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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Gag Order Factor: JM indicted for obscenity
 JM Productions, its owner, Jeff Steward, and a distributor, Five Star Video, were slapped with a seven-count obscenity indictment on May 23 for "knowingly" transporting DVDs or digital content judged to be obscene to an area of the country, Northern Virginia, that has not been traditionally porn-restrictive.The videos were two Gag Factors, an American Bukkake, and a Filthy Things. Before porn could be delivered digitally, via web streaming, download, and VOD, companies needed to be aware of interstate restrictions and not send certain content to certain places. One DVD clearinghouse notes "a history of obscenity prosecutions" in various locations and will not send material to zip codes in places like northern Florida, several cities in Texas, Cincinnati, and the whole of Utah. But Northern Virginia is not on that list. "I have seen counties added to the Do Not Send list, but I haven't seen any come off," a representative of another adult DVD retailer (and a Five Star competitor), said. The rep noted that Adult DVD Empire, which was the unnamed distributor in Extreme's indictment a few years ago and is considered by many to be the most cautious adult e-tailer, did not have Northern Virginia on its Do Not Send list, either. Various companies have thousands of zip codes they will not ship to but, similar to Adam & Eve's practice, the zips are not publicized, so consumers would only be told at the point of purchase or by a customer service representative that their area was off limits. Northern Virginia was not on Five Star's radar, either, despite the "knowingly" verbiage in the indictment. "My suspicion is that the Feds chose a place that hadn't had an obscenity prosecution previously," the competitor's employee said. "so no one would be blocking it." I am reminded of Mark Twain's book "Life on the Mississippi", which talks about the challenges faced by riverboat captains. The mud deposits on the riverbottom shifted so rapidly that the waterway was different each day. "The terrain does seem to change constantly and no one really knows the rules - because, in reality, there are none," she added. I talked with a JM employee who, naturally, was not at liberty to say too much. "How are you doing?" I asked. "There's nothing bad happening here," he said. That reminded me of another high school book, "The Diary of Anne Frank": Anne’s sister, Margot, died of typhus at the end of February (or the beginning of March), after having been critically ill and in a coma for days. Anne was already sick at the time, and she was not informed about her sister’s death. After a few days, however, Anne sensed what had happened, and soon afterward, she herself died, peacefully, feeling that nothing bad was happening to her, shortly before the camp was liberated by the Allies.Who are the Allies? See also: JM Productions Indicted on Federal Obscenity Chgarges (AVN), JM Productions ¶ Wednesday, May 31, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post  
High-Def men
 As you know, GramPonante.com: Porn Valley Observed is your one-stop shop for all things gay, from pegging to trannies to men who get calf implants.Q. But none of those things is gay. A. Allrighty. Anyway, Entice.tv has same-sex partnered with San Francisco's Oh Man! Studios to roll out the first gay hardcore high-definition movie, Behind the Secret Door, which answers the question: Q. What can be more secret than a secret door? A. Whatever is behind the secret door (I'm assuming it's overstock secret stuff that couldn't fit in the secret room). Behind the Secret Door, the first gay production shot, edited, mastered and distributed in HD on Entice.TV, revolves around the debauched goings-on in a house of carnal pleasure. Directed by Oh Man! Studio President Bruno Riccelli, the title features Ben Campezi, Brady Martin, Branden Star, Danny Lopez, Dillon Press, John Marcus, Mark Galfione, Matthew, Nick Capra, Brad Benton and Ty Hudson.True story: yesterday I was going to an appointment in West Hollywood, a traditionally gay area of Los Angeles County. As I walked past the Tomkat Theatre, one of the only gay moviehouses in Southern California, a man approached me. "Do you want to see a movie?" he asked me. The sun was in my eyes and I didn't notice I was near the Tomkat, but I knew enough to be wary of anything Other than myself. "No thank you," I said. "I just like having someone to talk to sometimes," he said as I walked past. It was then that I noticed where I was. "He thought I was gay," I thought, which resulted in my remembering another true story: When I was younger I visited pre-Katrina New Orleans for the first time. I sat by the banks of the mighty Mississip. A man walked up to me. "Would you like a blowjob?" he asked. "No," I replied, and added: "I'm not gay." "You don't have to be gay to want a blowjob," he said, and that quote is way up there with my personal Truer Words Were Never Spoken list. Regardless, I chose to not accept the Universal BJ that evening. "A mouth is a mouth," my wife later said. "Allrighty," I said. Among my many personal prejudices is that gay men tend to look much better than straight men, so if a gay man thinks you're gay, it's a compliment. Either that or the gay man hates himself and wants to debase himself on you. So imagine, Horrified Gay Readers, how exquisite HD Gayness will look. Previously: I will be your father figure See also: Entice.tv ¶ Wednesday, May 31, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
She shall be Devon (or shall she?)
 A reader asks:Grams, is Devon still with Digital Playground?Between reports of escorting and passing the dutchie, along with the common porn star problem of bogus MySpace accounts, it is difficult finding the real story, much less The Real Devon. I asked Digital Playground's Anal Load Lee. "Devon is not with us. And we didn't keep her name," she said. An entry on a site that looks like it might have been written by Devon (or our President) reads: Hey0 whats up!!!!!!!! Man ive been goin through so much stuff lately over people trying to have a piece of me but fuck them. haha. they need to start smoking weed the way i see it. First off i want you all to know if i ever dissapear and you know what i mean, its cuz of my x company. Enough money can make someone not exist besides a stage name. Past that my head is up like always just more motivated. Whoever the fuck you are sending death messages to me and my fiance's private emails have fun getting payed. Here's the whole truth though. As of right now our current investor pulled out of our project becasue i can't use the name devon so they never believed in me personally anyway then. move on:) This shit is still happening but im layin low underground for a bit but wanted to say hi to all my fans. Smoke a bowl for me cuz ive been rippin them for you. On a good note today is sunny and beautiful so thats whats best:)!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is wakeboarding and after that im suppose to learn how to skateboard at this local skatepark. haha. i bet im gonna break my arm or something. lol. Anyway i gotta bounce out of the area for a bit but love you all and catch ya on the flip side. Even if it sounds like im bummed and being negative its nothing like that. I finally see this horrible industry from the outside after kiicking it with tons of cool people away from porn. My email is full of people saying lets boycott digital playground so thats sounds fun to me. haha. real fun!!! oh yeah i saw some funny shit today. i was hanging out by the local taco truck getting some quesadillas and some random bum guy got thrown out of the back of a vans beat up to hell so i gave him my pack of cig's cuz he needed it!!! he wasn't allowed to tell me what happened but we offered him the couch for the night so tonight we might be smoking some fat bowls with this cool homeless guy. haha i love kickin it with everyone. if anyone has every heard the atmosphere song -angelface that song is tight. the most random people in the world can make your day flip from bad to the best day ever!!!!!!!!!!!! never make fun of someone homeless because you should ask them thier story instead:) anyway i just smoked a blunt and and gonna go rip my roor. lates everyone. XOXO KristieI don't know what's real anymore. One thing is for certain: if "Kristie"'s entry is true, I am going to their neighborhood to impersonate a homeless person. It seems like a really good way to get drugs. Previously: Devon Escortique; How I saved Digital Playground ¶ Wednesday, May 31, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Diver Down
 While it has yet to be confirmed if there will actually be mid-air penetrations, Platinum Blue is searching for "extreme sexual athletes" to audition for its skydiving air-porn, not tentatively titled United 69."To match that sort of adrenaline with sex," Producer Skye Blue said of the scheduled shoot in the desert around Taft, CA, "for someone like Voodoo, for example, to land after falling 150 miles per hour, whip his dick out, and get a blowjob from a woman who landed right behind him is much more thrilling than a donkey punch." Skye Blue is herself an acccomplished jumper, but sources within the studio, which has advertised for three men and three women to jump from a plane, say that whether or not the cast gains admittance to the Mile High (but Falling) Club depends on their jump skills. “This isn’t just for experienced jumpers. I’m looking for people thatIf it is just to be a nude jump, will the male performers get a little help beforehand? Flying through the air can be a retractile experience. UPDATE: "There will be no airborne fucking," said Platinum Blue publicist Jay Moyes. "Nudity yes, but at over 150 miles an hour and with only 30 seconds to a minute to open the parachute, it gives a whole new meaning to the term performance anxiety." Platinum Blue has been Parachute-Only since 2005. Previously: Miamateurs; Fantasies: this time they're forbidden See also: Platinum Blue , Come on, Dave; Give me a break ¶ Wednesday, May 31, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Have a cigar
 As anyone who knows me knows, I am big into Vishnu. I admire the multi-armed Hindu deity for its can-do attitude, no-nonsense pants, and joie de vivre.At first I thought Vishnu was helming Digital Playground's point-of-view release Pulse because I'd concluded that only the darling of 1.2 billion Indians could talk, fuck, and run camera at the same time. Then I discovered differently, learning that there had been a combined effort. Read the review here. This movie has nothing to with Pink Floyd, though all the blowjobs draw heavily on the writings of Syd Barrett. Previously: Lanny Barby in a bodybag; Teagan: "More in the ass." See also: Digital Playground, Robby D. ¶ Wednesday, May 31, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Kimberly Kane - just because
 The set photographer was working hard. "Could you smile?" he asked Kimberly Kane as he put her through several uncomfortable poses, including this one, which I like to call Christmas at Gram's Place. "Smiling's not the sort of thing I do," she said. Previously: Mikayla; The Fever for the flavor of a skater See also: Adam & Eve ¶ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Going throttle up with Chasey Lain
 The artist Ann Jones, unlike Edward Gorey and James Thurber, should have never picked up a pen. For her exhibition "Chasey in Wonderland", her ultra-wordy justification of superimposing paintings of Chasey Lain over images of acts of terrorism and destruction almost derail the effect of the art. If there is any.
(I didn't add the "(...)") Here is my thoughtful depiction of Brianna Love, Briana Banks, and Rita Faltoyano at the Fall of Saigon, 1975. Check it out! I'm an artist! I will be out the rest of the day applying for grants and stuff.  Previously: Joe Gallant: "The machinery is weird"; Mary Carey hosts a happening See also: Ann Jones, Fleshbot post ¶ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Housing glut
 Are property values high in neighborhoods in which there is both a House of Ass and a House of Anal? How about where Desperate Wives live next to Desperate Housewhores?Defiance Films has released Cindy Crawford's House of Anal. While, aside from the posterior focus, I cannot imagine it is very similar to Tristan "Gram doesn't understand pegging" Taormino's House of Ass, it does seem to capitalize on the name. This is unfortunate, because I would classify House of Ass as a "feel-good romp" and House of Anal as a "light-hearted frolic". They don't appeal to the same audience. Either way, I wouldn't want to be the maid. If porn companies can't name their films responsibly, we really need government regulation. Previously: House of Ass review; Cock-rubbing fuckfest See also: Defiance Films, Adam & Eve ¶ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Queen for a A
 Teenage Anal Queen Codi is, like Marie Antoinette, young, attractive, and royal.But is she truly happy? Does the tiara with matching belly ring make up for what Erica Jong did not call the Squeezeless Poo? What will she do when the anti-Anal Monarchists riot, as they did in Les Poopchutables? Confessions of a Teenage Anal Queen also stars Sasha Knox, Samantha South, Amber Rayne, and Luna Croft Previously: Sunny Lane a spinner by comparison; Intelligent Design; Butt Busters 2 review See also: Lethal Hardcore, What I wish I had thought of first ¶ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Pop smear
 "Cum-loving sluts suck, smear & swallow" trumpets the copy for Nicki Hunter's Cum Swallowers 3, and once again I am embarrassed to be confused by something that I guess should be obvious.When does the smearing come in? I must know every cum-loving slut in this G-dforsaken Valley and at no time has one said to me "Grams, I wants to smear it." Are the sluts supposed to swallow after the smearing? I guess that's what they'd have to do, right? If so, isn't it difficult to swallow what's been smeared? Do they put it on a bagel first? This movie stars wee Jersey Jaxin, Nyomi Marcela, Sasha Knox, Trinity Post, and someone named Dasani Lezian. Previously: Report: breasts popular; A Note on the type; Cum-drunk love ¶ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, May 28, 2006
What makes boobs real?
 The last time I was on KSEXRadio, which is an Internet radio station housed, for the time being, in a nondescript section of Burbank (which is a real achievement, because Burbank has won the Nondescript California title three years in a row, and to be in an even less-descript part of a nondescript town takes some doing, or doesn't), I had occasion to look over at some of the comments being directed my way by chat room participants, and they weren't flattering. Granted, I was on a couch between Angie Stone and Cytherea, and they were both naked, while I was sitting there with my microphone in my hand. If I had paid KSEX' monthly fee and logged in to find me sitting between two squirtrices I suppose I would have a problem, too. I just wouldn't have typed in nasty things about my glasses. Instead, I would have accentuated the positive and asked Cytherea to squirt on the camera or something. So it was with the feeling that I, sensitive and otherworldly, would get made fun of in this most looks-oriented of businesses that I went to see my pals Wankus and Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith, along with 2006 Penthouse Pet of the Year Jamie Lynn. Tyler was under the weather. She'd had a headache all day and spent much of the time bundled up with her accessory dog, Italy. I was so happy that she'd not called in sick that I didn't say: "You call that a dog?" Tyler has two manufactured breasts that are as distinctive and well-loved as the Boston Gas tank off the Southeast Expressway. They are named Mutt and Jeff and she celebrates their birthday each year. People from Portland, Maine to its counterpart in Oregon have 8 x 10s of them in their lockers at the factory. Jamie Lynn, born in Porn Valley's spiritual center of Northridge, has natural Ds. I mentioned that the peer pressure to get fake boobs must have been overwhelming in Northridge. "But why mess with these?" she asked.  I thought of how many bad boobjobs I have seen that could have been prevented with a question like that. But I also admit that my thinking about fake boobs has changed in the past five years. I think because I'd had a relationship with someone who had some sloppy work done that I dismissed everyone with fakers. Now the fake boobs are part of the overall package (you know, like hair and nails, which are so very important to me). So when Tyler Faith and Jamie Lynn sat together I didn't think "One of them has fake boobs and one of them has real boobs." Instead, I thought, "A person who wasn't in a loving and supportive relationship like myself would want to have sex all over those tits." And then I remembered, with great satisfaction, "and so would my wife." Penthouse isn't what it once was, Jamie Lynn onfirmed. With its bankruptcy, loss of market share, and its dubious connection to iBill, among other woes, the magazine is recovering from a lack of focus. "They took out the dicks entirely, removed the pink, and now are trying to concentrate on hitting the 18-35 age group rather than putting in political articles like they used to," she said. She added that now there is again active competition to be a Penthouse Pet, where for a while that honor wasn't something a model would necessarily seek out. Lynn showed me her Penthouse key, which was heavier and shinier than its predecessors. Despite Penthouse and Playboy toning down their magazines and aiming at the FHM demographic, both companies have recently sought out porn stars. Playboy has embraced Jesse Jane and Kirsten Price, and Jamie Lynn herself appeared in Hustler and Elegant Angel videos before becoming a Pet.  It's always a pleasure hanging around with Tyler Faith, who talked about which Boston Bruins she's dated and who will be in that "My Bare Lady" reality special in which porn stars are given theatrical coaching for a play in London's West End. I hope they do MacBeth, because Tyler would be excellent in that: I have given suck, and know Towards the end of the evening, Chef Jeff, Kinzie Kenner's main squeeze and Elegant Angel's webmaster, came by. So it was Tyler, me, Jamie Lynn, and Jeff on the couch. It seemed like it was successful masturbation's version of a 7-10 split. I had a great time. We sang the UnFAITHful Secrets theme song, and the chat room was so impressed with Faith and Lynn that it forgot too chastise me for not having breasts. Previously: Report: Breasts popular; Girls that Love Girls w/Big Fake Tits; Sophia Santi and Heather Vandeven: AEE 2006 See also: KSEXRadio, Team Tyler, Jamie Lynn, Penthouse ¶ Sunday, May 28, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, May 26, 2006
Barbecue on the rocks
 I visited Daniel Dakota's production of Land of the Amazons last week, which was on a property that may or may not have once belonged to The Captain & Tennille. Isn't even the possibility of that awesome?? I can guarantee that there was no muskrat love in this production, although there was a giant bug. Here is a picture of Yvette Bova preparing the meal. For a gallery, click here. Previously: Mikayla, just because See also: Adam & Eve ¶ Friday, May 26, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Load v. Code
 In the battle I've manufactured between The Da Vinci Code and The Da Vinci Load, it is clear that the winner is the film whose dialogue is silly on purpose.While people who have flocked to Code have not read the reviews (the jury is out on whether or not getting through the book on which it is based qualifies as "reading" in the same way swallowing a handful of lug nuts shouldn't count as eating), I have always liked the work of Paul Bettany, who plays the evil, misguided albino in the Hollywood version. I like Paul Bettany because I am fond of saying, "Bettin' 'e sold his soul to the Devil for Jennifer Connelly," but that is not enough for me to see that movie. The Da Vinci Load, on the other hand, legitimizes the awful book by creating such a creditable ripoff of it. I still think the boxcover is unfortunate, though. Previously: Da Vinci ReLoaded; Da Vinci Load review ¶ Friday, May 26, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Our Boobies, Ourselves
 While I am attracted to women who refer to their breasts as "boobs", I think it is a certain kind of person who calls them "boobies".The enigmatic Simon Wolf has released Natural Big Bouncing Boobies, featuring Brandy Talore (pictured), Missy Monroe (with brown hair), Kelly Kline, Aspen Stevens, Lindsey Brooke, and Gianna. Talore looks like she's saying, "I didn't like it when you called them boobies in eighth grade, and I don't like it now." Previously: Hustler to Britney Rears: Cover your dirtypillows; Little Naturals; Kelly Madison: Why Titties?; Candice Von's left breast See also: Simon Wolf ¶ Friday, May 26, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tyler Faith, Gram on KSEX tonight
 I will be joining Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith and Penthouse Pet Jamie Lynn on KSEXRadio's Wanker Show, hosted by Wankus, this evening at 7 PST.Doubtless we will talk about grooming, the Guccione family, the Blue Line station at Orient Heights, the lack of quality clam shacks out here, how Wankus is being framed for this YouTube madness, and how Internet radio is all about drinking. Either that or I will move to one side of the couch while they rub their boobs together and say things like, "Oooooh, mah pu-say-ee-ow." Previously: Faith's fuckin' healin' hands; UnFAITHful Secrets See also: KSEXRadio ¶ Friday, May 26, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Chupa mi culo, robe mi colchon or: Pull My Daisy
 Sativa Rose and Daisy Marie are hot Mexicanas. Rose is from the state of Sinaloa and Marie, though she grew up in Salem, Oregon, spent a lot of time with family in Zacatecas, which is southwest of Sinaloa. The two got along great amidst the free dildos, leopard-print furniture, and heavy redness of the Video Secrets studio in Calabasas, where they met to frolic naked for The Great Internet Experiment. "Calabasas is Spanish for 'pumpkins'," I repeated, just to hear myself talk. "I am having my period," Sativa Rose said, but neither of us was in the same room. I last saw a prostrate Sativa Rose in Digital Playground's Deeper. "Yeah, that was weird," she said. I had visited this studio last month for an Angie Savage/Crissy Moran pairing, and I was kind of waiting for a shoe to drop. Savage and Moran were great together, so I assumed tonight would be the night that the knives came out. It was statistically inevitable. It would go like this: "Hi, bitch. Nice ass." "Thanks, bitch. Nice face." "Oh no you didn't!" Instead, Rose and Marie got along famously, and indulged their Internet callers with plenty of Spanish dirty talk, including the subject line. The two handled various marital aids for the amusement of subscribers to the video feed. They practiced blowjobs on a dildo. Marie said she gave a lot of blowjobs in high school and liked pre-come. "You sucked all the pre-come out of that dildo!" Rose said admiringly.  The Video Secrets studio has been undergoing some major renovations, no doubt paid for by the huge amounts of traffic I send them. There was a bed I remembered that was no longer there. "We decided to throw that away," the web producer, Ciara, said. She estimated that about 500 women and men had performed straight and gay shows on or around that bed. "If you used a black light on that mattress ... " she began, but abandoned the thought. The company rented a dumpster during the renovation and threw the mattress in it. It was gone the next day. "I can't imagine why someone would steal a mattress out of a dumpster behind an office building," she said. "I guess they didn't know what it had been used for." I looked at the scrolling display of men on the computer screen, demanding Sativa Rose and/or Daisy Marie lick each other's butts. "Or maybe they did," I suggested.  Sativa and Daisy laughed a lot. Young Paul A. Johnson of Larry Flynt's HustlerWorld picks the talent personally for these nights, which are known as HustlerLive. What will he do when he runs out of the sweet ones? For a gallery of hot Sea of Cortez-adjacent action, click here. Previously: Different Underpants: The Angie Savage & Crissy Moran Story; Swallow the yellow thick load; A day without porn immigrants; Carnaval en Ensenada See also: HustlerLive, Video Secrets ¶ Thursday, May 25, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Oh no, there goes Milano, go go Blackzilla
 I would like to think that Shane Diesel, by all accounts a kind and thoughtful person, chafes a little at the idea of being known as Blackzilla."I am not a monster," he might say, absently swatting at airplanes and walking into the sea. It's also difficult because Diesel already has a porn name. Is he now supposed to answer to both "Shane Diesel" and "Blackzilla" if spotted in the Anal aisle at Ralph's? If you think Diesel's got it tough, though, consider poor Britney Rears. Now there's two of them, each of whom already has a porn name. But I've never met a meta porn star I didn't like. Diesel, as Blackzilla, services five ladies, including thunderstruck Italia here, in My Hot Wife Is Fucking Blackzilla 3. I wonder if Italia got it in the boot as well? (I'm here all week.) I can't tell if the husbands the "My" refers to are shown in the video, or if there is a special room for Weak Men. Previously: Are you there, God? It's Me, Blackzilla; Go go Gojira, Dakota; The Hair down there See also: Digital Sin, Blue Oyster Cult, Toho Studios ¶ Thursday, May 25, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Watch Me Cum digitally
 After easing the market into High-Definition broadband porn by coding features like Wicked's Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre, Entice.tv is aiming directly at you, the unvarnished porn consumer who is offended by dialogue, interesting camera angles, and women who appear to have eaten recently by presenting Digital Sin's all-sex Watch Me Cum 3."The IPTV format is a perfect way to watch Blackzilla fuck my hot wife," one consumer said, adding, "My cuckolding is really thrown into sharp relief." Previously: I will be your father figure See also: Entice.tv, Digital Sin, Wicked Pictures ¶ Thursday, May 25, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Fiat Lux Kassidy
 I am the type of person Vivid Entertainment wants on its side. The struggling company, recognizing the slow diminishment of the blonde gene, needs America's Beloved Porn Journalist to lend it credibility before the natural resource upon which Big Porn makes its fortune dries up.That is why I was not surprised when newly-minted Vivid Girl and Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, and Heliport Interior Designer Lux Kassidy invited me to her first-ever shoot, Lux's Life. "Of course I will help out your marginalized outfit," I said. "And could you invite Self-Hating Lew, too?" she asked. I contacted Porn Journalism's Grand Old Man and told him the news. "Tell me what the times are," he demanded. "I don't have much time today. Give me her number." He did not even say thank you. Baptist Guilt. I arrived at a house south of Ventura Blvd. in Encino yesterday afternoon. Encino was originally known as Los Encinos, or "The Oaks". "I am an oak," I reminded myself, trying to reach my arms around my massive frame. Kassidy was inside. She and I go way back. I met her boyfriend, the photographer Kaden, on the set of Elegant Angel's Squirtwoman 3. Together they manage a studio and loft space in downtown L.A. in which I became the World's Greatest Porn Director. "I modeled before, high-end art nudes, so when I was at AVN this year I decided to take it to the next level," she said. She eventually met Vivid's Steve Hirsch and the two hammered out a deal for six movies a year and several personal appearances. Lux's Life is her first porn movie and her scene on Monday with Samantha Ryan was the first time she touched another woman's vagina, offscreen or on. This was hard to believe, but not because I didn't believe her. Is today's discerning porn audience really expected to accept a lesbian scene between two women who don't really love each other and who have never before shared the softball-playing fruits of their love?  "I've been friends with Samantha for a long time," Kassidy offered. Well, OK. I busted off a couple of shots. Lux was being all serious and badass, like her Twentynine Palms cell addresss would portend. "Could you please smile like a UCLA cheerleader?" I asked. The house we were sitting in had been purchased exclusively for the purpose of shooting porn. There were views of southern Porn Valley, privacy from the neighbors via a hill and a retaining wall, a guest house, cable, Internet access, several bedrooms, an attached garage, a makeup room, and a gaudy chair shaped like a high-heeled shoe. The rental was $1850 a day. I began to formulate an idea about housing the homeless in vacant porn locations when Missy Monroe walked in and my thoughts journeyed elsewhere.  I like Missy Monroe. A lot. There are those who don't. They are fools. Missy was to play a punk rock chick (she changes her haircut every three months to confound consumers) in the movie, which was to be shot reality-style. "I didn't know you were going to be here," she said. "I didn't know you were going to be here," I breathed. Monroe has appeared in every porn movie ever invented, and she's not even 22. It doesn't matter if its Assphyxiated or a Pussy Party or a Vivid movie, she's in it. Director B. Skow has been shooting Vivid's boxcovers for more than a decade and has been directing for about a year. He also recently launched Rockstar magazine, which he described as "sexier than Playboy". He caught me drinking the production's Kahlua and demanded I write a scene. "You want a hit, give me an hour plus a pen and a pad," I said. "You need an hour?" he asked. "No, just a piece of paper," I replied, feeling a Margoldian wave of grandiosity wash over me. "I will create a scene so gorgeous that even the neighbors will get into the AVN Hall of Fame." (I knew that in this part of the Valley the neighbors probably already were in the AVN Hall of Fame.)  Here is the scene:Peter Garrett lookalike Christian is cooking at the barbie. Missy Monroe sits down. Missy Monroe: Where's the punk rock party? I'm here for the punk rock party. That's why I'm sitting down. You know, for the punk rock party. Christian: That was yesterday, baby. It's today now. CHRISTIAN continues cooking. MM: Are you a cook? Christian: Yeah. MM: I like food. Christian: Oh really? MM: Yeah. I like the way it tastes. I like to put it in my mouth. Christian: Yeah? MM: Do you know what else I like? Christian: No, baby. What? MM: To suck cock! I like sucking cock! Christian: Well today's your lucky day, baby. MM: Why's that? Christian: Because I've got a cooler full of meat. In addition to my pants. Which are also full of meat. The scene was executed flawlessly. Would that those hacks at Lincoln Center had realized my vision half as well? The cast and crew stopped shooting for a moment to reflect and to cry. Missy Monroe and Lux Kasssidy are both 21. Missy, God bless her, has had so much traffic in her ass it should be staffed by the TSA. "Lux's first anal?" I asked. "15 months," Monroe predicted. "By August 22, 2007. My 23rd birthday." Later on, Kassidy did her second-ever porn scene with Chloe Dior, who was preparing by eating a McDonald's salad. Dior seemed like a nice person, but I couldn't stay.  "Lux," I asked before I left. "You realize that Girls-Only is a gateway drug. Do you think you might ever do guys or ... worse?" "Well, I'm leaving my options open," she said. I didn't want to be indelicate and ask if she'd never been with a man before, either. For a gallery, click here. Previously: My Vivid visit See also: Lux Kassidy, Vivid, Kaden Photography, a related Fleshbot article ¶ Wednesday, May 24, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Rock the Cradle (of Love)
 Last night I was standing outside Porn Star Karaoke (nice job Wankus), talking to a guy whose name I've forgotten because I hadn't been drinking so I wasn't on my A game.He was telling me about the porn actress Rose Petal and asked, "And guess what she doesn't do?" "Anal," several people answered simultaneously. It made me think of when I was working at UPS and a woman in the Small Sort said, "That bar had more zeros than Agawam."* Anyway, Boxcover of the Week goes to Vamp Pictures' Babysitter Fantasies, featuring Emma Redd and Don Hollywood on the cover. It is rare that a boxcover is allowed to tell a story, but this one does. It says, "Injured on the job? Our attorneys can get YOU the money YOU deserve." (Hollywood is also an attorney.) Also in the cast are Anal-avoidant Rose Petal, Brooke Hunter, and Nicole Moore. *Teamsters and postal employees would also find that joke funny. At UPS, the management laughed so hard the coke fell out of our noses. Previously: Felix Vicious: the things we put inside us; Skinny Bones See also: Vamp Pictures ¶ Wednesday, May 24, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Paola Rey's Central Station
 In Paola Rey's Brazilian Letters, Rey, not a tranny, responds to sexually adventurous letters from Brazilians and/or people who love them.These scenarios are then acted out by the likes of Eva Angelina, Sativa Rose, Daisy Marie, Dana Vespoli, and Dominique D'Amore. There are no trannies. This movie is not to be confused with the 1998 film Central Station, in which a Rio de Janeiro hustler pockets the letter-writing money given to her by illiterates (none of whom are trannies). Both movies are sure to be cornerstones in Brazil's emerging non-Tranny cinema. See the trailer here. Previously: Tucker: a tran and his breasts; Trannies and the Constitution; Industry fearful of Brazil twink dominance; See also: Defiance Films ¶ Wednesday, May 24, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Slurpeez takes the safe route
 Jessica Jammer's sweet face and unfortunate porn name on the box of Sammy Slater's anal creampie epic Slurpeez is probably the hardest thing to "Only the true pervert can appreciate a movie where a guy cums inside a hot girl's ass and then the whore pushes it out into a glass and drinks it up," Slater said. "This is strictly for the hardcore degenerates out there." Feh. "True pervert." Feh. I would like Sin City's sales team to give me the name and address of each person who buys Slurpeez so I can travel outside a 100-ft. radius of such lightweights. It might be that I'm just jealous every studio in town has rejected the terabyte of footage I've already shot of what will undoubtedly be seen as my masterpiece, Gram Ponante's Urine-Soaked Invalid Vixens Getting Dog Food Fucked Down their Throats by Disembodied Dwarf Cocks while Amputee Trannies Eat the Dog Food Shit through the Mesh Seats of the Wheelchairs the Parawhores Are Strapped in 2: Alt Throttle. Slurpeez also stars Chelsie Rae, Samantha Silver, Haley Scott, and Britney Rears. Previously: Gay for Double-A; Bait 4 something to 'bate 'bout; Smokin' Crack 2: The Sequel; Seymore Butts' Party Bus See also: Sin City ¶ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Evil on the Wane, Kane
 Speaking of wrestling and porn, Taylor Wane plays the childhood inspiration of poor caged Glen "Kane" Jacobs, wrestling's latest crossover star, in the new movie See No Evil. Her picture hangs outside of the tormented boy's cage.The movie was directed by porn emigre Greg Dark and was executive-produced by World Wrestling Entertainment's Vince McMahon. Previously: Suddenly suplexing Seka; JM makes wrestling look heterosexual; Brandi Wylde/Tylene Buck See also: See No Evil ¶ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Candidate-hopeful takes one in the face
 Mary Carey, hoping to be an Independent candidate in California's gubernatorial election, receives Nick Manning's endorsement on her face in the new Legend movie Mary Carey for Governor."At least I have the gay vote," she did not say. That Carey seems overly confident is apparent in her wasting 18 million potential 2028 voters on her chin. Carey has only performed in eight boy/girl scenes, said director Cash Markman, and this will be the first time the money shot goes where her mouth is. You'd think with the new boob job it would land on that recently-developed real estate instead of her dental work, but you are not a political animal like Carey. As Carey cannot run as a Republican in the primary, she is still gathering signatures to compete as a non-aligned Independent. She finished tenth out of a field of 135 in the '03 recall. Previously: Mary Carey's competition; Mary Carey hosts a happening See also: Mary Carey for Governor, Legend ¶ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, May 22, 2006
JM attempts to make wrestling heterosexual
 After my eyes were opened by the seemingly-innocuous Village People I was ready for professional wrestling."When, at the end of a match in which two sweaty men bounce all over each other in underpants and boots, the victor dedicates his win to his 'girlfriend' or 'wife'," I told my younger brothers, "his 'wife' is probably also named Nikolai. "Don't get me started with Rob Halford," I added. Professional wrestling is undeniably gay, so JM Productions is attempting to co-opt the Full Nelson, a wrestling move popular with the lucrative gay scene, and make it safe for discerning straight audiences. This is a shrewd marketing move that was preceded by other successful crossovers like the gay cruise (Midnight Prowl) and Frankie Goes to Hollywood's original video for "Relax" (the American Bukkake series). Anal Full Nelson stars Ashley Blue, Katerina Kat, Jamie Elle, and Kelly Wells. It brings to a grateful public the grace, majesty, and flamboyance of a technique shared by two people who love each other very much. Previously: Whores at Ease; A Face for numbers See also: JM Productions ¶ Monday, May 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Carmen Hart before the wickedness
 Before Carmen Hart became a Wicked contract star she shot an Adam & Eve film called The More the Merrier, which was just released.I met her on the set of this movie last (August?) and we all ate Koo Koo Roo together with Sunny Lane and Carmen Luvana. "Only you can guide me through the perils of this business, Gram," she most assuredly did not say. The Carmen Hart I talked with on the links at the Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament two weeks ago was a lot more porned out - in a good way - than the one I met last year. In fact, for a few hours I wondered if there were two Carmen Harts. Here she is last August next to a sleeping driver and on May 5 with jessica drake. Anyway, read a review of Hart's first big movie here. Previously: Carmen Hart: Today, Missouri; Carmen Hart, Carmen Luvana, and Sunny Lane agree that driving to Gram's house and bringing him some steaks would probably be a good idea See also: Adam & Eve, Wicked Pictures ¶ Monday, May 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wonderland: Return of the Tounge
 "Your movie was gdo and orginal, but the part that was gdo was not orginal and the part that was orginal was not gdo." I was talking with a pal about spelling, particularly in porn. "I would be embarrassed of a spelling error in my publication," I said, "but there are so many spelling errors in porn ads and on boxes that it makes me think that companies assume the people who buy porn are just stupid." "The people who can spell care about spelling and the people who can't spell don't care," she said, and she was right.  I know Dcypher cares about spelling. He also cares about the environment, and our fish and ducks. I liked his movie, too. But who lets something like this happen? It almost seems like sabotage when the mistake appears twice on an ad that is otherwise very impressive. Previously: Wonderland review; May the Load rise to meet you ¶ Monday, May 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Holliday at the Car Wash
 Prior to visiting my first porn set (2002's Whoriental Sex Academy 4) I was very nervous that (1.) My body, or parts of it, would betray me, and (2.) Someone would ask - and they'd have had the right to - what I thought I was doing there without an understanding of how pornography is made in America.After I realized that (1.) was not going to happen I was also reassured that porn tolerates amateurs (insert joke about your least favorite porn personality/company here). It makes sense that it does. The amateurs can easily be taken care of by the people who've been around for a month or two, and the learning curve isn't steep. Having the right constitution for the job is another thing entirely. The people who stay in the business are wired differently. When I walked on the set of VCA's Car Wash Angels yesterday I did it complacently. I didn't know Car Wash Angels had originally been a Jim Holliday movie. I didn't know Hustler, in addition to remaking stuff like Ne(w)u Wave Hookers, was also These people were links to a time that is now over. And certainly there are plenty of people still around (such as Paul Thomas, Roy Karch, Bill Margold, Larry Flynt, and Paul Fishbein) who remember the time when what happens in day to day life in contemporary Porn Valley might have been grounds for arrest, but the market and technology have demanded that they move on, too. "The original Car Wash Angels had something like 18 girls in it," said director Jane Waters, who worked with Holliday but who said their relationship had problems. ("He used to call me 'O.T.' because I'd take a long time with a shot," Waters said.)  This Angels will have six girls in it, maybe five. "Holliday would also have many more sex scenes in his movies," Waters said, "but they wouldn't be the standard three-position scenes; they might be just a blowjob or something quick." Waters was working on Wendy Apple's 1985 porn documentary Fallen Angels and met New Wave Hookers director Greg Dark. "I was living in New York at the time but thought I'd move out to California," Waters said. "All my friends who were already out here were very encouraging for me to move out, so I did, thinking I'd get work. Wendy told me, 'Just promise me you won't get into porn'." After not finding work, Water became the "script girl" and film editor of New Wave Hookers, released in 1985. "That's why it was very interesting shooting camera for Eon McKai's remake last year," Waters said. But where Neu Wave Hookers had some money behind the production, this remake of a VCA classic was, although not low budget (the DVD will include a reissue of the original movie), definitely stripped down. Gabriela Banks was shooting a scene atop Jon Dough's motorcycle in a Mar Vista garage, and Samantha Roxx was in makeup. That was it. "No, we're not doing a shot-for-shot remake," Waters acknowledged. Bill Margold is a walking selective encyclopedia of the adult industry, though he was sitting down during much of our conversation. "Holliday wrote scripts you wouldn't understand," Margold said. "The people in his movies didn't understand them. To get a hug from Jim was a real honor, but people didn't really know him." Margold received a call from the LAPD on December 16, 2004, alerting him that Holliday had died. "We were best friends. He lived somewhere on DeSoto, but I'd never been to his apartment." Waters cast Margold as Morose, the brother of Ambrose, Holliday's character in the original Car Wash Angels. "They asked me at LFP why I wanted to cast him (Margold), and I explained the connection between Jim and Bill," Waters said. Why did Waters have to explain it? Anyone who talks with Bill Margold for five minutes (and to only talk with Margoild for five minutes would require only five minutes to be left on a cellphone battery or five minutes to be left in one's life) is informed of the connection between Margold and Holliday immediately. Margold won't stop talking about Holliday the way Ray Manzarek won't stop talking about Jim Morrison.  It is understandable, if not good, that an industry which makes its money off the backs of 19-year-old youngsters often pays little attention to its history. When I was at the AVN convention this year I asked 25 adult performers who claimed to be below the age of 25 what "Deep Throat" was. Two mentioned the Watergate leak, two mentioned the movie, and the rest said that deep throat was a blowjob technique.Of course all were correct, but it underlines the fact that, in an industry in which about 10,000 scenes are shot each month and in which most people spend less than six months, attention is fleeting. So, though I was utterly unfamiliar with Holliday's movies, I still felt concerned that a remake of his movie shouldn't miss the opportunity to provide a little history. Waters said the remake would be released as Jim Holliday's Car Wash Angels, and Margold said that the name was what was going to sell it. "I meet lots of fans who jacked off to the older porn films and that is the material they want to jack off to now," Margold said. Margold showed me two wreaths from Holliday's memorial service that would be on display in one of the dialogue scenes. "Holliday had about 35 women who were his 'Angels'," Margold said, "and each Angel added something in particular to one of the wreaths." There were bears, moccasins, gum drops, recording tape, and other mementos from "Jimmyland", which was what Holliday called his sets. Neither Gabriela Banks nor Samantha Roxx were petite like Holliday's "fidgets", but both had a classic porn star vibe to them. Both were brassy and solid. Banks, a redhead, broke into a cold sweat during her scene with Dough. She excused herself and wrapped up in a towel, shivering. She drank some water and returned a half hour later to complete her scene on the motorcycle. "I shouldn't have eaten that Carl's Jr.," she said afterward. She said she'd never seen the original movie, or heard of it. Roxx, who lives south of the border in Playas del Tijuana and bartends part time, had also not heard of the original movie. The casting was perfect, though. Roxx has a siren quality with a very deep laugh. She lent co-star Van Damage a pink shirt which he gamely wore during their scene together atop some tires. Damage has been in the industry since 1995 and knows a lot of the business' history. "I grew up watching porn and I wanted to know about the business," he said. He shrugged off feeling upset over people not being aware of history. "You can't make people care about it," he said.  Damage, like other successful male performers like Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, and Stephen St. Croix, takes the job more seriously than himself. His facial expressions in his scene with Roxx were straight outta 1997. Yesterday he was wearing a too-small women's hot pink tank top. Last week, when I first met him on the set of Land of the Amazons, he was wearing a loincloth. His attitude is in the right place: what does it matter what kind of outfit he's wearing if he is getting his balls pulled on by very dirty girls? It was a weird day. The alleyway outside the garage was in the neighborhood I'd moved to, sight unseen, when I arrived in Los Angeles five years ago. It was more run-down than I'd remembered it. Behind the low walls of apartment buildings were residents with camera phones trying to squeeze off shots of Banks in her towel. Nick Manning arrived in his Jaguar, which would be used in a later scene. It was overcast so there would be no carwashing, just fucking near vehicles. He was ready for his closeup in a bathrobe that read "Manning" on the back. He knocked on the locked door, barefoot, until a production assistant let him in. Camera phones popped behind him. Car Wash Angels seems like a perfectly acceptable production. Waters ran a tight ship, got several funny interviews, and put together a strong cast with women I personally enjoyed seeing naked. I couldn't help but think that people used to (what by comparison would be) big, sloppy extravaganzas might be disappointed nonetheless, and that the pairing of the old and new movies would reveal the newer, tighter, less expensive formula's limitations. Margold is among a generation of porn veterans who try to keep alive what the industry and the world seem inclined to forget. Sometimes this role manifests itself in a certain grandiosity. "Who made the coffee? It's great," I said. "I created it," Margold replied. If porn is more than just people fucking, shouldn't there be a library and archive somewhere? "When Holliday died, he had long before given up," Margold said. "He wasn't happy. He felt the world didn't recognize his achievements." Previously: "Shut up, please"; An ace that I could keep; One is the gooiest number ¶ Monday, May 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, May 19, 2006
Pink like South Beach
 Miami's UrgeXotica flogs a type of pornography featuring women a little juicier than the standard Porn Valley wraiths (talented though they are), leading people like me to recall the line "Red beans and rice didn't miss her."Pink Like Me II (can you see where I am on the boxcover?) stars the tasty Heather Silk as a photographer abusing the respect people have for members of the media. The movie also features Taylor Nixxx (no one is sure of the spelling), Camila, Cassandra, Esmeralda, Karina, Kelly, Mitchell, and Paola. You may view the trailer here. Previously: Masturbation and shame; Bogota girls son facil See also: UrgeXotica ¶ Friday, May 19, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Report: Race an issue in America
 You can't keep those plucky whites down, no matter how much you oppress them.Lexington Steele's Mercenary Pictures lets Whitey get the upper hand in White Mans' [sic] Revenge, featuring whites having their way with our women. Eve Mayfair, Jada Fire, Sydnee Capri, Olivia Winters, Marie Luv, and Monet Devine star in this thrilling social experiment. The white males involved all look the same and don't bear mention. Former President Thomas Jefferson offered encouragement from the grave. "It stands to reason that the so-called white man and the Nubian beauties can use each other so," he did not say. Fans of biological anthropology will note the white man's differently-shaped skull depicted on the boxcover. Previously: At home with Lexington Steele; Why you can't reach your keys; Vanessa Blue representing X-Girl See also: Mercenary Pictures ¶ Friday, May 19, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The Hair down there
 I'll go out on a limb and say that not a single woman I've met in Southern California - and this is outside of porn - whom I've had occasion to see naked has had a hairy pussy. This has not been true of other places I've lived, whether on the east coast, Bogue Chitto, Texas, Minnesota, or Europe.The only other place I've been in which 100 percent of the women I encountered were shaved was Brazil, and that needs to be discounted because that whole country is in the porn industry. If I ever, God forbid, leave this place, what will I find out there in the world? Just like it seems that only in the past few years have women started making out in bars as a regular part of the drink service, are all the civilians in the world shaving? "Might it be because women pay more attention to shaving because they live in beach communities?" suggested former AVN editrix Rebecca Gray. Yes, but how many people who ostensibly moved to Los Angeles because it's close to the beach have been in swimming after the first year of living here? My feeling is that porn culture has influenced real life in California yet again. Why else would it be that only in Los Angeles does everybody ride around in a solid gold wheelchair? But apparently it's everywhere. "You can't even buy panties with room for extra pubes anymore," said Adam & Eve's Libby Lynn from the company's mountaintop compound in North Carolina. "Everybody has French manicures, like the porn stars, and Louis Vuitton bags, and Tiffany charm bracelets." So a porn chick is losing out on some cash if she appears in a hairpie movie. A female porn company executive says that Eboney's thatch in Young Black & Hairy looks like it took two weeks to grow. That's two weeks she can't appear in another scene unless porn travels time (like Iron Man) back to 1982. Porn has made such inroads in the past few years that "natural" (real breasts, unshaved pubic area) is unnatural. "Now when I see a chick who isn't shaved, I automatically think 'Gross!' which really sucks for the feminist who lives somewhere in the recesses of my brain," the exec said. I asked Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith why civilians started waxing their ho-hos. "These girls thumb through Playboy and watch a little smut over the years and what they see these sex objects doing with their grooming, they do too," she said, agreeing that porn is 100 percent behind the trend of non-porners shaving. Faith adds that there is practical value as well. "Women who have slept with Hillary Scott probably shave just to make sure that they aren't sportin' any warts there, Buddy." Previously: Whores at ease; Unexpected anal = 19 days; MILFs, GILFs, and FILFs See also: Adam & Eve, Tyler Faith, Leisure Time ¶ Friday, May 19, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Carnage in the pool, or: How I like my blowjobs
 Disembodied girl-parts bobbing in a pool is the perfect visual to keep in my head as I'm being fellated.As the blowjob is a localized experience, it's better not to think of the person performing one as having all her parts together. Pleasure Productions has released a three-disc compilation of Sean Michaels' favorite blowjobs as delivered by 37 ladies, including Chloe and Brittany Andrews. "I had to limit it to 37, because a larger prime number like 41 would have been too many," Michaels, not a kabbalah enthusiast, did not say. The We Go Deep Trilogy Collectors' Edition will arrive in blowjob-friendly establishments next week. Previously: Fellate Expectations; Fellation fixation See also: Pleasure Productions ¶ Friday, May 19, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Hanging with Silver Lake Swingers
 Because I have not yet lived in Los Angeles for seven years (at which point love becomes disdain) I was eager to talk with artiste Vena Virago about one of my favorite neighborhoods, Silver Lake, which is the subject of her first porn movie, Silver Lake Swingers.Virago might be better known, for now, as Margie Schnibbe, the documentarian of 2004's Pornstar Pets. GP: When I think of swingers, I think of people of a certain age and hairstyle drinking boxed rose' and having pronounced tanlines. Your Silver Lake Swingers seem different. What is it about the triangle between the Red Lion, the Edendale Grille, and the "Silver Lake" itself that shatters that Orange Countyesque stereotype? VV: Call me sentimental or retro, but for me, the word “swingers” has always been evocative of the Swinging Seventies: Warren Beatty in Shampoo, the Golden Age of Porn, Plato’s Retreat, Deep Throat, Debbie Does Dallas, etc. It was my intention to have a bit of that swinging seventies spirit in a contemporary setting. The Silver Lake Swingers tend to hook up in the local bars and coffee shops, as opposed to organized swingers parties. Although the Silver Lake Swingers are reluctant to associate themselves with any group, I have witnessed some hook-ups at the Wednesday Night BBQ Club and at random Los Angeles Cacophony Society happenings. Most are hesitant to call themselves swingers for those exact Orange County (and San Fernando Valley) connotations you mention. The swingers here in Silver Lake are young, wild, political, and many consider themselves to be sexual anarchists. Yes, and I believe some do indeed hang out at the Edendale Grill as well as the Red Lion. And perhaps you have spotted some there.  GP: I disagree with the term "sexual anarchist"; I think you should just say you're gay. Is the movie a feature or a gonzo or some kind of hybrid? Set up a typical scene for us. VV: I’m no expert, but I believe Silver Lake Swingers would be characterized as a wall-to-wall. There is a simple set-up and then there is sex. A typical scene goes like this: The performers talk about Silver Lake and then they fuck. Although there is no script and minimal dialogue, the premise might be best described as a “mockumentary” in the style of Christopher Guest. GP: Having already made Pornstar Pets, which is a funny and accomplished documentary about porn stars, did you have any jitters about directing an actual porn movie? VV: Production days are long and intense and perhaps, prior to the shoot, it was the anticipation that made me the most nervous; e.g. once the day starts there’s no turning back, you keep going and no mater what goes down, you get through and finish, no matter how long it takes. In my mind production is like an acid trip. The thought of the trip induces a bit of anxiety, but the trip itself is thrilling and better than expected.  I am grateful that I was able to work with my friends. With the support of Eon McKai, Malachi Ecks, and the crew I felt confident that everything would work out fine and of course it did. GP: Now those guys are sexual anarchists. Are you under any pressure to describe the movie as "alt" or "steveporn"? If you had your druthers, how would you categorize the movie? VV: When I was in high school I hung out a bit in Max’s Kansas City and CBGBs. Most days I feel like I haven’t really changed much since then. I’m kind of like a big neurotic teenager, which is perhaps how all the alt kids nearly half-my-age put up with me. The cast of my movie is tattooed and all of the girls have real breasts. If alt porn did not exist I would not have a directing job. No one would hire me. GP: Were all the locations technically in Silver Lake? VV: All of the locations were in Silver Lake except for the Nietzsche Bangers scene, which I felt belonged in this film even though we shot that in Downtown Los Angeles. GP: Where is Silver Lake's Porn Ground Zero? VV: There was a time that Circus of Books ( Sunset and Virgil) would have been ground zero, but for the swinging alt crowd I would have to say the Silver Lake Lounge on a weeknight and then the Brite Spot Diner (technically in Echo Park) afterward.  GP: Describe the process by which you conceived of and wrote this movie, pitched it, and put together the cast and crew. VV: The Conception: Most of my movies document very specific times and place in my life. I had been wanting to make a movie about Silver Lake for a couple of years. A while back, I had applied for a Creative Capital (a New York Arts Funding organization) grant to make a documentary about my community. I didn’t get the grant but I still wanted to make a movie that was bigger than something I could finance out of my own pocket. Silver Lake Swingers became that movie. I thought it would be fun to make a Silver Lake porno after there had been a couple of failed television dramas about my neighborhood. Perhaps Silver Lake can only exist in mainstream media as pornography. Perhaps pornography is representative of the next wave of Silver Lake gentrification. Perhaps gentrification and pornography are one and the same. GP: That's what I keep telling my homeowner's association. VV: The Pitch: Wit Maverick and Eon got me in the door at LFP/VCA. I pitched the Silver Lake Swingers idea to Drew Rosenfeld and he was very supportive of the project. The Casting: Malachi and I cast it. I spent a long time staring at pictures and asking Malachi questions. He was very patient with me. Malachi is very good with people and all of the girls love him. I was extremely happy with the performers and their scenes. The sex is hot, but it’s also very tender. The Crew: I worked with people I know and love: Eon McKai was the Director of Photography, Malachi Ecks was the producer and Jackson Slain was the UPM. Drew at LFP/VCA requested Octavio Winytiki for stills and I was really happy that he was available. That was the first time I had worked with Octavio and I think he‘s great, I love hanging out with him, he’s so fun. I’m fortunate that Eon was able to shoot it. We have worked together for a long time and I have a lot of respect for his talent. More friends: The notorious Chuck Bronco (who just happened to get me my first San Fernando Valley porno job a few years back) wrote the theme song. The theme song is insanely wonderful. We shot the majority of the movie in the homes of two of my friends. The psychedelic house was created by my friend Bliss. His house is legendary and has been featured in books and magazines. My former art-studio mate Rhonda was the PA. She’s amazing.  GP: Does Baby Hans make an appearance, and/or will people acquainted with Margie Schnibbe see familiar things? VV: My artwork is in the movie and I appear in the BTS. Babyhans gets a music credit. For fun, I put my house and my dogs Hans and Mickey in the BTS as well. Maybe someone will take pity on the pathetic state of my home and buy some of my artwork so I can get a housekeeper and get Mickey to the groomers. There is a mention of the documentary in the BTS. Pornstar Pets has become very present in my life again as we have a new distributor (MVD/Music Video Distributors) and a street date one month prior to the release of Silver Lake Swingers. I’ll be promoting Silver Lake Swingers at our screening of Pornstar Pets in New York on June 10th at the Two Boots Pioneer Theater in the East Village. GP: Was this a Quit Your Day Job experience? VV: I quit my day job two days after we wrapped. I couldn’t wait. I’m ready to make more movies. GP: That's the best news I've heard all day. Now if we can only get some other people to quit their day jobs. Previously: Vena Virago: the Porn Spec; Hookers, reality, suicide See also: Vena Virago, Baby Hans, Pornstar Pets ¶ Thursday, May 18, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
McCartney, wife to no longer do it in the road, anywhere
 One of the most effective measures of people of a certain age (ahem) is whether they like John or Paul. Like Coke v. Pepsi, it's not that people hate the alternative, it's just an unavoidable, natural leaning to one side that is imposssible to change.While I was never a bigger Paul fan, there's something about Heather Mills that makes me feel sorry for him. A friend of mine was at a celebrity fundraising event recently in which Mills chastised and taunted people to donate to her landmine charity. Here is a picture of Mills from her days as a topless, legful model. McCartney did not sign a pre-nup, and there is a chance that British law might award his wife of four years up to 25 percent of his estate. I'm sorry that it took him so long to find out (but he found out). Previously: I, Jimmy D; Mason's Sluts; Nacho Se Divorcia See also: She’s leaving home . . . but will divorce net a record £200m?, Paul McCartney, Heather Mills pics via TabloidRabies.com ¶ Thursday, May 18, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Mikayla - just because
 This is the charming Mikayla in the Manson-rich hills above Topanga Canyon, where she was playing the Amazon Queen in Daniel Dakota's Land of the Amazons."I don't have a MySpace account," she said, refreshingly. Can you guess what time it was? Other than Gram-time? Previously: Go Go Gojira, Dakota; Ashley Brooks See also: Adam & Eve ¶ Thursday, May 18, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Britney Rears: Time Lord
 With AllMediaPlay's recent announcements that Britney Rears 2 has sold more units than Elvis, the Beatles, and Our Lord Jesus Christ combined, I was shocked to hear that Jessica Sweet, the actress who originated the role of Britney, and who brought to the part a delicate soulfulness that made America learn to love again in a post-9/11 world, quit the role."Jessica left of her own accord," said AllMediaPlay president Jeff Mullen from a trendy Chatsworth break room. "She was fired," said an anonymity-craving Hustler source. It was probably a combination. "Promoting these things is off da hook," said Britney Rears director Will Rider. "With 10,000 titles coming out a year, you have to be up in people's grills all the time. Jessica wasn't feeling that." So Britney Rears 3, a time-travel epic that started filming weeks after its predecessor was released, features Hillary Scott in the title role.  I noted all the parallels this Britney would make to other series in which a major character was replaced by another actor, like On Her Majesty's Secret Service's James Bond (George Lazenby stepping in for Sean Connery) and Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban (Richard Harris/Michael Gambon). Or would it be more ominous, like in The Godfather Part III in which George Hamilton replaced Robert Duvall as the consigliore? "I don't know what you're talking about," Rider said. "It's like this:" Mullen interrupted. "Hillary might stay for one episode or she might stay for three or ten. There's no end to the adventures Britney Rears can have." I asked Scott if the Britney shoes fit, if she could go the distance, if she could go to the mattresses with this Britney phenomenon. "Oh yeah," she said.  Perhaps the best comparison is that Britney Rears will become like Dr. Who, with different regenerations and assistants. Indeed, Britney Rears 3 involves our heroine going back in time to 1974. It would be great if Houston played a Dalek. Previously: Britney Rears 2 review See also: Britney Rears ¶ Wednesday, May 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Exotic & Erotic: if you say so
 As a former New Yorker, I can tell you that "exotic" and "erotic" are two adjectives way down on the list to describe the city.What better reason, then, to have the decades-old San Francisco staple Exotic Erotic Expo and Ball come to the Big Apple? New Yorkers are big on the irony and often spend all day making air quotes at each other. This event can be great fun, what with all those drag queens, sex-positivists, porn stars, and Thomas Dolby trying to out-sexy each other. Yes, this year Thomas Dolby will perform. The Exotic Erotic Ball was founded in the early 80s by Perry Mann as a fundraiser for his partner's run for President. Louis Abolafia was the Nudist party's candidate and is remembered for coining the phrase "Make Love, Not War". Will New York's first hosting of the event, scheduled for June 16 and 17 at Pier 94 (and featuring stars like Red Sox fan Tyler Faith, New York tourist Joanna Angel, and Oz spouse Tera Patrick, as well as Carmen Luvana who, as a Puerto Rican, is as close to local as the event will get) be as exuberant as the San Francisco version or might it get mired down in unsexy hipster ennui? Either way, I plan on attending because this summer is dead for porn conventions. I just hope Joe Gallant shows up with prints of Fuck My Meathook Fetus. Previously: Yet more awards; XBiz announces Vegas tradeshow in July; A clockwork tradeshow See also: Exotic Erotic Ball ¶ Wednesday, May 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Study: no shortage of teens in porn
 Jack's Teen America is now up to issue 14, ending speculation that there might be a scarcity of teens (or women impersonating teens for our purposes) entering the porn market."The feel good fun continues as Jack's entire crew gets fucked and sucked by the contestants, and all are eager to take home the crown," report scientists. This installment stars Jamie Elle, Sara Stone, Brooke Haven, Brandy Talore, and Michelle Maylene. View a trailer here. Previously: Sativa Rose in Jack's Ten America 13; MySpace adds to suckiness; "I have to go to the bathroom"; Jack's Teen America and the mentally ill See also: Digital Playground ¶ Wednesday, May 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Your porn, crisply
 As you know, I get my porn for free, and so my understanding of its value is different from the poor slobs who have to pay for it. Porn flows through my life like a mighty river. I call that river the Pussissippi.Anyway, Entice.TV delivers high-definition porn (most recently running a promotion with Wicked Pictures) over broadband. It's like having the video section of iTunes on a dedicated channel on your computer or TV, but with much sharper focus. In addition, videos in standard or high definition can be rented for seven or 31 days, or bought outright. Let's say you don't know me personally, and instead have had to rent or buy Wax Dat Black Azz. With a $30 annual membership to Entice.TV's service, you or someone dissatisfied with your ability in the sack can choose from several different channels of content at a quality higher than standard VOD and almost the same as a DVD one might rent or purchase at a store without running the risk of unwanted scrutiny from the elders of one's small town or shunning. Previously: I will be your father figure; Stationary azz jiggle See also: Entice.TV, Wicked Pictures ¶ Wednesday, May 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Pussy Party gallery
 I have nothing against Lindsey Lohan, but I would still rather have Venus drive me, if that's all right with you.Here are some pictures of last weekend's Pussy Party. ¶ Tuesday, May 16, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, May 15, 2006
A Patriotic Pussy Party
 Right after the solo masturbation scenes in last Saturday's Pussy Party shoot, Cousin Stevie gathered all eight contestants to send a message to our troops. Their line was: "Get your (slap ass) ass back home safely (wiggle)." Soldiers have appreciated loose women since war was invented, and this Pussy Party message to the troops was a DVD and web-based example of something that has been going on for generations. The difference was how Cousin Stevie introduced the girls. "This is for all the soldiers out there, overseas," he began. "Whatever reason you're out there, if you think the war is a good idea or not, whether or not you agree with it, we just wanted to say we appreciate what you're doing." He hedged his bets like this for a minute or so before each of the Pussy Partyers gave her own personal greeting, each of which was devoid of any similar political gymnastics. The fleshpot Venus gave an individual shoutout to a Captain of her acquaintance. Among the many things the administration of George W. Bush can be remembered for is making your patriotism dependent on unqualified support of its policies. But, as you well know, a Pussy Party is not about this country going to Hell.  In fact, the great thing about Pussy Partys in general is the gentlemanly way in which they are run. "But Grams," you might say. "Pussy Partys feature women sticking three-foot dongs up their ass and calling each other 'ditch pigs'." While that is true, remember that the three-foot dongs (and even shorter dongs, butt plugs, glass dildos, fingertip vibrators, pictures of the Pope, and pogo-stick devices [more on those later]) are all arranged for the women to choose from them on their own, and no one has coached anyone to say "ditch pig". This just happens naturally. You might also say that that doesn't matter, because women would not do or say such things to themselves if there weren't a male audience paying for it, but then I'd wonder why you're reading this site.  Cousin Stevie runs a tight ship and the cast got along well. "Until today, there was always maybe one person in the cast who just didn't fit," Stevie said. There have been over a dozen Pussy Partys, and now and then personality issues arise that can make for good theatre, like the Dillan Lauren/Ava Vincent burrito smackdown. There were a couple of people on the King Klit set in November who caused some grumbling from the rest of the cast, but on this set everyone really got along. This Pussy Party featured women who appeared to have been around the block a few times. It is well-known that the porn industry craves newcomers, but a lot of the talent Saturday were of the happier-but-wiser variety of adult actress. Phyllisha Anne, for example, reminded me of the only woman in the neighborhood growing up who'd been divorced and could wear a bikini; the other ladies hated her but she made men of us.  One of the toys available was a dildo attached to a device that looked like a pogo stick. Upon inserting the dildo, one could press down on the handle of the pogo device and cause the dildo to move up or down. Because the pogo was about four feet tall, it allowed the user to stand and lean. Felony used this device and nearly collapsed with the effectiveness of it. I had never seen Felony before. She was juicy. In fact, I had never met any of these women before, only read their names or seen their pictures. There was Kaylynn, Alana Evans (who wore pink boots and was always smiling), Arianna Jolie, Sindy Lange, and Nikki Nievez.  Nievez was a surprise. She is in the Belladonna/Naudia Nyce school of very dirty talkers, and resembles them both. She told me that those are the two people she would most like to do a scene with. During her masturbation scene, she repeatedly slapped herself in the face. Here are some of the things she said to the camera: "Do you want to watch me feed my sickness?" "Fuck me like a gutter rat, you fucking weasel."  I like 'ditch pig' best," Nievez told me. "I think about what I'll say beforehand." For the life of me, I'd thought Nikki Nievez was a black booty-shaking girl from movies like Phat Buttz Drain My Nutz. I don't know why I thought this. Instead, she is a white Cubana from Miami. Similar to this, when I first heard the name 'Skeeter Kerkove', I imagined a little bald man with glasses (I don't think he wears glasses). Kaylynn, using a very small vibrator, got off early, or at least was convincing in appearing to. "I'm a cheap date," she said. "This is the smallest boyfriend I've ever had." As with other Pussy Partys, the day progressed from solo masturbation scenes to couples to foursomes to an eight-girl orgy. Because it is a day-long shoot, because the participants have a better chance to get to know each other, and because there isn't a sense that the talent didn't just come from one scene or were preparing to go to another, these are the only events in my personal porn world that make me want to, er, participate. But this is a Pussy Party, not Pussy Party con Carne. Later in the day, before the winners were announced (I have been requested not to say who they were) Sindy Lange performed a feat that I have never before witnessed: she pulled water into her vagina with a straw. You will see this when this Pussy Party (following the military theme, tentatively subtitled either Fuck Troop or Snatch Patrol) comes out later this summer. Previously: Pipinka Party; Classy; Day rate plus anal See also: Cousin Stevie, PurePlay Labels: 818locations ¶ Monday, May 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Da Vinci reLoaded
 Just this weekend - on a porn set, no less - I met someone who was reading the annotated "Da Vinci Code". How could that book be annotated?1this is stupid 2this is historically inaccurate 3how much did you pay for this? 4I bet you're also into Kabbalah Anyway, my new hero Nelson X came up with a script for The Da Vinci Load and sold it to Hustler last year, and the movie will be released next Tuesday. It's my favorite porn film this year. It's funny, it's smart, and it takes itself seriously only every so often. It also gives the porn consumer more credit than he/she usually gets. Like the Airplane! movies, it is better than the source material it's parodying. It is for this reason that I suggest you look past the boxcover for this movie, because there is nothing in the boxcover to suggest the movie is anything out of the ordinary, or that the movie has any personality at all. Previously: Pal Joey and the zen of porn; May the Load rise to meet you; Da Vinci Load review; Barbed Wire confidential ¶ Monday, May 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, May 12, 2006
Barbed Wire confidential
 Artist Zak Smith (a/k/a performer Zak Sabbath) provided this prototype boxcover for Benny Profane's movie Barbed Wire Kiss that was ultimately rejected by VCA. The new cover features Amber Rayne with some black splotches behind her, which is a surefire hit and will probably sell about a billion more units. I believe that with this new boxcover, 1 in 6 of the world's citizens will buy the Barbed Wire Kiss DVD when it is released on May 30. Because I directed a scene in the movie (basically I apprised performers Adrianna Nicole and Tee Real about my faith in Xenu and told them to go to it), I am paying more attention to Barbed Wire Kiss than I would to, say, There's a Black Man in My Ass 2: That's What's Happening. Here are some pictures from the set:  Adrianna Nicole  Amber Rayne  Caroline Pierce  Amber Rayne with undertaker Previously: I am the world's greatest porn director See also: Barbed Wire Kiss; Ode to trailer ¶ Friday, May 12, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The fever for the flavor of a skater
 Vivid-steve's second movie out of the gate will be Dave Naz' Skater Girl Fever, starring Kimberly Kane and Faith (pictured here).Octavio Arizala's ReBelle Rousers will arrive a month earlier, on July 20, following a three-month ad blitz in AVN, an adult industry trade publication. Eon McKai's Girls Lie will be out in September, just in time for he start of classes. Previously: Vivid wins steveporn war before first movie is released; Whither Steve Banan? See also: Skater Girl Fever trailer ¶ Friday, May 12, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Mary Carey's competition
 While Mary Carey's name is not on any ballot, her California gubernatorial campaign website is still better than that of the Peace & Freedom candidate.For thirty years, you have turned to this website for guidance in voting, but we cannot endorse Carey here at Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, and Helipad on the bases of her rack and artistry alone. While her porn for guns campaign is innovative, her implants are disingenuous. That is why we can't endorse Schwarzenegger, either. The only fun that could be squeezed out of the 2003 recall election was the 250 or so candidates that emerged, including Carey and Larrry Flynt. The election was such a debacle that even throwing away one's vote on a joke candidate seemed an acceptable form of protest. But the glut of candidates also made California seem silly. Previously: Blue blue windows behind the stars See also: Mary Carey, Phil Angelides, Steve Westly, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Janice Jordan ¶ Friday, May 12, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Stationary azz jiggle
 Soon people will stop feeling the need to stick up their middle finger when someone points a camera at them, but I hope that the ass-jiggling some ladies do in certain kinds of movies (such as Black & Wild's Nothin' but a Gangsta Orgy), in which they bend over and commence jiggling their buttocks as if each cheek has a separate motor for the inspection of people like me (who say "Verily I will wax dat azz") will never go away.Read the thoughtful review here. Previously: Kurupt/Not Kurupt; Get behind me, Thetan; Girl, he be eating on your pants ¶ Friday, May 12, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Annie Cruz, Trina Michaels, and Mika Tan - just because
 It's not that I am familiar with Trina Michaels' work (I was very curious about Wet, Detailed, & Nailed, though); it's not that I've ever had lunch with Annie Cruz; it's not that Mika Tan has ever taught me to reload a Glock.  It's just a good idea that these three got together for fellowship and content sharing.  "When I say 'content sharing', I mean I haven't gotten to fuck you yet," said Michaels.  Previously: My good (porn) Friday; The world is your Royster See also: KSEXRadio ¶ Wednesday, May 10, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Vivid wins Alt war without shot being fired
 Regardless of whether AltPorn, like Plushy/Furry videos, is a good idea financially, it is something that the adult industry has been arguing about for over a year, and all publicity is good publicity in this business.Peter Reynolds, who until yesterday was VCA's vice president of sales and marketing, is credited by many for cajoling Larry Flynt Productions and the adult world in general into accepting AltPorn as a viable alternative to a stagnating gonzo market. Reynolds was an often passionate advocate for the work of Eon McKai, Ron Royster, Benny Profane, Joanna Angel and, most recently, Malachi Ecks and Vena Virago, all of whom found homes at VCA. One of the oldest adult companies, the Video Corporation of America was purchased by LFP in 2003 and seemed to be in a tailspin as it tried to redefine itself under new ownership. Reynolds arrived in early 2004. "We struggled with identity conflict for a long time," he told me earlier, "and there was a lot of turnover." Alt was VCA's iMac. In 2005 Eon McKai, who had worked at VCA editing and making DVD menus in the days of Veronica Hart and Jim Malibu ("after [VCA founder] Russ Hampshire was bought out," Veronica Hart said, "VCA was just three initials that stood for Larry Flynt") was commissioned by VCA to make Art School Sluts, which represented a departure from the implant-heavy Porn Valley content being produced with its parade of natural, mopey, tattooed, sock-wearing hotties. McKai, now managing Vivid-Alt, credits Reynolds with laying the groundwork for Art School Sluts' success, as well as that of the three Kill Girl Kill movies and this year's Neu Wave Hookers. "He's the reason I'm here," stated McKai. "Here," McKai meant, meaning both successful as a porn entity but also at a company other than VCA. In many ways Reynolds, who sold what would become known as AltPorn in non-traditional ways, like hyping products at the South-by-Southwest music and media conference, in alternative magazines like Vice, and by sponsoring parties at hipster bowling alleys, gave porn directors like McKai ideas that they deserved better. "When things really started taking off, Vivid offered me a very good deal that it took VCA six months to match," said McKai. Art director Alaska! is one of the most innovative boxcover designers in porn, engineering the first impressions of the 40 percent of consumers who buy adult material in DVD form.  "Peter is the most progressive salesman I've met in the XXX industry," he said. "While numerous people have told me my design work wouldn't sell, Peter has consistently proven everyone dead wrong. It seems that the majority of XXX companies are content in settling formarketing to the same ol' crowd, whereas Peter was always tapping into mainstream/youth culture outlets for promotion and sales." "Selling AltPorn was a battle," Reynolds said, "and the industry could be kind of conservative, so it was a pleasure to see it catching on." Reynolds worked at Leisure Time Digital and Vivid before VCA. On Monday, a source within Hustler told me, Flynt "came in and decided to cut some of the big salaries." Reynolds was gone as of yesterday. With the departure of McKai and Reynolds, there are a few Alt or Alt-esque titles still in VCA's release schedule, including Profane's Barbed Wire Kiss on May 30. VCA also has its ethnic-themed Excessive imprint, but it seems that aside from Alt titles there is nothing which defines VCA's output as separate from that of Hustler. Vivid-Alt, which has yet to release a movie, seems to be the growth industry of the Alt genre. It is hard to imagine Alt surviving at VCA without Reynolds championing it. Hustler sales director David Diamond said no decision had been made if or when Reynolds would be replaced. Reynolds, who can be contacted here, is considering taking a few weeks off for a road trip with his wife of 25 years, Ellen. Previously: Barbed Wire Kiss; The porn movie formerly known as Alpha 15; Vivid-steve launched; VCA fires pre-emptive volley as McKai leaves; Neu Wave Hookers review; Atomic Vixens review; Joe Gallant: "The machinery is weird." See also: VCA, Hustler, Vivid-alt ¶ Wednesday, May 10, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Kara Monaco is down with PMotY
 At the Mansion the other day (I was out getting some lox), Hef announced that Kara "three hoops" Monaco was the 2006 Playmate of the Year."Now the healing can begin," the Playboy founder did not say. Monaco, it is interesting to learn, is the first June centerfold in Playboy's half century to be awarded the PMotY title. Monaco's past employment includes a stint at the Magic Kingdom, at which she played Snow White, Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland, and the Little Mermaid. Personally, I can't believe Disney got away with the Little Mermaid's outfit; it was scandalous. Monaco will embark on a nationwide tour to exhibit her pmotyaneity, and her PMotY DVD will be released on June 20. Previously: Catalina redux See also: Playboy ¶ Tuesday, May 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
It was you all along, Britney
 Judging from the press releases, Britney Rears 2 is the best sequel since The Godfather Part II.Previously: BRII review See also: Hustler, Britney Rears ¶ Tuesday, May 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Carmen Luvana with a gun - just because
 The "Just Because" series of text-deficient Porn Valley Observed posts is taking America and her enemies by storm.Today feast your eyes on Carmen Luvana in a completely improvised candid shot from Dan'l Dakota's Jane Blond: DD7. Previously: Ashley Brooks, Taylor Nix, Kami Andrews See also: Adam & Eve ¶ Tuesday, May 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Seymore Butts' thought-provoking Party Bus
 For $99 you and your posse can board a tricked out airport shuttle in downtown L.A. and drive around the city for two hours while strippers fall all over you by accident. This is what rapper Lo Diggs did, and he invited the strippers, including Amber Peach, Mya Mason, Mone' Divine, and Celestia, to be his backup dancers. Let's look at the picture. First off, the concert was not held on the bus. It was held at a club called Good Hurt. Of the seven people pictured in the audience, three are holding cameras, not to mention the person taking the picture of the backs of their heads. If those people are representative of the audience, then half of the audience wasn't as much watching the show as photographing it. This would not have happened at a Tull show in 1968. On stage the three backup dancers were in a precarious position. Wedged together on a stage that otherwise had room for them to roam freely, each looks disoriented and claustrophobic. Lo Diggs himself seems to be addressing this. "Can any of us be truly free when there are dancers who can't move?" he might be asking. Flanking Diggs are two men who don't appear to be helping him. On his left, in the red shirt, is a man clearly plotting Diggs' downfall. "I can do better than that," he is saying. "Lo is so musclebound that he can't turn his neck to look at the whole audience. I would look at the whole audience. Would that Fate intervene to let me show my skillz!" Despite his complaining, the conspirator is not using any choralography or the most basic jazz hands to engage the sides of the audience Diggs is neglecting. On Diggs' right is a man wearing a Halloween costume I put together at the last minute for a party in 1999. I don't know where he got it, but he is looking directly at me, saying, "I've got your Halloween costume, Grams. What are you going to do about it?" Possibly the most poignant part of the tableau is the empty hat and shirt draped over a microphone stand on stage left. Like John F. Kennedy's riderless horse in his funeral procession, the unused hat and shirt represent a fallen homie. That fallen homie is named Affordable Healthcare. So as you can see, there is a lot more going on with a Seymore Butts Party Bus than just strippers. Previously: This house is a party bus; Why Ashley Blue might be cool See also: Party Bus ¶ Tuesday, May 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, May 08, 2006
Catalina redux
 I topped off Friday with a trip to Playboy's Night Calls. In my 200-mile trek back and forth to places around Porn Valley (only Lexington Steele's place was actually in the Valley) I ate at McDonald's not once but twice. I hate myself (but not enough to appear in a pegging video).Having won SugarDVD's second Night Calls contest, an enbooted women from (Michigan) named Catalina disrobed for co-hosts Jesse Jane and Kirsten Price. Like shows taped live on the other side of the hill, Night Calls, which is on the same lot as Spanish-language SiTV, employs a comedian to warm up the audience. This particular comedian, named Chris Pleasant, has a tougher job than his Hollywood counterparts. First, he has to entertain two sets of people. The onstage audience, which appears on the show when the camera pans around and from whom volunteers are sometimes scooped, and the studio audience, where people like me sit. Both audiences are on the same floor level so Pleasant moved back and forth between us. Elsewhere, there is only one audience on a set of risers. It is much easier that way because there are fewer places for the audience to divert its attention.  Second, though Jane and Price are often very funny, Pleasant was warming up an audience that did not come for comedy.Pleasant had to move between the two sets of people and often told the same jokes twice. This was bad because he was always within earshot of both groups. When he would return to one set of us, we now recognized his banter as being rehearsed. Pressed to make us respond, he would comment on how we weren't responding. That is always really effective. Then he said that we weren't interacting because we were (mostly) white and we were scared that he would rob us, you know, because he was black. Somebody behind me said, "I'm sorry we're so white and you're so not funny." But he was funny; he was just stuck in a bad situation. Night Calls is kind of a wild show. I'm amazed at what goes on there for the benefit of the live and televised audiences. A man from the onstage audience was de-pantsed and ushered to the stage at the end of the show, where he was ground upon by several strippers, Jane, and Price. At that point the studio audience was ushered out. In addition, we got snacks. How we white people love our free snacks!  Catalina from (Michigan) is not the same Catalina that was a Max Hardcore staple for a few years, pictured here with Kami Andrews.Previously: Suddenly suplexing Seka See also: Playboy, SugarDVD ¶ Monday, May 08, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
The Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament
 As you well know, an excellent way to get money out of someone is to sit on his lap. That was Vince Neil's idea when he began planning a golf tournament in his late daughter's name to raise money for cancer research."Golf was a good way to get people together," he said, "especially when people are drinking." Friday was the tenth anniversary of the Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament. In 1996, two years after his daughter passed away, Neil corralled founding sponsors Playboy and Hawaiian Tropics to kick off the first event. Since then, the charity has raised a million dollars with spontaneous lap-based donations ("I think it was Tiffany Granath who got $10,000 out of a guy," Neil said) as well as auction bids for items such as Motley Crue-signed guitars and rock memorabilia. Each of the 18 holes at Friday's tournament was sponsored by a particular company, such as Jagermeister, Wicked Pictures, or Rockstar Beverages. At Wicked's hole 10, jessica drake and Carmen Hart posed for pictures with visiting businessmen.  "My skirt keeps blowing up," said drake."That's all right," said Jimmy, scion of a Greek restaurant family from Hyde Park, MA. I asked Neil if his style of philanthropy ever raised the hackles of "proper" charities. "This is the crew I run with," he said, "and a lot of these guys happen to be well off. Having the girls out here is a really good way to get money out of them." Not messsing with a good thing, Neil will host a stripper-heavy poker tournament in Las Vegas in the Fall. The money is being disbursed via the T.J. Martell Foundation, which will spread the funds around to "edgier" cancer research. "While they are a leading philanthropic organization in the music industry," a person close to the foundation said, "they tend to not play up the porn angle."  I finally got Tiana Lynn to tell me why she was no longer performing."Why, Tiana. Why?" I probed. "Because sales gets me off more than performing," she said, groping Lexi Love. "I don't want a sales customer calling me on set while I'm squirting." I bet it's because she has a boyfriend, but she was too considerate to tell me. I talked with a couple of music industry publicists on the links, as we duffers say. "The music industry is brutal," one said. "Porn is so much nicer." I thought about this for a while, and decided to shut up. "I don't know how many times I got thrown in front of a bus in the music industry," the other said. The day was hot and golf carts were limited. I spent a lot of time in the clubhhouse. Aside from weddings and winter sledding back in Banff, I'd never set foot on a golf course.  The Jagermeister swag tee was somewhere over the ridge, inaccessible. I longed to be there. There was also a cigar tee. It would have defeated the purpose to walk to the hole where the cigars were.I headed out. I saw Rita Faltoyano and Sunny Lane. Sunny Lane is very pale. I advised her to wear sunscreen. The idea was to beat cancer. Previously: My Good (porn) Friday; Untitled Briana Banks project; Tiana Lynn's easy challenge See also: Skylar Neil Memorial Fund; Wicked Pictures ; TJ Martell Foundation ¶ Monday, May 08, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
At home with Lexington Steele
 The tricked-out black Hummer in the driveway is never a dead giveaway in Woodland Hills, but the personalized plate - LXXXNGTON - was a little more on the nose."I drop thousands of dollars a month on location fees," Mercenary Pictures owner Lexington Steele said. "So having your own place to shoot is much more cost effective." I'd walked in the place with my attorney, Wayne Hentai, and raconteur Tod-Hunter. The massive TV was in the center of the room, and we headed toward it by its southern approach, camping on a couple of couches in front of it. We became dismayed and uncomfortable immediately, as there was a Fresh Out the Box screening. We were forced to look at each other, and I wondered when we'd begin nervously high-fiving and calling each other "Bro". The occasion was the filming of a scene from Black Moon Risin' 3. Director Tina Tyler was off at the pool with 19-year-old Jezabelle Sweets, awaiting the arrival of Brian Pumper and Jean-Claude Baptiste. Earlier, Tyler had asked the Haiti-born, Miami-bred Sweets the craziest thing she'd ever done sexually. "Fucking in a theatre with no drawers on," she'd said immediately. Steele appears in most of the productions his company films stateside (he also has directors in Europe and Brazil contributing content), but Tyler said that he would appear in more scenes than usual in Black Moon Risin' 3. "Would you say that viewers will get a little Lextra?" she was asked. "Yes..." she said wearily, probably regretting the press invitations. Tyler chatted amiably with Hunter about worldly things while I played tag with the other kids.  Steele sat down and pointed out the house's amenities. Three scenes had already been shot on the property since Lex and fiancee/performer/director Vaness Blue moved in a week ago."We've got the outside with some limited sightlines from the neighborhood, the pool, the pool table," he said. "Somebody up the street had a wood chipper going the other day, so we just moved the scene inside." Steele mentioned that, in addition to Tyler, himself, and Vanessa Blue, Mercenary would be adding a director for its gay line. He mentioned a name that rhymed with that of another porn director who would probably not be right for the job. Thinking it was this other guy for several minutes, I imagined what this person's directorial vision for gay content might be, and how he would involve midgets. Luckily I'd misheard. Jezabelle Sweets has been in Los Angeles one month. She has forgotten how many scenes she has done in that time.  "How long have you been working?" I asked."In my life?" "No," I replied. "In Los Angeles." "A month." "You arrived and began working immediately?" "Yes." "That's professionalism," I said. "I guess," she said. For Sweets' video interview, Tyler had her leafing through a recent AVN. AVN is a trade magazine for the adult industry that holds a yearly awards show. Sweets was looking at an ad for White Bubblebutt Sluts. Back at the pool, the male talent had arrived and were servicing Sweets in a deck chair. On this hot Cinco de Mayo, little thought was paid to Ignacio Zaragoza's victory over the forces of Napoleon III in 1862. Instead, Tyler instructed Sweets to let her breasts hang out of her lame' lounging outfit more. "Las armas nacionales se han cubierto de gloria," no one said. Black Moon Risin' 3 will debut this summer. Previously: Tina Tyler refuses to stop being hot (1 and 2); The face of Lex is missing; Camera Porn See also: Lexington Steele, Tina Tyler ¶ Monday, May 08, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Go Go Gojira, Dakota
 As you know, I like to view porn through the filter of Godzilla (or, in the case of Internet porn, MechaGodzilla).Director Daniel Dakota, in addition to filming Carmen Luvana in a James Bond porn spoof called Jane Blond: DD7 as well as Mikayla's first boy/girl scene in Land of the Amazons (in which she and others cavort with the likes of Amazon bodybuilder Yvette Bova in the Santa Susanna Hills) also collects Godzilla memorabilia, and reflected on how the Bane of Tokyo relates to adult films. "Like Godzilla," he said, "if you stripped away all the dialogue from a porn movie you'd still have the reason everybody came to see the movie in the first place." So why bother with dialogue in porn films? "That's why you watch Godzilla repeatedly." Dakota, it should be noted, dislikes the word Porn ("it sounds like such a severe word to me. 'Adult' sounds so much classier.'") Dakota grew up in the Bay Area and developed an appreciation for Kiss, model-making, and stop-motion pioneer Ray Harryhausen. A stop-motion Kiss movie would be the greatest film ever made. "I had the chance to meet Ray Harryhausen and I asked him if digital effects would be the end of what he did (Harryhausen created the arresting effects of Clash of the Titans and The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, among others, posing and photographing models one frame at a time). I expected him to be a little angry. But I have such a high regard for the things he did, and he said, 'like everything I did with stop-motion, digital effects are a tool. They're not the answer to everything.'" Dakota enrolled in Damon Charles' Institute of Studio makeup in the late eighties. "They taught us makeup, but they made sure we had exposure to everything else." It was at the North Hollywood school (now closed) that Dakota began making contacts in the film industry. "And I found out that on a film set it isn't really the makeup guy's prerogative to offer his opinion on how shots are framed." Dakota began diversifying his resume by digitally touching up set photographs. "In 1993, I had a Quadra 950 with 64 megabytes of RAM," he said. "I was the coolest kid. Still, I would wait 20 minutes for a picture to rotate." Fast forward several years and Dakota had a successful design business within the adult industry (which he keeps separate from his directing gigs). Easing into directing, he worked on gonzos like School of Hard Knockers for Avalon and Stocking Secrets for Smash before helming his first feature, last year's The Contractor for Adam & Eve. "With Adam & Eve you have to walk a fine line between something that sounds dirty and something that sounds more positive. I'm shooting Make Love to My Ass: An Anal Love Story for them." GP: That will be the crossover hit of the year. "I want all of my clients to be 100 percent satisfied," he said. "I don't know anyone else who says, 'I guaranteee you'll be happy.'"  Dakota doesn't have the aggressive bearing of a lot of porn directors. Walking onto a porn set, one might have a tough time picking him out as the director, and instead wonder "Why is Tom Scholz from Boston here?""We have a lot of fun on my sets," he said. "We have so much fun that sometimes the male talent asks us to stop goofing around because their Viagra is wearing off." Dakota, like Ron Royster, seems partial to the porn stars who don't exude evil and menace. "Great bodies are a given," he said, "but if she's sweet, too, she's a hundred times more attractive to me." Porn girls are one thing, but porn girl hangers-on are another. "I can't tell you how many pierced, hat-on-backwards, goateed boyfriends there are out there," he said. "Do they all come from the same factory? Some are very respectful and stay out of the way, but others sit just beyond the camera and suck off the craft services or walk around the set talking on their cell phones. To these guys I say, 'You can wait outside.'" GP: Do you ever have problems saying that? "No, because I never say it like that." Dakota (like Tom Scholz) is naturally inclined to do all the jobs on his movies himself, but has instead put together a small, trusted team.  "Having a crew of familiar faces is really a great thing," he said. "I don't know what I'd do without them. It has taken me a while, though, to just delegate and let people do their job."Like that of Haruo Nakajima, the actor who wore the Godzilla suit in 12 movies ("the head is attached to the top of the suit," Dakota pointed out, "and the actor would look through a narrow slit in the neck"), the life of a porn director is sometimes too focused. That is why Dakota hasn't dropped the threads of the various jobs he's had. He pointed to a large prop bug perched on a box in his office. "I found that at a store the other day," he said. "But something wasn't right. I want to use it for Land of the Amazons. So I stayed up all night painting it." Previously: The C0ntractor review See also: Adam & Eve, Godzilla (filmforum.org), Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" lyrics (lyricsfreak.com) ¶ Sunday, May 07, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, May 04, 2006
When a vagina isn't sexy
 You will be pleased to know that even in the hotbed of tolerance and liberalism that is Porn Valley that even the most jaded and sybaritic professionals (such as myself) immediately deturgidify at certain types of content."I don't like women eating men's asses," said Donkey Punch auteur Grip Johnson. For me all manner of gaping is useless, as is any swapping of fluids from a distance of more than an inch (like when you sing me to sleep after the blowjob, you turn and dangle that which I've created just for you into the mouth of another). Furthermore any conveyance by artificial means (such as a spoon or brandy snifter) of anything that has passed out of one person and transferred into another leaves me cold. "I don't like vomiting or choking. That stuff is gross. Or a bunch of guys getting a blow job from a girl whose eyes are watering," said Digital Playground's Anal Load Lee. Others, as it is plain to observe, like that stuff, but are themselves grossed out by something that I love: women with hips. "Playgirl videos turn me off," said Joanna Angel. "They're really soft." When I saw the image linked here for Leisure Time Video's Meaty Pussies I almost thought of becoming a vegetarian. At least zoom out a little so we know it's a girl there rather than a drowning victim. It might be surprising to know that even Max Hardcore, whose grocery list is considered obscene in several states, is himself repulsed by something. "About the only thing that grosses me out is shit," said Hardcore. "Don't like it, never will." All part of the wonderful pastiche that is your adult industry. Previously: Amateur Night; Hustler, scat, and the Marshall Plan; Joanna Angel's Invent-a-Lunch; Swallow the yellow thick load See also: MaximumXposure ¶ Thursday, May 04, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tough time for Arizona prostitutes
 As you know, there is no need for the state of Arizona. Jenna Jameson and Kinzie Kenner should move, in alphabetical order, to New Mexico, which does "Southwest" better, and the 10 and the cities around it should be converted into a nice flume ride.That said, it should be no surprise that prostitutes are having a difficult go of it in the Grand Canyon (overrated) state. According to HB 2307, now on Governor Janet Napolitano's desk, prostitutes will face mandatory jail time for plying their trade, doubling with each additional offense. Opponents of the bill claim that the law would do nothing to decrease prostitution but instead will exacerbate the conditions that cause it. Removing single mothers from their children for an overtaxed prison system and an environment that offers no opportunity to learn a new trade doesn't solve anything, they say. Proponents say that if people wanted relief from misery, they wouldn't have moved to Arizona in the first place. When you contact Gov. Napolitano's office (phone: 602.542.4331, fax: 602.542.1381), don't mention my flume idea because it would cloud the issue. Previously: Fleiss to open brothel for women; The losers you knew in high school get jobs See also: Apache Junction Chamber of Commerce ¶ Thursday, May 04, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Derby Day for Memphis Monroe
 In another part of the country I am known as Colonel Gram Ponante. That is why I was interested in hearing what Louisville's own Memphis (Memphis?) Monroe was doing for the Run for the Roses on Saturday."I'll probably find some sports bar in Vegas," she said. We were surrounded by horses on the ranch of Barely Legal's Gail Harris, where Monroe was shooting Backwoods of Memphis. Monroe now lives in Henderson, Nevada, because her Hustler contract allows her the first real free time she's had since joining the business. "I used to work six or seven days a week," she said, "but now I can watch TV." I pressed her about the Kentucky Derby. I've seen plenty of porn starlets rub semen into their breasts, as had Monroe (not to greet me, but earlier), but I wanted to talk about Monroe's favorite julep recipe. "I don't drink juleps," she said. "They're too sweet." "But you've been to the Derby?" I asked. "Twice," she said. "I used to say, 'Oh, look what they're doing to those poor horses!' but now I'm a gambling addict." "Awesome. I think I'm an alcoholic." "The first Derby I went to was the one where they had that monsoon. I was in my pretty dress and hat, and there were these people just swimming in the mud. There were waves and waves of mud just landing on top of me." "Do you ride horses?" "I rode one once." "But do you cry when they play 'My Old Kentucky Home'?" "No." Monroe (no relation to Missy Monroe, though one could be the other's evil gonzo sister) has been joined by Mya Luanna in Hustler's revolving door of contract girls. Luanna replaces Joey Hart, who arrived following Jessica Jaymes' departure. I asked Suzanne, Hustler's Talent Relations Manager ("I'm not the 'Talent Wrangler', she corrected, but I'd meant no offense) what the particulars of the Hustler Contract Girl contract were. I just thought I'd ask. "Memphis has to do 24 scenes a year, and we take her to various promotional assignments," she said. "At the NCTA (National Cable & Television Association) show in Atlanta, Mya came out in a full kimono. She's very into her Thai heritage." "So am I."  It was a hot day in the northeast Valley, the kind where things spontaneously burst into flame. I felt sorry for Jasmine Byrne, who was posing on a couple of bales of hay in the back of a pickup truck. She was wearing nothing, eventually, but high-heeled Timberlands."Do you have any sunscreen?" I asked. "No," she said. "Not for you - for me," I replied. This conversation was going nowhere. Director Caesar Bonobo had Byrne and her scene partner go through several poses. Backwoods of Memphis, Suzanne said, involved "having sex in the country." Byrne's character kidnaps a backpacker using a gun-shaped dildo. She pointed the dildo at her partner's head when she wasn't licking the end of it. I think licking the end of it will allow the movie to pass compliance. My white linen suit was feeling heavy, so I sat back on the porch and whittled for awhile. "Whip me up a mess o them biscuits," I commanded a production assistant. "Yes, Colonel," he said. See the gallery here. Previously: Riding the curves with Denis Marti; 110% Natural; Pal Joey and the Zen of Porn; Adult industry spared See also: Kentucky Derby ¶ Wednesday, May 03, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Pipinka Party
 There were two women on the set of Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party: King Klit whom just about everyone hated. We all walked out of the small studio at the end of the shoot and each of us said things like, "What was she doing here?"I've never had a manicure, but I think conversations like that must happen all the time at such places. I wanted to watch the DVD and see if that animus translated on film (because that would be fun to watch). You know what? It sort of does! In addition, everything the world has grown to love about the rest of the cast is in evidence, too. Read the review here. Previously: Day rate plus anal; It needs to stop See also: Cousin Stevie Labels: remmet studio ¶ Tuesday, May 02, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sandee Westgate to not appear in There's a Black Man in My Ass 2
 Sandee Westgate, who was sort of Playboy's evil girl next door, will no longer distribute her titles though MaximumXposure, the creator of such fare as Pakistani Blowbang, Bangladesh Booty, and I Want to Fuck Your Mom in the Ass.Westgate is a girls-only type of person, as am I, and her releases with MaximumXposure seemed out of line with their regular offerings of Semen Eaters and I Fucked Your Mommy. "I feel that it is time for me to move on to a company that suits my style and movies more," Westgate said, adding that she had nothing but great things to say about MaximumXposure, producer of Fatties Love to Fuck, Cheerleader Cream Pie (1 and 2) and Real Life Horse Cocks. In other news, I have decided to no longer accept advertising funds from the John Deere Tractor Company because it was too much of a stretch working tractors into my posts about pegging. Previously: Thrusting in the smoke with Sandee Westgate; Squeeze the Brahmin; Sophie Dee caught unawares See also: Sandee Westgate ¶ Tuesday, May 02, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Nasty Redhead Sluts, others
 Simon Wolf offers this title via Cold War-era pneumatic tube system from his underground bunker."My sending this to you is no guarantee that I exist," the reclusive billionaire did not say. Nasty Redhead Sluts stars Dani, Mandy Starr, Cherry Poppens, Kimi Lixx, Monica Mayhem, Emily Devinci, and Jackie Moore. Always hedging his bets, the wily Wolf craftily added non-redheads to the mix. The cover m0del is Dani, demonstrating the international sign language for "I'm not wearing underpants". Previously: A little Vixen; The porn movie formerly known as Alpha 15... See also: Pleasure Productions ¶ Tuesday, May 02, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, May 01, 2006
Swallow the yellow thick load
 Deeper is just like the Wizard of Oz, except instead of dropping a house on a witch and her toes curling up, a comforter is dropped on Sativa Rose and someone jerks off on her butt.There's no place like home, or my reviews section. Previously: Sativa Rose in Jack's Playground 13; You're not the boss of me See also: Digital Playground ¶ Monday, May 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The sun only shines on Violet Blue
 I don't dispute that Brooke's Bitches is a dirty romp down the darker avenues of porn's version of lesbianism (one that doesn't involve softball leagues, a predilection for disability pay, and cropped gray hairdos). In fact, I believe Brooke Hunter when she says, "I subject these girls'pussies to dildos, night sticks and even pool sticks, and they all love it."What I am wondering about is Violet Blue. Why is the sun shining on her alone? Why is she, among all these Bitches, the only one who was allowed outside only to be transported back into a Photoshop Netherworld? Brooke's Bitches also stars Michelle Raven, Jordan Styles, Kandi, and Cherry Lane. Previously: It's that hundred-dollar Bash; The pen is mightier than the pork sword See also: Black Widow Productions ¶ Monday, May 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
A Day without porn immigrants
 Today as America's cities ring with the protest of immigrants and their friends, we look inward to Porn Valley, where numerous immigrants work in front of and behind the camera as well as in the mighty warehouses from which our nation's adult material is shipped.I called up a friend at AVN (this was my version of being a private detective calling a buddy on the force to run a plate): "Did the lunch truck come?" "Yes." I called several companies to find out about the warehouse staff. "Did anyone call out today for the protests?" I asked. Only at one company did someone of immigrant extraction call in sick. "But he was sick last Thursday and Friday, too; he'd had an operation." I thought about the many non-Americans that Americans jerk off to or to whom American men unfavorably compare their spouses. There are women from Mexico, Thailand, Prague, Colombia, Sweden, and even Canada who are undocumented. I know a couple of these who had scenes scheduled to be shot today. "Did X and Y show up to work?" I asked a booking agent. "They're in makeup now," I was told. Is the porn world a fantasyland out of touch with the plight of the everyday Southern California worker (I kind of hope so, considering the pegging phenomenon)? Or is porn the only place immigrants get a fair shake? All I know is this: the Czech word for pussy is pipinka. ¶ Monday, May 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Girls on film
 When photographer Octavio Arizala was playing with the Chilean thrash-metal band Warpath, he never thought he would become Atwater Village's resident pinup photographer. But dreams really do come true in the shadow of the Los Feliz Blvd. Costco.Arizala and Vivid labelmate Dave Naz will join two New York counterparts in signing and shilling their respective girlie books at Melrose Blvd.'s Clair Obscur gallery on May 6. The show is titled East Meets West and the photographers have promised to leave their beefs back in their cribs. "Some of the models will be there," Arizala said. "Just don't creep them out." I won't if you won't! Previously: ReBelle Rousers preview; My Vivid visit See also: Clair Obscur, Winkytiki ¶ Monday, May 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Bing the Merciless
 Bing. Rouge. Break. Cherry.Will I go there? No I will not. Carmella Bing has not danced at the Gentlemen's Club Rouge before, but that will be rectified this week as that improbable collection of parts and services takes the stage from May 4 to 6. Eventually everyone in L.A. will be represented by L.A. Direct Models, and every L.A. Direct Model will dance at Rouge. That is the way things are. You can't change it. If you have not seen Carmella Bing in the flesh you owe it to yourself to do so (unless you're an asshole, and then you should focus on not parking in my space before you start going out to strip clubs). Previously: Carmella Bing in Vegas; Carmella Bing checks herself See also: L.A. Direct Models (photo credit), Rouge ¶ Monday, May 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
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