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--Wednesday, October 15, 2008--

Bone death and porn

Did you know that "Gram Ponante," like "Mark Twain," is a term common to riverboat navigators? Strange but true.

That is why it was not a surprise to learn that AVN, commonly held to mean "Adult Video News," is also the initials of Avascular necrosis, a condition known as bone death.

As you know, "waiting for wood" or "losing/lost wood" is a term familiar to many in the adult industry, but it could just as easily be known as bone death.

(This has nothing to do with the rumors that AVN has been sold to Dunkin' Donuts.)

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: AVN sold to Dunkin' Donuts
See also: Coping with AVN

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--Wednesday, October 08, 2008--

Microsoft unveils "My First Porn Article" software

Redmond, WA (GP:PVO) -- Software giant Microsoft today launched the Porn Article template for its Microsoft Word application.

The template contains all the elements standard to anyone's first article about the porn industry, including the writer's general skittishness, Paul Thomas, fist-shaking at the Internet, the word "dire," blanket acceptance of a quote about how much money porn makes annually, Paul Fishbein, a reference to the AVN Awards as "the Oscars of Porn," Steve Hirsch's tan, the death of the DVD, and the cameraman's ennui.

"This is the biggest template modification since we would Auto Complete with 'troubled' any sentence with the phrase 'Britney Spears' in it," said a Microsoft spokesperson.

The template was beta-tested for several months with the help of the Symantec Corporation, which dispatched its Norton Anti-Virus team to quash an annoying and repetitive strain of the Margold Worm.

See the template in action in this article from London's Financial Times.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: My own first article about the porn industry (back then I had to use the ClarisWorks template); Monique Alexander gets a call from Santa
See also: Rude Awakening

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--Tuesday, October 07, 2008--

Belladonna and Jenna Haze to usher in Year of The Ass at 2009 AVN Awards

It seems like only a week has passed since I finally finished running stories about the 2008 AVN Awards (at which another Jenna daintily crossed her legs and said "No more"), but you can rest assured that today's announcement that Belladonna and Jenna Haze are to host the 26th AVN Awards on January 10, 2009 in Las Vegas will be the last thing I write about them.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Ashley Blue channels Belladonna; Belladonna shares view on tank, 2005; Shiny, oiled Jenna Haze DVD is the first Blu-Ray disc; I will never spread my commentary on the 2008 AEE again
See also: AVN Awards

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--Friday, October 03, 2008--

Black and grey Friday in the porn world, Gawker Media

The porn industry is contracting somewhat, and familiar faces at some companies are either leaving porn altogether or are moving to other companies to be familiar faces there. I'll mention some people in the latter category.

My pal Joanne Cachapero at XBiz will be leaving to become Membership Director of the Free Speech Coalition, an adult industry lobbying group. Farley Cahen of AVN will move to Digital Playground in a "New Media" position, leaving his current job open (and I hear there are editorial changes coming to AVN as well), Tom Hymes of XBiz, formerly of both AVN and the FSC, is now the managing editor of Sex.com.
Q. Since you are integral to the success of these companies, Grams, what do these changes mean for you?
A. Thanks for asking. There is a chance that, after the Pirates 2 review Joanne and I write for XBiz this month, our review column in XBiz Premiere will go away, because the company will then have to pay two people as freelancers rather than one. Then, if I become publisher of AVN, I would no longer be able to write for XBiz because, like Rush's "New World Man," both companies desire to keep their nature pure.
Once upon a time people said that Porn was recession-proof, and that remains true if you think of it in terms of what people used to say about sex before marriage: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

The amount of free or undercut porn on the Internet, coupled with pay-per-scene or pay-per-minute schemes, has crippled the ability of larger features to attract the audiences they once did. And audiences coming of age in a time when porn is more free than ever and accessible in bite-sized form don't appreciate the "classics."

Companies like Hustler strike when the iron is hot (such as with Gov Lov and the upcoming Lisa Ann-as-"Sarah Paylin" movie) and must resort to increasing levels of gimmickry to approximate the cash that once came so easily.

Porn personnel are "laying low" (I have heard this phrase several times): not advertising as much, throwing fewer parties, and not spending as much on productions. Visitors to the January 2009 Adult Entertainment Expo will see less extravagant booths, and fewer of them. Luckily, consumer tickets to both the Expo and the AVN Awards should somewhat compensate.

If DVD sales are down, the exception might seem to be Pirates 2, which is less a movie than an event and, as singular an event it is (more off the record sources from other companies say they've already accepted that the movie will sweep the major awards next year and hope only for its scraps), considering the average ROI on porn titles, it does not seem possible that Pirates 2 could have been financed in-house, in the same way that some of the "blockbuster" porn movies of the past few years have been financed with money not generated specifically by the company that produced them. Instead, they have been financed by the mainstream "real jobs" of their owners.

And while porn industry insiders blame company owners for long ago sacrificing "tangibles" to the Internet or sluggishly enforcing copyrights, if at all, now the outside economy is further darkening Porn's door.

Nick Denton, founder of the Gawker website empire (and who, if my Fleshbot checks weren't direct-deposited, would sign them) sent out the following memo informing his employees of staff cuts at those GawkerMedia sites that were underperforming:
I have some bad news. Here's the heart of it: we are cutting 19 of our
133 editorial positions and suspending bonus payments at the start of
next year. With the savings, we are increasing base pay and hiring 10
new people on the most commercially successful Gawker sites. But I
know that's scant consolation for the colleagues we're losing and for
those of you who have been enjoying the bonus windfalls from breakout
stories.

You can guess the reason for these brutal measures: the recession.
Sure, the company is currently profitable and advertising sales are up
by about 30% on their level of a year ago. Our biggest clients are
consumer electronics and entertainment companies that are relatively
well insulated. And, yes, this is not the first time I've predicted
doom: in July 2006, when we "battened down the hatches" and closed
down Sploid and Screenhead; and in April this year, when we spun off
Idolator, Gridskipper and Wonkette.

But now the credit crisis is clearly going to affect every sector of
the economy. Advertising buys typically plunge after the Christmas
shopping season, and 2009 is obviously going to be exceptionally
difficult. We have to prepare for the worst, now, rather than when the
worst comes upon us.

We never used to talk about the business side of the operation.
Traffic was the only concern; my belief was that juicy news would draw
the readers and the advertising would take care of itself. We were
patient; even if it took four years for a site to develop the audience
that finally registered with advertisers, we had the time. No longer.

Sites such as Consumerist, whose success has been measured more in
traffic and recognition than in revenue, now need to cover their
costs. I can't underline enough that this harsh commercial judgment is
no reflection whatsoever on the editorial teams that are being cut.

Each of these sites performs a vital function. Consumerist provides an
outlet for disgruntled consumers that exists nowhere else on the web;
Valleywag has given puffed-up Silicon Valley the prick it's long
needed; and Fleshbot manages to be classy and filthy at the same time.
The site leads and writers on all of our sites have done exactly what
we asked them to: work harder than the competition and grow the
audience. It's my commercial judgment that's been at fault.

One reason we're eliminating these positions is to reinforce the teams
on the sites with the most commercial appeal—Gizmodo, Kotaku,
Lifehacker and Gawker—and the properties such as Jezebel, io9,
Deadspin and Jalopnik which are poised to join them.

One new recruit we're confirming today is Gabriel Snyder from W
Magazine in Los Angeles who, as managing editor of Gawker.com, will
continue the site's evolution into a national news and entertainment
site. We are also hiring new contributors at Jezebel, Deadspin, Kotaku
and io9.

Even in the growing editorial teams we need to control costs. And that
means a new look at traffic bonuses. We've been spending $50,000 a
month on average on pageview bonuses. The scheme has made writers
hustle for traffic even in teams so large that there was a risk they
become lumbering. It's helped us hit a record 274m pageviews last
month, up 69% on last September.

Pageview bonuses will continue this quarter. And we are committed to
pageview incentives, and to measuring performance by a writer's
individual pageviews, in the long term. But a first quarter spike in
traffic -- and the resulting bonus payments -- could be dangerous if
advertising markets are troubled next year. And we're assuming that
the economy is so volatile that most of you would like a little bit
more predictability about your own income.

That's why we're suspending the pageview bonus for the first quarter
at least, but making up for some of the loss of income by raising pay.
If you haven't recently agreed to a new rate, your monthly base amount
will automatically be increased by 5% in January.

The news about the job and bonus cuts will be demoralizing. The golden
age of the blog is over, people will say. Gawker Media is behaving
like those big media companies that we mock so easily. I could come up
with some bullshit line about how much worse it would have been to
wait until we were forced to control costs; or how much more
unpleasant life will be at the many internet ventures and newspapers
that won't make it through the downturn. I could give you my
optimistic spin about the glorious future that awaits us on the far
side of this downturn.

But there is no escaping the fact that we're losing some excellent
colleagues and the environment next year will be bleak. The one
consolation is that there will be plenty of news for us to break —
starting with this email, which you are free to leak.
Luckily, I am still Senior Erotic Consultant at Fleshbot; my job was not cut. But things are tough all over, and you can expect it to get worse before it gets better.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: When Black Friday comes to AVN

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--Monday, September 15, 2008--

David Foster Wallace, 1962-2008

David Foster Wallace, a brilliant writer and thoughtful educator who was found hanged on Friday in an apparent suicide, devoted his essay "Big Red Son" to the 1997 AVN Expo.
Ms Jasmin St Claire allows butane gas to be pumped via PVC into her colon and set afire on expulsion, resulting in a 3.5-foot anal blowtorch for Cream Productions' 1998 Blow it Out Your Ass.'

While the heavily-footnoted article was not received well by the adult industry (Wallace poked fun at everything from AVN's awards-voting system - back when there were only 108 categories - frequent misspellings of words like "irresistible," and said the magazine's articles were more like "infomercials"), it did provide a comprehensive if intellectually condescending first-time view of an event that to the newcomer is often overwhelming and hard to process.

AVN's response to the original article ("Neither Adult Nor Entertainment" was first printed in the magazine Premiere in 1998) can be found here. It quotes publisher Paul Fishbein and senior editor Mark Kernes as well as former associate editor Rebecca Gray. While the responses often prove Wallace's point, they do mount a serious counterattack on both Wallace's journalism in particular and mainstream impressions of an industry that feels unjustly burdened to prove that it should be taken seriously.

Wallace spent the last several years as a professor at California's Pomona College and is remembered by his colleagues and students as rigorous, caring, and unaffected by the raves he received for works like his thousand-page "Infinite Jest" and his first book, "Broom of the System."

Wallace also authored several collections of essays ("Big Red Son" is from "Consider the Lobster") and released a book of short stories called "Girl with Curious Hair" which, though less ambitious than his other works, is both smart and accessible, revealing without hyperbole what a great writer he was.

Wallace was 46.





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Previously: AVN 2008: Reliving the dream
See also: David Foster Wallace,

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--Thursday, June 12, 2008--

AVN Awards 2008: Reliving the dream

The AVN Awards show gets bigger every year, and this January the event was covered by Showtime, which is getting chummier and chummier with the adult industry and which recently broadcast the event.

Here are some images from the show.

"You're one of those people I want to rescue," Dave Navarro said to Joanna Angel.

"I'm actually doing quite well for myself, thanks," said Angel.

When he's not hawking New Balance footwear, Navarro has been working with Teravision as a director and appearing at adult industry events.

People in the adult industry have varied reactions to Navarro. Some welcome his Jane's Addiction/Red Hot Chili Peppers fame but others say he is another mainstream celeb who has not "paid his dues" to the porn business.

This sentiment isn't exclusive to porn; it's just more noticeable. Success breeds contempt, especially when you're not "one of us."

A similar contingent within the business begrudges outsiders making money from their takes on porn. The writer David Foster Wallace was beset upon by calling an often vulgar industry "vulgar" and pointing out spelling errors in AVN magazine {excerpt}. "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk had some factual and logistical inaccuracies in his porn-themed book "Snuff" and porn blogger Gene Ross said this:
But in Palahniuk’s novel titled “Snuff,” fiction, it seems, is stranger and, apparently, a whole lot better than truth. Such is the basic fact - that most of what Palahniuk writes about here, bears little resemblance to what you’d come across in the real porn world.

If that’s the case, why should we quibble about minor details getting in the way of a good story, you might ask? Well, for Doubleday to cash in on a really bad, tedious book with Palahniuk’s name attached to it, for one thing. Although I've yet to come across a review that hasn't gone out of its way to kiss Palahniuk's ass which was one of my reasons, aside from the obvious, for grabbing a copy to begin with.

Or put it this way. If some Joe Blow nobody had submitted this idea, the publishing company would have been firing off rejection slips faster than premature ejaculation.
I say that overcoming heroin addiction has allowed Navarro to test in to the porn business. But Joanna Angel does not need rescuing.

Teagan Presley returned to the AVN Awards after bouts of having a family. Red carpet co-host Kirsten Price said, "You look so beautiful! I can't believe how tiny you are!" or "You look so beautiful; I can't believe how tiny you are!"

It looks as if Navarro is talking with a cardboard cutout of Tera Patrick, the way I often talk to a cardboard cutout of Chewbacca. The reality is that Patrick is ready for a pose a millionth of a second before a camera flashes.

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz stop by. Jenna is chipper and talks about the future, what with her company being nominated for 52 awards. She does not tell Navarro of the bomb she will drop onstage.

Jameson's speech, as captured by the Showtime coverage, seemed rambling. Prior to announcing Stormy Daniels as the inaugural Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year, Jameson said, "It's apropos that this award is named after me."

She also talked about being battered in the mainstream press, which had called her skinny and divorced. "But I'm not divorced," she said, and thanked boyfriend Tito Ortiz for taking care of her.

Then she said, "Everything's beautiful...I want to be honest for a second. Honesty is key. Honesty is key. I will never, ever, ever spread my legs again in this industry, ever." (In a previous report I got the number of "ever"s wrong, but I had quoted from AVN).

She moved on after this, and declared Clubjenna to be an adult industry powerhouse. It was an odd moment. Two months later, Clubjenna released a five-year-old "new" Jenna movie.

Navarro with muse Sasha Grey. I am in the background of this shot, thinking, "That Navarro has a look. I don't personally like the look - he looks a little like a bug, but it works for him - but I've got to get myself a look. Maybe I should stick forks in my eyes."

Awards host Greg Fitzsimmons takes a shot at Max Hardcore, calling him the retarded guy who captured Curious George. That seemed harsh to me, but Hardcore took it well. There is a huge Margaret and H.A. Rey fan base in the adult industry, and all know that the guy who caught Curious George was the Man in the Yellow Hat.

Tera is forbidden by law to take a bad picture.

The first AVN Awards were handed out in a room with fewer than 200 people. Hillary Scott goes to collect her Supporting Actress award before a crowd of 6,000.

Larry Flynt is the Christopher Reeve of the porn industry, except Flynt got his injury on the job. People love him.

Guess which person has two children?

My hood ornament.

See my AVN 2008 gallery here.

Previously: AVN Wrap-up 2008
See also: AVN, Showtime

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--Friday, April 11, 2008--

When Black Friday comes to AVN

AVN laid off 16 employees today, including senior editor Mike Albo, long a fixture on the adult reportage scene, having previously edited Hustler's Erotic Video Guide.

Also let go were AVN's receptionist and employees throughout the company, from Art to the warehouse.

News travels fast. An AVN employee asked how I knew, and I remembered how I'd read about my own firing five years ago on Mike South's blog.

That's 16 employees set adrift through Porn Valley. I recall no severance package when I was let go (that might have changed or maybe it was because I'm an asshole; word is that there was no severance package and that I am an asshole), and I only survived due to my substantial trust fund, so if there are adult companies seeking to absorb former AVN employees, now is the time.

UPDATE

Hire them, or the alternative is clear: 16 new porn bloggers who used to work for AVN.

While neither mentioning it had sent 16 employees packing nor announcing what the company would actually do to remain competitive, AVN nevertheless posted an unprecedented "restructuring" story on its website that, according to one former employee, lacked only the use of phrases like "paradigm," "thinking out of the box," and "moving forward" to be interchangeable with "any other instance of corporate bullshitspeak in America."

That said, AVN was bloated and it needed to cut somewhere. No one who watches this sort of thing is ever satisfied with the choices made or how they were executed, but it is important to point out that AVN finally has a better website and, though its magazine is shrinking, it still has more of a presence as it "streamlines" than does its main competitor expanding.

But looking at the higher-profile departures from AVN of the past few years, each was kept long after the individual had severely damaged the company's reputation via the three bugaboos of the adult entertainment industry: cocainery, chicanery, and incompetence, whereas the poor slobs let go today on the whole did not know what was coming and did not get a parachute like their higher-profile former superiors did.

Previously: AVN sold to Dunkin Donuts
See also: AVN

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--Sunday, February 10, 2008--

Stoya avoids labels

I took a few hundred pictures at the AVN convention, and also handed my camera around to various lowlifes. I have finally labeled most of the pictures in my gallery, but still need some help. Let me know if you can add names to the faces (and other parts).

(Thanks already to Devanter and Black and Blue Media for some embarrassing but necessary corrections.)

See the gallery here.

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--Wednesday, February 06, 2008--

In every Cum Fart Tsunami, a tacit confirmation

Anal scene accounting was a charge long-levied against former AVN editor Mike Ramone. Now, cooling tempers have set the stage for a tender rapprochement, with cum farts playing the part of doves.

There was a time when disgruntled AVN employees would leak information from their Chatsworth stronghold to the likes of Lurk Ford or Rock'n'Roll Gene "Pool" Ross, both of whom would gaily print anything negative or speculative about the company.

I arrived at AVN in the waning days of this distribution system and would occasionally read things about myself on blogs that could only have come from my co-workers.

To a lesser degree, Mike South would also print insider info about AVN. It was South who broke the news that I got fired, in fact, a a tidbit hastily e-mailed by someone in a nearby cubicle the moment I returned to clean out my desk.

Back then there were fewer porn industry news sites, but now the web is lousy with them. (And none is more lousy than mine.) Perhaps because of the competition, by all accounts AVN is a much happier place and more cohesive, with frequent company-sponsored feasts from In-n-Out Burger.

But when Mike Ramone edited the magazine, a put-down of sorts favored by one staffer was that all Ramone did was count anal scenes in movies. Ramone countered that his job was not limited to this. Now that Ramone has exited AVN and become a director, the press release for his Cum Fart Tsunami confirms that indeed Ramone kept a rectal tally.
“Throw in super hardcore ass fucking, d.p.s [sic], triple penetrations, and in Audrey (Hollander)’s case, so many penetrations at the same time that I lost count (emphasis added), leading up to the massive felchings, and wrap it all up in a hardcore BDSM package, with real fetishy sex, clothes and sets (including a seedy, graffiti and glory hole-ridden bathroom stall and a sleazy old school dirty book store), and Cum Fart Tsunami should be a cum farting fan’s ultimate wet dream," raved Ramone. "Raincoats will not be optional.”
I don't know what the significance of this is, other than it proves a softening of ancient rivalries like so much stool.

Previously: 2007 AVN wrap-up; Adult industry spared; Bildungsroman; Cum on Her Chops
See also: Robert Hill Releasing

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--Thursday, January 24, 2008--

Fresh off the Articulated Bus

With my jaw-dropping successes, more and more I find my signature and scintillating style copied and watered down by imitators (mostly in Hungarian factories). That is why I am sensitive to matters of intellectual piracy and have endeavored to distance myself from AVN's long-running "Fresh off the Bus" feature, reasoning that since Porn Valley's Orange Line is a series of articulated vehicles travelling on dedicated busways much more suited to conveying new porn talent to agencies like that owned by Lori Lust, a new title would be more appropriate.

Lori Lust is a performer originally from Michigan whose husband, Craig, writes great press releases about the model agency they own together.
Twenty female models were just added today at www.lorilustagency.com . Craig Stevens stated “there will be another ten more girls added next week, we’re growing like a weed”. But what is amazing is almost every model is new and has never shot before, and many are under 22 years of age.
Amaya Davis, above, "Can easily do the little school girl look," says Craig. Maybe my own experience with Michigan schools is limited to Freaks And Geeks and The Big Chill, but this woman doesn't scream "schoolgirl" to me. Then again, why would I want to get into situations where someone was screaming "schoolgirl" at me?

Cece Sinclaire is my favorite because she seems a little radiated. "She does Anal AND DP!" yells Craig. In general, I find that once someone goes Anal, double penetration is the toaster that comes free with the bank account. But that might just be people I know.

Here's Michelle Mars, 28. "Great body; not one scar or tattoo," says Craig, adding: "Nice boobs."

"Thank you," I said.

Previously: Lust conquers media, Inbox
See also: My AVN "Fresh off the Bus" with Nautica Binx, 2003, Lori Lust

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--Wednesday, January 02, 2008--

Tommy Gunn casts the first bone

Porn is not a 9 to 5 job, and in addition to the extra-curricular activities associated with being a porn star (mentoring, celebrity golf tournaments, opening wineries), there are also new opportunities for achieving immortality beyond pay-per-minute scenes on a Video on Demand site. For example, Tommy Gunn just got a mold of his penis made for distribution by the adult toy company Topco.

"It took about 90 minutes," Gunn said of the entire procedure. Gunn (seen here with Carmen Luvana) was last year's AVN Male Performer of the Year, and is up for that and other trophies at next week's AVN Awards show.

As there is little to no market for flaccid dildos, Gunn needed to be ready.

Read more after the gap.



GP: Did anyone come to help you get in a penis mold state of mind?

TG: My girlfriend Ashlynn Brooke (pictured) couldn't be there although she wanted to very much, so I had to take matters into my own hands, pardon the pun.

GP: How degrading! It's like you suddenly became a porn fan.

TG: Getting the cast done was very interesting....not what I expected...there were three people needed during the process; one to mix the cast material, one to fit the tube-style mold over me, and another one to pour the mixture. I had to be hard for the time while the mold material was setting up which was about three minutes, which is a long time without any stimulation, but I did it.

GP: Congratulations.

TG: They took three casts, each of which they concentrated on a specifc part of my unit. Then they will put all three casts together to achieve the finished piece.

GP: That is a very Catholic way of putting it.

Gunn has a deal with Topco to develop a line of Gunn-branded products, including the results of the cast, which will be released this spring.

Previously: Operation Desert Stormy party art; Stood Up: Is it good for the Jews?; Erotica L.A. 2007 in review; O: The Power of Submission
See also: Tommy Gunn, Topco Sales

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--Tuesday, November 27, 2007--

Interpreting the AVN Nominations - A Primer

If one were to download the PDF version of this year's AVN nominations in 120 categories it would result in a document 58 pages long. By contrast, the 1984 awards contained only 18 categories.

The big winner that year was Scoundrels, about the consequences of adultery. Today we commit adultery over coffee.

This reflects both the nichification of consumer tastes as well as the need to satisfy as many advertisers with nominations as possible. AVN will officially maintain that advertising within the company's media network does not buy awards, but that is only partially true; advertisers expect more consideration for their products and AVN, XBiz, and all adult trade publications of the past and future would be foolish not to provide it.

Read more after the gap.



But buying awards is an inexact science, and what is successful for one potential winner might not be for another. So I have no advice other than that Superbowl tickets are a great stocking stuffer for people of any faith, and blowjobs are pleasant all year long.


But let's talk about consumer taste. By 1984, when the AVN Awards were announced on paper, "commercial" porn had been around for decades, but it was still illegal in many places and delivery systems like video were not widespread. 1984's 18 categories reflected no fetishes like Asian, MILF, POV, Latina, Interracial, Anime, or Transsexual; those have evolved from availability and saturation (of the market, not necessarily Squirting).


This year's nominations are the most comprehensive in AVN's history, and at no time in the company's 24 years has the list of nominations shrunk from one year to the next.

With the weight of a quarter-century, the nominations have no choice but to get post-modern: awards for marketing movies and performers have increased to nine, the Crossover Star award has been renamed in honor of Jenna Jameson, and companies that make "classic"-style porn or that re-release ancient porn catalogs also have their own category.

This is the second year of the Unsung Starlet and Contract Performer award, which reflect both the hardest and least used talent in the business who haven't
otherwise been honored in Best Actress or Best New Starlet categories.


At the 2008 AVN Awards on January 12, most of the 120 citations will not be presented on stage; a video screen will flash the winners in between more significant awards. Last year's presentation, which was the first awards held at the Mandalay Bay Events Center and also the first awards for which regular consumers were encouraged to buy tickets, was also the slickest; still, by awards show standards, the AVN's are a train wreck.


And I like it that way. Long-time attendees will happily claim "but it's our train wreck", meaning that a shambling free-for-all filled with technical glitches, bombast, people playing dress-up, preening, and unintentional humor are a celebration of what Porn Valley is like every day.

If an outside company comes in to "handle" the awards, as might be the logical evolution of porn's mainstreaming, the January adult industry reunion will lose something, even as it gains a larger audience.

I predict the adult industry can sustain a 200-category awards show before things fall apart, but I better make some money off of it.

Previously: AVN 2007 wrap-up; AVN 2006
See also: AVN Awards

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--Monday, November 26, 2007--

AVN to announce nominees today, grousing set to begin thereafter

Nominees for the 2008 AVN Awards will be announced today, sources say, with other sources confirming plans for a 45-day stretch of bitching to commence immediately thereafter.

"We usually announce the Awards just before Thanksgiving, then go on vacation so we don't have to listen to the phone calls from irate producers and performers," said an AVN staffer who wished to remain anonymous.

But AVN employees sometimes give out their home phone numbers during less vulnerable times of the year, so they are often subject to bitching during the holiday weekend.

"It's hard to defend your employer's decision to not nominate Gape Fisting Fucktards for an acting category while saying grace over a turkey," the staffer said.

So the 25th annual awards will be announced later today instead.

"I've already got several numbers on speed dial," said one producer. "I plan to start with, 'So this is what a full-page ad gets me?!' and devolve from there. I do this every year."

AVN will announce a multitude of nominees in a multitude of categories, but company president Paul Fishbein noted that "not everyone will be happy."

"You're damn right I'm not happy," said the producer, who expects his Sybian Anime Dwarf series to be nominated in "at least 20" categories, including lesbian, though there are no lesbian scenes in any of the titles.

"I pay money, I expect a lesbian nomination," he stated.

When informed that nominations would be announced later, many AVN employees wished that they would not be announced at all, the staffer said.

"People will complain irregardlessly," he said.

"I AM GOING TO DECRY THE HATERS," stated one male performer on the message board Somebody Fuck Somebody. "IN THEIR GROWING NUMBERS. I HAVE BEEN IN THIS INDUSTRY LONG ENOUGH TO AT LEAST GET A BEST LESBIAN SCENE FOR MY EFFORTS."

Publicist Bill Mullet, who was recently diagnosed with a degenerative condition requiring him to send out no fewer than 50 press releases a week, nevertheless has a plan in place in case his client's film is not nominated.

"If it doesn't get nominated, I will say it is breaking sales records," he said. "If it does get nominated, I will say it is breaking sales records. It is a win/win/win situation."

At least one director is sanguine about the possibility of not being nominated.

"My hart is too big for this buienesss," he said in a prepared statement. "I cannt expektorate to be nomminated by corpirate MSM porn LOL. Thay dont recnize Art or alternativ bodays. The peepul who push things forward are nvr apreshiated in tahyr time."

The 25th AVN Awards will be held January 12 in Las Vegas. I will be co-hosting with Tera Patrick.

Previously: Male Performer of the Year*; Extended XBiz Awards still a fraction of AVN's; Tasteful "Ambition"
See also: AVN Awards, Also-Rannies 2007

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--Thursday, November 01, 2007--

Expanded XBiz Awards categories still a fraction of AVN's

Despite increasing the number of trophies it will distribute in next February's 6th annual XBiz Awards to include performer honors, XBiz was dismayed to learn that its 51 categories still falls far short of the 3,217 awards AVN will have given out the previous month to most of the same people.

"We've got our own awards and conference in Los Angeles one month after AVN has its awards and conference in Las Vegas, we've got our own video magazine just like they do, we've expanded our toy coverage to compete with theirs, we revamped our website..." a visibly shaken XBiz said, "we've hired everyone they fired...Jesus Christ; What more can we do?"

Moments after announcing their expanded categories, XBiz learned that not only had AVN added 50 more prizes, including Perfect Attendance and Least Likely to Smell Like Adultcon, but also that the Chatsworth titan had purchased a zeppelin.

XBiz, on the line with Aeroflot, declined to comment on this or rumors that an independent commission will be splitting Dave Navarro in half for the purposes of the two adult trade magazines.

Nominations for the 2008 XBiz Awards will be open until December 31.

Previously: FBI busts Florida company for TMI; Industry shocker: AVN redesign doesn't look like ass; New copy of XBizWorld contains mousepad
See also: 2008 XBiz Awards, 2008 AVN Awards

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--Monday, October 08, 2007--

Tasteful "Ambition"

Photographer Michael Grecco's "Naked Ambition: an R-rated look at an X-rated industry", is a coffeetable book that many would feel comfortable keeping on their coffee tables; there's not a lot of nudity.

And the high-color photographs, snapped backstage at the past two AVN conventions and awards shows, often appear theatrical or like circus art, presenting the subjects in their porn finery as garish and safe, the way certain accountants dress like 70's pimps at Halloween.

Read more after the gap.



For people who don't know porn stars, who wonder about their habits and gathering places (but who don't want to know an uncomfortable amount about those things), this is the book to own.

The title is misleading in that not too many people are naked, and "ambitious" is not the most apt adjective for a lot of folks in the book, but the "R-rated look at an X-rated industry" is spot on: there are no graphic tales of gaping or semen sharing, gangbangs gone bad, drug or sexual abuse, or suicide, but plenty of the paragraphs that accompany the photos of porn stars are chirpy pieces of personal philosophy.

"Naked Ambition" is a Porn Stars Are People Too book.


Grecco told his subjects to come as they were. "They came right off the floor (that way)," he said, his team having set up areas backstage at the awards and off the show floor during the convention.

So while Grecco did the lighting and framing and provided the backdrops, the porn stars look as they wanted you to see them and, when photographer and subject work in concert, the effect is a porn star who says something.

Thus, Penny Flame walks offstage with a torn award envelope, having flubbed a line during her presentation. Carmen Hart catches an air-grape, Kirsten Price laughs out loud, and Dana DeArmond gets shut out. We get the feeling we know something.

But many of the photos don't say too much. The reader is left with the same sexy/innocuous poses (except clothed this time) as on porn boxcovers. In these cases the performers seem interchangeable. This is, of course, the difference between stars and everyone else.

As a document, "Naked Ambition" is valuable; two years can see a lot of changes, especially in a business with such a high turnover. Thus there's Missy Monroe before her pregnancy, Tina Tyler in a brief punk period, and Jenna Jameson at the beginning of her current incarnation.

Grecco devotes an appropriate amount of space to fringe elements of the porn industry (like clowns, midgets, Michelle Aston, and the aged), but to his credit, everyone gets the same treatment. His coverage of the gay side has fewer notes in it, like fashion photography that is less porny than the rest of the book, but again, Grecco says he treated the subjects like a beat reporter.

My favorite photos are ones that appear to be in the middle ground between staged and casual. Among these are portraits of Lexington Steele, Cousin Stevie, Charlotte Stokely, and Yasmin Taylor.

"The idea of the book is that it is a journalistic document using the portrait photography and still photography," Grecco said. And to a degree, letting the subjects do the work lets the photographer off the hook, but he's still the guy framing the shot.

So if you come away from "Naked Ambition" with the feeling that there are only a few people in the porn business worthy of being called "stars", you know they feel that way, too.

Previously: Mary Carey hosts a happening, Art on his sleeve
See also: Michael Grecco, Naked Ambition

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--Monday, August 20, 2007--

AVNAds breaks up with AdBrite

AVNAds, the completely transparent and bug-free ad-serving program that was the shadowy adult side of AdBrite, has broken from its mainstream partner, which is now seeking adult signups via its Black Label Ads program. Both AVN and AVNads were down over the weekend, but both seem to be functioning properly now. No news as to why Mom and Dad parted ways, but I've got dozens of dollars in allowance at stake here, so I hope things get patched up soon.



Philip Kaplan's AdBrite loses porn-ad network
(by Valleywag's Owen Thomas)

When you talk about "the Valley" in tech, it's taken for granted that you mean Silicon Valley. But in the world of porn, "the Valley" is the San Fernando Valley, where the adult-film industry has established itself. Now, as porn goes online, there's a long, drawn-out war for dominance fought by the two valleys. And a tremendous battle has just been lost -- by AdBrite, the online-advertising network based in San Francisco. AdBrite, Valleywag has learned, has lost the partner that gave it an entrée into the business of selling porn ads.

AdBrite is not keen to let people know it's in the admittedly lucrative business of selling ads for pornographic websites. But for some time, AdBrite has had a partnership with AVN, a powerful trade publication covering the porn industry, to sell ads for AVN's websites and many others, through a site called AVNAds.com. Philip Kaplan characterized the AVNAds relationship as a "technology-licensing agreement," though it's clearly more than that; until this morning, AVNAds listed AdBrite's fax number on its contact information, and ads were served on the adbrite.com domain.

This morning, however, AVN has broken off the relationship and redirected the AVNAds.com domain to a new, hastily built, barely functional website. The ads on the host of porn sites contracting with AVNAds, however, continue to be displayed from AdBrite's servers. From what I've heard, there's a legal tug of war over the relationship. And last month's meltdown at 365 Main, the datacenter hosting AdBrite's servers, doesn't seem to have helped matters. The press release announcing the new AVNAds website stresses that the new venture will serve ads from multiple datacenters. AVN's new online-ad network promises to be up and running by September 30.

BlackLabel AdsIn the meantime, though, it seems that Kaplan has a Plan B to keep AdBrite in the porn business under the name "BlackLabel Ads." Until Friday, when I called an AdBrite executive for comment, BlackLabelAds.com displayed a site identical to AVNAds.com except in name. The list of sites on BlackLabelAds.com, and the structure of the site, was identical to AVNAds.com; it even shared the same fax number as AdBrite and AVNAds.com. Today, though the site remains mostly hidden, the logo remains on AdBrite's servers. (The BlackLabel site currently redirects to AVNAds.com, but I believe that's simply because AdBrite execs were hoping to hide the existence of BlackLabelAds.com and were caught offguard by today's move by AVN.)

So here's how the battlefront stands: AdBrite has the actual ads served today on the AVN network; AVN has the AVNAds.com domain itself. The question will be -- assuming AdBrite's not going to just give up on the adult-ads business altogether -- is whether AdBrite can tell customers about BlackLabelAds faster than AVN can sign them up on the new AVNAds website. Like everything to do with the adult-entertainment business, this battle promises to be messy, dirty, and thoroughly entertaining. And it's all just one more back-and-forth tussle in the war between the two valleys of porn.

Previously: AdBrite, AVNAds
See also: Philip Kaplan's AdBrite loses porn-ad network (valleywag.com)

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--Monday, August 13, 2007--

Industry shocker: AVN redesign doesn't look like ass

AVN has relaunched its website and the result is impressive.

Graphically, the site is less busy than it was before, and videos do not play automatically, which was a problem with the old design. A headline refreshes every few seconds accompanied by a larger, tabloid-style picture.

Without appearing like a gossip blog or a news aggregator, AVN balances what actual news there is in the adult business with arresting images. Read more after the gap.

"Let's face it," said Loup Perch-Tounge of Porn watchdog the Chatsworth Creampie Collective, "You can't make 'Boy Butter Posts Video to Youtube' look like news, so why pretend? The new site is eye-catching."

After years of delays, AVN has stepped up its design and looks competitive again.

The surprise redesign, coming a month after the relaunch of XBiz and 90 days after the groundbreaking and paradigm-shattering reimagining of GramPonante.com, has adult industry pundits pleasantly surprised.

"I had such low expectations that this is really a treat," said Turgid Video's Mango Ratpen who, like most members of the adult industry, reads AVN for mentions of his name. "It reminds me of the positive feeling I had when I watched 'Transformers' to get out of the rain and ended up enjoying it."

The redesign features a nostalgic Web 1.5 podcast by Paul Fishbein and even an Adultcon ad, heralding the industry giant's willingness to acknowledge its competition gracefully.

Previously: Gram Ponaante launches iLick; Erotica L.A. cancelled; XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, sperm
See also: AVN

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--Thursday, August 09, 2007--

Back(draft) to Flashpoint

Nothing pornographic, just Jenna Jameson, circa 1998.

I suppose the only reason Wicked had to release a tenth anniversary edition of Flashpoint a year early was that it just couldn't wait. I forget if there is an AVN award for Best Packaging, but if there is, this four-disc set should get it.

The prestige porn of its time is as good or better than any similarly-scaled contemporary movie. And don't forget that Flashpoint boasts the talents of Jameson, Jill Kelly, and Asia Carrera at their full juiciness. There are other surprises, too.

Read more after the gap.