| --Thursday, October 02, 2008--
Breaking: Asians involved in pornography
 PORN VALLEY, Calif.(GP:PVO) -- Naked Asian women performing sexual acts on themselves, each other, and even partially obscured men has been advanced as a potentially lucrative niche in the adult entertainment industry, sources say.
 "I've always liked breasts," said machinist Ken Dickinson, 40. "It was like a holy revelation to me that Asians had them as well."
 Indeed, say experts, Asian women have each of the five separate pieces of anatomy most coveted by porn consumers, as well as mouths, dubbed by Newsweek an "emerging blowjob apparatus."
 "This is the most significant discovery since the MILF/Cougar DNA string was mapped," said Loup Perch-Tounge, Science Officer of the Chatsworth Institute, an unintentionally not-for-profit Porn Valley think tank.
 "There were rumblings in the research community that when Latinas were also found to meet our requirements that there might be some undiscovered porn ethnicities out there," Perch-Tounge added, "but frankly we were way off. We just kept dressing up old women like schoolgirls."
 A cache of "Asian porn" was discovered on the InterWeb, featuring Tia Tanaka, Destiny, Kimmy Kahn, and Loni.
 "It's like they're black but Asian," said porn consumer Susie Ehrdinger, 23, "or that they're hot nurses, but Asian."
 "Or Latina schoolgirl MILFs, but Asian," said Gram Ponante, America's Beloved Porn Journalist.
 With the news that Asian women perform all the fleshly services traditionally provided by white women and your mom, foot and vehicle traffic has increased in Asian communities across the United States.
"I used to come to Koreatown for the barbecue," said Los Angeles resident Delroy Esquivel, a city planner. "Now I just want to fuck everybody."
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Japanese porn exporters put their money where the mosaic is
See also: Happy Asian porn for viewing OKLabels: asian, destiny, tia tanaka
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, August 12, 2008--
"Okay, Mystery Caller, deal me in": On the set of Asia Noir 6
 "How do you squeeze 100 pounds of genius into a 75-minute movie?" asked writer/director David Aaron Clark of the universe. He was on the sweltering set of Asia Noir 6 in downtown L.A., watching through monitors as Mr. Marcus, playing hardboiled detective Trent, give the business to a woman named Coco Velvet playing Lana, the bedeviled proprietress of an import/export business.
Tonight she was to import both Mr. Marcus and a huge strap-on dildo.
 It was the final three hours of a two-day shoot in a studio/loft space in the Repo Man section of downtown. The story of Trent's search for a demonic trinity played alternately by Destiny, Ange Venus, and Myla Montez (pictured below), Asia Noir 6 is also the first big movie for hapa ingenue Velvet.
 "'Hapa' has come into parlance among Asian-Americans to describe all manner of half-Asian mixes," Clark said sagely.
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard!
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word!
Half-breed, she's no good they warned!
Both sides were against me since the day I was born!
- Cher, "Half-Breed"
Trent had been searching the building in a daze all night, guided by cryptic phone calls leading him ever downward, Lana, naked on a couch, first dreams of the policeman and then gets sodomized by a succubus, which is not to be confused with this.
 Clark has made his career directing stern, eerie Asian titles and, though he appears as a pirate in Digital Playground's upcoming Pirates 2, he has never once directed Jesse Jane in a movie.
As she cooled her heels between her scene with Mr. Marcus and Destiny the Strap-on Succubus, Velvet curled up on a leather couch, slowly melting into it. When the strap-on came out (or, more to the point, went in), it tested her resolve.
"That's a little too big," she said.
"Do you need something smaller?" Clark asked.
"No, but let's get this done fast," she said.
It was not done fast. But you will not be able to say when Asia Noir 6 is released that Velvet did not earn her money that day.
 By the time Trent realizes that the building he is stalking through is a den of demons, it is too late. Destiny morphs into Myla Montez, who morphs into Ange Venus, who has become Clark's (and Max Hardcore's) go-to-person to represent what the Pixies called an erotic vulture.
Venus then does something to Marcus which is prohibited by most international treaties.
In the way that the Japanese have been able to turn watermelons square, perhaps 100 pounds of genius can be squeezed into a movie. Asia Noir 6 will be out in time for AVN nominations this fall.
See the Asia Noir 6 backstage gallery here.
Previously: No Man's Land Asian Edition 6; Stephen King's The Soaping; A certain kind of evil; Lystra is cage candy
See also: David Aaron Clark, MetroLabels: "david aaron clark", ange venus, asian, coco velvet, destiny, mr. marcus, myla montez, set visits
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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