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Thursday, June 11, 2009
Kayden Kross, Tommy Gunn, and "Rawhide II": Aloha spirit in the Vazquez Rocks
 Tommy Gunn offers Kayden Kross a pineapple on the set of Adam & Eve's Rawhide II, which wraps a ten-day filming schedule tonight with multiple land and water-based explosions. Also face-based explosions if you know what I mean."In general, fans don't talk dirty to me," said Kross, who plays the nice girl in this Mysterious Drifter in a Town with a Secret movie directed by Andre Madness. "It's usually Bree (Olson) who gets the dirty talkers. And she talks dirty right back." The action movie, casting Olson and Kross against type as the ruthless conniver and the squeakly-clean homebody, respectively, has been filming in the dusty and vast Canyon Country area north of Los Angeles, a place where blowing things up is not only tolerated but also encouraged. Madness said that Adam & Eve's original Rawhide, starring Carmen Luvana, was one of the company's best sellers. "But that one was a period piece and (Rawhide II) is set in the same area, and Kayden rides a horse, but it's more of a reboot than a sequel."  Kross said that Adam & Eve sells a lot of movies with naked girls and animals on the cover."So we've got me, a horse, a nice dog, and Bree cracking a whip on the cover of this one," she said. I still didn't get the idea of a reboot. Evan Stone also starred in the original but in this one plays an evil sheriff.  "This movie is like Roadhouse-meets-Rambo," Gunn said. "I shoot at people with a crossbow."The set of Rawhide II had not only an excellent barbecue chef ("I'm just doing this on my own today with a little Weber Grill," he said, "but when my company does the X Games we have two trailers full of grills around us. I look like Neil Peart") but also a dedicated pyrotechnics wrangler, who called himself a "powder guy."  "I'm pretty much deaf," he said. "But I've learned to read lips pretty good. I'm better at hearing men than women because women's voices are higher.""That's probably a good thing," said Gunn. Adam & Eve is getting very ambitious with its feature pornos. The company's 8th Day will be released on September 9, in time for AVN Awards consideration, and Rawhide II will be available and hyped by the January, 2010 Adult Entertainment Expo, which will make the new title visible to the most fans. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: On The 8th Day, God blew up Boston See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", andre madness, carmen luvana, Evan Stone, interviews, Kayden Kross, set visits, Tommy Gunn ¶ Thursday, June 11, 2009 0 Comments Links to this post 
Erotica L.A. to focus on fellatio, prostitution, military
 Tomorrow begins the 340th annual Erotica LA at the L.A. Convention Center. When Gaspar de Portola (and his men) stood atop the Santa Monica Mountains in 1769 and gazed at Porn Valley to the north, they were surely thinking about Tera Patrick's annual pilgrimage from Van Nuys to what would become Figueroa Blvd.Erotica LA is the most civilized and brightly lit of L.A.'s adult conventions, and this year features appearances by more than 50 porn personalities, including the rosters of Wicked and Adam & Eve (from Kirsten Price, Stormy Daniels, Mikayla Mendez, Alektra Blue, and jessica drake to Kayden Kross and Bree Olson), Monique Alexander, Nikki Jayne, Ron Jeremy, Belladona, Alexis Texas, Eva Angelina, Teagan Presley, Nina Hartley, and the reclusive Aria Giovanni. Seminars will include a blowjob workshop by Nina Hartley (she knows what she's talking about), a porn star panel with Joanna Angel, Kaylani Lei, Lexi Love, and Mr. Pete, and a Nevada prostitution primer from Mustang Ranch Madam Susan Austin (this one sounds fascinating).  In that vein, there will also be an adult industry career center sponsored by A.I. Studios. Curious fans might want to check out that booth, as it is an established fact that porn's makeup artists are the hottest women working in the adult industry.While Erotica L.A. continues through Sunday, with the final day free for active military, Saturday's FAME Awards will likely be the highlight of the show. The FAME Awards contain all the categories you would expect from an adult awards show - Best Ass, Best Boobs, etc. - but the voting is (mostly) done by fans. And performers who are not represented at Erotica L.A. proper - like the women of Digital Playground - tend to show up for the FAME Awards.  A three-day pass to Erotica L.A. costs $75 and, since the Lakers are not in residence at the neighboring Staples Center, parking should be easier. Plus, the L.A. Convention Center is a short walk to the Pantry Cafe.With the news this week that major sponsor AVN is consolidating its publications and the rumor that the company is moving into smaller quarters, Erotica LA will likely be a welcome relief from persistent bad news; the seminars sound fun, the FAME Awards is the best-run adult awards show, and the performers appearing aren't thronged by Vegas crowds and can sleep in their own beds at night. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Erotica LA in review - 2006, 2007, 2008; AVN 2009 - The only numbers you can trust See also: Erotica LA Labels: "joanna angel", avn, belladonna, bree olson, ela09, events, jessica drake, Kayden Kross, kaylani lei, kirsten price, Mikayla Mendez, nina hartley, ron jeremy, Stormy Daniels, tera patrick ¶ Thursday, June 11, 2009 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Amy Fisher: MILF over Miami
 Exxotica Miami, which in the past three years has grown to be the East Coast's biggest adult consumer show, next month features Amy Fisher hosting "The Search for South Florida's Hottest MILF."And the contest is on Mother's Day, May 10. I know of no other way for Dade County's moms to show their devotion to their children than by proving to the men who impregnated them that they are still desirable to porn fans who paid upwards of $35 a day to hoot at them. Imagine the joy on the faces of her brood when Mom comes home, glistening with sweat and melon body spray, covered with paw prints, and clutching a voucher for a trip to Jamaica. "You're leaving us again, Mom?" they weep. "Mommy only looks this good when she stays far away from you," she'll say tenderly. Amy Fisher, who has played both Lolita and MILF roles, joins fellow Milves Jesse Jane, Savanna Samson, Teagan Presley, and Eva Angelina at the event, as well as Ron Jeremy, Stoya, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Kayden Kross, Bree Olson, and the Wicked Girls, as well as Florida's Own Sunny Lane. The weekend also features the return of 2 Live Crew, who once uttered the immortal words: That Dick!Exxotica Miami runs from May 8th through May 10th. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: A clockwork tradeshow; Amy Fisher - it's not personal; 2 Live Crew's Luke quits music See also: Amy Fisher, Exxxotica Miami Labels: amy fisher, bree olson, eva angelina, events, florida, hip hop, jenna haze, Kayden Kross, MILF, ron jeremy, sasha grey, savanna samson, stoya, sunny lane, teagan presley, wicked ¶ Tuesday, April 21, 2009 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, April 16, 2009
XRCO Awards tonight
 I was a voter for tonight's X-Rated Critics' Organization (XRCO) Awards, and I look forward to seeing (from afar, alas, I will be in another state) if I picked the right whores to win, place, and show.This is the 25th annual XRCO event, open only to industry members by a process involving scent recognition and retinal scans, and will be hosted by the alliterative and diminutive duo of jessica drake and Kayden Kross. Tonight's event will be dedicated to Marilyn Chambers. Good luck to everyone - wish I could be there. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: XRCO from the outside in See also: XRCO Labels: awards, jessica drake, Kayden Kross, marilyn chambers, xrco ¶ Thursday, April 16, 2009 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, March 20, 2009
Kayden Kross goes back to the Garden
 While 90 percent of the porn world uses Apple computers, I doubt Apple had its marketing people call Adam & Eve to place a PowerBook in Kayden And Rocco Make A Porno.Still, that is obviously an Apple logo the Adam & Eve sticker is covering, and I apologize beforehand to anyone who might have landed on this site as a result of a search involving the words "Adam," "Eve," and "Apple." I arrived on this set with one minute left to go in the shooting schedule. Director David Lord actually shot acccording to the shooting schedule he sent me. "Sorry that I kept my word, Grams," he said.  Kross wrote the script to this movie on the same PowerBook. Since I arrived so goddamn late, I wasn't about to ask her to disrobe, though she surely would have, because Kayden Gives So Much. I'll ask her tomorrow.The juxtaposition of product logo and obscured product logo could only have been more compelling if Third World Media made a porn with Sally Struthers in it. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Jenny Hendrix keeps in touch; No Easter for Alix Lakehurst; Stoya finds cigarettes, pierogies in Philadelphia See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", Apple, david lord, Kayden Kross, set visits, third world media ¶ Friday, March 20, 2009 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Kayden Kross puts the P in PSK
 Kayden Kross hosts Porn Star Karaoke tonight the only way she knows how: TO THE EDGE!The extreme Kross, a volatile dynamo of fists and vengeance, will rock the mike and your immortal soul so close to the Pass Ave. exit on CA 134 that your teeth will come loose and sweat rings will appear on your garments, which will then catch on fire, despite the sweating. "You fuck with Dre, you fuck yourself," said Snoop Dogg. Kross, the Adam & Eve contract star and the gatekeeeper to a world of fantasy and pain you cannot begin to imagine, often appears naked. The setting of Porn Star Karaoke, Sardo's Bar, is a guarded compund at the south end of a Von's Parking lot. Unassuming and accessible, its waitresses are nevertheless confused for porn stars all the time, which is the way reasonable people like it when being served inexpensive alcohol.  Kross descends on Sardo's now and then, a feature princess in a gonzo world, and just dares you to mess with her. "One day Gram will come back," she did not say, a single tear making its way between her perfect - well, her perfect everything.I can't go tonight, but if you do, try the excellent fries. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: In the company of Kayden Kross See also: Kayden Kross, Sardo's Labels: "adam and eve", events, Kayden Kross, PSK ¶ Tuesday, February 24, 2009 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Kayden Kross and Angelina Armani: Again with the pointless nipple obfuscation
 I understand that there are ancient and venerable laws governing the display of nipples for the purpose of inciting sexual arousal, and the March issue of Club International magazine, which features the first pairing of Digital Playground and Adam & Eve talent since the original Pirates movie, dutifully blots out the nubby portion of Angelina Armani's and Kayden Kross' nipples.Would it be helpful if I told you that, unless they are wizened, misshapen, and spurting liquefied uranium 238, nipples don't interest me at all, and that I represent all Americans when I say this? Would it help if I said that I at first thought the beige blotting devices were part of these alliterative actresses' nipples and marveled at their size before I realized that - cockblockery! - I wasn't actually looking at nipples? No, I guess it wouldn't. After all, I'm only America's Beloved Porn Journalist, as certified by the United Nations. It is now 12:07 AM and I am drunk as a lemur. But I know what I know. I include the following paragraph so that you can decipher it: Besides those two temperature-raising layouts, Kayden is included, along with Adam & Eve’s other exclusive contract star Bree Olson, in the star-studded feature article on adult star blowjobs. Readers will learn a lot from the secrets and techniques of such XXX names as Joanna Angel, Sunny Lane, Courtney Cummz and more!Having met both Kross and Armani and knowing that both are charming and beautiful, I can assure you that in person their nipples look much different, and that it is very likely that if you were to buy the March issue of CI your newstand price would take care of the removal of those hated nipple obfuscation devices (but don't steal the magazine, else that shit stays on). Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Club Sandeewich; Memphis Monroe's nipples get Clubbed; Help Angelina Armani learn to love L.A.; See also: Adam & Eve, Digital Playground, Club Labels: angelina armani, bree olson, club magazine, Kayden Kross ¶ Tuesday, January 06, 2009 2 Comments Links to this post
Friday, January 02, 2009
Gram Ponante announces Oscars of Porn
 At a tearful ceremony this morning at the Lamplighter Restaurant, the grant-funded National Institutes of Pornographic And Pornotextual Arts presented their Oscars of Porn, the first and most prestigious adult awards of the year."Don't do drugs," said noted porn journalist Gram Ponante. "Ever since the Institutes instituted this institution, the cash and blowjobs have been flowing in," Ponante added. "And frankly, I'm about spent from everything that's been flowing out." Ponante demonstrated this depletion in the only way he knew how for a vocal contingent of foreign press. "Stay in school," Ponante said, unraveling for a Belgian camera crew. The Oscars of Porn were named for Oscar Goldman, Steve Austin's boss in the Six Million Dollar Man. NASA and JPL estimates concluded in 1983 that wounded astronaut Austin's cyborg rejiggering only cost $1.2 million, indicating that Goldman's assessment of the bionic man's worth was irrationally exuberant. Thus a perfect fit for porn. "Our hearts go out to our nation's military," Ponante said. 2008 Excellence in Adult And/Or Erotic Entertainment Honors  Porn Movie of the YearThe Texas Vibrator Massacre "Just about everything a porn movie should have is neatly packed into Rob Rotten's instant classic. The title alone says it doesn't take itself too seriously, yet the movie proves better than most grindhouse movies in that all the women you want to see naked actually become that way. And then, conveniently, they become dead. In this way, your ancestors are not shamed. So what if it's not original? Tobe Hooper would have wanted Roxy DeVille naked, too."  Think-piece of Ass of the YearO2: The Surrender of O "Juicy submissive Bree Olson tops from the bottom in the second excellent O movie from Ernest Greene. There's sealing wax, contracts on heavyweight paper, weeping, sage advice from Nina Hartley, excellent performances from Kayden Kross and Mika Tan, and Tommy Gunn as a bathrobe-wearing ne'er-do-well freeloader playing myself."  Conspicuous Cumsumption AwardPirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge "'Don't you know we're in a goddamn recession?' I shouted at the lavish Pirates 2 premiere, in which each attendee was given $1,000 cash and Tera Patrick's social security number, then was driven home by Jesse Jane. Everyone should have a copy of Pirates 2 not only because it is one of the most expensive porn movies ever made but also because it looks it, with Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, Belladonna, and Jenna Haze working their asses off, only to have them fucked back into place."  Best Couples' FilmSlave 01 "Moxie Maddron is kept in the utility closet of a comfortable Porn Valley home by Eric Swiss in this intimate film by feel-good director Mike Ramone. Ramone joins Eli Cross, Mark Kulkis, and Heidi Pike-Johnson as former AVN editors who direct movies, and he delivers a character study that is as heartwarming as a Pixar film. Mark my words: Ramone will be the country's biggest exporter of hugs and smiles in '09." Honorable Mention: Joey Buttafuoco Caught On Tape. "While it was - shocking! - staged, I believed the 'I love you.'"  Best BushThe Crash Pad "While director Shine Louise Houston's series about a wiretapped San Francisco apartment used by itinerant sex-having lesbians might concern First Amendment activists, it is Porn's most enduring legacy to our 43rd president." Honorable Mention: The Bush Administration. "It's like pubic hair for straight people!"  Best TravelogueMiles from Needles "Huell Howser would be impressed with Savanna Samson's in depth study of the California hinterlands and its colorful characters. A movie awash in death, rednecks, and boobies, Miles from Needles features excellent performances by Kimberly Kane and April Blossom, and is even better than ario Argento's Hesperia."  Most Earnest Porn without Sasha Grey in It, Though Luckily It Has Madison YoungThe Whore Within Me "Like atoms, whores just are. We needn't explain what makes someone a whore, we just need to let whores go off and be whorish without comment or examination. If we break down the whore to her component protons and electrons, we risk a spermonuclear reaction."  If By 'Oven' You Mean 'Vagina,' Well, Then Yes She's Got One in the Oven AwardNina Hartley's Great Sex During Pregnancy "The Future No-Name Jane is knocked up and up in this movie, which says that you can't get a woman pregnant enough."  Glass Ceiling AwardMother of the Year "Used to be that having children meant the end of a woman's career. Not any longer. With California's 1997 MILF Statutes finally being enforced, the sky's the limit for women unsatisfied with the limitations of Entrance Only vaginas."  You Can Leave Your Shirt On Awardcirca '82 "Whether it's a style choice or they're all burn victims, these girls are bottomless like a good cup of coffee throughout this movie, featuring appearances by members of the Circle Jerks and the Germs."  Comeback of the Year (pt. II) AwardTricia Devereaux in Defend Our Porn "Performing in the one original scene in an excellent 3-disc compilation set meant to defray Evil Angel's court costs in its recent obscenity case, the delightful Devereaux just might make you defray all over yourself."  Triple-crossed by a Tranny AwardGia Darling Will Kick Your Ass! "This movie dramatically illustrates a disturbing trend in our neighborhoods that is killing our fish and ducks: Abducted by dominatrices, fey but otherwise innocent men will be further humiliated/stimulated when the domme reveals a tranny lurking in the wings."  Robert Fulghum AwardStoya: Deeper 11 "Stoya's facial expressions give the impression that what is happeing to her is unexpected, whether she is ordering pierogies or being sodomized. This allows her to maintain her sense of wonder. Everything you need to know you can learn propped atop Stoya's near-translucent hillocks."  Best Hentai And Pickup LineNight When Evil Falls I "I'll let these tentacular underpants-probing Japanese animated professionals speak for themselves -
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: 2007 Awards; 2006 Awards Labels: 2008, awards, belladonna, bree olson, jesse jane, Kayden Kross, madison young, mika tan, nina hartley, noname jane, roxy deville, sasha grey, savanna samson, stoya, transsexual ¶ Friday, January 02, 2009 2 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
2008 in Review: Best Set Visit
Adam & Eve's The 8th Day
 "The stage is the god-damnedest woman you ever saw." - Neil Diamond, liner notes from "Hot August Night"It was indeed a hot August night when I left the set of a movie called - IRONICALLY ENOUGH!!! LOL:) - The 8th Day. I understand that, because certain crew people nominally contracted to other companies were working on this post-apocalyptic movie for Adam & Eve, that there is actually a lawsuit. Now I like nuisance lawsuits as much as anybody, but do you really think valuable time that could have been spent finalizing the screenplay to Upnose: Banned from the Venetian was wasted on this Bree Olson/Kayden Kross/Amber Rayne epic?  Despite, apparently, the huge ethics violations that made this movie possible, I had a great time in the dusty Bellflower paintball park that served as its Cli Max: The Load Warrior location. I met the frank Krissy Leigh, the diaphanous Feather Rosewood, reacquainted myself with Darryl Hanah and Amber Rayne, and got Kayden Kross up against a locker. All while being dressed by Lexi Lamour and processed by someone calling himself Belial the Dark Prince.I understand that The 8th Day is in danger of having its release delayed because of the legal nonsense, but I can't imagine the studio that released The Real Boogie Nights doesn't have loftier aims to attend to. See my 8th Day gallery here. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: 2O28: An Ass Kaydyssey Kross; All we want is what's beyond RollerDollz; And on the 8th Day, God blew up Boston See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", 2008, amber rayne, darryl hannah, feather rosewood, Kayden Kross, krissy leigh, set visits ¶ Tuesday, December 30, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
In the company of Kayden Kross
I was informed of my first porn industry award early this morning by registered letter and one of those pajamagrams. Adult producer/fisherman Mike South said that I had the best blog aside from his, and that I actually wrote, as distinct from Kayden Kross, who South says is the best writer who doesn't.Similarly, I feel that Kayden Kross and I should have won Best Porn Couple aside from the fact that we are not a couple and she has consistently refused offers to come live with me at my Porn-Supremacist compound. Also receiving awards were Christian X, Sasha Grey, and Don Houston, although I have a feeling South's compliments in those cases might be described as "backhanded." Clearer shows of support went to the prolific Den of Cyberspace Adult Video Reviews (you can tell how long it's been around by the title), and to the couple Nicole Sheridan and Voodoo. Now that I have received this award I am going to go on a publicity tour to secure more awards. I think I'll go on Howard Stern. He's still alive, right? I'll let you know that I have not even purchased a drink for Mike South, whom I have met in person three times for a total of four minutes. So don't send me your Marisa Tomei hate mail. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Kayden Kross and the luchadores See also: Mike South Labels: awards, christian x, don houston, Georgia, Kayden Kross, mike south, nicole sheridan, sasha grey, voodoo ¶ Wednesday, December 24, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, November 17, 2008
Today in porn disgruntlement: Adam & Eve
 I received an e-mail this morning from a person calling himself (I assume it was a he) "Barock Odrama." The letter concerned his grievances with Adam & Eve's production manager, a woman named Meredith Christopher.I like Christopher. She has always been cool to me. But I get along with everybody. While the letter was better written than most adult business "open letters," it will fare just as well, which is not at all. This is because the dirty laundry in letters like this comes as a surprise to no one. The audacity of Mr. Odrama's hope is that he is writing in a world in which the adult industry is not already thought of as corrupt and incompetent. When I was at AVN (and prior to this) there were several employees who leaked information to the likes of bloggers named Luke Ford and Gene Ross. the bitterati, who, for their own reasons, were only too happy to print it. Later, after AVN information became scarce, disgruntled employees at Hustler did the same thing. Neither episodes of venting to bloggers resulted in anything other than personal embarrassment for the people targeted. And what is personal embarrassment in a business that produced Dirtpipe Milkshakes? And the power of the printed word? Seriously. Think of all the people you know should be fired. Can you think of anyone who actually was terminated due to a letter writing campaign? No, they were only fired when they were recorded trying to trade blowjobs for AVN trophies. Now and then I'll get a phone call from someone who starts to tell me juicy information about a porn performer, director, or executive. I will refer them elsewhere. "Do you expect an apology," I'll ask. "A cash settlement?" But I'll print this letter, because it provides a backstage look at how adult personalities think. You will see that it is not too different from the way anyone thinks who has been thwarted, somehow, by the system. But first an exchange from The Departed: Ellerby: Cui Bono, who benefits? Colin Sullivan: Cui gives a shit? It's got a freakin' bow on it. An Open Letter About Adam & EveBecause the readers of my site are not necessarily the target audience for such an e-mail, I checked around the web (time constraints usually prevent this) and saw the letter posted on the sites of a few usual suspects in the adult blogging community. Here at the office, we have narrowed down a list of five possible authors, each with his own axe to grind, and one of whom I'll call a wild card, like the Cubs. The place where the writer takes offense most personally, it seems, is in Paragraph 8. Everything else seems like foundation building. Are the points about the choices (or non-choices) of contract stars and their handling valid? Porn performers are like delightful butterflies - it is always difficult to herd them. What about movie production? Is it possible there is a porn movie that could have all its sex removed and still not be marked as a porn movie - from as far away as space? No. And as far as poaching people under contract elsewhere else, why do you think people use so many names? It happens all the time. In other words, even if all these charges are true, a letter never changed anything. I wrote a letter to the gmail address of Mr. Odrama asking for some clarification of his points but have received no response. They're good points, sure, but only if there was some embezzling would any heads roll. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: 8th Day; Kayden Kross, jealous boyfriends, and the pitfalls of real estate tycoonery; Tailgunners; Carmen Luvana - the mosaic is the message; Vicky Vette - when boobs are not enough See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "stormy daniels", Ava Rose, bree olson, business, conflict, dirty laundry, eva angelina, jesse jane, Kayden Kross, sasha grey, sic, tera patrick ¶ Monday, November 17, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, November 06, 2008
2O28: An Ass Kaydyssey Kross
 The secret to longevity as a male porn performer is to be a ham. Here Evan Stone steals focus from the centerpiece of the scene in O2: The Surrender of O."I didn't mean to upstage her ass," Stone did not say (though I'm confident he might have), "I just thought it looked like the scene from 2001."  See the O2 gallery here. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Surrender of O first look See also: Adam & Eve Labels: ernest greene, Evan Stone, geekery, Kayden Kross, reviews ¶ Thursday, November 06, 2008 1 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Shocker: Some Pornorazzi hated
 "They stand there. They get in the way. They gawk. You can hear them breathing."As Santa Ana winds and a tightening ring of fire drive adult casts, crews, and the media personnel that cover them closer together, both sides are chafing at the intrusion of new-school pornorazzi - people with disposables and camera phones itching to get close to their idols at porn parties and sets. A veteran director told me that he used to demand closed sets, but the rise of viral media as well as increased competition between adult publications has forced him to consent to his company's wishes to invite press on set. "But you're all right, Gram," he said. "I'd invite you anyway." (This is because I picked up and hid his old-tymey coke spoon when he had carelessly left it out in front of a TMZ crew recently.) And among the handful of writers and photographers who have covered porn events for years is a genuine anger at the lack of decorum practiced by the interlopers. The appearance of guys with Mini DV cameras nosing in on their turf sparks cries of indignation similar to those uttered by "Golden Age" porn directors angry about being usurped by people who can find the Record button. "They think that all they need is a camera and suddenly they're media," said Dominic X, owner of the EMM Agency, a standby in the porn world for high quality still images that is branching into mainstream red carpet events. "Did you see that guy in the wheelchair?" Dominic and I worked an event recently that was especially lousy with cameras. A man in a wheelchair rolled back and forth and was often underfoot. That was fine, except: "And I have video of him groping the girls," Dominic said. I have heard of two sets of people within the adult industry agitating for a media guild, in which members would have to be invited and might even get laminated press cards for their scrapbooks. "That way the girls are protected and we don't have to keep shoving people out of the shot," Dominic said. Adella O'Neal and Tim Williams, who handle various aspects of the AVN Convention and Awards press experience for different companies, both are overwhelmed by the number of people from dubious media outlets attempting to get into the events for free. "I see the same people show up year after year," Williams said, "and I have never seen any of their coverage in what you might call a legitimate publication." What I might call a legitimate publication changes every year as a business model that was based on pay-for-use photo services has blown up into viral images and videos taken without permission and posted on the cheap. For the performers who want it, it's free publicity. For the media, it is a problem that gets worse at each event. O'Neal said she regularly rejects at least 20 percent of the submissions, whether they are walk-ups or attempted pre-registers. "A lot of them are just fans," she said. Certain fandom engenders a proprietary urge toward performers who are already vulnerable for having appeared so clinically naked in dozens of videos. And, according to some performers, individual members of the media sometimes mask their insecurity by printing hateful things. "They're just jealous," said performer Jack Lawrence. For perspective, I found an interview I conducted with Harvey Levin, the developer and host of TMZ, a Hollywood gossip blog and basic cable show. "We're vultures," he said in 2007. "But these people want us to catch them. That's what they signed on for when they became famous." However much Levin believes his employees have the right to prey on celebrities, adult entertainment "news" culture is actually much more considerate of the talent, mostly keeping a respectful distance. And, as Kayden Kross told me recently, "I like it when people take pictures" and she dresses, or doesn't dress, accordingly. Still, there seems to be a general consensus within the Porno-American community of driving The Other away. This might be difficult because some studios are getting addicted to viral press, even if it doesn't lead to sales. One of the factions hoping to put together a media guild even suggests telling companies they will receive no coverage from guild members if non-guild members are allowed on set. Such an embargo is unlikely to be beneficial to anyone, but it does boil down to politeness. I talked with Richard Montfort, studio photographer and porn director. He acknowledged that the growing pornorazzi issue concerned him. "They eat all our craft services," he said. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Vicky Vette: when boobs are not enough; Columbia Journalism Review addresses porn megaconglomerates; Twilight of the Hustler studio Labels: avn08, business, Kayden Kross, richard de montfort, tmz, trademags ¶ Thursday, October 23, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, October 20, 2008
Night of Night of the Giving Head
 Caroline Pierce stood at the keg, topless, handing out beer."I'm Queen of the Zombies," she said, drawing a nice head on a cup of Oktoberfest, and the night only got better. I'd been to a couple of events over the past few weeks that ended in tears, the kind hyped by a sleazy promoter as teeming with dozens of porn stars partying on the rooves of Hollywood landmarks but that turned out to be dismal affairs that were moved several times, cancelled before they were started, and uniformly devoid of the people you come to this site to see. (And don't try to placate me by saying "Oh no, Grams, I come to your site to be inspired by your insights into the porn world and its machinations. The pictures are secondary to my desire to glean from your dense words a better picture of our life and times, and in so doing become a better person" because I would only believe you a little.) And so, when I arrived at the original location of porn legend Rodney Moore's party for hisd new release Night of the Giving Head and was met not by fellatio-happy zaftig sweeties but instead by a burly but pleasant security guard named Brian, I thought I should just go home. "Party's been moved," he said. Where? I thought. Somebody's basement? An efficiency room at the Vagabond Inn? I'm done with porn, I thought. I hate these people. They ruin everything. "You know where Andora Street is?" Brian asked. "The party's there."  Usually when a party gets moved the new location is several steps down from the original. Not in this case. When an unbribable L.A. Fire Marshall announced to Rodney Moore's staff that there was no way 250 people were going to have a party in the warren of studio rooms last seen in these pages housing Lisa Ann's boobs, the event was moved four miles north and a thousand feet up to a house atop a hill overlooking Porn Valley from such a distance as to make that part of town look nice.On the way up the hill, I ran over a snake. On the way down, I almost ran over Kylee Reese. What does that mean? Anyway, the first person I saw upon entering was Caroline Pierce, who lives in Las Vegas and who was last in town for the filming of the movie - at that house - in August. "It's cooler, so my nipples are a little harder now," she observed. So did I. Pierce is one of the only porn stars I know who has never thrown in the towel and lived in L.A. Instead, when she works here she couch-surfs and then goes home. But to Las Vegas? She is so pale that I worry. "When you walk out of your house in Vegas in July," I asked, purposely not looking at her nipples because I am suave, "do you ever burst into flame?" "Yes." All right then. It was explained to me that Night of the Giving Head involves some kind of space ray that turns women into fellating zombies. I will review it soon in preparation for my lawsuit, as the story was taken from events in my own life.  Propped against some rocks in the back were Kylee Reese and Claire Dames. While they have not been in the business long, both Reese and Dames (who doesn't look like her one-letter-away mainstream namesake at all, which is fine by me) instantly made out when I took my lens cap off.I think if Ivan Pavlov were alive, he wouldn't need to kill dogs in order to prove his theory of conditioned reflexes. Instead he would just quietly remove a lens cap and watch every woman in the San Fernando Valley push her boobs together and floss her labia with a thong. I asked the two women to pose by the beautiful rocks and soon a ring of cameras formed behind us. This happened throughout the night. Reese and Dames, in red and blue, looked like they were forming a flag for a country I wanted to occupy. I moved away from the camera circle, and Reese and Dames continued posing. Someone was talking to his bros nearby. "It's a pussy, man," he said. "When she puts her pants back on, it'll still be there." I think this comment reflected his ennui with women in general and the porn industry in particular. "Who has hurt you?" I said. "She flashes her pussy and everyone starts taking pictures," he said. Down that road lies madness. She flashes her vagina so people will take pictures. People take pictures so she flashes her vagina. It might not happen (enough) at 7-11, but this was a porn party, after all.  In the door walked Kayden Kross. She's not in the movie but she is like the Sacramento ambassador to Porn Valley. Because she loves me more than any other, we fell into an easy conversation about life, love, the court system, and crucifixion."There were buzzards flying over my head," she said about nothing in particular. I asked to take a picture or three but soon the same ring of photographers was behind me. I excused myself. Soon poor Kayden was squeezing her boobs together and making out with her friend Amber, who demurely showed nothing as the cameras flashed. "I'm sorry you couldn't even get a drink before the paparazzi descended," I said. "I don't drink," Kross replied, "and people taking pictures is why I'm here." "Well, in that case," I said, "How about you [censored] my [censored] and [censored] it until [censored] comes out of your [censored], nose, and [censored]? I've been saving up." "You bet your [censored] that will soon be sticking half way out the back of my [censored]," she did not say. In another part of the property sat dapper Ray of Porn Valley News. He told me a harrowing tale of his site being hacked using iframe-based Trojan Horses. I shuddered and again was grateful that I have built my site using nothing but Silenium electrons and gum. (One atom picks up another atom at the airport. Arriving Atom says, "Damn it. I left my electrons in Phoenix." Atom Two says, "Are you sure?" "Well, I'm positive.") Two people told me about their plans to release porn on mobile phones. One plan sounded plausible. In other news, only one person of the 200 people wearing bluetooth headsets wasn't a douchebag, which was the highest percentage of bluetooth non-douchebaggery I've yet observed. There were many people I didn't recognize, which I like. Even if they're dressed like the old people, seeing new people at a function like this diminishes the recirculated air feeling I sometimes get.  One new person I met was Rucca Page. Page is not new to porn but she is new to me. Every time I write about her I get e-mails from people asking me to write more. She was recently in a movie called Muffintops."Where did you come from?" I asked. A reader named Sherman writes in now and then to tell me to post every picture of Rucca Page that I can. "She is the perfect woman," he says, and then tells me the things he'd like to see her do. Page seems to inspire this. "Las Vegas," she said. Everybody in Las Vegas must be a porn performer or Wayne Newton, or both. Making his way through the background of his own party was Rodney Moore, a very nice man but also very quiet. It's strange to encounter that sort of person in the porn world, where everyone wants to tell you about their cellphone-based porn schemes. Pierce likes Moore but also finds him subdued. Let's face it: a title like Night of the Giving Head implies tortured genius. "Rodney is a little inscrutable," she said. "And I've had sex with him. He once gave me an apron." I was glad I went to the party. Glad that the noble Fire Marshall had refused an implied blowjob and offers of cash and sent the event up the hill. See a gallery here. Watch Night of the Giving Head here Buy Night of the Giving Head here Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Aiden Starr abnd Caroline Pierce - just because See also: Rodney Moore Labels: caroline pierce, claire dames, events, interviews, Kayden Kross, kylee reese, rodney moore, rucca page ¶ Monday, October 20, 2008 2 Comments Links to this post
Monday, October 13, 2008
All we want is what's beyond Roller Dollz
 In April of this year I traveled to a place called Glendale on the very edge of Los Angeles, just past Thunderdome on the way to Oblivion. East of Glendale, Southern California musters up a last bit of courage and becomes Pasadena, which acts as sort of a "Glendale? What was I thinking?" but then the whole state seems to pass out from exhaustion. After Pasadena, there's really no reason to stop driving until St. Louis.Anyway, it was in those Glendabulous conditions that I witnessed the filming of RollerDollz which, even though it's an Adam & Eve film, is probably the greatest Sunny Lane movie ever made. I just looked at the pictures I took on set, however, and had to throw away most of them. I apologize. There are some good shots with Kayden Kross and some luchadores and a great Ava Rose ad for the snack counter, but most are blurry. It must have been the zombies (as you are doubtless aware, Glendale has the highest zombie population in the world). See the RollerDollz review here. Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Ava Rose: It's what's for dinner; Bree Olson's future planning; Kayden Kross representing the luchadores; Roller Dollz gallery See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", Ava Rose, bree olson, Kayden Kross, set visits, sunny lane ¶ Monday, October 13, 2008 7 Comments Links to this post
Friday, September 19, 2008
Kayden Kross, jealous boyfriends, and the pitfalls of real estate tycoonery
 People who come to this site for the latest poorly-spelled and ill-vetted porn world gossip have always been horribly disappointed. Why, the last time I printed gossip was when I commented (exactly two years ago) on the rampant speculation that I had been sold to Playboy.Regardless, the delightful Kayden Kross, formerly of Vivid and Hustler, now of Adam & Eve and America (not the band; the country), has been embroiled in a court case that, in addition to the litigants, pits those who wish ill on the beautiful against her corporate sponsors. Kross says she and a family facing mortgage foreclosure were pulled into a scam by a "shitty mortgage lender" in which (as can be seen on craigslist every day) she would assume mortgage payments from the family, who would then pay rent to her. That the mortgage still went unpaid and the family was kicked out of their home is the only certainty in a case called for arraignment in Sacramento on October 14. Kross says she was duped, the family involved (allegedly) says she knew about the scam all along, and porn sites written by friends and foes call her a victim or a criminal mastermind, or that what Kross calls naivete was actually very calculated. Adam & Eve, which just lost Ava Rose and does not want any harm to come to its blondes Bree Olson and Kross, addresses the issue as an example of the pettiness of a jilted ex: This issue is being fueled by an ex-boyfriend who has been charged on multiple occasions and is a convicted domestic abuser. Ms. Kross' case will be vigorously defended and she is looking forward to her day in court to expose the truth and clear her name of any wrongdoing.Oddly enough, porn is the only place where ex boyfriends enjoy any power whatsoever. Casey Parker's ex shocked dozens when he let it be known that she had, in fact, done porn before, an ex of Kami Andrews almost sent hordes of blowjob-seeking mopes to her house, Kiki D'aire's ex-family continues to try to discredit her to porn fans, and Jenna Jameson's ex won't quit in his designs to release awful movies with her in them. It would be a shame to think that Kross, who has always been nice to me despite the fact that all I can give her is exposure to a literate readership, was complicit in a real estate scam. What is currently a shame is that people not concerned with the case at all are taking such delight in it.
Previously: And on the 8th Day, God blew up Boston; Kayden Kross representing the Luchadores; Kami, Kiki, and Anastasia: Battle of the Exes See also: Club Kayden, Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", anastasia blue, Ava Rose, bree olson, kami andrews, Kayden Kross, kiki d'aire, legal ¶ Friday, September 19, 2008 2 Comments Links to this post
Monday, August 18, 2008
And on the 8th Day, God blew up Boston
 BELLFLOWER, Calif. (GP:PVO) -- It was all supposed to go so well.Dr. Alexander's Zero Point Energy Generator was designed to rid the world of its dependence on fossil fuels, ushering in a green era of clean energy, clean air, and clean water. But 42 years after the device backfired, sending the earth into a new dark age and obliterating most of its population, - OH WAIT THIS IS A PORN MOVIE.  Here in a dusty paintball arena southeast of Los Angeles, porn stars Kayden Kross, Amber Rayne, and a cast of nearly fifty extras labor under the hot sun and catch cover in an impressive five acre lot of abandoned and sandblasted trailers, military buildings, and city buses (one of which came from the city of Boston), which on any other day would be this paintball field, the playground of lucky, healthy teenagers and dangerous, unhinged 40-year-olds.Filming here is Ren Savant's The 8th Day, a post-apocalyptic porno for Adam & Eve. Newcomers to porn might not know Savant, but another number-themed movie of his for Vivid, Seven Deadly Sins, cleaned up at the 2000 AVN awards. Since then he has been a technical advisor and cinematographer, but apparently the chance to work with the eerily perfect Kayden Kross and indulge his desire to see the city of Boston destroyed proved too tempting. I made that last part up. Adam & Eve has no desire to blow up Boston. Internal documents reveal that if any city were to be destroyed for the purpose of a porn movie, it would be Brockton, MA, which would save a lot of money because it looks destroyed already. So how did it happen that corn-fed and sun-dappled kickboxer and equestrian Kross found herself beyond Thunderdome? It turns out that Dr. Alexander was her dad, and the last bright thing he did was get all Walt Disney on his daughter. (Perhaps that wasn't clear; he put her to sleep, he didn't let his successors market all the humanity out of her.) The 8th Day opens as Kross' character, Samantha, wakes up and finds that Los Angeles is a desert town filled with mutants.  Q. But Grams, Los Angeles is already a -A. Shut up. I'm making the jokes here. Do I come to your work and deliver the mail for you? According to several anonymous sources, the budget for this movie was $150,000. It includes nine days of shooting interrupted by a hiatus in which Kross goes to New Zealand for an adult show there and returns, sounding like an elf-maiden or Uruk-hai. On set with her today is Amber Rayne as Mel, a survivor "scav" who leads her through the wreckage of the city, for which this not-so-manufactured urban wasteland is the ideal set. Adam & Eve's other contract performer, Bree Olson, will also be in the movie. Also on hand are fifty extras from an L.A. casting agency. Porn performer Lexi Lamour is today working as the wardrobe mistress and she dresses people up the way popular culture suggests will be the style in a post-Revelation world: the women look like slutty Wilma Flintstones and the men look like Rob Halford.  The scenes shot today include lots of nudity but no sex. Rayne leads Kross through a bazaar (designed by Kylie Ireland) in which future-hookers hawk their wares and Heidi Mayne is tattooed. (Nostradamus predicted Mayne will be getting tattooed until at least 2112.) Kross looks wholesome in an Oxford shirt and no pants. Everyone else is grimy. The crowd listens to the sermon of "The Prince," a dark-complected man in a flowing gown who delivers a monologue about the evils of science.The actor playing the Prince is lifted, along with scantily-clad minions Violet Marcell and Darryl Hanah, to a watchtower overlooking the park, where he delivers his five-minute sermon word for word from memory at least five times for different camera angles. The women are not allowed to flash from that height, as a kids' soccer team is practicing in the next field, well within nipple-sighting range. This is a problem for Hanah, who has difficulty not being at least partially naked for more than ten minutes at a time. In Adam & Eve's history it has several times tried to brand a project with its company name, but it has had little success. There was last year's ill-fated Eden and the very promising but fruitless Search for Adam And Eve, which would have plucked from the non-porn public, for lack of a better term, a "contract couple." That project was plagued with wood problems, gonorrhea, and backstage squabbling (though it is my favorite performance by Carmen Luvana).  But with The 8th Day not only does the Prince introduce a flashback to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but (according to the script), Kross gets crucified in the end. So the movie one-ups the Bible in getting Genesis, the Gospels, and the aftermath of the apocalypse in one movie. Think of the catalog sales! But in sun-blighted Bellflower and Eden alike, there are those who need to be driven out. There were a few extras who had not received the memo that their $64 day rate did not allow them to be rude to the stars. One man approached Amber Rayne and asked how many cocks she could fit in her mouth, and then suggested "three." Producer Mark Logan fired him (and his ride) immediately. That's how we roll in the future.Since photography on The 8th Day will be completed in mid-September, the movie will not be ready in time to be considered for January's AVN awards, which dictate that candidates need to be on store shelves by the end of September of the previous year. Instead, the movie is set for release in early February, aided no doubt by a big push at the convention.  I wanted very much to get a photo of Rayne and Kross in front of the burnt out Boston bus, but light was not on my side and I like to blend seamlessly into proceedings, like Marcus Brody, rather than hold things up by dragging naked starlets through the dirt, which I can do at home. So I caught up with Kross in the locker area upstairs, where she gamely obliged me in a series of non-themed poses. I just said, "May I take your picture?" and she whipped her clothes off and proceeded through several industry-standard poses.I did not once ask how many cocks she could take in her mouth, because if one has to ask that sort of question, the answer is invariably "not yours." See The 8th Day backstage gallery here. Previously: From Carmen to Kayden; Beating up Amber Rayne at the American Hotel; Dana Vespoli from 2004 - just because; Feather beyond Thunderdome; Porn screenwriting: Money can buy a happy ending See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", amber rayne, chrissy lynne, darryl hannah, feather rosewood, Kayden Kross, kylie ireland, lexi lamour, ren savant, set visits, violet marcell ¶ Monday, August 18, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Kayden Kross representing the Luchadores
 Kayden Kross works on her fingering and footwork on the set of Rollerdollz.I'm not sure why people give the finger to the camera, but I don't think Sacramento's Kayden Kross means it. I just don't think she was brought up that way. She was doing what she thought I wanted. "I don't want that at all, Kayden Kross," I wanted to tell her. "I want you to just be."  But I didn't tell her this, and because of my complacency she's probably out giving the finger to Shriners.Previously: Bree Olson's future planning; Ava Rose: It's what's for dinner; It needs to stop See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", "set visits", finger, Kayden Kross, latin, sacramento, WGL ¶ Wednesday, April 02, 2008 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
From Carmen to Kayden
 Carmen Luvana's contract with Adam & Eve will end on January 1, 2008 and Kayden Kross will take her place in the trio of the company's contract stars.Carmen will be making personal appearances on a per-assignment basis for the Hillsborough, NC-based company, and Kross, who until October was a Vivid girl and prior to that was with Hustler, will be signing for Adam & Eve at January's Adult Entertainment Expo (aka the AVN Show), where she will join Bree Olsen and Ava Rose. Luvana will also be signing for Adam & Eve at the show in her new freelance basis. An Adam & Eve source told me several months ago that Luvana "just wants to have babies" (though I have not been able to corroborate this with Luvana, or if she intends to have them with me). Previously: Kayden Kross-town traffic See also: Adam & Eve Labels: "adam and eve", "contract girls", Ava Rose, bree olson, carmen luvana, Kayden Kross ¶ Tuesday, December 18, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, July 02, 2007
Vivid launches softcore series
 "Vivid Voyeur", a new TV-M package from Vivid, debuts this week in households and hotel rooms with DirecTV, and later will be available on In-Demand systems. The TV-M rating implies that this series will be aimed at couples, women, or sperm-avoidant men whose porn narrative doesn't always have to end with a facial cumshot. I asked America's Women to imagine that they were from Space and if, based on viewings of 100 random porn titles they'd watched at my house, how they thought the human species reproduced. The response was uniform. "Why do I stock up on birth control if all he's going to do is pull out and come on my face?" asked America's Women. The first Vivid Voyeur airs Thursday on DirecTV. "Wild Weekend at Club Vivid" features Kayden Kross (pictured) and Lanny Barby romping about with other porn stars and not getting come on their faces. August's entry is "Porn Star Makeover: Vivid Style". Vivid officials assure me that the makeovers do not involve faces full of come. Previously: Don't expect Jenna Haze Oil Orgy at Blockbuster; Obama behind porn endorsements?; Janine Loves Jenna See also: Vivid Labels: Kayden Kross, lanny barby, vivid ¶ Monday, July 02, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Adultcon Awards Saturday
 The first annual Adultcon Awards will take place on Saturday at Sunset Strip's Key Club, to be followed by a party there.Presenting at the ceremony will be Kayden Kross, Renae Cruz, Ashlynn Brooke, Nick Manning, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Tommy Gunn, Derek Hay, and Marcus London. The show is designed to last an hour. The show begins "promptly" at 8, and organizers say that no one will be admitted until the show is over and the party has begun. Attendees must be formally or semi-formally clad. Men must wear suit jackets. Larry Flynt and Tera Patrick will receive their awards in absentia. According to Adultcon's website, ClubJenna's Jay Grdina will accept his "Visionary" award in person. There is a $35 minimum for food and drinks. Previously: Cleopatra of the Nile wants you to die; Case study: Porn rumors and how to handle them; Janine Loves Jenna See also: Adultcon Awards Labels: "tera patrick", adultcon, Ashlynn Brooke, awards, Derek Hay, Evan Stone, hustler, Jack Lawrence, jenna jameson, Kayden Kross, larry flynt, Marcus London, Nick Manning, Renae Cruz, Tommy Gunn ¶ Tuesday, June 05, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
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