Porn Valley Observed: Home of Gram Ponante, America's Beloved Porn Journalist

While I don't usually cover Las Vegas filling station events, not only is the opportunity to write the headline Sassy Gets Gassy too hard to resist, but you'll also remember my strong commitment to finding you the lowest gas prices, even if you have to drive to Las Vegas in July to get them.

Radio personality Sassy Tease, host of Las Vegas' "Sex with Sassy" program, will be at the Speedee Mart on the corner of Swenson and Flamingo Saturday, July 26, from 11 to 3.

"Sassy will host this fun filled event and there will be other fun activities such as a "Sexy Car Wash" Contests, Gas Giveaways & more! A percentage of the proceeds from merchandise purchase from Sassy and the car wash will benefit Opportunity Village a Local Las Vegas Non-Profit Organization.

During the event Speed Mart will lower their gas prices and have the best gas prices in Las Vegas. They will also have drink specials, 25 Cents Hot Dogs and other specials. Monster will be there to give out product samples and Sassy will say hello and sign autographs, store guests, new and existing fans."

So not only will Sassy sign autographs, but she will also sign store guests and existing fans.

I don't know why I got this press release. But sometimes bad press releases inspire me in the way that good ones do not, so it was as if the Intelligent Designer sent this to me Itself, because I then had the strength to find this online review of Speedee Mart from a diabetic disabled woman:

"An employee named Amanda (23-years old, obese, White) is rude to customers. On 5-24-08 Amanda was rude to me, a regular customer (over 50 and permanently wheelchair-bound), and so I left my purchases on the counter and started to leave without paying for them. Then Amanda told me that I was 86-ed. When I returned to explain why, she reitereated that I was 86-ed permanently. Yes, I threw a bit of a tantrum and told her that if she was going to 86 me permanently, then she could have the fountain drink that I didn't purchase and shoved it off her side of the counter.

In addition, this Speedee Mart is often out of hazelnut coffee."

A former exotic dancer, Sassy Tease once sang with a member of the Platters. Let us hope that she can bring her star wattage to bear on the terrible hazelnut coffee scarcity they've got in Vegas.

In other news, I will be at the Dunkin Donuts on the corner of Hagler and Despair in Brockton, MA any given week night.

NOTE: Sssy Tease.com seems to have been hacked by steveporn kids.

Previously: Summer Haze wrestles for the dead; Al Goldstein running for president
See also: A street view of Swenson and Flamingo, with a guy there, too, Sex with Sassy

Labels: gas, hype, las vegas, non-events, steveporn

The Vivid movie Watching My Wife was made in July, 2007. Of course we thought gas was expensive then; we were even making adjustments to the way we drove.

But little did Holly West and Savannah Gold, lounging (if one can describe the tremendous upper body strength expenditure required to keep, what, 60 lbs. of material upright lounging) by the pool know that one scant year later they would not only have to use a hands-free device while driving but also pay more than a dollar more for gas.

Portents of high pump prices to come abound in Watching My Wife. There is a car crash involving two cars, some swingers come by (they didn't walk), and West and Gold didn't just drop from the sky - they probably arrived in a vehicle of some kind.

(I know you're not concerned with how I decide what to write, but in case you are this story evolved from the phrase "gallon jugs.")

Previously: Porn economics: vaginas and gas; Belladonna shares views on tank, 2005
See also: Vivid

Labels: gas, holly west, money, savannah gold