| --Wednesday, October 08, 2008--
Covers of the week: The prehensile ass of Kiki Vidis
 According to the Department of Invented Statistics, 98 percent of porn titles are bought on the basis of cover art alone (that's why the designer Alaska is very important to Vivid-steve). Here are four boxcovers of movies I received this week that spoke to me personally.
Clockwise from top left:
- Red Light District's Toe Service 2 [watch] says that the rest of Audrianna Angel is not as important as her feet. And for foot fetishists, it isn't.
- New Sensations' MILFs Crave Chocolate [watch] features Baby Jayne daring us to argue with her choice of Mr. Marcus, even if what he is wearing is an airbrushed Yankees cap. Also, Marcus seems to be saying "I'm'a fuck her on my way to killing you." (Points off for not using the correct plural milves.)
- The cover of Digital Sin's She Likes It Big 3 [watch] does nothing to illuminate the title, and where Kiki Vidis' ass says "pile driver" her crossed spiked heels just as loudly say "vagina dentata." Still, great picture.
- Finally, Pink Visual's Slutty Campus Teens 5 [watch] has its attention in the wrong place, I think. Tyler Stevens should be looking at us, rather than the guy with the lanyard. The guy seems to be saying, "I've got this and you don't." If Stevens was looking at us and he was looking at her, she'd be saying, "I'd rather be with you than this mope."
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Alternate dialogue for a MILF movie; Ed Fox: No mean feet; Eye candy: the 3.6 rule
See also: Red Light District, New Sensations, Pink VisualLabels: "red light district", alaska, art, audrianna angel, baby jayne, boxcover, feet, kiki vidis, MILF, mr. marcus, new sensations, pink visual, the ass, tyler stevens
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, September 05, 2008--
When adultery isn't exciting
 You know that their hearts aren't in it when they kiss in that lip-smacking way.
If you were a baby and someone kissed you on the ear that way, the way European porn lesbians kiss each other on the lips, you would avoid that person. You would think, "That person sounds when she kisses like most people sound when they eat chicken."
Maybe European porn performers approach their work with a blase' attitude. But how can you find fault with a picture like this (from Viv Thomas' Unfaithful 4)?
On that very comfortable-looking bed in a sun-washed room in some European capital, one woman goes barefoot while the other wears stockings. Meanwhile, on the couch, the lone shod woman is the most frank yet also the most overcome with ennui, as if she has read everything in the collection of encyclopediae in the bookcase to her right and she has nothing more to be excited by.
Porn Europeans show so little enthusiasm because years of cell phone use has rewired their senses, as indicated by the italics in the plot description below:
Nella and Lisa have agreed to spend some time alone. Lisa needs to reassess her life, but can she stay faithful as she lays awake at night, her body aching for the warmth of her young lover, her soul craving the taste of her fresh scent, and her mind speculating as to who she is with. Anyway, there is a lot going on in this photograph, if you would just stop jerking off for a moment and look at it.
 Unfaithful 4
Previously: Pink Velvet trilogy
See also: Viv ThomasLabels: Europe, feet, porn lesbians, viv thomas
posted by Gram the Man
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--Saturday, July 05, 2008--
Ed Fox: No mean feet
 Photographer Ed Fox (whose picture of the newly-minted Noname Jane debuted on this site a week ago) is displaying his work for Garage Magazine at a group show at San Francisco's Minna Gallery.
"Full Custom Living: The Art of Garage Magazine" is a group show featuring 26 contributors to the magazine devoted to custom cars, hot rods, and the art they inspire.
Fox' book "Glamour from the Ground Up" is, for lack of a better phrase, hands-down the most popular coffee table book on display in my office, attracting even the people who say they don't like porn. Fox' depictions of fleshy, hot-blooded vixens - each of whom has feet - are frank, compelling, and accessible with just enough professional affectation to make the viewer comfortable that he paid for a work of art.
In other words, you'd hang these pictures in a garage, but they don't look like they were shot in a garage (except for the photos that were actually shot in a garage).
As Governor of the State of California and one of its largest landowners, I was interested in how Fox, a Mexican-American and native Angeleno, approached his work, which seems to be particularly reflective of Los Angeles.
Gram: What do you think makes an L.A. setting instantly recognizable in a photograph?
Fox: The traffic and smog? Since I don't visit many other places, it's hard to know. Maybe it's the whole package: the models, their clothes, and the architecture.
 Gram: You can see why L.A.'s architecture is a certain way, and even how the clothes reflect the environment. But the models are particular to L.A. as well?
Fox: You just know how nice it would feel to squeeze them. It's the same reason I like a meaty foot, because there's more to squeeze. it's 'fleshy' instead of hard. I don't like it when the models start approaching 30 and start getting worried so they feel they have to work out extra hard and end up too lean and muscular. I think we are attracted to the fleshy girls because we are so used to seeing fake, overly manicured models (bleached hair, fake tits, tans, piercings etc.) that when these natural beauties come along, our jaws drop and we say 'where did you come from?'
The pictures on this page are of Jelena Jenson, Aria Giovanni, and Casey Parker.
 Gram: You get day laborers from Home Depot to pose with the likes of Kelly Madison, Tall Goddess, and No Name Jane (the former Violet Blue). I can imagine this beats low-cost caulking for Glendale slumlords.
Fox: Since I speak Spanish fluently, I kind of had a leg up which also allowed these guys to trust me or maybe feel more comfortable. The models just go with whatever I tell them and the ones that go with it always turn out the best results. Tall Goddess I remember always wanted more. She'd round them all up like cattle and everyone just had a great time. I don't know who got more out of it, the workers or her!
 Gram: How much did you pay the Home Depot guys?
Fox: Are you kidding? Being in the presence of these lovelies was payment enough. I thought of it as me bringing them these gifts. Like the 'untouchable' girls from the magazines would just fall out of the sky and land in front of them.
 Gram: In the foreword to "Glamour," (Leg Show editor) Dian Hanson makes note of the shyness of some fetish photographers. What is that about?
Fox: We foot fetishists come in all different forms. Some are blatant and others are more secretive, for a few reasons. I feel uncomfortable talking about it because people think it's weird and just don't understand. "Why feet?" "I don't know; why breasts or why blondes versus brunette?"
...If anything, foot fetishists have that one extra female body part to appreciate when those who don't get it are missing out.
...Also, it's a little more exciting or 'dirty' to keep the fetish on the down-low. it then becomes more of a voyeuristic thing.
 Gram: How do models who don't know you respond to "Take off your shoes," or, is there an attitude a good foot model shares with the photographer?
Fox: If a girl knows I have a foot fetish and in public says "oh here, look at my feet" and throws her shoe off and puts it in front of my face or on my lap, it totally ruins it. There's no going for the kill. Most likely that girl will not have nice feet anyway. Just because a girl takes care of her feet and gets pedicures weekly, doesn't mean she has nice feet. It's about shape, or size, odor or even how she teases you with it without her even knowing she's doing it.
Previously: The Voluptuous feet of Ed Fox; (Pop) Shot in the foot
See also: Ed Fox, Foot Factory, Minna GalleryLabels: Aria Giovanni, art, casey parker, ed fox, events, feet, fetish, interviews, jelena jenson, magazines, noname jane, photographers, san francisco
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, March 11, 2008--
The Voluptuous Feet of Ed Fox (and Jenna Presley)
 Photographer Ed Fox is, like late predecessor (and fellow Taschen photographer) Elmer Batters, a foot man.
But Fox' feet tend to be attached to equally juicy porn stars like Tera Patrick, Brittany Andrews, Jill Kelly, Kelly Madison, Aria Giovanni, Jewel De'Nyle, Belladonna, Penny Flame, and Jenna Presley, who is the cover girl of his debut book, "Ed Fox: Glamour from the Ground Up" from Taschen
"Ground up" is also a way we might describe the soul of a human being subjected to porn, so the title is very clever, the way we might talk about a foot fetish at the same time we could be referencing so much hamburger.
Powers and Presley will be on (hand?) to sign his book at Taschen's Beverly Hills store on March 27.
"A beautiful foot is an extra," Fox said. "The same as shapely breasts or a nice ass, and all part of a feminine shape. It's all about voluptuousness."
I have never before thought of feet as voluptuous, or that they could be. Now I will require it.
 "Glamour from the Ground Up" also includes a behind the scenes DVD.
Previously: (Pop) shot in the foot
See also: Ed Fox
Labels: Aria Giovanni, books, Brittany Andrews, ed fox, feet, fetish, Jenna presley, jewel de'nyle, Jill Kelly, kelly madison, photographers, tera patrick
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, February 14, 2008--
Nacho Vidal Fucks Them All - for Valentine's Day
 Nacho Vidal really does fuck them all. In fact, I'm surprised that this 2-disc set from Digital Sin is limited to bipedal women.
For about two minutes this week I thought, "Should I write something special for Valentine's Day?" and decided against it, because every day is Valentine's Day when you're getting porn for free and watching "triple anal bukkkae" scenes in your cold rented chamber for little to no money.
But nothing says love more than getting an oral pedicure from the same person to whom you're simultaneously giving an anal injection. And if that person is North Carolina's Brooke Ballentyne, whose name rhymes with Valentine in most countries, well, you've got a mandate.
Speaking of man date, I'm sure that's in Nacho's next movie. That guy is insatiable.
Previously: Nacho se divorcia
See also: Digital SinLabels: brooke ballentyne, digital sin, feet, nacho vidal, new porn daily, the ass
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, June 20, 2007--
The sacred semiotics of the stigmafoot
 The SiFeet Pussy Foot, a replica of a size-6 female right (or left) foot, is marketed with the attached image, depicting a pair of bound feet, one with a vagina in it.
You'd think that a foot with a vagina in it would be enough for foot fetishists, but the bonus is that the marital aid recalls the wounds of Our Lord, but in vagina form.
In general, smaller feet are in vogue for fetishists. Gina Lynn's feet - size 4.5 - are about the standard size. A size 6 is somewhat mannish, putting one in mind of the feet of a simple carpenter 2,000 years ago, when people were smaller.
We traditionally see Jesus' foot wounds, 20 percent of the stigmata, from the front. But it stands (ha ha!) to reason that the nail would go all the way through to the crucifix, leaving a vagina-sized exit wound.
Unless we are considering birth, we never think of the vagina as an exit, only an entrance. Since the New Testament was not particularly graphic, might the virgin birth have taken place somewhere near the shoes?
This image has disturbed me. Are there children born with vaginas in their feet? Parents probably try to keep that news from the popular press. It's hard to imagine walking that way, much less leaving footprints in the sand.
Previously: (Pop) Shot in the foot; Girls Lie
See also: JT's StockroomLabels: feet, jesus, marital aids
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, June 11, 2007--
(Pop) Shot in the foot
 Last week I watched a movie that wasn't necessarily a foot fetish movie in which Katja Kassin nevertheless jerked off her partner with her feet. It was not the first time I thought, Is there anything Katja Kassin can't do?
Still, that wouldn't have worked for me. I would have been worried about subdermal corns or muscle spasms. What if Katja got a charley horse in her powerful calves? No more Gram-hammer, that's what. In slow motion, we would have watched it arc over the air hockey table.
"Entschuldigung," she would say.
Saturday I visited the set of Kick-Ass Pictures' foot fetish movie Barefoot Confidential. Kick Ass isn't strictly a fetish house, but its owner, Mark Kulkis, is strict about certain things, which is admirable in a business in which teens aren't always teens and MILFs aren't always female.
It was Kick Ass and (former) contract star Mary Carey who parted ways when the latter got a boob job; Kick-Ass requires talent with no surgical enhancements.
And so there were rules about the display of feet in the scene I watched, between the delightful Micah Moore and Jack Lawrence, a guy who should be President of the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce for his genuinely friendly manner.
 "The foot has to be visible in each shot of the movie," I was told. "And no French Tipped toenails."
"French dipped?" I asked. You're damn right I wouldn't want to see Micah Moore dipping her feet in Au Jus, nice as she was.
I hadn't visited a Kick Ass function in a while, so I made a point of introducing myself. I hate when people show up, eat your hamburgers, and don't say Hello.
There was that moment on the set, after I'd been introduced to director Glen Baren and walked behind the camera, that Moore asked Lawrence, "Who's this guy?"
One thing that I wish producers would do when inviting press to sets is to let the talent know beforehand. Even the biggest exhibitionist likes to know who the audience is. I explained myself quickly, having forgotten my Gram Ponante: America's Beloved Porn Journalist satin jacket in the wash.
The scene was called "Barefoot Vegan". The script called for Moore to be an escort who refused to let Lawrence near her because he was a carnivore, but she'd let him suck on her toes. I give the screenwriter points for reality, because money changed hands before anything happened and she called it a "donation" (I also would have accepted "tip").
There was also a subtext of buyer's remorse; Lawrence had already forked over the cash before Moore dropped the bomb. This happened to me when I bet on the Ducks in the Preakness.
The actors improvised dialogue, which only added value to the scene. I realize the following line might seem crude to read, but it was hilarious in person.
"I can tell you're a vegan," Lawrence said, "because your butt-hole is tiny. You've got a spaghetti-shitting butthole."
Like Uber Ego, another company that releases fetish movies that uphold the standards of people who subscribe to that fetish, Kick-Ass took the niche seriously.
 "Could you spread your toes a little?" Baren asked Moore. "We need to fill the frame with the foot."
As feet go, Moore has great feet. But as a mathematician I was looking at her ass. I could teach geometry to lobotomites with her ass. She can make her ass into excellent examples of equilateral and scalene triangles.
Previously: Mary Carey hosts a happening; Mia and Ava Rose in Double Trouble;
See also: Kick Ass Pictures, Barefoot ConfidentialLabels: "set visits", feet, fetish, kick ass
posted by Gram the Man
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