| --Monday, April 30, 2007--
Asia Carrera through the window
 I never saw an Asia Carrera movie until I received the Asia Carrera 4-on-1 box set, but it is clear that she inspired people to make movies about her. In such circumstances, someone's devotion might become somewhat loopy.
For example, this is a scene in which Carrera has just learned she might have breast cancer. I thought this sort of head-scratchingly non-erotic thematic material just popped up within the past couple of years with Sacred Sin and Corruption, but I have to admit that Carrera makes an awareness of her own mortality look good.
The four films are like sticky time machines; all of them are at least eight years old. The best are Bud Lee's Betrayal and Wesley Emerson's Asia Is in Too Deep.
I just don't want to see any prostate exams just yet.
Read the review here.
Previously: Don Lemmon diesLabels: asia carrera, asian, dvd, reviews
posted by Gram the Man
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FAME Awards actually have cool prizes
 Unless they are used for bludgeoning enemies, most award trophies are useless.
You need to set aside space for them, often building display cases that could better be used for fish tanks or a Pac Man table. People feel awkward around them. They think, "That dude built a display case for his XRCO placque." You need to dust them. You need to worry that guests to your home or office might be compelled to photograph themselves with the trophy up their asses.
I have nine AVN awards, so I know.
That is why I laud the FAME Awards for shelling out some cash for practical awards, to be handed out by Tera Patrick and Evan Stone June 23. The Favorite Female and Male Stars will receive either a Tiffany pearl necklace or a blue-diamond watch, worth $7k between them. That sort of stuff is so much easier to sell than my AVN trophy for 2004's Gram Ponante's Goo Goblins.
The finalists for the awards are below:
Favorite Female Starlet
Belladonna
Carmen Luvana
Hillary Scott
Jenna Haze
Jenna Jameson
Jesse Jane
Stormy Daniels
Tera Patrick
Favorite Male Star
Evan Stone
Julian
Nick Manning
Randy Spears
Scott Nails
Shane Diesel
Steve Holmes
Tommy Gunn
Favorite Oral Star
Ava Rose
Carmen Luvana
Courtney Cummz
Eva Angelina
Jenna Haze
Roxy Jezel
Teagan Presley
Tory Lane
Favorite Anal Star
Annette Schwarz
Belladonna
Courtney Cummz
Flower Tucci
Katsumi
Missy Monroe
Naomi
Tory Lane
Favorite Breasts
Amy Ried
Eva Angelina
Gianna
Jesse Jane
Shyla Stylez
Sophia Rossi
Stormy Daniels
Tera Patrick
Favorite Ass
Belladonna
Brooke Haven
Carmen Luvana
Gina Lynn
Jenaveve Jolie
Jenna Haze
Sunny Lane
Teagan Presley
Hottest Body
Jenna Haze
Jesse Jane
Julia Ann
Kirsten Price
Nina Mercedez
Sophia Santi
Teagan Presley
Tera Patrick
Favorite Female Rookie
Amy Ried
Annette Schwarz
Aubrey Adams
Casey Parker
Dana DeArmond
Sasha Grey
Sophia Rossi
Tia Tanaka
Favorite Feature Movie
Brianna Loves Rocco (Vivid Entertainment)
Corruption (SexZ Pictures)
Fashionistas Safado: The Challenge (Evil Angel)
Island Fever 4 (Digital Playground)
Joanna's Angels 2: Alt Throttle (Burning Angel/VCA)
The Da Vinci Load (Hustler Video)
The Provocateur (Club Jenna/Vivid Entertainment)
The Visitors (Wicked Pictures)
Favorite Gonzo Movie
Ass Worship 9 (Jules Jordan Video)
Belladonna: Manhandled (Belladonna Entertainment/Evil Angel)
Big Wet Asses #9 (Elegant Angel)
G for Gianna (Jonni Darkko/Evil Angel)
Jack's Asian Adventure (Digital Playground)
Jenna Haze: Dark Side (Jules Jordan Video)
Sasha Grey Superslut (Suze Randall/Pure Play Media)
Slutty and Sluttier (Manuel Ferrara/Evil Angel)
Favorite Director
Brad Armstrong
Eli Cross
Eon McKai
Jules Jordan
Justin Sterling
Paul Thomas
Rocco Siffredi
Seymore Butts
Dirtiest Girl in Porn
Annie Cruz
Ariana Jolie
Ashley Blue
Ava Devine
Belladonna
Cindy Crawford
Deliliah Strong
Hillary Scott
Favorite Studio
Adam & Eve Pictures
Club Jenna
Digital Playground
Evil Angel/Evil Empire
Jules Jordan Video
Naughty America
Red Light District
Vivid Entertainment
Wicked Pictures
Zero Tolerance/3rd Degree/Black Ice
Wild Card Category Selected by the Fans
Favorite Performer of All-Time
Christy Canyon
Ginger Lynn
Janine
Jenna Jameson
John Holmes
Marilyn Chambers
Nina Hartley
Rocco Siffredi
Ron Jeremy
Seka
Tera Patrick
Vanessa Del Rio The FAME Awards will be held during Erotica L.A.
Previously: Evan Seinfeld, Wife to host FAME Awards; FAME recognizes small asses
See also: FAME AwardsLabels: "tera patrick", awards, events, FAME
posted by Gram the Man
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What is this movie about?
 According to the latest statistics released by me, 14,000 adult movies come out each week. What distinguishes one from another? Stars are sometimes important, as well as fetishes. But the thing that is the biggest selling factor is the boxcover.
I have removed the text that might explain the contents of the movie and replaced it with a question mark. Can you tell, based on the picture and the title, what this movie is about?
Since I, like most porn consumers, think visually, my first impression was that this was a delightful plumper movie.
Nope.
Previously: ? and the Mysterians
See also: HustlerLabels: dvd, incomprehensible
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 27, 2007--
Buckeye bill will still thrills, jell chill between Jack, Jill
 An Ohio bill that seeks to prohibit adult establishments from providing their signature entertainment after midnight and that also would prevent strip club dancers from gaping at least six feet away from their gapers is being hotly contested by, you guessed it, strip club owners and dancers.
Citizens for Community Values (CCV) is spearheading the bill, which opponents say is redundant in its ability to enforce law but simultaneously a roadmap for adult entertainment's enemies to close red-light businesses.
The Cincinnati Enquirer covered the story after the bill passed Ohio's Senate.
"CCV doesn't want to empower local governments," said Luke Liakos of the Buckeye Association of Club Executives. The CCV had framed its argument as a measure to centralize local control. "It wants to close down all forms of adult entertainment and continue promoting its narrow social agenda." The CCV also lobbied against same-sex marriage.
A petition to oppose the bill is circulating among Ohio legislators. It does not say too much about the bill itself but relies on the measure's infringement of First Amendment rights, particularly consenting adults' freedom to express their tangerine body spray and crumpled five dollar bills within a lap's length of each other.
The petition also mentions the body count of Ohio soldiers who died to protect these rights in Iraq and Afghanistan. I think this is barking up the wrong tree, as what people are dying for over there has nothing to do with maintaining our freedoms.
One does not need to be a registered Ohio voter to sign the petition.
Previously: Again with the titties; I went back to Ohio but my titties were huge; The scales of horror; The World's Largest Gangbang (fleshbot)
See also: Strippers, keep your distance (enquirer.com), Stop the House petitionLabels: legal, ohio, strippers
posted by Gram the Man
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Lori Lust Agency explodes, survivor writes press release
 Lori Lust Agency explodes
The rapidly growing www.LoriLustAgency.com has twelve new hot models that have just been added to her agency site.
Lori Lust even added two girls Michelle Avante and Aziza Diamond back to back that both squirt and also do DP.
Maybe you might want young perfect body blond girls Savanna James and Sabrina Gillig.
They are the true girl next door types that have hardly an adult shoots under their belt.
The Lori Lust Agency wants the adult world to know they have been adding at least one girl a day to their roster and sometimes even two.
Plus many of these girls are new and very fresh to the adult market.
But then legends have been added like Sarah Blake, the perfect body mega bombshell that is making her comeback career after a two year layoff at twenty five.
At the rate the Lori Lust Agency is adding hot new girls companies should take a
look on a daily basis because the models are coming in batches.
Lori also wants the companies to know about her 5200 square foot ten room
agency house that is ready for hourly or daily rates.
The house has twelve pictures on the agency site and even companies like Club Jenna loved shooting at it.
So models if you're looking to get in on a growing agency that gets girls both Adult as well as mainstream jobs then you can email your responses to us. Previously: Adult industry to sic itself on bad grammar; Lori Lust: Girl wrangler
See also: Lori Lust AgencyLabels: agency, sic
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, April 26, 2007--
Publicist: Honolulu secedes in honor of Thorn homecoming
 Nautica Thorn is heading to her native Hawaii this weekend for appearances at a video store and a strip club. Also, according to her publicist, the city of Honolulu is going to break off from Oahu and become its own island.
They say you can never go home, but Hawaii’s very own Nautica Thorn will return to her native island of Honolulu for an in store appearance at Diamond Head Video and a one night feature dance engagement at Club 939. Honolulu, then, will become the ninth major island of the chain, supporting itself almost entirely by "Dog: The Bounty Hunter" syndication and the Jack Lord Memorial Poi-Off, as well as Thorn's strip club appearances.
Honolulu has already begun detaching from the Pacific Plate in anticipation of Thorn's arrival.
"My publicist is slower than tectonic uplift," Thorn did not say.
Previously: Nautica to smoke in boys' room; Nautica Thorn is neither Mika Tan nor Mya Luanna
See also: Nautica ThornLabels: "nautica thorn", sic, strippers
posted by Gram the Man
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San Francisco celebrates hookers as "least deviant by comparison"
 Considering what else goes on up there, San Francisco officials say, this weekend's Courtesan Carnival, a benefit to send sex workers to classes where they will study labor organizing, will be like a "wholesome church spaghetti dinner."
"I walk three steps out of my office and there's some poly-gendered juice straining PVC-clad Kucinich supporter fisting God-knows-what in the alley and asking for healthcare and a BART discount," didn't say San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom. "The prostitutes seem like Cub Scouts by comparison."
The Erotic Service Providers' Union is throwing the first annual Courtesan Carnival, a two-part event that begins this Sunday with a Porn Star Karaoke Rock and Roll Show and Auction, co-sponsored with the Harvey Milk Democratic Club (www.milkclub.org), at Annie’s Social Club from 6:00 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Funds acquired during these events will go to Summer Institute for Union Women training that will educate erotic service providers about their occupational, health, safety, social, civil and economic rights. In addition, erotic service providers will learn how to negotiate for improved wages and work conditions, organizing and how to stay organized, as well as how to wield the power of collective bargaining. Eyeing the poster depicting a couple of pairs of shaved white legs, Newsom didn't add, "Compared to what I just saw at the ATM on Market Street, this looks downright wholesome."
Previously: San Francisco sex workers seek to unionize; And another thing: it's not sex work when you're just lying there
See also: Erotic Services Providers' UnionLabels: events, prosties, san francisco
posted by Gram the Man
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Anal title 60 percent short of ass
 In Butt Blasted Brazilian Babes (No Trannies This Time edition), Mercenary Pictures is taking an unorthodox approach to advertising a movie supposedly about asses: they're showing very few of them.
Of the five women pictured, only the center model is showing actual ass, and then merely 3/4 of it. The woman on the bottom right is actually displaying her anus, but not really her ass. It is generous, therefore, to say that this boxcover of this ass-based title shows a paltry 40 percent ass.
You will agree that anus and ass are not the same thing. That is why the anus is known as the ass hole. The ass, or butt, is the fleshy cushion that protects the anus. This has been known for centuries and I needn't remind you. I think it was in "The Da Vinci Code".
I am left to conclude that "Butt Blasted" means that most of these poor Brazilian women's asses have been blasted off.
Previously: Every picture tells a story; Solving for (anal); The Moral: You cannot spill iced tea on an anal crream pie
See also: Mercenary Pictures
 Labels: brazil, dvd, mercenary, the ass
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, April 24, 2007--
Counting floggers on the wall: Mr. S Leather
 Once upon a time, when I lived in New York, I bought a pair of leather pants on Christopher Street. They cost more than I could afford, but they more or less fit my massive yet svelte frame.
Because I took the occasional large amount of drugs, I could sometimes be found staying up all night and arriving at my world's worst band gig at a Greenwich Village theatre right around showtime at 8 p.m. the following day. On one such occasion I showed up in my party clothes and quickly changed, leaving my three-weeks-old pants in the dressing room.
The theatre backed up against an area known as Cracked-Out Drag Queen Alley. I believe it is on the National Register of Historic Places. Each night I would say hello to various cracked-out drag queens as I made my way into the theatre. A few nights we'd go into the alley and share food.
Anyway, this particular night I got offstage and the pants were gone. I was told that one of the cracked-out drag queens had snagged them. I never saw her again, or the pants, but I'm sure that until she sold them she probably accessorized a lot better than I had.
I always wanted to get another pair, but I put it off. I had been wounded, and needed the time to heal. How could I be sure I could keep my pants?
Well, time has made me strong again, so recently I traveled to San Francisco to get refitted.
The journey was important. I needed to see the cows whose hides would be sacrificed for my vanity. I drove up the mighty 5 freeway, through an area between the Tejon Pass and the 580 that is known as Cowschwitz. There I regarded the cows, and they regarded me.
"What up, cows?" I said.
"Word," they said gravely.
Just as cow-fear makes meat taste tangy, I wanted the cows to smell like love, fear's opposite. Instead I smelled manure. Does love smell like manure? It is impossible to tell. In my business, Fleet enemas mask the scent of much.
 I was headed toward Mr. S Leather in San Francisco. Mr. S occupies a sizable chunk of the corner of Eighth and Harrison Streets, a two-story building in which the ground floor comprises a workshop and huge showroom and the top floor is soon to be converted into studio space for Uber Ego/Slave Labor Productions, a company that makes tasty BDSM videos.
It was through Uber Ego that I heard of Mr. S. I'm not into bondage - at least my own - because, you know me, I'm a free spirit. But I do like wielding crops and floggers now and then, if anything to get to hard-to-reach places at the top of cabinets.
Richard Hunter purchased Mr. S in 1991. The company was founded by Alan Selby in England in the early 1980's as a high-end but individualized leather gear store for hardcore leather dudes. Imagine the Village People's Glenn Hughes mixed with Rob Halford of Judas Priest and, perhaps, Satan. Hunter opened his shop in San Francisco and began marketing to a younger demographic.
"You entered the (original San Francisco) building through an iron cage," Hunter said. "Over the years, the place became very dark and foreboding."
Hunter's son, Tchukon, joined his father in the business in 1996. Tchukon grew up on a commune in upstate New York and, despite everything he had ever learned, sold cars until he joined the family business.
The Hunters opened their present location in September, 2005. It is bright and roomy. I asked if the accessibility took away some of the menace some of the company's older clients might have enjoyed about the previous location.
"I do think that some people were sad that it didn't seem like there would be gang rapes in the dressing room," Tchukon admitted, but it still can get pretty wild around here."
 We passed a collection of glass butt plugs and Tchukon was inspired to tell a story. The story was called Why Butt Plugs Now Have Bases.
"My father knew a guy who had himself trussed up and was videotaping himself playing with a butt plug," Tchukon said. "So he's watching himself in the monitor and he slowly watches the butt plug disappearing into himself of its own accord. At the hospital, a Chinese lady with very small hands was the only person who could get it out."
I tried to respond with why 13 is known as a baker's dozen, but it just wasn't as good a story.
Tchukon now runs the company which includes a shop for leather and PVC-aware ladies, Madame S. His partner, the no-nonsense Kansas-bred domme Paige White, features the products in Uber Ego/Slave Labor videos.
Tchukon and Paige live in one apartment upstairs while Richard lives in another. My father probably would have frowned on my living with a woman out of wedlock under his roof, but he was also not into hardcore leather bondage, probably because the gas company didn't accommodate that lifestyle.
 I met Skeeter, Mr. S' leather baroness. She came to the company in 1993, getting a job working the hides through her girlfriend. When they broke up and her girlfriend left the company, Skeeter stayed. It was she who took my measurements and introduced me to the hide that would become my pants.
"The first thing you need to know is that Levi's lies," she said. "They add an inch to your leg and they take an inch from your waist, so you think you're slimmer and taller."
This was tough love, and I didn't like it. "People come in here insisting that they have a 32 inch waist," Skeeter said, "and I have to gently convince them that they are quite a bit fatter."
I was quite a bit fatter, which didn't bother me as much as being told I didn't really have a 38" inseam, which is a source of pride in my family.
"Wicked Skeeter," I said.
 In the workshop people were at work at weapons-grade sewing machines. Skeeter pulled out a bunch of cow hides and unrolled them. They come packed like fruit rollups, except if you ate them at recess you'd die.
"What you're smelling when you smell leather is really the work of the tannery," she said. "We buy from a select tannery, so we know, usually, where a hide comes from."
She said that my pants would probably come from either a California cow or a Texas cow.
"All my exes live in Texas," I noted.
 Ignoring me, she said that sometimes it was even easier to identify a cow because the brand was still on it. "Naturally we don't use the brand," she said, "but if the brand gets through you know that cow really felt it."
Skeeter unrolled the hide. It smelled like love.
Skeeter explained the process of getting the hide from the cow. It is too sexy to describe on this family website. But she said that the best leather comes from the cow's back and sides, rather than the baggier area around its udders.
"So if you see someone wearing baggy leather, you can call him Cow Udder Ass?" I asked.
"Yes, you can," Skeeter said.
Upstairs I checked out the apartments and the massive construction area for the studio. The elder Hunter's area looked like it would intimidate a Cenobite. A genial, trim man in his sixties, Richard Hunter just didn't look like the type of fellow who would have a massive customized leather padded isolation chamber in the corner of his room. But he does.
 "He kept a partner of his in there for 31 days once," Tchukon said. "He was getting a little feisty."
Mr. S supports the annual Folsom Street Fair and is a pillar of its south-of-Market neighborhood. Maybe because that city is a contained, 49-square-mile thumb that it has a sense of itself and its community more so than Los Angeles and the porn industry therein. It is just as easy, though, to look at the fundraising efforts for Nicki Hunter and sense a community spirit that is also admirable. Still, I don't see dads and their sons in L.A. living in places that look like the House Hellraiser Built.
 My pants will be ready in a few weeks. It is an unexpected pleasure to know where they came from and the people who made them.
Previously: Perfection review; Pornhounds; Whither Coke Chain?; 2006 Erotic/Exotic Ball Report (fleshbot); Perfectly Cruel to be kind; Trouble x 2 review
See also: Mr. S LeatherLabels: "uber ego", BDSM, cenobites, fetish, san francisco
posted by Gram the Man
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Hunters gather funds, but don't hit lotto at grotto
 "I guess I knew it before," Nicki Hunter said, "but it took cancer for me to realize how many friends I have."
Hunter might unwittingly become a poster girl for lymphoblastic lymphoma, because despite several rounds of chemotherapy, she looks good. How she feels is a different matter. After two benefits held in her honor last week, by Saturday's culminating event at the Playboy Mansion she was looking a little tired.
Money has been pouring in for Hunter from friends in and out of the porn industry. This week Kylie Ireland and Ginger Lynn (I keep saying "Gina Lynn", and I apologize) cash in on a $3,000 double date they auctioned on eBay, there are currently two benefit all-sex DVDs in production or in the works, one of which is a Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party, and random cash comes in via everything from lap dances to autographed DVDs donated by various hot friends.
All of this to combat medical fees deep in the six figures.
The business of charity in the entertainment industry is often ambiguous and confusing. How much money raised goes to the intended recipient? Organizations like PAW (Protecting Adult Welfare) have been criticized for their overhead. People like Asia Carrera, who was widowed last year, was in the days immediately after her husband's death chided for letting her fans know she was broke.
People get sensitive about being asked for money; they forget that famous doesn't always equal rich. Amber Peach received death threats from a spelling-challenged MySpace reader when she encouraged donations to Hunter's charity, HunterCARE.
And sometimes philanthropic efforts break down. Last Saturday HunterCARE was to have been the beneficiary of a party at the Playboy Mansion. The ACE Entertainment Group, which throws upwards of ten events at the Playboy Mansion during its 70-event yearly party season, was contracted by Sacramento's Maddbacker Foundation, a group founded by former Cincinnati Bengal Adrian Ross, to coordinate an event there that would feature a silent auction and other fundraising efforts for everything from HunterCARE to the Make A Wish Foundation.
More than 30 female adult performers, mostly coordinated through Lighthouse Talent, were to roam the Playboy grounds in Holmby Hills selling autograohed DVDs and lap dances to the mostly-football fan crowd, who would also be entertained by Snoop Dogg and VH-1 personality Hal Sparks.
According to people connected with ACE, reps of the Maddbacker Foundation gave away more tickets than they were allotted, and further told celebrity guests to just show up at the Playboy Mansion, whereas other ticket holders, the press, and adult performers waited for shuttles at a UCLA parking structure a mile away.
I was told to arrive at UCLA by 6:45. I did, and was later joined by AVN's Peter Warren, Brian Uptgraft from the Hardcore Source, Tony Batman, and four representatives of XBiz (two of whom were from XFanz; I later found that organizers weren't aware they were all from the same organization). Immediately we found that none of us was on any list kept by StubHub, the ticket seller, or Maddbacker. As we were a collegial group, we waited in the warm parking structure.
Some of us waited over four hours, while others stayed just one or two and wisely went home.
 By 10 p.m. only a few press were left in the parking structure. Cousin Stevie, who negotiated Nicki Hunter's part in the event with ACE, was joined by a limo full of girls, including Jada Fire, Amber Peach, Bettie Rage, Cossette Angel, Shannon Kelly, and Veronica Rayne. Nicki Hunter and her entourage had driven directly to the Mansion around 9 p.m., and by virtue of the grounds not yet being at capacity (that night's capacity was 500 guests) and the fact that the entourage consisted mostly of hot girls like herself and Tory Lane, were let in.
We at UCLA had by this time been informed that we were not on any list and that tickets were not available for us. Some of the girls had been given tickets but were told they could only get to the Mansion via shuttle buses, so the limo they arrived in was useless. At 10:30 ten of us got in the limo and decided to drive to the Mansion.
We were stopped by a Mansion guard who didn't know who we were (I wisely did not show myself because I have hairy legs and no breasts). Cousin Stevie explained that he was a co-producer of the Nicki Hunter benefit. He was not let in. Veronica Rayne explained that the girls were there volunteering for the benefit, you know, to give lap dances.
The guard did not acknowledge Rayne, but instead said to the limo driver, "Take them back where you found them."
This was unforgivable and rude, no matter how much Playboy tries to convince itself it is not an organization that sells sex. Still, when Rayne shouted that "this is why I work for Hustler" I doubt the guard went back to tell Hef.
"It was the largest traffic jam in Holmby Hills history," said Cousin Stevie, on whom security was called and who snuck around to the back gate, where he was finally let in after ACE owner Max Soto paid an additional thousand bucks. There Stevie joined his wife and Nicki Hunter. By this time it was 11:30 and the in-house caterers were dismantling the party.
Nicki Hunter had dragged a table into a corner and decided to enjoy herself.
"It is what it is," she said.
At UCLA, over a hundred StubHub ticketholders, who had each paid over $1000 for tickets, were still waiting for shuttles. They never got in. Celebrities personally invited by Maddbacker publicist Jameela Jackson and told to just show up at the Mansion, met with mixed results. Miami Dolphin and Maddbacker partner Joey Porter chartered a bus for friends. A StubHub rep told me that StubHub had oversold the event. At the check-in area in the parking structure, I was told, a fight broke out and tickets were stolen from ACE representatives. I didn't see this.
What I do know is that by the time I got to the Mansion, no one was being let in, and that any communication between the Maddbacker reps and the ACE people had broken down. No one knew who was on the correct list, and by a certain point it didn't matter. Playboy, meanwhile, had planned for 500 people and was letting no one else in.
When the limo dropped me off at my car at 11:15, there were still people at UCLA waiting for shuttles. "It's not happening," I told one guy from San Diego. "Who's going to refund my ticket?" he asked angrily, getting in my face (he had seen me step out of a limo).
I told him I wasn't sure; I don't think anyone broke even other than Playboy.
ACE owner Soto said that the Maddbacker partnership was a one-time event. "Our other events we handle on our own," he said.
So charity doesn't necessarily begin at Holmby Hills.
 "One important thing is that Nicki got into the Mansion," Cousin Stevie said, "and she knows people care about her. There were a lot of people out in force to support her ... even if none of them got in."
This is, in its way, encouraging. Perhaps the individual, thoughtful donation route is the way to go. Hunter is upbeat and is a tough chick. She is currently the adult world's object of philanthropy, and there is no one better.
Donations can be sent via HunterCARE, where there will be a PayPal link available soon.
Previously: Wig flipping with Nicki Hunter; Double the Nicki Hunter benefits; The Playboy Mansion in a nutshell
See also: HunterCARELabels: "nicki hunter" "cousin stevie", business, philanthropy, playboy, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, April 23, 2007--
VCA unveils MILF font
 While the adult industry has yet to agree on a MILF definition, VCA Labs has attempted to set in place an integral part of the coming MILF infrastructure: a font which debuted on the MILF Country compilation.
It, too, has become the object of controversy.
"I understand that to be considered a MILF, a woman must have had a child," said Loup Perch-Tounge of the Canoga Park Nipple Advisory Council, "but must the font suggest the word was written by a child?"
Indeed, the heart over the "I" is causing concern among people who believe that the font should be more stately, representative of the nobility and stature of the experienced MILF.
"When you get right down to it," Perch-Tounge added, "there shouldn't even be a minuscule 'I' - the whole word needs to be capitalized."
Linguists believe that an acronym, from the Latin meaning "high word", which is a set of initials that can be pronounced as a word, should be capitalized until the term has achieved common usage.
"Like the common acronyms 'scuba' or 'snafu', 'MILF' will some day be an accepted term in general vocabulary," said Professor Jose Fellatiano of the Universidad de Ciudad Mexico. "But right now the word needs to be capitalized, indicating that it still needs some time to be considered for its individual parts, that is Mother I'd Like to Fuck."
A nationwide study commissioned by the Ponante Institute found that MILF had not even achieved five percent saturation, even lower than Gonorrhea sufferers' resistance to fluoroquinolones.
Despite the arguments, industry leaders grudgingly applaud VCA for taking a stand. rare in a business that thinks all Asians are geishas and that the teenage years extend to 27 if one is under 5'4".
Previously: Easter MILFs and the Fertile Crescent; MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve; Memphis Monroe reveals Dark Side on her head; You deserve a FIP today; Porn Valley font panic
See also: VCA PicturesLabels: dvd, MILF, vca
posted by Gram the Man
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--Friday, April 20, 2007--
Stormy - but everything will be fine - on Operation Desert Stormy
 I am on the set of Wicked's Operation Desert Stormy, which will be shot over ten days. Today is the first day, and it is raining; probably the hardest rainfall L.A. has received all year. Cars are stopped on the 405, a bridge in my neighborhood is out. Altogether, we got maybe an inch of rain. People are terrified here.
The problem is that it's also cold, and there is an outdoor luau scene taking place after lunch. The rain will stop by the afternoon, but it will still be nippy.
Stormy Daniels is directing from a 79-page script she wrote in Final Draft. It would be unfair to say that her past two years of Hollywood experience have alone taught her to format scripts in a standardized way and binderclip them, because she always did it this way.
 I am on the set of Wicked's Operation Desert Stormy. This is couples porn at a different level. The set is calm and organized, the atmosphere is light. There is free Wi-Fi. I'm in one of two porn McMansions situated across the street from each other in Woodland Hills. The last time I was in this neighborhood was for a Pussy Party, which was also pleasant.
Operation Desert Stormy is a cross between Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Get Smart. Steven St. Croix plays Brad Pitt and Don Adams. Porn actors achieve longevity if they have a sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously. St. Croix on screen is hilarious. There is a scene where Stormy flushes the toilet while he is in the shower. You could hear his shriek through the house.
 Wicked director Jonathan Morgan is facillitating the scenes Stormy is in. He has a problem with Stormy's look for the couple's toothbrushing scene.
"You just woke up; can you look a little more disheveled?" he asks.
"Yeah," she says, and disappears for 20 minutes. It takes her that long to look moderately disheveled. I can go from zero to disheveled in .04 seconds.
Wicked shoots about five of these multi-day, large budget movies a year. This one finishes filming in mid-May and editing will be done by summer, just in time for AVN Awards consideration (deadline for consideration is usually the end of September). Last year's Corruption finished post-production in August. Adam & Eve's Eden is filming in Maui now. This time of year is lousy with porn money.
 A two-person team cooks an elaborate lunch. I think this is the first time the kitchen has been used for this; these two kitty-korner houses are used exclusively for film shoots, and it's only the guest house in the back that people live in. The rest is just porn. If a tunnel could be bored underneath Burbank Blvd between the two locations, the only contact required with the outside world would be a regular babywipes and Red Vines run to Costco.
 At 4 p.m., it still looks cold. A luau doesn't look possible. "It'll be my first make-up day!" Stormy says. She nobly resists the temptation to direct from the back seat. She keeps almost saying "Action" when she's ready to begin.
Morgan directed St. Croix and Daniels in a softcore scene. "If I see even one genital, Steven, you're dead."
"I am putting my genitals away," St. Croix said.
 With several more days to go and a luau that needs to be rescheduled, the mood is still much lighter than most sets I've visited recently. I think it is because Steven St. Croix is from Maine. Either that or everybody is good at his/her job.
UPDATE 4/21: Stormy was able to get the luau. It was 54 degrees last night. One word: nipples.
Previously: Wicked Girls unaware of crimes; All about All About Anna; Stormy Daniels does something
See also: Wicked PicturesLabels: "set visits", "stormy daniels", 818locations, WGL, wicked
posted by Gram the Man
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Vivid remakes The Money Shot
 Six years in the wake of the AVN-financed web series The Money Shot, about the inner workings of a Porn Valley trade magazine, AVN financier Vivid is releasing Layout, about the inner workings of a Porn Valley trade magazine.
The Money Shot, about the day to day operations of the Blue Movie Guide (BMG), drew close parallels to Paul Fishbein and Mark Kernes. It starred Bryn Pryor, who just picked up a Best Actor in a Non-Sex Role at this year's AVN Awards for Corruption. He is also known as Eli Cross, who won the Best Director Award for that movie.
The Money Shot features cameos from Asia Carrera, Chloe, and Nicki Fritz. Above everything else, it is an excellent picture of Porn Valley in the early part of this century.
Layout was directed by Paul Thomas and stars Brianna Banks, Penny Flame, and Kylie Ireland, as well as Tom Byron and Tyce Bune. Vivid's PR says that "any resemblance to AVN is purely intentional."
Will AVN now get a Showtime series, too?
Previously: Vivid does Kim...again, Happy Birthday, Paul Thomas; Eon McKai and the elephant in the room
See also: The Money Shot, Vivid
Labels: "eli cross", "paul thomas", avn, directors, trademags, vivid, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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Orbiting Choad threatens Earth
posted by Gram the Man
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--Thursday, April 19, 2007--
The Pornhumous Vixen Vogel
 It was bound to happen that I would drive someone with whom I've shared intimate moments from the porn industry. I met the red-headed Vixen on a shoot last year and neither she nor the company she shot for exists (at least with their assumed names) anymore.
It is so hard to find someone who is tall.
I mean, actually tall.
But such is the adult business that Vixen will continue to be seen as companies churn out back-product from the brief time she was in the business. That phenomenon is known as "Pornhumous"; you're not dead, you're just not in porn anymore.
Here she is in Sudden Impact's Giants Black Meat White Treat 4, in which, yet again, she is solicited in a park to appear in a music video.
This video, shot in late June of last year, shows that Vixen had some extra characters added to her tattoo from our meeting the previous month. The characters say: "I am sorry, but I will leave you, Gram."
Previously: From Christina to Vixen; Pegging the man-flower; Here's the story of 50 lovely ladies
See also: Sudden ImpactLabels: dvd, pornhumous, vixen, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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Shiny, oiled Jenna Haze DVD is first porn Blu-Ray disc
 A small company operated out of Porn Valley and Las Vegas has become the first adult firm to release a true Blu-Ray DVD, shot in HD and replicated in both HD-DVD and Blu-Ray formats.
This month CDGirls, in business since 1998, began selling Jenna Haze Oil Orgy, a two-hour disc culminating in a nine-girl oilslick betweeen Haze and Hillary Scott, Holly Morgan, Carlie Banks, Sammie Rhodes, Bobbi Blair, Marlena, August, and Charlie Lane.
 "We had a custom-made oil pit," said CDGirls operations manager Ken, noting that the excess of lubing agents required the movie to be "directed by committee".
The company chose to release Jenna Haze Oil Orgy in as many formats as possible, including Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. It avoided larger porn companies' problems with Blu-Ray replicators by burning the discs themselves. The only difference between the end result and other Blu-Ray discs is that the Jenna Haze movie has no copy protection.
 "If there are step-by-step instructions on how to break the DRM (Digital Rights Management) online and people can BitTorrent it anyway, there's no use in that protection," said CDGirls technology officer Manny Ulele.
I asked Ken why he chose Blu-Ray. Did he see it as the future rather than HD-DVD?
"Not really," he said. "Right now we see the same type of fight shaping up between formats as occurred in the Beta vs. VHS days. Apple and Sony are backing the Blu-Ray format, while Microsoft and others are backing the HD-DVD. As it is, even playing major Hollywood studio releases can require upgrading firmware and software, depending on the player a person has, so a lot is still undecided."
Universal's latest James Bond movie, Casino Royale, which debuted on Blu-Ray, is not itself universally compatible with Blu-Ray players. Some require firmware upgrades and others, if upgraded, will not play the disc.
 "Judging from that," Ken said, "we decided to hedge our bets as much as possible."
To that end, the company is releasing each Blu-ray and HD-DVD disc in a package that also includes a standard DVD.
"You don't want to receive the disc and pop it in at 2 A.M. and find that your player isn't ready for it," Ken said, but added that the lack of format standardization made it necessary to include customer service numbers with each package.
 I called director Roy Karch, whose Reincarnation of Serena, taped in 1979, was the first porn movie shot and released on video. Karch's movie was captured by two Phillips 80 cameras on a switcher.
"The cameras weighed more than the girls," Karch said.
Karch's movie consisted of two half-hour scripted segments, one a takeoff on "Romeo And Juliet" and the other titled "The First Convertible". They were filmed on a soundstage on Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood and featured, in addition to Serena, an actual convertible as well as some fairly credible costumes.
I wondered if the new medium influenced the content of either project. Was there something about video that cried out for porn's resident boor-about-town to play a priest (and I'm not talking about Serena or Maria Tortuga)? Is there something about Blu-Ray that demands Jenna Haze be oiled?
The answer to both questions is No, but a four-camera HD setup, including an overhead jib, certainly makes it easier to count each of Haze's ribs, and the multiple angle option (including footage lensed by Barry Wood) is like a greasy All Access Pass.
 Jenna Haze Oil Orgy was shot in September, 2005. You might notice that the movie features Hillary Scott's original breasts, which is a nice touch and worth the $49.95 retail price; a tacit admission that technology doesn't solve everything.
Previously: Wicked decides on HD-DVD; Pirates: "For the love of God let me die"; Concentric circle jerks of porn profits; Kirsten Price before Wicked, Jenna Haze after hiatus
See also: Jenna Haze Oil Orgy, The Reincarnation of SerenaLabels: CDGirls, dvd, technology, WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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Sexualizing history
 We all know that the myth of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree concerned our fledgling country's castration anxiety, and who can forget what the opening of the Erie Canal was really about? Am I right? Huh? Ladies? I thought so.
So today, the 232nd anniversary of the Battle of Concord and Lexington, let's make a deep reading of the first famous lines from Emerson's "Concord Hymn", which is clearly an account of a Minuteman gangbang:
By the rude bridge that arched the flood
What is the "rude bridge" but the yearning pelvis of a bukkake object? I could cite numerous references throughout our nation's short history to support this, but doubtless you've already heard them. It is sad that our country's early patriots held women in such low esteem as to call their parts rude, but if it makes you feel any better all those dudes had dysentery anyway.
"The flood", of course, is vaginal juices. We think today's obsession with "squirting" is new, when in fact, like churning butter, it is an ancient skill just now finding its way back to popularity. Those Colonial goodwives ejaculated like crazy, because most of them were witches.
Their flag to April's breeze unfurled
It has been a popular historical myth recently that Abraham Lincoln was gay, when in fact men of that time, because the sexes did not enjoy the companionate and intellectual intimacies they do today, were merely closer than they are now. Further, men often shared the same bed while traveling. Therefore the "flag" is a reference to the collective, free-balling nature of a bunch of amiable men who decided that Spring had come early enough for them to drop their pants and "unfurl" after a long winter. It can't mean anything other than that.
Here once the embattled farmers stood
Dozens of archaic early American words and phrases survive, such as "lock, stock, and barrel", "potluck", and "half-cocked", whereas one's "embattled farmer", better known as a penis, has given way to "Gram-hammer". Anyone who has seen the American Bukkake series is familiar with the tableau of a bunch of guys standing around with their embattled farmers in their hands, trying to keeep them standing while the female talent finishes crying.
And fired the shot heard 'round the world
Peter North, who took his name from Concord's Old North Bridge, delivered in his prime loads that could be heard splattering on his scene partners' chests. Some would bruise. The "shot heard 'round the world" is undoubtedly a reference to a particularly decisive Minuteman popshot.
The poem goes on, with references to "streams" both gentle and dark, as well as yet more shafts, but you get the idea.
Check back again when we discuss Johnny Appleseed. That guy was sick.
Previously: A Brief and non-hysterical history of the .XXX domain; Celebrating Black History Month the only way Porn knows how; Scenes from the class struggle in Playboy's PenthouseLabels: history
posted by Gram the Man
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--Wednesday, April 18, 2007--
Anastasia Blue, where are you?
 Max Hardcore gets to know his scene partners far more intimately than I care to know them. That is because Max is sensitive and soulful and I am superficial.
Regardless, prior to the inevitable anal revelations characteristic of Mr. Hardcore's ouevre, I was intrigued by the very respectful young lady who showed up in high heels to a basketball court where Hardcore was lurking.
I encountered an eight-year-old scene* between Hardcore and Anastasia Blue in Hollywood Hardcore 7, in which Blue didn't wear panties and then lied about it. She also smoked. In Pasadena. To say she got what was coming to her is an understatement.
I suppose I could make 1.5 phone calls to the appropriate organizations and find out exactly where Blue is now, but my low need for achievement kicks in yet again, so I will put my faith entirely in the Internet, as my 12-step program mandates.
Previously: Where have you gone, Kiki D'aire?
See also: Max Hardcore's Process (fleshbot)
*The scene was eight years old, Depravo. Blue was 24.Labels: "max hardcore", WGL
posted by Gram the Man
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Sex and commerce in Las Vegas
 I happened across an article in the Las Vegas Review Journal about the Sin City Chamber of Commerce, an affiliation of businesses dealing loosely or directly with the skin trade.
These companies have had difficulty benefiting from business partnerships enjoyed by mainstream firms.
Owners of adult businesses must pay taxes, bal
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