| --Friday, July 25, 2008--
Sassy gets gassy
 While I don't usually cover Las Vegas filling station events, not only is the opportunity to write the headline Sassy Gets Gassy too hard to resist, but you'll also remember my strong commitment to finding you the lowest gas prices, even if you have to drive to Las Vegas in July to get them.
Radio personality Sassy Tease, host of Las Vegas' "Sex with Sassy" program, will be at the Speedee Mart on the corner of Swenson and Flamingo Saturday, July 26, from 11 to 3.
"Sassy will host this fun filled event and there will be other fun activities such as a "Sexy Car Wash" Contests, Gas Giveaways & more! A percentage of the proceeds from merchandise purchase from Sassy and the car wash will benefit Opportunity Village a Local Las Vegas Non-Profit Organization.
During the event Speed Mart will lower their gas prices and have the best gas prices in Las Vegas. They will also have drink specials, 25 Cents Hot Dogs and other specials. Monster will be there to give out product samples and Sassy will say hello and sign autographs, store guests, new and existing fans." So not only will Sassy sign autographs, but she will also sign store guests and existing fans.
I don't know why I got this press release. But sometimes bad press releases inspire me in the way that good ones do not, so it was as if the Intelligent Designer sent this to me Itself, because I then had the strength to find this online review of Speedee Mart from a diabetic disabled woman:
"An employee named Amanda (23-years old, obese, White) is rude to customers. On 5-24-08 Amanda was rude to me, a regular customer (over 50 and permanently wheelchair-bound), and so I left my purchases on the counter and started to leave without paying for them. Then Amanda told me that I was 86-ed. When I returned to explain why, she reitereated that I was 86-ed permanently. Yes, I threw a bit of a tantrum and told her that if she was going to 86 me permanently, then she could have the fountain drink that I didn't purchase and shoved it off her side of the counter.
In addition, this Speedee Mart is often out of hazelnut coffee." A former exotic dancer, Sassy Tease once sang with a member of the Platters. Let us hope that she can bring her star wattage to bear on the terrible hazelnut coffee scarcity they've got in Vegas.
In other news, I will be at the Dunkin Donuts on the corner of Hagler and Despair in Brockton, MA any given week night.
NOTE: Sssy Tease.com seems to have been hacked by steveporn kids.
Previously: Summer Haze wrestles for the dead; Al Goldstein running for president
See also: A street view of Swenson and Flamingo, with a guy there, too, Sex with SassyLabels: gas, hype, las vegas, non-events, steveporn
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, May 09, 2008--
Swiss offer no resistance
 Must be the cheese.
(Thanks to Mchael Brandvold of porn emporium Gamelink for forwarding the picture. See a larger version here.)
Previously: It's what's for dinner; Slam It in a Slut - from It's perspectiveLabels: Europe, fetish, found, hype, marital aids, switzerland
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, April 30, 2008--
Columbia Journalism Review addresses porn megaconglomerates
 With today's announcement that Magna Publishing, parent company of furtive, raincoat-wearing gentlemen's magazine Genesis, has purchased bestubbled, bathrobe-wearing gentlemen's magazine Gallery, media watchers are concerned that a large segment of print medium porn consumers will no longer be represented at the corner, cheap cigar-smelling news stand.
"This happened in 1994 when Sexonaut merged with Clam," said Columbia Journalism Review manging editor Darren Perch-Tounge, "and suddenly a whole generation of gentlemen who smelled like their dogs and day-old despair was voiceless.
"Notice the number agreement of 'generation' and 'was'," Perch-Tounge added. "That's the difference between us and the Middlesex Community College Journalism Review."
As in the world of mainstream media mergers and acquisitions, today's announcement by Magna Publishing, which also purchased the magazines and websites related to Fox and Lollypops, sent ripples of concern through populations fearing they will be underserved by the new monopoly.
"Mmmmm. Pussy," one vagrant said.
"The vagrant is right," Perch-Tounge agreed. "What does a celebrity publisher like Tera Patrick (Genesis) or Stormy Daniels (Velvet) know about the needs of the average Gallery reader who just wants to masturbate to pictures of Oklahoma housewives?"
Perch-Tounge noted that the decline of the DVD and the increase in oil prices are only going to make mergers more common in the coming months.
"You need trucks to drive those magazines to the nation's 7-11s and Store 24s," he said. "And when Rupert Murdoch buys AVN and XBiz next week, there goes the audience for interpretive DVD sales charts."
Previously: Report: Stormy Daniels appears on magazine cover; Tera Patrick: The new black
See also: Genesis Online, The Gallery of Forgotten Girlie MagazinesLabels: "stormy daniels", business, genesis, hype, jenna jameson, tera patrick, trademags
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 18, 2008--
Verbatim: marketing your product in porn
 Everyone needs marketing (and a car) in California, and porn stars are no different. When an adult performer or product has reached critical mass, it is necessary that a publicist be hired to sell him, her, or it within the porn industry.
You might think that the porn industry needn't be alerted, because no one in the porn industry has the need to buy these products, but having a publicist is a status symbol. You might also say that the press releases quoted below might have to be heavily edited before they are published, but that's not the point, either.
The following press releases arrived this week.
- Spears' literate screenplay focuses on the story of Tess and Linda, two sisters (both played by Daniels) whose lives couldn't have taken more divergent paths. Tess is shy and demure, and Linda is a rebellious hellion. Yet while their personalities couldn't be more dissimilar, the worlds they inhabit soon become inexorably linked in a web of madness and murder, and ultimately collide in a shocking, wholly unexpected twist ending. For her part, Daniels enthusiastically describes this intricately designed, carefully shaded dual role as having more dramatic depth than anything she's attempted before as a performer.
- Being bathed in the adoration of her devoted fans is nothing new or unusual for HellHouse Media's latest contract star Moxxie Maddron. Being bathed in unrelenting sunshine in a lush tropical climate just might be! Nevertheless, the newest addition to the ever growing empire of HellHouse is willing to brave the weather, however warm and lovely it might be, to make her debut appearance for Genesis Magazine at this year's EXXXOTICA Miami show.
- It has been one year since Silver Sinema launched it’s highly successful DVD line. Distributed by (PPM) Pure Play Media, the DVD Line has thus far delivered what it promised.
- Eli Cross is directing a very unique show for SexZ Pictures specifically designed for contract star Hillary Scott. Legitimate members of the media only are invited to cover this shoot.
- By day Tera will man the Teravision booth and will be joined by AVN “Performer of the Year” Sasha Grey, Charmane Star and other sexy stars of Teravision hits like Broken, Teradise Island 2 and XXXBox. In additions to photos, autographs and meeting thousands of fans, Tera will play hostesses to the weekend’s hottest party.
- Melrose Avenue in Hollywood has become famous as the place where movie stars and stylish people shop for the latest trendy fashions. April 20, 2008 is date when porn and fashion collide!
Previously: Jameson further distances herself from adult world via spelling; Free to Bree O or E; Gram saves steveporn's credibilityLabels: hype, sic, verbatim
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 04, 2008--
Report: Brea Bennett witch, rock star, designer
 Former Vivid Girl and current NinnWorx contract performer Brea Bennett has many irons in the cauldron, including her redesigned website, which will be a clearinghouse for her myriad talents.
She writes:
This new site coming soon, will be my personal baby, quite simply put - the site will consist of five major parts, Glamour/Gonzo, daily Webcam shows with I and my friends, Reality based media, Brea Bennett merchandise and Holistic/Spiritual sales, and finally my music! It would be folly and madness to go anywhere else for all things Brea, even to the Shadow Realm of Faerie.
Like any complex and multifaceted star, Bennett alternates between refering to herself in the first and third persons, like offering multiple angles on a Blu-Ray disc:
My new website is just the beginning of my sensational plans for 2008, including the launch of a clothing line, my band's continued touring schedule and the addition of Brea's Playhouse to this multi-talented beauty's growing empire. I, for one, and Gram, for two, am/is very excited! Both of us have/has been everwhere, and I/he always ask/asks Brea how she got started and how to get in the business. She replied that upcoming events are almost certain to make you almost famous:
Everywhere I go I am asked how did you get started? Do you have any advice? Can you please help me get into the industry…so I conjured up a venue to hold monthly talent searches this coming May and every month thereafter at hip night spot e4, in Scottsdale, Arizona with sponsor Playtime Magazine. It’s just a place where the lady’s can get a little crazy, and the ones who are serious have a chance to shoot with me, my company and my website…for almost certain exposure. Bennett's new site will go live shortly. Prepare yourself to be enchanted.
Previously: Porn makes squatting sexy
See also: Brea BennettLabels: "contract girls", brea bennett, hype, ninnworx, vivid, websites
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, March 27, 2008--
Lou & Amy & Joe & Evanka: Coming to terms with your celebrity sex tape
 Two couples, both alike in dignity
In Chatsworth and Long Island where we lay our scene
From ancient scandal break to new celebrity
Which one deems wholesome and the other obscene
Joey Buttafuoco said, "I didn't know the place was wired for cameras."
Lou Bellera, husband of Amy Fisher, said, "We wanted to make a video of a couple in love."
Both men and their wives were the stars of sex tapes released within three months of each other, distributed by the same company, Red Light District, that sold sex tapes of Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, and "Saved By the Bell"'s Dustin "Screech" Diamond.
But only one couple admits they did it on purpose. Bellera and Fisher shot their movie in front of a stationary camera Bellera had set up in their home and rented ones on Long Island. The Buttafuocos claim they were literally caught on tape in May, 2007.
"Here's how it happened," Evanka Buttafuoco, 45, told me. "Joseph had been out of jail for a month and we went over (adult director) Rob Spallone's house for a barbecue. (Spallone) was shooting something down by the pool and he had release forms that everyone entering the house had to sign. So we signed them. It was a standard thing like when you go to a club and have to sign a 'You may appear on film' form."
Evanka told me this after I had already watched the movie and had determined that it had been staged.
"So - and this was my fault - I wanted to take Joseph upstairs for a quickie, and we just searched around upstairs," Evanka said.
"And that was the room (Spallone) had set up with webcams or whatever," Joey Buttafuoco said.
The couple have a 40-minute sex scene, Evanka in high heels and leading the action. Joey, 52, seems grateful. He says "I love you" several times. This is the part that's real.
Spallone, so the story went, later combed through the "webcam" footage and discovered the Buttafuocos' tryst, and sold it to Red Light District using the blanket permission of the releases the Buttafuocos had signed on entering.
 I met the Buttafuocos on Hollywood Boulevard. We talked outside the Jimmy Kimmel Show theatre.
"So that wasn't staged?" I asked.
"No," Joey said. "We had no idea."
Joey met Evanka when the latter brought her friends' Land Rover into his Chatsworth car shop. He gave her his card, which didn't list his last name. Having worked for 17 years in car repossessions, Evanka exhausted most of the means at her disposal to turn up any information about him, but found nothing. Finally, when he took her to dinner, she first heard the story of Amy Fisher, "The Long Island Lolita."
"But that is so far behind us now," Evanka said. "Everybody is friends now. We just had dinner with Lou and Amy and we wish them the best."
Since losing his business for insurance fraud - resulting in the jail time that ended just before the filming of their tape - Joey has been a host on the Internet radio station Let's Talk Recovery.
"I've been sober since 1988," Buttafuoco said. "I didn't even use (drugs) all through 1992 and everything that happened then."
Because of the tools he learned to use in his recovery, Buttafuoco said, the release of the sex tape hasn't sent him over the edge.
"I'm the only one who's mad at Rob Spallone," Evanka said. "Joey's still friends with him."
Rob Spallone did not respond to e-mail requests for his side of the story.
After meeting the Buttafuocos, who were a charming couple, I watched the tape again and knew without a doubt that it had been staged. Webcam technology has not evolved to the point that it is capable of complex zooms.
"Yeah, they had a guy with a camera at the foot of the bed," a source with knowledge of the filming of "Joey Buttafuoco: Caught on Tape" said. "Maybe they just wanted some documentation of this time in their lives. Evanka's pretty hot."
Celebrity sex tapes are cheap to produce and, by virtue of their "caught on tape" marketing, are forgiven for any technical glitches. Paris Hilton's 1 Night in Paris sold millions but appeared to have been shot using the night vision goggles from "Silence of the Lambs." Vivid's Kim Kardashian: Superstar tape sold very well for the company despite having very little actual sex in it.
One element of celebrity sex tape culture is deniability. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton both have disavowed knowledge that their tapes were being marketed by the rapper Ray J. and Rick Salomon, respectively.
Accepting money for appearing in a sex tape can be swept under the rug by denying you knew the tape was being made (Hilton) or that it would be sold (Kardashian and the Buttafuocos), because the bigger shame in a cool-obsessed culture is appearing to be attention-seeking.
 But Fisher and Bellera embrace their sex tape, as evidence by quotes like the following:
"I look even better in person than I did on the video," Bellera, 55, said. "But Amy looks great no matter what."
Every commercial porn title must gather signed documentation that its stars are over 18 and that they have agreed to be filmed for the working title of the movie in question. They must also provide identification like driver's licenses. Every "reality" porn, from Couples Seduce Teens to Bang Boat to (to a lesser degree) Girls Gone Wild has a file cabinet full of performer releases stating that each actor knew what was happening.
That the Buttafuocos didn't knowingly provide this information would have been grounds for a fantastic lawsuit if the events of May, 2007 had happened as the couple said they had.
"We came to a settlement (with Rob Spallone and Red Light District)," Joey Buttafuoco told me that day. "That's why we're more or less actively promoting the movie."
 From Long Island, Amy Fisher talks about her own sex tape (which, according to the managers of several local video stores and online outlets like Gamelink and Adult DVD Empire, is easily outselling the Buttafuoco tape) as a cathartic experience.
"People come up to me and tell me how good it was," she said. "People seek me out. A lot of my publicity because of 1992 (both couples use "1992" as shorthand) has been negative, but this has really been positive."
Bellera and Fisher have promoted the tape extensively and in only a few occasions, Bellera says, have interviewers failed to be polite.
"We tell people that we want to talk about today and to be positive," Bellera said. "And I establish ground rules before every interview." Fisher walked off the set of the Howard Stern show when the shock jock took a call from Joey Buttafuoco's still-sngry daughter.
"But we cleared that one up later," Bellera said.
 Both couples know that their celebrity is not from Buttafuoco's Internet radio job or Fisher's post-prison stint as a Long Island newspaper columnist, but both try not to dwell on the source of the celebrity that made their sex tapes a marketable commodity.
"Anything having to do with my 'story', so to speak, I can never earn a dime on," Fisher said. "I have learned through the years to make lemonade out of those lemons. I keep a positive attitude and make the best out of what I have to work with."
But why the Buttafuocos denied knowing their romp was being recorded and the Lou Belleras freely admitted it seems odd. Maybe the Buttafuocos weren't happy with the finished result and wanted to disavow it? They shouldn't have - they seem like they're very happy together.
"I suppose it'll be good to look back when I'm 70 and say 'My 45-year-old ass looked good,'" said Evanka.
Previously: Kim Kardashian Superstar; Screeched; Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape; Amy Fisher and Lou Bellera: How to quit worrying and learn to love your sex tape
See also: Amy Fisher, Joey ButtafuocoLabels: "red light district", amy fisher, celebrity, evanka buttafuoco, hype, interviews, joe francis, joey buttafuoco, kim kardashian, legal, lou bellera, paris hilton, vivid
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, March 20, 2008--
Thomas Aquinas becomes Digital Playground contract saint
 Digital Playground, the award-winning studio and leading provider of world-class content to Aristotelian reasoning, is pleased to announce it has signed an exclusive deal with Thomas Aquinas(TM), making the Doctor Angelicus the studio's newest contract saint to illuminate the prestigious roster.
Aquinas will make his Dominican/Franciscan debut in second quarter 2008. The portly, dark-complected theologian will also star in the upcoming "Summa Theologica II: Summa Summa Theologica," the highly anticipated treatise published by Digital Playground's award-winning Eclesiastical Philosophy division in collaboration with the University of Naples.
"Sounds like 'Nipples,'" joked Pope Urban IV.
Samantha Lewis, Digital Playground CEO comments, "When I initially encountered Aquinas' teachings about the nature of angels I loved that he had such clear cut and defined ideas about their ability to move from point A to point B without passing through anything in between. We strive to make all our contract saints to not appear like they've sustained any damage. Aquinas is simple, a methodical thinker, and has no qualms about all that it takes to make his case before the Second Council of Lyons, where me and Joone hope he will reconcile the Greek and Latin churches and Tera Patrick. I look forward to working very closely with St. Thomas and helping him to grow a prestigious career at Digital Playground along with Sts. Augustine(TM), Ambrose(TM), Jerome(TM), Gregory(TM) and Riley Saint Eele(TM). We welcome Thomas Aquinas as our newest contract saint and look forward to presenting him to the canonical court at Avignon."
Thomas Aquinas(TM) comments, "Digital Playground is the only company that can launch my career almost overnight. Its owners and staff are dedicated to creating saints. I'm impressed that quality and branding are the objective; our goals are the same - to define the Trinity in simple and unconfusing terms, free of the Sophia Santi heresy. This is a dream come true, I am so happy to be Digital Playground's newest theological scholar and to have the opportunity to work with Samantha and Joone on 'Pirates II.'"
Joone, Digital Playground Founder and award-winning director confirms, "A truly unexpected find, Thomas Aquinas(TM) is the total package. He is smart, pious, overflows with self-confidence, and knows that nothing is in the intellect that was not first in the senses, as we ourselves have stated in the series Jack's Big Ass Show. We love that he is fresh, ambitious, and has goals that pertain to international acceptance of Christ and Blu-Ray. We are pleased to have Thomas Aquinas(TM) as our newest contract saint and encourage our fans to have a beatification-off in his honor!"
Added Aquinas(TM), who died in 1274, "I'm wondering how many starlets can dance on the head of my cock."
Previously: Digital Playground's cavalcade of synonyms
See also: Digital Playground announces exclusive deal with Gabriella FoxLabels: "contract girls", Digital Playground, hype, jesus, riley steele, stoya
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, March 07, 2008--
Mug shot revisited
 Since performer Kurt Lockwood's return to the porn industry after announcing his retirement last September, he has been appearing in transsexual and bisexual videos. According to friends, "he has been telling everyone he is only doing gay movies from now on."
But unless anything has changed in Lockwood's understanding of himself from one year ago this week, he only plays a gay man in movies.
On March 1, 2007, I arrived at the set of a movie only to be attacked by an irate Lockwood, who said I'd called him a "fag." He shoved me several times in the middle of the street, and I halfheartedly broke my thermos of lukewarm coffee on his glasses.
The cash-strapped production (the company went out of business soon after the movie was released), rather than boot Lockwood off the set, instead demanded that I and a blogger named Luke Ford leave, lest Lockwood become more upset.
It turns out I had arrived as the movie's director, Jennifer James, was trying to calm Lockwood down from a previous threat he had made against the manager of the filming location. The manager hadn't allowed Lockwood's dog in the building and Lockwood threatened to kick his ass.
The day was already going poorly for Kurt. He was an hour late and had just been told by Bo Kenney, owner of SexZ Pictures, that Lockwood's "The Real Boogie Nights" was unsalvageable, containing whole pages of dialogue plagiarized from P.T. Anderson's 1998 "Boogie Nights" and, according to a SexZ director, being "almost unrecognizable as a movie."
While there are a number of lifestyle heterosexual male performers who are "gay for pay," appearing in the (on the whole) more lucrative gay movies, Lockwood's boastful demeanor and frequent chatboard feuds with other adult industry employees drew criticism and scorn aimed at deflating his ego. Among these were numerous accusations of Lockwood's own homosexuality with liberal doses of the word "fag."
Unfortunately for me - otherwise I would have known what was coming - I had never called Lockwood a fag.
But I had written that, for a person who was once a go go dancer at gay clubs, who appeared in "pegging" movies, who had performed in all-male films aimed at gay consumers in the early part of his porn work and who, even in his stalled music career as "Stevie Sexyxrist," had appeared in flamboyant drag, it seemed unseemly for him to act surprised that people might suggest he might be gay himself and downright weird for him to protest his heterosexuality so violently.
I had the chance to tell Luke Ford he did not have my permission to post the video he said he'd taken of the assault, but he posted it as soon as he got home. I was driving to another set, irritated with James and freaked out by Lockwood's behavior, when I got a call from a former L.A. Times reporter who told me the video was on the web.
This is when the story evolved from something that could be dealt with privately in a day or two to something I still hear about. I filed battery charges against Lockwood with the L.A.P.D. Rampart Division and consulted a lawyer about suing the company that had allowed a demonstrably violent person to continue working after attacking an invited member of the press.
The lawyer correctly predicted that the company would have no money to pay me, "but there's a case there if you want one."
The day of the assault, Ford wrote Lockwood to ask him for his side of the story. Lockwood wrote back: "You're next."
Lockwood's friends, the performers Jack Lawrence and Josh Hunter, both speculated to me that Lockwood thought I was Ford, who had also never called him a fag but who had printed more defamatory material on his former website.
But I did not believe this, as I'd heard Kurt ask Jennifer James who I was before he started shoving.
I kept notes of my interviews with city employees and they gave me details of their conversations with James and Lockwood.
Lockwood was questioned by an L.A.P.D. detective two weeks after the incident. He brought the shirt that he'd taken off in the street, said that I'd burned him with coffee, and filed a battery charge against me. This was immediately dismissed.
Meanwhile, Jennifer James had called me to apologize, saying it was not her decision to have me kicked off the set. "My hands were tied," she said.
She had never given me any reason to believe her before; I'd determined after James had lied to me in an interview I'd published that I would never give her any publicity again, but I'd changed my mind, and then regretted it.
The movie's producer, a newcomer calling himself Brian Scott, also wrote me and offered to take me to dinner. I wrote back and asked him his real name and the physical address of his business. He didn't contact me again.
James was then interviewed by the L.A.P.D. She admitted that Lockwood had already appeared "out of control" earlier in the morning and that when he had gone after me, James was in the process of trying to calm him down.
When James was asked why she chose to have me and Ford leave the set rather than send Lockwood home, she said that the budget wouldn't allow it. Producer Scott said Lockwood couldn't be replaced that quickly, and the location had already been paid for. Later, James told others that she had "written the part" for Kurt and that, after the distractions had been sent away, he had done a "sizzling" scene.
In the coming months I dealt with two representatives of the City of Los Angeles. Both in their turn seemed at times bemused, fascinated, and repelled by the workings of the adult business.
The detective conducting the initial interviews, Dollie Swanson, would give me updates. She seemed, at times, shocked at the way people conducted themselves in the porn industry.
"In any other business people would bend over backwards to make sure you didn't write anything bad about them," Swanson told me after talking with James. "These people are on these chatboards all the time, getting into it."
I said that in a business where the margins are so small and where one director's product looked a lot like another's, any publicity is good publicity.
Swanson told me that Lockwood brought her printouts of my work - or had searched a computer in her presence - and was still not able to find evidence of my having called him a fag.
But performer Kami Andrews had. She'd had dealings with Lockwood and called him a fag, on my site, when she wrote a guest column while I was on vacation. But it was clearly marked that she was the writer.
"I find no evidence of your having called him that," she told me, "but there is enough on your site that clearly derides him about his sunglasses, and someone would be able to tell that you're making fun of him."
Lockwood told Swanson that sometimes others, such as girlfriends, wrote posts for him on chatboards. He said that the porn industry was homophobic and that it would not give him work if people thought he was gay.
"Is this true?" Swanson asked me.
I pointed out that since the incident, people had been mailing me undoctored photos of Lockwood in situations a reasonable person might call gay. These included pictures of his former band and some DVD covers. I also said that , whether or not it was true of Kurt's orientation, "gay" was a word that people used in the adult business to describe him - but not necessarily pejoratively.
I said that I don't think people call the director Chi Chi LaRue a fag, and she has often directed on the straight side of porn. I said that I didn't think people cared.
But, I said, it was not his sexuality that people had trouble with. It was this business of freaking out on people. I suggested that it was Lockwood who was sensitive about his sexuality, and that he shouldn't be.
But even if certain directors would no longer hire him for his belligerent behavior, enough would continue working with him because he's a handsome dude and fans like him.
"I'm looking at some of these stories on the websites," she said, "and it doesn't seem like you can really get blacklisted enough to keep someone from hiring you."
The police obtained statements from Abby Ehmann, who was with me on the set, from blogger and director Mike South, whom Lockwood had assaulted at the AVN Expo, and from radio host Wankus, whom Lockwood had assaulted - also on the "you called me a fag" pretext - at a memorial service for the director Jim Holliday.
Detective Swanson waded through Lockwood's extensive digital paper trail of heated backs and forths with detractors. The case was kicked up to Civil Court.
By this point I was wondering why the two major adult "news" organizations, AVN and XBiz, had not done a story about an assault on a movie set involving a well-known director, a well-known performer, and a former employee of both their companies. XBiz finally wrote something on March 12.
Then James and Scott went to various websites saying that people like me should not write whatever they wanted with impunity and that I should apologize for disrupting the set of the movie. Lockwood told XBiz that sldiers were dying in Iraq and people interested in this story should get a life.
The backlash against James, Scott, and Lockwood was immediate, harsh, and educational. But James, having hired publicist Jeff Mullen for the movie, marketed it as "porn's most dangerous movie" and capitalized on the assault.
I wrote Mullen that I would not print any of his press releases until he had distanced himself from James, which he has.
Other than people connected with the movie, the only person I know of who defended the production's actions in asking me to leave was the late Jim Holliday's friend, former porn performer Bill Margold.
The 60-something Margold comes from a time when porn was illegal, and believes in the strong bonds of something he calls "The Family of X."
Of my decision to call the cops he wrote:
"Obviously the man is clueless when it comes to matters of honor and loyalty toward a business that allows him to butter his daily bread." He went on to relate a story about working as a juvenile corrections officer and shaming tattlers rather than dealing with the people they told on. I do think the honor and loyalty approach is effective for organizations like the Mob, where there is an internal system of controls, but I didn't see any self-regulation happening on the set that day. Also, the Mob makes money - this movie lost it.
Margold works for an escort ad newspaper called the LAXPress. I'd been e-mailed one of their covers last summer that clearly identified the performer Hillary Scott as a hooker named Tiffany. I called the paper, said who I was, and was put on hold. The person who picked up the phone next had a familiar voice, but did not identify himself, but began lecturing immediately.
"You need to understand that when you allow your picture to be taken and you sign that release, that image doesn't belong to you," he said. "People can use it for anything."
"Is this Bill Margold?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Uh huh. Now, you know that's Hillary Scott, right? And not Tiffany the hooker?"
"Yes."
Family of X...
I was then interviewed by Deputy City Attorney Cydney Bensimon. Lockwood was supposed to be there with me but the City sent his notice to the wrong address. By that time - early April of 2007 - I had compiled my own evidence of Lockwood's behavior towards others and, for good measure, had brought printouts of some of his work that might be construed as gay.
"...but you know that doesn't matter," Bensimon said.
"Well, yes, but - "
"You could tell him his mother wears Army boots; he still has no right to hit you," she said.
She indicated to me that the case was probably not going anywhere; did I think I was in danger? Had Lockwood tried to contact me?
"Nope. Not even to apologize. But if he's the type of person who tries to beat up someone who didn't call him something, what might he try to do to all the people who actually did?"
"When I talk to him I will try to determine if he will do this sort of thing again."
I told her that I was concerned that, because Lockwood had lied to the detective (there was no way he got burned with coffee; I should know, because most of it had landed on me), any contrition he demonstrated (Lockwood and I were both raised Catholic) might similarly be an act.
"We'll see."
At the end of May I got a call from Attorney Bensimon. She had met with Lockwood on May 14.
"I'm not going forward with the claim," she said. "He admits he hit you, he admits he was out of control, he feels like a jerk for what he did. He's sorry."
I asked about a paper trail.
"He's in the system, but there is no 'criminal record' per se," she said. "There's no filing or conviction.
"He's going to be 38 in a week," she said. "How many years do any of these people have in your business?"
Well, several.
"I don't think he wants anything to do with you," she said.
The case was over, and the hubbub had died down. Still, whenever I see certain people they say "Call me a fag now!"
I tried several times to get Kurt Lockwood to talk for this story. I left two phone messages with numbers I'd been given, and at least three e-mails. I then mentioned it to a friend of his, and CCd him on this e-mail:
I congratulated Lockwood on the recent birth of his son, and mentioned that I had a new son in 2007, too.
...But we have some unfinished business. Whatever you were going through that day (or that year) should have not had anything to do with me, and you have not once apologized, publicly or privately, for it. Further, the police are aware you lied to them. Not that that matters (as we've seen), but I'm wondering if you want a forum to tell the truth. And I would like your apology to be part of it.
As you know, the story of that day got to be bigger than my getting jumped on the way to work. There were issues of how people cover their butts (figuratively) in this business as well as how profit margins are so low that they affect decision-making. We both know you should have been sent home that day, but they couldn't afford it. Now that company is bankrupt.
But I think it would do well for your image - and I know you're concerned about it, else you wouldn't have done what you did - to talk about the difference between gay and bi and gay for pay - and if any of those terms really mean anything anymore. I've noticed that you are venturing into the tranny/bi market again; I think you have an opportunity for that "legacy" (I think that was the word) you mentioned in your farewell AVN article to address the differences/similarities between porn and private life.
What do you think? No reply.
So Lockwood is working again, Jennifer James can be seen at various events with a camera, ostensibly in the process of prepping a reality show, and the company that made the movie no longer has a website save for a MySpace page that hasn't been updated. The movie came and went. A salesperson at the company that distributed the DVD told me that it did not sell many copies.
"The Real Boogie Nights," the movie that Lockwood was told wouldn't be released, actually was released with some intercession on the part of Ron Jeremy with his pal, P.T. Anderson.
I've started speaking to Jeff Mullen again because he thinks he's going to Hell anyway, so why bother being mad? I feel the same about Luke Ford, who also sort of retired from porn.
I am grateful to Abby Ehmann, Wankus, and especially Mike South for giving me a little perspective in the early days, as well as the myriad chatboard commenters who were a wealth of information. Darcy Alison (now of Videobox) and Justin Berthelsen of Gamelink also provided support in the form of the first of several replacement thermoses that came in the mail the next few weeks.
And I don't have anything against Lockwood. This is a hard business to be in sometimes; fame comes a lot easier than anywhere else, but it is directly proportional to scrutiny, and the scrutiny is fierce. The detective told him to stop reading stories about him if they get him so mad, but in case he's reading: No one cares about your orientation. You have a good shot at a worthwhile third act.
I had told Detective Swanson that, when I started writing about porn, it was with the thought that I would eventually write a book about it. After a year I lost interest in writing the type of book everyone seems to write about porn; wide-eyed, titillated, sardonic and dismissive. But after this situation started playing itself out I've been thinking about it again.
I will call it "Eon McKai."
One of the last things Attorney Bensimon said before she closed the case on myself and Lockwood shocked me, because it reduced everyone to the same (non-binding) judgment:
"I think you're both nice men."Labels: hillary scott, hype, jennifer james, kurt lockwood, legal, mike south, trademags, wankus
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, February 21, 2008--
Report: Purchases of "Gene Simmons" sex tape limited to people who already find Gene Simmons repugnant
 The triumph of the "Gene Simmons" sex tape is that, even though the dude in the video doesn't really look like the Kiss buffoon, people believe that Simmons would be delusional enough to release such an unflattering movie, so it might be him after all.
See how it works? Simmons is meta all the way to the bank.
I think of Peter Criss' "Beth":
Beth, I hear you calling
But I can't come home right now
(You see) Me and the boys are playing
And we just can't find the sound (not surprising, considering it's Kiss)
Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them calling -
Beth, what can I do?
It is tragic that the only useful member of that band was also incapable of having the balls to stay home with poor, long-suffering Beth. That he "thought" he heard the boys calling and then was spineless enough to ask for her advice only cements my opinion that proximity to Gene Simmons makes everyone abhorrent.
Everyone with a website has written about the purported Gene Simmons sex tape (AVN got it first) but no one has said it was good. The man's partner refuses to kiss him - three times - and both look off to the left side of the bed, perhaps to see themselves in the monitor.
The radio plays power ballads by Foreigner and Steve Perry. Yes, you should've been gone.
 But whether Simmons is good at what he does or not has never been the point. Meta celebrity means never having to be good at something.
So it seems that the only people forking over the 30 bucks to the Panama-based site hosting the tryst (allegedly) between Simmons and an Austrian (not Australian) sports drink spokesmodel are pundits, because nobody actually likes the movie, which is like the sexual equivalent of the Daniel Pearl video.
Then we get to wonder if the man in the video is actually Simmons, and with each speculation, somewhere money is accruing interest in someone's offshore bank account.
Here is a Terry Gross interview with Simmons, in which the latter just sounds like an ass.
Listening to this broadcast reminds me of people in porn who, like Simmons, chuckle at their own well-rehearsed soundbites while their interviewers throw up a little in their mouths.
It's such a train wreck that Yes, that might actually be Gene Simmons with that poor girl. Either that or a posthumous Wayne Newton.
(ADDENDUM: I contacted Jon Stevens, whose e-mail was provided as the administrative contact of the domain genessecret.com- thought the registrar was listed as Roberrto Rodriguez. Mr. Sevens said:
The man is gene simmons, the girl is one of Franks Energy drink's girls, believed to be Elsa.
we believe gene has given permission to broadcast.) -emphasis added- Calling Dr. Love (to Please Euthanize Us) - Fleshbot
See also: Gene's SecretLabels: "gene simmons", celebrities, commentary, hype, just wrong, meta
posted by Gram the Man
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--Sunday, January 06, 2008--
Amy Fisher and Lou Bellera: How to quit worrying and love your celebrity sex tape
 "Well, honey, I have something to tell you."
Amy Fisher and Lou Bellera were having marital problems in April of 2007. They had separated and divorce papers had been filed when Bellera read that she was again seeing Joey Buttafuoco.
"I was buying flowers for her one day, hoping to reconcile, and I saw it in the New York Post," Bellera said. That gave him an idea.
After the gap: Bellera's unlikely scheme to win Fisher back.
"People know me," Bellera, an event producer and wedding videographer, said. "I've got to listen to people talking about what they see in the Post? Eight years we've been together, two children? Now this?
"I thought, 'She embarrasses me, I'll embarrass her back.'"
Bellera, now 57, had been making home sex tapes with Fisher, 25 years his junior, for a few years. Now he planned to share them with a wide audience.
"They were intended entirely for our own enjoyment," he said, "until this happened.
"I contacted Red Light District and made a deal."
Red Light District has made millions distributing Paris Hilton's sex tape as well as those of Pamela Anderson and Dustin "Screech" Diamond.
Didn't Fisher have to sign anything?
 "I didn't give a shit one way or the other," Bellera said. "They (Red Light District) said everything was cool, whether or not they had the right to."
Soon after Bellera made the deal, he and Fisher reunited. It was then that he told her.
"She told me what she'd been up to. I said, 'Well, honey, I have something to tell you.' You can imagine that didn't go over too well.
"She started screaming and yelling. Finally, I said, 'I'm not O.J. - I didn't kill you.'"
Bellera and Fisher met on Match.com. He didn't realize who she was until they were sitting across from each other at dinner.
"And at that point it didn't matter," he said. "She's intelligent, she's beautiful. And she's very low key, believe it or not."
The sex tapes were made at home and at locations around the south shore of Long Island.
"And maybe they're not the highest quality," Bellera said, "maybe they're not white-balanced in every scene, but they're real."
 Despite Bellera's humility, the couple's video effort is the most effective celebrity sex tape available due to its rigid adherence to pornic standards as set forth in the Barcelona Council of 1997.
Bellera said that Red Light president David Joseph proclaimed what would become Amy Fisher: Caught on Tape to be the best celebrity sex tape he'd ever seen.
But what about Fisher's alleged lawsuit? Was that a publicity stunt?
"Red Light settled with Amy," Bellera said. "They now own AmyFisher.com, too, which I originally owned. Since it's out there already and it's getting such a big response, she's getting used to the idea. She resigned herself to go with it."
In fact, Fisher is now taking an active part in the tape's publicity; she will be appearing at this week's Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas at the Red Light District booth. Bellera will be with her.
The silver-haired Bellera is proud of his work, and Fisher.
"It keeps you young, having a young wife," he said. "It motivates you to not turn to that retirement mentality.
"I'm a physical specimen for my age," he said. "If a guy stays in shape and takes pride in his appearance, that breaks a social taboo, to have an older guy in a porno."
Bellera said there is a dditional footage but he is keeping silent about the possibility of releasing it, or even making more movies now that Fisher is on board.
"The possibilities exist," he said, "but we'll see."
Previously: Amy Fisher Caught on Tape; Gram Ponante announces the Oscars of porn
See also: Amy FisherLabels: "red light district", amy fisher, celebrity, hype, interviews, lou bellera, MILF
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, December 17, 2007--
Instigator redux: On the edge of a rainbow in the dark
 Earlier in our lives together I told you about Moxxie Maddron and The Instigator, a movie that sounded a bit like the plot of a ZZ Top video. Well, I've finally seen the movie and I can tell you that parts are actually more like a Whitesnake video which, for my money (not that I paid for it), is a better value.
Of further interest is the soundtrack by the band Lynam, who have cleverly (or not so cleverly) claimed to be the children of Stevie Nicks and Ronnie James Dio. Since my real name is Ronnie James Dio, I found this factoid compelling. Turns out it's not true and the band is shocked anyone believed the joke.
Not that this is a story of James Frey or JT LeRoy proportions, but in my defense I offer that the best thing about a band that would allow itself to be photographed air-playing on the back of a flatbed (The Instigator has a Lynam video as a bonus scene!) is that fake backstory. "Of course the rock and roll foster children of Ronnie James Dio and Stevie Nicks would be reduced to this," I thought. At least I can still believe that Avy Lee Roth is DLR's daughter.
Read the review here.Labels: dio, hype, moxxie maddron, pop, reviews
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, November 12, 2007--
Amy Fisher: "I always wawnted to be a pawn staw"
 Regardless of whether celebrity sex tapes are any good - and the ones I've seen are not - they sell huge.
I was dismayed to learn that the Kim Kardashian video is the most rented tape in many Los Angeles stores. I would like to think that, once consumers reach the five minute mark and realize that nothing is happening, they go back and get the Anabolic or Red Light District movies that are routinely number two. You know, that actually have sex in them.
"Long Island Lolita" Amy Fisher, now 31, has taken 15 years to succumb to the inevitable and 1 Night in Paris distributor Red Light District has snagged the filmic documentation thereof. An actual viewing of the movie will determine if, like Kardashian, Fisher's is an empty sex tape, too.
Fisher made the movie, now called Amy Fisher Caught on Tape, with her husband, Lou Bellera, and red herring hype indicates that Fisher didn't give Bellera permission, etc., and that she is suing Red Light, etc. This is standard procedure for sex tapes.
But Fisher looks good; her prison regimen paid off. And her accent can peel paint. Here's hoping she doesn't give blowjobs with her voice.
Previously: Screeched review; Kim Kardashian review
See also: Amy Fisher Caught on TapeLabels: "red light district", amy fisher, celebrity, hype, kim kardashian
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, October 18, 2007--
Seen Here LastTM: Today's Domme Stoya
 StoyaTM, Pig-Spanish for the verb To Be, has become Digital Playground's newest contract performer.
"We wanted to cash in on the steveporn craze the emo kids are so concerned with," no one associated with the company said. "We figured: 'It's less work'."
Stoya's assimilation into Digital PlayBorg was announced during last week's Berlin Fair, an annual adult convention. She joins registered trademarks Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, and Sophia Santi, the Katsumi/Katsuni hybrid, and the blissfully unfettered Teagan Presley. No accounting was made for Lacie Heart and Jana Cova in the accompanying press release.
Sources say that one more contract girl is in the offing. Digital Playground announced Katsumi and Lacie Heart within days of each other last December.
Our team of translators worked overtime parsing the press release, which seemed to peg Stoya as some kind of Predator-Next-Door:
Originally from the Carolina's, Stoya is blessed with striking features and a lean, tight body. Completely natural, she stands tall at 5'7" and weighs in at 125 lbs. Her pale skin is accentuated by dark hair and full, pouting lips. With an affliction for pain and suffering, Stoya defines herself only as an android from the future (emphasis added). She loves to make clothes, read good books and play with her cats. Truly unique and intensely passionate, Stoya takes pride in her nudity and general moody perception of the world. Out of all the things that are kinda weird about this press release, the thing that sticks with me is: what, exactly, is a general moody perception of the world? Does she have an affliction for moodiness? What about her cats? If I were to offend them, would her Cats Sue Me?
Stoya has a lovely face that makes her outfit in this picture seem like a Halloween costume for a woman who ran out of ideas for the party and at the last minute decided to go for Slutty. I hope our operatives can talk with her before she starts adding the "TM" to her autographs, because then it will be too late.
Previously: Oh, And Lacie Heart, too; Katsumi to join Robby D.'s hand; Jesse Jane: Seen here last!; Babysitters
See also: Digital Playground, RushLabels: "contract girls", Digital Playground, hype, jana cova, jesse jane, katsuni, shay j, sic, sophia santi, stoya, teagan presley
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, October 16, 2007--
Not the Bradys: Not the worst
 In porn, quality is often a fraction of its hype, and the more hype, the less deserving of it its object is. That is why savvy marketers come to me for my patented Hype:Quality Index. For mere thousands of dollars a month, I will tell public relations shills when to stop with the goddamn press releases already.
Because the hype on a project can negatively affect its perceived quality, a perfectly serviceable porn like Not the Bradys XXX suffered from its own bombastic marketing, making people avoid a movie that wasn't half bad.
And if something isn't half bad, it's more than likely half good!
Damn! I should be writing those press releases!
Read the review here.
Previously: A Small gallery of trucks being used as coitus surfaces in Hustler movies
See also: Porn Director Will Ryder Rides Hot StreakLabels: bill mullet, hype, reviews, sic
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, August 09, 2007--
Back(draft) to Flashpoint
 Nothing pornographic, just Jenna Jameson, circa 1998.
I suppose the only reason Wicked had to release a tenth anniversary edition of Flashpoint a year early was that it just couldn't wait. I forget if there is an AVN award for Best Packaging, but if there is, this four-disc set should get it.
The prestige porn of its time is as good or better than any similarly-scaled contemporary movie. And don't forget that Flashpoint boasts the talents of Jameson, Jill Kelly, and Asia Carrera at their full juiciness. There are other surprises, too.
Read more after the gap.
 There's AVN writer Mike Albo as a priest. Looking very Michael Chiklis-like in his pre-millennial hairlessness, Albo delivers the Lord's Prayer like the hellhounds are on his trail. The only downside of this movie is that the acting and dialogue are otherwise uniformly porny. I expected more from such a huge budget, but everything else is great.
 The only AVN award Flashpoint received when it was released was for Marketing, yet Wicked and online retailer AdultDVDEmpire claim it to be a consistently strong seller for the company, hence the discontinuance of the original and its replacement by the deluxe version.
Read the review here.
See also: Wicked
Labels: asia carrera, avn, dvd, hype, jenna jameson, trademags, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, August 07, 2007--
Wayne Hentai: Pornslinger
 Now that Hillary Clinton has stood up for a vilified profession, the "real Americans" known as Washington lobbyists, I finally have the courage to put in a good word for a class of people that, but for several bad apples who smear the whole profession, are hard-working, bright, and conscientious folk: Porn Valley's publicists.
I speak with the Dean of Adult Industry publicists, Wayne Hentai, after the gap.
Only one of the publicists working in the adult business today has a journalism background. Wayne Hentai, director of Hentai Public Relations of Canoga Park, ran the news desk at the University of Hawaii student newspaper and, following his graduation with a degree in journalism, worked as a stringer for Pacific Business News. After a year in Taiwan employed by an export company, he accepted the newly-created DVD editor position at Adult Video News, a trade publication.
"Business reporting is very good training for an understanding of money, retail, law, technology, and distribution," he said, "which, along with naked ladies, is what the adult industry is all about."
In the mid-1990s, when adult company heads realized that competition and cheap, increased replication had increased to the point that porn no longer sold itself, they took a cue from Hollywood and hired publicists to tell the world, which at that time meant AVN, that their product was better.
Prior to this, company sales reps and the owners themselves acted as publicists, but in the face of an onslaught of comparable content from competitors, Publicist became a job description unto itself.
The publicist's job, at first, was to get articles into AVN. The good publicist's mailing list has increased by one with each media outlet that has appeared to address AVN's deficiencies or to take a run at AVN's dominance.
"Respecting the editor's job is the key to getting your client's stories published on a website or print publication," Hentai said. "If an editor has to rewrite press releases because they don't appear to be in English or if there's no news enclosed, that tends to breed ill will."
Hentai is correct, but bad or not, press releases still get printed. Editors have resorted to creating aliases to hide their shame of printing these things as news stories or have, like AVNOnline and XBiz, created a PR ghetto where press releases languish unedited.
At a recent seminar conducted by XBiz editors in Las Vegas, Hentai's work was singled out as the type of material magazines look for.
"I don't care if we get nine press releases from Wayne a day," Associate Editor Anne Winter said. "We print them because they are relevant and well-written."
And because they are not filled with references to Hentai.
"The most important thing to remember is that the person signing the checks should be the person getting the publicity," Hentai said. "I stand in the background. Writers don't want to write 'Lexington Steele's publicist said'."
Then why do publicists get away with that?
"No comment," Hentai said.
I think because porn is a visual medium that adult companies and the publicists they've hired have not emphasized a command of English as a priority of the job. Instead, a steady stream of newsless "press releases" have issued from companies, and because trade publications nominally need words that will go along with the advertising, these press releases provide excellent filler.
So trade publications and the publicists that fed them created a mutually parasitic relationship that threatened the real news editors tried to print. As in the mainstream world, a story unfavorable to an advertiser was toned down or killed. Eventually editors, who were never the managers of the publications, learned to avoid particularly thorny issues within the industry and instead pointed their anger outside, at external threats to the adult industry, such as the government or annoying copyright law.
Most publicists, then, thrive in an industry ducking for cover under a low ceiling of expectations, hence press releases an eighth grader would be embarrassed to write (or for which would at least get a D).
Hentai is different, and frustrated.
"There's no shame in using a spell-check," he said, "but I wonder when people will start connecting poor press with poor sales?"
I think this a long way off. I recently had a conversation with a porn director who said that he reads the various adult sites every day, hoping his name will be mentioned. I had counseled him that I would not run a press release that was written just for the sake of having a press release out.
"You don't invent a reason to send out a press release," I said.
"But everyone else is sending out press releases," he said, and he meant it, and it's true.
"But they look like idiots," I said, and I meant it, and it's true.
"The adult industry is a bubble," Hentai said, "and the people in the bubble aren't the ones buying adult products. Are you getting all your porn for free?"
"Yes," I sobbed.
"Presss releases need to be written for the people actually buying the product, because they are judged by the same standards as any other press release."
"So 'Good enough for Porn' isn't a business model that works anymore?" I asked.
"Five years ago, maybe," he said.
Hentai currently represents several clients, including Lexington Steele's Mercenary Pictures, American Xcess, Third World Media, Sinsation, and Lethal Hardcore. He works for smaller companies on a case by case basis.
I mentioned my conversation with the director who just wanted to see his name in print.
"Can't you feed someone's vanity and take their money at the same time?" I asked.
"I tell my clients that putting them in the best light sometimes means |
While I don't usually cover Las Vegas filling station events, not only is the opportunity to write the headline Sassy Gets Gassy too hard to resist, but you'll also remember my strong commitment to finding you the lowest gas prices, even if you have to drive to Las Vegas in July to get them.
