention Center's low-pile carpeting, eschewing petroleum-based Lucite heels.
"I'm from Oklahoma," she said, a likely Green Party candidate. "So I don't care."
Previously: XRCO from the outside in; Sasha Grey: A day without porn; Erotica L.A. 2007 in review
See also: Erotica L.A.Labels: Ashlynn Brooke, erotica L.A., events, money, sasha grey, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, April 28, 2008--
Life In A Porn Dorm Isn’t All Pillow Fights And Orgies
 Because The Whore Within Me was cast almost exclusively with women who belong to Spiegler Girls, the porn talent agency run by Mark Spiegler, I thought I'd reprint an article I wrote for The Naughty American, a webzine published by the studio Naughty America.
I spent an evening at the Spiegler Dorm with Spiegler, Annette Schwarz, and Adrianna Nicole. Sasha Grey dropped by briefly, too. Among Porn Valley agents, Spiegler is, in my experience, the most highly regarded by his talent and the companies who do business with him. He has also trained his cat to fetch.
this article originally appeared in The Naughty American
WOODLAND HILLS, Calif. -- It's 11 p.m. in the Woodland Hills section of Porn Valley, the part of Los Angeles between the Hollywood Hills and the Santa Susana Mountains, where most of the world's commercial adult videos are shot.
Gram Ponante
Porn agent Mark Spiegler sometimes has as many as 7 celebrities staying in his 2-bedroom porn dorm at one time. It's a rough life.
The  German performer Annette Schwarz, working here for the next three months, lazily pets the cat and falls asleep on the couch. She has to be up at 8 a.m. for a gang bang.
Mark Spiegler owns the couch, and his name is on the lease of the two-bedroom apartment (including one bedroom for Schwarz, if she'd just walk a few feet down the hall). Spiegler is one of a handful of booking agents for the porn industry, and he keeps a spare room available for non-locals like Schwarz and/or visiting San Franciscans like Bobbi Starr.
 His agency is called Spiegler Girls, and his roster includes 20 of the porn industry's most recognized names. Besides Schwarz, whom studio Elegant Angel has honored with its "Slutwoman" series, there’s "The Internet's Girlfriend" Dana DeArmond, Showtime's "Family Business" star Flower Tucci, and post-noir pinup Adrianna Nicole.
"I get about 175 phone calls a day," says Spiegler, who runs Spiegler Girls via a Verizon smartphone from his apartment or his Cadillac Escalade, which is about as big. "I'm on the 6,000-minute plan. My bill is about $260 a month."
Earlier in the night, Schwarz and Nicole, two leggy blonde bombshells, link arms and follow the shorter, rounder Spiegler into Alessio's, a higher-end Italian restaurant in Northridge.
It's a slow night and, because of this and the fact that Schwarz and Nicole are unmistakably dressed as porn stars in their kneesocks and midriff-baring t-shirts, the small group gets a lot of attention.
"It's good to see you again," says the waiter, who later tells them he has appeared in a Honda commercial. "We've missed you."
Spiegler takes clients like Annette Schwarz and Adrianna Nicole out to dinner so they will have plenty of nourishment before filming, say, a gang bang.
The dinner is filled with gossip and shop talk. Both Schwarz and Nicole have been with the man they call "Spieg" for three out of the four years his company has been in existence, and they affectionately kid each other.
Schwarz was referred to Spiegler by European porn legend Rocco Siffredi.
"She sent me pictures of her with a knife in her pussy," Spiegler said. "I said, 'OK…'"
"I started doing porn three days after my 18th birthday," said Schwarz who turns 24 on March 26. "I didn’t know what to expect in America."
 In 2006, Spiegler – whose family comes from Austria – met her at the airport and began speaking German to her.
"I didn't know what he was saying," Schwarz said. "And all the way to his place, I thought, 'Am I going to have to sleep with him every night?' I was biting my teeth together."
"Before I met him," she said, "I didn't know if part of my job would be having to sleep with him -- "
Spiegler interjects: " -- Oh, it only would have been two minutes out of your life/"
Schwarz continues: "And I asked [former Spiegler client] Katja Kassin about it my first night here, and she said 'No, it's not like in Europe.'"
Spiegler books his talent, picks them up from the airport and drives them to shoots if needed, takes up to 15 percent of their earnings, but never hits on them.
"It's bad business," he said.
Before dinner, Schwarz and Nicole retreated to Schwarz's room to check the latter's MySpace messages.
"Sometimes I'm so tired at the end of the day that all I can do is check my e-mail and fall asleep," Schwarz said.
While in the United States, she usually works six days a week.
"No working every day," she said. "If you're working all the time in porn, your immune system runs down."
After her stint in the U.S., Schwarz will return to her native Munich, where she will stay with friends or rent a "student flat" as her home base to shoot movies in Germany or other European porn capitals like Prague and Budapest. Then she will come back to the Spiegler dorm for another three months.
"I think I'm ready to buy a house in Germany," she said, looking around Spiegler's cluttered apartment, "because I am living like a student wherever I go."
Schwarz and Spiegler clashed when she first stayed with him in 2006.
Gram Ponante
Actresses like Schwarz and Nicole work hard during the day so their nights are spent checking their MySpace pages, not having orgies or pillow fights.
 "There's a curfew rule," she said. "I didn't like that. I said, 'I am an adult and can do what I want!' But it was my first time in the United States and I wasn't thinking of it as work, which I do now."
"I have a few rules," Spiegler said. "Save your money, don't make me look bad, and don't give me anything to worry about."
Indeed, Spiegler Girls is well regarded around the porn industry as a dependable agency. There are few instances of Spiegler’s talent not showing up on a set and he boasts that his clients are drug- and alcohol-free while on location.
"It's not that I get them off drugs," he said. "They were never on them. The people who work for me are pretty smart."
Spiegler is a former day trader who got into the porn trade in the mid-1990s by financing movies. He produced and directed a few, and then started Spiegler Girls in 2004. He has had as many as seven performers staying with him at a time, but on average there are only two or three.
"Which is good," Spiegler said, "otherwise they start fighting for the bathroom."
It might be tempting to call Spiegler cuddly or avuncular, and he is, indeed, a very friendly, thoughtful person. Unlike certain competitors, Spiegler is not a performer and does not "audition" his talent. But more than many in the porn business, Spiegler knows where the bodies are buried.
His phone contains names, dates, pictures, videos, social security numbers, addresses, and, in a few cases, the next of kin of many of porn's shadier personalities, but the database in his head is a little more comprehensive.
"People know not to mess with me," he says.
 After dinner, the waiter boxes a slab of chocolate cake that Spiegler will put in his refrigerator. Back at the apartment, Nicole and Schwarz watch as Spiegler's trained cat, Alaska, fetches a ball of tape.
Nicole settles into the pullout couch and frets about a scene she'll be shooting the next day.
"He better have baby-wiped his ass," she says to no one in particular.
For the 20 women on Spiegler's roster ("I don't represent guys because they're too needy," he said), each will receive a call or text message the day before a shoot with the location, company, director, partner(s) and service(s) required, which will also determine her take-home pay.
Gram Ponante
Spiegler's hard-fought reputation for fairness hasn't stopped former clients like Sasha Grey from going out on their own. In fact, the day after this photo was taken in the porn dorm, she announced she was starting her own agency.
Nicole said that lately these text messages on her iPhone don't excite her.
"I get excited when there's a brand new guy," she said.
Across the room, Schwarz nods. Spiegler throws a blanket over her 5 foot 8 inch frame.
Spiegler's is neither the largest nor the smallest of the porn booking agencies. Across the Valley, Derek Hay's LA Direct Models has two upscale houses for its visiting talent and lists more than 140 women and men as clients. Former performer Joel Lawrence's Goldstar Models has 80 women on its books. And more and more performers are choosing to represent themselves, such as Jenny Hendrix, who just left LA Direct Models, and former Spiegler client Sasha Grey.
 Grey, who was named the Female Performer of the Year by the porn trade publication AVN, dropped by the Spiegler dorm the night of the dinner, and the next morning announced in AVN that she was starting her own agency to at first represent herself and then to take on a few more girls.
At a certain level of fame, female talent tends to transcend agencies.
"If I can book an anal scene for $4,000," Hendrix said when she left LA Direct, "I'm going to keep all of it."
"I've had about 100 girls come through here," Spiegler said prior to Grey's announcement. "And they work a lot, and they all make money. But sometimes they need to move on."
"But Spieg takes care of us," Nicole said.
Nicole hugs Schwarz and Spiegler and then heads home to Silver Lake, a neighborhood of Los Angeles "over the hill." Schwarz gets up from the couch and shuffles down the hall to bed.
Wait a minute -- no orgies or pillow fights? No dancing naked on the bed and singing into hairbrushes? Schwarz laughs as if this has never occurred to her.
"I work too hard for that," she says.
In the morning, Spiegler will wake her up and drive her to the gang bang. He will save a little cake for her.
Previously: Goin' back to Calli; Adrianna Nicole and Annette Schwarz - just because
See also: Spiegler Girls, The Naughty AmericanLabels: adrianna nicole, annette schwarz, lorelei lee, sasha grey, spiegler
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, April 22, 2008--
Sasha Grey: A Day without porn
 Sasha Grey talks about Colecovision like it's porn but otherwise doesn't talk about porn at all in a refreshing article in the Gamers' magazine Giant Realm.
"It would be pretty dope to be a Tomb Raider, or Resident Evil type-character. Fuck it, let's go all the way: why not put me in the Grand Theft Auto universe somewhere? But I'd have to be able to kick some ass...strapped with two MP5K's and a black and grey skintight outfit," Grey says. Grey is also featured in a wholesome video by The Roots, "Birthday Girl," in which her facial expressions say everything.
Previously: Something is about to happen to Sasha Grey
See also: Sasha Grey Talks Games, The Roots' "Birthday Girl"Labels: geekery, sasha grey
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, March 25, 2008--
Casting Call: Romona sought for probing, suppression
 Rarely are you allowed inside the dream factory that is the adult industry. Only I provide you this service. Only I can pull back the curtain to reveal the throbbing brain trust that gives life to your masturbatory fantasies, and other mixed metaphors.
Vien Savio, ace production manager on several Adam & Eve movies, is directing his first movie for the company, Shades of Romona, and needs someone to play the title character, Shades. No, I'm kidding. The title character is named Romona.
Savio sent the following plot description. Do you see yourself interpreting this role? If so, contact Vien - the adult industry's only living Southeast Asian director - at surdalis (at) gmail.com.
SHADES OF ROMONA (synopsis)
The setting is a futuristic metropolis, circa 2028. Romona
is a famous film actress, whose career is in jeopardy
from a looming sex tape scandal involving a predatory stud.
Paparazzi are hounding Romona outside her door, waiting to
photograph her every mistake. At one time very outgoing, Romona has now
become reclusive, eventually developing a multiple personality
disorder. She seeks help from a new age Doctor (Zak). The
Doctor has created a machine that can cure all forms of personality
disorder through erotic brainwave stimulation. The Doctor uses the
machine to get inside the patient's mind and have sex with each
individual personality as a form of radical therapy.
To start the therapy, the intern plugs the Doctor and Romona into the
machine. The first of the three personalities, Zophina & Staza (the Love Twins),
are time travelers from a parallel universe. They come to
Earth to seek man's creation. Unfortunately, they are only able to find
man's desire. They fuck him anyway.
The second personality is a leader of a revolution (Sasha Grey) who is fighting to
overthrow the government. The president (Tony DeSergio) gladly tests
her revolutionary fervor. The last personality, Alice (Alexandra), is
a direct reflection of Romona's personality after the sex tape scandal.
Alice has always been bound and trapped by herself in a white room,
emblematic of Romona's repression. Eventually, Alice is able to wriggle
out of her restraints and she celebrates her freedom by
masturbating. The Doctor's treatment has been a success and Romona's
personalities have been permanently suppressed. She thanks the Doctor,
and suddenly Romona has an uncontrollable urge to give the doctor what he
wanted all along. The intern (Mandy Morbid) joins in. I know what you're thinking. "Grams, this is pretty lowbrow compared with Dirtpipe Milkshakes." I agree. But the common people have to jerk off, too. Else how will we keep them from having children?
Previously: Stagger Lee
See also: Adam & EveLabels: mandy morbid, sasha grey, sex tape, vien savio, zak sabbath
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, March 03, 2008--
Kiss Attack (but not the Kiss Army)
 Carlos Batts has been making a movie that he calls "The Blade Runner of Porn," Kiss Attack.
 "This is the movie I want to be measured by," he said. "I'm really proud of it."
 Featuring burlesque dancers, luchadores, martial artists, a standup comedian for good measure, and as always, Batts' partner in crime April Flores, Kiss Attack is the not-difficult-to-follow story of the five daughters of Vlad Drakul, each of whom is armed with a lethal lipstick created by Drakul's henchman, Mr. Experiment.
 Experiment's son, VMMX, is twisted with jealousy over the attention his father pays to the ladies, and vows to destroy them with the help of his gang, the Fleshers.
 "I'm not alt," Batts said. "This is a totally new thing."
 Shot in Los Angeles, Kiss Attack also features original music and comic storyboarding in addition to stars Flores, Sasha Gray, Claudia Rossi, Sara Vandella, and Damon Pierce as Mr. Experiment, who totally stole my look.
 Claudia Rossi is Cleopatra. She doesn't look Egyptian, but who does anymore?
 Flores is Ms. Sangre. She is acting circles around her scene partner.
 This is my favorite picture. Cholita makes an excellent hood ornament.
Previously: April Flores: Diva; At home with April Flores and Carlos Batts; Report: Purchases of "Gene Simmons" sex tape limited to people who already find Gene Simmons repugnant
See also: Carlos BattsLabels: april flores, bbw, carlos batts, cholita, claudia rossi, fotos, pinups, sara vandella, sasha grey, WGL, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, February 19, 2008--
No wonder Sasha Grey can't find her car
 It's because she has no place to put the remote.
Unless...
Previously: Sasha Grey's movies
See also: Elegant AngelLabels: because, elegant angel, new porn daily, sasha grey
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, December 28, 2007--
Gram Ponante announces Oscars of Porn
 During a brief ceremony at the Lamplighter Restaurant this morning, the vaunted National Institutes of Pornographic And Pornotextual Arts changed the name of its annual awards from the Also-Rannies to its current title, the Excellence in Adult and/or Erotic Entertainment Honors. A simple nine-foot statue was wheeled across the parking lot.
"That looks like my Uncle Oscar!" someone exclaimed. "He is nine feet tall and also made of gold! You see, he was an alchemist and suffered from gigantism."
From that simple outburst (quickly repressed by police and clergy), a tradition was born.
Read the list of "The Oscars of Porn" after the gap.
"I believe in America," Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante said at the quiet ceremony. "I believe that everyone should have his or her own adult awards show. And we are quickly reaching a point where the ratio of Americans to adult awards shows is 1:1."
Attendees wept and prayed as the awards were announced over strong cocktails and light salads. The spontaneous nature of the event kept any winner from attending, so in that way the ceremony was much like established awards shows such as the Adultcon Awards, the Temptation Awards, the FOXE awards, and the XRCOs.
Quintessence Award
Dirty Harry
"This award is presented to the person or persons who best represent the public's perception of adult entertainment. Dirty Harry often plays an incestuous scumbag who pimps out his daughter or seeks out women to beat him up. Harry truly is Dirty, and a scene in which he does not end up shrieking at someone or sobbing in his despair is uncharacteristic. God Bless You, Dirty Harry."
 Self-Lubricating Arriviste
Sindee Jennings
"As R.E.M. said, 'Everybody squirts sometime', but Sindee Jennings squirts all the time. She squirts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and if she lived in London, she'd squirt for tea. She might even squirt tea. And unlike other squirters who have taught themselves how, Jennings' squirting is wild and untamed, as if ordained by God. It does not feel forced, and its consistency coats, soothes, and relieves. She is also from Texas, where my people live."
 Sniffer Made Good
Dave Navarro
"Navarro circled closer and closer to porn until people started saying 'Red Hot Chili Who?' 'Jane's What?' While industry insiders might say that he has not paid his dues, remember that industry insiders rarely pay their cable bills. We look forward to a day when Navarro reaches 25,000 posts on porn chatboards like every other loser."
 Best Intentional Porn Comedy
Spunk'd
"Porn should be funny, and often is. Sometimes it seems people bend over backwards to siphon all the fun out of it. But this ensemble comedy starring Nick Manning and a dozen or so others achieves the lofty purpose of making a porn movie funny on purpose."
Best Unintentional Porn Comedy
Debbie Loves Dallas
"A textbook case of reach exceeding grasp. Both the movie and its director (and we made sure to verify this beforehand) had no intention of being so abysmally, unintentionally hilarious."
 Best Celebrity Sex Tape
Amy Fisher Caught on Tape
"A certified MILF who clings to her 'Long Island Lolita' roots, Amy Fisher, if I were a porn fortune cookie, would be 'Welcome at any gathering'. Without a doubt the best sex tape this year, because all the others were made to be watched by only a few people at most. This one was made for public consumption, even if half of the parties involved say it wasn't."
 Concerted Effort
Jenny Hendrix
"As Pink Floyd said, 'I've got the obligatory Hendrix sperm.' Hendrix works wicked hard. She has three phones working overtime. She hasn't taken a break since July. She makes drinks for people on set. She works well with others. She's thrifty, clean, and reverent. I would definitely recommend her for employment, a home loan, or cabinet position (preferably Reverse Cowgirl Secretary)."
 Male Performer Who Knows What Time It Is
Nick Manning
"For men who watch porn, watching other men is difficult, even impossible. And since no one will pony up for a greenscreen anytime this decade (despite porn being on the cutting edge of technology and all), the most we can hope for is that the male talent is entertaining. Nick Manning (close runner-up: Steven St. Croix) shows the perfect combination of acting and performing chops as well as a solid sense of where the male porn performer is in the firmament. He only steals scenes when there are no women in them. He doesn't overtalk, he shares the spotlight. And when allowed to do his thing, he displays the most sardonic character possible who still gets to 'wreck!' women onscreen. No one has a problem with Jack Nicholson playing the same character in every movie, so Manning should get an award, too."
 The Kami Andrews Wish You Were Here Award
Lorelei Lee
"Who knows if she will be back, but Lorelei Lee is gone now, and we miss her."
 Tony Conigliaro Award
Nicki Hunter
"This award, like its baseball counterpart, goes to the person who overcame adversity in style. Nicki Hunter was diagnosed with lymphoma one year ago and has returned to the adult business with equal parts vengeance and class. Congratulations also to the various fans and coworkers who got put personal gain aside to help out their friend."
 Best Porn Set
(tie)
Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party (all)
Barely Legal 75
"Usually I only spend a few hours in rooms full of naked women. Something changes when I'm there all day, as if I remember that there is an intrinsic value in spending the day with a room full of naked women. I feel like Caligula without the parts falling off. And Cousin Stevie and Erica Mclean run a very smooth, casual operation."
Best Logline
Cuckold - Chatsworth Pictures
"Sometimes the only thing wrong with your wife is you."
Best Inevitable Title
She Is Half My Age - Brandon Iron
"Porn has always been about older men and younger women. It seems more like Sociology class to watch people the same age having sex (that's why I stayed in college so long). This movie puts a name on the giddy joy one feels when discovering that $900 and an agent's fee can buy you Faye Valentine."
Biggest Comeback (Where "biggest" is the shortest intervening time between announcemment of retirement and retraction of retirement)
(tie)
Luke Ford
Kurt Lockwood
Belladonna
"Luke Ford announced he was leaving the porn industry yet continues to show up at porn events, Kurt Lockwood announced his retirement, paternity, and a move to Spain in September and returned to work in October, and Belladonna announced her retirement from performing and three weeks later announced her retirement from her retirement. Needless to say, some comebacks are more welcome than others."
 Most Satisfying Movie
Naughty Flipside
"When you get right down to it, the most effective porn format ever is the gonzo, in which setups are kept to a minimum and sex scenes get underway quickly. The scripted feature may showcase other talents of the cast and crew, but those are always exercises in diminishing returns, no matter how well-intended. Naughty Flipside Volume One presents the perfect combination of quick, fantastical setups followed by the lighthearted inevitabilities of Dana DeArmond, Sasha Grey, Adrianna Nicole, and Pinky Lee."
Ambition without Embarrassment Award
Upload
"Upload is a great movie. More than that, it is a movie that has high ideals. (Almost) nothing is worse than a movie that shows more of its creators' limitations than its creators' intentions, and this movie's intentions weren't grounded by budget, talent, or cast; every element shot for the sky. Also, there was sex in it."
National Institutes of Pornographic and Pornotextual Arts Director of the Year Award
Jim Powers
"Jim Powers is an effective porn director because he never forgets why the audience is there, so he keeps extraneous things like plot and guys' faces to a minimum. Despite this, he works so well within the limitations of the form that each movie is memorable and lightly-to-moderately sprayed with his own cultural references and cynical sense of humor. Watching a Jim Powers movie is the essence of a guilty pleasure, because you really do feel intellectually and spiritually ashamed afterwards. He's a genius."
 Quote of the Year
Alex Sanders to Julie Night, Upload
"Get it wet or I'll stick it in you dry."
Previously: Gram Ponante announces Also-Rannies Labels: "eli cross", "nicki hunter", adrianna nicole, awards, directors, eva angelina, jenny hendrix, jim powers, kurt lockwood, lorelei lee, Nick Manning, pinky lee, sasha grey, sindee jennings, steven st croix, steveporn
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--Monday, December 10, 2007--
Not just another Morbid Monday
 Mandy Morbid, last seen cavorting in these virtual pages with Glenn Danzig, has launched MandyMorbid.com, featuring a free hardcore video every week and a spare and haunting design.
Is it because she's Canadian that the callipygian and pink-haired Morbid has strap-on bathroom sex with Sssha Grey? No. Her being Canadian is a red herring. She has strap-on bathroom sex with Grey because it needed to happen.
Grey greyces the launch of Morbid's site the way David Bowie played with The Arcade Fire or Nancy Reagan once lent her street cred to "Diff'rent Strokes"; it is good to open with a celebrity. Next week Morbid, who runs the site herself, will take on someone named Ming the Merciless.
Morbid is the partner of similarly-tinted Zak Sabbath, who told me that he is building a monster to fuck Morbid in a future website update.
"It has to have the right number of tentacles, but also look serious enough to pose a fucking threat," he explained.
Previously: See The Taunting, then you drink; Barbed Wire confidential; "Now I've seen everything"; Stagger Lee
See also: Mandy MorbidLabels: canadian, mandy morbisd, sasha grey, websites, zak sabbath
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--Wednesday, October 31, 2007--
If it ain't Broken...
 In terms of porn movies directed by musicians, I liked Dave Navarro's Broken a lot better than Snoop Dogg's videos (Sorry, brother from another mother). In terms of porn movies directed by men in makeup, I liked Dave Navarro's Broken better than any Jennifer James video. Damn - in fact, in terms of porn videos in general, I liked Dave Navarro's Broken better than many.
But here's the thing: Sasha Grey is in danger of being stereotyped as the victimized reluctant porn star who turns on people with a gun (because this also happened in Joe Gallant's The Skin Trade). As her spiritual advisor, I recommend uplifting couples' porns from now on.
Read the review here.
Previously: Navarro film to explore duality, empowerment, avoid grandiosityLabels: dave navarro, joe gallant, reviews, sasha grey
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, October 05, 2007--
Barely Babysitters
 These movies are similar in that the titles suggest characters younger than the people in the cast. That doesn't make them bad; there is just a disconnect between presentation and reality, like when I talk about skateboards and Ritalin.
Read the review for Babysitters here.
Read the review for Barely Legal 75 here .Labels: angie savage, Digital Playground, gina lynn, hustler, jenny hendrix, jesse jane, nikki benz, sasha grey, sophia santi
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--Wednesday, October 03, 2007--
Babysitters: The hand that rocks the cradle, other things
 Not one parent who lays eyes on a babysitter in this movie even leaves the house.
On the other hand, wherever those children are, they are severely neglected.
Also, it behooves me to remind you that this image is courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com: The Filmmakers' Company's Website.
Also, Angie Savage doesn't play a babysitter in this film. She plays a mom. I just happen to like Angie Savage.
You think if she were a contract star they'd allow a shutter to get in the way like that?
I'm surprised they didn't shoot her in the head.
Read the review of Babysitters here.
Previously: Shameless promotion
See also: Digital PlaygroundLabels: "nautica thorn", angie savage, Digital Playground, jesse jane, nikki benz, sasha grey, shay j, sophia santi, teagan presley
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--Monday, September 17, 2007--
Rob Rotten provides jobs for gay homeless, Sasha Grey
 I never understood blowjob movies; the same amount of clothing comes off and the result ends up in the same place as it would in a full penetration movie. Is it for people who, like Bill Clinton, don't consider the blowjob sex?
Regardless, Rob Rotten, after nearly a year away from the porn fold after suffering injuries in a racing accident ("I lost my right front brake going 140," he said), has returned with Swallow My Children, a very funny movie that happens to have blowjobs in it.
"Blowjobs are less expensive," Rotten pointed out. "That's why blowjob movies have a million girls in them."
Read more after the gap.
Rotten makes and appears in three kinds of porn movies. Funny ones, scary ones, and porn movies utilizing his tattoos. Swallow My Children is of the first category, and as such it really is fun to watch, as everyone in it plays his or her white trash character expertly.
There are a few people making funny porn movies. Cram and Grip Johnson of Chatsworth Pictures and Jim Powers of JM and Sin City don't put their characters on pedestals but do allow for gallows wit. When the performers are smart, the viewer is left with a winning combination of sexy women with senses of humor. Naughty America's new line, Naughty Flipside, crafts scenarios that are more whimsical, but not so whimsical that the scene becomes something other than the sex people are having.
I forgot to ask where Rotten grew up and how much money he had while doing so, but if you can judge his overall aesthetic from Swallow My Children, I'd bet the lifestyle and characters depicted in the movie and Rotten's weekend world aren't far apart.
 There's surf punk/metal playing in the background, purple-haired Daisy Tanks playing shuffleboard barefoot, amiable dudes with nothing to do but lift weights, and Tony Tedeschi pissing on the roof. California affords many a lifestyle that allows them to continue the best part of their high school existences until at least age 42.
There's a genial vagrant serving as narrator.
"I didn't want to narrate the movie myself," Rotten said. "I said 'I wish I had a homeless guy or something' and one of the guys in the crew said, 'Are you serious? There's this gay homeless guy outside the liquor store down the street' and I said 'Go get him."
Angus McGillicuddy wanders in and out of the movie, a stunned Hungarian model sitting behind him ("At first I think she thought she was going to have to blow him," Rotten said) and lends the project its California-inclusive, Nothing But A Houseparty vibe.
I asked how much McGillicuddy got paid.
"Four beers? Five beers?" Rotten replied.
 I like to think that Rotten had a few women in mind for this large-cast, low budget movie, and he filled out the rest of the roster with blondes. Some of the most inspired and goofy scenes involved non-blondes, including newcomer Daisy Tanks, Jocelyn Jaden, and Sasha Grey.
People talk about exploitation and empowerment in porn, and I've never found an example of either. While there are those who weren't clever in making a decision to appear in a porn movie, they have agreed to a wage and they are not being exploited. In fact, those who would argue that porn exploits the not-too-clever draw a line between the higher-paid mistakes of these performers' mainstream counterparts. Is appearing in an MTV teen drama or Fox reality show not exploitive because an AFTRA contract is involved?
Whereas accusations of exploitation come from the outside, the empowerment defense is employed by pornographers who say that their material actually helps women. This, too, is bullshit.
Anyway, I think that people like Rotten have the right idea; he made a movie full of natural light and women who, given the right circumstances, might actually have fucked these dudes without being paid for it. It almost seems democratic.
"Isn't Sasha Grey hot?" Rotten asked. She plays the bemused girlfriend of a loser who rolls himself down a hill in a barrel. You don't normally hear people in porn saying things like this, because most people who have the confidence to fuck on film at the very least are attractive because of that confidence.
"Yes," I said. "It's nice seeing her in the sunshine."
"I ask them to not show up with all that porn shit on," he said. "It doesn't make them look good."
Read the review here.
Previously: Rotten, "Too Close for Comfort" rift worsens; Daisy Tanks is the solution to Rob Rotten's lap mystery
See also: Punx ProductionsLabels: "rob rotten", daisy tanks, reviews, sasha grey
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--Friday, August 17, 2007--
Navarro film to explore duality, empowerment, avoid grandiosity
 Rock star Dave Navarro is directing porn, as was inevitable considering his proximity to this world over the past few years.
Dave Navarro: Broken was shot this summer for Teravision and features Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, Victoria Sin, Audrey Bitoni, Kayla Page, Lisa Daniels, Tommy Gunn, Marco Banderas, Mark Davis, and Spyder Jonez (but not Tera Patrick).
Read more after the gap.
Porn world shorthand for Navarro's music career has always mentioned his role as guitarist for Jane's Addiction (currently broken up) and also the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Navarro has been with Jane's Addiction through all its incarnations but only played with the Chili Peppers for 1995's "One Hot Minute" album.
But his work as a hired gun has also been impressive. He has played with Christina Aguilera, Marilyn Manson, and was featured on Alanis Morrisette's 1995 "Jagged Little Pill". Currently, he fronts the band Panic Channel, hangs around porn, and is involved in a number of new media ventures, including Spread Entertainment.
Navarro's dabbling in porn was an open secret this year, and the question was which side of the camera he'd show up on.
"We're trying to get him to perform, but I don't know if he'll do it," Teravision president Evan Seinfeld told me in July. Navarro does not perform in Broken.
Navarro, whose father was a Spanish immigrant, grew up in Los Angeles and has led a rich and varied life. Married and divorced three times, most recently to Carmen Electra, Navarro co-authored his biography, "Don't Try This At Home", with "The Game" author and Jenna Jameson's ghostwriter, Neil Strauss.
Even more autobiographical is Navarro's solo album "Trust No One", which is excellent.
Teravision decribes Broken's protagonist, Sasha Grey, as "a young woman torn apart by the duality of control and powerlessness in her life." Navarro told adult trade publication XBiz that he wanted the movie to contain themes of empowerment without being "grandiose".
Dave Navarro: Broken will be released September 27.
Previously: Jameson and Navarro: Hosting duties left vague; XFanz porns burlesque
See also: Rock Star Dave Navarro Directs for Teravision (xbiz), Teravision, Dave NavarroLabels: celebrity, dave navarro, sasha grey, teravision, xbiz
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, June 07, 2007--
Sasha Grey's Jezebel & June
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