Dear Readers,

Thanks for an excellent year; I always tell people you're pretty awesome.

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 31, 2007 | 4 Comments Links to this post

People tell me they often read the articles accompanying the pictures on this site, but I think they're lying.

Here, then, are a few dozen photographs chronicling our lives together this year, including this snap of Cousin Stevie that provides solid proof that pornography is a job - a fun job - but a job nonetheless.

See the gallery here.

Previously: Gram Ponante announces the Oscars of Porn

Labels: fotos, reviews

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 31, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I think I have seen this scene between Dana Vespolie and Mark Ashley compiled in, like, 10,000 movies.

I was talking with someone the other day about how porn directors and talent by and large do not fight to own their own content or at the very least seek residuals.

It might have something to do with the fact that people don't think of making money in the future on something they might find shameful today. But if Ashton Kutcher is still making money on "Butterfly Effect", Dana Vespoli should get a cut of every movie this scene shows up in.

(I encountered this scene the other day in a movie called something like Anal Addicts 5, but Pat Myne's X-Rated is probably the best value.)



Previously: Dana Vespoli from 2004 - just because

Labels: business, dana vespoli

posted by Gram the Man at Saturday, December 29, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

You will win nothing but my respect. I also have an old PS2 that I can't seem to get rid of.

Previously: Pussy Party 21 caption contest

Labels: contest, dvd, steven st croix

posted by Gram the Man at Saturday, December 29, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

During a brief ceremony at the Lamplighter Restaurant this morning, the vaunted National Institutes of Pornographic And Pornotextual Arts changed the name of its annual awards from the Also-Rannies to its current title, the Excellence in Adult and/or Erotic Entertainment Honors. A simple nine-foot statue was wheeled across the parking lot.

"That looks like my Uncle Oscar!" someone exclaimed. "He is nine feet tall and also made of gold! You see, he was an alchemist and suffered from gigantism."

From that simple outburst (quickly repressed by police and clergy), a tradition was born.

Read the list of "The Oscars of Porn" after the gap.



"I believe in America," Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante said at the quiet ceremony. "I believe that everyone should have his or her own adult awards show. And we are quickly reaching a point where the ratio of Americans to adult awards shows is 1:1."

Attendees wept and prayed as the awards were announced over strong cocktails and light salads. The spontaneous nature of the event kept any winner from attending, so in that way the ceremony was much like established awards shows such as the Adultcon Awards, the Temptation Awards, the FOXE awards, and the XRCOs.


Quintessence Award
Dirty Harry
"This award is presented to the person or persons who best represent the public's perception of adult entertainment. Dirty Harry often plays an incestuous scumbag who pimps out his daughter or seeks out women to beat him up. Harry truly is Dirty, and a scene in which he does not end up shrieking at someone or sobbing in his despair is uncharacteristic. God Bless You, Dirty Harry."

Self-Lubricating Arriviste
Sindee Jennings
"As R.E.M. said, 'Everybody squirts sometime', but Sindee Jennings squirts all the time. She squirts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and if she lived in London, she'd squirt for tea. She might even squirt tea. And unlike other squirters who have taught themselves how, Jennings' squirting is wild and untamed, as if ordained by God. It does not feel forced, and its consistency coats, soothes, and relieves. She is also from Texas, where my people live."

Sniffer Made Good
Dave Navarro
"Navarro circled closer and closer to porn until people started saying 'Red Hot Chili Who?' 'Jane's What?' While industry insiders might say that he has not paid his dues, remember that industry insiders rarely pay their cable bills. We look forward to a day when Navarro reaches 25,000 posts on porn chatboards like every other loser."

Best Intentional Porn Comedy
Spunk'd
"Porn should be funny, and often is. Sometimes it seems people bend over backwards to siphon all the fun out of it. But this ensemble comedy starring Nick Manning and a dozen or so others achieves the lofty purpose of making a porn movie funny on purpose."

Best Unintentional Porn Comedy
Debbie Loves Dallas
"A textbook case of reach exceeding grasp. Both the movie and its director (and we made sure to verify this beforehand) had no intention of being so abysmally, unintentionally hilarious."

Best Celebrity Sex Tape
Amy Fisher Caught on Tape
"A certified MILF who clings to her 'Long Island Lolita' roots, Amy Fisher, if I were a porn fortune cookie, would be 'Welcome at any gathering'. Without a doubt the best sex tape this year, because all the others were made to be watched by only a few people at most. This one was made for public consumption, even if half of the parties involved say it wasn't."

Concerted Effort
Jenny Hendrix
"As Pink Floyd said, 'I've got the obligatory Hendrix sperm.' Hendrix works wicked hard. She has three phones working overtime. She hasn't taken a break since July. She makes drinks for people on set. She works well with others. She's thrifty, clean, and reverent. I would definitely recommend her for employment, a home loan, or cabinet position (preferably Reverse Cowgirl Secretary)."

Male Performer Who Knows What Time It Is
Nick Manning
"For men who watch porn, watching other men is difficult, even impossible. And since no one will pony up for a greenscreen anytime this decade (despite porn being on the cutting edge of technology and all), the most we can hope for is that the male talent is entertaining. Nick Manning (close runner-up: Steven St. Croix) shows the perfect combination of acting and performing chops as well as a solid sense of where the male porn performer is in the firmament. He only steals scenes when there are no women in them. He doesn't overtalk, he shares the spotlight. And when allowed to do his thing, he displays the most sardonic character possible who still gets to 'wreck!' women onscreen. No one has a problem with Jack Nicholson playing the same character in every movie, so Manning should get an award, too."

The Kami Andrews Wish You Were Here Award
Lorelei Lee
"Who knows if she will be back, but Lorelei Lee is gone now, and we miss her."

Tony Conigliaro Award
Nicki Hunter
"This award, like its baseball counterpart, goes to the person who overcame adversity in style. Nicki Hunter was diagnosed with lymphoma one year ago and has returned to the adult business with equal parts vengeance and class. Congratulations also to the various fans and coworkers who got put personal gain aside to help out their friend."

Best Porn Set
(tie)
Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party (all)
Barely Legal 75
"Usually I only spend a few hours in rooms full of naked women. Something changes when I'm there all day, as if I remember that there is an intrinsic value in spending the day with a room full of naked women. I feel like Caligula without the parts falling off. And Cousin Stevie and Erica Mclean run a very smooth, casual operation."

Best Logline
Cuckold - Chatsworth Pictures
"Sometimes the only thing wrong with your wife is you."


Best Inevitable Title
She Is Half My Age - Brandon Iron
"Porn has always been about older men and younger women. It seems more like Sociology class to watch people the same age having sex (that's why I stayed in college so long). This movie puts a name on the giddy joy one feels when discovering that $900 and an agent's fee can buy you Faye Valentine."

Biggest Comeback (Where "biggest" is the shortest intervening time between announcemment of retirement and retraction of retirement)
(tie)
Luke Ford
Kurt Lockwood
Belladonna
"Luke Ford announced he was leaving the porn industry yet continues to show up at porn events, Kurt Lockwood announced his retirement, paternity, and a move to Spain in September and returned to work in October, and Belladonna announced her retirement from performing and three weeks later announced her retirement from her retirement. Needless to say, some comebacks are more welcome than others."

Most Satisfying Movie
Naughty Flipside
"When you get right down to it, the most effective porn format ever is the gonzo, in which setups are kept to a minimum and sex scenes get underway quickly. The scripted feature may showcase other talents of the cast and crew, but those are always exercises in diminishing returns, no matter how well-intended. Naughty Flipside Volume One presents the perfect combination of quick, fantastical setups followed by the lighthearted inevitabilities of Dana DeArmond, Sasha Grey, Adrianna Nicole, and Pinky Lee."


Ambition without Embarrassment Award
Upload
"Upload is a great movie. More than that, it is a movie that has high ideals. (Almost) nothing is worse than a movie that shows more of its creators' limitations than its creators' intentions, and this movie's intentions weren't grounded by budget, talent, or cast; every element shot for the sky. Also, there was sex in it."

National Institutes of Pornographic and Pornotextual Arts Director of the Year Award
Jim Powers
"Jim Powers is an effective porn director because he never forgets why the audience is there, so he keeps extraneous things like plot and guys' faces to a minimum. Despite this, he works so well within the limitations of the form that each movie is memorable and lightly-to-moderately sprayed with his own cultural references and cynical sense of humor. Watching a Jim Powers movie is the essence of a guilty pleasure, because you really do feel intellectually and spiritually ashamed afterwards. He's a genius."

Quote of the Year
Alex Sanders to Julie Night, Upload
"Get it wet or I'll stick it in you dry."

Previously: Gram Ponante announces Also-Rannies

Labels: "eli cross", "nicki hunter", adrianna nicole, awards, directors, eva angelina, jenny hendrix, jim powers, kurt lockwood, lorelei lee, Nick Manning, pinky lee, sasha grey, sindee jennings, steven st croix, steveporn

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, December 28, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Syren Couture, designer of this ass-free pant, is co-sponsor (with Stockroom.com) of tomorrow's West Coast Fetish Ball at Hollywood's Henry Fonda Theatre.

Henry Fonda, star of such films as "The Grapes of Wrath" and "On Golden Pond", would probably have choked on his Lifesavers and terrorized his childrten more had he known such an event would be held at a venue bearing his name, but if ever there's a cop beating a guy, chances are he's probably wearing leather.

Masuimi Max and Emily Marilyn will co-host the Ball, with a special appearance by anguished performance artist (that's redundant) The White Bunny.

Previously: April Flores: Diva; Fetish Ball; Prod of the O.C.: eXtreme Restraints
See also: Syren Latex, Stockroom

Labels: BDSM, events, fetish, masuimi max

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, December 27, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

Close Personal Friend ^TM Tera Patrick displays one of several jewel-encrusted Hello Kitty doodads she received from fans for Christmas.

"I even have a Hello Kitty toaster," she said.

Patrick is co-hosting the 25th annual AVN Awards on January 12. I asked her how she was preparing.

"I hike Nichols Canyon early in the morning," she said. "Before breakfast, so it's more of a workout."

"I mean prepare for the AVN show," I said.

Something else happened and we were distracted. Such are my journalistic instincts that I let the conversation wander. Next thing you know, we were talking abut Led Zeppelin.

"Jason (Bonham) invited us over (to England)," she said. "He said, 'I'm playing in my dad's concert.' We met somebody at a restaurant who said he'd paid $90,000 for tickets. We didn't want to tell him we got ours for free."

Tera is up against her husband and manager, Evan Seinfeld, for the "Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year" award, because his pre-porn stardom doesn't count.

"Is there tension at home because you're competing against each other?" I probed.

"Yeah, the knives are coming out," Seinfeld said.

Previously: Gaping Days are here again;
See also: Tera Patrick, Led Zeppelin

Labels: evan seinfeld, interviews, led zeppelin, pop, tera patrick

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 25, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I don't know what story this picture is supposed to tell us about Aiden Starr and Michelle Aston. Is there labor unrest in the toy shop? Are these elfin sprites angered at our intrusion? All in all, would you say that Michelle Aston's xiphisternum has been good this year, judging from its location (I would)?

Whatever's happening, it definitely explains the unusual magnetism I've been experiencing in the pole(s).

We at Gram Ponante Towers, Reindeererie, and Barrow Downs wish you a delicious Christmas, if you're so inclined, and if you're not, we're taking tomorrow off anyway.

· Aiden & Michelle's Elvish Adventures on BlueBlood (blueblood.com)

Previously: Beating up Amber Rayne at the American Hotel
See also: BlueBlood

Labels: aiden starr, because, fotos, michelle aston, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 25, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

This is what Christmas looks like in Porn Valley, USA (God bless us, everyone).

See the full gallery here.

Previously: Stuffing? I'm Stayin'!
See also: Burning Angel

Labels: "joanna angel", because, fotos, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 25, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Monique Alexander (and friends) find the limelight but come close to losing their souls in B. Skow's searing indictment of celebrity culture and threeways.

Alexander plays Sunrise, an ingenue with a dream of stardom. Can she realize it without compromising everything she believes in? Can she??

"I sang very badly,"Alexander told me.

Read the review here.

Previously: Monique Alexander gets a call from Santa
See also: Vivid

Labels: b skow, monique alexander, reviews, vivid

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 24, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

My AA sponsor says that I should be more concrete about things, and I chafe at this, you know, as an artist, but I console myself with the understanding that the subject of this post isn't too on the nose (since it's on her ass).

Seriously, if Starbucks doesn't recharge my and Aiden's Starbuckscard for this picture I'll be angry; this should sell more coffee than Diana Krall.

Previously: Aiden Starr and Caroline Pierce - just because; See The Taunting - then you drink
See also: Aiden Starr

Labels: aiden starr, alcohol, because, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 24, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

You know that the porn industry is built on the backs (and other parts) of the very young, but it was not always that way. Once upon a time, all someone had to be was willing.

The commoditization of filming someone new to porn and/or new to legal age is a phenomenon that has only been around for the past decade, and so many people are exposed to pornography that getting real reactions out of them when they get on camera is tricky.

That is why watching Vivid's Brand New Faces series is more of a lesson for us than it is for the people on screen for the first time.

Read more after the gap.




"We have a money back guarantee," said director B. Skow. "If you can find this girl anywhere else on film doing a scene before this one was shot, you get your money back."

"You mean a commercial video, or the Internet..."

"Yes."

Brand New Faces is both a website and a DVD series featuring women who have never before had sex on camera for pay. Why is this so important?

"Because after awhile you can see people phoning it in," Skow said.

Skow, who picked his porn name 15 years ago - in haste - and now wishes he had chosen something cool like Gram Ponante or Ronnie James Dildo, performs a lengthy interview segment with each girl as she prepares for her scene. Prior to this, Vivid vets the talent.

"Have you ever caught anyone lying?" I asked.

"We did," he said, "and we busted her." Skow said that he's hoping to start a "Busted" section on the site in which women who clearly have been in porn before, whether under a different name or (as was the case Skow mentioned) a day or two prior to the Brand New Faces shoot, get their comeuppance.

"I'll even call them on: 'Who told you how to put your finger in your mouth?' I really want people who haven't done this before."

As in America, there is a dwindling middle class in porn. But in porn the attraction is either being new or famous. In this case, the middle class is women who've been around for between a month and three years who will never be Tera, Jenna, or Belladonna. And the promise of someone new is intoxicating.

"You've got a tiny fucking pussy," Skow says to Taylor Jones. "Where's the hole?"

A 25-year-old hairdresser named Makali Chanel is new to the business but she clearly knows what she wants.

"I'm the Porn Princess," she says about a thousand times.

But the real find of the DVD is Courtney James, who mentioned she turned 18 last December.

"You'll be 19 pretty soon," Skow says. "You're getting old."

"Don't say that," she says.

Skow tells her how to hold her breasts for an upward camera angle.

"Hold your tits over the top of the nipple and push them together," he says.

James is from South Carolina, natural, and adorable. She arrives at the studio wearing khaki shorts and a t-shirt, like she just got off her job at the ice cream stand. She smiles toothily and has a great scene with Sascha, who can't believe his good luck.

"Sascha's one of those guys who really loves girls," Skow says at one point begging the question: Are there men in porn who don't like girls?

Like most gonzo porn shot by its director, Brand New Faces features a lot of Skow talking. He manages to walk a fine line between respectful distance, honest admiration, and sounding creepy.

"But there's a market for Ed Powers, too," Skow hastens to add.

Brand New Faces #1 features four women, some of whom seem more innocent than others. What separates them is their enthusiasm. There is at least one person in the movie I don't think we'll be seeing much of in the future, whereas James might get a contract.

What is especially valuable about Brand New Faces is that the women don't need too much coaching to appear like they've been doing this for a year.



Previously: Monique Alexander gets a call from Santa; Fiat Lux Kassidy
See also: Vivid

Labels: b skow, courtney james, directors, interviews, makali chanel, reviews, taylor jones, vivid

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, December 20, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The website Mean Bitches, which features bitches being mean, either to other bitches or men who are bitches, but never to actual bitches, is doing a decidedly non-bitchy thing for Christmas, like dressing Germany's own Annette Schwarz in festive holiday heels.

Also, company president Glenn King is giving his employees some cash for the holidays.

"Each one of them is going to receive $300," he said. "They will then use $200 of the money to help someone in need. It can be a homeless person, a friend in the hospital, a neighbor who lost his job, or anyone else in need. They can give the money to one person or spread it out among worthy recipients."

And because nothing actually happens if it is not documented -

"They will videotape the giving, with either a cell-phone camera or by video camera. I will then judge the videotapes to see who came up with the best use for the money. The winner will then get an extra $200 for themselves.”

More documentation of people doing good deeds after the gap.




Satine Phoenix paid it forward by removing her shoes in the house.


Harmony paid it forward by shaving this guy's moustache.


Daphne Rosen ... well, Daphne wasn't nice to anyone.

Previously: Skateboard Kink Freak; Fetish Ball; Prod of the O.C.
See also: Mean Bitches

Labels: annette schwarz, BDSM, fetish, harmony, satine phoenix

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, December 20, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I'd never heard of Extreme Holly until I started receiving DVD compilations of her website exploits from Pink Visual. Like Kelly Madison and Moxxie Maddron, Extreme Holly was a little bit more physically substantive than your average porn star, but she outdid the other two in a certain freakiness.

Months after Holly left the adult business ("Apparently this industry was not for her and she moved on to pursue other interests," the webmaster of her eponymous site told me), her movies keep coming out. Just like Teagan and Tupac!

"We still have many unreleased episodes of her so new content is not a concern," her webmaster said.

Extreme Holly's latest, Extreme Holly's Threesomes, features some interesting scenes shot in and around her Scottsdale, AZ home, but the most compelling thing about this posthumous relic from her porn career is the expressions on some of her scene partners' faces as well as the camera angles.

See more after the gap.


Whoa! Is this guy a Mason? Do we run porn, too?

This woman looks like my mechanic when he finds a squirrel in the transmission.

Like any good hostess, Holly makes sure to check in with us now and then.

A shy (and seven months pregnant) couple finally loosen up.

All right. Pregnant 19-year-old in a ball gag. This is what we in the entertainment industry call a casting coup.

Lisa Sparxx is the type of woman other women say "has such a pretty face." Other women can be so cruel. Lisa Sparxx is America's Plus-Sized Sweetheart.

Holly did not run her website; she was a paid performer. Her webmaster belives she is still in the Scottsdale area. Maybe she joined Eastern Star?




Previously: Bat not included
See also: Pink Visual, Extreme Holly

Labels: arizona, extreme holly, kelly madison, moxxie maddron, pink visual

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, December 19, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The other evening at a classy dinner a woman laughed so hard that she started crying.

"I feel like I'm in Throat Gaggers 13," she said.

She meant that someone in a throat gaggeresque movie would be bent over backwards to receive upwards of four cocks in her mouth, causing her pornish makeup to run.

Of course there weren't four cocks in her face (at least while I was there, because then there would have been six), but we all knew what she meant.

As you well know, Throat Gaggers 13 doesn't have a scene of running mascara, but such is its cultural significance (at least at a dinner table with four people who work in the porn industry) that we all knew it meant that she was laughing hard. Even the people at surrounding tables figured it out, because they all left hastily.

Had I gone from college to a career in applied animal husbandry, I would not have got the joke. Instead, I laughed and laughed like I was in Lesbian Bukkake 9.



Previously: Mason's Sluts; Gag Me, Then Fuck Me

Labels: "red light district", blind item, found

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, December 19, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

I needed to wash some shirts.

"I can make sure your shirts get really clean," Joanna Angel said.

"Why does everything you say sound so dirty?" I said.

"Good thing we're at a laundromat, then."

Previously: A Vase or two faces?
See also: Burning Angel

Labels: "joanna angel", because, fotos, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 18, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Carmen Luvana's contract with Adam & Eve will end on January 1, 2008 and Kayden Kross will take her place in the trio of the company's contract stars.

Carmen will be making personal appearances on a per-assignment basis for the Hillsborough, NC-based company, and Kross, who until October was a Vivid girl and prior to that was with Hustler, will be signing for Adam & Eve at January's Adult Entertainment Expo (aka the AVN Show), where she will join Bree Olsen and Ava Rose.

Luvana will also be signing for Adam & Eve at the show in her new freelance basis.

An Adam & Eve source told me several months ago that Luvana "just wants to have babies" (though I have not been able to corroborate this with Luvana, or if she intends to have them with me).

Previously: Kayden Kross-town traffic
See also: Adam & Eve

Labels: "adam and eve", "contract girls", Ava Rose, bree olson, carmen luvana, Kayden Kross

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 18, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Naturally, I thought Cum on Her Chops was about marination innovations for certain cuts of beef. Turns out it is a two-year-old European movie* just released recently in the United States.

You can be sure this was not the original title of this movie, as Europeans don't use 30's American gangster language. If that was the case, Chin Music would have been a much better title.

Here at Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Yurt, Brasserie, Catacombs, and Helipad, we have come to terms with certain conventions, like the necessity of a facial popshot as the punctuation that ends a scene of gentle lovemaking. Yet the boxcover of this movie pretends that sort of thing is optional:

"European girls have no inhibitions! Brunette beauty Susanne Brend is joined by 5 other cuties (all natural breasts!) who all love to finish their sex scenes with a big hot sticky shot of jizz right in the face!"

I imagine the conversation going thusly:

Director: We're about to end the scene. Would you like to end it with a big hot sticky shot of jizz right in the face, a big hot sticky shot of jizz right in the face, or a big hot sticky shot of jizz right in the face?

Susanne: I think I'd like to mix it up a little with a big hot sticky shot of jizz right in the face. 23 skidoo!



Previously: Cum Drunk Love; Cum Greed
See also: Metro

*It was produced two years ago - it doesn't feature two-year-olds.

Labels: Europe, metro, new porn daily

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 18, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Because I am the coolest person you know, I knew that my trip yesterday to the Orange County headquarters and warehouse of hardcore adult products purveyor Extreme Restraints would not yield medieval scenes of people zapping each other's nipples while archiving QuickBooks files.

Still, in the way certain people will make a show of wiping their hands upon learning that I am America's Beloved Porn Journalist, I felt compelled to be That Asshole when I walked in.

"Don't tase me, Bro," I said.

Read more about my visit after the gap.



Extreme Restraints was founded in 2000 by Ari Suss and Kelly Eberhard. Both are knowledgeable about the BDSM lifestyle but both, contrary to popular depictions of BDSM fans, are approachable, businesslike, and not terrifying.

"I was living in Oklahoma and he was in Maryland," Eberhard said. "I was doing the sales and he was doing the shipping."

"...and our first warehouse was in a 10' x 10' spare room," Suss added.

The current warehouse occupies 15,000 square feet of XR's building in Huntington Beach. Warehouse Manager Corey Jarvis has added seasonal help to his regular staff.

"From around November to Valentine's Day is our biggest time of year," he said.

"Not Halloween?"

"No," he said. "People into this stuff don't keep it to one day a year. This is a big time because people are giving these products as gifts."


I took a hog crop, a sturdy cane staff with two leather flaps at the end, to maintain discipline at the office.

"The two flaps make a really satisfying sound when they connect," Eberhard said. "They get you a little red."

"Do people use this on hogs?" I asked.

"No," she said. "The hog refers to being a Pain Pig."

"Gotcha."

In addition to the lubes and jellies, standard issue and high-end vibrators, and a small cache of DVDs from enema movies to Pirates, XR specializes in heavy duty bondage gear and, more and more, muscle stimulation, TENS, and electrosex devices adapted from less sexy pursuits, like cattle drives.

"They got me with this when I started," said Jarvis of a three-foot cattle prod. "They got me right in the neck."

I looked at a stack of cattle prods and pulled one down. The four-"C" battery tool was made for cattle but appropriated for BDSM enthusiasts. What was weird is that the prod is sold by veterinary supply stores as the "Magic Shock Cattle Prod" and XR simply calls it the Large Shock Prod. I noted the lack of taffeta and prettification on the products.

"Naw, the people who buy from us are serious," Jarvis said. It is fun to imagine a leather-clad vegetarian dominatrix in her L.A. dungeon and George W. Bush on a whistle stop to Crawford using the same device at the same time.

One of the most intriguing aspects of the adult industry is its extraction of the sexual from everyday life. No longer do all porn stars look like hookers; niche porn capitalizes on the people in your neighborhood who might not be hookers. And now cattle prods have moved from factory farms to the bedroom, where they should be.

I asked to see some of XR's bondage models but they more than often contract out for them, using sites like Fetish Nation. A couple of the guys in the warehouse now and then model some of the products, but I am not a groovy enough person to want their pictures.

I asked about demographics. Who buys what kind of products?

"We send a lot of butt plugs to military addresses," Jarvis said, the top two branches being the Navy and Marines, respectively.

The rest of the office looked like any corporate office. Cubicles, carpeting, a water cooler, strap-on phone headsets for the call center. There was a room with a plasma TV and a Wii setup that "the warehouse guys monopolize." No one hanging from the ceiling.

"Is everyone here into BDSM?" I asked.

"Not everyone," I was told, "but no one hates it."

Marketing director James Medina summed it up. "We're the same type of business you'd see anywhere else, except with huge dongs."

Previously: Counting floggers on the wall: Mr. S Leather
See also: Extreme Restraints

Labels: BDSM, business, fetish, interviews, orange county, retail

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, December 18, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Shy Love is sporting a Fleet Street in the 60's look, which can be a driving hazard.

I know what you're wondering: "Does her hair grow each time she pulls her leg?"

While this photograph does have an air of the Play Doh Spaghetti Factory, I can assure you that that is hair and not Play Doh, and that Love grew the hair naturally and did not sprout it by cranking her leg.

Further, this will be one of the last times I mention hair on this website; such is my keen understanding of hair that I believe I would put people out of work by devoting more time to it.

Previously: The Hair down there
See also: Shy Love

Labels: hair, shy love

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 17, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

"I will not be getting new boobs for the time being," said Jenny Hendrix this weekend.

This really has been an emotional rollercoaster. I don't know if America will still trust wholeheartedly in the integrity of Porn Journalism if I keep printing retractions.

Previously: Hendrix' breasts to hibernate

Labels: boobs, jenny hendrix, news, shocker

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, December 17, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post