One of the cool opportunities for gracefully aging performers in the porn industry is to start one's own company and keep your name alive by attaching it to the flesh of newcomers. This was a successful model for Jill Kelly, Danni Woodward, Jenna Jameson and, to a lesser degree, Hellraiser's Pinhead.

Following in these footsteps, beloved pornstress and NightCalls host Juli Ashton launched her Juliland.com and regularly featured a Juliland "JGrrl" of the Month. The no-nonsense Audrey Bitoni has just been named Juliland's JGrrrl of the Year.

It is unclear what Bitoni will receive in addition to this honor, but one thing's for certain: Audrey Bitoni is comin' at ya!

Previously: Audrey Bitoni: Not that kind of Cardassian;
See also: Juliland

Labels: audrey bitoni, awards, juli ashton, playboy, websites

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, July 09, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Even casual observers of adult awards will notice that the same people and projects tend to be nominated over the course of the several annual trophy presentations, from the AVNs in January to Tampa's NightMoves in October. This not only squeezes every last cent of possible revenue from the same movies, contract stars, and sponsoring studios, but it also provides an opportunity for regional adult biz personalities to get together.

Like many of the other award shows, the NightMoves event is the high point of an accompanying convention. Among the dozens of porn personalities committed to this year's NightMoves is the sturdy and capable Veronica Rayne (pictured).

But since NightMoves is the only significant east coast awards show and because it originated from an erotic dancer magazine, the 16-year-old show does have its own style and flavor and, because it is still well under the radar of consumers who only think of AVN and Las Vegas when they think of adult awards, the hijinks in Florida are allowed to be more raucous.

Plus, Florida is like Mecca for strippers. Going there is like a pilgrimage for them.

Here are the nominees for the 2008 NightMoves awards, to be presented October 13:

2008 Finalists
BEST FEMALE PERFORMER
Ashlynn Brooke
Belladonna
Bree Olson
Eva Angelina
Jenna Haze
Jesse Jane
Kaylani Lei
Penny Flame
Sasha Grey
Stormy Daniels

BEST MALE PERFORMER
Barrett Blade
Evan Stone
James Dean
Manual Ferrara
Marco Banderas
Marcus London
Randy Spears
Shane Diesel
Tommy Gunn

BEST DIRECTOR
Belladona
Bill Fisher
B. Skow
D.Cypher
Eli Cross
Jules Jordan
Robby D
Stormy Daniels

BEST NEW STARLET
Alexis Texas
Audrey Bitoni
Kayden Kross
Moxxie Maddron
Ryder Skye
Stoya
Tera Wray
Tori Black

BEST FEATURE DANCER
Carmen Hart
Gina Lynn
Jesse Jane
Lexi Lamour
Stormy Daniels
Sunny Lane
Teagan
Teri Weigel
Vivian West

BEST FEATURE PRODUCTION
Black Widow - Wicked Pictures
Cheerleaders - Digital Playground
Dark City - Adam & Eve
Fashionistas Safado: Berlin - Evil Angel
Oracle - Wicked Pictured
Twins Do Science - Vivid Entertainment
UpLoad - SexZ Pictures

BEST COMEDY / PARODY
Bree's Slumber Party - Adam & Eve
Carolina Jones & The Broken Covenant - Adam & Eve
Not Another Porn Movie - Bad Seed / Burning Angel
Not The Brady's XXX - X Play / Hustler Video
Operation Desert Stormy - Wicked Pictures
Spunk'd The Movie - 6969 Entertainment (EDITOR'S NOTE: This movie has not won a goddamn thing this year. Not to slam any other movie on this list [because who has the time?], but it is much better than any of them)
Stood Up - Vivid Entertainment

BEST SERIES
Bang Bus - Bang Brothers Productions
Big Wet Asses - Elegant Angel
Chica Boom - Kick Ass Pictures
Couples Seduce Teens - Pink Visual
Flesh Hunter - Jules Jordan
Jack's Playground - Digital Playground
Meet The Fuckers - Zero Tolerance

BEST ALL SEX / GONZO RELEASE
Big Wet Asses #13 - Elegant Angel
Bring 'Um Young #26 - Anabolic
Chemistry 3 - Vivid
Cock Pigs - Evil Angel
E For Eva - Evil Angel / Jonni Darkko
Jack's Teen America #20 - Digital Playground
Teradise Island 2 - Teravision / Vivid

BEST ALL GIRL / GIRL RELEASE
Belladonna Fucking Girls #5 - Evil Angel
Bree & Kayden - Adam & Eve
Intimate Moments #12 "Sensual Intimacies" - Abagail Productions/Abby Winters
Lesbian Daydreams "Older Women / Younger Girls" - Sweetheart Video
No Man's Land #43 - Video Team
Predator 2 - Wicked
Women Seeking Women #40 - Girlfriend Films

BEST PRODUCTION COMPANY
Adam & Eve
Digital Playground
Evil Angel
Hustler Video
Jules Jordan Video
Pink Visual Productions
Red Light District
SexZ Pictures
Vivid Entertainment
Wicked Pictures

Previously: You can think about the woman, or the peeler you knew in 2005; Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament, 2007
See also: Night Moves Awards, Bob Seger

Labels: awards, bob seger, events, nightmoves, strippers, veronica rayne

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, July 09, 2008 | 1 Comments Links to this post

The AVN Awards show gets bigger every year, and this January the event was covered by Showtime, which is getting chummier and chummier with the adult industry and which recently broadcast the event.

Here are some images from the show.

"You're one of those people I want to rescue," Dave Navarro said to Joanna Angel.

"I'm actually doing quite well for myself, thanks," said Angel.

When he's not hawking New Balance footwear, Navarro has been working with Teravision as a director and appearing at adult industry events.

People in the adult industry have varied reactions to Navarro. Some welcome his Jane's Addiction/Red Hot Chili Peppers fame but others say he is another mainstream celeb who has not "paid his dues" to the porn business.

This sentiment isn't exclusive to porn; it's just more noticeable. Success breeds contempt, especially when you're not "one of us."

A similar contingent within the business begrudges outsiders making money from their takes on porn. The writer David Foster Wallace was beset upon by calling an often vulgar industry "vulgar" and pointing out spelling errors in AVN magazine {excerpt}. "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk had some factual and logistical inaccuracies in his porn-themed book "Snuff" and porn blogger Gene Ross said this:

But in Palahniuk’s novel titled “Snuff,” fiction, it seems, is stranger and, apparently, a whole lot better than truth. Such is the basic fact - that most of what Palahniuk writes about here, bears little resemblance to what you’d come across in the real porn world.

If that’s the case, why should we quibble about minor details getting in the way of a good story, you might ask? Well, for Doubleday to cash in on a really bad, tedious book with Palahniuk’s name attached to it, for one thing. Although I've yet to come across a review that hasn't gone out of its way to kiss Palahniuk's ass which was one of my reasons, aside from the obvious, for grabbing a copy to begin with.

Or put it this way. If some Joe Blow nobody had submitted this idea, the publishing company would have been firing off rejection slips faster than premature ejaculation.

I say that overcoming heroin addiction has allowed Navarro to test in to the porn business. But Joanna Angel does not need rescuing.

Teagan Presley returned to the AVN Awards after bouts of having a family. Red carpet co-host Kirsten Price said, "You look so beautiful! I can't believe how tiny you are!" or "You look so beautiful; I can't believe how tiny you are!"

It looks as if Navarro is talking with a cardboard cutout of Tera Patrick, the way I often talk to a cardboard cutout of Chewbacca. The reality is that Patrick is ready for a pose a millionth of a second before a camera flashes.

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz stop by. Jenna is chipper and talks about the future, what with her company being nominated for 52 awards. She does not tell Navarro of the bomb she will drop onstage.

Jameson's speech, as captured by the Showtime coverage, seemed rambling. Prior to announcing Stormy Daniels as the inaugural Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year, Jameson said, "It's apropos that this award is named after me."

She also talked about being battered in the mainstream press, which had called her skinny and divorced. "But I'm not divorced," she said, and thanked boyfriend Tito Ortiz for taking care of her.

Then she said, "Everything's beautiful...I want to be honest for a second. Honesty is key. Honesty is key. I will never, ever, ever spread my legs again in this industry, ever." (In a previous report I got the number of "ever"s wrong, but I had quoted from AVN).

She moved on after this, and declared Clubjenna to be an adult industry powerhouse. It was an odd moment. Two months later, Clubjenna released a five-year-old "new" Jenna movie.

Navarro with muse Sasha Grey. I am in the background of this shot, thinking, "That Navarro has a look. I don't personally like the look - he looks a little like a bug, but it works for him - but I've got to get myself a look. Maybe I should stick forks in my eyes."

Awards host Greg Fitzsimmons takes a shot at Max Hardcore, calling him the retarded guy who captured Curious George. That seemed harsh to me, but Hardcore took it well. There is a huge Margaret and H.A. Rey fan base in the adult industry, and all know that the guy who caught Curious George was the Man in the Yellow Hat.

Tera is forbidden by law to take a bad picture.

The first AVN Awards were handed out in a room with fewer than 200 people. Hillary Scott goes to collect her Supporting Actress award before a crowd of 6,000.

Larry Flynt is the Christopher Reeve of the porn industry, except Flynt got his injury on the job. People love him.

Guess which person has two children?

My hood ornament.

See my AVN 2008 gallery here.

Previously: AVN Wrap-up 2008
See also: AVN, Showtime

Labels: avn, avn08, awards, dave navarro, events, greg fitzsimmons, jenna jameson, kirsten price, las vegas, max hardcore, sasha grey, teagan presley, tera patrick

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, June 12, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I have been at the U.N. Conference on Porn, Sex Work, Erotica, and General Waywardness in Trieste this weekend so I did not have the time to write in depth about last week's XRCO awards. Here is the most comprehensive coverage you could ever read.

The Highlands Nightclub in Hollywood has become the de facto adult industry event location in Los Angeles, hosting several events over the past year. There is inexpensive parking, a bank machine two floors down, easy access to the Guinness Book of World Records Museum across the street, and an excellent view of where I interviewed Joey and Evanka Buttafuoco.

Also, former Digital Playground contract star Adrianna Lynn, now known (again) as Adrenalynn, gave me a visual aid in remembering how to spell her new old name. Adrenalynn is not at liberty to say why her time at Digital Playground was so short and I knew without asking that her reason for leaving involved a lack of access to me.

"It must have been difficult," I said.

"You said it so I won't have to," she said.

Her pose reminded me of this picture of Mika Tan.

The XRCO Awards were one of the first reactions to AVN's yearly adult awards, and are determined by a group of critics from around the world. I am one of the voters but I don't know how they are funded; I only know that they are a very homey awards show that people are nevertheless paying more attention to.

That is not to say people really pay attention at adult awards shows, but this year I checked in about midway through the ceremony and saw that three quarters of the people who were seated at the beginning of the show were seated in the middle. This is a higher percentage than graduation rates in the L.A. Unified School District. It is also better odds than the national divorce rate after five years of marriage, as adult award shows tend to take five years.

And I'm not saying that I know who won anything, save for Upload, because I saw some Upload people on the stage, Jenna Haze, because she won one of the first awards and I was turned in that direction, and Suze Randall and Shayla Laveaux, who won Hall of Fame awards and I was making my way to the balcony. I also knew that Not the Bradys XXX got Best Porn Comedy because at one point its publicist and director, Jeff Mullen said to me, "Best Porn Comedy two years in a row, huh? Huh?"

But at no time did I hear the XRCO's genial chairman, Jared Rutter, tell the crowd to shut up, as I've often heard his ousted predecessor, Bill Margold, shriek. The rabble seemed to respect him. So that's something. And when a man can walk into an adult awards show and still see people paying attention 45 minutes into it, well, I'll say the porn business is doing just fine, considering.

It was important for me to move around because I am like a shark. I need to move or I'll die. I am also like the wind. Also: a lone wolf. By those means I saw much and little. I saw Scott Fayner and thought, Didn't he die? He was sitting with married porn graphic artists Jodie Marie and Dave Goodman. I thought: Didn't I give them the meat hammer? You know, for their wedding? Like in Braveheart?

I got a grand idea to photograph every porn star I knew with my shot glass of Jagermeister but the project began and ended with Ava Rose.

Adrianna Nicole refused. I don't know on what grounds. She needs to loosen up more. She needs to know that I won't hurt her. She's so goddamn meek.

I'd been there for three hours when a security guard noticed I didn't have a wristband.

"I just walked in," I told him. We had a conversation in which he repeated everything I'd just said, but changing the pronouns and adding italics and a question mark.

"You just walked in?" he said.

"No one stopped me," I said.

"No one stopped you?" he said.

"I can go get one now," I said, "but I've been here for three hours."

"You've been here for three hours?," etc.

At the front door I told another security guard that I needed a wristband to go back in.

"You need a wristband to go back in?" he said. I'd say the guards were related, but then all security guards look the same to me.

Outside I talked with Ashlynn Brooke, who is from Choctaw, OK.

"I love Oklahoma," she said. "I'd go back and live there if I could. But Tommy loves L.A. too much."

Tommy Gunn and Brooke are dating. I think the world must be peopled.

"Do you cook?" I asked. I don't know why I asked this.

"Oh, yes!" she said. "Chicken fried steak, southern food, fried chicken ... "

"Okra!"

"Yes."

"Do you ever fry anything with another animal, like steak fried steak, or jaguar fried donkey?"

"I could, but I use chicken."

Veronique Vega came by and I asked them to pose like they were in Gia.

Then Sophie Dee happened along, barefoot. She posed in a pile of cigarette butts. She has the most beautiful eyes. I imagine her appearing to Mexican children and the community making a statue out of her.

Before I went back in (now that I was legal), I took a picture of Manuel Ferrara, Flower Tucci, Sunny Lane, and John Stagliano. I complimented Ferrara on his diplomatic handling of Robin Leach's photographer at the AVN Awards red carpet.

"I am a very gentle man," he said.

Earlier in the evening Ferrara had walked by my XBiz colleague Joanne "Cha Cha" Cachapero and she had called out "Manual! Manual!" as if he were some kind of transmission. But maybe that is the way all men seem to Joanne, so hard is her heart.

Back inside I had another idea. My drinks gone, I would take pictures of women leaving the men's room. The first was former performer/current AVN photographer Gia Jordan.

I am embarrassed to admit that I said something that made her respond thusly:

"All Gentiles think I'm Jewish."

"I'm sorry," I said. "So you're Italian?"

"Half."

"And what's the other half?"

"Pakistani."

I bet that courtship was fascinating. She showed me her shoes as she sat on the bar. I think she said they were Mario Rossis.

"Is that good?" I asked, feeling like I knew nothing anymore.

"Yes," she said. "I got them at Goodwill."

Speaking of shoes, Aiden Starr was wearing Dana Dearmond's flip flops, and looked so small that, had she not just walked out of the men's bathroom, I would have popped her in my mouth and blew a bubble with her.

The Highlands was closing for the night. I had worn my wristband for about 15 minutes.

After some internal debate, I went to an afterparty and didn't regret it. I left this year's XRCOs secure in the belief that next year Pirates 2 will have won something.

See the gallery here.

Previously: XRCO afterparty blind items; XRCO voting: One patriot's story; XRCO night: A night to rememb; "Shut up, please"
See also: XRCO

Labels: aiden starr, Ashlynn Brooke, awards, dana dearmond, events, flower tucci, gia jordan, jeff mullen, joanne cachapero, sophie dee, sunny lane, Tommy Gunn, xrco

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, May 05, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I am not saying that the Porno-Industrial Complex does not deserve to honor itself or that pornfolk do not deserve recognition for their hard work, but I can't shake the feeling that adult awards shows, with their Lifetime Achievement honors and Man of the Year trophies, seem like kids dressing up in their parents' oversized sportcoats and ball gowns and putting on a show in the barn.

"...and watching white guys mack their pimpness to doormen isn't how I want to spend my time," added Blueblood.com editor Amelia G. (seen here with the amiable Forrest Black).

I enjoy adult awards shows. They are charming. But last night's XBiz Awards, last month's AVN Awards, the XRCO Awards and all the various Kucinich-level adult award events are all the same gig albeit in different venues with differing amounts of money behind them. The audience's tenuous attention to its host at the inevitably tardy start rapidly unravels by the 20-minute mark.

By the end, most of the audience has drifted away, the presenters are calling for attention, and the majority of attendees remaining are just in earshot in case their award category is coming up.

How often have you heard Billy Crystal tell the Oscar audience to "Shut the fuck up"? It happens all the time at adult awards shows.

That said, I always have a good time, because I'm hanging around with everyone else in back. As Porn's ambassador to the outside world, however, I imagine the wry and winking, bemused and condescending takes visiting mainstream reporters might have on such events - mostly because I hate competition in the Bemused and Condescending department but also because I have tender feelings for this business.

The XBiz Awards were held at the Hollywood Highlands, a popular nightclub adjacent to the Oscars' Kodak Theatre. XBiz Conference attendees needed only to walk across the street from the Roosevelt Hotel and climb the stairs. Inside were several bars and a large VIP area. I heard there were snacks there, but I left coldcut-free because I kept bumping into people I knew.

One was Veronique Vega, whose new haircut reminds me of a healthy Amy Winehouse that I want to debase and hook on drugs. She is part Puerto Rican and part Tahitian. I wonder if we're related?

Here is intellectual filmmaker DCypher getting into a shot of Halcyon Styn and Ashley Steel. It was the couple's six-month anniversary.

"I am a Buddhist," DCypher said.

People might argue that adult personnel are an army of rebels and free-thinkers who can't sit down and shut up due to their boundless energy and First Amendment patriotism. Those people might have been correct about this as few as ten years ago, but if they're still saying it they're dummies. Now it's nothing more than limited attention span coupled with nothing to pay attention to.

Tommy Gunn and Ashlyn Brooke attended the awards, squabbling over who looked better.

"I have full breasts," Brooke noted. "You lose."

Nina Hartley expertly handled three different gan interactions in our two-minute conversation. Each fan left with a remarkable sense of well-being.

Casey Parker pinned Holly Randall to the unyielding brick. She couldn't do it to me becausae I was holding the camera.

When last we saw Tori Black, she was crawling all over Sindee Jennings in pasties. It was a magical time for us. But I finally got to talk with her with clothes on.

"Glad you have your clothes on this time," the 5'9" Seattle native did not say. She has only been in the business for a few months, she said, but wanted to make clear that, though her scenes might be hardcore, she is still a lady.

"People forget that women are elegant," she said.

Svengali in training James Bartholet proposes something distasteful to Veronica Rayne.

It is very important the world sees more of Ava Rose. I hope she's off tomorrow.

This unintentionally arty photo of Michael Lucas and Titan Media's Keith Webb was one of several camera accidents. I explained to Lucas that his excellent Intern was the only gay movie I have seen (other than Quadrophenia)and he quickly suggested several others. He didn't seem to think I should quit while I was ahead.

I told Stoya I would put a picture of her on my website every day if I could. I think she must be some kind of witch; she doesn't take a bad picture.

"People saw my vagina on your site and started e-mailing me about flashing people in Las Vegas," she said.

"It can't be flashing if you took the picture under the table with my camera while I was away," I said. That wasn't flashing; it was a gesture of love.

Here's shrewd businesswoman Shy Love. Shy Love fans will be happy to know she is even prettier in person.

Pride of Nashua Heather Silk was set to appear in a "Pussy Party" before the shoot was rescheduled. I had never met her before but her dress sort of rides up that way, which I think is a plus. We didn't have time to talk about the Orange Julius at the Pheasant Lane Mall.

Finally, Flower Tucci let me know in no uncertain terms that she's into Satan, too.

"Let's get out of here; you're weird," she said, which in that context was a huge compliment. I doubt she remembers it, but I gave up drinking three days too soon.

As Penthouse's Marc Bell walked to the stage amid awkward clapping and the "Rocky" theme to accept his Man of the Year award, I bumped into a little white guy dressed in a pimp suit.

"Pardon me," I said.

"It's all good, brah," he said.

It was all good. (It would have been better with a drink, though.)

Previously: AVN 2008 Wrap-up: I will never spread my commentary again
See also: XBiz

Labels: ashley steel, Ashlynn Brooke, Ava Rose, awards, casey parker, commentary, events, heather silk, holly randall, michael lucas, nina hartley, stoya, Tommy Gunn, veronique vega, WGL, xbiz

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, February 08, 2008 | 5 Comments Links to this post

"I never set out to be the world's most famous pussy," Tera Patrick said.

Tera Patrick is all over Las Vegas this week. Dueling billboards on either side of Interstate 15 advertise her presence at both a Friday party at Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce and at Saturday's AVN Awards. Her Friday event competes with Jenna Jameson's.

In Van Nuys at the pink-draped Teravision offices, Evan Seinfeld is on the phone, attempting to find a Mandalay Bay employee who knows how to deal with the likes of Tera Patrick.

"Can you get me someone who knows how to treat celebrities, please?" he is saying. He wants to book extra nights at the Mandalay, because AVN has only paid for two, and she's hosting the awards. The flustered employee quotes Seinfeld a figure.

"Any Joe Shmo can walk in off the street and get that rate," he says.

Read more after the gap.



Tera Patrick is the biggest star in porn, period. She rattles off some of the 75 magazine covers she's been on in 2007, including the final issue of FHM. She has traveled to 40 cities in 15 countries in the past six months. Seinfeld pipes in that Teravision was just assessed at $20 million.

And you know what? That's not a lot of money. But in porn it's huge, especially as the company is centered around her.

Patrick supplies a reality check vis a vis porn fame: "I know Gwyneth Paltrow has seen my pussy, but I've never seen hers."

Where Patrick goes from here is uncertain, because there is no roadmap beyond where she is.

"I'm moving into semi-retirement," she said. "I don't want to think, 'Am I sucking in my stomach? Did I do my glutes today?'

"I can see myself with a silver bun on my head and an armful of dogs, just hiking the Canyon."

Patrick met Seinfeld when the latter played Aryan Nation criminal Jaz Hoyt on the HBO series "Oz".

"I saw him on TV and I made a few calls," she said. "I wasn't looking for love, if you know what I mean. But he didn't call. I thought, 'That's weird.'

"Usually I was the one being pursued," she said. "Finally he called and he said he was nervous. I was in L.A., he was in New York, and we just kept talking. We fell in love over the phone."

Before he was an actor, Seinfeld fronted the band Biohazard. It was during a Biohazard show that actor Chris Meloni of "Oz" saw Seinfeld onstage and thought he would be a good character in the prison population of the show.

"I lucked into that," Seinfeld said. "But getting into porn was a different story."

When Seinfeld and Patrick hooked up in 2002, they were both famous. And while musicians will welcome a porn star girlfriend, Seinfeld found the adult industry distrustful.

"I was carrying Tera's suitcase once and somebody snapped a picture. The caption was something like 'Evan Seinfeld: Suitcase Pimp'. I was like, 'Hey Tera! They're calling me a pimp!'"

"And I said, 'It's not what you think it means,'" Patrick said.

Seinfeld had walked into a world where a large number of women are controlled by a small number of men, and the introduction of a boyfriend into a porn star's career usually means trouble. For women in porn with new mates, the pattern usually goes downhill from limiting the number of their male partners to working exclusively with women to dropping out of the industry altogether.

And the trap porn presents is that few in the business admit it's easy and few outside of it can imagine it's difficult, creating a suspicion of "outsiders" who might discover, as Seinfeld noted, that "in the adult industry all you gotta do is show up". Then those same people think that porn should run the way any other business does, which it doesn't.

"People were worried about me, bringing the outsider in," Patrick said. "They said 'She's gonna run him over - he's gonna break her jaw.'"

But they stayed together. They were married in Vegas on January 9, 2004 during the AVN Expo.

"It was a dozen porn people at the wedding, a dozen Hell's Angels, and a couple of hookers who crashed the party," Seinfeld said.

One reason porn relationships - or any relationship - are so fraught with uncertainty is that the partners are often unequal. And being in business together is even harder.

"But both of us came into this already established," Patrick said, "And we were so appreciative of each other."

"I spent 15 years on a band tour bus," Seinfeld said. "I've been screwed and railroaded and learned business from the ground up, so with Teravision - "

" - He does so much on a daily basis - " Patrick said.

" - No one handed us the keys and gave us Dad's porn company."

And where Patrick would prefer to go home at the end of the day and watch basic cable. Seinfeld says, "I'm the disco queen of the family. I'm the 14-year-old at the Danceteria. And she likes to go into her Pink Room and nest and play with her pretty things."

When the couple go out, they need an entourage and a V.I.P. area.

"You can't just walk into a nightclub situation with Tera," Seinfeld said (almost wearily). "You have to rope the place off and make the entrance secure, otherwise she's mobbed."

The couple started Teravision in 2003 and have spun off from it Iron Cross, an imprint Seinfeld said would feature "first rate gonzo", and Patrick's fashion line, Mistress Couture. In addition, they have begun bringing other directors into the fold at Teravision, such as Dave Navarro.

And where the rest of the adult world is focusing on the annual AVN trade show and Awards, she and Seinfeld are treating it like a nutritious part of their delicious weekly schedule.

"We went to the Led Zeppelin show (in December)," Patrick said. "Jason (Bonham) called up and said, 'I'm playing foor my dad's show, do you want to come?"

Patrick's semi-retirement is only from porn. She wants mainstream celebrity without Britney Spears' notoriety.

"People like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just don't have the right people around them," she said.

"It's my goal to be omnipresent in the world," she said. "I've never denounced being a porn star. I know couples who have made babies to me, and I'm very proud of that. I know there's a Baby Tera out there somewhere."

Previously: Tera's Christmas Presence; Tera Patrick appears on Internet
See also: Tera Patrick

Labels: avn08, awards, evan seinfeld, las vegas, tera patrick

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, January 07, 2008 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Porn is not a 9 to 5 job, and in addition to the extra-curricular activities associated with being a porn star (mentoring, celebrity golf tournaments, opening wineries), there are also new opportunities for achieving immortality beyond pay-per-minute scenes on a Video on Demand site. For example, Tommy Gunn just got a mold of his penis made for distribution by the adult toy company Topco.

"It took about 90 minutes," Gunn said of the entire procedure. Gunn (seen here with Carmen Luvana) was last year's AVN Male Performer of the Year, and is up for that and other trophies at next week's AVN Awards show.

As there is little to no market for flaccid dildos, Gunn needed to be ready.

Read more after the gap.



GP: Did anyone come to help you get in a penis mold state of mind?

TG: My girlfriend Ashlynn Brooke (pictured) couldn't be there although she wanted to very much, so I had to take matters into my own hands, pardon the pun.

GP: How degrading! It's like you suddenly became a porn fan.

TG: Getting the cast done was very interesting....not what I expected...there were three people needed during the process; one to mix the cast material, one to fit the tube-style mold over me, and another one to pour the mixture. I had to be hard for the time while the mold material was setting up which was about three minutes, which is a long time without any stimulation, but I did it.

GP: Congratulations.

TG: They took three casts, each of which they concentrated on a specifc part of my unit. Then they will put all three casts together to achieve the finished piece.

GP: That is a very Catholic way of putting it.

Gunn has a deal with Topco to develop a line of Gunn-branded products, including the results of the cast, which will be released this spring.

Previously: Operation Desert Stormy party art; Stood Up: Is it good for the Jews?; Erotica L.A. 2007 in review; O: The Power of Submission
See also: Tommy Gunn, Topco Sales

Labels: Ashlynn Brooke, avn, awards, interviews, marital aids, Tommy Gunn

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, January 02, 2008 | 2 Comments Links to this post

During a brief ceremony at the Lamplighter Restaurant this morning, the vaunted National Institutes of Pornographic And Pornotextual Arts changed the name of its annual awards from the Also-Rannies to its current title, the Excellence in Adult and/or Erotic Entertainment Honors. A simple nine-foot statue was wheeled across the parking lot.

"That looks like my Uncle Oscar!" someone exclaimed. "He is nine feet tall and also made of gold! You see, he was an alchemist and suffered from gigantism."

From that simple outburst (quickly repressed by police and clergy), a tradition was born.

Read the list of "The Oscars of Porn" after the gap.



"I believe in America," Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante said at the quiet ceremony. "I believe that everyone should have his or her own adult awards show. And we are quickly reaching a point where the ratio of Americans to adult awards shows is 1:1."

Attendees wept and prayed as the awards were announced over strong cocktails and light salads. The spontaneous nature of the event kept any winner from attending, so in that way the ceremony was much like established awards shows such as the Adultcon Awards, the Temptation Awards, the FOXE awards, and the XRCOs.


Quintessence Award
Dirty Harry
"This award is presented to the person or persons who best represent the public's perception of adult entertainment. Dirty Harry often plays an incestuous scumbag who pimps out his daughter or seeks out women to beat him up. Harry truly is Dirty, and a scene in which he does not end up shrieking at someone or sobbing in his despair is uncharacteristic. God Bless You, Dirty Harry."

Self-Lubricating Arriviste
Sindee Jennings
"As R.E.M. said, 'Everybody squirts sometime', but Sindee Jennings squirts all the time. She squirts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and if she lived in London, she'd squirt for tea. She might even squirt tea. And unlike other squirters who have taught themselves how, Jennings' squirting is wild and untamed, as if ordained by God. It does not feel forced, and its consistency coats, soothes, and relieves. She is also from Texas, where my people live."

Sniffer Made Good
Dave Navarro
"Navarro circled closer and closer to porn until people started saying 'Red Hot Chili Who?' 'Jane's What?' While industry insiders might say that he has not paid his dues, remember that industry insiders rarely pay their cable bills. We look forward to a day when Navarro reaches 25,000 posts on porn chatboards like every other loser."

Best Intentional Porn Comedy
Spunk'd
"Porn should be funny, and often is. Sometimes it seems people bend over backwards to siphon all the fun out of it. But this ensemble comedy starring Nick Manning and a dozen or so others achieves the lofty purpose of making a porn movie funny on purpose."

Best Unintentional Porn Comedy
Debbie Loves Dallas
"A textbook case of reach exceeding grasp. Both the movie and its director (and we made sure to verify this beforehand) had no intention of being so abysmally, unintentionally hilarious."

Best Celebrity Sex Tape
Amy Fisher Caught on Tape
"A certified MILF who clings to her 'Long Island Lolita' roots, Amy Fisher, if I were a porn fortune cookie, would be 'Welcome at any gathering'. Without a doubt the best sex tape this year, because all the others were made to be watched by only a few people at most. This one was made for public consumption, even if half of the parties involved say it wasn't."

Concerted Effort
Jenny Hendrix
"As Pink Floyd said, 'I've got the obligatory Hendrix sperm.' Hendrix works wicked hard. She has three phones working overtime. She hasn't taken a break since July. She makes drinks for people on set. She works well with others. She's thrifty, clean, and reverent. I would definitely recommend her for employment, a home loan, or cabinet position (preferably Reverse Cowgirl Secretary)."

Male Performer Who Knows What Time It Is
Nick Manning
"For men who watch porn, watching other men is difficult, even impossible. And since no one will pony up for a greenscreen anytime this decade (despite porn being on the cutting edge of technology and all), the most we can hope for is that the male talent is entertaining. Nick Manning (close runner-up: Steven St. Croix) shows the perfect combination of acting and performing chops as well as a solid sense of where the male porn performer is in the firmament. He only steals scenes when there are no women in them. He doesn't overtalk, he shares the spotlight. And when allowed to do his thing, he displays the most sardonic character possible who still gets to 'wreck!' women onscreen. No one has a problem with Jack Nicholson playing the same character in every movie, so Manning should get an award, too."

The Kami Andrews Wish You Were Here Award
Lorelei Lee
"Who knows if she will be back, but Lorelei Lee is gone now, and we miss her."

Tony Conigliaro Award
Nicki Hunter
"This award, like its baseball counterpart, goes to the person who overcame adversity in style. Nicki Hunter was diagnosed with lymphoma one year ago and has returned to the adult business with equal parts vengeance and class. Congratulations also to the various fans and coworkers who got put personal gain aside to help out their friend."

Best Porn Set
(tie)
Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party (all)
Barely Legal 75
"Usually I only spend a few hours in rooms full of naked women. Something changes when I'm there all day, as if I remember that there is an intrinsic value in spending the day with a room full of naked women. I feel like Caligula without the parts falling off. And Cousin Stevie and Erica Mclean run a very smooth, casual operation."

Best Logline
Cuckold - Chatsworth Pictures
"Sometimes the only thing wrong with your wife is you."


Best Inevitable Title
She Is Half My Age - Brandon Iron
"Porn has always been about older men and younger women. It seems more like Sociology class to watch people the same age having sex (that's why I stayed in college so long). This movie puts a name on the giddy joy one feels when discovering that $900 and an agent's fee can buy you Faye Valentine."

Biggest Comeback (Where "biggest" is the shortest intervening time between announcemment of retirement and retraction of retirement)
(tie)
Luke Ford
Kurt Lockwood
Belladonna
"Luke Ford announced he was leaving the porn industry yet continues to show up at porn events, Kurt Lockwood announced his retirement, paternity, and a move to Spain in September and returned to work in October, and Belladonna announced her retirement from performing and three weeks later announced her retirement from her retirement. Needless to say, some comebacks are more welcome than others."

Most Satisfying Movie
Naughty Flipside
"When you get right down to it, the most effective porn format ever is the gonzo, in which setups are kept to a minimum and sex scenes get underway quickly. The scripted feature may showcase other talents of the cast and crew, but those are always exercises in diminishing returns, no matter how well-intended. Naughty Flipside Volume One presents the perfect combination of quick, fantastical setups followed by the lighthearted inevitabilities of Dana DeArmond, Sasha Grey, Adrianna Nicole, and Pinky Lee."


Ambition without Embarrassment Award
Upload
"Upload is a great movie. More than that, it is a movie that has high ideals. (Almost) nothing is worse than a movie that shows more of its creators' limitations than its creators' intentions, and this movie's intentions weren't grounded by budget, talent, or cast; every element shot for the sky. Also, there was sex in it."

National Institutes of Pornographic and Pornotextual Arts Director of the Year Award
Jim Powers
"Jim Powers is an effective porn director because he never forgets why the audience is there, so he keeps extraneous things like plot and guys' faces to a minimum. Despite this, he works so well within the limitations of the form that each movie is memorable and lightly-to-moderately sprayed with his own cultural references and cynical sense of humor. Watching a Jim Powers movie is the essence of a guilty pleasure, because you really do feel intellectually and spiritually ashamed afterwards. He's a genius."

Quote of the Year
Alex Sanders to Julie Night, Upload
"Get it wet or I'll stick it in you dry."

Previously: Gram Ponante announces Also-Rannies

Labels: "eli cross", "nicki hunter", adrianna nicole, awards, directors, eva angelina, jenny hendrix, jim powers, kurt lockwood, lorelei lee, Nick Manning, pinky lee, sasha grey, sindee jennings, steven st croix, steveporn

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, December 28, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

If one were to download the PDF version of this year's AVN nominations in 120 categories it would result in a document 58 pages long. By contrast, the 1984 awards contained only 18 categories.

The big winner that year was Scoundrels, about the consequences of adultery. Today we commit adultery over coffee.

This reflects both the nichification of consumer tastes as well as the need to satisfy as many advertisers with nominations as possible. AVN will officially maintain that advertising within the company's media network does not buy awards, but that is only partially true; advertisers expect more consideration for their products and AVN, XBiz, and all adult trade publications of the past and future would be foolish not to provide it.

Read more after the gap.



But buying awards is an inexact science, and what is successful for one potential winner might not be for another. So I have no advice other than that Superbowl tickets are a great stocking stuffer for people of any faith, and blowjobs are pleasant all year long.


But let's talk about consumer taste. By 1984, when the AVN Awards were announced on paper, "commercial" porn had been around for decades, but it was still illegal in many places and delivery systems like video were not widespread. 1984's 18 categories reflected no fetishes like Asian, MILF, POV, Latina, Interracial, Anime, or Transsexual; those have evolved from availability and saturation (of the market, not necessarily Squirting).


This year's nominations are the most comprehensive in AVN's history, and at no time in the company's 24 years has the list of nominations shrunk from one year to the next.

With the weight of a quarter-century, the nominations have no choice but to get post-modern: awards for marketing movies and performers have increased to nine, the Crossover Star award has been renamed in honor of Jenna Jameson, and companies that make "classic"-style porn or that re-release ancient porn catalogs also have their own category.

This is the second year of the Unsung Starlet and Contract Performer award, which reflect both the hardest and least used talent in the business who haven't otherwise been honored in Best Actress or Best New Starlet categories.


At the 2008 AVN Awards on January 12, most of the 120 citations will not be presented on stage; a video screen will flash the winners in between more significant awards. Last year's presentation, which was the first awards held at the Mandalay Bay Events Center and also the first awards for which regular consumers were encouraged to buy tickets, was also the slickest; still, by awards show standards, the AVN's are a train wreck.


And I like it that way. Long-time attendees will happily claim "but it's our train wreck", meaning that a shambling free-for-all filled with technical glitches, bombast, people playing dress-up, preening, and unintentional humor are a celebration of what Porn Valley is like every day.

If an outside company comes in to "handle" the awards, as might be the logical evolution of porn's mainstreaming, the January adult industry reunion will lose something, even as it gains a larger audience.

I predict the adult industry can sustain a 200-category awards show before things fall apart, but I better make some money off of it.

Previously: AVN 2007 wrap-up; AVN 2006
See also: AVN Awards

Labels: "joanna angel", ange venus, avn, awards, commentary, events, heather vandeven, mary carey, max hardcore, sophia santi

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 27, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Nominees for the 2008 AVN Awards will be announced today, sources say, with other sources confirming plans for a 45-day stretch of bitching to commence immediately thereafter.

"We usually announce the Awards just before Thanksgiving, then go on vacation so we don't have to listen to the phone calls from irate producers and performers," said an AVN staffer who wished to remain anonymous.

But AVN employees sometimes give out their home phone numbers during less vulnerable times of the year, so they are often subject to bitching during the holiday weekend.

"It's hard to defend your employer's decision to not nominate Gape Fisting Fucktards for an acting category while saying grace over a turkey," the staffer said.

So the 25th annual awards will be announced later today instead.

"I've already got several numbers on speed dial," said one producer. "I plan to start with, 'So this is what a full-page ad gets me?!' and devolve from there. I do this every year."

AVN will announce a multitude of nominees in a multitude of categories, but company president Paul Fishbein noted that "not everyone will be happy."

"You're damn right I'm not happy," said the producer, who expects his Sybian Anime Dwarf series to be nominated in "at least 20" categories, including lesbian, though there are no lesbian scenes in any of the titles.

"I pay money, I expect a lesbian nomination," he stated.

When informed that nominations would be announced later, many AVN employees wished that they would not be announced at all, the staffer said.

"People will complain irregardlessly," he said.

"I AM GOING TO DECRY THE HATERS," stated one male performer on the message board Somebody Fuck Somebody. "IN THEIR GROWING NUMBERS. I HAVE BEEN IN THIS INDUSTRY LONG ENOUGH TO AT LEAST GET A BEST LESBIAN SCENE FOR MY EFFORTS."

Publicist Bill Mullet, who was recently diagnosed with a degenerative condition requiring him to send out no fewer than 50 press releases a week, nevertheless has a plan in place in case his client's film is not nominated.

"If it doesn't get nominated, I will say it is breaking sales records," he said. "If it does get nominated, I will say it is breaking sales records. It is a win/win/win situation."

At least one director is sanguine about the possibility of not being nominated.

"My hart is too big for this buienesss," he said in a prepared statement. "I cannt expektorate to be nomminated by corpirate MSM porn LOL. Thay dont recnize Art or alternativ bodays. The peepul who push things forward are nvr apreshiated in tahyr time."

The 25th AVN Awards will be held January 12 in Las Vegas. I will be co-hosting with Tera Patrick.

Previously: Male Performer of the Year*; Extended XBiz Awards still a fraction of AVN's; Tasteful "Ambition"
See also: AVN Awards, Also-Rannies 2007

Labels: avn, awards, business, sic

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, November 26, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Despite increasing the number of trophies it will distribute in next February's 6th annual XBiz Awards to include performer honors, XBiz was dismayed to learn that its 51 categories still falls far short of the 3,217 awards AVN will have given out the previous month to most of the same people.

"We've got our own awards and conference in Los Angeles one month after AVN has its awards and conference in Las Vegas, we've got our own video magazine just like they do, we've expanded our toy coverage to compete with theirs, we revamped our website..." a visibly shaken XBiz said, "we've hired everyone they fired...Jesus Christ; What more can we do?"

Moments after announcing their expanded categories, XBiz learned that not only had AVN added 50 more prizes, including Perfect Attendance and Least Likely to Smell Like Adultcon, but also that the Chatsworth titan had purchased a zeppelin.

XBiz, on the line with Aeroflot, declined to comment on this or rumors that an independent commission will be splitting Dave Navarro in half for the purposes of the two adult trade magazines.

Nominations for the 2008 XBiz Awards will be open until December 31.

Previously: FBI busts Florida company for TMI; Industry shocker: AVN redesign doesn't look like ass; New copy of XBizWorld contains mousepad
See also: 2008 XBiz Awards, 2008 AVN Awards

Labels: avn, awards, events, trade, xbiz

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, November 01, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

The first annual Adultcon Awards will take place on Saturday at Sunset Strip's Key Club, to be followed by a party there.

Presenting at the ceremony will be Kayden Kross, Renae Cruz, Ashlynn Brooke, Nick Manning, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Tommy Gunn, Derek Hay, and Marcus London. The show is designed to last an hour.

The show begins "promptly" at 8, and organizers say that no one will be admitted until the show is over and the party has begun. Attendees must be formally or semi-formally clad. Men must wear suit jackets.

Larry Flynt and Tera Patrick will receive their awards in absentia. According to Adultcon's website, ClubJenna's Jay Grdina will accept his "Visionary" award in person. There is a $35 minimum for food and drinks.

Previously: Cleopatra of the Nile wants you to die; Case study: Porn rumors and how to handle them; Janine Loves Jenna
See also: Adultcon Awards

Labels: "tera patrick", adultcon, Ashlynn Brooke, awards, Derek Hay, Evan Stone, hustler, Jack Lawrence, jenna jameson, Kayden Kross, larry flynt, Marcus London, Nick Manning, Renae Cruz, Tommy Gunn

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, June 05, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post