| --Friday, October 03, 2008--
Black and grey Friday in the porn world, Gawker Media
 The porn industry is contracting somewhat, and familiar faces at some companies are either leaving porn altogether or are moving to other companies to be familiar faces there. I'll mention some people in the latter category.
My pal Joanne Cachapero at XBiz will be leaving to become Membership Director of the Free Speech Coalition, an adult industry lobbying group. Farley Cahen of AVN will move to Digital Playground in a "New Media" position, leaving his current job open (and I hear there are editorial changes coming to AVN as well), Tom Hymes of XBiz, formerly of both AVN and the FSC, is now the managing editor of Sex.com.
Q. Since you are integral to the success of these companies, Grams, what do these changes mean for you?
A. Thanks for asking. There is a chance that, after the Pirates 2 review Joanne and I write for XBiz this month, our review column in XBiz Premiere will go away, because the company will then have to pay two people as freelancers rather than one. Then, if I become publisher of AVN, I would no longer be able to write for XBiz because, like Rush's "New World Man," both companies desire to keep their nature pure. Once upon a time people said that Porn was recession-proof, and that remains true if you think of it in terms of what people used to say about sex before marriage: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
The amount of free or undercut porn on the Internet, coupled with pay-per-scene or pay-per-minute schemes, has crippled the ability of larger features to attract the audiences they once did. And audiences coming of age in a time when porn is more free than ever and accessible in bite-sized form don't appreciate the "classics."
Companies like Hustler strike when the iron is hot (such as with Gov Lov and the upcoming Lisa Ann-as-"Sarah Paylin" movie) and must resort to increasing levels of gimmickry to approximate the cash that once came so easily.
Porn personnel are "laying low" (I have heard this phrase several times): not advertising as much, throwing fewer parties, and not spending as much on productions. Visitors to the January 2009 Adult Entertainment Expo will see less extravagant booths, and fewer of them. Luckily, consumer tickets to both the Expo and the AVN Awards should somewhat compensate.
If DVD sales are down, the exception might seem to be Pirates 2, which is less a movie than an event and, as singular an event it is (more off the record sources from other companies say they've already accepted that the movie will sweep the major awards next year and hope only for its scraps), considering the average ROI on porn titles, it does not seem possible that Pirates 2 could have been financed in-house, in the same way that some of the "blockbuster" porn movies of the past few years have been financed with money not generated specifically by the company that produced them. Instead, they have been financed by the mainstream "real jobs" of their owners.
And while porn industry insiders blame company owners for long ago sacrificing "tangibles" to the Internet or sluggishly enforcing copyrights, if at all, now the outside economy is further darkening Porn's door.
Nick Denton, founder of the Gawker website empire (and who, if my Fleshbot checks weren't direct-deposited, would sign them) sent out the following memo informing his employees of staff cuts at those GawkerMedia sites that were underperforming:
I have some bad news. Here's the heart of it: we are cutting 19 of our
133 editorial positions and suspending bonus payments at the start of
next year. With the savings, we are increasing base pay and hiring 10
new people on the most commercially successful Gawker sites. But I
know that's scant consolation for the colleagues we're losing and for
those of you who have been enjoying the bonus windfalls from breakout
stories.
You can guess the reason for these brutal measures: the recession.
Sure, the company is currently profitable and advertising sales are up
by about 30% on their level of a year ago. Our biggest clients are
consumer electronics and entertainment companies that are relatively
well insulated. And, yes, this is not the first time I've predicted
doom: in July 2006, when we "battened down the hatches" and closed
down Sploid and Screenhead; and in April this year, when we spun off
Idolator, Gridskipper and Wonkette.
But now the credit crisis is clearly going to affect every sector of
the economy. Advertising buys typically plunge after the Christmas
shopping season, and 2009 is obviously going to be exceptionally
difficult. We have to prepare for the worst, now, rather than when the
worst comes upon us.
We never used to talk about the business side of the operation.
Traffic was the only concern; my belief was that juicy news would draw
the readers and the advertising would take care of itself. We were
patient; even if it took four years for a site to develop the audience
that finally registered with advertisers, we had the time. No longer.
Sites such as Consumerist, whose success has been measured more in
traffic and recognition than in revenue, now need to cover their
costs. I can't underline enough that this harsh commercial judgment is
no reflection whatsoever on the editorial teams that are being cut.
Each of these sites performs a vital function. Consumerist provides an
outlet for disgruntled consumers that exists nowhere else on the web;
Valleywag has given puffed-up Silicon Valley the prick it's long
needed; and Fleshbot manages to be classy and filthy at the same time.
The site leads and writers on all of our sites have done exactly what
we asked them to: work harder than the competition and grow the
audience. It's my commercial judgment that's been at fault.
One reason we're eliminating these positions is to reinforce the teams
on the sites with the most commercial appeal—Gizmodo, Kotaku,
Lifehacker and Gawker—and the properties such as Jezebel, io9,
Deadspin and Jalopnik which are poised to join them.
One new recruit we're confirming today is Gabriel Snyder from W
Magazine in Los Angeles who, as managing editor of Gawker.com, will
continue the site's evolution into a national news and entertainment
site. We are also hiring new contributors at Jezebel, Deadspin, Kotaku
and io9.
Even in the growing editorial teams we need to control costs. And that
means a new look at traffic bonuses. We've been spending $50,000 a
month on average on pageview bonuses. The scheme has made writers
hustle for traffic even in teams so large that there was a risk they
become lumbering. It's helped us hit a record 274m pageviews last
month, up 69% on last September.
Pageview bonuses will continue this quarter. And we are committed to
pageview incentives, and to measuring performance by a writer's
individual pageviews, in the long term. But a first quarter spike in
traffic -- and the resulting bonus payments -- could be dangerous if
advertising markets are troubled next year. And we're assuming that
the economy is so volatile that most of you would like a little bit
more predictability about your own income.
That's why we're suspending the pageview bonus for the first quarter
at least, but making up for some of the loss of income by raising pay.
If you haven't recently agreed to a new rate, your monthly base amount
will automatically be increased by 5% in January.
The news about the job and bonus cuts will be demoralizing. The golden
age of the blog is over, people will say. Gawker Media is behaving
like those big media companies that we mock so easily. I could come up
with some bullshit line about how much worse it would have been to
wait until we were forced to control costs; or how much more
unpleasant life will be at the many internet ventures and newspapers
that won't make it through the downturn. I could give you my
optimistic spin about the glorious future that awaits us on the far
side of this downturn.
But there is no escaping the fact that we're losing some excellent
colleagues and the environment next year will be bleak. The one
consolation is that there will be plenty of news for us to break —
starting with this email, which you are free to leak. Luckily, I am still Senior Erotic Consultant at Fleshbot; my job was not cut. But things are tough all over, and you can expect it to get worse before it gets better.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: When Black Friday comes to AVNLabels: avn, commentary, Digital Playground, hustler, joanne cachapero, trademags, xbiz
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, September 24, 2008--
Keeping a porn marriage together, first in a series
 Here's Audrey Hollander and Otto Bauer on the set of Hustler's upcoming "I Love Lucy" adaptation Everybody Loves Lucy, which wrapped filming today.
"The part was written for me," Hollander pointed out.
" - and I had the luck of being married to her already," Bauer said. "So I got to be Desi."
 In the history of casting porn movies, I don't think there has been a smarter choice, save for when Gianna Michaels was cast in a movie that had the word "boobies" in the title.
 (Hollander mentioned that I had once posed she and Bauer as "Ricky and Lucy" at the AVN Expo. I had forgotten this, and only bring it up now because I want to store all my high school stuff and winter clothes in Hustler's storage chambers miles below Wilshire Blvd.)
 I asked what was their secret for a lasting union. Especially one in which the female partner constantly runs the risk of slipping and spraining something in others' drool.
"Staying in a relationship with Audrey is just an exercise in trying not to fuck up," Bauer said. "Also, we keep her ass stretched out at home."
I will remember this in my duties as an ordained minister.
Previously: AVN wrapup 2008; Audrey Hollander cares enough to replace the roll; Squirting or Urinating: You Be the Judge!
See also: HustlerLabels: audrey hollander, gianna, humanity, hustler, otto bauer, set visits, the ass
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, September 16, 2008--
Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone: "Which is the greater obscenity - war or pornography?"
 Larry Flynt: The Right to Be Left Alone , a 2007 documentary by director Joan Brooks-Marks, is a comprehensive account of the First Amendment Patriot side of the Hustler founder and is, in that way, a compelling look at the person who has arguably done the most to frame pornography (and often reckless humiliation in the guise of satire) as a Constitutionally-protected freedom.
It is impossible to watch this movie and not cheer Flynt as he throws oranges at federal judges, calls them motherfuckers and pussies, picks his nose at depositions, and hammers home his right to publish anything in the name of Free Speech protection. It is impossible not to see him as an heroic ornery smartass who had the courage to risk everything, even after an assailant put him in a wheelchair for life, for the purpose of individual liberties.
"If we're not going to offend anyone," Flynt says, "there's no reason for the First Amendment."
Detailing Hustler crusades to out hypocrisy in government (the magazine's uncovering of House Speaker-apparent Bob Livingston's marital infidelities resulted in his resignation) and coups like obtaining footage of the FBI's sting against car manufacturer/cocaine smuggler John DeLorean, The Right to Be Left Alone repeatedly shows what a big footprint/tire track Flynt has left in the publishing world.
 And there is no better physical metaphor for sticking to an ideal than the slowed, measured speech of a man paralyzed in the line of duty juxtaposed with images of a brash, sideburned one-generation-away-from-hillbilly younger Flynt blustering his way through courtrooms and talk shows. Flynt was shot by Joseph Paul Franklin because the latter was sickened to see a black man and white woman together in the pages of Hustler.
(The younger Flynt, in retrospect, looks much more like Vince Vaughn than Woody Harrelson.)
But though the documentary, which debuted on the Independent Film Channel last month after a tour of festivals, takes pains to give time to Flynt detractors like the late Andrea Dworkin and Jerry Falwell, one question I would have liked to see asked was how Flynt would have felt to receive the Hustler Magazine treatment himself.
 The closest Flynt comes to self doubt in the documentary is when he discusses the controversial Hustler "meat grinder" cover, in which a woman is fed through a meat grinder next to a caption proclaiming that Hustler (contrary to feminist accusations) doesn't treat women like pieces of meat.
"Even I admitted I was wrong on that one," Falwell says.
"Moral Majority" leader Falwell sued Flynt in the 80's when Hustler published a fake Campari ad that had Falwell recounting his first sexual experience in an outhouse with his own mother. A judge originally awarded Falwell $240,000 ("for hurting his feelings," Flynt says) but the decision was overturned. Later, Flynt and Falwell reconciled.
Flynt points out that today's generation takes Freedom of Speech for granted. In addition, today's porn generation also only knows Flynt as a man wheeled out to receive awards at adult conventions while the back half of the room won't shut up. So it is a pleasure to hear what he has to say up close, even if there is a nagging feeling that "First Amendment Freedoms" was just a convenient umbrella to hide under when someone objected to being depicted as having sex with his mother in a Tennessee outhouse.
In addition to liberal dollops of news footage (featuring the likes of Walter Cronkite, Harry Reasoner, Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Tavis Smiley, and John Stewart), The Right to Be Left Alone also examines Flynt's relationship with his late wife, Althea.
"She was my soulmate," Flynt says, lauding her intelligence, especially in someone so young. Althea developed a painkiller habit after Larry's shooting, which evolved into heroin abuse.
"She got the painkillers from me," Flynt says. "I'd drop her off in rehab and she'd beat me home." Althea was diagnosed with AIDS in 1983 but never told her husband how she got it. "I think she was sharing needles," he says.
 While the doc provides semi-staged interstitial segments of day-to-day life at Hustler (a photo session with longtime photographer Matti Klatt and Puma Swede, an editorial meeting with Hustler editor Bruce David), these seem one-dimensional next to the substantive snapshot of Flynt, and the Althea sequences never backslide into sentimentality.
Still, we can't help but see whose side the documentary is on. That's not bad, it's just not fair and balanced.
Take the case of Hustler's fight against feminists (which a commenter to the website Manufactured Contempt says achieved the dubious goal of giving more airtime to feminist thought than mainstream media). Should the First Amendment allow, for example, a bounty to be placed on the head of Gloria Steinem even if, as the court said in the Falwell case, that "it was too outrageous to be taken seriously"? Larry Flynt: The Right to Be Left Alone comes close to covering everything.
The title comes from a favored soundbite of Flynt's (cribbed from a 19th century opinion by Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis) about what the greatest thing is that a nation can do for its people. But the only example of Flynt taking his own advice and leaving alone - sort of - a potential target is his decision to not publish nude photos of pawn/Army Private Jessica Lynch, whose rescue from Iraqi captors was staged for cameras.
"If anyone was a victim," Flynt says, "she was."
 And that Flynt himself is a victim, that he took a bullet, jail time, the loss of a beloved spouse, and continued to doggedly, unapologetically (and, by his own admission, classlessly) fight for his right to be left alone, anyway, is the reason to watch this movie.
Buy Larry Flynt: The Right to Be Left Alone.
See a gallery here.
Previously: "A fine spray of legitimacy"
See also: Hustler, Manufactured Contempt, Midtown FilmsLabels: documentary, hustler, larry flynt, puma swede
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, September 01, 2008--
Republicans get smart on alternative childbirth
 I realized Friday's post about faked miscarriages should be called Happy (False) Labor Day, but we all need to move on in light of this weekend's odd news about that free-thinking Palin family of Alaska.
Kudos to John McCain for so carefully vetting his choice of vice president. He deftly evoked historical V.P. choices like J. Danforth Quayle and employed contemporary themes such as those espoused in this year's Best Screenplay Academy Award winner Juno. (Or should I say Juneau?)
As promised, here is the review of Benny Profane's Hospital as well as a contribution from reader Chauncey Boyd concerning Hustler's Get Smartass.
See also: Gram's Thoughtful Porn ReviewsLabels: "benny profane", chauncey boyd, hustler, politics, reviews, steveporn
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, June 17, 2008--
Hustler squeezes blood from a Bunnyranch
 Are today's sports heroes pussy-whipped? Is the rapper Everlast still alive and, if so, what does he think about hip-hop? Is there anything left to say about the Moonlite Bunnyranch?
Hustler Magazine is hoping you want to know, and will answer these questions as well as this one: Is Ann Coulter a dude? The September issue, which comes out in a week (?), also features nudity.
Previously: Holly Randall's secret life
See also: Hustler MagazineLabels: hustler, magazines, politics, sports
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, April 23, 2008--
Twilight of the Hustler studio
 Not the Bradys XXX 2 might be the last adult movie filmed in Hustler's warehouse and studio in Canoga Park, a building used for office space and filming for the past 15 years, and which had an in-house stage crew that built sets for dozens of Barely Legals, Hustler cover shoots, and hundreds of movies.
Larry Flynt Publications, parent of Hustler, made the decision to sell the property late last year. Prior to this, when Vivid shifted its distribution from Hustler to Pulse (freeing up warehouse space), and when the few remaining sales staff and office workers were relocated to the LFP "dark tower" over the hill in Los Angeles, the 20,000 sq. ft. facility was still being used as a distribution warehouse and production center.
Now the Osborne Street building on the market for $3.8 million. Built in 1979, LFP purchased the building in December, 1993, well in advance of the DVD era. When LFP bought Russ Hampshire's VCA Pictures a decade later, it assumed some of its staff and all of its catalogue. At that time, Hustler and VCA's warehouse was still chock full of bulkier VHS boxes.
According to L.A. County records, LFP made about $700,000 worth of improvements to the building, and the structure and lot it stands on have been assessed at nearly $1.8 million.
Since LFP's decision to sell the building, however, both California's commercial and residential real estate markets have slid, and the building stands unused most of the time.
Kenny DeMartines, who has been Hustler's set designer for 25 years (and who supplied several of the pictures in this story) has spent the last few months as part of a two-person cleanup crew, getting the building ready for its eventual sale. But when producer Jefff Mullen was looking for a place to film the sequel to last year's Not the Bradys XXX, most of which had been shot in the same location, DeMartines rebuilt the set and added some flourishes.
"They weren't using the building," Mullen said. "That's a lot of money they're spending in other locations that they could save."
 Clearly LFP believed the building would sell a lot sooner and that it would no longer have to pay the maintenance fees on such a large property. Vivid, Digital Playground, Red Light District, Wicked, and Adam & Eve rarely shoot movies or scenes on their own properties, instead choosing to rent space across Porn Valley and Los Angeles like their smaller competitors. Only Hustler had an in-house location and set builder.
The Not the Bradys XXX 2 shoot contained several DeMartines sets, including the (Not the) Bradys' back yard and several bedrooms. Once the building is cleaned out, DeMartines will be out of a job.
"I have worked with a Who’s Who of adult directors from (late Barely Legal director) Clive McLean to Jerry T (Jerome Tanner), and even Ron Sullivan (aka Henri Pachard), John Bowen (aka John T Bone), and Greg Dark back in the old days of the 1980s," DeMartines said. "I make things look the way people want them to look."
For those of you with an extra $3.8 million (sources say the price might come down), the building boasts the following amenities:
Racked warehouse space, ceiling heights between 13' and 17', 800 amp, 3 phase 4 wire delta power and 120/240 volt circuit, controlled parking area, fenced, three 13' roll-up doors, woodshop and painting area with ventilation, five restrooms, washer/dryer hookups, carpeted and sunny reception area and several offices set offf from studio, woodshop, and warehouse spaces.
"In a time when everyone is under increasing budgetary constraints, we were actually able to save a lot of money over the years," said DeMartines, "because we had a lot of our own materials already in stock that other companies would need to go out and buy each time they shot."
 On the set of Not the Bradys XXX 2, veteran performer Mike Horner (he shot his first adult movie in January, 1978), who plays Mike (Not the) Brady, said that the Old Ways Are Changing.
"I got into the business with Ron Jeremy, John Leslie, and Jamie Gillis," he said. "Back when L.A. would be hot for a time and then the police would crack down and we had to go back up to San Francisco. When the state told the L.A. police that breaking up porn sets was infringing on free speech (1993), that's when the Valley became the porn capital."
And that was the year LFP bought the warehouse.
Mullen (using the directing alias Will Ryder) posed with Kasey Jordan (Cindi), Aurora Snow (Jan), Teragan Presley (Marcia) and Alana Evans (Carol) holding a copy of adult trade publication AVN. Its cover story was an advertiser-soothing "Big Budget Is Back." Mullen wanted to recreate the shot with a copy of rival adult publication XBiz, but there wasn't one available.
In an article in adult retailer trade publication Adult Store Buyer, Vivid co-founder Steve Hirsch acknowledged the precipitous decline of the physical movie. "(In 1984), 95 percent of our sales came from VHS tapes," he said. Vivid celebrates its 25th anniversary next year. "Last year, less than 30 percent of our sales came from DVDs."
While many companies make big budget movies (the just-wrapped Pirates 2 cost more than $1 million and standard features like Adam & Eve's Rollerdollz and Dark City had budgets of $75k to $100k), most major studio porn is produced for $30k for glossier vignette films or five or six scene gonzo movies, in which several or all of the scenes can be shot in one day in several rooms of a Porn Valley McMansion rented for about $1200.
 The impending closure of the Hustler studio says only that the the company has made a decision to adapt to the market; an increasingly Internet-driven industry needs fewer people to keep it alive, and less space.
That doesn't mean the DVD or the feature is going away tomorrow, but the demand is shrinking. People with staying power have to make do with less. Contrary to the AVN article, demand for big budget features has also contracted, even though a well-made high budget porn spectacle still has the novelty to draw consumers.
In addition to Horner, the multigenerational Not the Bradys XXX 2 features veteran performer Lynn LeMay (first adult movie: 1988) as well as Aurora Snow and Teagan Presley, who have bucked traditional porn career expectations by staying active in the business for seven and four years, respectively.
On the set, Horner talked about how he has personally adapted.
"When I started I was a college student," Mike Horner said. "Now I'm the one playing the Dad roles. Luckily there's Dad roles ... "
See the gallery here.
Previously: This is how porn guys live; Not the Bradys XXX review
See also: HustlerLabels: below the line, business, hustler, jeff mullen, kenny demartines
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, March 05, 2008--
Report: Ohio voters concerned smiles, ass-fucking at odds
 I have harbored these two DVDs in my office for nearly a month but have been scared to open them, because I am confused.
The sweet, corn-fed smiles of Aubrey Addams and Bree Olson say "Give me a paper route!" not "Fuck me up the ass." My mind has not been this divided since I forgot whether to add a (TM) or (R) to Jesse Jane's name. (In the end I just added both and let her sue herself.)
You don't normally see irony at work on porn boxcovers - it usually helps if they're straightforward - but the artists at both Pink Visual and Hustler have chosen to use it here:
We don't expect a smile to accompany an invitation to ass-fucking. Usually the ass-fuckee is swaying back and forth in a puddle by the curb of Packers Stadium holding a broken bottle and saying "Fuck me up the ass or I'll kill myself," tottering on her one existing heel, and then falling facedown in her sick.
The smiles, well ... the smiles belong to a dimension different from ours. To paraphrase George Romero, "When ass-fucking is wholesome, the dead will walk the earth."
 Anally Yours
Anal Fuck Auditions 3
Previously: Free to Bree O or E; "Bore My Asshole" (fleshbot)
See also: Hustler, Pink VisualLabels: aubrey addams, bree olson, geekery, hustler, pink visual, the ass
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, February 12, 2008--
Free to Bree O or E
 I haven't had this much trouble since Amy Ried.
Adam & Eve contract star Bree Olson, who won her Best New Starlet AVN award as Bree Olson, and has an excellent blog that makes me want to put on a few pounds and install cable on BreeOlson.com, is all over the web as Bree Olsen.
I wanted to let you know that she is not Swedish, but Ukrainian. Let's restore her her second O to go with the two Es, OK?
That said, she shot a scene for Hustler prior to her Adam & Eve contract that was compiled into a movie called Anally Yours.
So if her name isn't Bree Olsen, who forged her signature?
Previously: Bree Olson to Hustler: Please, not on my face; From Carmen to Kayden
See also: Hustler, Adam & Eve, Bree OlsonLabels: "adam and eve", amy ried, bree olson, hustler, sic, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, February 01, 2008--
Meet Ashley Orion
 "I wanted to do porn since I gave my first blowjob at 15," said Ashley Orion, who today shot her very second porn scene ever for Hustler's Barely Legal 82.
The sylphlike and semipellucid Orion is the only porn performer I'm aware of who has taken her name from a constellation rather than a planet (Ange Venus) or single celestial body (Aiden and Bobbi Starr, Celeste Star, Sun Myung Moon). Nicki Hunter almost makes it because Sagittarius is the zodiac sign from which she took her name, even though Sagittarius is the archer and Orion is more closely associated with a hunter. It would be bad form to name oneself after Cancer, the crab.
Orion is from "all over L.A." but doesn't fit the stereotype; she's pale and charming. She makes me think of Stoya's lab partner in Chemistry by way of Hillary Scott.
I went to the set of Barely Legal 82 to see how the series had progressed, thematically and spiritually, since Barely Legal 75 last spring.
 "My dog had puppies," said director Erica McLean.
I believe that a performer's first experiences with porn has a bearing on her longevity in the business.
Let's say you had Max Hardcore and Erica McLean running side by side film shoots, the way porn sometimes works, in adjoining rooms of the same house. And let's say identical twins decided to get into porn on the same day, a few days after their 18th birthdays. One twin chose to work for Max Hardcore and the other chose to shoot her first scene with McLean.
 No offense to Mr. Hardcore, but the one who shot for McLean would probably be pleasanty surprised by the goings on in the porn industry and would continue working. The other, awash in urine, would begin plotting her exit strategy.
So fathers who think the more time their daughters spend in porn, the worse things are, owe a debt of gratitude to Hardcore. McLean's set, on the other hand, was stocked with healthy snacks, including fruit, pasta salad, sliced avocados, and a sandwich bar. Orion is probably thinking of making a career out of this now.
Orion was actually an alternate choice. As I drove through the gate and up the hill of a private residence off Sepulveda, I met another car barreling toward me down the one lane driveway. This was the woman McLean sent home.
 "She didn't look like her pictures," McLean said.
"Somebody told her to get hair extensions that shouldn't have," the production assistant explained.
Orion, on the other hand, looked perfect. It made me think of my own 18th birthday just three years ago; innocent, pale, eager to please, and full of promise.
"Are you Irish?" I asked Ashley, thinking her last name was O'Ryan.
"No," she said for what I'm guessing was the fifth but nowhere near the last time. "It's Orion. Like the belt."
In Greek mythology, it was said that Orion raped Artemis. In Hollywood history, Orion released Caddyshack.
 Orion's jacuzzi-bound and Budapest-born scene partner was veteran porn dude Anthony Hardwood, 40. I asked him if he gets particularly excited when he hears he is about to work with an 18-year-old.
"It is every man's fantasy to have sex with the 18-year-old," he said, eating a hard-boiled egg. I don't feel this way myself, but I respect Hardwood's perspective. My fantasies usually involve vampires, squid, and Lita Ford.
It was cold up on the hill as Orion posed, not enough of her in the jacuzzi to keep her warm, but she didn't complain. No one else did, either.
Previously: Barely Legal 75: Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland
See also: HustlerLabels: "set visits", ashley orion, erica mclean, hustler, interviews
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, November 08, 2007--
Brooke Haven provides thoughtful alternative to fucking her brains in
 You know, I used to work for Corporate America, but I'm a butterfly, man; and butterflies are free to fly.
I didn't like being told what to do by no spirit-sucking drone, man. I make my own rules. I'm a straight shooter. I love hard and I drink hard. I take Life by the nipples until it yelps a little.
So you can see why I would chafe at people telling me which way to jump.
Still, "Fuck My Brains Out" seems less like an order than a challenge, because it looks like Brooke Haven just killed that guy.
Previously: What makes boobs real?; The Pornographer
See also: HustlerLabels: brooke haven, hustler, new porn daily, personal philosophy
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, October 23, 2007--
Stuffing? I'm Stayin'!
 Whether on a stove top or on a Porn Valley rental couch, Stuffed, a two-or-three-hole-occupancy movie directed by Jerome Tanner (inexplicably credited as Lex T. Drill) stars some of my favorite people: Harmony, Joanna Angel (pictured), Sandra Romain, Jayna Oso, and Adrianna Nicole.
Something about the content of this movie brings each performer's voice down about a half octave, which I like; only Jennifer Tilly should sound like Jennifer Tilly.
See more snaps after the gap.
And Tanner throws in some angles that aren't so arty that they are a distraction from what we are supposed to see, yet they still look just a little different from everything else. Bravo.
For example, here's an excellent perspective on Adrianna Nicole. It's as if I'm there. I just wish that other dude wasn't interrupting my view.
 And here's Jayna Oso. I have seen Jayna Oso on three movie sets and during each scene she got extremely slick with sweat. This assures me that her glands are working. What's hotter than that?
Previously: Jamye Waxman: the female you; Smokin' Crack 3; Six in Me; Lorelei Lee and Adrianna Nicole - just because; I am the world's greatest porn director; Medical Pain Sluts; I'm repeating myself; Have a smoking Thanksgiving; Joanna Angel tackles boobs
See also: HustlerLabels: "joanna angel", adrianna nicole, directors, harmony, hustler, jayna oso, jerome tanner, sandra romain
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, October 10, 2007--
Memphis Monroe abandons contract stardom for poverty on streets of 19th century Paris
 Memphis Monroe, Hustler's most visible contract star, is also its last. "We have abandoned the contract star program and did not renew Memphis' contract," a Hustler insider said.
So a noble tradition begun with Jessica Jaymes that continued with the tripartite reign of Monroe, Mya Luanna, and a combination of sort-of Shy Love and sort-of Joey Hart (with a sprinkling of Joanna Angel) ended this year. No more will Hustler be represented by a face. Instead, the dark tower on the corner of Wilshire and La Cienega will become a font of ideas.
Monroe eased out of her contract earlier this year, regained control of her website, and has since shot for Adam & Eve. She has given up her Daisy Dukes for a Parisian waif's beret, mixing up the ensemble with a baton, which is also French.
Regardless, everyone remains great friends and will maintain visitation rights, as you can see from Monroe's post-contract effort for Hustler, Breaking & Entering, also starring Luanna, Penny Flame, and Harmony. It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again.
Previously: Memphis Monroe reveals dark side of head; Derby Day for Memphis Monroe
See also: Hustler, Memphis Monroe, Les MiserablesLabels: "contract girls", hustler, memphis monroe, mya luanna, penny flame
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, October 05, 2007--
Barely Babysitters
 These movies are similar in that the titles suggest characters younger than the people in the cast. That doesn't make them bad; there is just a disconnect between presentation and reality, like when I talk about skateboards and Ritalin.
Read the review for Babysitters here.
Read the review for Barely Legal 75 here .Labels: angie savage, Digital Playground, gina lynn, hustler, jenny hendrix, jesse jane, nikki benz, sasha grey, sophia santi
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, October 04, 2007--
A small gallery of trucks used as coitus surfaces in Hustler videos
 Here is Alexis Love getting serviced on a pickup truck in Barely Legal 75.
I have added additional trucks to cover the distasteful parts. So it's, like, a murder of trucks.
I asked Durd Gremiliner, editor of Torque World Magazine, why the trucks.
GP: Why the trucks?
DG: I don't know.
Read more after the gap.
 Here is Jasmine Byrne on the back of a different pickup in Backwoods of Memphis.
Here is Alexis Love contemplating the truck (not the same one as in Backwoods of Memphis). She is probably thinking, "I am so going to engage in coitus on that."
I told you it was a small gallery.
Previously: Barely Legal: Generations, Derby Day for Memphis Monroe
See also: HustlerLabels: alexis love, cockblocker, hustler
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, September 28, 2007--
Barely Legal: Generations
 Like wizened Army veterans gathered to share a drink and a laugh over fallen comrades in ancient battles, several performers from Hustler's Barely Legal series gathered last night at Hustler Hollywood to swap stories and talk about the old days.
Some, like Audrey Hollander and Kimberly Kane, had appeared as far back as Barely Legal 45, released in 2003.
"Jesus CHRIST," I shouted so the antique ladies could hear through their ear trumpets. "I'm surprised you're still ALIVE. This should be called Barely BREATHING."
"Oh, shut up," they said.
Read more after the gap.
The event, such as it was, consisted of nine or ten girls (including Alexandra and Jenny Hendrix from Barely Legal 75) signing posters and posing for pictures. Director Erica McLean walked through the crowd, as did, inexplicably, Danny Bonaduce. But there were other redheads I needed to take pictures of.
 Audrey Hollander whispered that, of the three female redheads in the room (the other two being Jamye Langford and Alexandra), she was the only natural one. Then she proved it. My camera wasn't that fast, and besides, I'm all about LIVING, baby. I can't take pictures of everything.
 It is, of course, impossible to tell if Alexandra is a natural redhead because she's shaved down there. And Langford was too busy with markers up her nose for me to check.
I am always happy to see Angie Savage, and it happened that I had just seen her in pornographic form not three hours before in Babysitters. I always feel uncomfortable saying to porn performers that I'd seen them in a movie, but I think that's my problem. I should just not say it to them while sweating, drooling, or in front of their children at Costco.
 Anyway, Savage and I got to talking about spanking. I don't know why, but I'm also not complaining.
"I'm more of a domme lately," she said, "and I'm rarely on bottom, but when I am I love getting spanked. It makes my butt tingle."
I replied that, while petite, she looked like she could take a spanking onslaught. I am always wary of pornstresses who are so small and thin that they look like they might break in half, or quarters. And then I am wary that, by saying someone looks like she could take a spanking, that I am implying she is fat. This is not true, of course, of Savage. Get off my goddamn back.
O, Reader, would that I could have stepped away from my august role as America's Beloved Porn Journalist and spanked Angie Savage halfway down San Vicente Blvd. But it's important I maintain some objectivity. I do this for you.
I talked with director Otto Bauer for a while. He told me had scenes in the can that he couldn't even release in Europe, but that he hoped the cycle might comee around again to make that material saleable in the U.S. He described footage in which there was so much fisting that people were forgetting whose arms the fists were attached to.
 I wish Jenny Hendrix would stop looking at me this way. I want to do terrible things to her. If she were an infant, I'd say the look was gas. But Jenny Hendrix is not an infant.
I have always admired anyone in the porn industry who is cordial to fans and spends hours on her (or his) feet being gracious at signings and conventions. Many of the women last night spent as much time taking pictures with a roomful of fans as they did at the table. I couldn't do that; I'd need to drink.
See a gallery here (now with no nudity!)
Previously: Barely Legal 75: Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland; Angie Savage and Crissy Moran in different underpants; Good Friday at the Filth Factory; Young Hollywood; Report: Night of 101 Girls "Pleasant", "Good"
See also: Hustler Labels: "kimberly kane", "nautica thorn", "vena virago" wgl, angie savage, audrey hollander, events, hustler, jenny hendrix, otto bauer, redheads
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, September 24, 2007--
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
 It is rare that I find a porn boxcover poignant (unless I'm thinking: what an idiot) but Hustler's Pussy Cum Cocktails cover is as wrenching as any woodcut representation of the Irish Potato Famine; Cassie Young searches for something, having left herself literally naked and vulnerable, but Tiffany Taylor isn't giving her any satisfaction. I wonder if she's British.
Previously: Squirting and self-censorship; Squirting and terrorism
See also: HustlerLabels: cassie young, hustler, new porn daily, tiffany taylor
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, July 25, 2007--
Bree Olson to Hustler: Please, not on my face
 Hustler has of late sent out screeners of its movies with a pink sticker attached. The sticker lets potential fences know that enclosed is a movie for review purposes only; you can't jerk off to it or sell it.
Because I consider my job as an occasional reviewer to be a Sacred Trust between Mr. Larry Flynt and myself (even if I'm reviewing a Vivid movie), I would never dream of selling these films.
Instead, I launch them into space after I'm done, to make the ionosphere more sex-positive.
But what governs where these stickers go, and is it art? Join me after a brief recess for a thoughtful discussion.
A guy named Dan Silver is the director and, I assume, your stand-in for the first edition of Barely Legal P.O.V.
 Point of View movies make me feel a little uncomfortable. Something about the performers looking directly at the camera's red light, which isn't necessarily at a level with my eyes, and the hushed tone required for the camera to stay steady always make me feel creepy watching them.
Add to that the fact that the performers don't have the opportunity to not look at the camera makes the atmosphere a little claustrophobic.
 Maybe it's the lack of air between cameraman and star that makes everyone sound a little breathless?
I wish Errol Morris would do a porn POV movie with his Interrotron. Perhaps that way actresses would not bite their fingers or speak in that affected, vocally-fried way that doesn't exist outside of porn or post-production of Britney Spears records. Listening to Veronique Vega and Renae Cruz talk that way, knowing they don't actually talk that way, made me wonder who first gave that advice.
But Silver has the knack for casting women whose breasts, when their owners lie flat on their backs, look enormous and mesmerizing. This is definitely a raincoater film for the weird, uncomfortable level of late-teen unreality it contains. Everyone should own a copy.
 (But I'm not going to sell it to you.)
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The porn industry is contracting somewhat, and familiar faces at some companies are either leaving porn altogether or are moving to other companies to be familiar faces there. I'll mention some people in the latter category.
