Tera Patrick will make Cleveland Flats a misnomer tonight and this weekend when she travels to the Diamond Men's Club in northeast Ohio.

"Tin soldiers and Nixon's coming," she did not say.

The club, dubbed Cleveland's oldest, continually describes itself as "Thee" Diamond Men's Club throughout its advertising, making me think that it might have been around since medieval times. It also serves wings for just a dime, which is one of many reasons to feel fondly about that area of the country.

As you can see, the club also has a jail. I'm not sure what's erotic about that, unless it is supposed to be a tribute to Evan Seinfeld.

Previously: Erotic, Cows; Next year in another casino; Industrious Tera; Tera runs with motorcycle gang
See also: Thee Diamond Men's Club

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, November 30, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The letter from Playboy's Home Entertainment Division that accompanied my copy of the three-DVD set Playboy After Dark read:

"Grammy! Here is your sophisticated entertainment. I hope the lack of cumshots isn't disappointing."

Is that what you people think of me?

I dimly remember repeats of Playboy After Dark, Hugh Hefner's "rumpus room party" from the late 60's and early 70's, and I don't remember its predecessor by ten years, Playboy's Penthouse. Both featured a Cy Coleman opening score that sounded, a propos of the period, like a combination of Neil Hefti's "The Odd Couple" theme (only divorced men can appreciate being playboys) and the theme from "Route 66".

Watching both black and white Penthouses on Disc 1, I was amazed at what TV audiences were given credit for in those days, not only in content but in length. An interview with Lenny Bruce, in which the comic compared Beatniks to rabbis, lasted a whopping 15 minutes.

All the while drink is flowing and people are smoking up a storm. Hef hosts the show, and in a 2006 interview he recalls the pipe and the smoking jacket as part of his reinvention of himself. Jazz music also played a large part in this "...for a kid who grew up as I did in which the music represented a kind of a freedom and sophistication which I didn't have."

Hefner called the girls-in-ball-dresses, smart-men-in-suits-and-ties scenario of Playboy's Penthouse "the dream of the 40's and 50's." It really does look like a glimpse into the fantasies of one's bachelor uncles. There is no sex, and hardly any innuendo, but the Playmates are more seen than heard, long-legged ornaments for the space-age bachelor pad, delivering drinks to people like Bruce, Nat King Cole, and Cy Coleman's Trio. The girls gamely follow along as the men talk, listening attentively.


Hefner is a nervous host in the early series. He mentions starting Playboy magazine with no money, and he has a certain new-money awkwardness, and sometimes a trace of condescension, when talking with his guests, as if they shouldn't forget who is paying for the party.

On the other hand, people like Bruce display a fawningness to Hefner that I would not have expected, repeatedly complimenting Hef on the show. I would probably do the same thing. Each guest appears amazed that actual liquor is being served.

Bruce is a little uncomfortable performing in a clean, well-lit room, as if money makes him nervous. Hef has the money, and he struggles to appear urbane. They both act as if they're not quite in the right place, but the show works.

Bruce recounts threatening to walk off a television show because producers had a problem with his material.

"I've got enough bread," he said, "I'm not gonna make this scene." Hef smokes his pipe, thinking, "I've got my own show."

To hear the conversation, to watch that generation's aspirations for itself, as well as to view standout performances by guests Sammy Davis Jr., Coleman, and Ella Fitzgerald is worth more than a History Channel marathon.


The next two discs deal with Playboy After Dark. Filmed in color, Hef is now in his early 40's and has been "Mr. Playboy" for 15 years. It is the end of the 60's and the women are in miniskirts and the men (except for the musicians) are still in suits. As Wooderson said in Dazed And Confused, "I get older, they stay the same age."

The first of the Playboy After Dark discs opens with a game of Simon Says. Part of the Playboy ideal at that point, as manifested by Hef himself, is staying young or, more to the point, recapturing youth. Hef does this when he meets Barbi Benton (then Barbara Klein) on set. At the time she is 24. Throughout the rest of the series, she is on his arm, listening attentively.

Both series reflected a leftist aesthetic with clear aspirations to establishment legitimacy. This is why guest Mort Sahl could talk about championing "the left" while drinking with Playmates in a multimillion-dollar penthouse set.

"1969 was a year in which if a man tried to collect his thoughts he'd be arrested for unlawful assembly," Sahl said to the collected Republicans, who laughed like Sahl was a delightful pet.

Excellent performances by Linda Ronstadt, Sonny And Cher, Canned Heat, and Joe Cocker are featured in the Playboy After Dark discs, and Sonny and Cher are particularly envious of Hef's jet, which they'd only heard about.

"Does it really have smoked glass in the back?" they ask.

"We worry about peeping toms up there," Hef replies.

People say that science fiction says more about the time it was made than the time it seeks to depict. Playboy's world of the 60's, coinciding with the Civil Rights Movement, the Great Society, and the Sexual Revolution, reflects Hef's reinvention of himself in a world that's all about class.


Buy the DVD set here.

Previously: 35 years of grass on the field; Gram Ponante sold to Playboy

Labels: dvds, playboy

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, November 29, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

"I'm in a committed relationship," replied Kendra Jade to Star Magazine's inquiry about a perhaps-ongoing fling with Kevin Federline. The tryst allegedly pre-dates Britney Spears' filing for divorce.

I often call up Star Magazine to tell them I am in a committed relationship and, frankly, I think they're getting tired of my telling them about Jesus.

Of course, claiming a committed relationship is not really a denial of a fling, because a couple may be committed to diluting the gene pool rather than monogamy. So I turned to the poetry of Jade and Federline in order to glean some clues.

From Kevin Federline's "Popozao":

Toy all your thing on me, baby.
Toy all your thing on me.
Toy all your thing on me, baby.
Toy all your thing on me.

Gatinha sai do chão, vai descender popozão,
gatinha sai do chão, vai descender popozão.

In Portugese it means “bring your ass”,
on the floor, and move it real fast.
I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty–
want to know where I go when I’m in your city?

From Kendra Jade's website:

I left that city long ago , Queen of the cocaine wake-up call.
but that city loved me dearly because my fall was the fall of everyone .
Now they wave Hello! They wave Goodbye! To you now ,to you now..and to me.
In the harem of dark-eyed beauties ,your eyes seem impossibly bright.

I would never let them hurt you. (please don't let him die alone)...

All I'm saying is if they are not together maybe they should be.

Previously: Britney Spears continues to hold out hope of immaculate conception
See also: Kendra Jade, Kevin Federline, Report: K-Fed was having fling with porn star (MSNBC)

Labels: celebrities

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, November 29, 2006 | 5 Comments Links to this post

...and virgin birth. A Cesarean section means that God wanted Britney's vagina to remain taut for the Grammening.

I always thought it would be Christina Aguilera who did this first, in the same way I expected it to be Tiffany who posed in Playboy before Debbie Gibson did (neither went through with it, alas).

I was about to give Britney the benefit of the doubt, but then I remembered the words of an ex-girlfriend on our first date: "No one forgets to wear panties, Grams." (We broke up because she wouldn't convert.)

And, much as I'd like to believe otherwise, association with Paris Hilton immediately makes one a whore.

There. First mention of Britney Rears and Paris Hilton on my website, and I've lived in Los Angeles for six years.

See more pictures on Fleshbot.

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 28, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Digital Playground's Pirates has received its 40th award, most recently from the euthanasia-phobic country/continent combo of Australia, thus cruelly extending the life of the movie through a proven but inhumane cocktail of awards and press releases.

"Thank you for this award, Australasia," a weeping Pirates breathed into a microphone while mournful digeridoos played in the background and kangaroos were shot in the dusty street. "Now would you please kill me?"

The answer was a resounding No, as both the continent of Atlantis and the lost cities of the Incas seemed intent on resurfacing to honor the movie, filmed 300 years ago on tape washed in martyrs' blood.

"Pirates has been a milestone to the adult video industry worldwide," shrieked immortal Pirates star Jesse Jane. "As this movie has become more popular and visible internationally, our industry has gained acceptance and as a result, it is more accepted as a legitimate source of entertainment."

"LEGITIMATE SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT," affirmed Teagan Presley.

"BRAINS," added some zombies.

The Australian Adult Industry Awards granted its inaugural International Hall of Fame prize to Pirates director Joone, who carefully kept a lit cigarette away from Pirates' oxygen machine during the ceremony. Not broadcast was the following exchange:

Joone: ... to the adult community, thank you. What?
Pirates: ...the gun. In my mouth. And shoot me.
Joone: Oh no no no. You won't die until Blu Ray does.

Pirates is scheduled to receive 14 more awards in December, including the American Paraffin Society's Ugalgie Medal for best use of a candle. In January, Pirates will host the AVN awards down the street from the theatre that will stage the Las Vegas cabaret version of the movie, starring Cathy Rigby.

Previously: New Pirates cover released; How I saved Digital Playground; You yell "Shark"; Pirates to receive G rating
See also: Digital Playground, Compassion and Choices

Labels: "digital playground", dvds, hype

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 28, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

or: Extrapolation: Some escorts not hookers

A Bay-area brothel specializing in Korean prostitutes has been closed down by a law enforcement coalition known as "Operation Gilded Cage".

According to an article in the San Jose Mercury News, "The women in such operations are supplied with fake identification and other documents and smuggled in through Mexico. Once in the United States, they are forced to work as sex workers to repay debts as large as $30,000 to $40,000."

Members of the task force do not believe that the women, all in their twenties, had been forced to work beyond their debt payment, as is sometimes the case. The brothel was located in an apartment across the street from Pacifica's Fairmont Shopping Center, and was outfitted with "the bare minimum" - a mattress. Neighbors complained of visitors coming and going for short periods from 10 a.m. to midnight.

Two men, the brothel's manager and his assistant, were arrested in connection with the brothel, as was the common-law wife of the manager, who set up phone and Internet appointments for johns.

The article goes on to say that "{the} Internet also has made it easier to solicit customers, through a variety of sites advertising escort services, some of which are a cover for prostitution."

I would be dismayed to encounter an escort who was not a prostitute.

Previously: Kami Andrews leaving porn, having never been to me; Meanwhile, down at the Inner Whore; Sex workers protest GTA; Study: Prague feeds hookers well
See also: Arrests tied to Pacifica brothel (Mercury News)

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 28, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Jeff Stryker (a/k/a Charles Peyton), mostly known for his work in gay porn, has been warring with North Hollywood neighbor Paul Kulak and his small folk club, Kulak's Woodshed, and may succeed (with help from the L.A. Zoning Administration) in closing the establishment.

According to a representative of the 50-seat venue, which features nightly performances and a web simulcast, Peyton has been "the catalyst for our problems with the city".

Those problems will force the seven-year-old Laurel Canyon Blvd. hootenanny to close if they are not resolved by December 31.

Peyton has an office next door to Kulak's, from which he manages his businesses (Jeff Stryker Inc, Stryker Productions, and Nightlight Express), which include a website and the distribution of novelties and several videos.

"We're just trying to celebrate singers and songwriters here," Paul Kulak told me, relating that for several years Peyton and he were friendly.

Kulak said that Peyton began making complaints to the City of Los Angeles about the venue ever since he was banned from the club in 2004. Kulak had refused Peyton's offer to perform a song Peyton had written called "Pop It in Your Pooper", then Peyton began showing up to the club drunk and disorderly.

Kulak remembers that "Pooper" had a good melody but that the lyrics were inappropriate for his venue.

"If music makes your day lighter, more power to you," said Kulak, "but that's not the type of material I could have at the club {because} the web simulcast needs to be G-rated."

Peyton appealed Kulak's parking variance, and said that the club made too much noise.

Kulak said that during the three appeals Peyton made, in which he also appeared before the Zoning Administration to say that Kulak's had cost him "hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost income" because of the noise, Peyton had played "loud trance music" from his adjacent building.

"We measured the decibel level at 90 db, which was louder, two thick walls away, than the sound we were generating in our own club," Kulak said. "It was like the Whiskey was next door."

Kulak proceeded to get two restraining orders against Peyton, who he said threatened him and his patrons as well as urinated on their cars and threw feces.

"Peyton's vindictive crusade against me and the Woodshed is in retaliation for being banned from the Woodshed for his constant loud and disorderly behavior during performances when he used to visit here a few years ago. You cannot imagine the hateful, venomous and mean spirited determination that possesses him and what lengths this man continues to go to in his efforts to shut the Woodshed down," wrote Paul Kulak in an e-mail to Woodshed patrons and the L.A. performance community.

It appears that entities formerly supportive of Kulak's, including its landlord and the erstwhile renter of its parking spaces, are now bowing to city pressure, despite the intercession of City Council member Wendy Greuel. Kulak's will be forced to close on December 31 unless it gets its parking issue resolved.

As it is, Kulak's is now known as a "Private Membership Club" due to noncompliance with city regulations. People wanting to attend its free performances must apply through its website.

Kulak's does not refer directly to its impending closure on its site, nor does Stryker explain his grievance with the establishment on his own site, aside from pointing out that Paul Kulak has indeed pleaded guilty to unresolved violations.

From this vantage point it would be easy to believe that Stryker's feelings were hurt by his ejection from the venue and that he has done his best to get it closed, bringing to light violations that none of the other businesses in the area have complained about.

Blogger Lurk Ford commented about Stryker's performance at the 2005 "Night of the Stars" event:

Jeff Stryker (who got a lifetime achievement award) was the biggest jerk of the evening. He appeared to be drunk and he repeatedly (and for no reason) cursed out the host of the evening, Adam Glasser, and threatened to beat him up.

Jeff is a drunk and frequently becomes so obnoxious at these types of events that he gets punched out.

"He seems to crave attention." Kulak said (about Peyton, not Ford), "and it doesn't matter if he looks evil in order to get it."

Stryker/Peyton has not yet responded to interview requests for this story.

UPDATE: Folk as Queer, pt. II (12/14/06)

See also: Jeff Stryker (a/k/a Charles Peyton), Kulak's Woodshed

Labels: gay, legal, news

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 28, 2006 | 4 Comments Links to this post

A world in which elective surgeries are awarded as prizes is a science fiction world, but in the same way I was not surprised when I saw a bunch of porn dudes standing in a circle and text-messaging rather than, say, playing hacky sack or bukkake-ing someone it should not be a shock that Summer Haze has begun giving out boob jobs to brand new performers in exchange for appearing in her planned porn reality show.

At last weekend's Sex And So Much More show in Minneapolis, 21-year-old pole dancing instructor LaDonna Britt became the first recipient of Haze's largesse. Britt is, next to Prince, Minnesota's second African-American resident (when Morris Day visits the state it often stops traffic).

The Sex And So Much More show, which will next be staged in Denver and Phoenix, is, like porcini mushrooms, "exciting and alluring to an affluent, liberal minded audience".

According to the rules of the contest, winners must not have appeared in any kind of filmed entertainment, including porn, and must be willing to travel to Hollywood, Florida, where the surgeries will be filmed. Accommodations, airfare, and transportation will be provided, but meals will not. Payment for appearing in the show will be in boob jobs. Boob recipients will not perform in a porn scene with Haze. They will be required to say the word "boobs".

"Ladies are not required to partake in filming adult scenes at all, just the reality show," said producer Nick Sabatino, who said that the surgeries will be performed by Gregory Albert, MD., P.A.

The next boob job giveaway will be this weekend at Houston's Lonestar Pornutopia, which will feature a breast cancer fundraiser. As you know, cancer is easier to spot on larger breasts.

"We did not want to imply that breasts are merely sexual playthings," no one connected with the contest said.

Previously: Summer Haze and the enemies of freedom; Our Gigantic Joggies, ourselves; What makes boobs real?; Our Boobies, ourselves
See also: Summer Haze, Pink Visual

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, November 27, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Whilst perusing the cumshot-laden back cover of Brandon Iron's half-century compilation 50 to 1 #4, I couldn't help feeling, especially after a wonderful Thanksgiving, that this group must somehow form a family.

The cast includes Sasha Grey, Allison Pierce, Tobi Pacific, Katerina Kat, Raquel Amante, Lindsay Kay, Aubrey Addams, Mae, Miss Meadow, Shannon Kelly, Phoebe, Jessica Sexin, Marissa Marcelle, Jasmine Tame, Misty Magenta, Geena Ginger, Lorena Sanchez, Loretta Loren, Sabara, Veronica Rayne, Katalina Linda, Katrina Isis, Sonia Lopez, Joselyn Pink, Marli Jane, Emily Evermoore, Carrie Ann, Gabriella Banks, Vixen Fyre, Princess, Lillia, Brooklyn Night, Taylor Nix, Jasse Monroe, Alena, Bianca Valentino, Alektra Blue, Rene Pornero, Vanessa Videl, Tabitha Tucker, Autumn, Jenna Presley, Jessica Sweet, Codi Star, Piper Parker, Evangeline, Jamie Elle, Kandi Hart, Ryaan Reynolds, and Bailey Brooks.

Previously: The old bouncing cross; The Hair down there; Piggies: what you need's a damn good whacking
See also: Platinum X Pictures

Labels: dvds, pxp

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, November 27, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Until now, I had never watched a celebrity sex tape. It's weird, though, because Screeched requires that each word be put in quotations.

• Dustin Diamond is not really a "celebrity".
• The "sex" is not very good (Red Light District cleverly hedges its bets by filling the bonus material with actual sex scenes with Annette Schwartz and Tia Tanaka).
• Does anyone still use "tapes"?

The only thing that compelled me to watch this to the end was the hope that the purported bride-to-be's fiancee would break in and beat the living shit out of Diamond. Might Red Light be releasing the Dustin Diamond celebrity snuff tape next?

Read the review here.

Previously: Hotter than a Balrog; Untitled Briana Banks project; Rock, Stapp slap over cock flap
See also: Red Light District

Labels: "red light district", dvds, hype

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, November 24, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

You know those fetish balls the kids are having these days? With the rope suspensions and whatnot? This movie is not those. In fact, it's more like people dressing up to go to those events but - and we don't see this in the movie - once they arrive they stand around awkwardly, taking pictures with their camera phones.

The back cover has one of the most impressive examples of what I like to call the Cockstellation in recent memory.

Despite my brand new site warning label, I hesitate to show it, so check it out here.

Previously: Lorelei Lee and Adrianna Nicole just because; Satine Phoenix just because; Piggies: What they need's a damn good whacking
See also: Platinum X

Labels: dvds, fetish, satine phoenix

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, November 22, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

At a small ceremony at the Valley Ball breakfast buffet this morning Gram Ponante.com's parent company announced the winners of the Also-Rannies, awards given to movies and individuals whom we think were under-recognized by the recent AVN nominations.

"While we acknowledge that we are defining ourselves in relation to a better-recognized awards show, this understanding has 1.) never stopped anyone else, and 2.) comforts us in that the nominations-to-awards time took about 15 minutes," said Loup Perch-Tounge, sampling a buffalo wing medley.

In the quarter hour between deciding to have an awards show and presenting it, Perch-Tounge noted that the Also-Rannies already have a better band than the AVN awards.

"Everywhere I go, there's Roy Karch playing his harmonica," Perch-Tounge noted. "This morning I saw him by the Carl's Jr. and lured him in with this excellent ranch dressing."

Like the honors upon which they are based, the Also-Ranny awards are wreathed in controversy, exultation, and dashed hopes. Particularly bruising this year was the decision to not present a David Sturman Award.

"It would have been a ten-way tie," said Perch-Tounge of the accolade given to a company that went through more publicists in a given period. "And there was a lot of lobbying, but no one was employed long enough to send the followup paperwork."

There was also a clerical error that resulted in an award being granted to a movie that was already nominated in the same AVN category.

"I didn't notice there was a second page," said Gram Ponante.

The awards themselves are small stuffed animals bought at the Roscoe offramp of the 5 freeway.

"We were going to use overstock Temptation awards," said Perch-Tounge, "but the Also-Rannies are known for their devotion to quality."

Here, then, are the 2006 Also-Ranny awards. Congratulations to all the winners.

Screenplay
The Da Vinci Load, Hustler, Nelson X

Every movie submitted for nomination has its own backers within a company, and Da Vinci Load lost out to Aphrodisiac at Hustler. Da Vinci Load is the superior movie in every regard, but especially Nelson X' screenplay, which is witty, misanthropic, and a great example of porn for smart people.

Director
Ernest Greene, O: The Power of Submission, Adam & Eve

Greene got performances out of people that were surprising and nuanced. He also tackled a weighty subject with grace and ease and took his audience with him, rather than considering the audience unworthy of the credit.

Gonzo Series
Smokin' Crack, Barrett Blade for Sin City/Mayhem

Blade's simple setups and competent but not over-wrought camera work made this series exactly what it should be: an effective porn stash document.

Alternative Release
Psychocandy IV, Benny Profane for Pirate Booty Productions

A different aesthetic and an unwillingness to cater to every Pornywood formula makes this infrequently-produced series (and 2006' entry) special.

Black Release
Indigo Noir, Roy Karch for Adam & Eve

Slick and no-nonsense, this movie delivered the goods without attempting to make the audience forget it was a porn movie.

Animated Release
The Princess Has Come of Age, Black Widow Productions

The Princess looked just like Natalie Imbruglia

Best New Starlet
Lorelei Lee

First you notice that she's smart, and everything fits into place from there.

Best Actor - Video
Tommy Gunn, O; The Power of Submission, Adam & Eve

Actually nominated for this role in a supporting category, Gunn deserves the top slot

Best Non-Sex Performance
Veronica Hart, Neu Wave Hookers, VCA

Hart literally pops up unexpectedly in the "I Dig It" sequence of this movie which, as I look back on it, is far and away the best scene of the film

(We were going to nominate Gram Ponante, Adrianna Nicole, and Tee Real for their work in Barbed Wire Kiss, but Creative self-casting would have been the Eli Cross award, and we only had so many bunnies.)

Best Sex Scene
James Deen, Tommy Pistol, and Veronica Hart, Neu Wave Hookers, VCA

Same scene, and Veronica is not having sex with the lip-synching Pistol and Deen, but they are waving their junk at her

Best Music
Atomic Vixens: Escape from the Valley of the Sluts, VCA

All MySpace bands, herded like cats, and providing this movie with a Space Mexican surf-guitar feel

Best Director, Body of Work
(tie) DCypher
(tie) Roy Karch

Both guys work for multiple companies and put a little blood into each production, delivering value to their employers and, I think, not getting the credit they deserve.

Specialty Series
Couples Seduce Teens, Pink Visual

Creepy? You bet. One forgets that everyone involved is tested, documented, and in on the joke. A great "reality" series for people feeling pervy and not socially responsible.

Previously: Report: XBiz award desirable; Night of the Stars recognizes freedom, snacks; Adult industry evens ratio of awards to movies; F.A.M.E. recognizes small asses; You're all pretty
See also: portions of this article appeared on Gamelink

Labels: awards, news

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 21, 2006 | 7 Comments Links to this post

North Carolina's own Carmen Hart will be feted at Porn Star Karaoke this evening, as will Publicist to the Stars April Storm, seen here primping Sunny Lane for an impromptu photo shoot with noted journalist Gram Ponante.

"I said 'impromptu', goddamn you, April," I said.

"Her hair's not fluffy enough," Storm said.

"Curse your commitment to quality," I said.

April will be jetting into L.A. frequently while taking up residence in the banjo and Saturn-scented air of Nashville-adjacent.

Previously: All Hallows Porn Star Karaoke; "Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a non-exclusive contract star."
See also: Sardo's Bar, Wicked Pictures

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, November 21, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I may be dating myself (and why shouldn't I? I put out on the first date, which is a commitment to excellence I admire), but the new Adam & Eve boxes remind me of the multipocketed receptacles for McDonalds' McDLT sandwiches of yore.

As you well know, the McDLT (McDonald's Lettuce & Tomato) kept the hot side hot and the cool side cool. Because it required consumers to finish the job of assembling their meal and because the packaging was non-biodegradable, the sandwich was quickly discontinued.

The biodegradable boxes for O: The Power of Submission and Tailgunners are testament to the fact that porn is ephemeral and, consistent with O's premise, you can't keep something you love (although the DVDs themselves will last at least ten more years).

To learn more about the McDLT and a young Jason Alexander, click here.

To see the earliest mention on this site of a FIP, click here.

Previously: As long as the first rule involves feeding her a sandwich; The possible Blumpkin; Porn Valley font panic; Joanna Angel eats grilled cheese, tomato
See also: Adam & Eve, McDonalds

Labels: "adam and eve", dvds

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, November 20, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

In the wake of various retailers' hesitance to purchase the DVD package Corruption due to concerns about a fisting scene contained on disc 2, Sex Z Pictures has pledged to defend stores with legal protection.

“We strongly stand behind every store, distributor or website that sells our movie Corruption and we pledge that in the unlikely event that there is ever any type of legal indictment on the local, state or the federal level brought forth against any company selling this movie, we will be there from the beginning to the end providing the legal expertise of Paul Cambria and the money required to defend any potential prosecution to those companies who exercise their right to sell Corruption," stated Sex Z Pictures’ owner Bo Kenney.

While a single legal challenge could easily dwarf Corruption's budget, this promise of financial and legal support from a producer is, I think, unprecedented.

To be clear, the statement "Kenney was responding to allegations that some stores or distributors are resisting larger purchases of Corruption due to the harsh political and sexual nature of the movie" isn't exactly true. Some stores have refused to carry the movie outright and no one has a problem with the political shenanigans in the movie, just the fisting ones.

Regarding claiming political asylum for Corruption, I'm reminded of something Chris Rock said:

"l'm watching the news, and like, 'Tupac Shakur was assassinated. Biggie Smalls, assassinated. Struck down by assassin's bullets.' l'm like, 'No, they wasn't!' Martin Luther King was assassinated. Malcolm X was assassinated. John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Them two niggers got shot."

Previously: Corruption corrupts absolutely; Porn I'd like to see; Whores at ease; Night to fist own ass if inspired
See also: Sex Z Pictures

Labels: dvds, hype, legal

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, November 17, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Sometimes when we experience life through the viewfinder of a camera we forget what it means to be living.

Nothing more poignantly symbolizes Lexington Steele's joie de vivre than the fact that women are cavorting all around him, pushing their breasts up and together, smacking their asses, etc., and he has made the conscious choice to leave the lenscap on and seize the moment.

"That is also why I am wearing sunglasses," Lex might have said, but didn't, "because to see is to experience as to sip is to bathe."

Pole Position: Lex POV 6 stars Missy Monroe, Devon Lee, Vida Valentine, Carmen Hayes and Brooke Banner.

Previously: Missy Monroe finds Jesus; The Second Lex; The face of Lex is missing
See also: Lexington Steele

Labels: dvds, lex

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, November 17, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Taboo Magazine Creative Director Lee Forbes has directed Taboo: Love Hurts, partially shot in Larry Flynt's office.

The 10th floor of the LFP building provides an excellent vista of the Hollywood Hills; it is one of the signature L.A. views. Ethan Cage and Rita Faltoyano perform "The Education of Rita" in Flynt's office, as Faltoyano is outfitted with a yoke and posture bar.

Both Hustler and Playboy began as magazines and, as the video and Internet ages bloomed, adapted their publications to the new media.

There is not as much overlap as you'd think between the magazine and video divisions of both companies, so it is rare for someone like Forbes to bring the print aesthetic to video, and it's interesting to watch.

It is always cool to see what a set designer will do with a neutral location, but watching something filmed in a "real" location adds to the scene.

The first time I heard the song "Love Hurts", it was a version by the 70's guitar band Nazareth.

"Love is like a flame/It burns you when it's hot" is one of the lyrics. I always had a problem with that. A flame is always hot. The original Everly Brothers version made sense; instead of "flame", they used "stove". You ever touched a hot stove? Man, it burns you when it's hot. Love hurts, Chief.

Although there are no stoves in this movie, there are cages, strap-ons, whips, and ankle and wrist restraints in this "unrestrained portrayal of all things kink".

Taboo: Love Hurts also stars Penny "Love is like a" Flame, Sativa Rose, Shyla Stylez, Dragon Lilly, and Brittany Manson.

Previously: Dave Naz loves L.A.; At home with April Flores and Carlos Batts; Rebelle Rousers and their genomes; The Year of the Cat; Mia and Ava Rose in Double Trouble

Labels: BDSM, dvds, fetish, hustler

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, November 17, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith is dancing tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday at the Spearmint Rhino, which happens to be the pride of Van Nuys.

Faith has been on tour in New York, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Florida. She conspicuously skipped the Mid-Atlantic states due to her hatred of the Chesapeake Bay Crab.

“It’s so nice to perform in my own back yard,” Faith said. “I love traveling and meeting the fans around the country but there’s something to be said about just loading the car and meeting the fans locally.”

"You didn't say 'yard'," I said.

"Yes I did," said Faith.

"Oh no you didn't,"I said.

Previously: You gotta have Faith in your Tyler
See also: Spearmint Rhino

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, November 16, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

As you know, I save my Instant Messenger conversations. I was chatting with a female friend who works in adult marketing and asked her if a porn movie that has as one of its plot points the death of a child would need to work extra hard to turn her on.

"Is that the movie with the fisting scene that everyone's up in arms about?" she asked, adding "Heh".

"No, that's Corruption," I said. "Corruption's the dead everybody, Sacred Sin is the dead most people but especially with the dead baby."

"Oh," she said. I pointed out that the party accompanying the release was phenomenal and that the DVD packaging was like the fourth installment of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Sacred Sin was still better than Catherine.

Read the review here.

Previously: Open bar at the Van Halen place

Labels: dvds, ninnworx, reviews

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, November 16, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Let's just calm down for a second and look at this picture of Sophia Santi.

See? Everything's better.

As you know, I run a highly militarized porn supremacist compound in the hills above the Santa Susanna Pass, and now and then let people have at the porn stash. It was in this spirit of giving that infrequent contributor Eugenie Brown expressed interest in, and was granted access to, Digital Playground's Jack's Playground 32.

"I want to eat Sophia Santi alive," I believe were the words Brown used.

What I'm getting around to saying is that the resulting review essentially amounts to "Watch it with the sound off" and, if any hope can be gleaned from the stern criticisms of director Robby D. therein, they involve expecting better of him.

Read the review here.

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, November 16, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Wisconsin's James Hathaway, 20, met a dead deer by the side of the road and, without too much cajoling, had sex with it.

Hathaway had previously served time for killing a horse for the same purpose but now, since the deer was already dead, his lawyer feels Hathaway can beat a Sexual Gratification with an Animal rap because "the statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass."

This might be precedent-setting in Porn Valley because, well, having sex with someone on Xanax borders on necrophilia.

Previously: Bogota girls son facil; Tyler Faith and CES
See also: Can You Get Dear with a Dead Deer? (The Smoking Gun)

Labels: news

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, November 16, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post