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Friday, June 29, 2007
Jenna Jameson marries iPhone at Mac-Erotica Expo
 ...children to be released on Blu-Ray.Previously: Gram Ponante launches iLick Labels: Apple, jenna jameson, technology ¶ Friday, June 29, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post 
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Porn Week's Czechs for Cash
 The idea of paying to stay in close proximity to porn ladies, eat dinner with them, watch them cavort, and get very close to them while they engage in sex acts on film is the raison d'etre of Porn Week, the brainchild of Scots director Gary Gazzman.The closest many people get to the performers they crave is often a convention like Erotica L.A. or the AVN show in Las Vegas and, when you think about it, fans have a much more visceral reaction to Sunny Lane and Ava Vincent than they do to Nicole Kidman and Tom Hanks, who would never give them long hugs or even be in a place where they could be on view for hours at a time. In high heels. And smelling like melon body spray. So the money hardcore fans pay for a ticket to these shows is chickenfeed compared to how much they shell out for DVDs and VOD and magazines. But what of the fan who wants to take it a little further?  When I was in Las Vegas this year I attended a Porn Week party hosted by Gazzman and Ric Williams, of the late Black Widow Talent Agency. A number of well-heeled and polite gentlemen, mostly from the United Kingdom, were gathered in a house in a gated community just outside the city limits. Drink flowed and a bevy of naked 18-,19-, and 20-year-olds ran up and down the carpeted stairway, then fucked on a pool table.Had this been a party at my old fraternity, Zeta Zeta Tau (the ZZ Top fraternity), these ladies would have been lucky to reach the pool table. But the assembled blokes (in Britain they're called blokes) were gentlemanly. Probably because they'd all paid to be there and they didn't want to blow it. (Or they did, but they didn't.) Gazzman and Co. have announced plans for a Porn Week in the Czech Republic next month which will feature British bird (in Britain they're called birds) Poppy Morgan. The festivities will take place in Jana Cova's own Brno. This event will be slightly different in that certain attendees can participate in the action.  “I want to come to the Czech Porn Week event and discover the next big thing in the jizz biz," Gazzman said. "Whether that's a hot new director, a super sexy babe, or an up and coming stud. I'm throwing down the gauntlet for them to step up to the plate."*"We could get the next Rocco showing up," Morgan added. "A newbie porn stud and I could get to fuck him in his first scene." Porn Week vacations cost $2150 for single blokes and do not include hotel or airfare. I'll just say that when I was at the Porn Week event in Las Vegas the club soda never ran out. *Kiara Marie is very much alive in this picture. Very much. Previously: 2007 AVN wrap-up: "A fine spray of legitimacy" See also: Porn Week Labels: events, gazzman, porn week ¶ Thursday, June 28, 2007 2 Comments Links to this post
Ryder Skye's the (11") limit
 Ryder Skye has now done two boy/girl scenes, having started her porn career as a Girls Only performer on Easter.It used to be that the trajectory of a female porn performer followed a few patterns, 1.) Enter as dirty as possible and balance the risk of being overexposed (literally) and "shot out" with the appeal and fast cash that being a teenager who will do anything provides; 2.) Arrive as a Girls Only performer (or as a package deal with your boyfriend) and slowly progress through several stages, including Boy/Girl with someone else (cue soul-searching, leaving the business temporarily, breakup with boyfriend, return to the adult business), Bukkake, Gang Bang, Anal (and why is Anal always the final frontier? I'd say a JM Productions' "American Bukkake" with a bunch of Metro conductors and guys who sell oranges by the freeway who were paid $50 really is the limit); or 3.) Just show up with no plan and see what happens. Skye's first Boy/Girl scene was in a movie called Manaconda. "They didn't tell me over the phone the guy was 11" long," she said. "Well, with a title like Manaconda..." "Yeah." "You look OK now," I said (though Skye wuld have to try hard to look bad if she fell out of a moving car). "The next scene was a little easier," she said. "It was for a movie called Bus Stop Whores." This surprised me, because if, in general, guys with little dicks drive Hummers, it would stand to reason that Skye might encounter another wielder of 11" using public transportation. This very morning I took the bus, for example. Only when one's parts are freakishly huge in porn should the movie's title reference them, and even when that huge part belongs to a guy, it might alienate sections of the porn-buying public if the title is man-part-centric. But Manaconda is a clever title. Manfred Mann's Earth Band is not. Skye went from virginal (for porn) to Manaconda in about two months (depending on when Easter is). That is about par for the course. I would be displeased if you called her Easy. Previously: Energy drink-drinking nudes See also: Ryder Skye, Exotic Star Models Labels: "vena virago" wgl, agency, interviews, Ryder Skye ¶ Thursday, June 28, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
Sixth time is a charm for Donny Long
 I got a message this morning from a person who sent me a MySpace blog post that he said was written by the performer Donny Long.Long often recruits new female talent to the adult industry, rechristens them with his last name, and shops them around to producers. The blog post dealt with some of the pitfalls of that approach but ends with a success story. The Weinstein Company should option it for its positive arc. Because I am currently at the Vatican, however, my immediate thought was "Cui Bono?" - it concerned me that someone else was sending this message around. I contacted Long, who said that the blog post was indeed his. The person who sent it to me identified himself as a male performer who has worked with several women who have also worked with Long. "This just proves that Donny is just in this all for himself," he wrote. "What do you expect when you bring such young talent on board?" Many people in the adult industry believe that the minimum age for porn talent should be raised three years to 21. They feel that, while some 18-year-olds are very mature and while many 37-year-olds still have a lot to learn, that teenagers in general should get some sexual experience under their belts before they start getting paid for it. "It all depends on the person, and if you (are) a good judge of character you should know who is mature and dependable no matter what age they are," the anonymous source wrote. Long's full post is below, unedited. What do you think? agents and their pimp handsPreviously: No easy way out for Body Magic; Glenn Beck: What's Wrong with America; The Princess Has Come of Age; The Whipping Hour; Porn rumors and how to handle them See also: Donny Long on MySpace Labels: agency, business, donny long, interviews, male talent, news ¶ Thursday, June 28, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
Gram Ponante launches iLick
 LOS ANGELES -- Hot on the heels of Digital Playground and Playboy announcing that the companies had somehow found a way to transfer pornography to Apple's iPhone (due in stores tomorrow), Gram Ponante said that he will be using the United States Postal Service's self-adhesive stamp technology on his personal and business correspondence."Licking stamps is for garlic eaters and reprobates," Ponante scoffed. "I am partnering with the USPS to create a world in which all a user has to do is peel a stamp from some kind of coated backing and then to affix it, saliva-free, on any kind of paper-based enveloping device in order to, like, mail it." Ponante held Playboy's and Digital Playground's press releases in his hand. "Check these out," he said. "I am mailing these to my Ukrainian mail-order bride because my XBiz mousepad just broke." Steve Jobs has delivered the hardware and now Hugh Hefner has delivered the software. With the eagerly-anticipated Apple iPhone finally in retail stores, Playboy.com is celebrating the glorious gadget with the launch of “iPlayboy,” a collection of multimedia features guaranteed to turn up the heat on that cool, new phone."I think it's great that Hef spent all that time programming and delivering software," Ponante, now guzzling limoncello at a Ventura Blvd. restaurant for fat people, said. "And you would be amazed at how far up Cupertino's ass Digital Playground has got." Digital Playground is pleased to announce an early alliance to Apple's iPhone with 158 full-length trailers available free of charge, for immediate download."This alliance will be every bit as significant and effective as the Rebel Alliance in Star Wars," Ponante sagely predicted, nibbling Porcini mushrooms off the concave abdomen of a starlet hanging around outside the shuttered offices of World Modeling. America's Beloved Porn Journalist reflected that announcing one could put porn on an iPhone was like sending out a press release saying that you had moved your air freshener from one car to another. "A Playboy air freshener," Ponante added, flash-frying a whole turkey at a tony Sylmar Superfund site. Vivid Entertainment sales manager Howard Levine confirmed today that the long-awaited Blu-ray edition of Paul Thomas' Debbie Does Dallas...Again has arrived in house following a series of delays. The disc ships to stores next week. (AVN)Ponante has been touting iLick technology since last year, and even mounted huge banners proclaiming it at January's AVN show, but he only recently sent away for the self-adhesive stamps. Since he pays all his bills online and rarely sends letters, he is thinking of using the new stamps next week to send a postcard to his mother, Lita Ford. Previously: Playboy releases Asians clutching at underwear line; Report: porn industry to utilize Internet; Caprica Six gets a ten; Scenes from the classs struggle in Playboy's Penthouse; Who-ray came first?; Digital Playground's cavalcade of synonyms See also: Playboy, Digital Playground, Vivid, Apple, United States Postal Service Labels: Apple, Digital Playground, hype, playboy, sic, technology, vivid ¶ Thursday, June 28, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Lorelei Lee on breaking the fourth wall
 As you know, I am a trained thespian. That is why I was shocked to see Lorelei Lee break character in a recent scene between herself, Adrianna Nicole, and Tommy Pistol.Lee plays the victim of a two-timing boyfriend and her role calls for her to bust in on Pistol and Nicole at the designated time. "You cad!" she says. "Did you call me a cow?" Pistol asked. At this point, and with the world watching, Lee smiled, half-looked at the camera, and continued her scene. I asked the 2006 Also-Ranny winner how an audience was supposed to go along with her on that journey, once she had betrayed its trust. "When Tommy Pistol stood up and asked if I'd called him a cow," she explained, "it was so unexpected, I just genuinely cracked up. I thought they were going to cut, but they just kept rolling." That's right. Blame the director. It's like what Michael Caine did in Jaws 4: The Revenge. Regardless of this outrage, I liked the movie, Naughty Flipside, a lot. It was often very silly. "I like to watch people acting silly too," Lee said. "I think laughing during sex is just as good as crying during sex." GP: Crying? Like "You don't love me anympore" crying? LL: Okay, I know there are people who don't like either of those things, but if you think about it, sex is all about release anyway, right? GP: Well, for me it's about creating a robot army. LL: I mean, maybe not for everyone - I know there are plenty of people (some tops, some women) who have sex without orgasm as the primary goal - there's something to be said for having that kind of sex too, occasionally. GP: Can the thing that can be said about it be "Oye Como Va"? LL: I'm gonna stick with my statement anyway - for me, sex is all about release, and laughing (or sometimes crying) can be incredibly satisfying and make for better orgasms. As long as I'm laughing with the person I'm fucking rather than at them - laughing at doesn't so much work for me. Read the review of Naughty Flipside here. Previously: I am the world's greatest porn director See also: Naughty Flipside, Lorelei Lee on MySpace Labels: interviews, lorelei lee, WGL ¶ Wednesday, June 27, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
New copy of XBiz World contains mousepad
 HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Adult industry trade journal XBizWorld this month included a mousepad with its 130-page magazine, confusing a number of subscribers."I don't know what kind of message they're trying to send," said Porfirio B. of GoateeCash, the pornography business' most popular affiliate program. "Am I supposed to read the magazine or scan it into my computer and then read it on my computer?" The adult industry is contending with a steep drop in DVD sales, and ad rates for its print publications are falling. XBiz employees say that including the mousepad was a means of recognizing that people who read often use their computers, too. "We really need to get to all aspects of the marketplace," publisher Tom Hymes said, but not in relation to this story. But some people feel that a mousepad in the age of optical mice, smartphones, and Nintendo's Wii are an anchor in the past, or worse, a piece of swag cluttering up the office that it didn't cost the company any extra to ship. "Will I get an 8-track player in the next issue? How about a 3/4" floppy drive? I'm surprised I didn't get a PS/2 mouse in there. What are they, cheap?" groused Loup Perch-Tounge, spokesman for the Canoga Park Gaping Commission, an industry think tank. "No, we're just - What? Jesus. We just thought it would be a good idea to include a frigging mousepad," a source within XBiz claimed. "(The mousepad) was free. Why don't you start a {expletive deleted} thread on (adult industry chatboard] GFY about it?" XBizWorld often depicts adult industry personalities in full-page ads reading the magazine, as if to say "Adult industry personalities can read". This month's XBizWorld features America's Beloved Porn Journalist, Gram Ponante, striking a thoughtful pose with the new mousepad. "Whenever I'm not saying whatever I want with impunity or getting in street brawls," Ponante said, "I usually have other people type for me. Still, (the mousepad is) a nice shade of blue, and if you light it on fire, it sort of smells like the City of Industry." Previously: XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, Van Halen; Rotten, "Too Close for Comfort" star rift worsens; XFanz to stage erotica festival, perhaps erotically See also: XBiz ¶ Wednesday, June 27, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Products for your down under from down under
 I recently returned from Australia, the land my forebears colonized, where I visited Byron Bay's Black Label Adult Shop, a luxury sex toy retailer positioning itself as not only that hemisphere's largest purveyor of high class adult goods but also as a global luxury brand.I spoke with co-founder Bliss, who told me the website just went online after six months of toy acquisitions and the photography and product descriptions that accompanied them. Prior to making part of my mortgage from writing about marital aids, I subscribed to what is known as the Lebowski Doctrine: The Dude: Well, I still jerk off manually. Jackie Treehorn: Of course you do. ...but as I've aged (I'm now 22), I realize that sex toys can be fun, stylish, and - most of all - practical. Let's say you wanted to restrain your partner. Would you use household items like tire chains and sandpaper? Not after your incarceration, you wouldn't. Instead, you'd use something like this. Or, Ladies, what if your shame and materialism combined to thwart the midday masturbation recommended by your HMO? Well, you could secret one of these in your Prada bag and onlookers would just think you'd been by the seaside collecting stones, when in reality you are some kind of sybarite.  Fellas, are you a two-toweler like your friend Gram? Why not own a device that looks like a fancy towel rack from one of those upscale gated communities?I'd never been to Australia, so I was interested in the role of wombats in Parliament and if dingoes did actually roam the land eating babies. "Did dingoes eat your baby?" I asked Bliss. "No," she said. "Are they scheduled to?" I also asked the name of that reptile crawling perilously close to me. "It's a Water Dragon," she said. "Not a wallabee?" "No."  Despite its seaside resort location, Black Label ships immediately to most parts of the world within one week. I asked if there were locales that were trouble."I spent four years working with (Byron Bay's) Sax Leather and we found that a few countries consistently defrauded us with bad cards or issued chargebacks even though we know the items arrived," she said. "So to save the hassle and our limited funds we have decided not to deal with them." According to Black Label's website, countries including Indonesia, Bulgaria, Romania, other Eastern Europe countries, Equatorial Africa, Russia, Former Soviet Republics, and some South American countries are considered high risk and Black Label will not accept orders from these locations. It is a shame the company has had bad checks from Bulgaria, when Bulgarians, according to recent U.N. data, are in the most need of sex toys. That said, Black Label stocks products that are to sex toys what Kobe Beef is to Burger King. One of their most expensive gadgets is JimmyJane's Little Gold Vibrator (allegedly endorsed by Kate Moss), which retails for nearly US$300. I would have to bag 10-15 koalas to get that loot, plus I don't have a vagina. If I did, I understand it would be worth it. The company does not make its own products. Instead it imports its stock from companies like America's JimmyJane and Sweden's LELO to validate its claim of "the most beautiful sex toys on the planet". "We get most of our orders from America," Bliss said. "(Though) Australia is a seriously decadent country." I was not aware of this. None of the Star Wars footage shot in Australia seemed decadent, and all those Midnight Oil videos had a shameful lack of booty shaking, still, people were walking around naked on the way to the bar down the road. "Hippies," I said. I asked how U.S. consumers might benefit from products shipped from Australia. "I'm not aware of any sex toy shop in the U.S. that has a nude beach five minutes away," Bliss said. "That environment is reflected in our product choices." "Five minutes by kangaroo," I noted. "But how far by foot?" "Six minutes," she said. "If I were to order a sex toy from you," I said, "I wouldn't want its delivery to be delayed by some Australian holiday like Michael Hutchence Day or Air Supply Eve." "When we get an order we dispatch it immediately by express so it arrives in good time regardless of the customer's location," she explained wearily. "And if there is any threat of a delay, public holiday, low stock etc., our suppliers in the U.S. and Europe send the item directly." "Any plan for Yahoo Serious-branded products?" I asked. "Hell no." "Good on ya." Previously: Counting floggers on the wall: Mr. S Leather; Icon to explain dildoes; Dildopolis revisited: rugging See also: Black Label, Sexpo Australia, Natalie Imbruglia Labels: australia, international, interviews, marital aids ¶ Tuesday, June 26, 2007 3 Comments Links to this post
Penthouse gets Bree-sic
 I have superimposed some text from the press release hyping Penthouse Digital's Smut Peddler on the official photo, so far. I hope you like the delivery in the face.Previously: Lori Lust agency explodes, survivor writes press release; Publicist: Honolulu secedes in honor of Thorn homecoming; Adult industry to sic itself on bad grammar See also: Penthouse ¶ Tuesday, June 26, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Adrianna Nicole, Lorelei Lee, and Dana DeArmond in Naughty Flipside
 This is neither a movie about asses nor about Filipinas, but instead a superbly-cast throwback to the type of movie Jim Holliday would make without the exclusionary dialogue. Here Brett Brando directs Nicole and Lee to lay a trap for a two-timing boyfriend, played by Tommy Pistol, and below Dana DeArmond chats with real-life boyfriend, Daniel.It's rare to see people smiling in porn movies, so this project validates the huge amount of money I make off this industry every year.  Stay tuned for a review tomorrow.  Previously: Something is about to happen to Lorelei Lee; Even professionals benefit from dildo etiquette; Lorelei Lee and Adrianna Nicle - just because; Gusano Negro ... See also: Naughty America Labels: adrianna nicole, because, lorelei lee, naughty america, new porn daily, WGL ¶ Tuesday, June 26, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, June 25, 2007
Doctored photo of the day
 Labels: "stormy daniels", fotodoctor, WGL ¶ Monday, June 25, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
New Porn Daily: Renae Cruz hedges her bets
 In Slutinas #4, director Juan Cuba confirms the party location with Renae Cruz."Is the fiesta in that ass?" he asks. "Si," she says, and then adds, "and in my mouth." Because today's porn consumer demands authenticity, it's important that in a title named Slutinas that the performers not only speak Spanish but also wear sombreros. Previously: Patrick, Thorn seek to be freakin' with Ricans; Loca Latina Sluts 2 See also: Platinum X Pictures Labels: dvd, latin, new porn daily, platinum x ¶ Monday, June 25, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Michelle Aston's mixed messages
 We expect our porn stars to be straightforward and to not play games with us. This is the mandate with which they were created by the United Nations in 1948.Observe, then, Michelle Aston, who says she wants to blow you and says she has a vagina but in fact would rip your nuts off on her nailed collar if ever she were to fellate you. In addition, she mislabels her moneygrotto as if to scare off speculators. I whipped out my six-pound DSM-IV and diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder on the spot. "Fucking on film is a goddamn sacred trust," I said. Previously: Pabst Blue Ribbon night with the steveporn kids; Michelle Aston will eat your girlfriend like fried chicken See also: Michelle Aston Labels: fetish, michelle aston, WGL ¶ Monday, June 25, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Erotica L.A. 2007 in review
 For the first time in the convention's history, scalpers were selling Erotica L.A. tickets."How much?" I asked a scalper, who didn't identify himself as Scalpy McScalpington, at the corner of Flower and Pico, one block from the L.A. Convention Center. "$50," he answered, and I declined. I asked him how much my press pass would go for, but he said those were easy to fake. It turns out he should know, because the LAPD busted him less than an hour later for scalping forged tickets. The three-day convention was a success, with more mainstream media coverage than ever before, as well as a significant increase in pro-sumer documentation, as about 15 percent of the attendees seemed loaded for bear with gadgetry designed for personal digital inventories of the proceedings. But each year the booth candy of Erotica L.A. look less like porn stars and more like bartenders (except Michelle Aston). This is a great compliment to the excellent crop of bartenders in Los Angeles but a sad state of affairs for a convention barred from showing too much skin or simulating sex acts. I couldn't even get around that by actually having sex with someone, because that was prohibited, too. "We can't even fuck in the bathroom," said Aiden Starr. "We've never tried," I suggested. As a consumer show, there are always exhibitors at Erotica L.A. that seem tacked on. Business card scanners, a booth selling videos of gang fights, and a row of plastic, water-filled foot massagers just didn't seem erotic to me. But what is erotic, really? A warm puppy? No. That's happiness.  Erotic is Holly Randall in a red polka dot dress smelling neither of booze nor Australia, but only of the musk she exudes as a result of her powerful attraction to me. I asked her to get behind the wheel of the AVN Racing Formula One car, co-sponsored by Wicked, Red Light District, Burning Angel, ClubJenna, and Python Pictures."Is Formula One Racing erotic?" I asked passersby. "No," said Marianna Del Amo of Irwindale, CA. "Belladonna is erotic." "Am I erotic?" I asked. "No." I asked AVN's Farley Cahen how much it would cost to affix a Gram Ponante Prix sticker to the car. "Ha ha ha!" he kept saying. I'm fucking serious. I can drive better than Joanna Angel. Pulpo, my favorite Latino porn company, was a new exhibitor. "Latinos are about ten years behind Americans in porn," said Mako, producer of Black Worm. I found this inscrutable. "What, in dumbassedness?" I asked.  "We don't do the gagging and the punching and things like that," she said. "We like to tell a story."I took about 100 pictures in my inimitable style. If I didn't get a picture of someone at her booth, I got her at the FAME Awards red carpet or on a cigarette break. Most of the more recognizable performers had microentourages to shield them between autograph signing duties, but porn conventions don't really allow for privacy beyond a curtained-off area in the larger booths, and even those do not have restroom facilities. Regan Anthony, who is about the size of my Little League trophy, walked right into my waist. "When I'm at these things, I look straight ahead and walk really fast," she said. "Otherwise everyone is asking to take your picture." "Can I take your picture?" I asked, frightened of this thing that I've become. The most crowded booth, when Jenna Jameson was there, was ClubJenna's. Otherwise it was Wicked's booth, followed closely by Tera Patrick's. Evil Angel's booth was the most treacherous. They had rented space at the last minute (I was told) and they were stuck near the back, so the crowds that came to see Belladonna had little room to negotiate. This is where people got surliest, because it was like Calcutta. At least the Jenna line had room to stretch out. As America's Beloved Porn JournalistTM I am sensitive to the needs of fans and the performers they crave. I wanted to see Little Casey ParkerTM at the WantedList booth but she and her huge hair were attracting huge lines. She called to me as if from a great distance as I walked by, and I immediately got dirty looks from the dudes waiting in line. "Sorry, dudes," I said solemnly. Because I spent my early years as a Thai aerialist, I looked forward to seeing Cirque du Soleil's vignette from "Zumanity". I've seen a few of their shows around the country, and am looking forward to seeing "The Beatles' Love", their permamnent production at the Treasure Island in Las Vegas, but "Zumanity" as staged at Erotica L.A. was underwhelming. The place isn't really set up for open air performances, and though the production, on paper, seemd suited for the crowd, it wasn't really given a chance. The striptease vignette was ten minutes long. The same was true of John Stagliano's "Fashionistas", which also has a home in Las Vegas. In theory, using Erotica L.A. audiences as a feeder pool for boobalicious Vegas tickets is a good idea, but the presentation opportunities weren't ideal. But it was a lively crowd. I hate the word "mainstream", not because it isn't accurate, but because people depend on it too much. I really think that, like cross-country motorists need to eat where the truckers eat, porn consumers should look to bartender trends in Los Angeles to see how far porn has penetrated the real world.  To that end, a lot of Erotica L.A.'s paying customers looked pornier than the people they were coming to meet. And that was sweet. It's like when I go to The Hall of Presidents in Disneyland dressed like Abraham Lincoln. Imitation is the sincerest form of whatever.The second annual FAME Awards seemed fun. I was backstage. I heard no gunshots or fisticuffs from up front, and no one showed up to my backstage lair weeping or bloody, so I assumed everything went fine. And unlike recent award shows, the performers who were nominated showed up to receive their awards. Last year's Temptation Awards and this year's Adultcon Awards suffered from a lack of interest from the stars both events sought to profit from. FAME succeeds because it has the support of AVN. While Vivid and Digital Playground were not represented with booths on the convention floor, they sent emissaries to the FAME Awards (one each, in the persons of Savannah Samson and Jesse Jane). Hustler was absent. As has been the case for the past few years, Naughty America had the best booth, with discrete rooms that reflected the styles of different performers (Gia Paloma and Lorelei Lee used the punk rock room, for example). This is a business about women, and the men who survive in it need to be cordial and have a good sense of humor. Jack Lawrence, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, and Randy Spears roamed the convention floor and women loved them. It's important, too, that these guys be gracious, else boyfriends and male hangers-on would flip out. Aside from Michelle Aston, Jack Lawrence had the dirtiest interactions with fans. He was shirtless and sporting a dildo. Women came up to him and immediately bent to suck on the dildo and get their pictures taken by giggling friends. He had to gently inform them that simulated sex was verboten. I didn't attend any of the big parties. I wanted to go to the Vivid-steve affair but I was too tired. I heard it was fun and a welcome change from the Sex Z-sponsored megaparty, which was, I heard from several attendees, a sausagefest with few porn stars and, worse, a techno version of "Sweet Home Alabama".  Other Erotica L.A. ancillary events included The Babes and Aces poker tournament to benefit breast cancer research and a seminar on the Adult Sites Advocating Child Protection (ASACP) drive to self-label adult sites with a Restricted to Adults (RTA) tag.Sasha Grey had the best outfit.  Reading ovver last year's Erotica L.A. recap, it's interesting to see how many companies and individuals are no more, adult industry-wise. Tristan Ryan? Black Widow Productions? Entice.tv? R.I.P. At least Teagan Presley, hunkered down in pregnancy with her second child, had Jesse Jane pick up her Best Ass award.It is hard to think about Erotica L.A. without considering January's AVN show. All convention centers look alike on the inside (though L.A.'s looks prettier than the Sands) and the booths companies use are stored, trucked, and reassembled depending on where the convention is located. A visitor plunked down in the middle of either convention would be unable to tell one from the other in terms of the type of fans or the type of porn stars; only when he considered the scale, the stakes, and the surroundings would he be able to tell if he were in Vegas or L.A. Erotica L.A. is certainly smaller than the January Vegas show, but as a harbinger of consumer contentment with the adult industry this show was a success. As I look through the pictures, though, I am amazed at the lack of skin. If next month's Mastery in Transformational Training convention has more boobies, I'll be pissed. See a full gallery here. Previously: Erotica L.A. in review (2006) See also: Erotica L.A., L.A. Convention Center Labels: erotica L.A. ¶ Sunday, June 24, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, June 22, 2007
An awkward conversation with Heather Vandeven about her rubberized vagina
 Last night at the Babes & Aces poker tournament in Inglewood-by-the-Sea, I talked with Penthouse/Ninnworx moonlighter Heather Vandeven about the Topco replica of her ladypartsTM."You mean my pussy and ass?" she asked sweetly. "Yes," I said. "They actually covered my pussy and ass with goop," she said, "and made a model of them. Then they did it to my face, my lips, everything." "Really?" "Yes. Have you tried them out?" "Er." I felt like she was asking me if I'd read her diary. "I got your P & A and Juli Ashton's P & A on the same day," I said. "Did you put them on your wall as a kind of collage?" she asked. "That's a great idea, but No," I said. "But I did take them out and held one in each hand." The Heather Vandeven P & A and the Juli Ashton P & A aren't the same. I was sure they would be. Vandeven's is/are smaller. I thought of the expression "to take a flying fuck at" something. That is how I would imagine having a go at these disembodied pieces of Heather Vandeven. It didn't seem right, but then again most people don't get to have an amiable conversation with the delightful Vandeven in Inglewood, where I once saw Neil Diamond. Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Heather Vandeven's Vibrating Cyberskin Pet Pussy And Ass (fleshbot); A Vuur by any other name; Heather Vuur is a good sport See also: Topco Sales, Hotel Heather Labels: heather vandeven, interviews, marital aids, penthouse, topco, WGL ¶ Friday, June 22, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Riley Shy deserves medal, towel
 Todd Todd is a photographer who pretty much knows everybody in the adult business. When I was new to AVN in 2003, he took me around the convention floor and introduced me to every performer in the building, including these ladies. Photographers need to keep the action moving so their subjects don't get bored or self-conscious, so it is interesting listening to the diminutive and white Todd Todd chatting amiably with O.G. Mudbone, possessor of a 14" cock and a mouth full of silver (which I guess the former can almost reach); Todd Todd's patter becomes blacker by the minute as Mudbone cruises a Valley neighborhood looking for Riley Shy in Pariah Pictures' Freaks of Cock 2. None of the tiny white women exposed to these Gram-hammers-gone-dark is herself a freak, so I guess the title must refer to the cocks themselves, only slightly smaller than mine, which is the size of a bus you'd drive senior citizens to the casino in. But where I usually get tired of Chatty Cathy gonzo directors, it is fun listening to the interaction between T2 and his male talent. Upon walking into Shy's yard, Mudbone looks at a tree and says, "That tree looks like it has asses all over it."  After this, things go from pleasant to surreal. Not only is Riley Shy astounded by the size of this guy, America itself is astounded at the amount of the nut Mudbone busts on her face. I hope that didn't sound crude; there is really no other way to describe it. It would require an extra seat on an airplane.Prior to it happening, Shy says with porn-standard bravado: "Oh yeah? You gonna mess up my pretty face?" and then, during the 30 seconds of unloading, she says, "Are you fucking kidding me?" It is at times like this that I think I've watched something real. Riley Shy really made her money that day. Previously: Porn of the Moment: "Cuckold" (fleshbot) See also: FuckYouCash Labels: dvd, riley shy, the horror ¶ Friday, June 22, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Zumanity, orgasm contest, burlesque shows to highlight Erotica L.A.
 A three-dancer mini-troupe from Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity will perform a portion of their Las Vegas show tomorrow at Erotica L.A."Zumanity is the 'sensual side of Cirque du Soleil'," said the Montreal-based company's spokesman, John McCoy. "It goes hand in hand with the sexy feel of Erotica L.A." McCoy, who has never been to Erotica L.A. and to whom I give credit for not knowing how funny that statement was, said that Cirque du Soleil rarely stages travel-sized versions of its shows, but does make exceptions for events like the Jay Leno show or award show appearances. The company has several shows running permanently in Las Vegas, including Ka and the Beatles' Love, and one in Orlando, as well as full-scale traveling shows that set up on the outskirts of major cities. The trio of Zumanity dancers includes Jonel Earl, who was featured in Playboy in a pictorial with the cast. The rigorous dancing, pliancy, and athleticism required of Cirque du Soleil performers has led to charges that the company only casts orphans. This is not true. The Zumanity striptease snippet will take place tomorrow at 4 p.m. on the "Sensual Stage" (I am collecting royalties from event organizers for naming an edifice after this time in my life), followed by an "orgasm contest". Click here to print out a full schedule. See also: Zumanity, Erotica L.A. Labels: erotica L.A., events ¶ Friday, June 22, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Erotica L.A. cancelled
 Erotica L.A. 2007 was cancelled this morning, several hours before the three-day consumer porn convention was scheduled to begin. Organizers said the move ensured visitors' expectations could remain pure and no one would be disappointed.I stood in a room overlooking the convention floor as workers who had just finished setting up booths began taking them down. AVN President Paul Fishbein, always like a dad to me, took me aside. "Grams, do you know who Schrödinger's Cat is?" he didn't ask. "No," I replied, sitting at his feet. "I'm Australian." "Trying to prove a point of quantum mechanics to Albert Einstein," Fishbein said, "Erwin Schrödinger posited - and I'm paraphrasing so you'll understand - that if you were presented a box and told that there was a cat in it - " " - a very nice cat - " AVN publisher Darren Roberts didn't interrupt. " - your expectations of the cat in the box had unlimited potential as long as you never opened the box." The three of us sat and pondered this. Tera Patrick walked into the room, and then walked out. "So you're saying that I would never have a chance to be disappointed if Erotica L.A. never happened, that it would remain the sum total of all the promise represented by the press releases?" I asked. "Yes," Fishbein said benevolently, helping Steve Orenstein disassemble the Wicked booth with a hand drill, in the way of their forefathers. "Now Erotica L.A. 2007 can be whatever you want it to be," he said gently, "because we never opened that box." "Is that why you fired me from AVN, so I would never learn that disappointment?" I asked. "Oh Hell yeah," he said. *** None of the above happened. Erotica L.A. opens today at 4 p.m. for ticketholders. There will be a press conference an ASACP press conference at 3:30 detailing a proposed ratings system for adult websites at 3:30. Previously: Erotica L.A. (2006) in review See also: Erotica L.A. Labels: avn, erotica L.A., events ¶ Friday, June 22, 2007 4 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Male performers protest L.A. Direct Models' discrimination
 Talent agency L.A. Direct Models, which recently instituted a "Girl of the Month" award, is under attack by some members of its male talent roster for "creating an environment in which women are alone singled out for praise."L.A. Direct has recognized Alexis Love and Harmony in recent months, granting them their own "Girl of the Month" interview pages. "All (the women) have to do is lie there; we do all the work," said one disgruntled porn stud. "You ever try to fake a pop shot, dude? Can't be done." "He's right, Bro," agreed his good buddy, exchanging high fives with him over a woman they'd just DP'd, one high heel hanging off, checking her MySpace on a Sidekick and paying no attention. "We're lucky if she looks us in the eye. That's why I wear sunglasses all the time; I can't stand the rejection." L.A. Direct Models currently lists 25 male performers and almost 120 females. Male performers tend to make, at most, 60 percent of what their female scene partners earn. Furthermore, one actor said, "We've got to drive ourselves to the set, we've got to take care of our own Viagra, and the directors bitch at us if we're not hard all 16 hours they might or might not use us on a set." He paused at a table full of enemas, douches, and Diet Pepsi. "You think we even get a little gift basket of body spray? Fuck No. I had to buy my own breath mints before I came here today." L.A. Direct Models owner Derek Hay was outraged at the charge. "The L.A. Direct Lion does not stand for discrimination," he didn't say. "The L.A. Direct Lion rears on its hind legs and spits at discrimination {unintelligible} That's a camel? {unintelligible}. Well, the L.A. Direct Lion doesn't like it either." He said he is considering opening the Girl of the Month category to men. "But they'll have to buy their own fucking trophies," he said. Previously: Bing the Merciless; Dial H for Herpes See also: L.A. Direct Models Labels: agency ¶ Thursday, June 21, 2007 2 Comments Links to this post
Memoirs of a
 While Shy Love does not set pen to paper or address the camera in Sinsation's Memoirs of a Madame, thus making the title misleading, the movie does reveal little-known truths about upscale escort services previously possessed only by viewers of late-night Skinemax:1. Bordellos comprise a rigid hierarchy presided over by an icy and absolute ruler, so possessed of sexual self-confidence that her attendants stand at attention, slack-jawed, around her. 2. It is every street hooker's dream to manage a brothel for someone else. 3. No one has a conversation in the breakroom, like every other corporate environment in America; the business gets done in sparse offices and well-lit bedrooms. This movie made me think, if these are hookers, who were all those people in Mexico? Shudder. Read the review here. Previously: San Francisco celebrates hookers as "least deviant by comparison"; So much more convenient than doing rails off hookers; It's not 'sex work' when you're just lying there See also: Sinsation Pictures Labels: dvd, prosties, reviews, shy love, sinsation ¶ Thursday, June 21, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, David Lee Roth
 As you well know, I should be the last person consulted about adult website design (because a world in which someone would ask me about website design means one in which Lurk Ford, Rock and Roll Gene Ross, Mike South, Tod Hunter, and everyone on MySpace are already dead) but I feel XBiz is mixing messages in its relaunch campaign, which incorporates a French-made statue, a Van Halen song, and Marvel Comics typesetting, none of which shouts "porn" to me (unless new XBiz publisher Tom Hymes' bold new vision involves an Ellis Island torch-fisting scene for Spiderman).Regardless, XBiz tersely rejected my substitute submission, which I felt incorporated some of its core themes.  Oh well. I hear AVN is going with the Powerpuff Girls and Motorhead.Previously: Trade mags preparing site relaunches; Adult industry to sic itself on bad grammar; XFanz to stage erotica festival, perhaps erotically See also: XBiz Labels: hype, trademags, website, xbiz ¶ Thursday, June 21, 2007 2 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Audrey Bitoni: Comin' At Ya!
 The moments I like best in porn movies are usually the transitions. A lot of directors will endeavor to edit them out but when, every now and then, the viewer is treated to the quick hop-off and hop-on between positions, it's a treat. Why? Because no director has an opinion about how a performer should get off someone and then get back on; it is always a surprise to see how they do it.This scene with Audrey Bitoni takes place in Sophia Santi's Juice. Bitoni's mounting surface is Marco Banderas, whom I edited out because all that was visible of him was his hair, and that seemed to spring from Bitoni's armpit. This isn't a fetish site, after all. It is because I care about you that I use Photoshop occasionally; to spare you. Previously: The Mysterious Audrey Bitoni (fleshbot); Hannah Harper: Passion is to magma as squirting is to lava; Digital Playground's cavalcade of synonyms; Jack's Playground #32: S.O.S. See also: Digital Playground Labels: "digital playground", audrey bitoni, because, sophia santi, WGL ¶ Wednesday, June 20, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
The sacred semiotics of the stigmafoot
 The SiFeet Pussy Foot, a replica of a size-6 female right (or left) foot, is marketed with the attached image, depicting a pair of bound feet, one with a vagina in it.You'd think that a foot with a vagina in it would be enough for foot fetishists, but the bonus is that the marital aid recalls the wounds of Our Lord, but in vagina form. In general, smaller feet are in vogue for fetishists. Gina Lynn's feet - size 4.5 - are about the standard size. A size 6 is somewhat mannish, putting one in mind of the feet of a simple carpenter 2,000 years ago, when people were smaller. We traditionally see Jesus' foot wounds, 20 percent of the stigmata, from the front. But it stands (ha ha!) to reason that the nail would go all the way through to the crucifix, leaving a vagina-sized exit wound. Unless we are considering birth, we never think of the vagina as an exit, only an entrance. Since the New Testament was not particularly graphic, might the virgin birth have taken place somewhere near the shoes? This image has disturbed me. Are there children born with vaginas in their feet? Parents probably try to keep that news from the popular press. It's hard to imagine walking that way, much less leaving footprints in the sand. Previously: (Pop) Shot in the foot; Girls Lie See also: JT's Stockroom Labels: feet, jesus, marital aids ¶ Wednesday, June 20, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
This week's Lick My Love Pump award
 You remember in This Is Spinal Tap when Nigel Tufnel played several bars of a moving piano ballad in "the saddest of all keys" and then announced that the song was called "Lick My Love Pump"?You will agree that this picture is lovely, gauzy as it is and off-center. The title, which I've obscured, was etched in a thin, elfin, cursive font. Kina Kai and Jasmine aren't looking at us like cynical porn chicks but as wholesome and innocent natives, perplexed but not put out that we have stumbled upon them. You'd expect that the title of the movie would reflect the presentation, but you would be wrong. This movie is called Island Pussy Lickers. Previously: Seriously, Caylian Curtis: don't do that if it hurts you; Mature 20, Ancient shark zero; See also: Pure Play Media Labels: asian, dvd, kina kai, LMLP, new porn daily, pure play ¶ Tuesday, June 19, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Trade mags preparing site relaunches
 Because no one likes the old and used, both of the adult business' trade publications have spent the Spring rolling their new websites to the launchpad.AVN has been tinkering with its design for at least six months, and XBiz is reportedly planning a relaunch within the next few weeks. Both sites currently look similar; this is understandable because both are drawing from the same well of advertisers and press releases in a very small industry. Both sites have a lead story with a graphic (AVN's pops more) topping four smaller stories with graphics. The graphics for AVN's second-tier stories are mashed together while XBiz puts spaces between theirs, like Belladonna's teeth. I love Belladonna. AVN is doubly-NSFW because it runs Flash movie clips that start upon the load of the page. Visitors must be quick on the draw else coworkers will discover their dirty secret. XBiz does not have this feature, though its daughter site, XFanz, runs surfer-controlled movie clips. Until recently, XBiz' site was very busy with affiliate program ads; that has died down, mercifully, though the site scrolls beyond the level of comfort. AVN's site is compact. It will be interesting to see what both sides do; XBiz is currently beating AVN in Alexa ratings, and XFanz looks much better than apples-to-oranges AVN consumer site AVNInsider*. It would be smart to build more interactivity into AVN's site and maybe blend XFanz into XBiz. XBiz is the employer of a lot of people who used to work at AVN and therefore benefits from some institutional knowledge (all perfectly legal, of course) about the industry giant. AVN is now in its third decade of operation and benefits from a solid foundation of experience with the adult industry. AVN also has a record of hiring people who are porn fans, for better or worse. My impression of AVN is that people like founder Paul Fishbein, early editor Gene Ross (who is no longer there), and Senior Editor Mark Kernes, all of whom were with the publication since the 1980s, like (or liked) porn and wanted to make a business out of covering it. I feel about XBiz that founder Alec Helmy thought that porn would be a good vehicle for his business goals. It is a subtle distinction. Both philosophies work, and filter through the complicated hierarchies of both companies. Both philosophies are reflected in the editorial styles of the publications. How is a company's philosophy about porn manifested in its website design? Fucked if I know. If one took that approach, my philosophy about porn would be that it is sloppy and tinged with Verdana. My role in keeping both publications afloat is that I write a blog for XBiz and I drink with AVN's editorial staff. I can do no more to keep these gargantuans from tearing each other - and this very industry - asunder. *AVNInsider.com currently redirects to AVN.com Labels: avn, trademags, website, xbiz ¶ Tuesday, June 19, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Man's Ruin party Friday
 Man's Ruin, the second movie from Octavio Winkytiki, will be launched with a release party this Friday at Miss Kitty's Parlour, better known as the Dragonfly.Because of the state I found myself in every time I went there, it took me about two years of attending events at Miss Kitty's and saying "This looks like the Dragonfly; the Dragonfly must be around here somewhere" before I realized that Miss Kitty's was a club night at the Dragonfly. I recorded a commentary track on Man's Ruin with Smokin' Mary Jane but I have heard whispers that it has been destroyed. I'm sure the movie is still worth seeing. Melody Gore is the official hostess, but various steveporn kids will doubtless be in attendance. Click here for a printable pass. Previously: XFanz porns burlesque; The Whipping Hour; Rebelle Rousers on location; And then the Bunny showed up: The Kill Girl Kill party See also: Winkytiki, Vivid-steve ¶ Tuesday, June 19, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
I <3 Suckable
 Each week I put away a few of the movies that are sent to me for mention on this and some of the other sites I write for. When I found Rob Spallone's Chocolate MILF with a woman named Delotta Brown on the cover, well, I knew I had a winner.The name Delotta Brown hearkened back to the sassy hootchie ladies that populated the blaxploitation films of the early 1970's. I know this because our school district was so poor we could only afford to rent Blackula every three months for assemblies instead of Channel One television. But then I noticed Suckable. I have a feeling that Suckable turns everyone she meets into Groucho Marx. Observe: "Hi, I'm Suckable." "I'll say you are." Suckable seemed charming. At one point during her scene with Byron Long she said, "Oh I have to return the favor," and he said, "You'd better sit on my dick." But still I wondered: Why she had decided to call herself Suckable? Then I saw it, and it was extraordinary. I thought for a second that she was giving birth and that the child was exiting the way Superman flies. Her clit looks like a finger. Previously: My Big Fat Gang Bang: Corpulent Converge on Kat Kleevage; Your week in MILFs See also: VCA Pictures Labels: dvd, MILF, race movies ¶ Tuesday, June 19, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, June 18, 2007
New Porn Daily: Strapped by a Ghost
 As you know, I am in continual contact with the spirit world (because it owes me money). That is why I looked forward to Viv Thomas' Sirens (only slightly a ripoff of this movie), in which a Czechoslovakian real estate agent has trouble selling a home because there are three dead hotties haunting it.If one subscribes to the belief that specters return approximating their most recent living form, each of the ghosts died after shaving her pubic area. The dead spend most of their time slowly bobbing up and down in the pool and rubbing themselves, but occasionally one wanders into the house, as we see above, and manipulates a strap-on attachment into the terrestrial parts of the real estate agent. I was unconvinced, but I'm sure GhostMILFs isn't too far away. Previously: Porn star or vengeful Japanese Ghost? (fleshbot); "She never sleeps" See also: Viv Thomas Labels: new porn daily, viv thomas ¶ Monday, June 18, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Don't expect Jenna Haze Oil Orgy at Blockbuster any time soon
 In a move that clearly gives the edge to Blu-ray in the format war between it and HD-DVD, Blockbuster Entertainment has sided with the Sony/Phillips product as it begins to sell and rent high-definition discs.The DVD market, despite a steady downturn over the past five years, is still estimated to net $24 billion annually. Of porn companies releasing in the next-generation formats, CD Girls is the only to have released in Blu-ray, while Vivid has been promising a Blu-Ray version of Debbie Does Dallas...Again for more than six months (the standard-def version is available). Wicked and Digital Playground have both committed to HD-DVD. The above paragraph is moot in terms of consumers getting Blu-ray porn at their neighborhood Blockbuster; the company doesn't carry hardcore and is often accused of censoring its softcore titles. Only if Jenna Haze wore an Operation Rescue t-shirt (rather than a CD Girls t-shirt) whilst being hot-oiled might the Viacom property permit it. None of the major online DVD distributors have a Blu-Ray/HD-DVD section yet. "There aren't enough titles to support the shelf space," a rep for Gamelink said. Previously: Who-ray came first?; "Porn flatters itself," sniffs Blu-ray; Tabling Blu-ray, embracing HD-DVD (fleshbot); Wicked decides on HD-DVD See also: CDGirls, Vivid, Blockbuster, Blockbuster - Blu-Ray All the Way (forbes.com) Labels: blu ray, CDGirls, dvd, jenna haze, technology, vivid ¶ Monday, June 18, 2007 2 Comments Links to this post
Friday, June 15, 2007
Gusano Negro en el Valle de Porn, con un desvío al Jimmyland
 I rarely watch porn movies cover to cover but this week I watched three (almost four) of them. I didn't intend for it to be this way, but I'm glad it happened.Modern Progressive Wicked's Porn Valley (doubtless seeking the red-hot branding association my site provides) was a well-made, solid, entertaining, and efficient porn movie. It didn't pretend to be anything other than a sex movie with a story, and director Michael Raven delivered a title that both respected and rewarded the audience. The Good Old Days Weren't Always Good VCA's Jim Holliday Box Set (of which I struggled through Brown Eyed Blondes and Absolutely Adorable) made me feel awful. I feel like I've committed a sacrilege for not bowing at Holliday's (deceased) feet, because his genius casting of large combinations of bright, bouncy babes who smiled at the camera should have been enough. The adult industry mourns his absence (he died in 2004). But his movies continually squander that goodwill, as they are not only filled with self-important and masturbatory dialogue but also (and worse) require that the words be uttered by people who for the most part cannot act. While Holliday surely loved his "Angels", he didn't want them to appear smart, or at the very least smarter than him. If anyone can recommend a Jim Holliday movie that just showcased his talent as Porn Valley's best casting director, or that had a script that was coherent and didn't prove an obstacle to his hand-picked cast, I'd love to see it. I don't like speaking ill of the dead. The full text of the Jim Holliday Box Set review will be in next month's XBizVideo in my column with Joanne Cachapero. I've Seen the Future, Brother: It Is Murder Finally, Pulpo Inc.'s first feature, Black Worm, is an ambitious project that is heavy on the Mexican crime drama with a touch of surrealism. I'm told the movie cost $150k and the production value shows. But the script is too long and the distance between sex scenes is often unforgivable. I have no doubt these guys will do better next time, because they hit a solid double their first time at bat, with a chance at third. Previously: Holliday at the Car Wash; Eye Candy redux; The Visitors See also: Thoughtful Reviews by Gram Labels: dvd, jim holliday, lorena sanchez, michael raven, pulpo, reviews, wicked ¶ Friday, June 15, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Pussy Party 21 caption contest
 Some early contenders:
Previously: Hunters gather funds, but don't hit lotto at Grotto; Scenes from a Pussy Party See also: Cousin Stevie Labels: "nicki hunter" "cousin stevie", contest, dvd, pussy party, sunny lane ¶ Thursday, June 14, 2007 5 Comments Links to this post
Girls Gone Litigious: Francis sued again in sex for shirts scandal
 Panama City, while it might have been the dream destination of Ashley Judd in Ruby in Paradise, is also the hot place to go if you want to sue "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis.Francis was arrested there in April for contempt of court stemming from a pair of 2003 charges that the "GGW" crew had filmed underage women for the bestselling video series. Francis has since been transported to a Nevada jail. There he also faces judgment on federal tax evasion charges. Brooke Patsolic and Christina Brose were under 21 in 2003 when they say they were enticed to partially disrobe and engage in sexual acts with one another for GGW cameras. They say they were assured their filmed sexcapades would not be made public, and if signatures to the contrary were produced, that those were either faked or the result of being plied with alcohol. The upshot is a breach of contract suit, filed in Bay County Federal Court on June 11, for the women were in fact featured in Girls Gone Wild: Endless Spring Break Vol. 6 and in trailers advertising other videos. They say that they were filmed somewhere in the state of Florida. It is amazing what people will do for the promise of shirts and hats, and it is dubious, though not inconceivable, that the women believed their exploits would not be released in video form. We believe what we want to believe. Once I paid $35 for a hat in Disneyland. If I'm remorseful about that, imagine how they feel. Previously: Adventure Sex 4; Girls Gone Dumb See also: No Joe Girls, "Baby, Give Me A Kiss" (latimes) Labels: girls gone wild, joe francis, legal ¶ Thursday, June 14, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Belladonna wants you to be happy
 "I don't care what they love me for," Belladonna said yesterday. "I just care that they love me."Belladonna will be interacting with the "they", her fans, from June 22-24, appearing all three days of Erotica L.A. at the Evil Angel booth (clap four times) deep in the heart of the L.A. Convention Center. "If they like me in my long-haired, thicker period or today's version, I'm still flattered." Her eagerness to please is different from that of the standard contract star. Belladonna is arguably the most popular gonzo girl in the world, known for doing just about anything (we'll get to what she won't do later) but also willing to give voice to her ambivalence about it. She said in a recent interview with the Salt Lake Weekly that she has tried to ease herself out of performing but she always convinces herself - or gets convinced - to stay. "In the beginning I was very open," she said. "I thought more of what the other person than what I did. That feeling is still there, but it has changed." The once and sometime Michelle Sinclair has a long history of customer service, having worked at Sears, Victoria's Secret, Subway, and 7-11. "I love meeting fans," she said, "and I read their comments and e-mails. One such e-mail asked if she would try "rosebudding", or a forced rectal prolapse (the involuntary version, when the rectum is pulled out upon the withdrawla of another object, like a penis, is called a "red sock". I learned this at the U.N. Council on Boning last month). "That's not really my style," Belladonna said.  What is her style is intense contact with girls. "I like girls who can go along with me," she said. She is shooting this month with the likes of Sandra Romain and Lorelei Lee who, like the song says, "can take a lot of pain."I asked if the fan experience ever got to her. Porn stars are likelier than their Hollywood counterparts to be seen out and about, and the availability of clinical pictures as well as often-unintentionally revealing BTS footage sometimes gives fans a proprietary feeling. "People are surprisingly respectful," she said. "Maybe because I'm so open people don't bother me, especially when I'm out with my (two-year-old) daughter." Instead, people will often keep their distance when Bella is not on the job. "They'll e-mail me and say, 'I was standing in line with you at Whole Foods last night but I didn't wanmt to bother you'." Previously: Belladonna in a haystack See also: Belladonna, Erotica LA, Sex Machine (slweekly.com) Labels: "vena virago" wgl, belladonna, erotica L.A., interviews ¶ Wednesday, June 13, 2007 5 Comments Links to this post
Trina Michaels goes straight inta Compton
 Trina Michaels will be dancing at Heartbreakers in Compton, IL this Friday and Saturday.I asked Michaels if she presents strip club patrons with anything "extra". "Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move," she did not say. Michaels has also debuted a YouTube blog, in which she details how wearing high heels and short shorts contributed to her driving away from a gas station with the pump still attached. Previously: Trina Michaels for Industry; Barbara Summer, Rita Faltoyano, and Trina Michaels look frank, surprised, and wary, respectively See also: Trina Michaels' YouTube blog Labels: events, strippers, trina michaels ¶ Wednesday, June 13, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Iran calls porn performers "Corruptors of the World", says nothing of porn publicists
 According to the Associated Press, Iran's Guardian Council, the country's constitutional interpreter, is scheduled to vote on a resolution to deem those involved in the production of pornography "Corruptors of the World", the Koran's ultimate breach of morality.Convicted World Corruptors could face execution. Observers believe the measures stem from the alleged sex tape of Iranian TV personality Zahra Amir Ebrahimi, who denies having been in a sex tape but is in jail anyway, along with the man who released it. Vivid and Red Light District are not involved, probably because the Iranian version of PayPal is so difficult to figure out. Read the AP story here. Acme Andersson writes:
Whatever happens, Kim Kardashian will be safe. Previously: Squirting and terrorism See also: Iran moves to execute porn stars, The Koran Online (no matches for "Corruptor of the World") Labels: casey parker, government, international, legal, terrorism ¶ Wednesday, June 13, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
Affable Jesse Jane punctures fan's lung
 The fan to the left smiles bravely as Jesse Jane's rock hard right breast presses slowly though her rib cage at a recent Allentown, PA strip club appearance."I can think of worse ways to go," the fan didn't wheeze, wishing that, like her friend to the far right, she'd only injured her elbow on Jane's well-toned groin. Like the "Ghost Shirts" of the Lakota Sioux, the nipple-penetrated "Jesse Shirts" are now preserved at Harvard's Peabody Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology. Previously: Jesse Jane to ask them to dance, dance with them slow See also: Jesse Jane, Ghost Dance Labels: jesse jane, strippers ¶ Wednesday, June 13, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
"Where do you find these girls?"
 ...is one of my favorite quotes (of many) from Pornfidelity 8, a collection of encounters Kelly Madison and her husband, Ryan, have with porn talent who are paid not to act like porn talent until they are brought home to reveal telltale Brazilian waxes, rib removals, coccygeal butterfly tattoos, and my business cards.The Madisons' groovy relationship is much like the one my concubine and I have here at Gram Ponante Estates, Stables, Velodrome, and Topiary Maze (save for the fact that the Madisons tend to bring home guests who are still alive. O God I've said too much). Read the review here. Previously: Kelly Madison: Why Titties?; Kelly Madison returns to the womb See also: Pornfidelity Labels: dvd, kelly madison, reviews ¶ Tuesday, June 12, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, June 11, 2007
Seriously, Caylian Curtis: Don't do that if it hurts you
 I don't know Caylian Curtis but I already feel protective about her. Look at her here on the beach in Pierre Woodman's Amazonian Dreams, shot in Brazil in the northern Tranny-Free Zone: either she's touching her labia and her left breast hurts or it's the other way around. The secret is to touch both breasts and The Labes, as professionals call them, simultaneously. Also, take out the belly button ring; everyone knows the treacherous Amazon River Navel Asp likes to devour the fleshy area around them and make a nest. Caylian Curtis looks like Jesse Jane got her chocolate mixed up with Casey Parker's peanut butter. If you know what I mean. Previously: Sex City review; Sorry, but all you'll get is the sword See also: Woodman Entertainment Labels: casey parker, caylian curtis, jesse jane, pierre woodman ¶ Monday, June 11, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
(Pop) Shot in the foot
 Last week I watched a movie that wasn't necessarily a foot fetish movie in which Katja Kassin nevertheless jerked off her partner with her feet. It was not the first time I thought, Is there anything Katja Kassin can't do?Still, that wouldn't have worked for me. I would have been worried about subdermal corns or muscle spasms. What if Katja got a charley horse in her powerful calves? No more Gram-hammer, that's what. In slow motion, we would have watched it arc over the air hockey table. "Entschuldigung," she would say. Saturday I visited the set of Kick-Ass Pictures' foot fetish movie Barefoot Confidential. Kick Ass isn't strictly a fetish house, but its owner, Mark Kulkis, is strict about certain things, which is admirable in a business in which teens aren't always teens and MILFs aren't always female. It was Kick Ass and (former) contract star Mary Carey who parted ways when the latter got a boob job; Kick-Ass requires talent with no surgical enhancements. And so there were rules about the display of feet in the scene I watched, between the delightful Micah Moore and Jack Lawrence, a guy who should be President of the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce for his genuinely friendly manner.  "The foot has to be visible in each shot of the movie," I was told. "And no French Tipped toenails.""French dipped?" I asked. You're damn right I wouldn't want to see Micah Moore dipping her feet in Au Jus, nice as she was. I hadn't visited a Kick Ass function in a while, so I made a point of introducing myself. I hate when people show up, eat your hamburgers, and don't say Hello. There was that moment on the set, after I'd been introduced to director Glen Baren and walked behind the camera, that Moore asked Lawrence, "Who's this guy?" One thing that I wish producers would do when inviting press to sets is to let the talent know beforehand. Even the biggest exhibitionist likes to know who the audience is. I explained myself quickly, having forgotten my Gram Ponante: America's Beloved Porn Journalist satin jacket in the wash. The scene was called "Barefoot Vegan". The script called for Moore to be an escort who refused to let Lawrence near her because he was a carnivore, but she'd let him suck on her toes. I give the screenwriter points for reality, because money changed hands before anything happened and she called it a "donation" (I also would have accepted "tip"). There was also a subtext of buyer's remorse; Lawrence had already forked over the cash before Moore dropped the bomb. This happened to me when I bet on the Ducks in the Preakness. The actors improvised dialogue, which only added value to the scene. I realize the following line might seem crude to read, but it was hilarious in person. "I can tell you're a vegan," Lawrence said, "because your butt-hole is tiny. You've got a spaghetti-shitting butthole." Like Uber Ego, another company that releases fetish movies that uphold the standards of people who subscribe to that fetish, Kick-Ass took the niche seriously.  "Could you spread your toes a little?" Baren asked Moore. "We need to fill the frame with the foot."As feet go, Moore has great feet. But as a mathematician I was looking at her ass. I could teach geometry to lobotomites with her ass. She can make her ass into excellent examples of equilateral and scalene triangles. Previously: Mary Carey hosts a happening; Mia and Ava Rose in Double Trouble; See also: Kick Ass Pictures, Barefoot Confidential Labels: "set visits", feet, fetish, kick ass ¶ Monday, June 11, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
The Black Toilet of Lust
 When I write my book implicating you all, this is what I'll call it.I was at the property of performer/entrepreneur Lori Lust the other day, the house having been rented for a shoot. It was an elegant but not ostentatious house in Northridge, near the faultline of the 1994 earthquake and across the street from a church. There were Beanie Babies in their original packaging in glass display cases as well as coffee table books in the bathroom. There was Wi-Fi Internet and a two-story living room. There was also a black toilet. The porn scene was going on behind me but I didn't care. "I have never seen a black toilet," I said to myself. "Neither a white toilet painted black, nor a toilet so dirty that it had become black. This is a toilet that has always been black." I wondered if this were an omen of some kind. If so, did it bode well or ill that the seat was up? "There's no toilet paper," I added. Previously: Lori Lust Agency explodes, survivor writes press release; Lori Lust: Girl wrangler See also: Lori Lust Agency Labels: business, found, lori lust, toilet ¶ Monday, June 11, 2007 2 Comments Links to this post
Sixty Seconds with Memphis Monroe
 Memphis Monroe has proven the exception to the rule of contract performers not having absolute control of their websites, "soft"-launching MemphisMonroe.com this month."I shoot most of the content from Indianapolis," Monroe said (she lives in Louisville, Kentucky, just down I-65). According to Monroe, Hustler gave the reins of MemphisMonroe.com back to her after having control of it in the early part of her contract with the company. She had registered that domain and nine others in 2005. She now runs MemphisMonroe.com with the help of the Indianapolis crew for whom she started her career as a nude model, the webmasters of PantyhoseAddict. Hustler imposes no restrictions on what she can do for her site, Monroe said, "so I get to really show fans all access to my life." Monroe chose her name from a combination of Memphis, TN, Marilyn Monroe and, she said, Nicolas Cage's character in Gone in 60 Seconds. Previously: Derby Day for Memphis Monroe; End of the Summer See also: Memphis Monroe, Hustler Labels: "contract girls", hustler, memphis monroe, website, WGL ¶ Monday, June 11, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, June 08, 2007
Whither Texas Presley?
 As summer approaches, many porn companies are releasing reissues or compilations. That's how Texas Presley showed up in my mailbox. She was great. In just a few scenes shot from 2005 through (I think) 2006, she established herself as a cross between a steveporn girl, a fetish model, a brassy, busty vixen, and James K. Polk, our 11th President.(In that their last names began with P.) Texas soon dropped the Presley and, it is said, began flaking on shoots and raising her rates, thus pricing herself out of being hired. Perhaps she didn't really want it that much. Perhaps she moved down the street from me and changed her name to Lucyk Aramian.  Either way, it's nice to see her again and, if her disposition turns out to have been Option 2, maybe I will see her at the Little Armenia Street Fair.Previously: Craving Big Cocks: Not Canadian; Blade: Extravaganza tasted like sugarcane; Report: Bitches evil Labels: because, texas presley, WGL ¶ Friday, June 08, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Energy drink drinking nudes
 Here are Ryder Skye, Regan Anthony, and Rachel Starr shilling Liquid Ice Energy Drink on KSEXRadio by virtue of being naked near it. Liquid Ice is not a sponsor of this website, simply because there is no safe way to mix it with Jagermeister. "Liquid Ice" employs what rhetoriticians call an oxymoron; it is like saying Solid Gas.Naturally, if it is a choice between Liquid Ice and Solid Gas in terms of what you want naked girls advertising, I'd pick Liquid Ice every time. Still, it was tasty on its own. I would probably drink it if I were a truck driver, but my crank recipe is pretty solid.  Notice how when looking from left to right the ladies' smiles get bigger, culminating in Starr's megawatt choppers. This does nothing but prove that our Western style of reading is the balls."The West is the best" - Jim Morrison. Previously: Investing in Regan Anthony; Wankus out at KSEX See also: KSEXRadio, Liquid Ice, Ryder Skye, Tony Batman Labels: ksex, pop, Rachel Starr, regan anthony, Ryder Skye ¶ Friday, June 08, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Gram's NicheAlertTM: TeenMILFs
 When we were younger, any nudity was exciting. National Geographic topless pygmies, Museum of Science childbirth exhibits, and homeless people rutting in the alley behind Pizza Hut were fair game.People in the know would try to tell us that we weren't supposed to be affected by that sort of thing; it was all natural and not intended to appeal to our developing prurient interests. Wrong! It's true, though, that as adult content became more and more accessible and professional (it doesn't take much to make it seem professional; usually it's just a higher wattage bulb), a loinclothed nomad no longer did the trick. Thus niches were born. According to the United Nations Council on Porning, a new niche is created once every two days, up from twice weekly in 2005. A growing trend is "sub-niching", which is the division of established niches. Thus TeenMILFs is the logical daughter of the teen niche and the MILF niche. Officially, a TeenMILF has to be an 18- or 19-year-old Mother I'd Like to Fuck, but as we have found in these virtual pages it is quite likely that the sub-niche will expand and devolve into babysitters, young-looking trophy wife stepmoms, and Moms I Don't Want to Fuck. Statisticians at Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Yurt, Dojo, and Tannery predict that the TeenMILF niche will further subdivide into Asian TeenMILF, "Chocolate" TeenMILF and Plumper TeenMILF by early 2008. Previously: All Fed Up: Oh no you didn't; Porn Review Haikus: Niche Edition (fleshbot) Labels: because, MILF, nichealert ¶ Friday, June 08, 2007 2 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Jesse Jane to ask them to dance, dance with them slow
 Jesse Jane will be dancing at Erv's BYO Gentlemen's Club on Airport Rd. in Allentown, PA June 8 and 9. The Digital Playground star and Miss Iron, Coke, Chromium, Steel 2004-2006 will be performing two shows nightly."All the promises your teachers gave?" Jane did not say, "If you work hard? If you behave? Well, we're gonna cash it in tonight! I bet you're hung like your graduation on the wall." Erv's is famous in the Airport Rd. area for its G-String Grille, featuring the Buffalo Chicken Blast, a concoction of Buffalo Chicken and Pepper Jack cheese with bleu cheese dressing and hot sauce, lettuce, tomato, and onion. "You'll blast in your pants!" no one connected with the venue said. Jane's Pirates co-star Carmen Luvana danced at Erv's last month to an excited crowd."It's hard to keep a good man down," she did not note, despite the fact that all the coal had been taken from the ground. Previously: No party for Kami; "Keep your socks on, Alektra!" See also: Erv's, Digital Playground, The Nylon Curtain Labels: carmen luvana, events, jesse jane, pennsylvania, pop, strippers ¶ Thursday, June 07, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Assault That Ass: Sun Tzu's perspective Or: Come to think of it, don't cum on my tattoo
 Cody Lane presents a unique challenge for tacticians in Red Light District's Assault That Ass 11. While her ass is only minimally fortified, her high heels tottery, and as she is facing an incline (but looking back), it would appear that her ass is a target that will quickly fall, as outlined in Sun Tzu's "Art of War"."When doing battle, seek a quick victory," writes Tzu, and indeed, victory seems imminent despite Lane's defiant air. "A protracted battle will blunt weapons and dampen ardor." But Lane is also protected by a railing as well as a spiral staircase. Assault by land, which is preferable, would require attackers to change direction several times. Air ass assault forces would first have to clear that railing. Lane is doing something that both my cats and Tzu call "presenting". Tzu believes that if one's enemy invites aggression, the enemy must be at an advantage, perhaps even with shotguns in their nipples.  "If the enemy is far away and challenges you to do battle," Tzu writes, "he wants you to advance, because he occupies level ground that is to his advantage."Something between you and Lane undoubtedly lies in wait to thwart you. It might be slippery ass juice or her dad, boyfriend, or agent. Sun Tzu says nothing about jealousy in his 2500-year-old text, but Chinese literature is clear when it warns: "Beware the form the pimp has taken." Assault That Ass 11 is also an assault on the tattoo. Note Lane's tattoo in the original picture and how it has been airbrushed away for the boxcover. "I don't care if she has a tattoo, vitaligo, or burns over 30 percent of her body," Sun Tzu didn't say when contacted. "I'd hit that even if I were standing in a swamp without proper defillade." Previously: Anal title 60 percent short of ass; Make love to my ass; MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve See also: Sun Tzu on The Art of War; Red Light District Labels: "red light district", dvd, new porn daily, tattoo ¶ Thursday, June 07, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
Working up the enthusiasm with Gabriela Banks
 This is a tough business. It is tough because it is often tedious, even as those who don't get porn for free and who don't get paid to have sex are reasonably jealous of the people who do.Don't get me wrong, I don't think the grass is greener selling overpriced boba drinks to people with Bluetooth headsets, but one's heart can't be in any job 100 percent of the time. Above, we see a still from Ethnicity Films' Craving Chocolate (it's an interracial title, not a plumper title) featuring Gabriela Banks and Byron Long. In porn terms, a still is a posed shot that is snapped after the action it depicts has taken place. So Banks and Long recreated this pose for the still photographer. I have met Banks and she seems like a lovely person. But the difference in enthusiasm level between the live shots and the posed shots is striking. They reveal an interior monologue that can only be imagined. I have tried to recreate that interior monologue below.  "Turkey, ham, some Fruit Roll-Ups, 1 percent milk. 2 percent? Should I get 2 percent? If they only have 2 percent I'll buy it. But not skim. That stuff tastes like ass. Hey! I'm being fucked in the ass!" "I can tell they only put one coat of paint there by the baseboards. If you look really closely you can see that it's not as solid as up by the window. They should really put some low tables there to draw the eye away. It looks kind of bad because the paint layers should be consistent throughout. Now one layer abuts two layers. I wouldn't do - Hey! I'm getting fucked in the butt!" "I'm a leopard stalking my prey on the dusty veldt. Is a veldt dusty? Do leopards live there? I just saw 'veldt' in a magazine. Was it at the dentist's? Jesus Christ, that hygienist was thorough. I don't think I've had a cleaning that comprehensive in five years. My gums hurt. I should really make a commitment to flossing. I hate people who just floss in front of you. That's such a Hollywood thing to do. Those people are vain and anal. Hey! ..." Previously: Holliday at the Car Wash; Reverse Bukkake 2; Opportunity Cucks (fleshbot) See also: Metro Labels: because, dvd, gabriela banks, metro, redheads ¶ Thursday, June 07, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Faye Valentine, mesmerist
 Lucky this is a still image, because I believe the spritely and freckled Faye Valentine is trying to hypnotize us with her nipples.Ms. Valentine is new to the adult business, but is willing to do, and is thus proficient in, the following terms and inititals: Solo, GG, BJ, BG, BBG, BGG, GROUP, BDSM, Fetish, Swallow, Facial, Bukkake. How does she know how to do all those things? The power of her mind. Previously: Cum Greed; No Easy Way Out for Body Magic See also: Absolute Modeling Labels: "absolute modeling", agency, because ¶ Thursday, June 07, 2007 4 Comments Links to this post
Sasha Grey's Jezebel & June
 "It's like The Ring but less sexy!" - Student Film Intellectual MonthlyPreviously: Something is about to happen to Sasha Grey; A little more Ssha Grey never hurt anybody; Profiles in missing the point See also: Sasha Grey Labels: art, germans, sasha grey ¶ Thursday, June 07, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Investing in Regan Anthony
 Because I am the nation's finest erotic photographer, I knew that Regan Anthony needed a prop for our impromptu photo session at the new KSEX studios (she was a guest on Tony Batman's show).We noticed that the walls were bare and that, since KSEX' move from Burbank to Chatsworth was not complete, there was little furniture around. "Sit on that large wire spool!" I commanded. "Now what?" Anthony asked. "Now take this $20 bill and stick it between your breasts!" I said. "The most I ever got between them was $104," she said. (I didn't have that much cash on me, so I swiped my credit card instead.) Previously: Healthy Request: Regan Anthony; Faith's Fantasies See also: KSEXRadio Labels: ksex, regan anthony, strippers ¶ Wednesday, June 06, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
New Porn Daily: Sploiting days are here again
 As you can see from this dramatic photograph from the set of Mayhem's Assploitations 8, Tory Lane's ass was so prevalent that only one flap of her former wardrobe remained.In fact, her ass is like a poltergeist: "strong enough to punch a hole into this world and take your daughter away from you" - only, in this case, "your daughter" would have to be replaced with "whatever flimsy mesh covering Tory Lane already had on." The picture is black and white, clearly, because Lane's ass-force was so overwhelming that it sucked the color from the photograph. Previously: Chasey Reloaded; Put a thong on that - Stat!; Gaping Days Are Here Again See also: Mayhem Labels: dvd, geekery, new porn daily, tory lane ¶ Wednesday, June 06, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Obama behind porn endorsements?
 I believe it is essential for our nation's porn consumers to know which candidate their favorite stars support, so I applaud Savanna Samson's recent endorsement of Republican frontrunner Rudy Giuliani, which came hot on the heels of Jenna Jameson's nod to Democrat Hillary Clinton.But there are some - and I have borrowed the words of the porn world's greatest thinkers to call them "haters" and "outsiders" - who would have you believe that a candidate with a porn performer's endorsement is a candidate who has just lost the election. In that case, I'll have you know that I'm voting for Sen. Sam Brownback. I bet the Obama campaign is hoping that XFanz will come out for McCain once and for all. Previously: The tannens in Miss Samson; Jenna: Dreams coming true at an alarming rate Labels: barack obama, hillary clinton, jenna jameson, savanna samson, vivid ¶ Wednesday, June 06, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Sixty Seconds with Memphis Monroe
Memphis Monroe has proven the exception to the rule of contract performers not having absolute control of their websites, "soft"-launching MemphisMonroe.com this month."I shoot most of the content from Indianapolis," Monroe said (she lives in Louisville, Kentucky, just down I-65). According to Monroe, Hustler gave the reins of MemphisMonroe.com back to her after having control of it in the early part of her contract with the company. She had registered that domain and nine others in 2005. She now runs MemphisMonroe.com with the help of the Indianapolis crew for whom she started her career as a nude model, the webmasters of PantyhoseAddict. Hustler imposes no restrictions on what she can do for her site, Monroe said, "so I get to really show fans all access to my life." Monroe chose her name from a combination of Memphis, TN, Marilyn Monroe and, she said, Nicolas Cage's character in Gone in 60 Seconds. Previously: Derby Day for Memphis Monroe; End of the Summer See also: Memphis Monroe, Hustler Labels: hustler, memphis monroe, website, WGL ¶ Tuesday, June 05, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Adultcon Awards Saturday
 The first annual Adultcon Awards will take place on Saturday at Sunset Strip's Key Club, to be followed by a party there.Presenting at the ceremony will be Kayden Kross, Renae Cruz, Ashlynn Brooke, Nick Manning, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Tommy Gunn, Derek Hay, and Marcus London. The show is designed to last an hour. The show begins "promptly" at 8, and organizers say that no one will be admitted until the show is over and the party has begun. Attendees must be formally or semi-formally clad. Men must wear suit jackets. Larry Flynt and Tera Patrick will receive their awards in absentia. According to Adultcon's website, ClubJenna's Jay Grdina will accept his "Visionary" award in person. There is a $35 minimum for food and drinks. Previously: Cleopatra of the Nile wants you to die; Case study: Porn rumors and how to handle them; Janine Loves Jenna See also: Adultcon Awards Labels: "tera patrick", adultcon, Ashlynn Brooke, awards, Derek Hay, Evan Stone, hustler, Jack Lawrence, jenna jameson, Kayden Kross, larry flynt, Marcus London, Nick Manning, Renae Cruz, Tommy Gunn ¶ Tuesday, June 05, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, June 04, 2007
Hardcore hears a hammer
 I asked Max Hardcore, against whom the Department of Justice levied 10 obscenity charges at the end of May, how he was doing."The hammer fell on me pretty heavy last week," he said. "I'm battered and bruised, but I'm still standing." DOJ mentioned that Hardcore's movies sometimes involved Hardcore inserting his whole hand into the negative spaces of his performers. This caused uproar among porn consumers, one of whom wrote: "Having enjoyed multiple hardcore fisting scenes, I've never seen Max actually insert his entire hand in any single orifice. In fact, Max's consistently incomplete fisting (which, from what I've seen, is always of the vaginal ilk) has left many fellow hardcore consumers feeling sorely disappointed." One of Hardcore's attorneys is Lou Sirkin, who has successfully represented Larry Flynt throughout Flynt's career. "And I'm gonna come back and win this this thing," Hardcore said. "This is the big leagues - Federal court, but I (have) some heavy hitters on my team, including Lou Sirkin." Hardcore will be tried in Tampa, where the charges were filed. He is confident of pumping his fist in triumph. "The government picked the wrong guy to indict," he said, "because I ain't gonna roll over on this bullshit." He then tried to buoy my spirits. "Be of good courage Bro; we are confident of final victory here." Previously: When Feds say "porn", do they mean Max Hardcore? See also: Max Hardcore, Department of Justice Indictment press release Labels: interviews, legal, max hardcore ¶ Monday, June 04, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Don't leave Larry Alone
 Perhaps the adult industry's most passionate advocate is Larry Flynt. Alone he seems to have the credibility to persuasively argue that viewing dirtpipe milkshakes is our right.Each of the porn world's established or ascendent organizations has tripped over itself to bring Flynt out to deliver his winning stump speech, the money shot being "The greatest thing a government can do for its citizens is recognize their right to be left alone." Flynt has his good and bad days, and it is hard to watch him struggle with his speech. It is also difficult to separate the crises within Hustler, the shakeups among its underbosses, and the fact that employees have to pay to park in the the building that bears his name with the simple fact that thousands of people previously or currently allowed to make their living off this odd business owe the privilege to him. Flynt past (looking a little like Vince Vaughn) and present stars in the new documentary Larry Flynt: The Right to Be Left Alone, from New York's Midtown Films. View the trailer here. Previously: Barely Legal 75: Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland; 2007 AVN wrap-up: "A fine spray of legitimacy" See also: Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone Labels: business, documentary, hustler, larry flynt ¶ Monday, June 04, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Animated GIFs at Rouge
 According to this picture, which advertises these ladies' appearance at Rouge Gentlemen's Establishment tomorrow, Carolyn Reese is indignant to be placed at the left side of a redhead.http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifBoth Kelly Tyler and Aline, because they are on Sienna West's right, appear good-natured and content, eager to take off their clothes and dance to Young Jeezy for you. In fact, this picture is remarkable in that 75 percent of the people in it seem happy. Why, then, does Reese seem so sad? "I don't think 'The Sopranos' can possibly be resolved in next week's episode," she did not say. Previously: Dancing cheek to cheek; Courtney Cummz takes work home; Corruption See also: Rouge, LA Direct Models ¶ Monday, June 04, 2007 1 Comments Links to this post
The Occupiers - an interesting fraud
 I asked Yehudi X., the producer of the Israeli-on-Palestinian porn The Occupiers, if he hoped to foster some kind of understanding between the two groups by showing them having sex with each other."No, but it is a niche we are wanting to exploit," he said. "So this is all about money?" I asked. "You think Vivid-alt is all about breaking new bands on MySpace?" he asked. "Well yeah ... " Shot in Gaza in 2005, The Occupiers follows a group of guys who "may be" Israeli Defensive Force (IDF) soldiers through villages where they have "girlfriends". "Rocket attacks from either side aren't random," X said when I asked about the danger of such trysts. "Both sides have relationships with each other." "What do Palestinians think about 'their women' cavorting with the enemy?" I asked. "That part is business," he said. "I don't believe you." The Hebrew text is part of the 23rd Psalm, the sunlight doesn't seem right, I am of the impression that Gaza doesn't have buildings that high (in fact, the background looks like Brazil), and I have the sneaking feeling that the Intifada doesn't produce lithe swimsuit models. Yehudi assured me it was all kosher. "It's true," he said. "Things aren't as black and white over there." X said he and a small crew mostly shot at night but were able to get some outside daylight scenes, such as the one above. I suggest the subtitle be West Bank Skanks. X originally contacted me looking for U.S. distribution of The Occupiers. I gave him a few numbers. It may be coming to a video store near you soon (or even next year, in Jerusalem). What's interesting is that this hoax might be more true than the Debbie Does Dallas ... Again series. Previously: Assraelis; But is it good for the Jews?; Case study: Porn rumors and how to handle them Labels: foreign, hype, judaism ¶ Monday, June 04, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, June 03, 2007
New Porn Daily: "Leg Sex Flirts"
 In that the director Viv Thomas is British and presumably speaks English (among other languages), there is no excuse I can think of for this mind-boggling title. It seems like more a collection of keywords for a fetish website than the name of a movie, or something a Western tourist might hear from a strip club shill in some eastern European country.Furthermore, who are the clip art guys on the boxcover? It looks like the first draft of the poster for a porn version of "A Chorus Line". All that said, don't be deceived by the title or the picture on the box, for within lies lots of long-leggedy action, for people interested in that sort of thing. For me, legs just make it easier for them to run away (insert hoarse sobbing over the phone at 3 a.m. here). David Lee Roth did not rave, "You'll get some Leg Sex Flirts tonight for sure!" Previously: Counting floggers on the wall: Mr. S Leather; Scenes from a Pussy Party; Open bar at the Van Halen Place See also: Viv Thomas Labels: directors, dvd, fetish, new porn daily, the leg, viv thomas ¶ Sunday, June 03, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, June 01, 2007
OMG: Local paper to write about porn
 The Los Angeles Daily News ("Not the L.A. Times since 1911") will unveil a six-part series on the San Fernando Valley porn industry starting Sunday.The series, compiled in January and February by a team of seven writers, visits porn personalities like Wicked director Brad Armstrong, Sasha Grey, Oren Cohen of Tightfit Studios, and Teravision couple Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick. I spoke with Daily News writer Brent Hopkins, to whose duties has been added the porn beat. "Porn is part of the Valley's community," he said, "so we want to cover it like any other subject." Hopkins and I met at Porn Valley's Lamplighter Restaurant. The question of why the Daily News didn't interview me for the series hung like a thick cloud over the conversation. Sometimes we had to dispel the cloud with our forks. "We completed the series in February," he said, "but the paper kept putting off releasing it. We didn't want to put it out on Mother's Day, we didn't want to put it out at Easter..." The Daily News web team is building a special interactive module for the series, and Hopkins says that the paper will gauge the viability of future special web sections by how well the porn features go. "We did a big story on drugs in L.A. recently," he said, "and, after porn, we'll just need to get rock and roll in there." Hopkins said his trek through porn has been painless, and that his editors have not imposed an agenda on his reportage, though at first (it seems to me) they balked at his stories seeming too supportive of the adult industry. Part of Hopkins' voyage of discovery revealed that things happen in porn that wouldn't in corporate America, or the rest of the entertainment industry. "Like, how does the porn industry deal with sexual harrassment?" he asked. "Oh," I laughed, thumbing through a thick wad of bills instantly wired to me from zip codes 91301 through 91618, "there isn't any!" Hopkins said that the News' recent focus on porn has engendered a change in its staff's attitude toward the subject. "Now our 60-year-old copy editor wants to rent the R-rated version of Pirates," he said. "Tell her to get a goddamn hold of herself," I said. Previously: Case study: Porn rumors and how to handle them; Still, don't expect more for taking one in the ass; What I'm told will soon replace "Let there be light" as the L.A. Daily News' motto See also: L.A. Daily News Labels: coverage, interviews, news ¶ Friday, June 01, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
New Porn Daily: Transsexual MILFs
 Each of us has acquaintances who don't work for the Porno-Industrial Complex who say pithy things like "So, how do you review a porn movie? 'I came three times'?" and "That guy says he's not gay but he's got a tattooed arrow pointing to his ass?" and I'm all like, "You don't understand."Another joke that gets old quick is when people make up porn titles and then add episode numbers to them, like "Cock-Crazed Cum Demons #42". ("So what are you reviewing today - 'Cock-Crazed Cum Demons #42'?") It is only because I am America's Beloved Porn Journalist that I happened on a title - "Cock-Crazed Cum Demons #42" - that hasn't been used (as of this writing). The reason the joke gets old is that in 99 percent of the cases the name someone will invent in derision actually exists. That brings us, in my classic burying the lede fashion, to today's movie, Transsexual MILFs from Trans Erotica and Juicy Entertainment. Of course the theory of evolution demanded this title happen eventually, but it still caught me off guard. Unfortunately, the International MILF Registry cannot give this title its seal of approval because not a single one of these transsexuals is a mom and I don't want to fuck any of them, despite the resemblance of the tranny above to Tyler Faith. Not that they are not attractive and sexy, but where would I put it? (My knowledge of anatomy is limited.) My experience with tranny movies is limited (though I just reviewed Buckback Mountain with Joanne Cachapero in this month's XBizVideo), but I feel comfortable saying that a quick scan of this movie revealed couples who were into the action. Some transsexual movies I've seen that are geared to "straight" audiences feature people who just don't look like they want to be there (you can see it in their eyes, as well as southward). This movie seemed a little more "gay" in orientation - there was no self-consciousness and the editor slowed down the money shots, which is a gay staple. Previously: Alexis Skye and conditioned thinking; Allanah Starr will try anything once; Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry See also: Juicy Entertainment Labels: dvd, juicy entertainment, MILF, new porn daily, transsexual ¶ Friday, June 01, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
Hooray for Pornywood
 In my short time in Los Angeles I have seen some favorite clubs come and go, and their replacements come and go. The several square miles comprising the blocks bounded by Vermont and Highland to the east and west and Franklin and Sunset on the north and south have changed significantly in my six years here.That is why it is cool to see a porn party happening at Boardner's (not Borders), venue that, by L.A. standards, is ancient at 65 years old. Tonight's Pornywood party will feature Mia Rose, Ava Rose, Hailey Young, Avy Lee Roth, Layla, Kitty Langdon, Chennin Blanc, Savannah Stern, Lucy Fire, Bianca Dagger, Gia Givanna, Ashley Nykole, and Tony Batman. The flyer also advertises the post-indictment Max Hardcore's presence. Previously: Consumers demand more Drink Booze Parties; Pabst Blue Ribbon Night with the Steveporn kids; The Whipping Hour See also: Get tickets here, Boardners Labels: Ashley Nykole, Ava Rose, Avy Lee Roth, Bianca Dagger, Chennin Blanc, events, Gia Givanna, Hailey Young, Kitty Langdon, Layla, Lucy Fire, max hardcore, Mia Rose, Savannah Stern ¶ Friday, June 01, 2007 0 Comments Links to this post
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