| --Tuesday, July 29, 2008--
Earthquake Rocks "Couples' Porn Valley"
 An earthquake registering 5.8 on the Richter scale shocked California's San Bernardino and Riverside Counties this morning at 11:42, causing buildings to sway as far away as Las Vegas and sending pens and Jenna Jameson's Temptation Award crashing to the floor at Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Salmon Hatchery, Heliport, and Yurt in downtown Los Angeles.
But the Chino Hills-centered quake erupted closest to the compounds of Michael Ninn and Kelly Madison, two porn producers in this area southeast of Los Angeles dubbed "Couples' Porn Valley" for its emphasis on content that ostensibly makes women feel OK about watching porn with their husbands or boyfriends.
Aerial photographs of the paddock in which Ninn once kept a herd of contract girls including Cassidey and Jana Jordan revealed that no significant damage had been done, and that the rolling and swinging characteristic of Southern California earthquakes had little effect on the swinging Kelly Madison was doing already.
Neither was available for comment as local forecasters predicted aftershocks that could measure up to 4.2.
Today's 5.8 quake was the strongest in the area since the devastating Northridge quake of 1994, which accordioned bridges, sent property values hellward, and was largely responsible for the proliferation of porn companies in the northwest San Fernando Valley around the epicenter.
Applied seismologist Lex Luthor does not believe that the magnitude of today's earthquake was sufficient to cause porn companies to seek property in the Chino/Norco/Corona area. But he does predict that a general aura of seediness and God's Wrath will be a boon for the adult industry.
"Everybody has faults," he said. "Mine's in California."
Outside his office in downtown L.A., Ponante said he didn't feel a thing, and lamented his lack of sensitivity.
"Must be because I'm circumcised," he said.
Previously: Kelly Madison: Have wristband, will travel; Ninn looks for a more congenial spot
See also: Earthquake Jolts Los Angeles; Michael Ninn, Kelly MadisonLabels: kelly madison, los angeles, ninnworx, swingers, the horror
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, June 27, 2008--
Remember Cassidey's name
 I was home sick recently and watched, in its entirety, the 1980 movie Fame, in which plucky New York City students learn about the arts and each other, often spontaneously breaking into dance and song, much like it is in Porn Valley if you were to substitute "herpes" and "their ex-girlfriend's apartments" for dance and song.
Here is Cassidey who, in her movie Meet Cassidey hangs around in just the sort of bricky lofts the Fame kids did. Was it a coincidence that I received this movie soon after I watched Fame? No. Nothing is a coincidence (except for this).
Previously: Debbie Loves Dallas; Michael Ninn looks for a more congenial spotLabels: cassidey, ninnworx
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, June 16, 2008--
Michael Ninn looks for a more congenial spot
 The director Michael Ninn, known for his artful pornography, last year entered a partnership with the gentlemen's club chain Spearmint Rhino to thematically link those two companies. Ninn has ended his relationship with the fraught-with-turmoil result of that partnership, Ninnworx_SR.
"A Ninnworx movie delivers overwrought porn with a complex storyline and editing that prevents masturbators from getting a good look at the crucial parts," I said in my unsuccessful bid to be Ninnworx_SR's marketing director, "and Spearmint Rhino delivers listless strippers for an outrageous cover charge and drinks minimum.
"You should really get together."
After months of contract stars being announced and then dropping out, a move to the non-strategic Riverside County town of Norco and, according to Ninn associates, checks going unpaid by the Spearmint Rhino corporate office, Ninnworx_SR only remains as a website.
In truth, Ninnworx was never a real partner with Spearmint Rhino. No one visiting any of the club's stateside or international locations would be greeted by Catherine-branded pinball machines, Sacred Sin nonalcoholic cocktails, or Neopornographia lap dances. The Spearmint Rhino customer would never know Ninnworx existed. On the other hand, every Ninnworx movie was labeled with the Spearmint Rhino logo.
In a Camelot-invoking mea culpa that is unusual for porn (but which also left no doubt about where the real blame lies), Michael Ninn changed his name to IMNinn and apologized to anyone who believed his previous press releases.
"I would first like to apologize to the people who believed in me over the last eight months as I made my path through a journey called Ninn Worx_SR. I publicly apologize to Brea Bennett, Cassidey, Jana Jordan, Nikki Kane and Renee Perez, who believed in me and a dream I had, called Ninn Worx_SR. You did not deserve the way you have been treated, the half-truths you were told, nor the lack of respect you were given. My support for you, my crew and every other person that believed in me and my dream never failed. However, because of my belief in what Ninn Worx_SR could be, I find myself on the outside of my own company, looking in. A place I never imagined I'd be, but a fitting place none the less for me. I join you on the outside of Ninn Worx_SR, not a broken man, but a person who choose conscience over wealth, respect over disrespect and truth over half truths," stated IMNINN. Ninn, who has worked in the adult industry for 16 years, then continued with the righteousness of a man burned in a business relationship.
"There comes a time in most people's life when you must make this choice; to put the better good above ones self, that wealth is not as important as well being and doing the right thing makes you a better person in spite of the out come. I say to you today, I stand on the outside of Ninn Worx_SR along with my contract stars and my crew, knowing that I no longer have to live with the lie that the check is in the mail or that the corporate committee will get back to you, as soon as they have reviewed your invoice and have reached a decision on paying you. "I feel this is not an end at all, but just the beginning. I enter the next phase of the Ninn Worx_SR relationship with a positive attitude and a firm belief in our legal system and welcome the challenges ahead." (I especially like the "firm belief in our legal system." That's a badass thing to say. That's something I would say as I dropped my cigarette on the floor and crushed it under my boot. I would also add "Baby." So as I walked away from an onerous business relationship I would drop my cigarette to the floor, crush it under my boot, and say, "I have a strong belief in our legal system, Baby.")
Ninn's straight porn homage to 300, The Four, will be released under the Ninnworx_SR label in August.
Previously: In a wet room with black curtains; Sacred Sin; Brea Bennett a witch; Ninnworx makes squatting sexy; Rhino to get Ninn skin
See also: NinnworxLabels: business, fraught with turmoil, legal, ninnworx, strippers
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 04, 2008--
Report: Brea Bennett witch, rock star, designer
 Former Vivid Girl and current NinnWorx contract performer Brea Bennett has many irons in the cauldron, including her redesigned website, which will be a clearinghouse for her myriad talents.
She writes:
This new site coming soon, will be my personal baby, quite simply put - the site will consist of five major parts, Glamour/Gonzo, daily Webcam shows with I and my friends, Reality based media, Brea Bennett merchandise and Holistic/Spiritual sales, and finally my music! It would be folly and madness to go anywhere else for all things Brea, even to the Shadow Realm of Faerie.
Like any complex and multifaceted star, Bennett alternates between refering to herself in the first and third persons, like offering multiple angles on a Blu-Ray disc:
My new website is just the beginning of my sensational plans for 2008, including the launch of a clothing line, my band's continued touring schedule and the addition of Brea's Playhouse to this multi-talented beauty's growing empire. I, for one, and Gram, for two, am/is very excited! Both of us have/has been everwhere, and I/he always ask/asks Brea how she got started and how to get in the business. She replied that upcoming events are almost certain to make you almost famous:
Everywhere I go I am asked how did you get started? Do you have any advice? Can you please help me get into the industry…so I conjured up a venue to hold monthly talent searches this coming May and every month thereafter at hip night spot e4, in Scottsdale, Arizona with sponsor Playtime Magazine. It’s just a place where the lady’s can get a little crazy, and the ones who are serious have a chance to shoot with me, my company and my website…for almost certain exposure. Bennett's new site will go live shortly. Prepare yourself to be enchanted.
Previously: Porn makes squatting sexy
See also: Brea BennettLabels: "contract girls", brea bennett, hype, ninnworx, vivid, websites
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, February 05, 2008--
Ninnworx: Porn makes squatting sexy
 One of the most important things to learn, as a stripper or as an American, is to squat in high heels.
But it's difficult. Maybe not as difficult as merging a porn company with a string of gentlemen's clubs, as Ninnworx has done with Spearmint Rhino, but still difficult.
When I first saw Nikki Kane (above right) in this promo picture for her upcoming dance gigs with Ninnworx_SR, I thought that surely there was someone just out of frame who had used magnets to keep her stationary. But then I saw Renee Perez, who seems to be squatting without wires or bolts (though she could still be cemented there).
It occurred to me recently that one of our nation's most treasured stripper poses is the exact same position women in countries without our excellent universal healthcare system employ to deliver babies in the field.
You could say that stripping is like a mating dance, so that the squat, as exhibited here, is the end result of conception. I like to think that, too, and that their babies will be born melon-scented and covered in glitter.
Perez and Kane join Jana Jordan, Brea Bennett, and Cassidey (above) in Spearmint Rhino branded clubs like Rouge and the Blue Zebra throughout February. If you see Cassidey, please tell her she was the best thing about Debbie Loves Dallas.
Previously: 37 tips from a stripper
See also: Ninnworx, Spearmint RhinoLabels: nikki kane, ninnworx, renee perez, strippers
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, October 15, 2007--
In the House of Perez, there is no underwear
 Renee Perez is NinnWorx_SR's new contract performer.
In House of Perez, her coming out movie for the company, she is all black latex and boots, cavorting with the likes of Charlie Laine, Celeste Star, Georgia Jones, the troubled Sophia Lynn, and Sabrina Rose.
I don't know about you, but when I'm wearing a vinyl outfit and being shot with a purple backlight, my nipples get sweaty. I believe Perez must be some kind of auto-cooling robot, or ancient astronaut, or something.
You know the types of movies Michael Ninn produces, so here is a little quiz: Which of the following phrases did not appear in the press release?
- turns the lens on
- explores the boundaries of temptation
- passionate interludes
- seduction and sex
- fiery, insatiable
- intimate interviews
- intimate portrait
- Latin beauty
- erotic adventures
- dirtpipe milkshake
Previously: Rhino to get Ninn skin; Night of 101 Girls "Pleasant", "Good"; An Awkward conversation with Heather Vandeven about her rubberized vagina
See also: NinnworxLabels: "contract girls", geekery, latin, new porn daily, ninnworx, quiz
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, July 27, 2007--
Rhino to get Ninn skin
 Director Michale Ninn and NinnWorx have been contracted to art up the 34 worldwide locations of the Spearmint Rhino peeler chain, and the studio will function as the clubs' production arm.
I'm hoping that Spearmint Rhinos will become more Innocence Brat and less Sacred Sin, because who wants to go to a strip club and see someone raging around his apartment weeping about the death of his wife?
Full story on the next page.
 Ninn says that this deal, with its roots in meetings between himself and Spearmint Rhino owner John Gray at January's AVN Convention, includes NinnWorx contract performers Jana Jordan and Heather Vuur appearing at the clubs.
The partnership has resulted in the creation of a third company, NinnWorx_SR, which will be headquartered in the city of Norco in Riverside County.
Norco sounds like the soulless name of a company town, but it is actually short for "North Corona" - uninspired, but California is a big place, and you don't get a gem like "Hesperia" every day. In Norco, you can ride your horse to dinner, and many businesses have hitching posts.
Riverside County, famous for being a hotbed of despair, is now changing its image to a porn destination (though it is doubtful you will find that in Chamber of Commerce literature). The headquarters of Pornfidelity are just down the street in Corona.
NinnWorx has recently signed Lena Nicole to a contract, and for a while flirted with the idea of signing former Adam & Eve implosion Sophia Lynn. This will probably not happen due to a recurrence of the same things that scuttled her Adam & Eve deal, sources say.
Recent rumors of NinnWorx' financial instability are exaggerated and incorrect, say company spokespeople. The company co-sponsored its "Gathering" party last year with Eddie Van Halen in support of Sacred Sin. Van Halen went into rehab shortly thereafter, but I should have as well. That's how good the party was.
Previously: An awkward conversation with Heather Vandeven; In a white room with meat curtains; Good Friday at the Filth Factory
See also: Ninnworx, Spearmint RhinoLabels: business, heather vandeven, jana jordan, ninnworx, pornfidelity, strippers
posted by Gram the Man
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--Sunday, May 13, 2007--
He still likes to watch her walk away
 Here Otto Bauer checks out his spanking/life partner Audrey Hollander as she crosses the Filth Factory set. In a world where there is even desensitizing spray, it is important to let a natural reaction show up every now and then.
The reaction here is: "I want that on a plate with a glass of milk. Wait. Forget the milk. And the plate."
Bauer's Supercore line of products, 41 of which he purchased from previous distributor Mach 2, is now distributed by Ninn Worx.
Previously: Good Friday at the Filth Factory; Puttin' on the Filth; I'll see you on the dark side of Mika Tan
See also: Otto Bauer: Not A Conventional Marxist, Ninn WorxLabels: audrey hollander, directors, ninnworx, otto bauer
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, May 02, 2007--
"Hey! Hey Lady! Over here!"
 JazminMedia, the UK-based producer of Kinky Cock-Tales, has made a deal with Ninnworx for distribution of all of the company's content by whatever means necessary.
"Dead Sea scroll?" I asked.
"Right-o," they said.
"Subcutaneous chip?" I asked.
"Brilliant," they said.
"Mad cow?" I asked.
"Smashing," they said.
"400 years after the founding of the Jamestown Colony," I marvelled, "and this is how the language has evolved."
"Cor Blimey," they said.
The deal also includes DVD and VOD, for whatever that's worth.
Each Jazmin title is filmed based on an original score. I'm assuming the soundtrack to this scene involved a certain amount of rests.
As an anthropologist I am always fascinated with how other cultures "do it". It is apparent that the object of these two blokes' affection is dropping the ball, so to speak; she's missed her mouth with the one to the left and she is pointedly ignoring the bald fellow despite the fact that he keeps poking her in the cheek.
Previously: Cuntrol party, cunts in general; Hannah Harper: Passion is to magma as squirting is to lava
See also: Jazmin Media, NinnworxLabels: brits, dvd, jazmin media, ninnworx
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, May 01, 2007--
Sorry, but all you'll get is the sword
 Ninnworx and Woodman Entertainment are having a sales tournament for blessed artifacts from Pierre Woodman's Xcalibur, which received Best Director and Best Movie honors at this year's Brussels Erotica awards. Ninnworx is distributing the title in North America.
43rdpresidentoftheunitedstates asks: Grams, where's Brussels?
A: It is in Belgium, which is in Europe. Europe is famous for the 1986 hit "The Final Countdown".
This is not one of those contests where you submit your name and hope for the best; this requires you to do something.
The distributor with the highest total of 'Xcalibur' units purchased will receive the helmet and sword worn by Charlie Stygger as 'Arthur', based on invoiced orders. The top 'Xcalibur' retail sales winner will receive the 'Xcalibur' sword, used by Lancelot, portrayed by Georges Reno. Each will be accompanied by a certificate inscribed with authenticity information, specially designed for the winner by Ninn Worx creative team.
The contest is limited to distributors and retailers with US addresses only. For complete contest rules, contact Tom Deniro at sales@ninnworx.com.
Xcalibur is but the first of a trilogy. I hope later installments don't involve grail-based cum slurping, especially if I'm not paid for that awesome idea.
Previously: Hookers, Reality, Suicide; Cum Greed; Hotter than a Balrog
See also: Woodman Entertainment, Ninnworx, Utter the charm of making
Labels: contest, directors, dvd, geekery, ninnworx, pierre woodman, woodman entertainment
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 06, 2007--
Good Friday at the Filth Factory
 I visited Otto Bauer's Filth Factory 4 set. It was important for me to see how our nation's filth was produced, and if conditions were conducive to continued production.
I have always liked Audrey Hollander, even if Catherine made me weep bitter tears. She is one of the more striking people working. I think she looks better now than ever.
The scene called for her to be a dissolute souse. She was swigging from a bottle of
Goldschlager when her keeper/boyfriend, Harley, came home to find her drinking all his alcohol.
He began to spank her, but director Bauer wasn't pleased with the spanking.
"Don't make me come over there and spank her myself," he said. I think Harley wanted to go light on Hollander because she is Bauer's real-life partner.
"How long for the spanking?" Audrey asked.
"The only way you can get out of the spanking is after you've sufficiently begged to be fucked," Bauer said.
Harley is either Austrian or German. I am not the first person to compare his accent to Arnold Schwarzenegger's circa 1990.
"What is it you are doing?" Harley demanded, seeeing his precious Goldschlager draining away.
"I don't - " Hollander began.
"You know nothing! Nothing you know!"
Brilliant.
 Maya Hills was also in the movie. I was not there to see her scene. Suddenly I had a craving for Goldschlager.
 Sophie Dee, with whom I have an inalienable bond, thought it was important to pose outside. I think Van Nuys was better for it. Van Nuys has nothing in common with her native Wales, save for its bucolic countryside, fog-shrouded steeples, and dew-capped fields of heather.
 Meanwhile, Ashley Blue was inside, busy striking insouciant poses.
You can see that I forgot my camera. These photos, you see, are professional ones. I will credit the cameraman when I learn his name.
Previously: Puttin' on the Filth; I'll see you on the dark side of Mika Tan
See also: NinnworxLabels: "set visits", ninnworx, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, March 07, 2007--
Puttin' on the Filth
 Here are some photos from Otto Bauer's Filth Factory, featuring (l-r) Rebecca Linares, Audrey Hollander (note that the drapes indeed match the drapes), and Charlotte Stokely.
The veteran photographer Mario was taking stills, and frame 1 is the ladies at parade rest. Then he said, "I gonna count three and everybody give me the attitude, OK?"
Behold the attitude:
 You might say that Hollander did not change a thing, but I would say that you are a fool. She was born with attitude; it's not something you just slap on when a noble Hungarian takes your picture.
Previously: Belladonna in a haystack; Girls great despite untrustworthiness; Skater Bloody Skater; I'll see you on the dark side of Mika Tan
See also: NinnWorx
Labels: ninnworx, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, February 21, 2007--
Memphis Monroe reveals Dark Side on her head
 I refuse to believe corn-fed Memphis Monroe has a dark side, but how could she not if she is suddenly brunette? That is how we tell good from evil. That or if she started wearing sunglasses like when Hulk Hogan turned evil.
The Dark Side of Memphis Monroe features a post-Vivid, pre-Digital Playground Lacie Heart as well as Ana Nova and Mya Luanna.
 Despite the brunettitude I still had trouble with the thought of horse-loving Monroe being bad. Then I noticed that Hustler had used the Ninnworx font and it all made sense.
Previously: Pharaoh Porn; No one sucks the joy from my Mikla Tan; Heather Vuur is a good sport; Tales from the darkside of Mya Luanna; Backroads of Memphis;
See also: HustlerLabels: dvd, hustler, ninnworx, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Sunday, January 28, 2007--
No one sucks the joy from my Mika Tan
 Like Harry Potter's dementors, the NinnWorx group has the capacity to make, er, the sexual act seem dismal and bleak, devoid of pleasure and chock full o' despair. In that way they are also like a girlfriend I had from Brown.
Don't get me wrong; sometimes I am in the mood for just that sort of thing, but to cast the effervescent Mika Tan in Lorraine Sisco's Porn for People with Knotted Brows Façade seems like a challenge even Tan might not overcome.
But we'll see. Check out the trailer here.
Previously: I'll see you on the dark side of Mika Tan
See also: NinnworxLabels: dvds, ninnworx, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, January 23, 2007--
I'll see you on the dark side of Mika Tan
 It is difficult to comprehend that Mika Tan is anything but nice. That said, I must hold in my head the competing belief that everything Ninnworx says is true.
Thus we have Ninnworx' director Lorraine Sisco's Façade, starring Tan as "a power-hungry fetishist, who colors the dreary boredom of life with a vivid palate of sexual adventure and hedonism. Otto Bauer portrays the psychoanalyst that takes her driven libido into a clash between sex and power, man versus woman."
Oh my God. The very same thing just happened to me at 7-11. Why do I go to psychoanalysis at 7-11? Hint: It's the ranch dressing.
Here we examine the fetish of being eaten out by Nikki Benz while smoking and wearing funeral attire. I hear San Francisco has a whole street devoted to this.
Façade also stars Jenaveve Jolie, Daisy Marie, Kaiya Lynn, Alexis Love, Jerry, Ben English, Barry Scott, and Jean Val Jean.
Previously: Heather Vuur is a good sport; Open bar at the Van Halen place; Squirt and Ernie
See also: NinnworxLabels: ninnworx, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, December 13, 2006--
But is it good for the Jews? (pt. XXV)
 Perusing various Christmas-flavored titles I was struck by how under-represented The Chosen People are this time of year in the porn world, despite the fact that we own it.
There's Hustler's Christmas in Memphis, Ninnworx' Silent Night and, of course, Sin City's Big Titty Christmas.
Luckily, there's also Tightfit's Assraelis, which I'm hoping israeli good. (And if you click the link, you will see that prices are slashed!)
Assraelis was shot in Israel, near where the Christ Child was born. It contains public group sex footage which gives new meaning to the term "temple mount".
Now that the marketplace is open, I can finally release my masterpiece Goo Gobblin' Jewesses of Gehenna.
Previously: Girls, Corpses, Calendars, and the Jews; Next year in another casino; Rock, Stapp slap over cock flap
See also: Tightfit Productions
Labels: chosen, dvds, hustler, ninnworx, sin city, tightfit
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, November 16, 2006--
The wages of Sacred Sin is death
 As you know, I save my Instant Messenger conversations. I was chatting with a female friend who works in adult marketing and asked her if a porn movie that has as one of its plot points the death of a child would need to work extra hard to turn her on.
"Is that the movie with the fisting scene that everyone's up in arms about?" she asked, adding "Heh".
"No, that's Corruption," I said. "Corruption's the dead everybody, Sacred Sin is the dead most people but especially with the dead baby."
"Oh," she said. I pointed out that the party accompanying the release was phenomenal and that the DVD packaging was like the fourth installment of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Sacred Sin was still better than Catherine.
Read the review here.
Previously: Open bar at the Van Halen placeLabels: dvds, ninnworx, reviews
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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