| --Thursday, April 17, 2008--
Richard Kern unnecessarily validates Sinead
 Photographer Richard Kern is featured in a regular series of segments on Spike Jonze's Brooklyn-based site VBS-TV. "Shot by Kern" is interesting for several reasons, not the least of which being it gives equal airtime to Kern's reactions to his models.
This week it is Burning Angel model Sinead who, at 20, has been aware of having a compelling rack for at least seven years, though she admits that "I was (even) a very sultry eight-year-old."
Kern is shooting a book called "Looker" in which he recreates embarrassing celebrity moments. He poses Sinead as Anna Nicole Smith covered in her own vomit (lacking any of Anna Nicole Smith's vomit, Kern uses apple sauce on Sinead).
 "Have you gotten any puking photos where the puke is real?" Kern is asked. "Does that interest you?"
"No," Kern said, looking alarmed.
Three years ago, when I was 20, I didn't have Sinead's mercenary worldview. In her interview she talks about sex, sex work, and stripping only as they pertain to money.
 On dancing: "I had nothing to do for a month. Then I had a thousand dollars in cash lying all around me."
On her club: "(People spend) their Wall Street bonuses for the year."
On doing (or not doing) porn: "Whatever. Whatever's fun and pays."
This is not a moral judgment. People should be fairly compensated for having breasts.
 "Even in high school people would say, 'You have real nice tits.'" Sinead said.
"You do," Kern said.
Previously: Joanna Angel's Invent-a-Lunch; Striking while the iron is hot
See also: Baby Sinead, Sinead on Burning Angel, Shot by Kern: SineadLabels: "burning angel", boobs, pinups, richard kern, sinead, strippers
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, March 21, 2008--
Young Hollywood and the birth of the United States
 HBO's "John Adams" miniseries is pretty compelling, though it inaccurately places the man who would become our second President at the scene of the Boston Massacre. Tom Wilkinson is brilliant as Ben Franklin, David Morse engaging as George Washington, the guy from "Oz" excellent as the guy from Pennsylvania, Laura Linney wonderful as Abigail Adams, and Paul Giamatti way better than he was in that god-awful pool movie with Opie's daughter.
As I sat at home considering these things a thought came to me:
"I have to go take another picture of Adrianna Nicole in a parking lot."
My collection of pictures of Adrianna Nicole in parking lots is among the major achievements of my career as America's Beloved Porn Journalist. Tonight, while I watched John Adams wrestle with Philadelphia's horrible plague of dysentery in the summer of 1776, I knew that one of the freedoms guaranteed by Adams and the founders was manifested in Carlos Batts' Young Hollywood, in which Nicole has sex by venetian blinds.
"Yeah, man," Batts said. "Adrianna's a trip."
 The party was at Safari Sam's on Sunset Blvd. Guests listened to live music from bands featured in Young Hollywood and Batts' next movie, Kiss Attack, including a set from Batts' friends from Baltimore, Dirt & Bank.
"Yeah, man, "Batts said. "Dirt & Bank are a trip."
Mandy Morbid proved that her default setting is winsome as she posed with Pride of Oregon Kimberly Kane. Kane, who is Young Hollywood's boxcover model, has yet to see the movie.
 "You should," I said. "You're really naked in it."
"I see all my movies," Morbid said. "I've only been in one."
Because of "John Adams", I'd missed the bands. Apparently Glenn Danzig was there, as his yard had been used for Mandy Morbid's car-top tryst with Lystra, or trystra. But I didn't see him.
"He was standing about one millimeter away from you," Batts told me. (Danzig is kind of short; Mika Tan told me this.)
 A drunk and vaguely surly Benny Profane was on stage. He played Martin van Buren in the Adams movie.
 I saw Clown Porn's Dick Chibbles and Daisy Layne.
"Why clowns?" I probed.
"People having sex is funny," Chibbles said (he lives in San Diego). "Clowns having sex is funnier."
Actually, clowns having sex is horrifying. But not more than the atrocities committed by the British in its colonies, or what the Sons of Liberty regularly did to the Crown's tax collectors.
 Also on hand were performer Van Damage and his wife, let's call her Cynthia Damage. I approve of this marriage.
"My girlfriend brought me to a swinger's party and I just found myself blowing him," she said, echoing Martha Washington.
 Off in a corner representing Los Angeles were April Flores and her friend, La Cholita. Flores did much of the behind the scenes work in Young Hollywood and stars in Kiss Attack, where she leads a fleshy vampire army. How La Cholita figures into this I'm still unsure, but I'm glad she does.
"Looking good is being deadly," La Cholita said.
 As I was about to leave, a parking lot materialized around Adrianna Nicole for her photo opportunity. It made me think of the tax collector in "John Adams"; she looked like she should be tarred and feathered, except not with tar and feathers, if you know what I mean.
Read the Young Hollywood review here.
Previously: Kiss Attack (but not the Kiss Army)
See also: Carlos Batts, Adam & Eve, HBO's "John Adams"Labels: "kimberly kane", adrianna nicole, april flores, carlos batts, daisy layne, dick chibbles, events, la cholita, latin, mandy morbid, pinups, van damage, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, March 10, 2008--
Satine Phoenix on three hours' sleep or: By the time I get to Phoenix, she'll be pissing
 I visited San Francisco for its Fetish Ball this weekend and spent one early morning following Satine Phoenix around the city on various adventures. Generally I am a clean-living, wholesome person, but I hadn't slept in a couple of days and things began looking Lovecraftian after a while (which is also the name of my band).
3 a.m.
 I arrive at Phoenix' hotel after most of the Fetish Ball after-party participants have left. Coming out of the elevator on tottery heels and smelling like vomit is the reason why the doorman told me, "Make sure you're quiet up there; people are complaining." There are a few people left, including her friend January, a foot fetish model. I demand they stand on the couch.
4 a.m.
 "Let's go see my friend Ian," says Phoenix. While that will make the m/f ratio less favorable, I am only there to observe, so I tag along. Ian's not home when Satine bangs on his door. It is doubtful if he even lived there. We leave in haste. Satine takes care of business by a warehouse door.
"Will you take a picture?" she asks/"I should probably take a picture," I say.
4:30 a.m.
 We head to another Ian's house near City Hall. Those guys aren't happy to see me. "We thought she was coming alone," one says. "Joke's on you," I say. The apartment is small. "Doesn't she have, like, a full hotel rrom?" one asks. "Yeah," I say. "I don't know why we're here either." They seem used to this sort of thing. We leave after 30 minutes.
5:30 a.m.
We head back to the hotel. The time change has resulted in a parking ticket. A hooker tells me I just got it two mintes ago.
"Couldn't you have blown the cop?" I ask. The ticket is $71; a blowjob costs $50. San Francisco would benefit more from my paying for a cop to be fellated, I asure you.
"I cost more than that ticket," she says. I laugh, but choose to run her over. Every time I go to San Francisco, I get a parking ticket. Even when I fly.
 Satine's ready for bed. I'm ready to drive home.
Later, I take a wrong turn and wind up in Marin County. Next time Satine comes over my house, I'm making her buy a goddamn pizza.
Previously: Rebelle Rousers and their genomes; By the time I get to Phoenix, I'll be in Prague
See also: Satine PhoenixLabels: events, fetish, pinups, san francisco, satine phoenix, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, March 03, 2008--
Kiss Attack (but not the Kiss Army)
 Carlos Batts has been making a movie that he calls "The Blade Runner of Porn," Kiss Attack.
 "This is the movie I want to be measured by," he said. "I'm really proud of it."
 Featuring burlesque dancers, luchadores, martial artists, a standup comedian for good measure, and as always, Batts' partner in crime April Flores, Kiss Attack is the not-difficult-to-follow story of the five daughters of Vlad Drakul, each of whom is armed with a lethal lipstick created by Drakul's henchman, Mr. Experiment.
 Experiment's son, VMMX, is twisted with jealousy over the attention his father pays to the ladies, and vows to destroy them with the help of his gang, the Fleshers.
 "I'm not alt," Batts said. "This is a totally new thing."
 Shot in Los Angeles, Kiss Attack also features original music and comic storyboarding in addition to stars Flores, Sasha Gray, Claudia Rossi, Sara Vandella, and Damon Pierce as Mr. Experiment, who totally stole my look.
 Claudia Rossi is Cleopatra. She doesn't look Egyptian, but who does anymore?
 Flores is Ms. Sangre. She is acting circles around her scene partner.
 This is my favorite picture. Cholita makes an excellent hood ornament.
Previously: April Flores: Diva; At home with April Flores and Carlos Batts; Report: Purchases of "Gene Simmons" sex tape limited to people who already find Gene Simmons repugnant
See also: Carlos BattsLabels: april flores, bbw, carlos batts, cholita, claudia rossi, fotos, pinups, sara vandella, sasha grey, WGL, zaftig
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, May 01, 2007--
Pinups PlusTM: Tiffany Price in Send It Down 2
 Once upon a time, when I took art classes and we would have a live model pose for us, I reasoned that if someone was so comfortable with (her) body, then she was probably pretty sexually groovy as well.
This turned out to be incorrect in so many cases that it pains me to think about it.
One model acquaintance of mine was insistent in the opinion that an art school model was not thought of sexually by the people sketching her. "They just think of her as a bunch of lines and shapes," she said.
It was then I realized I was not a true artist, because many of the models I drew had lines and shapes I really wanted to stretch.
Since I had spent time in classes respectfully harboring sinful thoughts about the models, I knew that what I was being told wasn't true, but it spoke volumes about the way some of my model friends thought of themselves and the lack of control they had over their self esteem.
"It's not a crime to be attractive," I said. "And you can't control what people think of you."
Anyway, when I started writing about porn I fell into the same illogical generalizations about strippers, porn performers, and "erotic" models. I talked with one stripper who said, "I sell a fantasy; people aren't really thinking they can fuck me."
"Well, I'm not thinking about it now," I said.
My favorite performers are the ones who are frank about the effect they have on the viewer. Acting on it is a different matter, but it's foolish to say it doesn't exist.
Which leads us to a new feature on GramPonante.com, Pinups PlusTM. Here's a very suggestive and well-composed photo of Tiffany Price from the set of Send It Down 2. I think it's a blowjob movie, but if Price were selling hardwood flooring, I'd buy that, too.
The photo suggests that Price is Ready to Go, and within an hour of this picture being snapped, she did. (It's all about the honesty around here.)
Previously: Send It Down; You can stop posing now
See also: Platinum XLabels: because, dvd, pinups, platinum x
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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Photographer Richard Kern is featured in a regular series of segments on Spike Jonze's Brooklyn-based site VBS-TV. "Shot by Kern" is interesting for several reasons, not the least of which being it gives equal airtime to Kern's reactions to his models.
"Even in high school people would say, 'You have real nice tits.'" Sinead said.
