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| --Friday, March 14, 2008--
Audrey Hollander cares enough to replace the roll
--Friday, September 28, 2007--
 ...and if you invite her to your house? She will always bring a nice cake or something, or a mix tape.Previously: In every Cum Fart Tsunami, a tacit confirmation; Barely Legal: Generations Labels: "set visits", audrey hollander, redheads, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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Friday, March 14, 2008
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Barely Legal: Generations
--Thursday, June 07, 2007--
 Like wizened Army veterans gathered to share a drink and a laugh over fallen comrades in ancient battles, several performers from Hustler's Barely Legal series gathered last night at Hustler Hollywood to swap stories and talk about the old days.Some, like Audrey Hollander and Kimberly Kane, had appeared as far back as Barely Legal 45, released in 2003. "Jesus CHRIST," I shouted so the antique ladies could hear through their ear trumpets. "I'm surprised you're still ALIVE. This should be called Barely BREATHING." "Oh, shut up," they said. Read more after the gap. The event, such as it was, consisted of nine or ten girls (including Alexandra and Jenny Hendrix from Barely Legal 75) signing posters and posing for pictures. Director Erica McLean walked through the crowd, as did, inexplicably, Danny Bonaduce. But there were other redheads I needed to take pictures of.  Audrey Hollander whispered that, of the three female redheads in the room (the other two being Jamye Langford and Alexandra), she was the only natural one. Then she proved it. My camera wasn't that fast, and besides, I'm all about LIVING, baby. I can't take pictures of everything. It is, of course, impossible to tell if Alexandra is a natural redhead because she's shaved down there. And Langford was too busy with markers up her nose for me to check.I am always happy to see Angie Savage, and it happened that I had just seen her in pornographic form not three hours before in Babysitters. I always feel uncomfortable saying to porn performers that I'd seen them in a movie, but I think that's my problem. I should just not say it to them while sweating, drooling, or in front of their children at Costco.  Anyway, Savage and I got to talking about spanking. I don't know why, but I'm also not complaining."I'm more of a domme lately," she said, "and I'm rarely on bottom, but when I am I love getting spanked. It makes my butt tingle." I replied that, while petite, she looked like she could take a spanking onslaught. I am always wary of pornstresses who are so small and thin that they look like they might break in half, or quarters. And then I am wary that, by saying someone looks like she could take a spanking, that I am implying she is fat. This is not true, of course, of Savage. Get off my goddamn back. O, Reader, would that I could have stepped away from my august role as America's Beloved Porn Journalist and spanked Angie Savage halfway down San Vicente Blvd. But it's important I maintain some objectivity. I do this for you. I talked with director Otto Bauer for a while. He told me had scenes in the can that he couldn't even release in Europe, but that he hoped the cycle might comee around again to make that material saleable in the U.S. He described footage in which there was so much fisting that people were forgetting whose arms the fists were attached to.  I wish Jenny Hendrix would stop looking at me this way. I want to do terrible things to her. If she were an infant, I'd say the look was gas. But Jenny Hendrix is not an infant.I have always admired anyone in the porn industry who is cordial to fans and spends hours on her (or his) feet being gracious at signings and conventions. Many of the women last night spent as much time taking pictures with a roomful of fans as they did at the table. I couldn't do that; I'd need to drink. See a gallery here (now with no nudity!) Previously: Barely Legal 75: Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland; Angie Savage and Crissy Moran in different underpants; Good Friday at the Filth Factory; Young Hollywood; Report: Night of 101 Girls "Pleasant", "Good" See also: Hustler Labels: "kimberly kane", "nautica thorn", "vena virago" wgl, angie savage, audrey hollander, events, hustler, jenny hendrix, otto bauer, redheads
posted by Gram the Man
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Friday, September 28, 2007
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Working up the enthusiasm with Gabriela Banks
 This is a tough business. It is tough because it is often tedious, even as those who don't get porn for free and who don't get paid to have sex are reasonably jealous of the people who do.Don't get me wrong, I don't think the grass is greener selling overpriced boba drinks to people with Bluetooth headsets, but one's heart can't be in any job 100 percent of the time. Above, we see a still from Ethnicity Films' Craving Chocolate (it's an interracial title, not a plumper title) featuring Gabriela Banks and Byron Long. In porn terms, a still is a posed shot that is snapped after the action it depicts has taken place. So Banks and Long recreated this pose for the still photographer. I have met Banks and she seems like a lovely person. But the difference in enthusiasm level between the live shots and the posed shots is striking. They reveal an interior monologue that can only be imagined. I have tried to recreate that interior monologue below.  "Turkey, ham, some Fruit Roll-Ups, 1 percent milk. 2 percent? Should I get 2 percent? If they only have 2 percent I'll buy it. But not skim. That stuff tastes like ass. Hey! I'm being fucked in the ass!" "I can tell they only put one coat of paint there by the baseboards. If you look really closely you can see that it's not as solid as up by the window. They should really put some low tables there to draw the eye away. It looks kind of bad because the paint layers should be consistent throughout. Now one layer abuts two layers. I wouldn't do - Hey! I'm getting fucked in the butt!" "I'm a leopard stalking my prey on the dusty veldt. Is a veldt dusty? Do leopards live there? I just saw 'veldt' in a magazine. Was it at the dentist's? Jesus Christ, that hygienist was thorough. I don't think I've had a cleaning that comprehensive in five years. My gums hurt. I should really make a commitment to flossing. I hate people who just floss in front of you. That's such a Hollywood thing to do. Those people are vain and anal. Hey! ..." Previously: Holliday at the Car Wash; Reverse Bukkake 2; Opportunity Cucks (fleshbot) See also: Metro Labels: because, dvd, gabriela banks, metro, redheads
posted by Gram the Man
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Thursday, June 07, 2007
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