Free spirit Hollie Stevens sent along this picture of herself and Daisy Laine from last week's Comic-con in San Diego where they represented the Clown Porn and Girls & Corpses concerns.

You would be forgiven for thinking they were just undergoing the manic phase of their bipolar cycles but No, they are supposed to be hot clowns.

Previously: Boxing Day in Alpha 15
See also: Hollie Stevens, Girls And Corpses, Clown Porn

Labels: clown porn, geekery, hollie stevens

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, July 31, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

People concerned with this sort of thing In New Zealand report that there is an increase in "vegansexuals", people who choose not to have sex with carnivores, even human ones.

"I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance," said one Christchurch vegan.

Read the full story after the gap.

Oddly enough, "You wouldn't believe how many carcasses are inside me" is my most effective pick-up line.

Carnivore sex off the menu
By REBECCA TODD - The Press | Tuesday, 31 July 2007

No sex, please, you're a carnivore.

A new phenomenon in New Zealand is taking the idea of you are what you eat to the extreme.

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.

The co-director of the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University, Annie Potts, said she coined the term after doing research on the lives of "cruelty-free consumers".

Cruelty-Free Consumption in New Zealand: A National Report on the Perspectives and Experiences of Vegetarians and other Ethical Consumers asked 157 people nationwide about everything from battery chickens to sexual preferences.

Many female respondents described being attracted to people who ate meat, but said they did not want to have sex with meat-eaters because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses.

"It's a whole new thing – I have not come across it before," said Potts.

One vegan respondent from Christchurch said: "I believe we are what we consume, so I really struggle with bodily fluids, especially sexually."

Another Christchurch vegan said she found non-vegans attractive, but would not want to be physically close to them.

"I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance," she said.

Christchurch vegan Nichola Kriek has been married to her vegan husband, Hans, for nine years.

She would not describe herself as vegansexual, but said it would definitely be a preference.

She could understand people not wanting to get too close to non-vegan or non-vegetarians.

"When you are vegan or vegetarian, you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals," she said.

Previously: Even professionals benefit from dildo etiquette
See also: Carnivore sex off the menu (stuff.nz)

Labels: food, news, oceania

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, July 31, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Strip club manager/Iron Maiden enthusiast Tim Case sent this along. He said he found it on Craigslist, but his wife, the dancer/performer/proud mom Felicia Fox, might have written it, too.

Everything listed in this Stripper Rant is common sense but it is, of course, a letdown to find that peelers don't like me for my profound insights into the adult industry. Remember: strippers don't like you; they tolerate you. Your only chance at approximating the warm, positive regard girlfriend experience you've been fooling yourself about is if you tip.

Read the rant after the gap.

Stripper Rant

1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the fucking deed to Trump Towers... what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It's a fuckin' dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.

2) You losers that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)...fuck you.

3) You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?

4) Don't pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.

5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.

6) No I will not just let you "slip it in real quick" for $50 more bucks.

7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.

8)If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum in their pants from a lapdance.

9) Stop asking me out. You're a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I'm smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn't even fart your way.

11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all, your breath ranks (what'd you have for dinner, garlic and shit?), you're about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno. More importantly: I don't give a shit.

12) Don't bitch at me about the $10 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.

13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.

14) No, you CAN'T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.

15 )Boys, don't sit in the front row with your "homies" and act all engrossed in some deep conversation during a girls performance because you want to look like you're too "cool" to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. It's a clear sign that you ain't getting any.

16) DON'T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!

17) "So what do you guys do when you're on your period?" Answer: I lap dance with guys in dark pants.

18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That's extra.

19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!

20) I had a feeling you weren't going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion and obnoxious perfume before our dance.

21) Hey cheapasses: please don't come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to "Desperate Housewives" instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.

22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that's why.

23) No seriously, my real name is Sparkle.

24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it's oregano anyway you stupid mutherfucker!

25) Sorry, I don't do that. Ask the ugly girl at the bar with the black roots and overbite.

26) I can see it's your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a fuck or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don't have to do "extra services." I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.

27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.

28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me.

29)Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more.

30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It's like me going to PETA looking for a steak.

31) Girls--what's with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.

32) Girls--stop lip-syncing to the song you're dancing to on stage. Especially if you don't know all the words.

33) Girls--if your toes curl and hang over your platform shoes a la' Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size. http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

34) Girls--drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you're trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you smell like lapdance funk.

35) Hey DJ! You suck!

36)Girls--may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking dancing llama on your ass is so lame.

37)Girls--some songs just should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are, you fucking weirdo), Sade, Boys II Men, or Bjork. For the love of God, Please.

Previously: Your porn stars, pregnant;
See also: Tim Case

Labels: felicia fox, found, strippers

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, July 31, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

At no point in JM Productions' Wife, Mother, Whore are the five female performers (including Alison Pierce, above) asked if they themselves gave birth to their children, but neither is this movie marketed as a MILF title. And for that honesty I am grateful.

Each of the women in this movie not only has children but is also married and accepts money for having sex. I haven't seen such a truthful title since I've Been Sodomized.

Previously: I Heart Suckable; Transsexual MILFs; A bit of the old in-out for Chelsie Rae
See also: JM Productions

Labels: alison pierce, JM, MILF

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 30, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Every day I receive boxes of excellent adult products that I mention on my global network of sites in reviews, casual allusions, paid advertising, or as simple prayers the faithful may use in novenas. Most of these products are very compelling.

But sometimes they are horrifying. Read more after the gap.

The first thing I noticed when I opened the Topco box was that it was heavier than normal. Inside were two weapons-grade grrltoyz vibrators that I immediately dispatched to likely lady reviewers (read the review here) as well as a large tub of something.

That something was Bottoms Up^TM Butt Wax Anal Balm, and it had leaked all over the box, sullying the vibrators.

"What's all over this box?" my vibrator test subject asked.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," I said. That line even gets me out of paying my electric bill. You should try it.

Why Bottoms Up^TM is trademarked and not Butt Wax was a mystery to me, as was the fact that the company had decided to go ahead and put anal balm in the title, too.

The tub contained 46 ounces of white goop (there were supposed to be 47, but one leaked out) and the directions were as follows:

Scoop it up and apply to desired area for lubrication and to ease discomfort.

In this case, "desired area" means the ass. And this is, of course, fine, but where is the romance when you have to scoop something up and slap it like mortar on your intended's desired area? Maybe if you're a Mason...

But where this product just became wrong was when I searched for its ingredients, which consist entirely of partially hydrogenated soybean oil. Using this anal balm would be like shoving a super-sized package of McDonald's french fries up your or your partner's ass, minus the potatoes.

As any resident of the Castro will tell you, the nation's gay men have been using Crisco, which is mostly partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil, for generations. But the rule of thumb (or whatever) should always be: If you wouldn't put it in your mouth as food, don't put it in your ass.

Finally, if you are to use a product like this, remember that it is not safe for latex condoms; you'll have to go bareback with it, just like a real porn star!

Previously: Products for your down under from down under; Ladyboy or Cenobite?; The sacred semiotics of the stigmafoot
See also: Partially hydrogenated oils, Crisco

Labels: cenobites, commerce, gay, marital aids

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 30, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Following the recent tradition of acknowledging other porn-buying regions of the country, Vivid will sponsor a launch party in New York for Stood Up, a fictionalized account of comedian Bob Levy's history of having jokes stolen from him by people who went on to become famous, except with sex thrown in.

Savanna Samson, who plays Levy's evil agent in the B. Skow-directed picture, will co-host the August 9 party at Manhattan's Ultra.

Read more after the gap.

Now that I know the premise of the film, I am moved to forgive Levy for making fun of my glasses during last year's FAME Awards; his has been a hard life. When Andrew Dice Clay steals your jokes, you have worse things to worry about.

After the fourth or fifth time Levy made comments about my glasses - glasses I use to see - from his bully pulpit on the stage, I thought, "This man has been hurt before. Perhaps terribly. Perhaps by Andrew Dice Clay." Pity has even crept into my thinking about this individual.

I spoke with the co-writer of Stood Up, an adult industry publishing figure so close to the center of the porn universe that he cannot be identified.

"Levy isn't actually having sex in this movie, is he?" I asked.

"No," the writer replied. "We've got Tommy Gunn playing the young Levy, and Lee Stone plays the Andrew Dice Clay character."

Other comedians with identifiable stand-ins in the movie are Jeff Foxworthy and Jerry Seinfeld.

"It's a hilarious movie," the writer added.

"If you say so." (Actually, I'm looking forward to watching it.)

Levy is making it up to me by proxy through an open bar that will run for two hours, starting at 8 p.m. Then the general public will be allowed in. "Guests will enjoy a night of sexy fun with Savanna and Levy, who will also sign complimentary Stood Up DVDs and be available for photographs."

Just wear your contacts.

Previously: FAME: America recognizes small asses; Lux's Life; The tannens in Miss Samson
See also: Vivid

Labels: events, savanna samson, vivid

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 30, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Director Michale Ninn and NinnWorx have been contracted to art up the 34 worldwide locations of the Spearmint Rhino peeler chain, and the studio will function as the clubs' production arm.

I'm hoping that Spearmint Rhinos will become more Innocence Brat and less Sacred Sin, because who wants to go to a strip club and see someone raging around his apartment weeping about the death of his wife?

Full story on the next page.

Ninn says that this deal, with its roots in meetings between himself and Spearmint Rhino owner John Gray at January's AVN Convention, includes NinnWorx contract performers Jana Jordan and Heather Vuur appearing at the clubs.

The partnership has resulted in the creation of a third company, NinnWorx_SR, which will be headquartered in the city of Norco in Riverside County.

Norco sounds like the soulless name of a company town, but it is actually short for "North Corona" - uninspired, but California is a big place, and you don't get a gem like "Hesperia" every day. In Norco, you can ride your horse to dinner, and many businesses have hitching posts.

Riverside County, famous for being a hotbed of despair, is now changing its image to a porn destination (though it is doubtful you will find that in Chamber of Commerce literature). The headquarters of Pornfidelity are just down the street in Corona.

NinnWorx has recently signed Lena Nicole to a contract, and for a while flirted with the idea of signing former Adam & Eve implosion Sophia Lynn. This will probably not happen due to a recurrence of the same things that scuttled her Adam & Eve deal, sources say.

Recent rumors of NinnWorx' financial instability are exaggerated and incorrect, say company spokespeople. The company co-sponsored its "Gathering" party last year with Eddie Van Halen in support of Sacred Sin. Van Halen went into rehab shortly thereafter, but I should have as well. That's how good the party was.

Previously: An awkward conversation with Heather Vandeven; In a white room with meat curtains; Good Friday at the Filth Factory
See also: Ninnworx, Spearmint Rhino

Labels: business, heather vandeven, jana jordan, ninnworx, pornfidelity, strippers

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, July 27, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I have been pleading with Wicked Pictures to make a porn version of Davey And Goliath but they chose the Old Testament story of Samson and Delilah instead.

jessica drake plays an unhinged and lowdown hairdresser whose fatal attraction to Samson (Herschel Savage), results in blue-tinted condom sex and cross-Testament plot points in Michael Raven's Delilah.

A reading from the review, here.

Previously: 2007 AVN wrap-up; Wicked good hors d'ouevres
See also: Wicked Pictures, Davey And Goliath

Labels: dvd, herschel savage, jessica drake, reviews, wicked

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, July 27, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Tera Patrick, some bicycle messengers, and the pitch-black interior of a Seattle sushi restaurant appeared on the Internet recently, Tera's spokestaff said.

The website LA.com traveled to Washington to capture the footage, which appeared on YouTube. Even Patrick's compelling breasts could not justify why this material was filmed, edited, and uploaded.

View the video here.

"We also have a video of an Australian fat kid," YouTube pointed out.

Previously: XBiz Summer Forum '07 in review; OMG: Local paper to write about porn; Erotica L.A. 2007 in review;
See also: LA.com, Tera Patrick

Labels: "tera patrick", hype

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, July 26, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Because I am so goddamn important, I receive approximately 1,000 spam messages a day, some from mortgage companies, others from Nigeria, others from All Media Play. And I read all of them, because in each there is always a fragment of truth.

Today a message arrived with the heading "You king" and related a story of loss and redemption, which you will see after the break in the HTML continuum.

Girls always giggled at me and even guys did in the public toilets!
Well, now I giggl at them, because I took Mega Dik
For 4-6 months and now my dick is much bigger than "average" size.

Line 1: Paints a dramatic picture of a country where both girls and guys get together in public toilets for giggling sessions. Probably in Europe.

Line 2: Taking Mega Dik caused the writer to invent the verb "giggl", which he would engage in in public restrooms, against women and men.

Line 3: Mega Dik caused such an injury to the writer's cognitive functioning that he (or she - maybe that's why men giggled at her penis size) had no idea how long he/she took it. He/she also puts the word "average" in quotes, indicating that an average-sized dick is actually small.

This spam tells me that the world is tough enough without people going to co-ed bathrooms looking for trouble. If we imagine men and women taking this product to increase their dick size for the sole purpose of returning to this lavatory network to giggle at people with smaller dicks on a semi-annual cycle, you can understand why my next movie will be called Gram Ponante's European Gargantuan Cock Public Toilet.

Because, given how big those girls' dicks will be in three years, they won't even be able to fit into the stalls.

Previously: Katja Kassin in Viva La Van; Still life with Santa, toilet; Skater Girl Fever; How to make me read your spam; What spam tells us about porn;

Labels: bathroom humor, spam

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, July 26, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Hustler has of late sent out screeners of its movies with a pink sticker attached. The sticker lets potential fences know that enclosed is a movie for review purposes only; you can't jerk off to it or sell it.

Because I consider my job as an occasional reviewer to be a Sacred Trust between Mr. Larry Flynt and myself (even if I'm reviewing a Vivid movie), I would never dream of selling these films.

Instead, I launch them into space after I'm done, to make the ionosphere more sex-positive.

But what governs where these stickers go, and is it art? Join me after a brief recess for a thoughtful discussion.

A guy named Dan Silver is the director and, I assume, your stand-in for the first edition of Barely Legal P.O.V.

Point of View movies make me feel a little uncomfortable. Something about the performers looking directly at the camera's red light, which isn't necessarily at a level with my eyes, and the hushed tone required for the camera to stay steady always make me feel creepy watching them.

Add to that the fact that the performers don't have the opportunity to not look at the camera makes the atmosphere a little claustrophobic.

Maybe it's the lack of air between cameraman and star that makes everyone sound a little breathless?

I wish Errol Morris would do a porn POV movie with his Interrotron. Perhaps that way actresses would not bite their fingers or speak in that affected, vocally-fried way that doesn't exist outside of porn or post-production of Britney Spears records. Listening to Veronique Vega and Renae Cruz talk that way, knowing they don't actually talk that way, made me wonder who first gave that advice.

But Silver has the knack for casting women whose breasts, when their owners lie flat on their backs, look enormous and mesmerizing. This is definitely a raincoater film for the weird, uncomfortable level of late-teen unreality it contains. Everyone should own a copy.

(But I'm not going to sell it to you.)



Previously: Penthouse gets Bree sic; Saruman meets Spock in a thoughtful ocean of flesh; Barely Legal 75: Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland
See also: Hustler

Labels: breasts, bree olson, hustler

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, July 25, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

As you know, I am a tremendously sexual person. Sometimes I'm not even allowed to board planes. So it is not in my chemical makeup, in general, to question what in a lady a man or another woman might find attractive. Feet? The Ass? Legs? Her brain? Nothing is off limits in my pan-sexual worldview.

But why this dude to the left is staring so intently at Amber Rayne's shoulder in Amber Rayne Is A White Trash Whore, when there are at least two other parts of her available, puzzled me.

That was until my friend the spirit photographer sent over this amplified image from the spectro-lab here at Gram Ponante Towers.

Join me on the other side of the terrestrial portal for the shocking photograph.

Bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman appears in spirit form above Amber Rayne's right shoulder in an image now on loan to Canoga Park's Museum of Spectral Photography.

Why Chapman, who is still alive and the subject of his own A&E Network reality show, is hovering benevolently over Rayne is anyone's guess.

A reader writes:

You continue to ignore the fact that minorities are more in touch with the spirit world.

If, when you say "ignore", you mean "embrace", then Yes, I do ignore that fact.

I only present facts. Sexual facts. And I cannot comment on the spirit realm, because it owes me money.

Previously: Send It Down; Strapped by a ghost; Ghouls Gone Wild; What, no tentacles?
See also: Spectral Photography, JM Productions

Labels: amber rayne, dvd, JM, race movies

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, July 24, 2007 | 9 Comments Links to this post

"Hey, my name's Kate Lynn. I'm 22 and I'm from Phoenix and I want to be a gag slut and I want to choke on some big cock. It's gonna make me all wet. Doing this."



Previously: Memoirs of a Madame; Asia Carrera 4 on 1; Lux's Life
See also: Gag Sluts

Labels: dialogue, hype

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, July 24, 2007 | 2 Comments Links to this post

I went to college with a guy named Brian and a woman named Jennifer (as did many of us). One day, Brian came into our dorm's common room, prior to the television being tossed out the window, and said:

"Jen's got nips that are two and a half inches out."

Read more about my confusion at this statement and how it turns out Vicky Vette wasn't in my Economics class, one click away.

In the older porn performer world, few hold a candle to Vicky Vette, who this week announced she has two-and-a-half inch nipples. Unfortunately what Vette calls nipples are actually her areolae, the pigmented areas surrounding her nipples.

Vicky supplies a picture of her areola against a Stanley measuring tape. I hate to school porn stars on aspects of their own anatomies, but Hey, I'm a Latin fan.

Now Havana Ginger - that chick's areolae must be about three feet in diameter.

When I read Vette's claim of such huge nipples I naturally assumed that yet another person from my numerous almae matres had taken up a porn career. Oh well.

Anyway, when Brian came into our common area I thought he was talking about Jennifer's ethnicity, which happened to be Japanese, because why say "nip" when "nipple" is just one syllable more?

I later saw Jennifer's nips myself (after she'd washed Brian off them) and they were totally 2.5" perpendicular to her body. In fact, they were perpendictastic. I measured them with a ruler I'd had since second grade and, with a little work, we got the left one out to 2 and 7/8". I should've taken pictures, but I wasn't that kind of person then.

Anyway, Vicky Vette, her areolae, and every other glorious part of her will be appearing tonight at SexCamCentral and Wednesday with Lisa Sparxxx in a special "Presidential Boob Debate".

Don't worry, Vicky, I'm sure Sen. Sam Brownback couldn't point out an areola, either.

Previously: Recovering Vette; No Morals!
See also: Vicky Vette, The difference between an areola and an aureola

Labels: breasts, cams, havana ginger, MILF, sic, vicky vette, website

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 23, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

If you can think of something better, by all means let me know.

Labels: found

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, July 23, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

David Aaron Clark's Legend of the Oriental Luv Motel! is a riveting look at one man's realistic expectations of prostitutes.

As Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Helipad, Salmon Hatchery, Kibbutz, and Centrifuge are in Koreatown, now I know what to look for.

Read the review here.

Previously: Pornhounds; Dreaming of Snow
See also: David Aaron Clark

Labels: "david aaron clark", asian, prosties, reviews

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, July 20, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

...especially if you add the "7".

Side note: If you spell out the initials, the word you get is "Ilibadima 7". That either sounds like De'Bella's mom or someone left out of "Purple Rain".



Previously: "This nipple's not going to lick itself"; I Love Black Dick 3; Pull My Daisy
See also: Metro Interactive

Labels: dvd, new porn daily, race movies, sativa rose

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, July 20, 2007 | 1 Comments Links to this post

The other night I talked with sex blogger/director/performer Audacia Ray when she stopped by a Venice Blvd. sex shop to read from her book "Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration".

As a large part of our living comes from writing about sex, and as Ray and I are both tremendously sexy people, was it possible to have a conversation without writing about it? Did not writing about it make it less real?

Find the inevitable answer after the break in the HTML continuum.

Freddy & Eddy's is a bookstore/sex shop in an unlikely spot west of Centinela on Venice Blvd. run by husband and wife team Ian (Freddy) and Alicia (Eddy) Denchasy. When they started the online version of their store, which preceded the physical one, several years ago, they both had day jobs that didn't lend themselves to selling dildos and floggers.

So Ian chose the names "Freddy and Eddy", the characters played by Michael McKean and David Lander in the 1980 movie Used Cars. (They also played Lenny and Squiggy in "Laverne And Shirley".)

"They were ambiguous names, and wouldn't give us away," said Alicia. "I was working in a law form and Ian was a teacher."

Ray read selections from her book in a cozy back patio, furnished with wine, cherries, and Costco pizza. Among the attendees were Vena Virago and Suki and Brian Vatter, creators of the iPod vibrator OhMiBod, which I reviewed last year for Fleshbot.

Ray has been on the road supporting her book since May, stopping in places like Boston, Charlotte, and Amsterdam. Her ex-boyfriend is staying in her apartment in New York while she's out.

"In New York we have a real estate problem?" Ray said, "so sometimes your apartment woes trump your relationships, and you end up living with your exes."

"Naked"'s seven chapters deal primarily with how women express their sexuality online, via media from blogs to chatboards to cyberdildonics.

Each reading is followed by a Q & A period, and Ray observed that, regardless of city, people tend to focus their questions on the commercial sex/sex-for-money chapters.

"One woman in Baltimore finally asked, 'Is this whole book about commercial sex?'" Ray recalled. "And I said, 'No, but all these questions seem to be'."

The L.A. audience's questions focused on academia. I was proud of them. Ray said she picks her battles when deciding whether or not to mention her own sex work in academic settings.

She also shied away from predicting the future of online sexuality and explained why there wasn't a lot of Ray herself in the book.

"I found that of the 80 women I interviewed, any time I was about to offer up my own story, they had already lived it."

It's easy to forget (for me, anyway), that not everyone writes everything down.

"I have a boyfriend now, and I don't write too much about him on my blog," Ray told the audience. "It really helps the relationship."

Ray reads well but does not make a performance of it. She said she varies what she reads to keep herself interested, but does not choose chapters depending on her audience. Nothing in the reading, therefore, seemed titillating, it only seemed informative.

I read the book online, where the Internet lives, but the book is available in terrestrial form. Having a word like "Internet" in the title, with the book's Matrix-y cover art, made me wonder if the book will still be relevant in ten years, if it is instantly topical but also inevitably obsolete, the way we are immediately jarred out of a movie when we see an old, bulky cell phone.

But the Internet, however it will continue to be defined, is just the latest vehicle for self-expression, so the book will date itself with mentions of chatboard URLs and millennial technology but will also remain evergreen, as the Internet is only the latest means by which boobs can be presented for approval.

Ray and I stared at each other for a bit. I asked if, now that she writes everything down, what remains secret in her life.

"I don't know," she said. "If I don't write this down, will it have really happened?"

Previously: Audacia goes the extra mile; Bi Apple review
See also: Audacia Ray, Buy "Naked on the Internet", Why mentioning a skin horse is not dirty in this context

Labels: "audacia ray", books, interviews

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, July 20, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

You will not be able to swing a dead impulse-purchase accessory dog this weekend without encountering a porn star stripper in America.

Little Casey Parker will make her dancing debut tomorrow night at Rouge: A Club for Gentlemen, 1616 East 15th Street in Los Angeles.

But wait: There's more!

Read about where Tera, Brooke, Stormy, and Nautica will be peeling after the break in the HTML continuum.

Tera Patrick will return to Wolcott, CT's Rockstar establishment tomorrow and Saturday night. Why name a strip club Rockstar? Better than calling it Folk Duo.

Brooke Haven, whose picture should be in the dictionary under the definition of Millennial Stripper, will be at Van Nuys' Spearmint Rhino tonight through Saturday.

Stormy Daniels will be at Hartford and Groton, CT's Gold Clubs from tonight through Saturday promoting Operation Desert Stormy and pointedly refusing to tell me about craft services on Knocked Up.

Finally, Nautica Thorn (who did tell me about craft services on Knocked Up), will grace El Paso's Red Parrot at 14400 Gateway Blvd. West.

Previously: The People for Casey Parker; Tyler Faith: "Just like the glitter on her nose"; Nautica Thorn hot girl, Asian; Sleaze are the people in your neighborhood

Labels: "nautica thorn", "stormy daniels", "tera patrick", brooke haven, casey parker, strippers

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, July 19, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

You would be excused for thinking that someone with the name Kala Prettyman is a tranny, but that is the only thing about the "newish" performer's appearance in Fresh Out the Box 7 that isn't deceptive.

Read more after the break in the HTML continuum.

For one thing, this series, affably directed by Tina Tyler, is for newcomers to porn. Prettyman has been in the business in for more than a year.

And the impression one would get from the gauzy, vaseline-y, finger-in-the-mouth pose on the boxcover does not do justice to the all-natural and unassuming performer who gets all womanly on a couch with Lexington Steele.

Prettyman is hippy and roomy, not in a way that would make Jame Gumb think about where to add zippers, but in a way refreshingly different from most newcomers to porn, who have thighs that Rebecca Gray noted "look like they were scraped out from the inside with an apple peeler."

Prettyman fills a void so cruelly created by Missy Monroe on her departure from porn (though Prettyman seems more stable, not that instability is necessarily bad).



Previously: Fresh Out the Box 4; Lux's Life; Holly Randall has always been a pervert
See also: Kala Prettyman

Labels: "tina tyler", kala prettyman, new porn daily, transsexual, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, July 19, 2007 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Today I visited the set of Belladonna Entertainment's Odd Jobs 3, a "blowjob, handjob, and footjob" movie. Today's scene featured Steve Taylor and Ashley Blue.

Belladonna and Ashley Blue are often thought of as the most graphic and outrageous women in porn. Yet they are America's Sweethearts.

Read more after the break in the HTML continuum.

The location was on the Porn Valley side of Laurel Canyon Blvd. Blue talked about a house up the hill that fell down the mountain during the rains two years ago.

"I did my first interracial scene in that house," she said. I hadn't known that was a porn house. Of all the pictures taken of the famous house that fell down the hill, I don't remember any mentions of its porn celebrity. I can imagine an L.A. Daily News piece on "The House that Porn Made Fall Down the Hill".

As the cast prepared, Belladonna talked about what we can learn from celebrity.

"I had sex with a celebrity," she said, "and I got an STD from it. I called the guy and he didn't know what chlamydia was."

"Who was he?" Blue asked.

"He was a rock guy," Belladonna said. "I told him I had an STD and he asked what an STD was."

"I'm sure he knew what crabs were," Taylor said.

I mentioned that buying a bass guitar in Los Angeles County comes with a free case of crabs.

But Bella allowed that, despite the musician's lack of knowledge of the chlamydia that he had, he didn't freak out when she started her period on his bed.

"He said, 'The maids will take care of it'," she said. "I thought that was cool."

But will the maid take care of his chlamydia??

It may surprise you that the premise for some porn movies is very thin, and is sometimes arrived at mere seconds before shooting.

"You're a pizza guy," suggested Aiden, the director and Belladonna's husband. "You say, 'Pizza delivery' and then you deliver it."

This plan was scrapped when Belladonna revealed that she had thrown away the pizza box.

Then it was suggested that Taylor be an adult journalist and I would be his photographer. Taylor would demand a blowjob from Blue in order to kickstart her career with his media connections.

It was at this point that the ideas began flowing fast and furious, because we all felt we knew this character.

"Right!" Blue said to Taylor. "And you're a failure and your own career isn't what you want it to be, so you take it out on porn girls by acting better than them. You're like, 'What will you do after porno?' - "

I suggested, "And ask questions like, 'And how ashamed of yourself are you?'"

Blue continued, "Yeah, and you're like, 'Didn't you ever want to be a real actress?'"

We felt the reality of these characters coursing through us.

As Konstantin Stanislavsky said, “What is important to me is not the truth outside myself, but the truth within myself.”

"Usually no one sees my face in a movie like this," said Taylor, who has been a performer for 12 years. "Usually it's my dick entering from the left side of the frame."

(Or the right side, if the blowjob is in Hebrew.)

But with this setup we felt we could all organically move within our characters and breathe some real life into them. For my part, I spoke with an Australian accent.

I watched from a balcony with Belladonna as the blowjob scene unfolded below.

"You're getting a real fetish blowjob," Blue improvised to Taylor, the adult journalist. "My private clients would pay two thousand dollars for this."

Aiden decreed that there had to be 33 percent hands, 33 percent feet, and 33 percent mouth in the scene, which will debut on EnterBelladonna.com and then be released to DVD.

"Wait a minute," Blue's character said. "I can't put my mouth on your cock. I haven't seen your (HIV) test."

"Oh, we can call and get the results afterward," Taylor said without hesistation. Just like real life!!

None of Blue's clothes came off in the scene. She mentioned that her partner, the photographer Dave Naz, who shoots for a lot of fetish magazines and sites, says people who are truly into legs, or feet, or breasts - whatever the fetish is - often don't care to see any other part of the performer's body.

I find this abhorrent, but then I am narrow-minded. I also can't understand people who don't drink.

Blue and Taylor improvised paragraphs of dialogue about a naive porn star who believes that blowing a disreputable adult journalist will help her career.

"I've helped hundreds of girls," Taylor said, and then: "You're making a mess."

"Oh, I'll have the maids clean it up."

Soon after, Taylor was allowed to pop.

"Cool," Blue said.

Afterward, I asked Belladonna and Blue which of them was the Dirtier. Each nominated the other, but they eventually decided on Blue. I asked them to pose as if Blue had said something shocking, but in reality both were very wholesome.

Previously: Belladonna wants you to be happy; Erotica L.A. 2007 in review; Ashley Blue: What she isn't
See also: Belladonna, Dave Naz (and Ashley Blue's blog thereon. Of her dog, she says, "I love him so much it is almost homicidal.")

Labels: "set visits", ashley blue, belladonna, interviews, WGL

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