This weekend I attended San Francisco's Somewhat Erotic Exotic Expo and Ball (see Fleshbot story) and encountered this movie poster whilst perusing the art at the Erotic Heritage Museum (where I met a woman claiming to be an erotic art appraiser), opening in Vegas next May.

Aside from being a near-perfect likeness of me, the slapping man depicted about to put a beat-down on Lisa Baer (or Lisa Baker - after all, it's porn and this industry can't be held accountable for spelling - there's too many more important things to deal with) is only somewhat important.

Of much more importance is the location of the man named Coke Chain (or Coke Cain- after all, it's porn and this industry can't be held accountable for spelling - there's too many more important things to deal with).

I think the terrorists would have truly won if we allow Coke Chain to be lost to the ages. Don't let this essential part of our nation's precious erotic heritage die.

If anyone knows the wherabouts of Coke Chain, who probably played one of a carful of rapists in this Gail Palmer movie, please let me know.

Previously: Whither Steve Banan?; Whither Kiki D'aire?
See also: Hot Summer in the City , Hot Summer in the City review

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 31, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I have a feeling this naughty teen could almost disobey the rules of gravity.

Previously: Sperm to bridge color divide; Oh to live on Cameltoe Mountain
See also: Lethal Hardcore

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 31, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

One of my favorite porn movies is Digital Playground's Contract Star. It's about two cholo-talking white guys, played by Evan Stone and Eric Masterson, who long to break out of their adult company warehouse jobs by finding a "contract star".

I talked with Digital Playground contractor Teagan Presley yesterday and asked her about her role as "La Sad Eyes" in that movie.

"It wasn't my best work," she said.

"Oh, Teagan," I said. "You're always shooting from the hip. What a joy you must be to your handlers!"

She said that one of her favorite movies was Island Fever 4, noting that both she and Jesse Jane have five scenes in it. She also said that she and Jesse enjoyed snorkeling in the rain during off-days while the movie was filming.

Aren't the DP girls briefed to sell the back catalog?

I was sad that she didn't enjoy being La Sad Eyes, though. When I lend out that movie, it is the one that is most often not returned.

In other Teagan news that will be especially infuriating to ladies, she says that she has maintained a weight of 102 lbs. for several years despite a near-constant diet of Carl's Jr.

"I have really good genes," she said.

Previously: The Second Lex; Teagan: "More in the ass"; What is happening to my Teagan?
See also: Digital Playground

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 31, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

James Deen on the set of Hustler's Educating Nikki. Kenny DeMartinez is one of the adult industry's only full-time production designers, and he put together the set of Deen's cheap hotel room.

Previously: Christmas in Memphis; I submit to Britney Rears
See also: The Education of Nikki Nine (gamelink); A foreshadowing Easter Egg, or: What complimenting the set designer gets you

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 30, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

On my way to San Francisco for the Erotic Exotic Ball, I stopped at the Dutch-flavored Andersen's Pea Soup Restaurant on Rt. 5.

I did not see Heather Vuur.

Previously: I, Vuur; Open bar at the Van Halen place, Night zero

posted by Gram the Man at Friday, October 27, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I cannot get the name Heather Vuur out of my head.

Ninnworx' contract performer and the star of Sacred Sin, Vuur was once known in less Ninnier days as Heather Vandeven. Under that name she was a Penthouse Pet and pal of the former Natalia Cruze.

As Vandeven is a Dutch name, it was perhaps fitting that when Heather got a little pornier she would choose as her surname the Dutch word for fire, and hang around with people named Van Halen.

But it just. doesn't. sound right and my brain is about to melt with this awkward juxtaposition of English and Dutch (which is what New York and Pennsylvania were for a couple of centuries, but still).

Would you say:

• Goodness gracious, great balls of Vuur?
• The North Hollywood Vuur Department?
• My mouth is on Vuur? (well, maybe)

Would you say:

• WWVD? (Thanks Lorraine)
• There's some trouble up at the old Vuur place?
• Stay away from those Vuurs, they's trouble?

Vuur/Vandeven (her real name is Abigail Van Buren) is a delightful person and we here at Gram Ponante Towers, kiln, slagworks, salt flats, and shady Mexican pharmacy wish her the best, especially since her name isn't Honey Dip.

Previously: Porn I'd like to see
See also: NinnWorx

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | 2 Comments Links to this post

Digital Playground has rolled out its 2006 contract girl product, the Shay Jordan, to join the Jesse Jane, Teagan Presley, Jana Cova, and Sophia Santi models.

DP sources deny depreciation of the older releases.

Like Hustler's contract girls, who each fill a certain niche (corn-fed girl next door, crazy cat lady, short-term enigma), Shay will round out a family of distinct roles. Speculation as to what her role will be includes the following:

• Upping the Does Guys quotient to 60 percent from 50 percent
• At 5'8", helping Sophia Santi to play keep-away from the shorter Jane, Presley, and Cova
• Helping Teagan out with the tie-wearing duties

In porn, it is best to either be All-American or multi-ethnic, so Jordan includes stripes of Asian, German, and Filipina, as well as a little bit of American by way of San Diego.

Everyone seems to like Jordan, who appears level-headed and wholesome, as well as drug-and disease-free. In fact, the only things she oozes are "sex appeal and self-confidence" and, instead of sharing needles, "she shares synergy with Digital Playground and is looking forward to becoming one of the worlds most demanded sex symbols".

Jordan currently appears in Teagan: Sexual Freak 2 and will first headline in Shay Jordan: Sexual Freak 3.

Previously: Pink Submarine; Jesse Jane's Freak Show
See also: Digital Playground

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

"...but there is, unseen by most, an underworld; a place that is just as real, but not so brightly lit..."

As you know, Mya Luanna is about as tiny and complex as a compound molecule. According to the literature accompanying her latest for Hustler, The Dark Side of Mya Luanna, the contract girl is tired of acting all sweet and innocent and now demands your attention like never before.

Vignettes involving Luanna turning the tables on her McBoss, Katja Kassin doing something German, and Adrianna Nicole strip-teasing menacingly all coalesce into one big advertisement for being afraid of women all over again. Then there's an orgy in a library showing Luanna's distaste for peace and quiet.

The Dark Side of Mya Luanna is available today.

Previously: Nine falls on the Cold Valley; End of the summer; Of Mice and Mya Luanna

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

As you know, Gram Ponante.com is your source for transgender news, transsexual-related hockey scores, and dating tips for she-males.

Today's New York Daily News reports that men who live as women are now allowed to use New York Transit System restrooms for women.

A group called the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund filed a complaint against the MTA on behalf of a 70-year-old Verizon technician, born Henry McGuinness, but who now pees as Helena Stone.

Some MTA riders were wary that predators might dress as women to take advantage of the new ruling. The MTA said that commuters were free to use bathrooms "consistent with their gender expression".

The brouhaha and eventual ruling, which resulted in the restitution of $2,000 in legal fees for McGuinesss/Stone, diverts attention from the real problem, which is that only deviants use public toilets in New York City.

Previously: Allanah Starr will try anything once; Jay Moyes: Flames, floggers, and fangs
See also: Girls' room his, too (nydailynews)

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

In its continued struggle to make sense of half-heard airplane conversations, things scrawled on restroom walls, and issues on the November 7 ballot, the team at XXXUrbanLegends (along with Karen Kim) recently shot the Hoover, in which one's partner imitates a vacuum cleaner during wholesome, consensual sex.

Exactly how your partner gets to the vacuum cleaner position will be explained in the forthcoming video.

I call this the Samara (or, in Japanese, the Sadako) due to the implied presence of a vengeful ghost.

Whatever you call it, those Froot Loops stay gone.

Previously: The possible Blumpkin; Billy Glide night at PSK
See also: XXXUrbanLegends

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 24, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The Erotic/Exotic Expo and Ball returns to San Francisco's Cow Palace this weekend, as will I.

The Ball was instituted in San Francisco in 1979, and a consumer expo component was added two years ago.

The Expo features erotic art, exotic fashion, sexy products and adult toys from hand-picked exhibitors, plus contests and prizes, a spiritual oasis, a free goodie bag, panel discussions, live burlesque performances from entertainers booked to perform for the Ball, and everything from staged Same Sex Weddings to a Human Petting Zoo.

Your guess is as good as mine as to what a spiritual oasis is. Those things don't exist down here. Just the other day I was at a Jack in the Box drive-through.

"Would you like to try our Sourdough Jack Value Meal?" a voice asked.

"There is no God," I said.

The Cow Palace is an historic edifice in San Francisco which was built to host livestock events and other ruminant-friendly affairs like the Grand National Rodeo.

It is fitting, then, that a leather event like the Erotic Exotic Expo will be held in a place that has such a fondnesss for pre-leather.

The Expo and Ball offers half-price admission to dwarves and midgets. I'm not kidding. Those of you who attend adult events know their attractiveness to little people.

In addition to performances by Thomas Dolby and George Clinton, the Expo and Ball will feature appearances by Tera Patrick, homewrecker Cytherea, Lynn LeMay, Sydnee Steele, Olivia O'Lovely, the congenial Sunny Lane, and Devinn Lane (no relation), who will host a MILF Makeover Contest (I'm assuming this means they take your children away).

The Exotic Erotic Expo takes place on Friday and Saturday, and the Ball will happen in the same location on Saturday night.

pictured: Tera Patrick's appearance as the Rum-Tum-Tugger in Cats.

Previously: I like the way you stink; Erotic/Exotic redux
See also: Erotic Exotic Ball, Cow Palace

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 24, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I was a judge at Cousin Stevie's 19th PussyParty yesterday.

Q. Grams, how does one judge the pussy?
A. I always follow the United States Constitution, which is a sexy, sexy document.

The house was once rented by Cytherea, and I was treated to photos of how she left it. I asked the owner if I could take pictures of the pictures, but he declined. If the pictures were to be believed, it would have taken the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to divert a river through the place in order to clean it up.

"What is that?" asked a woman pointing to several spots in one of the pictures.

"That is where she let the dogs go," said the owner gravely.

Anyway, the house was beautiful once again.

Sasha Knox, in her penultimate performance, texted naked.
Knox, the most innocent-seeming of the group, also spent a lot of time exhausted from being tossed this way and that.The German Ana Nova, hard at work.
Rebelle Rousers director Octavio Winkytiki was the set photographer. I busted him for betraying the alt lifestyle.
The German Ana Nova's leg, hard at work.
I became a fan of Cindy Crawford, who seems to enjoy what she's doing to Nikki Hunter.
This is hard to do. Have you tried it?
The Hungarian Clara G. She had the look of a runway model but was very jovial and not-insane.
My thermos stands proudly among the other sex toys used in the day's festivities. I will not say if it was used or not.
It is possible to hang out by the pool naked without a webmaster convention showing up.
There is nothing fetishistic about my work.
The action got so intense that at one point someone's arm fell off.

Pussy Parties are great fun. Cousin Stevie fluidly manages an operation that would otherwise be like herding cats.

Previously: Pussy Party gallery; A patriotic Pussy Party; Day rate plus anal
See also: Cousin Stevie

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 24, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

I was driving through North Hollywood the other day when I felt the need to stop my car.

"Porn is happening somewhere near here!" I cried, and got out. Moments later I found myself knocking at the door of a second floor apartment, in a well-kept complex arranged around a swimming pool in a residential neighborhood.

I had been given the address by Jason Sechrest, kabbalah-soaked publicist for the transsexual performer Allanah Starr.

Behind the door I heard a male voice.

"Dude with a package," he said. I am often mistaken for talent, despite my lack of charisma.

A naked woman answered the door, opening it just enough.

"I'm here for the shoot," I said.

"Downstairs," she said, and closed the door in my face.

I walked downstairs to another apartment. I knocked and the door opened, revealing a purple room festooned with bondage equipment. Perched atop a little cage in the middle of the room was Allanah Starr, but the door had opened, it seemed, by itself.

"Are transsexuals telekinetic?" I wondered, having not read deeply of the literature.


The door had been opened by Gia Darling (above), the day's other transsexual, and the owner of the company for which Starr would be shooting. Both looked like solid porn girls ready for action. A third person entered the room and I naturally assumed she was a tranny as well. But it was Anita Cannibal.

"Girl, you got to put your face on!" I didn't say, not snapping my fingers in a zigzag fashion. Showing the pictures later, I was surprised that several pornish associates were not able to tell who the genetic female was.

Taking in the scene, I realized I'd never been to a porn set in someone's apartment before. I'd been to offices, hotel rooms, warehouses, industrial spaces, airports, golf courses, churches, lofts, McMansions, real mansions, car washes, and boiler rooms, but never something as normal as an apartment. Further, this apartment, from which I could hear families swimming outside, heedless, was a dungeon.

Awesome. Way to stick it to Westside Rentals.

Allanah Starr is very nice.

"I was born in Cuba," she said (she pronounced it Coo'-ba, so I know it's authentic), "and came to Miami, then New York. I'm just here this week."

Because I am mired in my own laterosexual worldview, I am afraid my questions of Starr sounded naive.

"I can't seem to find a consensus on what a genetic male who dresses and identifies as a woman, who has both a penis and breasts, calls herself," I said, rattling off the terms transsexual, tranny, shemale, T-Girl, and Tom Hanks' character from "Bosom Buddies".

"I call myself a transsexual," Starr said after a little consideration. "The industry term is usually 'she-male'." In fact, Starr's website is called She-Male Exotica.

I asked her if the transsexual porn population was worried about Brazil's status as the Tranny Capital of the World, the way Hollywood is concerned about runaway production to places like Vancouver, and she said she wasn't, but admitted that content is a lot cheaper in Brazil. She hedges her bets by having a lot of Brazilian content on her website.

Starr noted that there wasn't much of a transsexual scene in Southern California. I mentioned that, to the layman, the scene seemd restricted to Santa Monica Blvd. between certain hours of day.

Starr's experience this week will be a little lonelier than that of other adult performers in California from out of town. "When I come here to work," she said, "I do five or six shoots in a week and try to chill out as much as I can, because there isn't very much else to do here."

Starr said that tranny content is usually shelved with gay material, and that stores in general had a hard time classifying transsexual products. I asked her what the optimum conditions would be.

"We need our own category," she said. Not gay, not straight, transcending ethnic boundaries, and with no reliance on midgets.

T-Girls are the new X-Men. Whose side would Magneto be on?

Starr and Darling both described today's scene, filmed as part of Starr's Big Boob Adventures 2, as "campy". Starr played the principal of Darling, who had been caught rendering blowjobs in the school bathroom. At a parent conference, Darling's parents, played by Anita Cannibal and a fellow named Jimbo, offered alternatives to Darling's expulsion.

"Is this your first tranny shoot?" Starr asked me.

"No, my second," I said, thinking of Mya Luanna.


The scene wa different, obviously, for a couple of reasons, but the main one was this: in a straight scene, Starr as the principal would have seduced the parents. In this scene, Jimbo provided the impetus.

"Surely there's a way for our daughter to stay in school," Jimbo said. "You look like you haven't been fucked in a while."

"All right," Starr said to the camera. "I'll try anything once."

Starr removed her top and Jimbo went to work below.

"Oh My God!" Cannibal said. "The principal's got a penis; and my husband likes it!"

This was Starr's first scene with a genetic female, she said.

Cannibal is studying business at CSUN and hopes to go to law school by next fall. She has been in the adult business since 1997, featured in movies like Porn Queen Feet and this year's World's Oldest Gangbang for Metro. She wants to be the first porn star with a law degree, as opposed to the recent trend of lawyers dating porn stars.

From Anita Cannibal's blog:

...assimilating into the academic realm has proved challenging at several levels.
Expectations on the professors at the college of business are sadly unrealistic. It seems the 11 billion dollar a year industry that surrounds them has somehow been ignored as a potential market for graduating students. The industry statistics, finances, marketing force, accounting, and economic impacts are my favorite subject matter in the college of business. Not only is it the same SIC codes as Hollywood but inherent is the challenges of censorship and creative thinking beyond the scope of mainstream studios. Thanks be that most of the professors have allowed me to customize reports my ponofied lexiphile interests.

Jimbo fingered Cannibal's pussy while Cannibal blew Starr, then there was a short break, because the small office set, though credible for an apartment, was also getting hot.

"Bring back the Clam," Darling said of Cannibal.

Today was advertised as Allanah Starr's first DP. I asked how a double pennetration was going to be pulled off, what with Starr being short one of the traditional apertures.

"We're going to improvise today," she said. I got the feeling that, like "transsexual". the double penetration was open to interpretation.

I stayed for about an hour, noting that, for certain reasons, this was the best smelling porn set I'd been on for a long time, as well as a very friendly one.

I walked out of the purple tranny dungeon apartment into the 90 degree October day. It was the fact that it was so goddamn hot in October that I found weird.

Previously: At home with April Flores and Carlos Batts; Tucker: a tran and his breasts; Tranny kept a' rollin'; Transsexual stripper notes
See also: Allanah Starr, Gia Darling

Labels: "set visits", transsexual

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 23, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

Eon McKai, writing from Berlin (Germany, not New Hampshire) where his Girls Lie debuted recently, joined forces with Buck Angel in denouncing the United States.

"Fuck the U.S.A.," McKai said. "I'm selling my shit here."

"Germans are into shit," I noted, all cosmopolitan.

Striving to make his point, McKai added that man-with-a-pussy Buck Angel agreed.

"Buck Angel feels the same," McKai said.

"Feels the same what?"

I can't tell you how many people try to convince me to do something just because Buck Angel has done it. It sucks.

"Would you like french fries?"

"No."

"Buck Angel, the man with a pussy, likes them."

"Fine."

While in Berlin, McKai was interviewed by the German media outlet Der Spiegel about the sexual weltshmerz that is steveporn, and revealed that he joined Vivid for its college loan repayment program.

Previously: Is the feature dead?; Vivid's imprint-o-rama; Vivid-steve launched
See also: Alternative smut for the silver screen (der spiegel)

posted by Gram the Man at Sunday, October 22, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The very dapper Don Benn, owner and editor of the Porno News Network, will relinquish day-to-day management of the outlet as of November 1. While Benn recovers from complications of brain surgery, he will contribute articles at a reduced rate.

Benn has been writing aboout the industry for eight years ("six of the best years of my life," he said in a letter).

The Philadelphia-based website will be managed by former AVN managing editor John Paone come next month. Regardless, we wish Don a speedy recovery and a short hiatus.

Previously: Porno News Netowrk obliterated
See also: Porno News Network

posted by Gram the Man at Sunday, October 22, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

The facts are these:

The other night I traveled to Orange County, where I have heretofore only visited Disneyland (four times), turned down a job in Long Beach (once), been horrified by what passes for dinnertime entertainment at Medieval Times (once), watched my friend purchase a firearm (long story), and had a seagull crap on my head, through a car sunroof, on the way to San Diego (once).

At several establishments in the Greater Irvine/Newport Beach area I consumed the following: Margaritas (six), hard cider (one), curly fries (30+), steak & cheese Ciabatta sandwich (one), sushi and faux sushi (15 + pieces), Jager bombs/Deer Hunters (depending on where you're from) (2.5), egg rolls (three), and sake (1/2 bottle).

Because I was there for research in addition to consumption, when I returned I was a prime Blumpkin candidate. My question is: Is it a Blumpkin when one is just very gassy?

Previously: Speed dating with Angela Stone; Loving the donkey punch, hating the donkey puncher; It's the great Blumpkin, Billy Glide
See also: XXXUrbanLegends

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, October 19, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

"That's that Vixen Vogel from Minnesota!" I cried when I opened a small care package from Pink Visual containing Gang Bang Squad #8.

There is something about Pink Visual's M.O. of simulating the casual seduction of random women in parks, McDonalds, and coffee shops that seems just creepy enough to be real.

One imagines swingers, older, industrially-tanned strippers, and guys in goatees and boardshorts roaming all over Los Angeles and the Tucson area with mini-DV cameras, just making it happen.

So I saw Vixen on the cover and knew she was in for 1. the simulated pickup in a public area (turns out it was a park), 2. her removal to a place in which several guys would be hanging around, at least one wearing sunglasses indoors (check), and 3. the extraneous narration of the guy behind the camera ("Ryan DePalma").

Opening the DVD, I was surprised to see the redhead listed as "Christina", but then realized that these movies are usually DVD compilations from websites, so the "Vixen" transition had not yet happened. "Christina" had been in Los Angeles for three weeks at the time.

Gang Bang Squad 8 was a pretty rough movie ("They didn't have to pretend they were kicking her out, naked, into the street," I thought), but still much better than From Justin to Kelly.

Previously: Vixen in Fresh Ripe & Ready; Erotica L.A. in review; Redhead at Rouge
See also: Pink Visual

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, October 19, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

What is it about former figure skaters from the Sunshine State that makes them so nice? Is it because the struggle to find non-mojito-based ice in Florida forces one to become effervescent?

Both Sunny Lane and Dana DeArmond were once figure skaters before they worked for Disney and/or porn, and both are very pleasant to be around (despite the shocking criminal record of one of them).

That is why it is no surprise that Lane, who will be interviewed tomorrow on Tha Good Fellas Show on L.A.-based KDAY 93.5, recently took the Congeniality award at the Tampa NightMoves show.

You might be amazed, Reader, how noncongenial some in this most intimate of businesses are, but for Lane the Congeniality award is definitely deserved.

Ever the astute businesswoman, Lane thanked both Satan and Jesus from the podium.

Previously: Porn stars prefer speaking to Gram; The Playboy Mansion in a nutshell; Dana DeArmond helps topple MySpace
See also: Sunny Lane

posted by Gram the Man at Thursday, October 19, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Missy Monroe, who rocked a blowsy barmaid vibe that I admired and related to, looks all cleaned up on the cover of Lexington Steele's Top Guns 6.

Now Steele has always been a dapper gentleman. Look at him slinking back there, making sure to protect his camera and his eyes against the glare of these ultra-white women.

But I would not expect Steele to take away everything I hold dear about Missy Monroe by putting her in necklaces and doodads. It is like killing a mockingbird by coming on its face.

Anyway, if this is to be the new look for Monroe I will accept it, but I will need to go somewhere else for sloppy skankitude.

Top Guns 6 also stars Vida Valentine, Gia Paloma, and Lorelei Lee.

Previously: Fiat Lux Kassidy; It's that hundred dollar bash; Report: Jewelry biting on rise in bitch population; The Second Lex
See also: Lexington Steele
Purchase: Top Guns 6

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 18, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

As Master Yoda said, "Always three there are: Memphis Monroe and the other two."

Hustler has announced the arrrival of Nikki Nine to planet Earth, and a Hustler contract.

Apparently she has not been in a movie or posed for a magazine before. She is also allegedly 18.

Allegedly 18 is going to be my Barely Legal ripoff when I start my own company. Everyone rips off Barely Legal. My first Allegedly 18 will feature Michelle Aston, Tyler Faith, Lisa Sparxxx, and Dana DeArmond. I will just have them text each other all day and insert emoticons into each other.

When I have my weekly summits with the people who control the world's pornography, the complaint I most often hear about contract girls is to a lesser degree the same one I hear about adult actresses in general: they do not have a solid work ethic (people immediately begin chiming in with numerous exceptions to this theory).

As a lack of motivation has been the concern about certain previous Hustler contract girls, though, what is the reasoning behind giving someone with no experience a contract?

Anyway, Nine replaces Shy Love, who was allowed to break her contract, and joins Mya Luanna and Memphis Monroe.

Hustler is very excited about Nine and has great expectations for her, including her ability to effect climate change in Southern California. A press release posits a world in which Nine is so hot that the temperature drops everywhere else, to the point that one can view one's own exhalations.

"Nikki Nine is the breath of fresh air the industry hasn't seen in a long while," it says.

(picture courtesy Adam Carolla)

Previously: Belladonna in a haystack; Of Mice and Mya Luanna; Derby Day for Memphis Monroe
See also: Nine is not this Rochester burlesque vixen

posted by Gram the Man at Wednesday, October 18, 2006 | 1 Comments Links to this post

I just got finished reviewing Digital Playground's Cock Asian for one of my east coast intellectual employers when I heard that Nautica Thorn, featured in one of the solo scenes, had been voted "Hottest Girl in Porn".

Wow! I thought. But it turns out that contest is a weekly competition and Thorn just snagged Week 41.

That is not to say Thorn won't win the whole shebang at the Hottest Girl in Porn 2007 awards in Las Vegas.

When you think about it, that should be a refreshingly short show.

Things that almost rhyme with Nautica:

• Erotica
• Gattaca
• Battlestar Galactica

Nautica Thorn is no relation to Damien Thorn, the AntiChrist.

Previously: More geisha news; Dreaming of blondes; Will this be killed?
See also: Cock Asian review (fleshbot)

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 17, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Sunset Thomas, former madam of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, host of HBO's "Cathouse", and VCA legend, will host the fifth annual KSEX Awards, to be held December 2 at Paladino's in Tarzana.

Voting begins today for the fan-based awards, which include the category "Best Knob Slob".

XBiz spawn XFanz is the official media sponsor of the event. Other XBiz media sponsorships have included Adultcon and the Temptation Awards.

In other news, I have been named the official media sponsor of my drive through Jack in the Box later. “It makes perfect sense that we come together in this event and tag team the industry and fans in plenty of future events as well," I said in a press release.

To vote, click here.

Previously: What makes boobs real?; You'll always have a shoulder to squirt on
See also: KSEXRadio

posted by Gram the Man at Tuesday, October 17, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

Sin City's Hookers, directed by Club: Jenna's DCypher, features Hannah Harper going Deep Cover and becoming that which she is investigating.

Her transition from journalist to hooker is so seamless that one forgets she was ever a journalist at all.

Q. What does it say about journalism that it is so easy to make the career change to hooker?
A. Not much, unless we are talking about my kind of journalism.

After seeing Hookers, I don't know why people keep blabbing on and on about Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein; it's not like they became the President.

Read the review here.

Previously: Hannah Harper and the DSM-IV; DCypher becomes ronin
See also: Sin City

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 16, 2006 | 0 Comments Links to this post

As you know, October is the anniversary month of my Ringwraith wound from that accursed Morgul blade on Weathertop, so you can forgive me for getting all Renaissance Faire on you for a second.

These images are from BareMaidens, a site that was developed this year by photographer Alan, who has shot content and boxcovers for several companies, including Vivid, Lethal Hardcore, and Red Light District.

The Bare Maidens usually appear strong of arm and capable of handling many horses. Charlotte Stokely actually smiles, which happens when one rides the dragon's breath.


Alan uses models in and out of the porn industry, and his rules seem to be single girl series without male interaction. I asked if any of the porn girls balked at the scanario.

"Most of the models are very into the whole fantasy thing," he said. "They have ideas and bring a part of themselves into it."


Woman of Rohan, Elf-friend, or Near Harad Douchebag?

"I let them choose if they want to be good or evil," he said, "and what sort of character they want to be."

So Lacie Heart worked up the character "Lacie of Endillia: Chosen to lead Najenia in the quest for the missing stones of power".

I asked Alan what he did when the other students were playing football and huffing glue at recess.

"I used to play Dungeons & Dragons as a kid, and always loved fantasy movies," he said. "'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy is my favorite."

"Never heard of it."


The site contains photosets of about 30 models, including Riley Mason, Ava and Mia Rose, Cytherea, Lacie Heart, and Monica Mayhem.

Previously: Kami Andrews: "I want to fuck geek girls."
See also: Bare Maidens

Labels: fotos, LOTR, website, WGL

posted by Gram the Man at Monday, October 16, 2006 |