In terms of porn movies directed by musicians, I liked Dave Navarro's Broken a lot better than Snoop Dogg's videos (Sorry, brother from another mother). In terms of porn movies directed by men in makeup, I liked Dave Navarro's Broken better than any Jennifer James video. Damn - in fact, in terms of porn videos in general, I liked Dave Navarro's Broken better than many.

But here's the thing: Sasha Grey is in danger of being stereotyped as the victimized reluctant porn star who turns on people with a gun (because this also happened in Joe Gallant's The Skin Trade). As her spiritual advisor, I recommend uplifting couples' porns from now on.

Read the review here.

Previously: Navarro film to explore duality, empowerment, avoid grandiosity

Labels: dave navarro, joe gallant, reviews, sasha grey

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Gentlemen:

No doubt you have heard whispered in forbidden hallways and perhaps studied in ancient and eldritch tomes the weird and extra-geometrical dizziness from beyond time that is Alix Lakehurst of Chi-ka-goh. Many learned men have attempted her, and none have returned whole, some reduced to gibbering madness and others to a primordial ooze known to the indifferent Elder Ones. The dreaded Necronomicon describes her thusly:

"What a rack"

Previously: Alix Lakehurst: Riding on the Metro
See also: Alix Lakehurst

Labels: alix lakehurst, chicago, geekery, lovecraft

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 | 11 Comments Links to this post

Here is my pal Sabrina Deep, who sends this Halloween photo from England. I asked how last month's gang bang went.

"It had more participants than the Norman Conquest," she said.

Deep is looking for participants in her Lesbian Strap-on gangbang, which will be staged during the AVN convention in January.

Previously: Gang bang across the water
See also: Deep Sabrina

Labels: because, fotos, sabrina deep, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Former face (and other parts) of Hustler Memphis Monroe has had some work done and wants to show it to you personally.

"I got new bewbies," she said.

Monroe relaunched her website recently and is sponsoring s series of contests to get the word out, including a grand prize of a party weekend on the Las Vegas strip with the corn-fed vixen.

Read more after the gap.



Fans subscribing to specific packages on MemphisMonroe.com will be entered in drawings for either an expenses-paid trip to the Strip with Monroe (and a discreet bodyguard) or Monroe-less long weekends in locations like Cancun, the Bahamas, and Hawaii.

"I like to give people the choice to do one or another," Monroe said. "Some members have wives or a lifestyle that doesn't allow them to be able to party with porn stars, if you know what I mean."

I assured her that my wife supports everything I do, but wondered, in the case of the Vegas trip, if the intense fan interaction might be overwhelming.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Monroe. That's me outside the window.

"Most porn fans are normal everyday 9-5 people, just like me and you," she said. "So I totally look forward to meeting the lucky winners. I take this stuff seriously, so I will do my research on the winners."

Memphis' contest runs from now until December 31.

(top photo courtesy Matrix Content)

Previously: Memphis Monroe abandons contract stardom...; Memphis Monroe reveals dark side on her head; Derby Day for Memphis; End of the summer
See also: Memphis Contest

Labels: contest, interviews, memphis monroe

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Sometimes writing headlines makes this line of work seem so tawdry, and unequal to the great events taking place in it every day.

Like Nicki Hunter returning to active performing after being sidelined by leukemia treatments for nearly a year, and a dildo that is also a bong, and Flower Tucci letting me use her whipping cream for my coffee.

"Don't use all of it," she said as I took the carton from the refrigerator. "That's going all over my ass later."

Read more after the gap.



Cousin Stevie's umpteenth Pussy Party, this time subtitled (at press time) "Tushies", featured the return of Hunter as well as generous-assed pornstresses like Sunny Lane, Tucci, Olivia O'Lovely, Luscious Lopez, Richelle Ryan, and Alaana Evans.


"We've got the A-team here today," Lane said, A meaning ass, "All the volumptuous girls."

"Volumptuous" is a combination of the words "voluptuous" and "scrumptious" that Sunny made up. You must pay her a quarter every time you use it.

The Pussy Party experience, as you've read in these pages before, is unique. Women compete for prizes in different configurations, and there is a rotating group of judges. Yesterday's judges included Kevin Blatt of sex tape brokerage fame and a couple of wealthy older dudes who had bid on their judgeship at last May's Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament. They showed up in a $180k Mercedes and parked it next to my Saturn.

Inside the house we were equals, though I was the one who got Flower's ass cream in my coffee.

Like some directors in the business, Cousin Stevie does not hold the camera himself and doesn't sit behind a monitor. Instead, he's more of a presence in the room. He is a genial, old school guy that the talent loves and that his longstanding crew appreciates, though they know that a "Pussy Party" is a long day of work.


Stills photographer Alberto Lopez (no relation to Luscious) is by day a commercial photographer, and for the "pretty girl" (non-hardcore) pictures he wet down the poolside as if he was shooting a Ford commercial. Flower Tucci knelt on the wet pavement, looking far more appealing than the 2008 Escalade and only slightly more likely to roll over.

Porn Valley rental locations in this area of Woodland Hills tend to be owned by the same people. Off the top of my head, I went to the Operation Desert Stormy shoot next door and, across the street, have beeen to at least one of Stevie's sets and the filming of a Roy Karch movie on a summer day that was so hot I think the girls stuck to the pool table (I wasn't complaining).


The houses are surrounded by high walls and gates. Visitors usually park on the grounds. With a few well-placed tunnels and maybe some watchtowers, I think the owners could open a successful armed porn compound. Or the Kennedys could move in.

The big story of the day was Nicki Hunter's return. She looked great, like a far more frank Annie Lennox. Who am I to disagree?

I don't know where these guys get their art. Maybe from the same offramp where I buy my oranges, but I had to take advantage of Alana Evans in the only way propriety would allow. She was an excellent Carol Not-the-Brady.

"My ass is so tight," she said at one point while I was talking with someone else. I don't know why she said it or who she said it to, but that's the type of thing that can draw people out of their own conversations from about 50 yards away.

"That's awesome," I said.

Phallix Glass, which started out as a glass bong concern that morphed into a dildo company, combined those exact disciplines into a dildo that is also a bong. I think they should call it The Chronic Masturbator, but no one ever listens to me. Here's Trina Michaels. She doesn't smoke, but she smokes, if you knows what I mean. I sure don't.

I left early, to my regret, and joined the steady progression of traffic eastward/southward on the 101. It took me 90 minutes to get home; traffic was like ass, but not in a good way.

See the gallery here.

Previously: On the Set archives
See also: Cousin Stevie

Labels: "cousin stevie", "nicki hunter", "set visits", alana evans, flower tucci, luscious lopez, olivia o'lovely, pussy party, richelle ryan, sunny lane, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 31, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

A clean-cut Dad, walking with his family, approached me the other evening in my neighborhood and handed me a magazine that told me I was going to die.

"Something to read in your spare time?" he said.

Because I'd already torn through my copies of AVN and XBizWorld, I exulted (Acts 2:26) in the joy of having something new to read.

Imagine my hurt when all I saw was intolerance and vitriol (Psalms 31:13)?

I am shocked that people are allowed to roam our neighborhoods and hand out such filth.

Read more after the gap.


Awake!, a magazine for young Jehovah's Witnesses, uses the Bible as source material for an attack on pornography.

The December cover story, "Death: Is It Really the End?" (The answer: sort of) is clearly the money shot article, but the story "How can I avoid pornography?" cites passages in Thessalonians and Genesis decrying fornication and concupiscence, and says that the sin of viewing pornography results in death.

It was dark, so I didn't see the contents of the magazine. The pornography item was listed in small print on the cover. Had it been daylight, I only would have seen the Death article.

These children are going to die because they are looking at pornography. Especially the kid in the middle, because he's pandering. The kid on the right carries the same expression I wear every day. This picture also tells us that the DVD is dead and their dress indicates that what they are viewing is probably not steveporn.


Breathing heavily, I went to my Bible and checked the passages and indeed there were direct references therein to Dirtpipe Milkshakes and Girls Handling Cocks. How did they know?

Even though Awake! ends in an exclamation point, each article's title is a question. In addition to the stories I already mentioned, there is "Why Care for Earth's Environment?" (because), "Is There A Creator?" (yes), and "Why Do We Fear Death?" (because now we'll have to deal with Chico Wang in Hell, too).

In the article, kids stumble onto pornography online or in school, where porn is pasted in lockers and shared on cell phones, even though they understand it to be a "satanic attempt to devalue what Jehovah created to be honorable."

The cult's magazine is fascinating, with dressed-up digs at Catholics, Jews, and Eastern religions, and manufactured quotes worthy of a porn press release.

"It's a big thing at my school," said Denise. "On Monday, conversation seems to be, 'What pictures did you download to your cell over the weekend?'"

Oh, Denise, you should have heard the conversation at my school.

A man named Jeff writes:

"Despite what its proponents may claim, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - positive about pornography. (It) is damaging, it is perverse, and it is demeaning to all parties concerned."

Well you have obviously not seen the uplifting couples' porn of Michael Ninn. But I'm with you; I don't know a single person in this business who is happy with his company's health plan, and that is demeaning.

I hope I don't get disfellowshipped for this, but I am going to try to avoid Jehovah's Witnesses (Mat 24:11).

Previously: Report: Bitches evil; Oh JC's Girls, Book II; Images of heaven (that take me to hell)
See also: The Watchtower, Disfellowshipped

Labels: found, God, jesus, literature, sic

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 30, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

...or: Cock the Vote

I don't know about you, but for me each day is a search for meaning.

"Who can I trust? What is truth?" etc.

As if mailed personally by the Intelligent Designer, Girls Handling Cocks was squeezed through the mail slot of Gram Ponante Towers, Quarry, Centrifuge, and Haberdashery today, featuring a cast of people I've never heard of, including Zanza Raggi and Veronica Vanoza, from a country that has only existed recently.

"They look like innocent little sweethearts. But despite their cute looking faces and their tight young bodies...They know how to handle a big and hard cock. See what they do best..."

I recently watched Dave Navarro's Broken, and I was like: Good movie, but what the hell does broken mean? Now, Girls Handling Cocks - I know what to expect.

If only our presidential candidates could be so forthcoming.

I understand that a compilation from the Czech Republic, or Macedonia, or wherever, featuring no U.S. citizens, couldn't possibly be elected President in these intolerant times. That is why when Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Rudy Giuliani, and Mitt Romney come to California or your state within the next few months (unless you're from Alaska, Hawaii, Maine, or Alabama), you must ask them, "How is your candidacy like Girls Handling Cocks?"

Previously: Triple threats prove truth in advertising; Whores Don't Wear Panties
See also: Metro Interactive

Labels: compilation, foreign, metro, new porn daily, politics

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 29, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

In the center of Boardner's courtyard was a fountain filled with dry ice and a huge candelabra dripping wax. I felt like I was at the freshman dorm for mopey girls, and I wasn't complaining.

Director Zenova Braeden and the Spice Network were celebrating (with dry ice and candles) the release of The Taunting, a movie Braeden describes as "creepy but not gory", which is a remark I resemble. The boxcover features Lystra, looking uncannily like Sadako from Ringu and any of the vengeful Asian ghosts that have threatened the popularity of Asian schoolgirls in Western culture.

Lystra's makeup job scared even her. Roommates Zak Sabbath and Mandy Morbid said that Lystra now places her television on a shelf facing the wall so ghosts won't get out or, if they do, will fall. I don't believe it but it's a nice story, like "alcohol isn't good for you". Still, you can buy the movie that scared young Lystra.

Read more after the gap.

I arrived with Holly Randall, who is working with me on my epic Photograhing the Photographers series. "I go to the same gym as Seal," she explained. That guy uses more fans in his videos than Stevie Nicks.

I sat on the edge of the fountain for a few hours and accumulated a healthy waxy buildup on my jacket. It's important at such parties to remain stationary so that people come to me and so that I am not forced to look down people's dresses but instead deep in their eyes as I ask the probing questions that are my hallmark.

For example, "What's new?" I asked Ryder Skye, staring deep in her eyes and not realizing until I downloaded this picture that she was nearly naked. Skye, in the business since Easter (prior to this she was a dancer and receptionist) has been working in several Wicked movies.

"But a lot of people don't like tattoos for contract stars," she said when I asked if a contract was what she wanted. Then she said that she knew a place that would temporarily airbrush over tattoos for photo sessions.

"Does that hurt?" I asked, thinking only of airbrushing t-shirts, which are dead.

"No," she said. "They use air."

Kimberly Kane and I talked about sadness and woe, and Haley Paige and Chico Wang. I informed her the latter was dead. I asked if she'd heard anything about heer costar from Avenue X, Brian Surewood.

"Still in the clinker," she said. Things are grim lately.

"Haley was the most innocent girl," Kane said.

"Why do the nice girls date assholes?" I asked, the first time such a question occurred to me.

"I don't know," she said, "but we all do."

Zak Sabbath doesn't seem like an asshole, but I asked him why he looks angry in his photos.

"Well, it's either the Gay Prostitute or I Fucked Your Mother look that I cultivate," he said, "so this one is I Fucked Your Mother."

I tried to imagine life with Zak Sabbath as my dad. He'd have more hair products than my mom. It's tough that he feels there are only two looks for male talent to use, but perhaps My Mother Fucked a Gay Prostitute might be a good subtext. I'm going to suggest that the next time I am asked for motivation for the photographic tableaux I create.

I hesitated about showing this photo of Casey Parker. It does not convey how nice it is to see her. Instead it suggests a camera phone photo in which everyone nearby is really drunk. I'm only printing this because Casey is much, much prettier in person. This photo is my fault, and not hers.

There were a lot of people at the party. There was another room and an upstairs, but I didn't go there. I stayed where I was and drank designer water from the open bar. I don't know why I wasn't drinking; I certainly enjoy it. Maybe I was lazy. DVDs of the movie were available at the beginning of the night but they all got taken.

But then I used my mind to manifest Page Morgan. About a minute before she showed up I thought, "I wonder what that Page Morgan is up to?" and there she was. I like Page Morgan because she accepts me for all my complexity, and doesn't shun me for my petty porn feuds. I asked her where she'd been.

"I've been dancing at the Spearmint Rhino three days a week in the afternoon," she said.

I have never met an afternoon stripper before.

"Businessmen come and they hang out," she said. "It's the best job I've ever had."

I like hearing good news from Page Morgan. If she'd told me, "I'm really getting into arson," I would probably feel happy for her.

Other things happened, but I was too jacked up on water to manipulate my camera.

Outside I saw Zenova Braeden herself, and was glad. She was drunk but I was not, so at first I feared we'd be unable to communicate.

"I drink a lot during large adult industry functions," she said. "They're overwhelming."

"I used to drink," I thought, thinking about the previous night. I felt like I wasn't doing my part. Still, I look forward to seeing the movie. I'll watch it with Rodney Moore's Vampires and report back on the turgidifying powers of the supernatural.



Previously: Asian and Hot: Not only but also; Strapped by a Ghost; What, no tentacles?; Porn star or vengeful Japanese ghost? (fleshbot); Julie Simone's method
See also: Spice, Zenova Braeden

Labels: "kimberly kane", aiden starr, events, geekery, gia paloma, lystra, mandy morbisd, page morgan, playboy, tommy pistol, WGL, zak sabbath, zenova braeden

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, October 26, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The last time I went to San Francisco I asked Tchukon Hunter, manager/co-owner of Mr. S Leather, "What's with the gays?"

In particular, I was referring to the complex series of colored handkerchiefs they wore in their back pockets to signal their preferences to others of their kind, in much the same way I will put on my right or left directional to indicate which way I want to go on the 118.

In the case of the gays, substitute "118" for "the ass".

Read more after the gap.

I apologize for sounding anthropological (and some consider a lack of comprehensive knowledge of hanky codes homophobic), but I was unaware of all the permutations.

Hunter handed me the following helpful guide:

And don't try to interpret the "Born in the U.S.A." cover.

Previously: Counting floggers on the wall
See also: Mr. S Leather

Labels: BDSM, gay, geekery, instruction, san francisco

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, October 25, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

In the same way that the characters in "Friends" couldn't possibly have afforded the Manhattan apartments they lived in, when Nina Hartley and Kylie Ireland lay down tips for the perfect orgy in Hartley's latest Adam & Eve instructional video, the viewer should understand that Lorelei Lee, Adrianna Nicole, and Annette Schwarz aren't going to show up.

For example, we had an orgy up to Gram Ponante Towers, Salmon Hatchery, Helipad, Clambake, International Space Station, and Offshore Drilling Platform the other night and these are the people who attended:

• Some Cockney fishwives
• A guy named Armo
• Ready-for-anything ladies from the burn unit
• Star World Modeling
• Dragon Talent
• Your mom
• The St. Petersburg cast of "Rent"
• The support team for Windows NT 3.51
• Mr. Belding
• Lord Master Damien

So, you know, just manage your expectations.

And if you replace Annette Schwarz' face with that of that game barrista from the La Canada Starbucks your orgy will be OK.


I asked the fantastic Kylie Ireland if she really throws orgies like the one in the video. The answer is No, her orgies are better.

"Nina and I basically just shared our experiences from our lives while making this 'Guide'," she said. "We have both put together orgies in our personal lives and have learned what works and doesn't and we share this knowledge along with some great real-life stories."

Someone like Kylie doesn't have an Armo story.

Previously: Nothin' but a Gangsta Orgy; Nina Hartley's Guide to Female Ejaculation; Bryn Pryor and Kylie Ireland: Dressing for Success; O: The Power of Submission
See also: Adam & Eve

Labels: "adam and eve", adrianna nicole, annette schwarz, instruction, kylie ireland, lorelei lee, nina hartley, orgy

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, October 25, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Now that members of the Porn Writers Guild (West) have been given the greenlight to strike, it comes as extra insult that my brilliant "hilarious and stroke worthy" work in this spring's Cuckold 2 has been re-released in the compilation Oh No, There's a Negro in My Wife!

I was not given any extra compensation for this film, and only learned of it when my agent called me.

"Grams," he said. "Are you sitting down?"
"What is it, Marty?" I asked.
"I'm watching you in a hotel room in Thailand!"

No wonder I have to freelance for AVNInsider; I'm not seeing any residuals for my porn catalog. What amazes me is that the movie was shot at the end of March, it came out in the beginning of May, and it's in a comp six months later.



Previously: You can't tell Lorena Sanchez anything when she gets this way
See also: Chatsworth Pictures

Labels: "chatsworth pictures", lorena sanchez, stardom

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 24, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

This week's Porner's Almanac deals with the Midwest's recent decision on 2257 statutes as well as what I think is a fine piece oof improvisational acting between Otto Bauer and Dana DeArmond.

I also talk about teens and the adults who portray them in porn films.

Check it out here.

Labels: podcast

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 24, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

"Try not to hate the world as it goes about its business; remember: it's you who is the freak."

When I first moved to Los Angeles from Bogue Chitto and got a job (five years ago next month) at AVN, I remember sitting in my Hollywood apartment watching one of the 60 or so porn movies it was my job to review each month before going out with a friend visiting from back home.

There were some gunshots outside and soon police converged on the area and helicopters descended. It didn't faze me, but my friend said, "If I told anyone from back home that I sat on a couch watching porn with another guy while helicopters buzzed around the window, they wouldn't believe me."

This is the feeling I got from watching Paul Sapiano's jokey, observant, and sometimes poignant snapshot of millennial hipster Hollywood, The Boys And Girls Guide to Getting Down.

Read more after the gap.


A humorous etiquette guide to being 21 to (at most) 34 in Hollywood (and nowhere else), The Boys And Girls Guide follows a talented ensemble cast through hookups, drug deals, party and club crashing, and the bleary morning after, from which the quote at the top of the article is taken.

Not a porn movie, though there is a smattering of boobs, each in oddly non-sexual situations, the Guide nevertheless presents scenarios familiar to Porn's own parallel party circuit, in which a little cocaine opens many doors, Costco vodka in a Grey Goose bottle is never discovered (because all vodka is the same), Mr. Belding shows up, "fauxmosexuals" fool few, bouncers are judged by their accumulation of hot dogs, and people have enough money for bottle service but not for cab fare.

A slick and and well-produced movie with some excellent performances (I'll single out Dominique Purdy with his bit on Dionne Warwick's cell-phone), The Boys And Girls Guide is solidly a movie euphemistically described as a "love letter", meaning you won't get it unless you've lived it. In that way the movie is also like a documentary, except with tips on how to do "titty bumps" rather than Alan Alda talking about the Serengeti.

Shot in and around Hollywood, particularly the Cahuenga club corridor, this movie could be pitched like Swingers with Dirty Vegas standing in for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy meets Slackers with better clothes and L.A. standing in for Austin, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (The BBC version).

Unlike its decades-old predecessors, however, this Guide's hipness and narcissism leaves just a little room for sadness, as if the whole process of getting down leaves those attempting it a little empty.

Previously: Barely Legal: Generations; Young Hollywood; Gia Paloma's fan letter
See also: The Boys And Girls Guide to Getting Down

Labels: comedy, documentary, hollywood, mainstream movies

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 24, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

In the wake of today's 6th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals ruling that extant record-keeping statute 18 U.S.C. 2257 is "unconstitutional", pornographers boarding the party boat U.S.S. Unconstitution in the Sepulveda Reservoir with a gaggle of 15-year-old Thai prostitutes were told to hold on a goddamn minute.

"The ruling applies to the area overseen by the 6th Circuit," said Max Hardcore from a helicopter circling the artificial water body. "That means Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee, you idiots."

He added, noting file cabinets filled with fudged driver's license photocopies slowly sinking to the bottom, "and it could be overturned."

Read more after the gap.

In 27 pages of documents (download here) agreeing, sort of agreeing, disagreeing, and sort of disagreeing with opinions brought forth in an 12-year-old case called Connection Distributing Co., et al. v. Keisler, judges ultimately determined that the current state of 2257 recordkeeping, which in effect declares all porn child porn unless proven otherwise.

The trouble began in 1995, when a swingers' magazine publisher called Connection balked at keeping age and other identification records of the "mature" people who placed ads with the publication.

The court noted (I like to think wearily), that "All the various amendments have made the reach of the recordkeeping requirements of 18 U.S.C. § 2257 extensive."

Judge Cornelia Kennedy, writing for the majority in the Cincinnati-based court's decision, denied government arguments that the government was merely regulating the conduct that is child abuse with the broad 2257 regulations, which is already illegal.

“This argument," she wrote, "is unpersuasive. While the government is indeed aiming at conduct, (child abuse), it is regulating protected speech (emphasis added), sexually explicit images of adults, to get at that conduct. To the extent the government is claiming that a law is considered a conduct regulation as long as the government claims an interest in conduct and not speech, the Supreme Court has rejected that argument.”

“Child pornography, while speech, can be considered more like conduct because the conduct depicted is illegal, and if that illegality did not occur, no images of child pornography would be created,” Kennedy wrote. “Adult sexual conduct is not illegal and it is in fact constitutionally protected … The regulation of visual depictions of adult sexual activity is not based on its intrinsic relation to illegal conduct. It is, therefore, a regulation of speech, because both the photograph and the taking of a photograph ‘bear … [a] necessary relationship to the freedom to speak, write, print or distribute information or opinion."

Concurring judge Karen Nelson Moore wrote, "The alarming breadth of speech burdened by the Act compels (my) conclusion, especially when compared to the breadth of regulations that directly advance (emphasis added) the government’s interest in preventing the sexual exploitation of minors in child pornography."

While this case will be used for precedence, it does not have jurisdiction over America's Porn Belt, nor is it the last word.

So adult companies, performers, webmasters and those who love them are urged to continue scrupulously maintaining records.

Previously: FBI busts Florida company for TMI; When Feds say "porn", do they mean Max Hardcore?

Labels: 2257, legal, max hardcore

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 23, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Whether on a stove top or on a Porn Valley rental couch, Stuffed, a two-or-three-hole-occupancy movie directed by Jerome Tanner (inexplicably credited as Lex T. Drill) stars some of my favorite people: Harmony, Joanna Angel (pictured), Sandra Romain, Jayna Oso, and Adrianna Nicole.

Something about the content of this movie brings each performer's voice down about a half octave, which I like; only Jennifer Tilly should sound like Jennifer Tilly.

See more snaps after the gap.

And Tanner throws in some angles that aren't so arty that they are a distraction from what we are supposed to see, yet they still look just a little different from everything else. Bravo.


For example, here's an excellent perspective on Adrianna Nicole. It's as if I'm there. I just wish that other dude wasn't interrupting my view.

And here's Jayna Oso. I have seen Jayna Oso on three movie sets and during each scene she got extremely slick with sweat. This assures me that her glands are working. What's hotter than that?



Previously: Jamye Waxman: the female you; Smokin' Crack 3; Six in Me; Lorelei Lee and Adrianna Nicole - just because; I am the world's greatest porn director; Medical Pain Sluts; I'm repeating myself; Have a smoking Thanksgiving; Joanna Angel tackles boobs
See also: Hustler

Labels: "joanna angel", adrianna nicole, directors, harmony, hustler, jayna oso, jerome tanner, sandra romain

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 23, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Earlier this year I pointed out to my friends at Vivid-steve that Kimberly Kane's upcoming movie, Triple Ecstacy, had one half of its title misspelled.

While I have lately been schooled in the philosophy that all mistakes are part of the rich fabric of experience, and therefore not really mistakes, I suggested the correct spelling at the time, just in case someone not as enlightened as I might happen along to dismiss the steveporn epic as not caring enough about the consumer to make a single pass through the most rudimentary QA.

Anyway, in gratefulness to me and in celebration of the release of the movie, Vivid-steve is holding a Triple Ecstasy party on Halloween night.

"We have an unlimited guest list for this event," Vivid-steve honcho Eon McKai wrote in a spellchecked internal memo. "Please extend an invitation to those interested."

Previously: Porn and spelling; "You're not one of us"; Kimberly Kane in "Triple Ecstacy" (fleshbot)

Labels: "kimberly kane", eon mckai, events, sic, steveporn

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 23, 2007 | 5 Comments Links to this post

If Robert Crumb worked for Marvel Comics, Katja Kassin would be the superheroine he'd create.

The callipygian Land Mädel is coming to the Spearmint Rhino in Van Nuys from Thursday through Saturday.

If you are a Katja Kassin fan and are worried that your travel to fire-ravaged Southern California will be impeded, have no fear: Van Nuys has almost no trees!

Previously: Katja Kassin's process; Katja Kassin in Viva la Van
See also: Katja Kassin, Van Nuys Spearmint Rhino

Labels: events, katja kassin, strippers

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 22, 2007 | 3 Comments Links to this post

I know when and where and why this picture was taken, but you should just make something up anyway.

Captions utilizing the word "cocaine" are expected, but not necessary.

Have a great weekend.

Previously: Pussy Party 21 caption contest; Sorry, but all you'll get is the sword

Labels: because, caption, contest, fotos

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, October 19, 2007 | 8 Comments Links to this post

If the future is to be apocalyptic, as scholars agree, at least there should be nudity in it, and for months at a time.

365 And Occasionally 366, a trade publication for the calendar industry, reports that the biggest challenge facing purveyors of wall calendars is that people don't look at them.

"It was October 13 before I remembered to turn the page of my '12 Months of Linus' calendar to October," said Los Angeles resident Kam Fong of a calendar devoted to Linux creator Linus Torvalds. "I got it for Christmas so I put it on the wall, but I really just use my smartphone for my schedule."

Much as the porn industry is battling a population increasingly unwilling to pay for its product, now that 94 percent of American women (and 103 percent of Brazil's, including transsexuals) gratuitously flash for passersby an average of four times a day, the once-powerful wall calendar establishment is struggling to lure new customers and retain old ones.

Read more after the gap.


Industry experts say that the process of approaching the wall, removing and replacing the thumbtack (or nail), and changing the calendar page is becoming harder and harder for Americans, who are often torpid to the point of being bedridden.

Research has also indicated that some wall calendar users will like the picture accompanying one month better than that of another and refuse to change the page.

"It has altered my perception of Time," said Norman Fell of Dearborn, MI, who liked the picture of Goofy in his Disney calendar so much that he has been living in March, 1978 since March, 1978.

That is why the 2008 Nerdcore Calendar is so special. Each page is great. In addition to traditional holidays, it also includes release dates for movies of interest to geeks, like Indiana Jones and Speed Racer, dates of sacred pilgrimages like San Diego's Comic Con, the birthday of Jean Luc Picard, and the death date of Sarah Connor.

That and pictures of Justine Joli and Karlie Montana.

Produced in Toluca Lake, the 2008 Nerdcore Calendar features "heroines and their evil counterparts square off in quite revealing ways - a fully nude firestarter igniting her surroundings, a "super" lass undresses after a hard day's night of battling bad guys, and a katana-wielding vixen, wearing a headband and not much else, shows a few ninjas who's the real boss is. These are the powered-up ladies that watch over the city from downtown rooftops and can turn invisible with the snap of a finger."

The 2008 Nerdcore Calendar costs $25 and will be available November 15. Early orders will be accompanied by a promotional poster.

Previously: Hotter than a Balrog
See also: Nerdcore

Labels: art, fotos, geekery, justine joli, karlie montana

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, October 19, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Stoya^TM, Pig-Spanish for the verb To Be, has become Digital Playground's newest contract performer.

"We wanted to cash in on the steveporn craze the emo kids are so concerned with," no one associated with the company said. "We figured: 'It's less work'."

Stoya's assimilation into Digital PlayBorg was announced during last week's Berlin Fair, an annual adult convention. She joins registered trademarks Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, and Sophia Santi, the Katsumi/Katsuni hybrid, and the blissfully unfettered Teagan Presley. No accounting was made for Lacie Heart and Jana Cova in the accompanying press release.

Sources say that one more contract girl is in the offing. Digital Playground announced Katsumi and Lacie Heart within days of each other last December.

Our team of translators worked overtime parsing the press release, which seemed to peg Stoya as some kind of Predator-Next-Door:

Originally from the Carolina's, Stoya is blessed with striking features and a lean, tight body. Completely natural, she stands tall at 5'7" and weighs in at 125 lbs. Her pale skin is accentuated by dark hair and full, pouting lips. With an affliction for pain and suffering, Stoya defines herself only as an android from the future (emphasis added). She loves to make clothes, read good books and play with her cats. Truly unique and intensely passionate, Stoya takes pride in her nudity and general moody perception of the world.

Out of all the things that are kinda weird about this press release, the thing that sticks with me is: what, exactly, is a general moody perception of the world? Does she have an affliction for moodiness? What about her cats? If I were to offend them, would her Cats Sue Me?

Stoya has a lovely face that makes her outfit in this picture seem like a Halloween costume for a woman who ran out of ideas for the party and at the last minute decided to go for Slutty. I hope our operatives can talk with her before she starts adding the "TM" to her autographs, because then it will be too late.

Previously: Oh, And Lacie Heart, too; Katsumi to join Robby D.'s hand; Jesse Jane: Seen here last!; Babysitters
See also: Digital Playground, Rush

Labels: "contract girls", Digital Playground, hype, jana cova, jesse jane, katsuni, shay j, sic, sophia santi, stoya, teagan presley

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, October 18, 2007 | 2 Commen