| --Friday, November 28, 2008--
Same time last year: Donkey Punching Barbi Benton Edition
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, November 10, 2008--
Wittols: Cuckolds without the consequences
 Are cuckolds the new milves? The niche in which men watch their spouses get taken - carnally! - by other men is ripe for pornic abuses.
The term "cuckold" comes from the Middle English cokewold and refers to a cuckoo hen who lays her eggs in another's nest. Cuckolding came to encompass both an adulterous woman and her unwitting husband as well as the other man who aided the woman in cuckolding him.
The key here is that the husband is unwitting. He is not a swinger, he is not giving his wife a birthday present, he is not a reverse-unreconstructed Mormon. He is not giving consent to this atrocity.
 But there is such a thing as a willing (or witting) cuckold, and he is known as a wittol.
Porn has a long tradition of wittolry, with such series as Dave Cummings' Screw My Wife Please in which real couples are visited by a male porn performer who services the wife.
But straight-up cuckolding requires a little humiliation. Last year, Chatsworth Pictures began its Cuckold series, which included innovations like Oh No, There's A Negro in My Wife!
The logline of the Cuckold series is "Sometimes the only thing wrong with your wife is You."
Unlike some of my friends, I am not of the opinion that porn needs to exist just because it's porn. But now and then I see a niche that is more socially relevant than others and that, I think, porn is uniquely suited to examine. Cuckolding is such a niche. Unfortunately, it has been bastardized.
Here we see pictures from Pink Visual's Housewife Bangers 11 ("Hot wives banged right in front of their loser husbands!"), featuring Luscious Lopez. At no time in the movie does she say that she is a housewife. Her husband, Bobby, manages the Vegas strip club in which she dances, and he thought it would be a good idea to consent to a birthday present: she will bang one of her regular lap dance recipients, here played by Ethan Cage.
 We know that Lopez and Cage are already porn stars, so there goes that element of reality. But "Bobby" is acquiescing to the banging, so he is a wittol. The boxcover copy, however, suggests that he is a four-star cuckold by calling him a "loser." Who do we believe?
The answer, of course, is that you can believe no one but me.
I think it would be cool to have a series in which a man is cuckolded but he has no idea, sort of like how Doyle Lonegan got "stung" in The Sting (not to be confused with today's previous entry). The movie would feature wives being banged in front of their husbands without their husbands knowing it.
This could be achieved through careful costuming. For example, a couple could be riding in the car with the husband driving, and the wife's adultery partner could be dressed as the passenger seat. Or the couple might be going out for ice cream and the wife gets a banana split with a cock in it. One of the state's many historic gloryholes could be dressed up like an ice cream parlor for this purpose.
Watch Housewife Bangers 11 here.
Buy Housewife Bangers 11 here.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: You can't tell Lorena Sanchez anything when she gets this way; Pussy Party via the Ass
See also: Pink Visual, Chatsworth Pictures, Dave CummingsLabels: "chatsworth pictures", cuckold, dave cummings, ethan cage, luscious lopez, MILF, nichealert, pink visual, wittol
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, October 24, 2007--
I am compiled
 Now that members of the Porn Writers Guild (West) have been given the greenlight to strike, it comes as extra insult that my brilliant "hilarious and stroke worthy" work in this spring's Cuckold 2 has been re-released in the compilation Oh No, There's a Negro in My Wife!
I was not given any extra compensation for this film, and only learned of it when my agent called me.
"Grams," he said. "Are you sitting down?"
"What is it, Marty?" I asked.
"I'm watching you in a hotel room in Thailand!"
No wonder I have to freelance for AVNInsider; I'm not seeing any residuals for my porn catalog. What amazes me is that the movie was shot at the end of March, it came out in the beginning of May, and it's in a comp six months later.
Previously: You can't tell Lorena Sanchez anything when she gets this way
See also: Chatsworth PicturesLabels: "chatsworth pictures", lorena sanchez, stardom
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, May 07, 2007--
You can't tell Lorena Sanchez anything when she gets this way
posted by Gram the Man
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--Sunday, April 08, 2007--
Easter MILFs and the Fertile Crescent
 "I concentrate on the M in MILF," said Grip Johnson, reclusive co-director of Chatsworth Pictures' MILF Meat 6, in an exclusive Easter interview. Each of the women in his movie has physically borne a child and, according to my research, vaginally.
As we circle closer to a recognized MILF standard, it is indisputable that the M needs to be respected. Should we then pay attention to the irresponsible demands of the faux-MILF contingent, who say that a woman becomes a MILF as early as 26 regardless of bearing (me) a child?
This is similar to the unity government we are attempting to build in Iraq, with the previously disenfranchised Shiites holding the majority of seats and the Sunnis, who comprised most of Saddam's old party, being thrown a bone to keep the peace.
If you compare the Shiites, who agree with the familial transfer of power from Mohammed's line to ours, to the contingent in Porn that favors an actual motherhood requirement for MILF status, and the Sunnis, who believe in an elected or chosen transfer of power, to those who only have a simple age requirement for MILFhood, well, where do you put the Kurds?
Further complicating matters is that the Shiites are in power only in Iraq and Iran, whereas the Muslim world in general is predominantly Sunni. It as if we are saying that the Porn World, long the focus of scrutiny, is nevertheless top-heavy and given too much weight; an oligarchy determining MILF fucks and fuck-nots.
We might say that Grip Johnson is reformed in his adherence to MILF standards compared to the fundamentalist Jim Powers, who believes that not only must a woman be a mother but also must have children old enough to have friends with sexual designs on her.
MILF Meat 6' performers range in age from 24 to about 38. "I personally don't want to have sex with someone old and broken down," said Johnson.
It is worth noting that, like many who espouse fundamentalist beliefs in any discipline, Powers does not practice what he preaches; I have found that, despite his brimstone rhetoric, some of the MILFs in his movies do not even have children.
But I do not call for a jihad on Powers, for I follow Xenu.
Therefore, though I agree with Powers' hard-line dogma, it is the Johnson Brothers who have most closely manifested the true MILF path in their own lives, and why I confer the International MILF Registry seal of approval on MILF Meat 6.
Read the review here.
Previously: MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve; Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry; Because I could not wait for MILFs...
See also: Chatsworth PicturesLabels: "chatsworth pictures", dvd, MILF
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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