| --Tuesday, September 23, 2008--
Bree Barrett busts out the abacus
 "But the numbers don't go that high," says Bree Barrett as she tries to calculate Jake Malone's age (56) in She Is Half My Age 4. Not since Attention Whores and Raincoaters P.O.V. (both of which are also JM Productions titles) has the name of a series so deftly capyured both subject and audience.
 When Nicole Banks is asked when she was born, she says "April." When pressed, she says "April 1987." She also hesitates when asked where she is from.
"Arizona?" she says.
I'd feel the same way.
Download She Is Half My Age 4 here.
Watch She Is Half My Age 4 here.
Previously: This girl is half his age; Godel, Escher, Bree Barrett
See also: Brandon IronLabels: arizona, bree barrett, canada, halia hill, jake malone, new porn daily, nicole banks
posted by Gram the Man
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--Sunday, August 24, 2008--
Mandy Morbid's disappearing Hospital
 Pictured are director Benny Profane and coverpatient Mandy Morbid at tonight's release party for the movie Hospital, starring Morbid as the amnesiac and trepanning-happy Lucy.
I look forward to seeing this movie (as I look forward to seeing all Vivid-steve movies) not only for the cast (which includes Caroline Pierce, Zak Sabbath, a Mexican enchantress named Sochee Mala, and Indiana's own Marie McCray), but also to see what Profane did with a larger budget than his self-produced Psychocandy movies, which he described as "dates that ended up going really well."
Industry spokesperson Sabbath said that "there are parts of [Hospital] that we're like, we know, but it's all intentional" and Profane said of McCray and Mala that they are "devastating."
I can't watch movies at 11 p.m. with spilled beer on me, but I will say that the cover art of this movie is simple and effective. It makes me want to know about the past Morbid has forgotten, especially if she has the same breasts in that past.
The party was at the Redwood in downtown L.A., a place that looks like it has been there for a hundred years but was probably redone a few years ago (with a nautical theme) to look that way. What is reality? A young woman flirted with me until her girlfriend told her that I was the AntiChrist.
Speaking of divine intervention:
The flash on my camera wasn't working, as if the Intelligent Designer Himself had decreed that there would be no more fitting a picture heralding an amnesia movie than one in which its subjects were fading away.
I received a purloined copy of the movie and will review it soon, but in the meantime, you should buy it.
 Hospital
Previously: Benny Profane, Zak Sabbath, and Audacia Ray walk into a party at which a woman pops balloons by means of darts she shoots out of her pussy; Barbed Wire Kiss review
See also: Benny ProfaneLabels: "benny profane", canada, caroline pierce, events, mandy morbid, steveporn, zak sabbath
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, July 10, 2008--
Nikki Benz oils Edmonton
 Did you know that Edmonton, Alberta, is the northernmost North American city with a population of over one million? Neither did I. Nor did Nikki Benz.
But I know we feel a lot closer to Edmonton now that I know Nikki Benz is going there for an in-store appearance. It is as if Benz, born in Toronto, is our gateway to the mysterious North.
"This will be a great chance for me to meet more of my Canadian fans," said Benz, who will be appearing this Saturday from 1 to 5 p.m. (Canadian) at the new Hush Adult Superstore at 9876 63 Avenue. "Even though I'm from Canada, the only places I've been are my home town of Toronto and Vancouver."
 So Benz probably did not know that citizens of Edmonton are known as Edmontonians (though, as a Torontonian, she probably could have guessed) and that the city is host to North America's largest mall, the West Edmonton Mall. In fact, Benz could drive the 17 km across the Saskatchewan River to the mall after her appearance.
I'm really excited for her. I hope she brings me back a caribou or some socialized medicine.
Previously: Nikki Benz in Babysitters; Playboy's mounting Canadians; Sabrina Deep to (be bukkake) surface in 12 cities
See also: Nikki Benz,Labels: canada, edmonton, events, nikki benz
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, May 20, 2008--
Sabrina Deep to (be a bukkake) surface in 12 cities
 "Sex should be free," said Sabrina Deep, who last year hosted, both in her home and in her vagina, a 77-man gangbang.
This summer Deep will take her philosophy around the world, stopping in 12 cities to be the focal point of bukkakes from London to Berlin to Rome to Vancouver, culminating in a 110-man Tokyo bukkake on September 11, her 30th birthday.
Japan was the country that invented the bukkake, so September 11 will be a Canterbury pilgrimage of sorts with Deep as the Wife of Cum Bath.
"I take it like I'm going on little holidays," Deep said. "Sexually there is probably more
roughness in cities like Berlin and London, more
"Can-I-date-you-after-we've-finished-with-this" in Italy, more I'm-glad-I-have-unloaded-my-balls" in cities like Toronto and Vancouver. I'm not sure about the United States and Japan. I'll let you know."
"I already know what it's like in the United States," I said. "I own this place. At my house it's like Bukkakalypse Now."
Deep says that the events have all been set up by fans who live in those cities, but Tokyo's bukkake session will be more regimented, adhering to that country's sacred bukkake traditions.
 "I'll have to stick to the rigid rules of classic Japanese bukkake," she said. "No fucking, collected come, final drinking. I believe that a Japanese lady will be the official collector during the process."
Bukkakador attendance is often limited, and several cities are already booked. Participation is free to healthy men who can prove they are over 18.
Deep's World Bukkake Tour begins Monday in Toronto. The first currently available day is June 12 in Rome. The two US dates, in New York and Columbus, OH, are in August, in case you're interested. I'd say, "What are you waiting for? Sign up now!" but that would be pandering.
Previously: Sabrina Deep: Gangbang across the water
See also: World Bukkake TourLabels: bukkake, canada, england, events, germany, japan, sabrina deep, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, April 09, 2008--
Playboy's mounting Canadians
 I talked with Danny Vegas (formerly Daniel Lenko), title character of Playboy's The Boy Nexxt Door (the lack of three Xs should tip you off that its Playboy and he's Canadian), who told me about delivering pizza and making porn in his parents' basement in his native Edmonton, Alberta.
"I had no girls and no guys," he said. "I'd go to bars to recruit and the guys would be all for it until they heard they'd be seen by other people."
Vegas trudges through the snow to deliver pizza in his Flock of Seagulls haircut, then returns home to discover his mother has moved his Lord of Asses DVD while tidying up.
Vegas was 20 when Playboy began filming him two years ago. The Boy Nexxt Door looks staged even by reality show standards, but it still has elements you wouldn't find elsewhere, like unabashed Canadian accents, real snow, and Vegas himself, whose wholesome Tim Burton look identifies him as the rebel in his neighborhood.
We also meet his school film teacher, who encourages Vegas' nascent porn career. His teacher would probably be out of a job south of the border, but no one seems to blink when he talks about his use of porn to "short-stroke myself to ecstasy" or, after declining Vegas' offer to stunt-cock in one of his movies, says "the old grey mare ain't what he used to be." Silly Canadians have different genders for horses.
 "I started watching porn when I was 12," Vegas said. "The way my family is, there was no taboo, though now they draw a distinction between directing and performing."
Vegas' parents seem less long-suffering and more bemused than the parents of Jackass' Bam Margera, but the show still plays up their confusion and, according to Vegas, "the neighbors still don't know." (Vegas and I talked on the phone, so he probably said "neighbours.")
The series plays on Friday nights on Playboy TV, and culminates with Vegas' trip to last year's AVN show. He says that he will soon get word if there is to be a season 2.
Vegas finally did get local performer Zaira to film a scene after several failed attempts to get local bar girls to perform.
"Maybe I went about it the wrong way," he said. "I'd say to girls, 'Well, you're going to go home and fuck somebody at the end of the night anyway; you might as well get paid for it.'"
Previously: Scenes from the class struggle in Playboy's Penthouse
See also: PlayboyLabels: amateur, canada, danny vegas, interviews, playboy, reality, zaira
posted by Gram the Man
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