| --Friday, June 20, 2008--
Flower Tucci: After the outing
 Flower Tucci reclines in a pool of her own and others' natural spendings in a scene from The Violation of Flower Tucci. She has appeared on a television show complaining of her daughter's lesbianism when the female audience attacks her and makes Flower a lesbian.
What? You're saying that, because she had no choice in the matter, that she's not a lesbian? Open your eyes, pal, she's a total lesbian. That's like saying that, because the mound of dough had no choice about my putting it in the oven, it's not a delicious biscuit.
 Now Flower is a lesbian and she is going to have to live her life accordingly. I believe her first act as a lesbian will be to stop having sex with so many men.
These are the only known pictures of Flower Tucci in which she is not showing her ass.
Previously: XRCO from the outside in; Flower Tucci's ass directives
See also: JM Productions, Flower TucciLabels: audrey hollander, flower tucci, JM, new porn daily
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, June 02, 2008--
Site emerges from toilet, patriotically
 Whatever else you might think of GramPonante.com, apparently it is no longer down (though problems remain). Absent any actual news, I leave you with a representative photo of Bluegrass State vixen Audrey Hollander in the water closet.
When suggesting the photo to Hollander, I said, "Your red hair! The blue wall!" and Hollander said, "The white toilet!" That is why you should vote for the Eminent Domain of Audrey Hollander in tomorrow's California election.Labels: audrey hollander, because, technical difficulties, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 04, 2008--
Meanwhile, back at Dr. Probe's
 Even in this environment of limited healthcare choices, a woman still has one or two options when choosing a gynecologist.
And I'm not normally the type of person to blame the victim, but if a woman opts to visit a gynecologist called "Dr. Probe," well, she probably has it coming. I mean, I wouldn't go to a hooker named Dentata.
Read the review here.
Previously: Audrey Hollander cares enough to replace the rollLabels: audrey hollander, jim powers, otto bauer, reviews, sindee jennings
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, March 14, 2008--
Audrey Hollander cares enough to replace the roll
 ...and if you invite her to your house? She will always bring a nice cake or something, or a mix tape.
Previously: In every Cum Fart Tsunami, a tacit confirmation; Barely Legal: Generations
Labels: "set visits", audrey hollander, redheads, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, February 06, 2008--
In every Cum Fart Tsunami, a tacit confirmation
 Anal scene accounting was a charge long-levied against former AVN editor Mike Ramone. Now, cooling tempers have set the stage for a tender rapprochement, with cum farts playing the part of doves.
There was a time when disgruntled AVN employees would leak information from their Chatsworth stronghold to the likes of Lurk Ford or Rock'n'Roll Gene "Pool" Ross, both of whom would gaily print anything negative or speculative about the company.
I arrived at AVN in the waning days of this distribution system and would occasionally read things about myself on blogs that could only have come from my co-workers.
To a lesser degree, Mike South would also print insider info about AVN. It was South who broke the news that I got fired, in fact, a a tidbit hastily e-mailed by someone in a nearby cubicle the moment I returned to clean out my desk.
Back then there were fewer porn industry news sites, but now the web is lousy with them. (And none is more lousy than mine.) Perhaps because of the competition, by all accounts AVN is a much happier place and more cohesive, with frequent company-sponsored feasts from In-n-Out Burger.
But when Mike Ramone edited the magazine, a put-down of sorts favored by one staffer was that all Ramone did was count anal scenes in movies. Ramone countered that his job was not limited to this. Now that Ramone has exited AVN and become a director, the press release for his Cum Fart Tsunami confirms that indeed Ramone kept a rectal tally.
“Throw in super hardcore ass fucking, d.p.s [sic], triple penetrations, and in Audrey (Hollander)’s case, so many penetrations at the same time that I lost count (emphasis added), leading up to the massive felchings, and wrap it all up in a hardcore BDSM package, with real fetishy sex, clothes and sets (including a seedy, graffiti and glory hole-ridden bathroom stall and a sleazy old school dirty book store), and Cum Fart Tsunami should be a cum farting fan’s ultimate wet dream," raved Ramone. "Raincoats will not be optional.” I don't know what the significance of this is, other than it proves a softening of ancient rivalries like so much stool.
Previously: 2007 AVN wrap-up; Adult industry spared; Bildungsroman; Cum on Her Chops
See also: Robert Hill ReleasingLabels: audrey hollander, avn, commentary, directors
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, December 13, 2007--
You Be the Judge: Squirting or Urinating?
 Of the debates that occasionally tear Porn Valley asunder, there is none so divisive as what constitutes squirting and what is peeing. And if there was a movie about 'MILF"s who "squirt", well, we'd be here all day.
I received two movies today, one called Super Squirters 4 and one called Tinkle Time 2. Both used alliteration, both used multiples of 2 in the title. The following might be heresy, but Was the substance that came out similar, too?
Can you tell what the people in the next two pages are about to do?
 Here is Sophie Dee. Everything she does is wonderful, and Welsh. But what is she about to do?
 This is a little bit arty. I know all about art.
 Maybe this is a no-brainer because Flower Tucci is so closely associated with squirting. But don't typecast her.
 Here Otto Bauer and Audrey Hollander command Chelsie Rae to do something on the grass. What will it be?
 Tinkle Time 2
Super Squirters 4
Previously: Porner's Almanac Week 4; Squirting and self-censorship
See also: JM Productions, VenomLabels: audrey hollander, chelsie rae, flower tucci, MILF, new porn daily, otto bauer, sophie dee, squirting, urination
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, September 28, 2007--
Barely Legal: Generations
 Like wizened Army veterans gathered to share a drink and a laugh over fallen comrades in ancient battles, several performers from Hustler's Barely Legal series gathered last night at Hustler Hollywood to swap stories and talk about the old days.
Some, like Audrey Hollander and Kimberly Kane, had appeared as far back as Barely Legal 45, released in 2003.
"Jesus CHRIST," I shouted so the antique ladies could hear through their ear trumpets. "I'm surprised you're still ALIVE. This should be called Barely BREATHING."
"Oh, shut up," they said.
Read more after the gap.
The event, such as it was, consisted of nine or ten girls (including Alexandra and Jenny Hendrix from Barely Legal 75) signing posters and posing for pictures. Director Erica McLean walked through the crowd, as did, inexplicably, Danny Bonaduce. But there were other redheads I needed to take pictures of.
 Audrey Hollander whispered that, of the three female redheads in the room (the other two being Jamye Langford and Alexandra), she was the only natural one. Then she proved it. My camera wasn't that fast, and besides, I'm all about LIVING, baby. I can't take pictures of everything.
 It is, of course, impossible to tell if Alexandra is a natural redhead because she's shaved down there. And Langford was too busy with markers up her nose for me to check.
I am always happy to see Angie Savage, and it happened that I had just seen her in pornographic form not three hours before in Babysitters. I always feel uncomfortable saying to porn performers that I'd seen them in a movie, but I think that's my problem. I should just not say it to them while sweating, drooling, or in front of their children at Costco.
 Anyway, Savage and I got to talking about spanking. I don't know why, but I'm also not complaining.
"I'm more of a domme lately," she said, "and I'm rarely on bottom, but when I am I love getting spanked. It makes my butt tingle."
I replied that, while petite, she looked like she could take a spanking onslaught. I am always wary of pornstresses who are so small and thin that they look like they might break in half, or quarters. And then I am wary that, by saying someone looks like she could take a spanking, that I am implying she is fat. This is not true, of course, of Savage. Get off my goddamn back.
O, Reader, would that I could have stepped away from my august role as America's Beloved Porn Journalist and spanked Angie Savage halfway down San Vicente Blvd. But it's important I maintain some objectivity. I do this for you.
I talked with director Otto Bauer for a while. He told me had scenes in the can that he couldn't even release in Europe, but that he hoped the cycle might comee around again to make that material saleable in the U.S. He described footage in which there was so much fisting that people were forgetting whose arms the fists were attached to.
 I wish Jenny Hendrix would stop looking at me this way. I want to do terrible things to her. If she were an infant, I'd say the look was gas. But Jenny Hendrix is not an infant.
I have always admired anyone in the porn industry who is cordial to fans and spends hours on her (or his) feet being gracious at signings and conventions. Many of the women last night spent as much time taking pictures with a roomful of fans as they did at the table. I couldn't do that; I'd need to drink.
See a gallery here (now with no nudity!)
Previously: Barely Legal 75: Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland; Angie Savage and Crissy Moran in different underpants; Good Friday at the Filth Factory; Young Hollywood; Report: Night of 101 Girls "Pleasant", "Good"
See also: Hustler Labels: "kimberly kane", "nautica thorn", "vena virago" wgl, angie savage, audrey hollander, events, hustler, jenny hendrix, otto bauer, redheads
posted by Gram the Man
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--Sunday, May 13, 2007--
He still likes to watch her walk away
 Here Otto Bauer checks out his spanking/life partner Audrey Hollander as she crosses the Filth Factory set. In a world where there is even desensitizing spray, it is important to let a natural reaction show up every now and then.
The reaction here is: "I want that on a plate with a glass of milk. Wait. Forget the milk. And the plate."
Bauer's Supercore line of products, 41 of which he purchased from previous distributor Mach 2, is now distributed by Ninn Worx.
Previously: Good Friday at the Filth Factory; Puttin' on the Filth; I'll see you on the dark side of Mika Tan
See also: Otto Bauer: Not A Conventional Marxist, Ninn WorxLabels: audrey hollander, directors, ninnworx, otto bauer
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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