| --Wednesday, June 18, 2008--
Buffet line in the Czech Republic - call for submissions
 Here is an image from the movie Carolina Jones and the Broken Covenant, which I just reviewed for an upcoming issue of the adult trade journal XBiz Premiere. What assumptions can you make about the movie by looking at this picture? There sure is a lot to think about! I'd like you to tell me.
Aside from some of the commenters in this post and this post, I feel that my readers are the smartest humans who happen to also be interested in porn of any website, and I think that each one of you, based on your assumptions about this image, could pitch and sell a perfectly good porn movie, because the rest of Carolina Jones, much as I dig Ava Rose and Bree Olson, certainly isn't one.
Previously: Sherman on Czech chicks, Lorena Sanchez
See also: Adam & EveLabels: "adam and eve", Ava Rose, bree olson, contest, czech republic
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, January 29, 2008--
Call for submissions: Gram needs prostitutes
 As you know, I write about prostitutes as often as I can and this MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant will allow.
But I am sick of searching Google for images of "prostitutes" when I know so many of my close personal friends list that occupation on their tax returns.
So I am looking for the Official GramPonante.com Prostitute whose image can grace every 2008 post about prostitution. The requirements are as follows:
1. The prostitute must be female and over the age of eighteen
2. The image must be a full shot of the subject in one of the 23-U.N.-sanctioned "hooker poses," including self ass-slapping, alley-leaning, bending to vehicle window, and showing up at hotel room door and saying "Hey, Sweetie."
3. A little nudity is OK, even encouraged
4. The photo(s) must be submitted by the subject herself
5. The subject need not be a prostitute currently but must make a convincing case for it
The Official GramPonante.com Prostitute will receive a text link to her website each time her image is used, as well as universal admiration.Labels: contest, prosties, website
posted by Gram the Man
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--Saturday, December 29, 2007--
Contest: Guess the Foot
 You will win nothing but my respect. I also have an old PS2 that I can't seem to get rid of.
Previously: Pussy Party 21 caption contest
Labels: contest, dvd, steven st croix
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, October 31, 2007--
Memphis Monroe debuts contest, new breasts
 Former face (and other parts) of Hustler Memphis Monroe has had some work done and wants to show it to you personally.
"I got new bewbies," she said.
Monroe relaunched her website recently and is sponsoring s series of contests to get the word out, including a grand prize of a party weekend on the Las Vegas strip with the corn-fed vixen.
Read more after the gap.
Fans subscribing to specific packages on MemphisMonroe.com will be entered in drawings for either an expenses-paid trip to the Strip with Monroe (and a discreet bodyguard) or Monroe-less long weekends in locations like Cancun, the Bahamas, and Hawaii.
"I like to give people the choice to do one or another," Monroe said. "Some members have wives or a lifestyle that doesn't allow them to be able to party with porn stars, if you know what I mean."
I assured her that my wife supports everything I do, but wondered, in the case of the Vegas trip, if the intense fan interaction might be overwhelming.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Monroe. That's me outside the window.
 "Most porn fans are normal everyday 9-5 people, just like me and you," she said. "So I totally look forward to meeting the lucky winners. I take this stuff seriously, so I will do my research on the winners."
Memphis' contest runs from now until December 31.
(top photo courtesy Matrix Content)
Previously: Memphis Monroe abandons contract stardom...; Memphis Monroe reveals dark side on her head; Derby Day for Memphis; End of the summer
See also: Memphis Contest Labels: contest, interviews, memphis monroe
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, October 19, 2007--
Gram's Kaption Kontest
 I know when and where and why this picture was taken, but you should just make something up anyway.
Captions utilizing the word "cocaine" are expected, but not necessary.
Have a great weekend.
Previously: Pussy Party 21 caption contest; Sorry, but all you'll get is the swordLabels: because, caption, contest, fotos
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, October 10, 2007--
Submitting your kink - whatever that is
 New York's Cine-Kink Festival takes pains (is that kinky?) to not box itself in (is that kinky?) by defining "Kink" in its request for submissions (is that kinky?) for its 2008 film festival.
We're looking to blur some boundaries and will be considering offerings drawn from both Hollywood and beyond, explicit or not, with works ranging from documentary to drama, camp comedy to hot porn - and everything in between.
Cutting across orientations, topics covered at CineKink have included - but are by no means limited to - BDSM, leather and fetish, swinging, non-monogamy and polyamory, roleplay and gender bending. Or, frankly, given the current moralistic climate, as long as it involves consenting adults, just about anything celebrating sex as a right of self expression. (Far be it from us to define "kink" - if you think your work might make sense in this context, please send it along!)
These people are such prudes. I think a strict sexual repression is tremendously kinky.
Previously: Joanna Angel tackles boobs; Hookin' Up; China Barbie no dream ho for Mattel
See also: CinekinkLabels: cinekink, contest, new york
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, June 14, 2007--
Pussy Party 21 caption contest
 Some early contenders:
- "See how much easier it is when there's no head?"
- Pimlico veterinarians struggle to save Barbaro
- "Wherever that foul ball went, we're splitting the difference on ebay"
- After eating the torso, lesbian zombies become curiously distracted - Andrew
Previously: Hunters gather funds, but don't hit lotto at Grotto; Scenes from a Pussy Party
See also: Cousin StevieLabels: "nicki hunter" "cousin stevie", contest, dvd, pussy party, sunny lane
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, May 11, 2007--
Free porn from Pink Visual - bat not included
 Just as I can be assured of a free copy of The Watchtower when I answer the question "How would you characterize your relationship with Jesus?", so, too, can you get free porn if you are one of the first online respondents to Pink Visual's survey.
Pink Visual is the Internet-to-DVD company that produces titles like Couples Seduce Teens. The first 100 surfers who take the time to answer 10 multiple choice and essay questions will be rewarded with a DVD along the lines of the classic title Boob Exam Scam.
The survey can be found here, and is slightly tricky: you must add your e-mail address to questions 7 or 8 in order to receive your DVD.
(Image from Extreme Holly Goes Solo.)
Previously: Couples Seduce Teens review; Huge Boobs Galore; From Christina to Vixen
See also: Pink VisualLabels: "pink visual", contest, dvd
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, May 01, 2007--
Sorry, but all you'll get is the sword
 Ninnworx and Woodman Entertainment are having a sales tournament for blessed artifacts from Pierre Woodman's Xcalibur, which received Best Director and Best Movie honors at this year's Brussels Erotica awards. Ninnworx is distributing the title in North America.
43rdpresidentoftheunitedstates asks: Grams, where's Brussels?
A: It is in Belgium, which is in Europe. Europe is famous for the 1986 hit "The Final Countdown".
This is not one of those contests where you submit your name and hope for the best; this requires you to do something.
The distributor with the highest total of 'Xcalibur' units purchased will receive the helmet and sword worn by Charlie Stygger as 'Arthur', based on invoiced orders. The top 'Xcalibur' retail sales winner will receive the 'Xcalibur' sword, used by Lancelot, portrayed by Georges Reno. Each will be accompanied by a certificate inscribed with authenticity information, specially designed for the winner by Ninn Worx creative team.
The contest is limited to distributors and retailers with US addresses only. For complete contest rules, contact Tom Deniro at sales@ninnworx.com.
Xcalibur is but the first of a trilogy. I hope later installments don't involve grail-based cum slurping, especially if I'm not paid for that awesome idea.
Previously: Hookers, Reality, Suicide; Cum Greed; Hotter than a Balrog
See also: Woodman Entertainment, Ninnworx, Utter the charm of making
Labels: contest, directors, dvd, geekery, ninnworx, pierre woodman, woodman entertainment
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, January 03, 2007--
Because I could not wait for MILFs...
 Pity the MILF. While you were out boozing it up with all your buddies, getting up to God-knows-what, she was back at home raising your children in her thong. No New Year's revelry for her; she was on her knees scrubbing your boat deck with her ass in the air, dreaming only of chocolate-covered cherries and her weekly Bunko game.
Now she and all her MILF friends are going out without you, and you'll be sorry. You know what a minivan full of bustier-clad unbalanced estrogen levels is called? I don't either. Half of Fleetwood Mac, maybe? I don't know.
Anyway, to celebrate Sinsation Pictures' release of Dee's movie MILFs' Night Out, star Kristal Summers has signed several copies that will be offered exclusively via my friends at Gamelink. It is like your mother is signing your homework, except with sex.
MILFs' Night Out also stars Demi Delia, TJ Powers, Kitty Langdon, and Brooke.
Previously: Michelle Aston will eat your girlfriend like a sandwich; Your mother should probably be arrested; Your week in MILFs
See also: Sinsation Pictures
Labels: contest, dvds, MILF
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, December 29, 2006--
Pure Vanilla suggests way to actually make money at AVN Expo
 Pure Vanilla, producer of a rechargeable card that allows users to surf porn more or less anonymously, will be giving away $10k in cash to one AVN Expo attendee next month.
The New York-based company is a sponsor of the Expo and each visitor will receive a Pure Vanilla card with his or her ticket, printed with contest rules. Those hoping to win must be present when the prize drawing is held Saturday, January 13.
Pure Vanilla's unofficial spokesman is Cousin Stevie, and for the simple fact that a porn company is promoted by an over-60 guy from Brooklyn rather than a 19-year-old from Encino makes their site worth looking at.
Previously: The TrustCash experiment; Everybody wants a piece of the action; Scenes from a Pussy Party
See also: Pure VanillaLabels: contest, news
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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