I first met Krissy Leigh on the set of Adam & Eve's The 8th Day, where her ability to fall out of her clothes was inspiring. The other day I bumped into her at the Pirates 2 premiere.

"What are you up to?" I asked (because I am America's Beloved Porn Journalist).

"I signed with Spiegler," she said.

Spiegler Girls handles, I believe, the adult industry's most sex-ready performers.

"Great choice," I said. "And have you been keeping busy?"

"I do anal all the time now," she said.

If this had been a phone conversation, I would have said, "I'll be right over." As it was, she was standing right in front of me. Thank you, Jesus.

See the full Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge gallery here.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Life in a porn dorm isn't all pillow fights and orgies; And on The 8th Day, God blew up Boston

Labels: because, events, krisssy leigh, the ass, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, September 29, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

"I am Shiva the God of Death," Ange Venus did not say at the Pirates 2 premiere.

See the full Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge gallery here.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: No Man's Land: White Man's Burden

Labels: ange venus, asian, because, Digital Playground, events

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, September 29, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Oddly enough, some people complained that the last post was too amphibious, so here is a picture of the delightful and terrestrial Ava Rose (or at least a delightful several inches of her) from the movie Hello Nurse!

Sometimes it is important to bring people back to their comfort level after several paragraphs of fisting frog entrails, and Ava Rose is my comfort level.

Hello Nurse!

Previously: Ava Rose at home; Night Shift Nurses - Sweat Lodge
See also: Adam & Eve

Labels: Ava Rose, because, new porn daily

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, August 19, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Whatever else you might think of GramPonante.com, apparently it is no longer down (though problems remain). Absent any actual news, I leave you with a representative photo of Bluegrass State vixen Audrey Hollander in the water closet.

When suggesting the photo to Hollander, I said, "Your red hair! The blue wall!" and Hollander said, "The white toilet!" That is why you should vote for the Eminent Domain of Audrey Hollander in tomorrow's California election.

Labels: audrey hollander, because, technical difficulties, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, June 02, 2008 | 2 Comments Links to this post

Is she a Barbapapa?

Previously: The Whore Within Me, Without You
See also: Hustler

Labels: adrianna nicole, because, MILF, new porn daily, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, May 13, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

...otherwise it could be awkward. Luckily she's facing us, but if she just looks to the right...Oh man. I don't want to be there when that happens.

Labels: because, fotos, lisa demarco, marco banderas

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, April 17, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

There was no reason for them to be standing in that parking lot, and yet there was every reason.

I asked the first thing that came to my mind:

"When you have to oil your asses, what do you use?"

"Baby oil," Schwarz said.

"Olive oil," Nicole said. "Well, basically whatever is available."

Previously: Lorelei Lee and Adrianna Nicole - just because (same parking lot, different Gram)
See also: Adrianna Nicole, Annette Schwarz, Spiegler Girls

Labels: adrianna nicole, agency, annette schwarz, because, fotos, germans, spiegler, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, March 14, 2008 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Speaking of Aiden Starr, she stopped by Gram Ponante Towers, Apothecary, Helipad, Dead Letter Office, and Centrifuge the other year and, in the course of a normal conversation, became naked.

I was asking her about a mutual friend over coffee.

"I always, always use condoms when having sex with civilians," she said.

(For the first time, I was glad that we're at war with two countries!)

See Aiden's gallery here.

Previously: Aiden Starr and Caroline Pierce - just because; Gram's Minstrel in the Gallery Bertinelli
See also: Aiden Starr

Labels: aiden starr, because, fotos, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, March 06, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

It's because she has no place to put the remote.

Unless...

Previously: Sasha Grey's movies
See also: Elegant Angel

Labels: because, elegant angel, new porn daily, sasha grey

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, February 19, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

...not only that, but it appears the couch was saved as well. Regardless, Nika doesn't seem to mind.

Previously: Clown porn at Comic Con; Night Zero
See also: Brandon Iron, Hollie Stevens

Labels: because, brandon iron, hollie stevens, nika, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, January 22, 2008 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I don't know what story this picture is supposed to tell us about Aiden Starr and Michelle Aston. Is there labor unrest in the toy shop? Are these elfin sprites angered at our intrusion? All in all, would you say that Michelle Aston's xiphisternum has been good this year, judging from its location (I would)?

Whatever's happening, it definitely explains the unusual magnetism I've been experiencing in the pole(s).

We at Gram Ponante Towers, Reindeererie, and Barrow Downs wish you a delicious Christmas, if you're so inclined, and if you're not, we're taking tomorrow off anyway.

· Aiden & Michelle's Elvish Adventures on BlueBlood (blueblood.com)

Previously: Beating up Amber Rayne at the American Hotel
See also: BlueBlood

Labels: aiden starr, because, fotos, michelle aston, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 25, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

This is what Christmas looks like in Porn Valley, USA (God bless us, everyone).

See the full gallery here.

Previously: Stuffing? I'm Stayin'!
See also: Burning Angel

Labels: "joanna angel", because, fotos, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 25, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

My AA sponsor says that I should be more concrete about things, and I chafe at this, you know, as an artist, but I console myself with the understanding that the subject of this post isn't too on the nose (since it's on her ass).

Seriously, if Starbucks doesn't recharge my and Aiden's Starbuckscard for this picture I'll be angry; this should sell more coffee than Diana Krall.

Previously: Aiden Starr and Caroline Pierce - just because; See The Taunting - then you drink
See also: Aiden Starr

Labels: aiden starr, alcohol, because, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 24, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I needed to wash some shirts.

"I can make sure your shirts get really clean," Joanna Angel said.

"Why does everything you say sound so dirty?" I said.

"Good thing we're at a laundromat, then."

Previously: A Vase or two faces?
See also: Burning Angel

Labels: "joanna angel", because, fotos, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 18, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Somewhere north of her nipples and south of her neck, Joanna Angel noted, the swans turned to fish in the sunlight.

Previously: All the Best Cowboys Play Guitar Hero
See also: Burning Angel, M.C. Escher

Labels: "joanna angel", art, because, fotos, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 11, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Jenny Hendrix, seen here mixing a beverage, is eight days away from getting new breasts.

"They're getting a little bigger," she confirmed.

We tried to organize a protest march through the streets of the Valley, but safety has become an issue. Still, the mood on the set recently was one of melancholy, as we all remembered fun things we've been through with Jenny's original breasts.

"You'll see the new ones at AVN," she said.

Don't pine for Hendrix' breasts, Reader. Like Frosty the Snowman, they will return again some day.

Previously: Jenny Hendrix keeps in touch
See also: Jenny Hendrix

Labels: "set visits", alcohol, because, breasts, jenny hendrix, van styles

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 10, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

I took a bunch of pictures of Joanna Angel at her place in the Valley the other day. It was actually cold out, so she looked more at home.

"I go back to Brooklyn every other month or so," she said, "but I've been out here for two years."

Two years. That is shocking.

Anytime someone from the east coast refers to California it is by "out here". I do the same thing even though I am Oaxacan.

Angel allowed our camera crew to follow her around unfettered for several days, eating her food, swimming in her pool, learning her ways and her language. It was the kind of access one rarely gets unless one provides her with a bagel and coffee.

I'll put up some more photos over the next few weeks, culminating with her birthday on Christmas.

This picture reminded me of a Pete Townshend album.

Previously: Porny Monster; Joanna Angel's Invent-a-Lunch
See also: Burning Angel

Labels: "joanna angel", "set visits", because, fotos, pop, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Sunday, December 09, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Because I am gaijin I know very little about Japanese AV (adult video) models. This is unfortunate, because we all share an interest in tentacles.

Maria Ozawa was born in Japan to a French-Canadian father and Japanese mother. Because she is hapa we are both outcasts. She reminds me of Jennifer Connelly.

A Japanese friend of mine sent me this picture with the caption "This woman makes every contract girl in the valley look like a dog."

While I would never say that myself, fearing the shame that would be visited on me by my ancestors' ghosts, I do think The Hot Spot is ready for a remake.

Previously: Nautica Thorn hot girl, Asian; Nautica Thorn is neither Mika Tan nor Mya Luanna; Autumn Bliss' point of goo
See also: Maria Ozawa speaks English

Labels: asian, because, maria ozawa

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 03, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Eva Angelina is a guest on Playboy Radio (until 7 PST), but I thought I would show you the one picture in existence of a porn star holding up her breasts.

Nominated for AVN's Best Actress - Video award for her work in Upload, Angelina was quick to not point out that the self-held breasts shot might be too radical for American audiences.

"In Europe we can hold our own breasts all day long for pictures," the Orange County native did not say. "But now it is time for stateside audiences to witness the phenomenon without shame."

Next time: someone with her finger in her mouth.

Previously: Eva Angelina and Marco Banderas take a bite outta porn; Eva Angelina and Boston
See also: Playboy Radio, Eva Angelina

Labels: because, breasts, eva angelina, playboy

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, November 28, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

No one forgot Richelle, of course, but where else can you see a headline like that? Where? I am the finest crafter of headlines in this whole frigging -

Oh. The Sacramento Bee ran that one?

God Damn It.


Previously: Pussy Party via The Ass
See also: Cousin Stevie

Labels: "cousin stevie", "set visits", 818locations, because, pussy party, richelle ryan

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, November 05, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Here is my pal Sabrina Deep, who sends this Halloween photo from England. I asked how last month's gang bang went.

"It had more participants than the Norman Conquest," she said.

Deep is looking for participants in her Lesbian Strap-on gangbang, which will be staged during the AVN convention in January.

Previously: Gang bang across the water
See also: Deep Sabrina

Labels: because, fotos, sabrina deep, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I know when and where and why this picture was taken, but you should just make something up anyway.

Captions utilizing the word "cocaine" are expected, but not necessary.

Have a great weekend.

Previously: Pussy Party 21 caption contest; Sorry, but all you'll get is the sword

Labels: because, caption, contest, fotos

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, October 19, 2007 | 8 Comments Links to this post

I went to Rodney Moore's Vampires party the other night and, in a corner behind the bar, encountered Aiden Starr and Caroline Pierce. The balloon contained something like 30 or 40 souls.

"I met her in Tampa," Starr said of Pierce. "She told me she was an excellent bottom."

"That's nice," I said. But what am I supposed to do with that information? Everyone's a bottom when you're Grams.

Previously: Erotica L.A 2007 in review; Barbed Wire Kiss
See also: Rodney Moore

Labels: aiden starr, BDSM, because, caroline pierce, events, fetish

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 15, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

One comes across an image like this and is incapable of thinking, "Did David Aaron Clark have a fire sale?"

Previously: Gia Paloma's fan letter
See also: Julie Simone

Labels: "david aaron clark", asian, BDSM, because, fetish, julie simone

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, August 29, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Not since Strokahontas and Suckable has a porn name caught my attention like that of Adrenalynne. It seems like it is a new breed of porn name, half-WWE and half-old school porn naming convention, in which every name has to end with -lynn, -lee, or -sohoth*.

But I will let director/performer Tee Reel tell you the rest, because I have become incoherent. Read his press release after the gap.

"Adrenalynn Lighthouse Talents newest scarlet shoots her first B/G interracial scene for director Tee Reel’s “Get Reel” this 5’3 former ballet dance r and stunning beauty sets the screen on fire in a hot scene with Nat Turnner. Tee was happy to get her in his new action movie where she plays the sister of the lead assassin. Originally from Texas Adrenalynn says she always had a desire to get into the adult business. “I was happy to have her in the movie this girl is smart ,sexy and can act. It was great shooting her and I hope to work with her again soon."

It is not lost on me that I have never heard from Suckable or Strokahontas again. I hope that Adrenalynne's name does not overwhelm her career. I don't think it will; she seems to have spirit.

Previously: I am the world's greatest porn director; Lighthouse 1, Hansen's Disease 0; I <3 Suckable; Meet Strokahontas
See also: Lighthouse Talent
*we need more Lovecraft porn

Labels: adrenalynne, agency, because, lighthouse talent, lovecraft, noms de porn, tee reel

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, August 28, 2007 | 4 Comments Links to this post

That's right: you never would have expected to see those three words together. But they fit, goddamn you.

It was an overcast day overlooking Copacabana Beach when this photo was snapped. After some deliberation, it has been determined that the beach in the background is not itself a photograph and that Panther was really there (because I am an an ancient mariner, I studied the tides). I didn't want you to think Porn is based on Lies.

Previously: Brazilian Bar Hopping; Don't do that if it hurts you, Caylian Curtis
See also: Woodman Entertainment

Labels: because, brazil, pierre woodman, roxy panther

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, August 27, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I am not the gadabout your cards, letters, and offers of timeshares suggest. I am still prone to say "Who is that?" about someone who has been in the business for several years.

The dangerous Dana Vespoli reminds me of a post-apocalyptic Phoebe Cates in this excellent scene from Pat Myne's Ass Slaves 2, included on his recent X-Rated compilation. I have never wanted to go beyond Thunderdome so much.



Previously: X-Rated review; Today in porn swag
See also: Metro

Labels: because, dana vespoli, directors, metro, pat myne, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, August 23, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Mika Tan is currently off on a journey from which I hope she returns safe and sound. But earlier this year Otto Bauer got her up in this complicated network of flaps, strips, and boots.

As you can see, it hardly covers anything. I have a feeling that she could wear something like this the wrong way and no one would know or care.

I asked GramPonante.com's newly-minted Native American correspondent, Stands Uncomfortably To One Side While the Cool Squaws Dance, if Tan's ensemble had special significance to her people.

Read her reply after the gap.



"Heap sexy outfit," she said, a single tear trailing down her cheek.

Tan is thus arrayed for Supercore's Backroads, due any day now and also starring Audrey Hollander and Naudia Nyce.



Previously: Nurse Mika Tan - just because
See also: American Vice

Labels: because, fashion, mika tan, otto bauer, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, August 21, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post