| --Wednesday, June 11, 2008--
Belladona shares views on tank, 2005
 "The other day I paid $96 for a tank of premium unleaded for my 2005 Range Rover," said Belladonna.
Experts on porn and fuel warn that refilling the tank from Half results in less gas evaporation than refilling from Empty, and that the optimum time to refill is in the late evening or early morning, when the chill makes for denser gasoline.
It is not apparent at press time whether Belladonna used this map for her refueling.
With the Range Rover's average city MPG of 12 and the Los Angeles subway system so inadequate, is it any wonder why Belladonna doesn't visit you?
And remembering that the 2005 Range Rover's 26-gallon tank only takes 91-octane fuel, I bet you're feeling pretty sheepish that you gave her a hard time for not bringing two coolers of Narragansett to your last barbecue.
Shame on you.
As gas prices rise, Americans are seeking ways to do more with less, hence my squeezing 150 words out of a one-sentence quote.
Previously: Porn economics: Vaginas and gas
See also: BelladonnaLabels: belladonna, money, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, June 09, 2008--
Erotica L.A. in a nutrag
 As the adult industry adapts to a changing economy it also continues to evolve. Nowhere was porn's dedication to the new sexual aesthetic more apparent than at this weekend's Erotica L.A., in which fans in and out of wheelchairs sampled the erotic future of 22" rims, glass bongs, and scented candles.
 And, in a tribute to erotica of the past, porn stars like Jesse Jane, Kimberly Kane, and Sunny Lane acknowledged the quaint fascination some people still have with naked women, like Tera Patrick.
Just as Apple will unveil new products at its annual convention, Mac Expo, Erotica L.A. was the place where the world first got to see the Nut Rag.
 "It's a towel you jerk off into," explained someone wandering by the unattended table. "And the towel has all sorts of euphemisms printed on it for jerking off. Get it? GET IT???"
 The annual three-day event was, as usual, a more intimate affair than the sensory overload that is the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas. The majority of attendees appeared to be from Los Angeles, as 90 percent of them were wearing Lakers-branded clothing. They milled through aisles lined with booths selling lingerie, naughty chocolates, male enhancement products, and Motorhead paraphernalia, and all seemed to be in good spirits.
Touching Stories
 Dominatrix Natali Demore was scared the first time a man asked her to kick him in the nuts. I was scared just thinking about it. "So I kicked him gently at first," she said, "but then he asked me to do it harder and I really let him have it."
"What sort of shoes were you wearing?" I probed.
"Heavy ones," she said.
Adult conventions welcome the differently-abled in a way the narrow aisles of Trader Joe's doesn't. There were a lot of familiar faces among the wheeled set and one guy, a paraplegic who went by the handle Big Daddy, approached Ava Rose and Bree Olson for a picture and they proceeded to get all over him, giving new meaning to the term handicapped accessible. "I know him from my MySpace page," said Rose. "He's sweet." Next time I go to an adult convention, I'm rolling up in my iron lung.
 Backstage at the FAME Awards, long known as the White Urban Spice Awards, Nicki Hunter interviewed attendees for the Internet station Rude TV, which is probably the only TV network that incorporates a couple of angry sperm in its logo. A delicious Sophia Santi and Penny Flame dropped by, and onlookers were treated to Flame's capering. Where I come from, we would call Flame a hot shit. (Somehow typing those words doesn't convey the affection that endearment represents).
"You fucked me," stormed a starlet at a FAME Awards organizer as he followed her through the backstage area. "You fucked me!" In that there were plenty of people around, I can only assume we were all meant to hear this exchange. "Fucked" in this case meant "disappointed."
"I hate these things," said Jenna Haze in the media room as she submitted to more pictures, and tried to leave. "But you need to do some soundbites!" she was told. "Nope," she said. "I'm leaving." Good for you, Jenna.
Jenny Hendrix was brunette. I didn't recognize her. I hadn't seen her in a while, and we had once been so close. "I'm taking it easy until my contract with (talent agency) L.A. Direct runs out on July 5," she said. "I'm not hurting for money."
"In that case," I said. "Give me ten million dollars."
"Is this your first Erotica L.A.?" I asked.
"No," the 22-year-old said. "I've been to three of them. I'm old."
Some day I'll be 22. I hope I don't feel that way then.
Justine Joli and Kimberly Kane shared a booth as well as a penchant for alphabetically sequential alliteration. "You should do a movie with LL Cool J," I said, and regretted it even before I'd finished saying it. But you really could go through most of the alphabet with alliterative porn names. Heather Vandeven was also there, promoting her new site, myheathervandeven.com. If only. The three have the same webmistress.
 Angie Savage introduced me to her friend Mia Presley. I like that they are friends; it makes me think the world will be better.
Satine Phoenix stayed for the FAME Awards' red carpet but didn't attend the show. She had places to go. I wanted to set up a barbecue in the back to compel her to stay, but it wasn't to be.
 Ava Rose was half barefoot. Some day the other shoe will drop.
"I need to get my girls through," said publicist Adella O'Neal of Digital Playground, shepherding a gaggle of contract girls to the front of the red carpet line. "I want to see Stoya!" said Roxy Deville. Me, too, Roxy. But Stoya should also see you.
Aiden Starr was in a cowboy hat. She doesn't know why either.
 "The last time I saw the two of you, you were naked on skates," I said to Sunny Lane and Bree Olson. Such a creepy thing to say, I thought. And yet it was true, and I said it. They didn't seem to mind. If they are reading this, they are free to say inappropriate things to me at any time. Seriously: any time.
Notable Products And Services
Little Fetish Fairy (littlefetishfairy.com)- This Orange County-based clothing line has been marketed to the discreet woman who is alarmed by aggressive BDSM gear and wants to appear feminine and willing but not be too in your face about it. It's a delicate balance.
The Pink Cross (thepinkcross.org) - Another organization renting space within an adult convention that seeks to liberate people from the adult indistry. They hand out a pamphlet with the testimonials of Sierra Sinn, Jersey Jaxin, and Becca Bratt detailing the horros of the adult industry. "We don't have anything to do with XXX Church or JC's Girls," said a spokesperson for the Bakersfield, CA-based ministry. "We provide hope for porn stars and porn addicts."
 The Chocolate Walrus - "Come and get a piece of ass!" I was told. "Come and get a pussy on a stick!" Naturally I assume this meant the Tijuana Chamber of Commerce had a booth, but I was pleasantly surprised to be given a chocolate ass. This Reno company sells sex toys and chocolate confections next door to the family-oriented chocolate store that manufactures its confectionary penises on the side.
Adult Decor (adultdecor.com) - Let's say you are a swinger or are no longer dirt poor, having recently won the lottery. Then this boutique, which sells erotic statuary, is for you.
Adult Vest (adultvest.com) - This company has some money behind it, and as such it was not apparent to me what it actually did (this happens a lot in the adult business). A small firm that seeks to introduce private investors to adult companies seeking funding for expansion, Adult Vest is like a few other organizations that, in recent years, have sought to bring Wall Street ideals to porn and to bridge the gap between mainstream businesspeople and their porn counterparts. Not the place to go if you want to shooot your first porn movie and need $30k, but a place to go, in theory, if you want to sell your studio or adult trade show.
Natch Snatch (natchsnatch.com)- This Baltimore-based company makes phthalate-free sex toys that "take the tox out of your box." Like many sex toy companies, this one grew out of a mainstream business that happened to have a lot of the necessary materials lying around, in this case: phthalate-free patches for children's clothing.
Clitoraid (clitoraid.org) - Not, as I'd originally thought, a soft drink, but instead an organization dedicated to restoring, through surgery, clitoral sensation to women who have suffered clitoridectomies at the hands of their tribes, fathers, husbands, and even other women. A clinic for the surgery is being set up in Burkina Faso, sponsored by the Raelians, a UFO cult that has close ties to Clonaid, which two years ago claimed to have engineered a device that cloned a baby.
I was attracted to their booth by the sign "Adopt A Clitoris" and a woman in pasties, who told me all about the organization, save for the Raelians and UFO cult connection. As we talked, a couple of guys tried to get pictures of her, and she asked them to stop taking pictures unless they made a donation. They kept doing it so I blocked their cameras with my massive frame. I hope the UFOs will reward me some day.
 As I was leaving on Sunday I heard a voice, a combination of Debra Winger and Valerie Harper that made me think of the movie An Officer And a Rhoda. It was Jamye Waxman talking about my frenulum in a Pleasure Chest seminar. After that conversation with Natali Demore, my testicles had not yet descended from my sternum. Waxman, as she has helped thousands before me, returned them to their natural pendularity.
 The Longest Line Award goes to Belladonna, whose queue extended pretty much out the door to the Staples Center.
See the gallery here.
Previously: Erotica L.A. 2006; Erotica L.A. 2007
See also: Erotica LALabels: "nicki hunter", "stormy daniels", Ava Rose, belladonna, bree olson, erotica L.A., events, jamye waxman, natali demore, penny flame, sophia santi, sunny lane
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, May 21, 2008--
Stoya finds cigarettes, pierogies in Philadelphia
 I like Stoya because she reminds me of an Edward Gorey character with all the working parts Gorey himself wasn't interested in. I also think she has a wonderful face, reminiscent of my Soviet forebears. I have recently begun a Stoya immersion program (it's even better than you think) and talked with her via interweb technology at her home in South Philadelphia.
Gram: Why have you left me?
Stoya: I didn't move to offend you personally. I lived in L.A. for a year a couple of years ago, but I wanted to get back to my friends in Philadelphia. I have locational ADD. If any landlords are watching, I'll probably skip out on you in ten months or so.
 Gram: The Man doesn't read this website; only The People.
Stoya is in the two-disc DVD Cheerleaders. In the first disc she hangs by a locker and listens to the other girls talk dirty. In the second disc she reluctantly agrees to cheat on her boyfriend with Brianna Love and Manuel Ferrara.
Gram: There was some dramatic tension in Cheerleaders that you don't normally see in porn movies. You were what the movie became about.
Stoya: Oh, I'd say Jesse Jane was the star. I think you're biased.
 Gram: Goddamn right I'm biased. But you knew what Jesse Jane would be up to through the whole movie. You had a character arc.
Stoya: Those girls had big breasts.
Gram: That they did. That also set you apart. You worked with the only other woman (Brianna Love) whose breasts wouldn't put out your eye.
 Stoya: I have breasts. They're not humongous but they're fine. They've done fine for me as an adult in her breeding years. But when they sit me next to a girl who's 5'4" and has a couple of Double Ds I feel like a gawky teenager.
Until her wireless signal ran out, Stoya led the computer on a guided tour of her neighborhood.
Gram: Do you eat Philadelphia cheese steaks?
Stoya: No. I'm not in a vegetarian phase right now, but all that meat still makes me sick. I like pierogies. And spinach nuggets.
Gram: What about California? We don't really have pierogies here.
Stoya: Well, I like avocados. In fact, I love avocados.
Gram: I don't suppose you can go to the beach. You look translucent on this Interweb device.
Stoya: I have to cake on a lot of SPF-50. I don't care if I look like a jackass. I just don't want to combust. My mother gave me three rules: As long as you don't chew gum or stick anything in your butt you'll remain a lady. Well, I don't chew gum. Also: Don't use heroin. Check. Finally: Stay out of the sun.
Gram: Prior to becoming Stoya of Digital Playground, what did you do, or has your previous existence been suppressed?
 Stoya: I shot for GodsGirls.com and Razordolls.com, and I was a go-go dancer at clubs. It was like getting paid to work out while drunk. It was the best job. (Photo by Nikola Tamindzic)
Gram: What do you drink?
Stoya: Candy drinks and old man drinks. I like pomegranate schnapps. I could drink a whole bottle. And I used to walk into bars and slap my Marlboro Reds down on the bar and ask for whiskey. The bartender would say, "Really, Little Girl? Are you sure you're not an 80-year-old man?"
Gram: Well are you?
Stoya: Fairly sure.
Gram: Because if you were an 80-year-old man, I'd be asking myself some hard questions. Pirates II just wrapped. I would have gone to the set but only a select few were invited.
Stoya: People talk about how massive an undertaking it was, but I was only there for a few days. I did get fisted by Belladonna, however, which was magical and amazing.
 Gram: In terms of the big Digital Playground movies that are not about pirates, is there a pattern? What's the next logical step in the sequence that goes from Babysitters to Cheerleaders to ... ?
Stoya: They don't tell me because they don't want me leaking it, because I would. I don't know. Librarians?
 Gram: Not that I advocate MySpace (now that I have reached my early 20s I have settled down for a more Facebook sort of life), but is your MySpace blog really yours?
Stoya: At first it wasn't, but now it's all me. Someone was writing it for me. I had to say, "It hurts me to see someone writing with two Ts and eight exclamation points pretending they're me." So I do it now.
Gram: That's greatt!!!!!!!! So, you're staying in Philadelphia between movies?
Stoya: I even got a bus pass here.
Previously: Thomas Aquinas becomes Digital Playground contract saint; Stoya avoids labels; Jenny Hendrix keeps in touch; No Easter for Alix Lakehurst
See also: Stoya, Digital PlaygroundLabels: alcohol, Apple, belladonna, brianna love, Digital Playground, interviews, jesse jane, manuel ferrara, pennsylvania, stoya, technology
posted by Gram the Man
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--Saturday, May 10, 2008--
April Flores, Alix Lakehurst, and Mr. Skin
 Two of my favorite people talk with each other in a recent article on Mr. Skin.com.
Alix Lakehurst interviewed April Flores for the Chicago-based mainstream movie nudity website and the Kiss Attack performer talked about working with Belladonna, idolizing Rita Hayworth, and being her own favorite porn star.
Read the article here.
Previously: April Flores: Diva; Young Hollywood and the birth of the United States; No Easter for Alix Lakehurst
See also: April Flores: The Skinterview; April Flores, Alix LakehurstLabels: alix lakehurst, april flores, bbw, belladonna, chicago, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, May 09, 2008--
It's not Mother's Day for Belladonna's dog
 I just wrote a very nice Mother's Day piece about Belladonna in The Naughty American, but I was horrified by how she turned a deaf ear to her little dog, Oz, today during her scene with Mr. Pete.
Regarding this Mother's Day article, I wanted Belladonna from the beginning but I also wanted to include other porn stars who I knew were moms. I asked eight other women, some of whom refused because they didn't want their fans to know they'd given birth or because they didn't want their offspring to be mentioned on an adult site (though I wouldn't print their names or use their pictures). Others said yes but then didn't respond to interview questions.
So I'm grateful to Belladonna for being so forthcoming. It makes me think of this poem:
Late October showers
Bring delicate skeleton flowers
A ghostly sight
On Halloween night
They softly glow for hours - Calef Brown
Previously: Ashley Blue channels Belladonna
See also: BelladonnaLabels: belladonna, mr. pete, pets
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, August 09, 2007--
Is this ass haunted by Cylons?
 "Kara Thrace hung out in the green room," said David Aaron Clark, seen here backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel Show with frequent AVN Awards host Jim-Norton, Katee Sackhoff, and Belladonna . "J. Lo's husband did not hang out in the green room."
Previously: Caprica Six gets a ten; Hotter than a Balrog
See also: David Aaron Clark, Belladonna, Katee Sackhoff on IMDb, Jimmy Kimmel LiveLabels: "david aaron clark", belladonna, geekery
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, July 18, 2007--
Ashley Blue channels Belladonna
 Today I visited the set of Belladonna Entertainment's Odd Jobs 3, a "blowjob, handjob, and footjob" movie. Today's scene featured Steve Taylor and Ashley Blue.
Belladonna and Ashley Blue are often thought of as the most graphic and outrageous women in porn. Yet they are America's Sweethearts.
Read more after the break in the HTML continuum.
The location was on the Porn Valley side of Laurel Canyon Blvd. Blue talked about a house up the hill that fell down the mountain during the rains two years ago.
 "I did my first interracial scene in that house," she said. I hadn't known that was a porn house. Of all the pictures taken of the famous house that fell down the hill, I don't remember any mentions of its porn celebrity. I can imagine an L.A. Daily News piece on "The House that Porn Made Fall Down the Hill".
As the cast prepared, Belladonna talked about what we can learn from celebrity.
"I had sex with a celebrity," she said, "and I got an STD from it. I called the guy and he didn't know what chlamydia was."
"Who was he?" Blue asked.
"He was a rock guy," Belladonna said. "I told him I had an STD and he asked what an STD was."
"I'm sure he knew what crabs were," Taylor said.
I mentioned that buying a bass guitar in Los Angeles County comes with a free case of crabs.
 But Bella allowed that, despite the musician's lack of knowledge of the chlamydia that he had, he didn't freak out when she started her period on his bed.
"He said, 'The maids will take care of it'," she said. "I thought that was cool."
But will the maid take care of his chlamydia??
 It may surprise you that the premise for some porn movies is very thin, and is sometimes arrived at mere seconds before shooting.
"You're a pizza guy," suggested Aiden, the director and Belladonna's husband. "You say, 'Pizza delivery' and then you deliver it."
This plan was scrapped when Belladonna revealed that she had thrown away the pizza box.
Then it was suggested that Taylor be an adult journalist and I would be his photographer. Taylor would demand a blowjob from Blue in order to kickstart her career with his media connections.
It was at this point that the ideas began flowing fast and furious, because we all felt we knew this character.
"Right!" Blue said to Taylor. "And you're a failure and your own career isn't what you want it to be, so you take it out on porn girls by acting better than them. You're like, 'What will you do after porno?' - "
I suggested, "And ask questions like, 'And how ashamed of yourself are you?'"
Blue continued, "Yeah, and you're like, 'Didn't you ever want to be a real actress?'"
We felt the reality of these characters coursing through us.
As Konstantin Stanislavsky said, “What is important to me is not the truth outside myself, but the truth within myself.”
"Usually no one sees my face in a movie like this," said Taylor, who has been a performer for 12 years. "Usually it's my dick entering from the left side of the frame."
(Or the right side, if the blowjob is in Hebrew.)
But with this setup we felt we could all organically move within our characters and breathe some real life into them. For my part, I spoke with an Australian accent.
 I watched from a balcony with Belladonna as the blowjob scene unfolded below.
"You're getting a real fetish blowjob," Blue improvised to Taylor, the adult journalist. "My private clients would pay two thousand dollars for this."
Aiden decreed that there had to be 33 percent hands, 33 percent feet, and 33 percent mouth in the scene, which will debut on EnterBelladonna.com and then be released to DVD.
"Wait a minute," Blue's character said. "I can't put my mouth on your cock. I haven't seen your (HIV) test."
"Oh, we can call and get the results afterward," Taylor said without hesistation. Just like real life!!
None of Blue's clothes came off in the scene. She mentioned that her partner, the photographer Dave Naz, who shoots for a lot of fetish magazines and sites, says people who are truly into legs, or feet, or breasts - whatever the fetish is - often don't care to see any other part of the performer's body.
I find this abhorrent, but then I am narrow-minded. I also can't understand people who don't drink.
Blue and Taylor improvised paragraphs of dialogue about a naive porn star who believes that blowing a disreputable adult journalist will help her career.
"I've helped hundreds of girls," Taylor said, and then: "You're making a mess."
"Oh, I'll have the maids clean it up."
Soon after, Taylor was allowed to pop.
"Cool," Blue said.
 Afterward, I asked Belladonna and Blue which of them was the Dirtier. Each nominated the other, but they eventually decided on Blue. I asked them to pose as if Blue had said something shocking, but in reality both were very wholesome.
Previously: Belladonna wants you to be happy; Erotica L.A. 2007 in review; Ashley Blue: What she isn't
See also: Belladonna, Dave Naz (and Ashley Blue's blog thereon. Of her dog, she says, "I love him so much it is almost homicidal.")Labels: "set visits", ashley blue, belladonna, interviews, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, June 13, 2007--
Belladonna wants you to be happy
 "I don't care what they love me for," Belladonna said yesterday. "I just care that they love me."
Belladonna will be interacting with the "they", her fans, from June 22-24, appearing all three days of Erotica L.A. at the Evil Angel booth (clap four times) deep in the heart of the L.A. Convention Center. "If they like me in my long-haired, thicker period or today's version, I'm still flattered."
Her eagerness to please is different from that of the standard contract star. Belladonna is arguably the most popular gonzo girl in the world, known for doing just about anything (we'll get to what she won't do later) but also willing to give voice to her ambivalence about it.
She said in a recent interview with the Salt Lake Weekly that she has tried to ease herself out of performing but she always convinces herself - or gets convinced - to stay.
"In the beginning I was very open," she said. "I thought more of what the other person than what I did. That feeling is still there, but it has changed."
The once and sometime Michelle Sinclair has a long history of customer service, having worked at Sears, Victoria's Secret, Subway, and 7-11. "I love meeting fans," she said, "and I read their comments and e-mails.
One such e-mail asked if she would try "rosebudding", or a forced rectal prolapse (the involuntary version, when the rectum is pulled out upon the withdrawla of another object, like a penis, is called a "red sock". I learned this at the U.N. Council on Boning last month).
"That's not really my style," Belladonna said.
 What is her style is intense contact with girls. "I like girls who can go along with me," she said. She is shooting this month with the likes of Sandra Romain and Lorelei Lee who, like the song says, "can take a lot of pain."
I asked if the fan experience ever got to her. Porn stars are likelier than their Hollywood counterparts to be seen out and about, and the availability of clinical pictures as well as often-unintentionally revealing BTS footage sometimes gives fans a proprietary feeling.
"People are surprisingly respectful," she said. "Maybe because I'm so open people don't bother me, especially when I'm out with my (two-year-old) daughter."
Instead, people will often keep their distance when Bella is not on the job.
"They'll e-mail me and say, 'I was standing in line with you at Whole Foods last night but I didn't wanmt to bother you'."
Previously: Belladonna in a haystack
See also: Belladonna, Erotica LA, Sex Machine (slweekly.com)Labels: "vena virago" wgl, belladonna, erotica L.A., interviews
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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"The other day I paid $96 for a tank of premium unleaded for my 2005 Range Rover," said Belladonna.
