Porn Valley Observed: Home of Gram Ponante, America's Beloved Porn Journalist

--Tuesday, September 23, 2008--

Nataly Rosa shows us and tells us

This morning I received the above sequence of pictures from Foxxx Modeling, one of Porn Valley's respected suppliers of flesh for film, still photography, and clandestine trips to Disneyland's Halloween Time from September 26 through November 2.

The caption reads: "Now Doing Anal."

You think?

And just in case you weren't clear, there's this.

Previously: Zeina Heart: Unbearded Francophone
See also: Foxxx Modeling

Labels: agency, disneyland, fotodoctor, foxxx modeling, nataly rosa, new talent

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, September 23, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

--Tuesday, September 09, 2008--

Carmen Luvana: the mosaic is the message

Whilst considering earlier today whether or not I should blow my head off (I decided against it - I wouldn't want to be any trouble) I found Photoshop's excellent Mosaic tool within the application's filters.

I would oblige you (though weeping silently inside) were you to scoff and say that everyone knows about the Mosaic tool, but I, up until 15 minutes ago, thought the ancient and venerable art of obscuring genitalia on websites and Japanese porn was something meticulously performed by learned craftsmen, Masons, and the Illuminati.

But what does the choice of obscuring technique say about the image it obscures? I offer that, the greater the obfuscation, the more likely it is to influence the viewer's perception of that which it obscures.

Observe Carmen Luvana and Randy Spears from 2002 in this series of the same photo. How does the digital pastie make us perceive the naughty bits beneath? How does it influence our understanding of the picture's non-obscured areas?

(Don't bother thinking about it yourself - I'll tell you.)

Here the standard cockblocker, a yellow Hummer 2, states that the cock is small but you still won't be able to get at the pussy.

The Mosaic reduces the genitalia to look like the tiling on my bathroom floor. It says, "I would like to have Carmen Luvana on Gram's bathroom floor."

The Mesh disguise makes Carmen's parts appear to be seen through a Mossad operative's nightvision scope. Why would he be doing that? Isn't the West Bank enough?

The Wind tool is pretty impressive; it suggests that life is fleeting.

Imposing the Constitution's Bill of Rights tells the viewer that I am a First Amendment Patriot disgusted with my country's censorship of Carmen Luvana's Puerto Rican vagina.

Nothing says Vagina Dentata like Cthulhu.

Reversing the genitalia of the participants is an obvious ploy for the attention of this site's massive transgender audience.

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Previously: StormyBurger; Naomi's lactose tolerance; Carmen Luvana, smeared with cocaine, getting fucked on a pile of cash; Cock-blocking with Gram
See also: New Sensations, Marshall McLuhan

Labels: carmen luvana, fotodoctor, geekery, personal philosophy

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, September 09, 2008 | 2 Comments Links to this post

--Monday, July 14, 2008--

Naomi's lactose tolerance

The American Dairy Council is rethinking its advertising.

Previously: Gang Bang Volume 5; Doctored photo of the day; Scenes from a Pussy Party

Labels: fotodoctor, naomi

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 14, 2008 | 2 Comments Links to this post

--Thursday, September 27, 2007--

Even John E. Depth can't believe it

The image on the back of Anacondas & Lil Mamas 2 makes it look as if John E. Depth is entranced by himself to the exclusion of his scene partner, who seems to be yelling "Focus!"

Depth seems to be saying, "Holy fuck! I'm awesome!"

Read more after the gap.