I have nothing to complain about living in Los Angeles. The Mexican food is less expensive and more plentiful than it was in Bogue Chitto, driving isn't as bad as people like to say it is, and I can watch Cloverfield with Korean subtitles.
But I admit that coming to work today was a trial, as the thermometer read a frigid 59 degrees outside Gram Ponante Towers, Helipad, Tijuana Farmacia, and Bus Terminal.
Then I received this photo of Vivica Charms with her ass facing the Pacific Coast Highway.
My thoughts raced back to mid-December, when this picture was taken. It was warmer then.
"We shot this at the San Onofre State Beach," said producer Sandy Bunz. "On summer weekends there are 3,000 nudists there."
San Onofre State Beach is ten miles south of Dana Point, just north of Richard Nixon's Western White House and the Camp Pendleton Marine Base.
To avoid the crowds, though, Flashpoint Productions doesn't shoot on weekends.
"On weekdays we have to use lookouts to avoid the state rangers. It is daring."
Until recently, the only porn residents of Long Island could lay claim to was a flash of Margot Kidder's nipple in the original Amityville Horror. Now with Amy Fisher and startup company Real Passion Productions, America's Most Phallic Peninsula is asserting itself.
Woody West started Real Passion Productions with an investment of $60,000 and a few ads in Craigslist and a Chinese language newspaper in New York. His mission statement is similar to that of most companies that shoot couples' porn: "to create hardcore adult entertainment a guy can enjoy and share with his wife or girlfriend" and as such there is an utter lack of choking, slapping, tears, flaying, gaping, semen in goblets, running mascara, or Jodi the Pig in the five videos the company has created.
"We shot five scenes in five days in our house in the Southhamptons," West said, and as such the company's output of five scripted videos with titles like "Adult Toy Story," "The Intruder," and "Forgive Me" appear to have been shot by a repertory company.
"We were all in the house together for five days," West said. But there was one casualty: an actress named Jean Laconia left after her first scene, and her roles in the other scenes were divvied up among the other women.
Laconia, aka Jean Jacobs, is a striking brunette who would later shoot for Harmony Films in Las Vegas and for Vivid in Los Angeles, both times claiming that she hadn't been in a porn film before, though her August, 2007 Real Passion Productions outing predated both.
Of the starlets and "Gentlemen Wolves" in RPP's catalog, only a few had done porn before. The women do not look particularly porny, only attractive, and the guys have a certain Wicked Pictures look; average but agreeable, untatted, maybe a little paunchy, none wearing sunglasses. There is a lot of kissing.
The talent had to consent to the mission statement.
"We wanted talent who would appreciate the kind of adult videos we were trying to create," West said. "The men in addition to the phone interviews were also asked to come in for in-person auditions, which were an hour long. The interviews were in two parts: the first part was just talking to them about their personalities, attitudes towards women, what they love about women, how they feel about sex with other men in the room, etc. If we were happy with the first part of their auditions (and there were guys we were not happy with) we continued to the second part of the audition where we checked out their physical abilities, like being comfortable nude in front of people, getting hard on cue, staying hard, and their money shots."
For people accustomed to Porn Valley interiors, and those include talent as well as camera styles, anything shot elsewhere is a nice change of pace, even if the couples' theme is universal; couples' movies tene to be characterized as much by the presence of a script as the lack of the type of extreme elements mentioned above.
The company now hopes to make enough money off the sale of the first five videos to finance a second set. Some of the performers and crew accepted smaller stipends for the initial shooting in order to get a bigger cut of the expected profit and/or a stake in the company.
West, a former film student, learned digital editing on a $200 piece of software. In addition to shooting porn for the first time, he learned to hunt down porn world distributors and DVD replicators, all part of the landscape for nascent porntrepreneurs.
West's product might have more in common with its Valley counterparts than differences so, like any business working within small margins, mini-tempests like the Jean Laconia scandal helped.
"Our traffic spiked when people started following the links from the Vegas stories," West said.
His summation of the past year illustrates the differences between mainstream and porn startups.
"We were still able to create a production company from a mere concept to a website and five titles on the shelves of adult stores in just eight months," West said. "With all the experience we have gained during those eight months, I am very confident that our next set of videos will be even better."
As you know, I write about prostitutes as often as I can and this MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant will allow.
But I am sick of searching Google for images of "prostitutes" when I know so many of my close personal friends list that occupation on their tax returns.
So I am looking for the Official GramPonante.com Prostitute whose image can grace every 2008 post about prostitution. The requirements are as follows:
1. The prostitute must be female and over the age of eighteen 2. The image must be a full shot of the subject in one of the 23-U.N.-sanctioned "hooker poses," including self ass-slapping, alley-leaning, bending to vehicle window, and showing up at hotel room door and saying "Hey, Sweetie." 3. A little nudity is OK, even encouraged 4. The photo(s) must be submitted by the subject herself 5. The subject need not be a prostitute currently but must make a convincing case for it
The Official GramPonante.com Prostitute will receive a text link to her website each time her image is used, as well as universal admiration.
The Desiree Alliance, a volunteer foundation of sex workers and sex worker organizations based in Henderson, NV, will host its annual conference July 16-20 in Chicago.
The conference, titled "Pulling Back the Sheets: Sex, Work, and Social Justice" continues the Desiree Alliance's commitment to sex worker rights and education.
Recent conference subjects included Internet-based marketing of services, the treatment of disabled clients, and How to Handle Arrests.
"In the end, Ange Venus brings the whole thing over the line into a sort of, er, lack of redemption," David Aaron Clark said. "When all four of them get together."
"So why didn't you call it 'One Stroke over the Line, Ange Venus'?" I asked.
"I didn't have the resources at the time," he said.
"It was clear she wanted money," said the performer Katsuni of the woman who sued her to change her name. "She wanted 500 euros each time 'Katsumi' was mentioned."
Once upon a time the name "Katsumi" was readily identifiable with one of the most popular porn stars of the past decade, but the person who had trademarked the name in 2001 lost an appeal to perform under that name or to profit from it.
Instead, she changed one letter. Katsumi became Katsuni in April of 2007.
"I was shocked when I got the letter from the lawyer at home in Paris," Katsuni said. "The woman who sued me never contacted me herself, but her lawyer said I must immediately stop using my name."
After receiving the letter in November of 2006, Katsuni lost her first judgment on January 10, 2007. This picture was taken at the AVN convention in Las Vegas hours after the judgment was handed down in France. Despite being aware of the news, she poses like a trouper.
"Katsumi" is a popular first name for Japanese girls (about as popular as the name "Michelle" for Americans), but in France it is rare. The Miss Katsumi who sued The Artist Formerly Known As Katsumi said that she had been turned down for jobs and had been insulted in public due to the association. Miss Katsumi has refused requests for an interview.
"She also said she received bad phone calls," Katsuni said.
For Katsuni, who began using the "m" name in 2000 and has been a Penthouse model and a multiple AVN award winner since then, changing her name one letter down the alphabet also meant changing several websites. In addition, she forked over 27,000 euros, or about $40k, to satisfy a French judge.
Katsuni said that the plaintiff never furnished proof that the name was detrimental; no letters from employers or phone records were provided.
"I lost the judgment and then I lost the appeal," Katsuni said. "Because someone decided she didn't want the name of a pornostar."
What, then, can prevent someone named Katsuni from taking her to court all over again?
"Nothing," Katsuni said. "At least not in France."
Katsuni's advice to performers entering the porn industry is to "pick a first name and a last name and check that the name isn't taken."
But she admits that might not work, either.
"But that's life," she said.
I asked Katsuni if, when she knew she had to change her name, if she'd thought of going wild and renaming herself Lunchpail or Katsilla or Sussudio.
"No, I had too much trouble so I wanted to keep it very simple."
Katsuni recently began dancing in the United States with a gig at San Francisco's Crazy Horse. She normally spends most of the year in France but will be returning to the U.S. for most of February to shoot Pirates 2.
Close Personal Friend Adrianna Nicole was walking around the AVN Expo and I thought, "She looks great in color, but what does she look like in black and white?"
The answer came today when I received an advanced screener of Carlos Batts' Young Hollywood. I'll write a review later, but it was important the world had a sneak peek at one of the signature images of the film.
With my jaw-dropping successes, more and more I find my signature and scintillating style copied and watered down by imitators (mostly in Hungarian factories). That is why I am sensitive to matters of intellectual piracy and have endeavored to distance myself from AVN's long-running "Fresh off the Bus" feature, reasoning that since Porn Valley's Orange Line is a series of articulated vehicles travelling on dedicated busways much more suited to conveying new porn talent to agencies like that owned by Lori Lust, a new title would be more appropriate.
Lori Lust is a performer originally from Michigan whose husband, Craig, writes great press releases about the model agency they own together.
Twenty female models were just added today at www.lorilustagency.com . Craig Stevens stated “there will be another ten more girls added next week, we’re growing like a weed”. But what is amazing is almost every model is new and has never shot before, and many are under 22 years of age.
Amaya Davis, above, "Can easily do the little school girl look," says Craig. Maybe my own experience with Michigan schools is limited to Freaks And Geeks and The Big Chill, but this woman doesn't scream "schoolgirl" to me. Then again, why would I want to get into situations where someone was screaming "schoolgirl" at me?
Cece Sinclaire is my favorite because she seems a little radiated. "She does Anal AND DP!" yells Craig. In general, I find that once someone goes Anal, double penetration is the toaster that comes free with the bank account. But that might just be people I know.
Here's Michelle Mars, 28. "Great body; not one scar or tattoo," says Craig, adding: "Nice boobs."
The Leading Lady of the Lubed Labe is leaving to pursue perfumery. To my knowledge, no one has talked about her new career choice, focusing only on Ms. Jameson's method of jettisoning the old one. Here's the shtick I'll use when I cross the picket line and talk about Porn Valley on Leno:
Directions for Use
1. Apply across breasts, in eye, in hair, on small of back. If taken vaginally, squeeze out slowly into champagne cup and share with Kami Andrews. 2. Spray, take nap, eat meal, wait six hours, spray again. 3. If sprayed in mouth, spit. If sprayed in mouth and no camera is present and if married, swallow.
Q. Is that the perfume that makes you come on your Wheaties? A. No, that's Bruce Jenna.
Top Ten Alternate Titles for the Jenna Jameson Fragrance
A retarded man is stalking the transgendered prostitutes, or "transvestitutes", of Atlanta and posting YouTube videos of them.
Steve Gower is a director of the Midtown Ponce Security Alliance (MPSA), a member-funded community policing organization that regularly tails prostitutes in this residential section of Atlanta. It is difficult to know who to root for in this video, in which an Elmer Fudd soundalike taunts bedraggled prostitutes clacking up and down the quiet streets of his neighborhood.
The attention Gower pays his quarry and the throbbing house soundtrack accompanying the video indicates an affinity for his subject.
Gower got into the neighborhood watch game when his pot smoking was interrupted by a car theft. He admits that he just wants to shift the prosties a few streets away.
AVN Wrap-up: I will never spread my commentary on the 2008 AEE again
Each January I spend a week in Las Vegas for both the Consumer Electronics Show and the AVN Expo. The big hits at CES this year were the Taser holster/mp3 player and a software program that allows users to read others’ text messages on a computer. But nothing compares to "I will never spread my legs in this industry again."
Read the exhaustive report after the gap.
Once again, I was very impressed with the lunches served to the press (sponsored by Verizon) but am dubious about the backpack I received from Toshiba HD-DVD. Not only did the one I received last year begin falling apart in June, but HD-DVD is now dead in the water.
CES was held in several buildings across Las Vegas, not only in the Sands/Venetian complex but also at the Las Vegas Convention Center. It was the latter venue that was most crowded and, because AVN would also be held at the Sands on an overlapping Wednesday and Thursday, I visited the LVCC on Monday and Tuesday and wandered over to the much more compact, sedate, and controlled Sands/Venetian area Wednesday, where there was better access to lunch and the press room did not look like a post-Katrina Superdome.
But you’re not here to hear about CES.
What is instructive to remember, though, is that the AVN show was once part of CES. It might seem odd now, as electronic products are a very small portion of the adult industry, but the AVN Expo used to be held in a corner of one of CES’ many rented halls. When that changed, AVN grew and CES attendees became embittered, because they would much rather see half-naked women in high heels than the latest in South Korean metric screws.
To AVN’s credit, its own coverage of the show skimped on hyperbole. There were no stories about the “biggest Expo ever”. Numbers have not been released yet, but it was clear to the naked eye that there were fewer people attending the Expo than in previous years. This made for a more enjoyable trade show, as there was easier access to everything from the performers to the bathrooms to the food.
And numbers were not down so far that the event ceased to be exciting and crowded.
In terms of companies represented at the Expo, there was not a noticeable drop from last year. It seems that the companies most in need of maintaining a strong presence at the Expo, like Wicked, Vivid, Digital Playground, Hustler, Adam & Eve, and Evil Angel, kept their booths in the same place. If any of them had been gone, people would have thought something was up.
“Put it this way,” an Evil Angel employee told me, “no one makes money from being here. But we’ve got got be here.”
Smaller companies literally on the fringes of the Expo floor did well with foot traffic, such as Juicy Entertainment, as did companies with gimmicks, like classic porn company VCX, which posed its models on a ’68 Camaro.
The Naughty America booth, as always, was the most striking with its multiple backdrops. Upload producer Sex Z Pictures continued with its open-ended booth design which created confusion as people mistakenly walked in and out of it. It looked less like a studio booth (there were no screens playing its movies) than it did an improvised business area.
Unlike previous years, the space of the Expo floor was managed more efficiently. Whereas previously there were large chunks of open space, this year the dividing curtains were pulled up almost to the back of Andrew Blake’s booth.
Expo newcomer Abby Winters received a lot of attention with the company’s AstroTurf motif, with the barefoot Aussies clamoring over each other in cotton underthings with an innocence belying the horrible secrets detailed in the comments of this post.
As always, the AVN Expo was a chance for people who’d been talking by e-mail and telephone all year to meet face to face and, based on looking each other over, strike or not strike business deals.
In that way Las Vegas in January becomes a much-needed boost of adrenaline for industry players on the verge of being forgotten. For them, they need to come to the AVN show so that people will remember they’re alive.
“I just need to show my face in a few places so nobody thinks I’m selling dishwashers somewhere,” one director told me, even though he would be a better dishwasher salesman than porn director, in my opinion.
For others, Vegas is nothing more than a yearly reunion in a familiar place with a captive audience; if everyone is going to be in the same casino complex, it’s much easier to get them in the same room than if you’re trying to collect them in the San Fernando Valley.
Otto Bauer became the Man in America for a Dutch hardcore company, several independent producers switched distributors, a number of attendees were hoodwinked into a free bus ride to a Pahrrump-area brothel and then told that the hookers were extra, and a surprising number of people told me they’d picked up products at the unlikeliest booth of all: a company selling 400-threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets.
The most thought-provoking booth was that of the West Las Vegas Libertarian party.
“Everyone tells me that the Republicans should be kicked out,” the rep said, “and that the Democrats were better for the porn industry. But just as many, if not more, lawsuits were brought against the adult business during the Clinton administration than in Bush I or II.
“And maybe Jenna says she supports Hillary, but would Hillary ever support Jenna?”
Press
For the past several years press concerns have been handled by several organizations. Home Entertainment Events, which actually owns the Adult Entertainment Expo, takes care of press registration for the Expo.
“A woman came in from some scrapbooking publication in Sandy, Utah,” said HEE’s Sean Devlin. “And she wasn’t pre-registered but she showed us her publication’s website with her byline and picture, and she told us that our industry was on top of technology and so on, and that today’s scrapbooks employ technology, so we started registering her, despite misgivings about how she could cover us. She started looking around at the posters in the press room and she said, ‘You have a lot of porn in this room,’ and we said, ‘Well, it is a porn convention’ and she got very red and told us she thought we were CES. She ripped off her bracelet and demanded we take her out of our database and then ran out of the room.”
How this woman walked the hundred yards from the entrance of the hall to the press room without figuring out there was something seriously porny going on says a lot about Utah.
Sue Procko PR handles both red carpet access and show tickets for press, so any media representative who wants to visit the Expo, get on the red carpet and go to the AVN Awards needs to register three times. This aspect of the system is seriously flawed, but within its constraints the staffs of both companies were very efficient dealing with multiple requests from freelancers, even brilliant ones, like me.
Among Procko’s other clients is Anchor Bay, which re-releases horror classics like “Dawn of the Dead”, “The Evil Dead”, and “Phantasm”.
“We’re still looking for that great crossover between Angus Scrimm and the AVN Expo,” said Procko’s Tim Williams.
My advice to potential press attendees of this series of events is to never trust that an AVN employee will make the call for you. AVN employees are not only overworked and overstressed, but also it is not in their best interest to help you. A colleague thought that it would be a good idea to go through a high-ranking AVN employee to get show passes and watched his tickets evaporate the day of the show.
AVN v. XBiz
Competing adult trade puiblication XBiz has been covering the AVN show for years, and this year sent its largest contingent ever to Las Vegas. The difference between the two staffs was striking: I never saw an XBiz staffer not dressed well, whereas many AVN employees walked the floor or attended dinners in t-shirts, jeans, and ball caps.
A visitor from another profession would conclude that the XBiz kids were all go-getters and that the AVN staff were slackers, but this is porn, an industry founded on the principal of Clothes Don’t Matter. Still, it was impossible to look at the two staffs and not think of a Before and After photo.
XBiz has for the past two years accelerated its acquisition of properties that are more similar than different from those AVN possesses. While next month’s XBiz Awards does not have nearly the number of nominations AVN announces, its awards are getting bulkier in number and also covering more of the same ground. It sponsors the novelty show LoveLA in Los Angeles at the end of the month (this is a correction from an earlier post in which I said XBiz was launching this show) and, like its rival, has a magazine each for the video and Internet sides of the adult business.
In a growth cycle marked less by invention than copying AVN’s ideas and executing them better but with less of AVN’s charming fandom, XBiz’ biggest innovation this past year was its Erotic Film Festival, something AVN has never attempted and which was generally well received. Its most egregious copycatting was the launch of a website called Adult Video Index, or AVI. Sure AVN doesn’t have a copyright on the term “Adult Video”, but AVI seems grasping.
XBiz engineered its presence at the AVN show by donating banner space on its site. It would be interesting if AVN covers next month’s XBiz Forum and Awards with the same zeal XBiz displayed last week.
Parties
I lost my voice early this week from spending too much time at parties that were loud. Having been born already, I never understood the fascination of spending too much time squeezing through sweaty obstacles. I wear a suit, I look good; why do I want to emerge from a party with your body spray and eyeliner all over it?
The only party I attended of this nature this year was XBiz’ Players’ Ball (which, naturally, was once an AVN staple) at the Empire Ballroom. I hung out in the VIP room with people dressed as pimps like historical interpreters. Even pimps don’t dress like pimps.
The best part of the party was the means by which I got there. Best Retail Site winner SugarDVD rented the largest vehicle in Las Vegas short of a plane. Named The Intimidator, the Ford vehicle held 22 people in slightly cramped comfort. It is the type of vehicle to overwhelm and terrify enemies.
Do you know how to tell people in rented limousines versus people in limousines they own? People in rented limousines don’t drive down The Strip screaming “I’m so wasted!”
Business-related parties I attended included a Digital Playground fete at which I met Adrianna Lynn and was seated next to Stoya. Both women are great fun, but I have to give the edge to Stoya because she stole my camera when I visited other tables and made me some memorable shots. I feel like the hobbyists who first shot Bettie Page when I downloaded the photos.
On Wednesday I ate with Fleshbot. Since its employees live in different parts of the country we rarely see each other. This trip, in that it also included staffers from Gawker Media sites like Jezebel, Defamer, and Gizmodo, featured the biggest collection of my coworkers I have ever met. Our main discussion was about what would be this year’s “Dirtpipe Milkshakes”.
Later I attended an Adam & Eve dinner at which I sat next to Jamye Waxman and across the table from Ira Levine and Nina Hartley. I wish conversations like this on my dearest friends. At one point Playboy Radio’s Farrell Hirsch, who had lost his voice too, leaned over with a note that read: “Shouldn’t Nina be required at every party?”
Nina told me that my dimples wouldn’t go away if I became fat. This is why the world has a crush on her. She also told us how, at conventions, she gives everyone ten seconds of undivided attention.
The next night I went to Morton’s Steakhouse with Harmony Films. It was the best steak I ever ate, save for the cow I hunted, killed, and cooked myself during my vision quest. If Harmony’s Gazzman were American, he would be a national treasure. Since he is Scottish, I think I’ll have to check the CIA’s field book but I’m pretty sure he’s my enemy.
I couldn’t make it to Tera Patrick’s or Jenna Jameson’s party, was detained on the way to Nikki Benz’ party, and was not invited to Wicked’s and AVN’s parties. Vivid-steve hoodwinked (my words, not anyone else’s) Fleshbot into “sponsoring” their party, but I did not attend. I was not invited to a Village Voice party because I’m not cool enough.
I stopped in at a number of other parties and I wish I could have stayed, but the meter was running.
Finally, an annual Venetian suite party hosted by a mysterious cabal was my final stop of the convention. It was a fitting way to cap a week of aberrant behavior. People drifted in and out. Sunny Lane, a gloriously naked Satine Phoenix (she wasn’t nude – she was naked), Abby Ehmann, whom I sent sobbing from the room, Joe Gallant, who was there and then he wasn’t, Jamye Waxman, who had to catch a plane and I cursed the plane, a lot of sexy checkout girls from Albertson’s, and Ron Jeremy, who interrupted a conversation I was having in the only way he knew how, were just a few of the characters.
But the only thing I found shocking was this: in response to not finding herself on the guest list, a colleague of mine called security. I would have taken the little “press” card out of my hatband and mashed it into the carpet in disgust, but instead I went back into the party and had, like, ten more drinks.
People
I especially enjoyed my conversations with Adrianna Lynn, Stoya, Nina and Ira, Jamye, and the delightful Alix Lakehurst. I enjoyed, despite everything, meeting the Abby Winters girls and Jean Laconia, or whatever her name is. Gazzman and his partner Dave West are people to watch, even in PAL format. It is always great to see Lorelei Lee and the people in her orbit, like Bobbi Starr, Adrianna Nicole, Madison Young, and Annette Schwarz. I also enjoyed the comic stylings of Porno Jim and once again didn’t talk to his wife, Dicey, enough. I talked with Sasha Grey and Kimberly Kane outside of a bathroom, because that was all G-d had ordained. Aiden Starr couldn’t come to the final party, despite her dress, and that ensaddened me, but at least I met Hillary Scott’s mom at the dollar slots, and I'm hoping Gia Paloma and Tommy Pistol will let me name their child Amerigo Ponante the Destroyer.
The only person who refused a photo was Matt Zane. I asked him if he would wave to me, while suspended from hooks, as if I was a guest at his barbecue.
"No, I won't do that," he said, and somehow managed to twist away. Some people have standards.
The Show
A lot of industry people like to say they don’t and won’t attend the AVN Awards, but I always enjoy myself. This year (again, with no official figures) saw the highest attendance for a show more streamlined than in years past, and with some great hosting from Greg Fitzsimmons and Tera Patrick.
If I am correct, this was not actually the 25th annual awards but actually the 25th anniversary of AVN. Next year will be the 25th annual awards. Regardless, few chose to correct this and as such the show could have done better to hype its history. While there were a few Best Of clips, they were not comprehensive. What would have been interesting is something like an onstage reunion of the “Scoundrels” cast from the first awards, or a group picture with the last several years’ worth of Best New Starlets and Male and Female Performers of the Year.
Either due to a lack of organization or the inadvisability of a porn star showing his or her age, this will never happen. Jenna Jameson
Having met Jenna only three times, I was impressed with how nice a person she seemed. Distancing herself from porn the way she is doing, but making her announcement of never again spreading her legs for the porn industry at that industry’s biggest function shows how hopelessly tied to that industry she is. But cut her some slack. The adult industry made her, but doesn’t own her.
A reader writes:
“I watched the clip and don't understand the hoopla. Yes, she was inelegant and dismissive and perhaps could have been more articulate, but at the end of the day she's a porn star. Regardless, the crowd that sat there snacking eagerly on finger foods and drinking champagne as they waited to find out who won Best Anal expected something more from their creation and lashed out when they didn't get it. The industry media that trashed her for the last year erupted when they weren't shown more respect from the girl who would be nothing without them. (They should have been thankful that she gave them a moment of entertainment during the never-ending show.) How can Jenna ever thank them enough for letting her suck cock in the adult industry? Seems only sucking more cock will do. Just like the mainstream, the adult industry will never see her as anything more than a whore. And we wonder why she wants out?”
Rumors and blind items
I heard that the entity who said to a reviewer that “There’s an army of people who like my movies” is also going to be out of a job next month. I heard this rumor via a person who has been known to present wishful thinking as fact, so I am, as ever, dubious that the Right Thing will happen.
A number of companies are royally regretting their decision to release exclusively on HD-DVD versus Blu-Ray. If it’s any consolation, porn on either format looks like ass. Hard to appreciate the deeper blacks on your MRSA patch.
I heard the AVN show got/is being sold to HotMovies. No confirmations.
I heard the AVN Expo is moving to Los Angeles. No confirmations and I hope that never happens. If it does and AVN starts poaching former XBiz employees, the power has shifted.
While Playboy broadcasts the red carpet, Showtime filmed the AVN Awards. Whether or not this type of show can ever be aired is a question no one at Showtime is answering. They did very little to promote Vivid’s “Debbie Does Dallas” miniseries and, with no official releases touting their involvement (it should have been all over the news for the past month), I doubt anything significant will happen. AVN deserves a more involved broadcast partner.
The Prime of Miss Jean Jacobs or: Would I lie to you, Honey? or: De Jean Vu
The reason that there is no Oscar presented for Best New Starlet is because novelty is not as important in Hollywood as it is in Porn Valley. in fact, Hollywood prizes known quantities more than untested talent.
That doesn't mean people wouldn't rush to buy movies with Penny Flame in them (I would, if I had to pay for such things), but the idea of being the first to commit to film some new porn talent is one of the few things in the adult industry that is still looked on with wonder and awe.
Such was the feeling I had when I and a few other gentlemen thought we were witnessing the first scene ever by an 18-year-old named Jean.
Read more after the gap.
Since I work in the media I am lied to all the time. This is a story of my trying to not pass on those lies to you.
Some people lie so much that I am safe in the knowledge that the opposite of everything they say is true. This applies to certain porn publicists like Jeff Mullen. When I run his press releases, they come with disclaimers. He is OK with that (and he has no choice but to be) because he believes that all publicity is good publicity. Also, he believes that readers of other porn news sites are stupid enough to believe him, and he doesn't worry about the five people who read this site.
After the director Jennifer James lied to me - repeatedly - in a story I wrote for XBiz, I began interviews with porn people by saying, "I will not repeat off the record information, but don't lie to me. If there is something you don't want to talk about, let me know and I will not press it. You are fascinating enough, and my words are scintillating enough, that together we can work around that unpleasantness without drawing attention to it. Just don't lie to me or I will make sure people know it."
Most of the lying in porn, and in mainstream entertainment, is of the self-deluding variety. "I'm going back to school," "I can maintain a relationship with someone not involved in pornography," "People respect and are not creeped out by you if you give them teddy bears," or "I use cocaine recreationally" are all examples of self-deluding falsehoods, and I cut them slack.
I, for one, say that I am America's Beloved Porn Journalist when I am actually the World's Beloved Porn Journalist.
Then there are business-related lies, such as sales charts of trade magazines, the existence of Abby Winters or Simon Wolf, or our deeply-buried lede of the day, the feigned inexperience of Jean Jacobs, aka Jean Laconia.
I met Jean Laconia last week on a small shoot run by Porn Week and Harmony Films. She told everyone assembled that she would be shooting a movie for Vivid this week but that the scene she was shooting in a small room at the Treasure Island Hotel and Casino - our special scene - was to be her first porn film ever.
"If there's something you don't want to say, just let me know, rather than lying," I said to her at the bar. "Just say, 'Gram, I don't want to talk about that'. Is this your first porn scene?"
"Yes," she said.
I found Laconia charming and sexy and dirty beyond her years. She said things to Dave West's camera that seemed characteristic of someone who'd gone to the L.A. Direct Models' School of Intensive Pornology.
Laconia (as camera zooms in on her parts): Do you like this? West: Yes Laconia: Do you love it? West: Is this my audition now?
Laconia said she was in Vegas for the first time. A stripper from Connecticut, Laconia said she worked at a club in Oxford, MA. She got the name "Laconia" from her street. She can speak Romanian and she likes Jagermeister.
She lamented that she had not been told how expensive Las Vegas was, and Gazzman said that at least he would pay her in cash. He also had the following helpful tips we should all employ:
"It's good when you shake your tits," he said in a Scottish brogue, and, "It's good when you bring your legs back as well."
Laconia had been booked for the Harmony solo shoot by Fox Modeling, a local talent broker. Knowing that she was shooting for Vivid in a few days, I wondered if it was for their Brand New Faces line, which has its performers sign a quasi-legal affidavit confirming they'd never performed on camera before.
In an intervierw with Brand New Faces director B. Skow, he told me that once or twice he had been able to find out at the last minute that women saying they'd never performed before in fact had. "We're putting together a 'Caught' section on the DVDs and website," he said, "for people we catch in a lie."
When Laconia shot for Brand New Faces on Monday she used the name Jean Jacobs. Shortly after I wrote a story on Fleshbot (in which I noted my suspicion about Laconia/Jacobs never performing before), I received a letter from Woody West, the partner of a Connecticut company called Real Passion Productions. He said that Laconia had shot both solo and lesbian scenes for them before and had been paid to do so. He also provided a link to her promotional work for a production called Adult Toy Story.
"We shy away from calling what we do 'couples' movies'," West (no relation to Harmony's Dave) said. "But it's hardcore that we think women will be comfortable watching."
Indeed, Laconia talked a pretty hardcore game.
Working with a vibrator, she said all the right things for the audience assembled. "I've got a pretty small pussy so let's see how it goes. That's kinda big," she said, looking right at me.
Laconia turned 18 in April of last year and, as everyone knows, no one thinks sexually until it is legal for them to do so. How did she get the lingo down in just eight months?
The one loophole in Brand New Faces' contract is if a woman has never done a scene with a man before. So in this case Laconia/Jacobs might actually be paid for the Vivid scene she did.
Still, as you can see by these pictures, Jean will have no trouble getting work. Why she had to lie - and I ask this of any person in porn, where the truth is almost always more compelling - is a mystery.
Number of subscriptions to BurningAngel.com Joanna Angel gave to a fan who brought her some cold medicine: 1 Number of times Eon McKai was overheard saying "I'm sorry my work confuses you": 3 Number of times Performer of the Year Sasha Grey said "fucking" to CBS' Bill Geiss: 2 Number of seconds it took: 2 Estimated airings this 20-second interview will receive on CBS: 0 Number of terrible, wonderful things I want to do to Unsung Starlet Gianna: 35 Suite number of the party at which Satine Phoenix was naked: 211 Temperature of that room, in fahrenheit degrees: 102 Number of fans in wheelchairs spotted at the AVN Expo: 46 Number of dwarves, midgets, and assorted little people: 23 Number of morbidly obese: 8 Number of these who were also in wheelchairs: 2 Percentage of AVN Awards I agreed with: 21 Face value of AVN Awards tickets being scalped in Mandalay Bay Events Center: $212 Scalped value: $150 Number of sales of scalped tickets I witnessed: 4 Times Ann Marie flashed me: 3 Number of pictures I was able to get of this: 0 Pieces of tape on Stoya's nipples: 4 Jagermeisters consumed by me between Wednesday and Sunday morning: 36 Things I did over the week that I now consider "inappropriate": 4 Percentage of these that occured on Sunday morning: 100 Number of times I met Abby Winters: 0 Number of times I met Mr. Skin: 1 Number of people who walked the red carpet: 203 Number of times Eva Angelina walked the red carpet: 2 Price, in dollars, to amply feed four grown men at the Ellis Island Casino: 42 Price for same group at the Grand Lux Cafe: 213 Price of one dinner at Morton's Steak House: 183 Height, in feet, of Aiden Starr: 5 Feet from the ground at which a certain part of me tops off: 5 Number of "circle bar"s in Las Vegas that are actually circles: 0 Number of interview requests turned down by Robin Leach at the red carpet: 3 Number of times Leach's photographer asked Jenna Jameson what her name was: 2 Bodyguards from Detroit hired by Digital Playground: 3 Number of AVN awards won this year by people with whom I've had feuds: 0 Rank of seashell as shape of pasties on display: 1 Number of times I was refused a posed photograph: 1 Number of times it was Matt Zane who refused it: 1 Age, in months, of Jean Laconia, performing her first scene (for Gazzman and Dave West) on camera: 220 Amount of years I assumed she'd been doing porn, what with her filthy mouth: 5-10 Increase of awards, in percentage, since last year: 0 Increase of awards, in percentage, since 1984: 700 More years required until the actual 25th anniversary of the AVN Awards, as opposed to the 25th anniversary of AVN: 1 Order, in Google entries, of Britney Spears, Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, Jesse Jane, Jamie Lynn Spears, and Stormy Daniels: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Amount of hours I slept during the week of CES and AVN: 14 Amount of hours I slept the night I returned home: 14
Jenna Jameson and the future of the porn superstar
When the one person who stands a chance of refuting the belief that porn stars are interchangeable and anonymous says, "I'll never spread my legs in this industry ever again," you know something is broken.
That it was Jenna Jameson who said this, sounding a little bitter but no more incoherent than anyone else on the stage at the 25th annual AVN Awards, means something. Where others have said this and come back to the porn business for want of money, ejection of a boyfriend, or simple change of heart, Jameson means it.
Read more after the gap.
Jameson has had a tumultuous couple of years. In no particular order, she authored (with ghostwriter Neil Strauss) "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star", sold ClubJenna to Playboy, had a miscarriage, broke up with husband Jay Grdina (who still runs her eponymous company), hooked up with fighter Tito Ortiz, began appearing in mainstream gossip blogs and, most famously, underwent a series of surgeries that have radically altered her appearance.
Like Tera Patrick, Stormy Daniels, and Jesse Jane, each of whom has a chance at Jameson's name recognition, Jameson's relationship with the porn industry runs hot and cold. Each owes her fame to porn, but each has aspirations beyond it. Finally, each embraces what she hopes will be her porn past with varying degrees of tightness.
After Jameson vented, Daniels accepted the Jameson Crossover Star of the Year award with all the graciousness one could expect. "I plan to be spreading my legs for the porn industry for some time," Daniels said.
Wicked made Jameson an icon in the 1990s. Daniels' achievement with Wicked is even greater, as she writes and directs her own movies and has essentially set up her own imprint within the company. Jane's name is copyrighted by Digital Playground, which licenses her out to Playboy for hosting duties, and Tera Patrick, whose celebrated break from Digital Playground is the reason many of the company's new starlets have registered trademarks as names, is the best set-up of all, with her own company and a club appearance fee that rivals that of many celebrities.
But they are all eyeing the next move, and the extent to which that move succeeds depends on the level of comfort which exists between them and their porn careers.
Sadly, Jameson's bitterness about the porn industry is probably a result of the ground she has broken in making "former porn star" an acceptable title in mainstream media. She has taken the brunt of the scrutiny from that front as well as the inevitable ridicule that goes hand in hand with the uneasy titillation porn provides.
Patrick and Daniels have watched this and learned from it; their public personae and porn choices are much more controlled as a result.
Porn awards-granting organizations shouldn't present "crossover star" honors because it is a tacit devaluing of what porn is. If anything, they should make a crossover TO porn award for people like Amy Fisher and Dave Navarro.
But if there has to be a mainstream crossover award, it is appropriate it be named after Jameson. After Saturday's valedictory speech, however, it seems like she doesn't feel honored by it. It is up to her successors to figure out if there is anywhere to go from here.
I have nothing to complain about living in Los Angeles. The Mexican food is less expensive and more plentiful than it was in Bogue Chitto, driving isn't as bad as people like to say it is, and I can watch Cloverfield with Korean subtitles.
