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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
But do they really have feelings for each other?
 Can anyone tell me when women started making out with each other in bars, you know, as part of a normal evening? I can only remember it happening everywhere I looked no more than five years ago. Prior to that, of course, I wasn't old enough to go to bars... also, are there bars in America where this does not happen? My guess would be Irish bars and cantinas on reservations.Anyway, the idea behind this new Hustler film is that each scene begins with two girls going at it before a man shows up to 2wice as Nice stars Jenna Presley, Lacie Heart, Sierra Sin, Joanna Angel, Angela Stone, Jenaveve Jolie, and Franchezca Valentina. This is the first film with Joanna Angel in it that I haven't received 12,000 e-mails for. I wonder if her career is on the wane? Previously: Farrah forges major mainstream crossover; Taylor Rain goes gentle into that good night See also: Hustler ¶ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post  
Carmen Hart: Today, Missouri
 We were well pleased when we learned that the genteel Carmen Hart, whom we met at a shoot in a warehouse, had won Miss Nude 2006.That the title came from a field of 13 at a strip club in St. Joseph, MO is also no small feat. The thing is that I could not win Miss Nude 2006 anywhere no matter how many times I broke into the database and futzed with the votes. Carmen Hart has a slight southern accent and her unassuming charm put this driver to sleep even before craft services came. That she can so easily toss aside the lemonade-drinking, tobacco rolling, front-porch sitting, whittling ways of her home state, North Carolina, to grind her way to Nude stardom and delight her new handlers at Wicked Pictures is a great accomplishment. Previously: Carmen Hart, Carmen Luvana, and Sunny Lane agree that driving to Gram's house and bringing him some steaks would probably be a good idea. See also: Wicked Pictures, Carmen Hart ¶ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Squirting, shame, and the Dark Knight
 I like the cartoon droplets emerging from Nadia Styles in this picture from Oops! I Gushed Again; I only miss the anvil and the little birds flying around her head, or Robin declaring "Holy false female ejaculation, Batman!"I think it is time for the porn world to take some responsibility for its actions, however. When one watches Cytherea drink gallons of water and then squirt enough to fill a pool full of sex koi, it would be bad form for her to say it was an accident. Why Nadia and Tiana Lynn (in a porn-posthumous scene), among others, try to make us think their squirting was a mistake is an insult to the intelligence that drives us to Del Taco three times a day where we pay with a debit card. These ladies should own their squirting and revel in it the way the unfortunate cameraman does. Previously: Are we our boxcovers, ourselves?; Sophie Dee caught unawares See also: Maximum Xposure ¶ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Yet more awards - update
 Another awards show has been bestowed on a grateful, clamoring public.The FAME (Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment, because God knows the media aren't entertaining, right?) awards will be launched this June 24 at the Erotica L.A. convention. I'm hoping the FAME awards can inspire a new convention of their own, and then there can be a convention of awards-granting organizations, and then awards can be granted to the best convention. Sponsors of the event include Adam & Eve, Genesis Magazine, and AVN. While AVN's own awards were never represented as fan-based, I don't understand why the company would want to draw a distinction between its editors, who decide on the January AVN awards, and porn consumers. Any difference in who gets an award emphasizes AVN being out of touch with the porn-buying public. Because we race cars together, I asked AVN president Paul Fishbein about overlap and how these awards would offer something new. "The categories will be for the most part different," he said. "It's more of a fan mentality. So we will have categories like Best Tits and Best Ass, Hottest This or Hottest That." "Adam & Eve is sponsoring these awards in order to give the fans of adult movies and entertainment a real voice to tell the industry what they like best," said A&E vice president Bob Christian. "Other awards use industry insiders to determine winners — F.A.M.E. listens to the real consumers and users of the products." "You got big dreams? You want FAME?" Debbie Allen asked. "Well, FAME costs. And right here is where you start paying--in sweat." You, the porn-buying public, can nominate films on FAME's website until the Ides of March. Previously: Awards-minting scheme; AVN wrap-up See also: The FAME Awards; Adam & Eve ¶ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Stripper notes: a little Love in your Heart
 Some of my best friends are strippers and will often gather at Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary to have pillow fights, replenish their oils at my melon body spray fountain, get re-glittered with my patented industrial speckle hose, and debate the merits of giving lap dances to the music of They Might Be Giants.Both Shy Love, to whom I suggested "Lose the Steve Tyler hat", and Lacie Heart, whom I taught Latin, will be dancing in the area soon. Love will employ (American) hot wax and dominance techniques to present an "interactive" show at Van Nuys' Spearmint Rhino from March 9-11. "I love meeting my fans," Love did not say. "They really turn me on." New Vivid girl and Atomic Vixen Lacie Heart will be at Van Nuys' Rouge from March 2 through 4. "I love meeting my fans," Heart did not say. "They really turn me on." With the recent spate of feature dance appearances for L.A. Direct Models at Rouge, the company has become the official feature booker of the club. This must come as a terrible blow to Showgirl Media. I predict a clash of the titans. Previously: Hallo, Space Vixen; Strippers go to Hell See also: L.A. Direct Models, Spearmint Rhino, Rouge, Buy your own stripper pole ¶ Tuesday, February 28, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, February 27, 2006
The low-down Dirty Movie
 It's kind of important that if your movie is set in a bygone era, you try to approximate that era in your film.If the adult industry were just about hot adults having sex, then the industry would be called Hot Adults Having Sex (in the same no-nonsense way Turkey has re-titled Brokeback Mountain "Faggot Cowboys"). And I'm not fooling myself that the story or the dialogue is all that important, but if someone's going to take the risk and write a story, they'd better be prepared to not leave holes in it. Read a review of VCA's Dirty Movie here. Previously: City of Ass Fukt See also: VCA ¶ Monday, February 27, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Jesse Jane: Spare the paddle
 Digital Playground's Jesse Jane: All American Girl has JJ involved in traditional Chinese sports like paddleball and fellatio. Director Celeste eschews dialogue for Playboy-style music/video sequences that don't require subtitles.We even hear an original power ballad from DP editor Joey "Inches" Pulgadas. See the review here. Previously: Jesse Jane loves it when a plan comes together; Jesse Jane: inappropriate See also: Digital Playground ¶ Monday, February 27, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Carnaval en Ensenada: limited debauchery, extended tacos
 Even when I, Gram Ponante, am at leisure, I am working hard for you.This weekend I attended Carnaval in Ensenada with my attorney, Duke Santos, and two juero associates, Karl Kash and Jose Fellatiano. There are several things it is important I not print, but the quote of the weekend was: "My beer goggles don't go up to Pacoima." Two cruise boats were docked in the harbor and dwarfed the town for several hours each day, disgorging thousands of Americans with fake boobs and dyed blonde hair (the ladies) and goatees and self-conscious "I should get a tattoo - what should I get?" tattoos (the fellas) who proceeded to go to exactly one bar, Papas & Beer, and transform it into Orange County South. I promise I was not in business mode, but I had a card with me, so I flashed it and entered a wet t-shirt contest staging area. All the cruise ship ladies were, without any encouragement save a whiff of dollar beers and some Koreans with camera phones, nearly naked. The wet t-shirt contest never happened; they all just stood up on a table and tore into each other. One of the women manages AAA's car insurance programs for a chapter in Southern California. "I become a different person when I cross the border," she breathed. "A drunk, sweaty person with makeup on your nipples," I said, wiping Dos Equis condensation off my crystal spectacles.  If you are a man in your fifties with a whistle and would like to feel women up, you have a job waiting for you at this place.I saw few Americans anywhere else, aside from two drunk 40-ish blondes from Oxnard at a more traditional bar across the street. "I bet you're from Oxnard," I said to one as she fell off her chair. "How did you know I was from Oxnard?" she asked. "You remind me a of a field of ripe raisins," I said. I was drunk. "She thinks you're a wizard," her friend said. I was happy to get away from the gringo tourists only because I can see this behavior on any weekend here at home. Speaking bad Spanish to taco vendors and bartenders was a lot more fun for me. A Mexican crack whore accosted me on the street. "I want to see it," she kept saying. "I don't want to show it to you," I kept trying to say. I asked my lawyer the Spanish word for Crack Whore. "Puta," he said. "Just 'puta'?" I asked. "It's the way you say it," he said. (You have to say it the way people from New Jersey say "hoo-er".) So that I could justify a write-off I walked into the adult store "Fantasias Intimatas" (the sign read in Spanish that no students in uniforms were allowed, probably for fear that customers would think the boxcover talent was making an appearance). There were two rooms full of dusty toys from extinct novelty companies and a lot of VHS tapes from Legend and the like, all priced at about 30 bucks. "Tienes DVDs?" I asked. "Oh, si," the cashier replied, and took out exactly nine DVDs, all compilations. As Ensenada is a tourist town, there were a lot of Oaxacan vendors with children and gum in tow. It was explained to me that the indigenous beggars are made to look more pathetic, are assigned children to lug around, and are provided with hammocks, beads, and gum to sell. Signs posted around the tourist areas said not to buy things from them, that the people were imported by businessmen and that feeding the business continues the abuse. That these signs were in windows of stores that sold similar tourist crap was confusing.  In any case, I got an idea: Oaxookers. Smaller than regular hookers, Oaxookers would provide the spinner experience even for much shorter men. We could make t-shirts reading "See the underside of NAFTA".I ate: nine tacos, six empanadas, three hot dogs wrapped in bacon. I drank: 21 margaritas. I heard "Quieres sexo?": four times. On the road through Tijuana, I saw a sign for a different House of "Pies". Everything is better down there. ¶ Monday, February 27, 2006 2 Comments Links to this post
Friday, February 24, 2006
The tannens in Miss Samson
 Savanna Samson has been described as having great legs and isn't too fruity. Just one swirl will reveal her opulence. While not as full-bodied as I like them, Samson is definitely not the dregs, and her bouquet is mesmerizing and transcendent.Vivid is increasing their odd product affiliations that now include rims and cosmetics with a Samson-endorsed wine. The company would have you believe that Ms. Samson became a vintner last year in collaboration with Italian wine maker Roberto Cipresso. "Ms. Samson and Mr. Cipresso will introduce 'Vintage Sogno Uno 2004', the first Savanna Wine, at a Venetian carnivale themed party filled with food, wine and mystery," say Samson's representatives, not adding that the mystery involves a cork one must suck off. The event goes down Monday at New York's La Masseria Restaurant on 48th Street between 8th and Broadway. Our east coast friends say that, unlike rims and cosmetics, Vivid wine might actually reflect the endorser's personality. "The difference is that Savanna has passion for wine," our associate said. A review in Decanter indicates that the wine is the real thing, as is Cipresso. It is a "blend of 70% Cesanese, 20% Sangiovese and 10% Montepulciano," the review notes, adding that Samson knows her stuff, in addition to her yellow Ferraris. "If it made the wine list at Daniel," said Mallcom's Steve Javors, who drinks like a fish, "it's got to be good." Previously: The Devil went down to Jenna; Vivid-steve launched See also: Vivid; Zachy's; Porn star releases quality wine ¶ Friday, February 24, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The Road to Ensenada
 Today your narrator will travel south to attend Carnaval in Ensenada, which is known for a tenth of the debauchery but none of the trannies of Carnaval in Rio.So often we in Porn Valley forget that adult entertainment exists in places other than here. That is why I look forward to visiting the Long Beach Porn Aquarium, the Yorba Linda Cum-Swapping Depository, the Fisting Gardens of San Diego, Tijuana's Galleria de Penetrado Doble, Las Chochas de Rosarita, and of course to eating some fish tacos on my trip. Pity I will not be in Tawny's Navigator. Previously: Have you ever been in a Mexican jail? ¶ Friday, February 24, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Joanna Angel eats grilled cheese, tomato
 Joanna Angel is a study in contrasts. Is she an Orthodox Jew, or is she a new-age Kabbalist? If she is a New Yorker, why does she spend so much time in L.A.? Why does she wear a pink bikini with a green microskirt?At her Hustler Hollywood appearance tonight, she was spot-lit and at the center of a packed room. "She looks like an angel," wept erstwhile labelmate Eon McKai. "She is selling the (steveporn) lifestyle one unit at a time." Angel was signing copies of Neu Wave Hookers as well as Joanna's Angels. The latter's sequel comes out early morning, April 4. As you well know, I have always been concerned about the effect Joanna's bicoastal nature has had on her healthy eating habits. At the Rainbow Room following the signing (we were whisked away in a limo) she ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with a tomato and a Diet Coke. Speaking of erstwhile, Jack the Zipper was there to lend trendy, edgy, east coast-y support. You know the only thing these people actually have in common? Alaska. Angel was amazed at how many fans were there. I asked what effect my web site had had on her success and sexual ripeness. "You have always been good at making sure my fame didn't get in the way of my eating habits," she said. GramPonante.com cub reporter and Vivid taskmaster Eon McKai helped a great deal with this report. Previously: Angel dislikes broccoli; Porn star diets See also: VCA, Burning Angel ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Tawny Roberts' Ride (Pimp not included)
 Tawny Roberts (or someone who wants you to believe she's Tawny Roberts) proved the Internet works by selling her Lincoln Navigator on ebay.For the one $28k bidder, the winner got the title AND a dinner at a location of the bidder's choice, including Roberts' house, which was not for sale. The auction went up on February 17 and closed yesterday. The message was clear: the winner did not buy an ordinary car - "dinoucia" bought one in which famous asses have sat. "This vehicle has only been owned by Tawny Roberts and has accompanied her to the AVN Awards show and driven everyone around including Briana Banks, Devon, Lexie Marie and Jessica Jaymes," the ad reads. Forget about the "4 wheel drive, Touch Screen DVD Navigation, DVD Entertainment, Rear monitor in rear view mirror, Heated/Cooling Seats, Automatic fold down third row, Leather seats, Cruise Control, 6 Disc in dash CD changer." How much would it have cost to just have Tawny be my chauffeur? The Kelly Blue Book rate for a private party sale of this vehicle is $25,595, so here's hoping that Roberts cooked a $2,400 dinner. In any case, I haven't been this excited since I drove Missy Monroe's Mustang to get beer. Thanks to Dependable Skeleton for the link. Previously: No, I'm not selling my porn empire on ebay See also: Tawny's Navigator ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 5 Comments Links to this post
The face of Lex is missing
 I think I might be going to Hell.When I was growing up in the Holy Roman Empire, the nuns would often show us kids optical illusions with either Jesus the Guy or Jesus the Product-Moving Name hidden within. The students who couldn't spot the Messiah were looked at askance and ominously. I was surprised, then, to not see Lexington Steele's be-mirrorshaded face staring off of the boxcover of Fresh Out the Box 3, the latest release from Mercenary's newbie line, directed by Tina Tyler. Usually Lex can be seen in most Mercenary titles, gazing Sphinx-like at the consumer or at the boxcover model. Not this time. To keep the nation from despairing, I have restored the face of Lex to this title, which also features Nikki Hilton, Tanya, Janet Nasty, Gianna, Bambi Brown, and Devon Lee. Previously: What is Lex thinking?; The re-imagining of Lexington Steele; "VHS is a joke"; The web is a cruel mistress; Camera Porn, Tina Tyler refuses to stop being hot II See also: Mercenary Pictures ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Report: Jewelry-biting on rise in bitch population
 Colossal Entertainment has released Bitches in Heat 3, starring once-again brown-haired Missy Monroe, Julie Night, Angela Stone, Tiffany Taylor, and Sasha.A quick survey of the bitch pens here at Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary returned the news that jewelry including claddagh rings, strings of pearls, and even cubic zirconia were indeed on the menu for today's bitch. Remember: how you choose to use this information reflects on society. Previously: The good, the bad, and the bossy; Salad and Lutherans; Day rate plus anal See also: Colossal Entertainment ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
2 Live Crew's Luke quits music
 Articles like this appear, and people like me reprint them. I feel compelled to do it, even as something inside - perhaps a voice that I am trying to kill with Jagermeister and runaways - tells me to stop, Daddy, stop.Note to self: kill little voice. Luther "Uncle Luke" Campbell, he of 2 Live Crew fame, is angry that his genius has gone unrecognized in the music industry so he is lashing out by joining porn full time. Campbell told AllHipHop (an excellent site, by the way, full of surprising nutrients) that his latest audiobook, "My Life And Freaky Times", would be his last musical endeavor and that he would soon launch an adult magazine and film company, as yet unnamed by his handlers. As the official spokesman of the adult industry, I say Welcome, Luke. To keep the community balanced, however, I am going to have to add someone else who isn't joining the industry due to bitterness against another one. Previously: That dick stays in the picture; Kurupt makes entertainment industry look tawdry; A man called Necro See also: Luke says he is retiring from rap ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sativa Rose in Jack's Teen America 13
 Like you, I am a fan of that Sativa Rose, so even the triskadekaphobic among you should check out the trailer for the 13th installment of Jack's Teen America.JTA13, as we call it in the pharmaceutical industry, also stars pertly-coiffed Claire Robbins, Jasmine Byrne, Jamie Huxley, and Bianca Pureheart doing wholly unnatural things that don't live up to the family name. Previously: My First Porn, my ass; Jack's Teen America and the mentally ill; You're not the boss of me See also: Jack's Teen America Mission 13 trailer ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Report: XBiz makes Jenna swart, like lady Gimli
 A story in this morning's XBiz about Jenna Jameson marrying Sumner Redstone or something made the woman named to Playboy's 25 Sexiest Celebrities appear like she spent her days mining mithril in Khelad-zarum.A spokesperson for the scrappy industry-leading trade publication would only not say that nine rings were given to the dwarf lords in their halls of stone. A U.N. Human Rights team was again dispatched to XBiz' Wilshire Blvd. tower to address "oppressive and systematic" cropping violations. Previously: Report: Tera, Jenna, Pirates in award-minting scheme; Sex workers protest GTA See also: XBiz ¶ Thursday, February 23, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The jellied hand of destiny
 Because North Carolina's Adam & Eve is an educating, sex-positive company, they make customers feel good about the decision to stick their products inside themselves.Take this vibrating blue jelly hand, for example. If your girl is into The Other (and whose girl isn't?), you are guaranteed that your eager mail-order bride/"person you're showing around the industry" will not substitute her love for you with desire for the company of a novelty. Were this a flesh-colored device crafted from some kind of "realistic" material, how soon do you think it would be before she fled to Oregon with the lady next door who has a wood shop in her garage? Instead, the Helping Hand Vibe looks like something sealed underground at Area 51 after the alien autopsy. You can say: "You into extraterrestrials, baby?" I cannot tell you how happy I am that Adam & Eve has sent me not only this horrifying jelly hand but also a way for you, the consumer, to buy one your own damn self. I will not mention other companies who just send random e-mails without links just daring me to Photoshop Cenobites in. Previously: What, no tentacles?; Mounting Malezia just got ezia; Doc Johnson releases Hellraiser line of marital aids See also: The Helping Hand Vibe Labels: cenobites ¶ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Blade: extravaganza tastes like sugarcane
 Erstwhile rocker and probably future vampire Barrett Blade has made his rock video directing debut for the trio OPM into a porn film.Rock Hard stars Gina Austin in a reality-style "behind the scenes" take on the making of a rock video and its attendant debauchery. For me, debauchery only means one thing: shark bits. The movie also features Hannah Harper, Texas Presley, Sophia, Cassie Courtland, Alex Divine, Joey, and Avena Lee. Here is a sample lyric from OPM's song "Luffly" for which Blade directed the video: "She's gorgeous She goes against the grain Extravaganza tastes like sugar cane We got big plans whatever she chooses Fky her to Hawaii maybe some cruises I'll explain it's plain and simple She's like the cherry in a Shirley Temple She's the prize at the bottom of the glass Her eyes are the way she shakes that ass." While engaged in the exhaustive research that characterizes my role as America's Porn Journalist, I found a picture of Blade's old outfit, Dial 7. They sound like a great party band that should reunite. Here is a review from Oregon's North-by-Northwest festival:  "The all-male posse Dial 7 wins the collective fashion victim award-no contest. These Laguna Beach, Calif., boys sported a holster, goggles, wallet chains that scraped the floor, sweatbands, one yellow mesh T-shirt and dreadlocks. The band’s almost threatening barrage of hip hop, heavy metal and reggae was almost as suspect as their clothes. While Dial 7 didn’t seem angry, they struck a menacing chord. Here’s what they did have going for them: Good cop/bad cop interplay between the two lead vocalists and tough, buff bods."Previously: It needs to stop; Smokin' Crack 2: the sequel See also: Dial 7 fan page; Sin City ¶ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Unexpected anal = 19 days
 Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man, presented a Contract of Wifely Expectations to his wife, Ruth. She didn't sign it.The document is notable for its concocted legalese, Curlz MT font, and thong requirements. Among the services stipulated in the four-page contract were 12 nude photosets of Mrs. Frey a year. Frey was busted on child porn charges and for kidnapping his wife, who went to church without his permission. Ruth Frey provided the contract to prosecutors after her husband turned himself in. In addition to nude photos, the "Expectations" laid down rules with regard to shaving, dress, whining, and proximity. Behavior short of total enthusiasm was punished with the loss of "Good Behavior Days" but, fair though stern, Frey rewarded "unexpected anal intercourse" 19 "GBD"s, which his wife could spend any way she wanted, pursuant to his approval. It was probably during one of these GBDs that his wife escaped to church. That people might look at this contract and dispute the letter but not the spirit concerns me. Still, I'm sure there are pictures of Frey's wife on the web somewhere; it is only a matter of time before they turn up. Thanks to Looking Glass for the link. Previously: GramPonante search on "Loser"; Recovering Vette See also: Frey's "Wifely Expectations" ¶ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Report: Tera, Jenna, Pirates in awards-minting scheme
 Tera Patrick has just received the "X" award from the Fans of X-rated Entertainment (FOXE), effectively retiring her jersey so that other porn stars can get a chance. The "X" is granted when a performer wins the fan-favorite award three times.Tera now sleeps on a California King mattress stuffed with trophies. "Sometimes it's painful," she did not say. In Arizona, Jenna Jameson has just been named to Playboy's 25 Sexiest Celebrities and her MySpace blog has been ranked within the top ten for "peep"s. "I now win an award with the same frequency that the polar ice cap recedes, in inches," she did not say through a publicist. Picking at a Cobb salad in a trendy Hollywood eatery, Adam & Eve's and Digital Playground's Pirates accidentally grated one of its magazine covers over the hearty, leafy bowl. "I find that Empire is the perfect crouton," it quipped. In other news, Chatsworth police busted a plaque, certificate, and Lucite trophy replicating facility by the train tracks. "We predict that adult awards will outnumber electrons by 2009," a spokesman said. Previously: Tera begins open relationship; Desperate review; Pirates review; Jameson to not receive award See also: ClubTera, ClubJenna, Vivid, Adam & Eve, Digital Playground ¶ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Judge: Google message not too small for the medium
 The popularity of cellphones, iPods, and other small-screened devices resulted in a ruling unfavorable to Google in a case against it by the website Perfect10.com.That Google's image search function displayed thumbnail photos from Perfect 10 was found by U.S. District Court Judge Howard Matz to impede Perfect 10 from capitalizing on thumbnail-size downloads of its "most beautiful natural women in the world". In other words, Google is providing for free what Perfect 10 seeks to make money from. I find this fascinating in a Marshall McLuhan kind of way. There wouldn't be a lawsuit if the medium didn't exist for the viewing of tiny images, and that medium didn't exist a few years ago. "Thumbnail images" used to be synonymous with "Impossible to be used for prurient interests" but now that people are willing to buy thumbnail-sized content for their tinier and tinier screens, that argument is out the window. It's like flipping to a channel you haven't paid for and watching the scrambled footage. To most people, those images are useless. Imagine a subscription-based device then being created for non-stop viewing of scrambled footage, thus making everything picked up (and discarded) by accident a copyright infringement. Google lawyer Michael Kwun predicts that the injunction the two companies are now supposed to hammer out will only affect image searches related to Perfect 10, and that the court ruling will not have any effect on the other thumbnail results from paysites. Previously: Google won't lie down See also: Google infringed copyright by posting thumbnail porn photos; Perfect 10 ¶ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Joanna Angel at Hustler Hollywood
 Are you familiar with Joanna Angel? The gang at VCA are hoping to throw some light on this diminutive and publicity-averse pixie as the star of the company's forthcoming Joanna's Angels 2 signs almost anything fans put in front of her amidst Hustler Hollywood's lubes and jellies this Thursday.Determined readers of this site might notice that Angel will also be at Tristan Taormino's House of Ass fete in New York the following Sunday. How is this possible? Clearly, someone is paying for plane fare. Don't let anyone tell you that porn is for poor people. Instead, it is a playground of the rich and disaffected. Previously: Joanna Angel dislikes broccoli See also: VCA, Burning Angel ¶ Tuesday, February 21, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
A Face for numbers
 JM Productions will release (I said "release") American Bukkake's Greatest Facials just in time for Lent.A bukkake, which is itself a compilation of men with a past, is only made more significant when several bukkakes are combined for an event such as this. American Bukkake's Greatest Facials features Harley Raine, Bubbles, Dynamite, and Mocha receiving upwards of 70 facial cumshots each. Imagine the room in which such things have happened. Imagine the awkward valedictions of the men in the parking lot afterward. "See you." "Yeah." How much more proof do you need that God has turned his face from us? (I'd turn my face, too.) Previously: Fellate Expectations; Missy Monroe reshingles Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary See also: JM Productions ¶ Tuesday, February 21, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
This house is a disco of ass
 Tristan Taormino, Justine Joli, and Joanna Angel will gently push away the folds to reveal the star-shaped launch of Taormino's video House of Ass and the revised edition of her book "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" at the Bowery's Crash Mansion.This will go down on Sunday in a town that has Ass written all over it: New York. In addition to sponsorships by Adam & Eve, AtLeastItsPink.com, Astroglide, Babeland, BurningAngel.com, EonMcKai.com, Eros Boutique, HoneyBun, JonesTownNYC.com, JustineJoli.com, Puckerup.com, The Smitten Kitten, Sphincterine, and WackyJac.com, the party will feature an ass-cake by Masturbakers. I'd love to see what they come up with for my forthcoming Li'l Man Prostate. Previously: House of Dolls and Ass and Fog; Taormino incorporates Ass See also: Adam & Eve, Tristan Taormino ¶ Tuesday, February 21, 2006 2 Comments Links to this post
Vanessa Blue representing XGirl
 Vanessa Blue, also known as Domina X, aka Lexington Steele's fiancee, has opened a management agency with Eve Mayfair called XGirl."We want to concentrate on the girls who've been around for a while as well as the beautiful new talent," Blue said. Blue recognizes that a black female-owned and operated agency would have an appeal to women of color, and indeed the nine performers on XGirl's site are black, but Blue and Mayfair envision the agency as a place where the talent can network, bounce ideas off each other, and take care of business resourcefully. "We're opening our doors to all women," Blue said, "but I'm not taking everybody. "And we're not going to be sitting in the office chasing down every dollar (for our commission)," Blue added. Blue believes that there has been little emphasis placed on making stars of black female talent. "We want to teach the girls longevity," she said. She also acknowledges what she thinks is a frustrating lack of advocacy for black female performers. Despite feeling very strongly the need for a representative agency, Blue worried about sounding "un-PC". "It's easier for a white girl who looks pretty but can't fuck to get with a good agency than a black girl who has looks, smarts, and the whole package," an agent who chose to remain anonymous told me. Blue had the following anecodote about a white performer. "I was sitting next to a woman who couldn't complete an anal scene. The scene was tough for me as well. But I had to go back in there and complete mine while they were patting her on the head and asking if she was OK. She was making twice as much as me, and she didn't finish the job." Blue has been mulling over the idea of an agency for a while, but it was only Mayfair's administrative skills that brought the idea to fruition two weeks ago. Their office is in Woodland Hills. Blue said that without Mayfair in the office Blue could not continue editing and directing. I congratulated Blue on here engagement to Steele. "Yeah, I roughed him up a little," she said. Previously: Oh Yes I would know; Big Tits: who loves them most?; Vanessa Blue in Camera Porn See also: XGirl ¶ Tuesday, February 21, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, February 20, 2006
I am the world's greatest porn director
 Today, having never operated a video camera before or called the shots on an adult production, I directed my first porn scene.The purity of my vision and my lack of corruption by the forces of "Big Porn" allowed for my unchained intensity to shine through on a scene between Tee Real and the well-appointed pinup/fetish glambot Adrianna Nicole. "What is my motivation?" Adrianna Nicole did not say. "Your motivation is to be," I said. "Who is my character?" Tee Real did not ask. "Your character simply is," I said. I was guest director for a scene in Barbed Wire Kiss, a Benny Profane film of a Ron Royster production for VCA. Barbed Wire Kiss features Benny's character in several incarnations. The scene I directed featured Tee Real as Black Benny. I was chosen to direct this interracial anal scene because I, too, am black.  When I walked on set, people cleared away from the craft services table. The makeup girls hid and wept softly. Adrianna showed me several selections of panties."I don't wear panties," I said. "I meant for me," she said. "You definitely shouldn't wear panties," I said, drunk with power and generic sugar-free energy drinks. There was another scene being shot downstairs with the newly-minted Zak Sabbath (nee Zak Smith, he changed his name today, this blog makes it official) and Czech badass Dominica Leoni. "Nazis are different in the United States than they are in Europe," he was saying. It was important that the cast did not feel I was imposing my worldview on them. That is why, when Nicole asked me, "how many positions?" I replied, "as many as you like." When Tee Real asked, "So how do you want me to get her head facing the other way?" I replied, "Go with your feelings." The scene was shot in 45 minutes. "That was the fastest shoot I've ever seen," said people familiar with the production. "45 minutes is the longest one should spend doing anything," I replied. I gathered the actors to me.  "Perhaps I will direct you," I told them. "Perhaps I will not direct you. That which is organic should be your goal.""Where do you want me to put it?" Tee Real asked. "Put it in her ass," I said. "Yes, my ass," Adrianna said. I asked Adrianna what her story was. "I started by doing pinup stuff," she said. "My pinup name is Seven. But around last August I really started shooting scenes." Her last movie was Tits Ahoy 3. I asked what the line was between doing pinup modeling and straight-up porn. "The poverty line," she said. I understand poverty the way I understand actors. Moral poverty. Thanks to Octavio Arizala for the photos. Previously: Barbed Wire Weekend See also: VCA, Benny Profane ¶ Monday, February 20, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Showgirl Media leaves the dancing to you
 So many businesses, so little office space. Harry Weiss and Tony Batman have launched Showgirl Media, a marketing company helping feature dancers get noticed on the dance circuit and the adult entertainment industry in general. "A professional publicist can accomplish twice as much promotion in half of the time," notes Weiss, who sent pictures of himself and Tony Batman rather than, say, a hot naked chick to advertise the new venture. Out of respect to you, the reader, here is a picture of Regan Anthony. The partners say that Showgirl Media is not a booking agency and that all booking requests will be referred to a dancer's agent. This is reasonable, but after Showgirl Media's flat rate, a commission to her booking agent, the DJ, the bartender, and her suitcase pimp, that means the dancer will have less money to give me for my ambiguous services. With a combined 20 years in the adult entertainment and feature dance industries, Batman and Weiss couldn't slide down a pole upside down if they were provided with a winch. Still, they have all the right numbers to call, and that's what's important. If you are an established feature dancer who wants more exposure or if you are just starting out (or, if you want to help the boys finish their website), contact Tony Batman at 770.519.7574 or Harry Weiss at 818.674.9244. Previously: You'll always have a shoulder to squirt on See also: Showgirl Media; Adult Staffing Services; Tony Batman ¶ Monday, February 20, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Farrah forges major mainstream crossover
 Much has been made of Joy Marquart's check forgery and identity-stealing skills ($48,000 scammed in New Jersey, turned in by bail bondsman in Chatsworth for similar charges), but the former porn star Farrah has also appeared in at least one Troma film under her real name.Just the prospect of meeting the Toxic Avenger should be enough to sustain her through the recommended 18-month sentence (though only a Corman credit might fortify a concurrent New Jersey sentence). We are sad that Farrah couldn't have crafted a nobler post-porn career, like Paul Barresi, but what can you do? Here is a comment from a New Jersey blog aggregator that demonstrates that mainstream message board wags are just as droll, accurate, and necessary as their adult counterparts: "It's interesting to note that Joy's porn career was played out by the time she was 30, which basically means porn stars have about the same longevity as your average NFL running back." Previously: That dick stays in the picture See also: Ex porn star faces L.A. charges; Tight Spot on DVD; Farrah on IAFD ¶ Monday, February 20, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Tiana Lynn's comeback
 Because of the tender feelings we still have for each other, I was the last to know that Tiana Lynn, subject of my Best Picture of 2005 contest, had retired from performing. That she waited for this honor to go out on top is understandable.The announcement came on February 9. (I really should read other sites, but sometimes they make me crazy.) I asked Lynn in January what she thought of the new female performer who chose the name "Gianna Lynn". "She's great!" Tiana said. Cross-pollinating the names Gina and Tiana make a Lynn surname recognizable, but it would be like changing my name to Cram Ponante to capitalize on the Donkey Punch phenomenon; it seems ethically unsound in a porn world that prides itself on its moral resolve. Tiana said that, following the release of Swallow My Squirt 3, she would concentrate on adult industry sales at Elegant Angel, where she has been working a more-or-less paid internship in that area for a while, doubling with her duties as a squirtastic firecracker. Now that it's been a week, though, I think the time is right for Tiana to return to performing. We've waited long enough. Previously: Tiana Lynn on the floor; Hot Squirts, I love you so; AVN 2006 gallery See also: Elegant Angel ¶ Monday, February 20, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Hello Dolly-Lo
 D-Cy-pher's Won-der-land is inspired by Lo-li-ta.Here is the review. Previously: Justine Joli and I discusss marriage, geography; In da club; Prisoner review See also: Deviant Culture X, Metro ¶ Sunday, February 19, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Saturday, February 18, 2006
The losers you knew in high school get jobs
 Two uniformed and baseball-capped officers of Montgomery County's Homeland Security Division entered a Bethesda-area library and announced to computer users that viewing pornography was illegal in the library.When challenged by a library customer, the customer was asked to "step outside". Eventually a librarian intervened (librarians are the true heroes), the cops were called, the Homeland Security boneheads left, and their boss says they were reassigned for their "regrettable" actions. We all grew up with people like this. "It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them." - Prof. Henry Jones ***** Spotsylvania County, Virginia, is probably not reeling with the news that Sheriff's Deputies received sexual services from massage parlor workers in the process of gathering evidence to bust prostitutes. Some officers left tips as large as $350, which could help with the bail. Sheriff Howard Smith said similar practices have been in use across the country. An Associated Press story noted that cops in Montgomery County (see above) tried similar stings, all resulting in charges being dropped. I don't think happy endings, while necessary, are a prudent use of taxpayer dollars. Previously: New York: 40 percent smutty, Porn for protest webmaster jailed, That dick stays in the picture See also: Policing porn is not part of job description, Spotsylvania deputies receive sex services in prostitution cases ¶ Saturday, February 18, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, February 17, 2006
Barbed Wire Weekend
 No, Benny Profane's first corporate sellout movie for VCA is not an update of the Pamela Anderson/Clint Howard vehicle. It is instead a revisiting of various stages of the director's life with the help of people like Veronica Jett and a cast of tattooed art thugs.I myself will be Guest Director on this project, in the same way Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell is/(was?) a U.N. Human Rights Ambassador, effecting real change. Many kudos go to microscopic straight-edge firebrand Veronica Jett for jumping into Jade Hsu's no-show shoes and delivering a scene that no doubt helped first-timer Zak Smith remember his lines. The crew is also to be lauded for jimmying a non-running Lincoln Continental (suicide door model) into a downtown loft space, a la hacking MIT students, for Jett to have a suitable mounting surface. The set was like the sad Grey Havens of steveporn, alas, as there were several folks on board who would be staying with VCA while others are headed to Vivid following this production. Set against the backdrop of Al Underwood leaving LFP, the mood was bittersweet. View my initial gallery here. Previously: Vivid-steve launched, Psychocandy 3, The world is your Royster See also: VCA, Benny Profane ¶ Friday, February 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Lurk lands lads, lauds longevity, lashes latecomers
 I was handed an issue of a British old lad's magazine called Mayfair. Only a portion of the M and the R in the title were visible on the cover, due to some jiggly girls depicted thereon, so it was hard to figure out what the publication was (Rolling Stone used to have this problem until someone wrote in, "don't assume that people know who you are by the small section of font you choose to show"). I was delighted, however, to read an interview with our own antipodal Lurk Ford.Last year Lurk asked me to not refer to him by his name. "Tod-Hunter," he wrote, "refers to me as Our Australian Friend, for example." I believe Ford told me why, but the reason seemed convoluted in light of the many places his name is mentioned. A year later, the only reason I am still doing it is because I find the alternatives Lurk Ford and Self-Hating Lew so much more accurate than his real name. Still, as many of us have taken on noms de porn (my real name is Ronnie James Dio), I did not find it odd that Lurk, too, did not want lasers of truth focused on him. What person in his right mind invites media scrutiny? Certainly not Harry Whittington. That is why I settled in for a glimpse into Lurk that only Mayfair and XXX-Communicated: A Rebel without a Shul could provide. Then I forgot it, but it was interesting. You should read it. At the end, though, Lurk says something like, "When I started (writing a site about porn in 1995) I was the only one out there. Now there are 12 guys. But no one does what I do." As America's Beloved Porn Journalist, I find this hubris unsettling. Previously: Adult industry writers wait for check See also: "Why must I try to write like Gram Ponante?" ¶ Friday, February 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Digital Playground responds to Thar She Blows
 Speaking of the Sea, Digital Playground, which also deals with Pirates on occasion, is releasing Jack's Playground 29 as a tribute to the number of men lost on the Edmund Fitzgerald.And speaking of trannies, the movie stars tranny-slayer Nacho Vidal in one of his first American comeback scenes. The flick also stars Julia Ann, Chase Dasani, Delilah Strong, Zoe Britton, Tiffany Hopkins, Taryn Thomas, and Isabella. View the trailer here. Previously: Jesse Jane loves it when a plan comes together, Is Nacho The Fly?, Possibly the greatest movie of all time See also: Digital Playground ¶ Friday, February 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
From Hell's heart I blow at thee
 As Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith and Wankus are going to be married on the island of Nantucket, home of Captain Ahab and boyhood haunt of Jaws' late Peter Benchley, it is only fitting that the couple's most recent project is a nautical-themed fellatio movie called Thar She Blows.Faith joins Lisa Sparxxx, Rebecca Love, and Regan Anthony for this low-budget oral interpretation on the medium seas. Even Cytherea takes a break from trannies to pitch in. Here is the art from the film with a larger-than-the-actual-porn-stars Wankus presiding over a field of disembodied cocks. I am assured this is temporary. Previously: Tyler Faith to make one thing clear See also: Black Widow Media, Team Tyler ¶ Friday, February 17, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Vivid-steve launched
 Like that period between 1378 and 1414 in which people calling themselves Popes resided in both Avignon and Rome, Eon McKai's departure from VCA creates a great schism in the steveporn world in which there will now be a steveporn scene at his old employer and a new one at the boutique Vivid-steve label he is creating.Over Joanna Angel's eggs benedict (arnold) at Canter's following rockstar bingo this evening, I asked McKai if Vivid gave him a set of Vivid Rims in his new position, if Vivid's offices were covered with soft throw pillows and chocolates, and if part of his deal allowed him a separate entourage room where his hoodies could bust shots off. "It's nice," he said. "I keep a mini-desk for my peeps." "It's important to keep your p.i.m.p. hand strong and not let homies have a bigger desk than you," I counseled. I told him that knowing about his news but still having to read the "official" story weeks later on the site of my old employer, who still has my shirts, was sad. I also wondered why he hadn't mentioned some of the other players in the steveporn genre, like Benny Profane and Ron Royster, in the AVN article. Reading that article it would seem that steveporn consisted only of the triumvirate of Joanna Angel, McKai, and Rob Rotten. It reminded me of when kids in school got all proprietary about Audioslave when they hadn't heard Rage Against the Machine. Or when they acted like they'd disovered churros when in fact they've been around at least since 1998. I'm glad everyone is to remain friends despite the 101 forming a barrier between the two camps. Previously: McKai's Antelope Valley plans, VCA fires pre-emptive volley as McKai leaves See also: Eon McKai, Vivid, VCA ¶ Thursday, February 16, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Curious member of Flaming Ones
 Silver-throated belter and pornish self-publicist par excellence Jason Sechrest has been studying Kabbalah for eight years, he says, and now wants you to know about it.I think he has been keeping a lid on his scholarship because he didn't know how to accessorize it. As you know, I, too, am concerned with aspects of Jewish mysticism, the fate of the soul, and often speculate on the nature of divinity. I just don't call it Kabbalah. I call it Daphne Zuniga. After an injuncion, I began to call it Miriam Zuniga. But Sechrest is incorporating Kabbalah into his everyday life, as is required by the National Kabbalah Cartel and the lesser-known fifth angel, Boots the Handler. That is why he has launched KabbalahCurious.com as an adjunct to JasonCurious. "No, this is not a joke," Sechrest did not say, wearily. "While Kabbalah is about acceptance, do not make me summon The Flaming Ones, who are representative of the fiery and destructive aspect of Gevurah." We at Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary laud any spiritual journey that does not end up with a free stress test on Sunset Blvd. Previously: Lockwood opens pod bay doors for Devinn See also: KabbalahCurious Labels: kurt lockwood ¶ Thursday, February 16, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Porn across the water
 As an American, I am either 1. amused 2. frightened or 3. ignorant of things that happen in other countries. Sometimes it is a combination of all three. For example:Woman with incendiary device: I will blow you long time if you pull this cord, Yankee pig. Me: (nervous laughter) Borg chicks are hot. My eel and kidney pie-eating friend Tia Brodie writes from London that she is living with British porn babe Keira Farrell (who used to go by the name Keira Nightly, ha ha). Some of Keira's Blightycentric porn films include:
The Russians could produce Dickin' Kiev Lurk Ford's homeland might come up with Dingos Ate My Labia Thanks for joining me on my journey into Cultural Awareness. Tia Brodie says she'd doing well, thanks for asking, and might be back in the States later this year. Previously: Our far-flung correspondents, Porn Star Karaoke: a gathering of heroes See also: Keira Farrell, Tia Brodie ¶ Thursday, February 16, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Naughty & Nice cums on your grill
 The year's first post-Vegas multi-company technicolor dreamcoat party is next Friday's Naughty & Nice 2, sponsored by just about everybody.Footing the bill will be the Mofowear crowd, Platinum Blue Productions, Deviant Devil Entertainment, and birthday-celebrating sybarite Monstar. Taylor Wane and Lori Pleasure will host, and if you know the way I roll you can be sure I will be demanding fresh napkins and canapes from the hostesses as I drunkenly hit on ther sisters while my date clucks in mortification. The biggest draw of the evening, I think, will be the launch of Flower Tucci's new website, Cum on My Grill. This is a reference to the many barbecues Flower and I had during our brief marriage. Naughty & Nice will be staged at Hollywood's White Lotus, right across the parking lot from the Greyhound station where all this began for some of us. Previously: Porn party report, How to party with models See also: White Lotus ¶ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
VCA Really Rotten
 VCA has signed suburban hausfrau Rob Rotten to a one-picture non-exclusive directing deal. The director's first picture, Anal Swine, will begin production next month. It is about one man's struggle for redemption in a world gone mad."It is a very personal movie," the director said, "and only VCA could see clear to helping me realize my vision." VCA has broken porn's unspoken race code by offering opportunities to brunettes, and its non-exclusive deals are the envy of the industry. Previously: VCA fires pre-emptive volley as McKai leaves, Squealer re-delivered See also: VCA, Las Olimpiadas de la Risa ¶ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Are we our boxcovers?
 Brit mynx Flick Shagwell, whose nom de porn always makes people smile who haven't heard it before, is the boxcover girl for Assho's, a compilation also featuring Catalina of Max Hardcore fame as well as someone named Szilvia.People who show up in compilations never have any say as to what the compilation will be called, but I think Assho's is a particularly unfortunate title. It's the type of thing that will be flicked back at Flick if she ever becomes a Member of Parliament. "M'Lud must needs yield to the Assho' from Croydon." Well, at least it's not Slut School. Previously: You're not the boss of me, Squeeze the Brahmin See also: Maximum Xposure ¶ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 3 Comments Links to this post
Sex workers protest Grand Theft Auto
 San Francisco's Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP-USA) has advised parents and gamers to "vote with their dollars" and boycott the videogame Grand Theft Auto."We object to any media which represents sex workers as legitimate targets of violence, rape and murder," the organization stated, noting that it vigorously opposes censorship. SWOP said it issued the statement to alert other parents to the potential danger of some of the game's themes. "Grand Theft Auto accrues points to players for the depiction of the rape and murder of prostitutes (and is a product) which encourage(s) the denigration and destruction of prostitutes," SWOP said. Though porn stars like Jenna Jameson have lent their voices to GTA (it has several editions, such as the original game, Vice City, San Andreas, and Liberty City), SWOP says the game's hookers are singled out for violence. People who have played the game dispute the rape and point-accrual charge, saying that GTA's violence is universal and pro-bono. "You can kill everybody," says Chatsworth Pictures' Grip Johnson, who is pitching GTA developer Rockstar Games for a Donkey Punch modification. "It's just more fun to kill hookers." Nor are prostitutes raped in GTA, but they are indeed the victims of economic and physical violence. "Getting blowjobs from hookers in the game costs you money, but provides a health boost," said Stephen Johnson (no relation to Grip), web producer of G4 Videogame Television's Attack of the Show. "After the health boost is gained, it's possible to kill the hooker and get your money back, much like real life." A spokesperson for New York's Take-Two Interactive, which owns Rockstar Games, did not return calls in time for publication. Previously: World of Warcraft SEX!, First-person shooter, Natalie Imbruglia lying naked on the space station floor See also: Sex Workers' Outreach Project, Rockstar Games ¶ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Survey: Canadians fuck drunk
 13 percent of them do, anyway.Sources say the drunk lives in Edmonton. Previously: Craving Big Cocks: not Canadian, Vegas wants to live like a refugee See also: Young Canadians prefer 'virtual sex' ¶ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Dildos and Freedom
 When we're in the city, we do things differently.My concubine and I are militia folk, and when life at Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary becomes too "progressive" we like to head out to our fortified Copper Mountain compound with its non-Pasteurized milk, subterranean storehouses, and pamphlet cannons that we can fire at zip codes in which Trader Joes are located. That is why Pipedream's unveiling of a rechargeable Rabbit Pearl vibrator is especially exciting to the survivalist community and Ted Nugent. No more will we be dependent on alkaline from countries hostile to the Homeland. Real Americans thank you, Pipedream! Previously: Xanadildu, Strippers go to Hell, Possa engooped, Publisher vets lube See also: Pipedream products ¶ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Classy
 I used to think the worst pick-up line ever was Bruce Springsteen's "You ain't a beauty but hey - you're allright" from "Thunder Road".Not any more. Apparently the Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party I witnessed being filmed was Number 14 and is subtitled King Klit. They had one of those naked couriers messenger me a copy of the trailer today. During the behind-the-scenes interviews, the lovely Monica Sweetheart tells Stevie that she's single. "If I was single I'd be on you like flies on shit," Stevie says. Previously: Day rate plus anal, Dildopolis See also: Cousin Stevie, Pureplay Media ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
The Year of the Cat
 One of the many taboos broken in Hustler's Taboo #6 is dressing up like a cat or somebody from Eyes Wide Shut or a WWI gas attack survivor.The film stars Ana Nova, Shy Love, Harmony, Nikki Nievez, Cherokee, and Sophia. In other news, Julie Newmar and Jim Belushi have settled their differences. Previously: Kylie checks in, Lot's wife gets an eyeful See also: Hustler, Time Passages ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
24-hour slumber-party people
 Sin City is releasing six DVDs of teen-flavored porn that amount to one whole day of Nabokovian regret.Never Ending Teens, when played on repeat, is the realization of Wilford Brimley's quote from Cocoon: "We'll never be sick, we won't get any older, and we won't ever die." It is also the realization, if its press release is to be believed, of the quote "You're under arrest." Previously: Are you a Mouthketeer? Counselor - catch that ambulance! See also: Sin City, ASACP ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Strip club gift cards
 ...is an idea whose time has come.Gluily attached to each copy of Exotic Dancer's 2006/2007 Adult Nightclub Guide is a VIP card good for admission discounts or other goodies at about 750 clubs nationwide. Whether the manager's loser brother in-law who staffs the door will honor the cards is a different story, but in theory this is a great idea. The Nightclub Guide lists what's on the menu at (advertising) clubs so one doesn't show up at The Musty Cloaca on Rte. 60 to find they don't give lapdances before noon. Clubs that honor the card are listed here. Previously: L.A. strip club review See also: Exotic Dancer ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sophie Dee caught unawares
 It is clear that "Sophia" Dee wasn't expecting to be fed black cock in this file photo. Officials say that Dee's routine trip to a local haggiserie turned Black Cocktacular quickly."Where would I put it all?" she did not say. I believe the man to her right is trying to carburete her like a Welsh bong. Previously: Answers to your pinkness questions, Corn-fed, cornrows See also: Maximum Xposure ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
The decline of western civilization: Dildopolis
 High atop the city of Los Angeles sits the home of Rick Plank, owner of Phallix Glass. I call it Xanadildu.Plank threw a combination Valentine's Day/birthday party for Cousin Stevie (he uses Phallix products in his Pussy Parties) this weekend, which I attended with the multiracial glamazon Iphigenia Squirtz. The party had a Zeppelinesque feel to it, as I found Plank presiding shirtless over debauchery involving models, ice sculptures, bodypainted bartendrices, and Jagermeister. "I am a golden god!" he might as well have been saying, finding groupies to stick shark bits into. Outside, weary valets backed cars down the length of windy (windy with a long "i" - the air was still as the dead hooker in my trunk) streets and ran back up the hill again. When I arrived, one fixed me with a look of pure hate when I handed him the keys and said I had to leave in 40 minutes. Inside was a sexy nightwear party. I was dressed all in black, like Johnny Cash and the Viet Cong. "Man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin' adversary," I said to Shy Love. The bartender lady (pictured, image courtesy April Storm) did not know what "three fingers of Dewars" meant, but that really was not the point, at all. It was a great party with a low weasel count, tasty snacks, and people like the virginal Sunny Lane running around being, as always, charming. I asked her if she wanted to go the contract girl route or continue appearing in every film ever made. "I am keeping my options open," she said, and then we talked to some swingers about dog collars and UFOs. It was then time to leave, but we wished we could stay. People rolled around on beds and lolled in the hot tub. The vacant-eyed valet (his sign read "attendent on duety") ran three miles to get my car. "Somehow I feel I must have displeased my ancestors," he said. "I left something in the trunk for you," I said. Previously: Pussy Party: Day rate plus anal See also: Phallix Glass, Cousin Stevie ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Valentine's Day Lust
 I received the following spam today, entitled Fucking St. Valentine:What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day??? Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...The most simple way is to visit our site, order the medication and that is all you are to do! Do not kill the clock! I have this robot's address if any companies need publicists. Please feel free to send as many enquiry e-mails as possible here. I desperately need to know what pea-time is. In the meantime, here is a picture of Lori Lust. It's lucky Mr. and Mrs. Lust's daughter got into porn, because hers would be an unfortunate name if she managed a Cracker Barrel. As you can see, Ms. Lust is wearing holiday-appropriate heels in her well-appointed kitchen. This is exactly what marriage should be. Previously: Eye Candy, Enough Rope, Continuing Education Credits See also: Lori Lust ¶ Tuesday, February 14, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Monday, February 13, 2006
Hookers love bingo
 Provided Joanna Angel can dig herself out of the New York snow, she will be appearing with Eon McKai and Rancid's (and Transplants') Tim Armstrong at Rock 'n' Roll Bingo this Thursday night from 6 - 10 at Crane's Hollywood Tavern.The event is a promotional wingding for Neu Wave Hookers, proving that even though McKai is no longer with VCA, everyone still loves everyone else and nothing bad has ever happened, ever. This will be the first time an adult company has sponsored this longstanding event, which is a hoot. 5 bucks gets you your own bingo card. Having friends who are rock stars is almost as cool as having friends who are porn stars. Transplants' 2002 song "Diamonds and Guns" will be featured on the upcoming Joanna's Angels 2 soundtrack. ("We got a deal," a VCA source says.) Crane's Hollywood Tavern is located at 1611 N. El Centro in Los Angeles. Previously: Joanna Angel dislikes broccoli See also: VCA, Eon McKai, Burning Angel, The Transplants ¶ Monday, February 13, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Oh yes I would know
 If trannies are more to your likingCheck out this new flick from Black Viking Called You'd Never Know The cast members show Depictions of Hell that are striking Previously: Mercenary: "VHS is a joke", What is Lex thinking? See also: Lexington Steele, An Insider's Guide to Rio de Janeiro ¶ Monday, February 13, 2006 4 Comments Links to this post
Cuties, Cream discussed
 Now you can get your trannies and tech support in the same place.While I have visited Defiance Films' sprawling campus in Calabasas, I am convinced that they have farmed out some work to India. Which work you ask? "Cream Crazed Cuties is a balls to the wall throat fuckfest where these sweet teens throats and mouths are used and abused like it was their pussies." Cream Crazed Cuties stars Roxy Jezel, Cindy Crawford, Cytherea, Jasmine Tame, Chanel Chavez, Leah Love, and Montana Rae. The following is a quote from our in-house blurb generator: "Defiance rises to the top with Cream Crazed Cuties!" Ginger Baker did not say, "I don't get it," when not contacted. Previously: Rain ignored, Tranny kept a' rollin', Trannies and the Constitution See also: Defiance Films ¶ Monday, February 13, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Let it Swede
 The ultra-long-leggedy SwedeTo a Black Widow deal has agreed It won't be obtrusive For it's non-exclusive Puma says she will never be treed. Previously: "We bought out the pasty store." See also: Black Widow Media ¶ Monday, February 13, 2006 3 Comments Links to this post
Wilkommen land of Austria
 For the second time in a year, I was interviewed by Austrian media on American pornography.I'm like the Austrian Hasselhoff. See also: Der globale Rotlichtbezirk, Pornography und Me, Falco tragedy ¶ Monday, February 13, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
WAAT the hell is "late night entertainment"?
 WAAT Media is a Sherman Oaks wireless entertainment provider which has just acquired the German game developer Charismatix. The pairing will allow Charismatix' products to reach the customer base WAAT has allegedly developed.As America's Beloved Porn Journalist, I was unaware why I'd received such a press release until I started sniffing ambiguously-adult things in the dry wording. A quick visit to WAAT's website reveals a standard vague "synergy"-style page that doesn't really say what the company does, except that it does it really well. The press release says WAAT is the world leader in something called "late night entertainment" and hints at casino games, web chat, and other Java-based message services. In other words, yet another way to go to Hell via your cell phone. GramPonante search on the word "vague": Google won't lie down, Carmella Bing, Ass Week at VCA See also: WAAT Media ¶ Monday, February 13, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Pornographer or stalker? Who cares?
 Andre Madness' film for Hustler, The Pornographer, does not, as I feared, overwhelm hotties like Eva Angelina, Hillary Scott (pictured), and Cindy Crawford with murky porn drama in place of a story.The Pornographer is a good example of how a movie can be delivered to a company and then the company adds its own stamp for better or worse - as there are a few elements on the box and DVD menus that don't agree with what was actually shot. Those bits are only curiosities that don't distract from a solid movie. That a project about illegal recordings of hot chicks comes out during the anti-terror wiretap hearings is probably coincidental, as only Wafah Binladin qualifies as a hot chick. Read the review. Previously: Whores Don't Wear Panties, The Pornographer (preview) See also: Hustler, Madness Pictures ¶ Sunday, February 12, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, February 10, 2006
Bogota girls son facil
 UrgeXotica is a Florida-based porn startup that shoots Miami's and Latin America's tastiest fleshly export: old Jewish ladies and escaped Nazis.Wait a minute. I'll start over. They shoot hot Latinas. The Girls of Bogota, Colombia is sort of an Intensities in Ten Cities-style flick except that there's only one city. But Bogota is a goddamned dangerous city and that is reflected in the performances of these scorching and doomed unknowns. There is a trailer for your perusal here. The company features profiles of several women in the news lately, like Sexy Outdoor Sports Daisy Duxx as well as Flower Tucci, who goes back and forth to Florida because she's got something the Latins require. I speak Latin. My favorite girl on their site, though, is someone called "Hysterica". Previously: May '05 archives See also: UrgeXotica, Our Lady of the Assassins ¶ Friday, February 10, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The Colostitute
 "When I was living in that bordello in Atlanta (finishing Alternative Worldz)," Atomic Vixens director Ron Royster said, "there was this guy who used to hustle near our corner. He'd had some kind of injury and wore a colostomy bag, and used to charge people to, you know - "That's where the conversation ended. Previously: The world is your Royster See also: Atomic Vixens, VCA ¶ Friday, February 10, 2006 2 Comments Links to this post
Slut School: why Johnny can't read
 When I think of the Randall family of pornographers, I like to think of them riding horses English-style with gins-and-tonics held aloft in special tumblers with an engraved coat of arms and shooting at the natives from their porch with small-caliber pistols.That is why it is horrifying to read that Holly and Suze Randall's latest movie is called something as common as Slut School. Why not just remove every vestige of gentility I have come to mistakenly associate with the Randalls and call it Ball-draining Cockhogs? Slut School stars Codi Milo, Sative Rose, Jenna Haze, Celeste Star and Lacie Heart and was directed for the Randall filth collective by someone called Big Bad Onxxx. Previously: The erotic photography of Holly Randall, Karch, Suze injured See also: PurePlay Media, Suze ¶ Friday, February 10, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
New Sensations assimilates Shane's World
 Shane's World will become the Reality Division of New Sensations on March 1.Shane's World is best known for its headline-grabbing College Invasion series and New Sensations recently scored with Dark Angels 2: Bloodline. But enough of my yabbering. Let's leave it to a professional: "Shane's World is a phenomenon unlike all of the other adult products in the market. The continued explosive growth of this franchise is something I am thrilled to be a part off" said New Sensations president, Scott Taylor I once had an explosive growth. I had a part off, it removed Like a married couple keeping separate bank accounts, the two companies are doing the smart thing and maintaining their own domains. Previously: Lockwood opens the pod bay doors for Devon, Penny Flame's first camera porn See also: Shane's World, New Sensations Labels: kurt lockwood ¶ Friday, February 10, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Natalie Imbruglia: lying naked on the space station floor
 Black Widow's The Princess Has Come of Age is apparently the biggest selling download at VOD emporium Hot Movies.Made as a lark by some Italian computer nerds, the movie would have cost a million dollars had their work hours been accounted for, their espressos deducted, their Suspiria Underoos expensed, and their lire exchanged. While animated women are less jiggly than the ones I like, this movie was entertaining and uplifting for its scenes of diversity and sex with machines. I don't know if the ragazzi used a fantasy Natalie Imbruglia as a model, but it seems that way. Previously: Let me introduce His Frogness See also: Black Widow, Hot Movies, Nataliue Imbruglia's campaign to end - you guessed it - Fistula ¶ Thursday, February 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Harper and Austin rock the 'xnard
 Hannah Harper and Gina Austin (no relation to Oscar Goldman) will be applying Sharpies to freshly-photocopied photos and pungent shrinkwrap this weekend at Oxnard's A View to Video.They will be signing for five hours each on Saturday and Sunday. I hope they wear sneakers. That's a long time to stand. Dependable Skeleton writes: "Do you start looking at the fans with contempt?" Previously: Ashley Blue goes north (but apparently the gig went south), Gina Lynn: I want you in MI AZ See also: Sin City ¶ Thursday, February 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Taylor Rain: "Keith won't look at me because I'm not a tranny."
 No one said that.Previously: Trannies and the Constitution, Taylor Rain goes gentle into that good night See also: Defiance Films ¶ Thursday, February 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Porno News Network obliterated
 The always dapper Don Benn, longtime adult biz media/marketing guy based in the old country (Philadelphia), writes to say that his Porno News Network domain has been co-opted by an amateur gangbang site after what appears to be a runaround from a once-trusted web host.This is the second letter I've received in as many days saying that something is no longer happening rather than that something is about to, (and better than ever before). Like David Banner, Benn moved from place to place within the industry, and he described his site as always dependable and rarely controversial. That it stayed in business seven years was quite an acheivement. Because I surround myself with bodyguards and yes-nymphs who tell me I'm great and bring me sandwiches made of girls, I hadn't heard of Don's site, but it's always sad when one's web server does one wrong. We wish Mr. Benn the best of luck in his next gig. Previously: No such thing as a fluffer, Devan on a jet plane See also: Internet Wayback Machine ¶ Thursday, February 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
VCA fires pre-emptive volley as McKai leaves
 My high school history teacher was fond of saying that anytime something is put in print, it is reflective of something that isn't. So a "Keep off the grass" sign is indicative of lots of pre-sign trodden landscaping, and "Thou shalt not kill" meant there had been a lot of killing done before Moses showed up all entabletted.So when I got an e-mail about contract negotiations breaking down between Eon McKai and VCA, I looked at the landscaping. As much as porn press releases can be train wrecks, each means something. That a company would send out a press release to say that negotiations had failed seemed, at best, odd, and definitely not in keeping with the self-congratulatory template they usually follow. Unless VCA expected there to be another press release from somewhere else in the near future. That's what I believe, but I had to check (normally I wouldn't, but I was waiting for some paint to dry). Neither VCA reps nor Eon McKai went on record for this story, so this is all speculation. VCA wanted to keep Eon because, even if his rep did not reflect his sales, titles like Parking Lot Pimpin' and Fuck My Face never got mentioned in the LA Times or the Village Voice. Eon was being courted by other companies, or one in particular, who may or may not have given him a better financial deal than the one VCA strove to provide. Eon has worked at VCA for years, long before he was "Eon McKai" (his real name is Oscar Goldman) and it must be a tough decision to leave. Will McKai's next company give him the creative freedom and cash he requires? Will VCA find a new Eon McKai who can justify the contract the old one couldn't get? Will Oscar Goldman leave the porn business and form a Guess Who/Frank Zappa cover band called New Mother Natures of Invention? Whatever happens, dear readers, I will get the press release. Previously: Neu Wave Hookers, Steveporn deathwatch See also: VCA, Eon McKai, Vivid, XPT thread ¶ Thursday, February 09, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Pink+Aid: Coming for Katrina
 Halcyon and Tassy saw each other across a crowded room that was lousy with adult webmasters. His hair was pink, her hair was pink. They made a connection. They fell in love.As you know, my penis is like an industrial Phillips head screwdriver they use for fixing satellites in space and my fifth wife's vagina is octagonal, so you can see why we got together. Anyway, the Pinks, as they call themselves, got together with a bunch of cyber-groovy friends to have a webcast orgy to raise funds for Katrina relief. Their October, 2005 wingding was filmed and the Pink+Aid DVD is now available for 20 bucks, all of the proceeds of which will be donated to DisasterCorps.org.  I have always been slightly awkward around people so sexually uninhibited. My Catholic upbringing still craves subtlety and menace. That is why when I asked the Pinks why I never see them at Vons' supermarket despite their distinctive looks, they replied, "Sorry, but when we see you, we hide in the lunchmeat section."Halcyon described the DVD as "intimate, but not right up in your crotch" when I asked how he would compare it to "traditional" porn movies. Pink+Aid features the philanthropic grindings of the Pinks, Lexi Bardot, Vanilla DeVille, Vancouver's Elli (pictured), and Ashley Fires. Previously: XBiz awards: short and full of snacks See also: Pink+Aid ¶ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Ashley Blue goes north
 Ashley Blue, whose Fat Fuckin' Faggot battle cry charmed America, will be appearing this weekend at San Francisco's New Century Theatre on Larkin Street.Blue has been feature dancing for about a year, says spiritual advisor Tony Malice. Is there anything she can't do?? I will often feature dance to meet fans, make some extra money, and be arrested. Previously: Ashley Blue: what she isn't See also: JM Productions ¶ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The Devil went down to Charlotte
 There are several porn centers in the United States. There's Chatsworth, Canoga Park, my pants, and Van Nuys. What always surprises me is how North Carolina has become such a hotbed of filth, too.There's Adam & Eve, AEBN ... there's even Asians on Blondes. This story about Podporn producer Xobile (headquartered in Charlotte) underlines the struggles people in other parts of the country still face with community disdain (I like it when porn companies respond to accusations of immorality by saying porn's popularity is a result of bad parenting) even as Porn Valley employees blithely pull triple-anals in the Lamplighter parking lot (which reminds me, I'm late for lunch). Previously: Carmen Hart, Bring me the ass of Alexia, The world is your Royster See also: Xobile ¶ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
You're not the boss of me
 Sativa Rose, whom I first saw in Whores Don't Wear Panties, is pictured here adorning a high-concept project called Pump My Tits, Fill My Hole.Sativa looks like Lindsay Lohan gone right, and she probably doesn't drive over paparazzi, either. There is something that troubles me about this picture, however. Like many people in this industry, I chafe against authority and I don't respond well to orders, especially complex series of them coming from boxcovers, so Pump My Tits, Fill My Hole starts out with a handicap for me. This movie features people like Summer Cummings, Lisa Sparxxx and others donning some kind of suction device on their breasts while they are penetrated by other plasticoid things. How do you build a movie around that? Where is the conflict? I don't get it. I like simple commands, like Fuck Me Harder, White Boy, which doesn't so much sound like a mandate as a way of life. Previously: Sex Trap: the sad state of our nation's nuns, Eye Candy: the 3.6 rule See also: Maximum Xposure ¶ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
The web is a cruel mistress
 Ironhead directrix Tina Tyler writes that the site I'd listed as hers in a recent insightful and provocative post was instead one maintained by people pirating her image.Like the language of Mordor, I shan't utter the bogus site name here. "It's owned by some bastards who are using my name and likeness for profit without my permission," she said, "or, I suspect, the proper 2257 compliance." Tyler's officemate, Lexington Steele, last year won back his eponymous domain from Tsarist squatters. Tyler's real site is here. Previously: Don't hate - fellate See also: Tina Tyler's Yahoo! group ¶ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
PSK sans Wankus avec Ass
 I haven't been to Porn Star Karaoke in over a month, as I needed to physically and spiritually train for last month's Vegas convention and get my body into top physical condition. Sardo's was jumping as I strode in after such a long absence."Leopold," they said. It was Bad Ass Models night, and I knew beforehand that if I wanted to snap photos of "Bad Ass" Frank's talent pool it would require motivation I'd otherwise need to use to get drinks. "I will snap photos if they come over here," I said to myself. And guess what? They didn't. I watched as one of his girls whipped out a laptop with Movie Magic Scheduler on it to coordinate upcoming synthetic feuds. Oddly enough, there was a faux Bad Ass Frank walking around who was a little taller than the real one. I saw two people say Frank-like things to him before I figured out it wasn't Bethesda's Own Frank. When the actual Frank arrived with his retinue, he needed to pay for some extra guys to get in. Sucker. Over the course of the evening, I met several of my writerly comrades in this dangerous game of porn media. A full 42 percent of them have bad breath. How do I tell them? ("Posting it works," writes Tod-Hunter.)  Flower Tucci grabbed my right nut. That girl has a reach. I am hoping to ask her to Thanksgiving dinner this year. She was sitting at a table with Sunny Lane and (I hope this is correct) Olivia O'Lovely as well as Mofo of MofoWear. I am jealous of Mofo despite my blond hair and tailored black jeans. Flower showed me her Mofowear underpants but my camera was not fast enough, plus you can't expect me to live my life that way, looking through a lens rather than experiencing underwear firsthand. I'm not some kind of machine. Still, that goddamn Mofo had his name on Flower's underwear. Fuck! Note to self: design a line of clothing.  In another booth sat Psychocandy auteur Benny Profane. He is making a movie called Barbed Wire Kiss for VCA with Carolyn Pierce and Jade Hsu. "It's going to have fifty scenes in it, like a death metal album," he said to someone, then admitted he was kidding when the other erson didn't get it. I imagine that sort of thing happens to him all the time. Profane told an anecdote about his father entertaining the mother of a woman Benny was "auditioning" in another room. Mom was giving her daughter a ride to the audition (the daughter was of legal age, of course). "My father is a charmer," he said. "Then the lady drove her daughter home without knowing what had just happened." Like real Australians, Wankus has gone on walkabout from PSK, or perhaps a vision quest. I think it's because Tyler is dating. Anyway, the atmosphere was different with delightful Kristen running the show. No surreal things happened but also no one lived in fear that Wankus would sign about him or her. It was a tradeoff that meant I paid less attention to the stage and more to people's underwear. I met some people I know from another life. "Leopold - " they began. "It's Gram, fellas," I said. Tara of Freepornstarpix mispronounced my name yet again. When she makes out with men she knows are married, she becomes indignant when informed their wives are upstairs. "That's low class," I said. A pig-tailed women from North Carolina named Leola was being squired around by whomever could catch her attention. Here she is with Hall-of-Famer Roy Karch.  "I only do girl/girl and solo," she said. "I did a boy/girl scene once but I will never do it again," she said. She's 19. I felt very old. I took solace that I was not nearly as old as anyone in my immediate vicinity. "Do you have a website?" I asked. "No," she said. "But I/you do have a MySpace profile," we said together. Karch took me aside. "I asked her if she was a bad girl," he said. "She said, 'No, but I'm learning.'" We let the comment rest in the air. "She said she was a virgin three months ago," he continued. I felt we were both in danger of walking out into the street and being hit by cars. Holly Randall showed up. I refrained from pursuing personal questions. She has seen my blood.  The smallest outfit award went to a woman named Lori Lust. She and her partner, Craig, moved here from a small town in Michigan two weeks ago and she has already appeared on LA XPress: the hooker publication the clerk at 7-11 reads. She has been working constantly since she got here.  I asked Craig, who is also talent and who saved Lori from a bad marriage through the liberating practice of swinging, if he felt that his own career had taken a back seat. "It's all about her," he said, handing me their business cards. Previously: Porn Star Karaoke hitlist See also: Sardo's Bar ¶ Wednesday, February 08, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The Contractor gives good fountainhead
 As a 32nd-degree mason, I appreciate all pornography involving the building trades and grouting. When I stand outside the Home Depot every Saturday morning hoping someone will hire me, it is often with thoughts that I'll be caulking alongside Austyn Moore and Carmen Luvana.It is just my luck that in the first news I've had of them that didn't involve a pirate, the two Adam & Eve contractors are getting together for a movie called The Contractor. Moore and Luvana have never done a scene together, though they've known each other for years. Each described sexual tension building between them in a manner reminiscent of the way I felt about my eventual but long-delayed tryst with Mariel Hemingway. “Let’s just say it took several days before I could look Carmen in the eye again,” said Moore. The Contractor also stars Taryn Thomas, Charmane, Tyra, and Evan Stone. Previously: Luvana becomes virtual reality badass, First person shooter See also: Adam & Eve ¶ Tuesday, February 07, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Recovering Vette
 Reigning MILF Queen and “Viking Vixen” Vicky Vette last month separated from her husband and longtime scene partner, Frank, in an acrimonious split that saw Vette levying charges of battery and Frank accusing Vette of belonging to the white supremacist National Alliance party.Frank is now dead, an apparent suicide; Vette is not planning to cancel any of her dance gigs this month; and chatroom posters have nothing nice to say. Vette cited 18 years of mental and physical abuse, including three straight days of beatings in early January, as her reason for leaving Frank (he never used a last name). Frank responded with charges she was a white supremacist, despite reports that Vette, at 40 only a three-year veteran of the porn scene, was planning to shoot interracial content this month. Frank was found dead at the apartment of a friend on January 30, one day after Vette announced their separation. Vette’s publicist said the police ruled Frank’s death a suicide. The couple joined the industry as swingers and Vette has appeared in about 100 films as well as in frequent content updates to her own site. A director told me, "I'd be filming Vicky sitting on a chair right here and Frank would be inches away from her. I'd say, 'Frank, would you back up just a little? You're in the shot.' Then he'd move back about three more inches." She has been silent about details (she is performing in Wichita this weekend) as message boards have lit up with porn lurker musings admiring Frank’s bravado at not making a cry for help, the shape of Vette’s teeth and hands, whether the abuse charges were true, and if Vette’s asking price would go up now that she is “doing interracial”. In fact, the thread on message board XXXPorntalk didn’t get three posts in before the mood turned venal. See also: Vicky Vette's husband commits suicide, Vicky at Home ¶ Tuesday, February 07, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
House of Dolls and Ass and Fog
 If only Jennifer Connelly could also be there.Tristan Taormino's asstastic reality porn House of Ass ("See what happens when people stop being polite and start getting naked") is sponsoring a contest that will yield unto the winner over $500 in anal sex DVDs and a Carmen Luvana love doll. Though neither Luvana nor her love doll were in the movie, you can see she is lending her support to the project. To enter, simply click the link below and enter your best (true) anal sex story. The top three stories will be published in Genesis magazine. Perhaps you will receive special attention if you employ the word "kabob". For inspiration, click here. Previously: Taormino incorporates Ass See also: Genesis' House of Ass Contest, Adam & Eve, House of Ass trailer ¶ Tuesday, February 07, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
That dick stays in the picture
 Luther "Uncle Luke" Campbell is releasing a three-CD audiobook entitled My Life & Freaky Times.Campbell is best known for leading the group 2 Live Crew to multiplatinum sales based not on the quality of the record but the controversy surrounding the lyrics. I bought that record in 1989 (when I was 4). Here is a sample lyric: "That dick! Is a motherfucker I won't get pussy-whipped by a dick sucker. That dick! Is a greedy bitch's dinner I let a bitch feed before I go up in her." Awesome. "I let a bitch feed." The album, As Nasty As They Wanna Be, spawned protests and an obscenity case. Videos for the album (including "Me So Horny") featured booty-shaking hoochies on South Beach. Campbell is credited by no less a personage than MTV co-founder Les Garland as being one of the originators of this problem. "Today nearly every rapper follows his model,” Garland said. Like Robert Evans' The Kid Stays in the Picture, which gained popularity as an audiobook, Campbell's My Life & Freaky Times will detail his experiences with rap music, sex, business, law, and politics. Campbell, who originally called himself Luke Skyywalker, now goes by the name "Uncle Luke". Considering that many porn stars get into the business as a result of experiences with their uncles, the name change is appropriate. I look forward to rolling down Slauson in my 6-4 cranking Uncle Luke - My Life & Freaky Times with my system up. The accompanying soundtrack features Petey Pablo, Jacki-O, Pitbull, Dirtbag, Big Tigger, and Trick Daddy. Previously: Kurupt makes entertainment industry look tawdry, A man called Necro See also: Urban Box Office, Black in the Ass - Nein! ¶ Tuesday, February 07, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Tyler Faith to make one thing clear
 Get this straight: Tyler Faith does not love you. She only loves me. And possibly Wankus, her fiancee.Even though you might get your name picked out of a hat this weekend at the West Palm Beach club Bada Bing and find yourself chauffered behind the wheel of a large automobile with Faith right beside you, heading off to "a FIVE STAR dinner at one of Southern Florida's top cuisines", understand that she doesn't love you. She only loves me. And that guy Wankus. Despite the fact that every time between February 9 and 11 that you pay an admission fee at the club on Okeechobee Road your name is entered in the Win a Date with Tyler Faith contest, you need to be aware that your devotion does not create a similar devotion in 2005 Nightmoves Performer of the Year Faith. Her devotion is entirely to me, some person named Wankus, and Jesus Christ, Our Lord. Even as a small retinue of videographers trails you into the VIP area of the South Beach hotspot Klub where you and Tyler will drink all night for free, understand that if Requited Love was the cup from which you quaff, it would have a little hole in it, because Tyler Faith does not love you. She only loves me, her roommate Wankus, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey player Mike Eruzione. When, at the end of the evening, you arrive home alone, save for your memories and video documentation of your time with Tyler, don't forget that the last thing Tyler said to you was not "I love you" but instead "I had a wicked good time, kid." Because Tyler Faith only loves me, and that douche Wankus, and fuckin' gettin' plastid at the Kowloon, and the Hilltop fuckin' Steakhouse, and Jim Craig when he's not drunk, and Danny Ainge even though he's a Mormon, and the Ted Williams tunnel, and Route 128 when it's dark outside, and Our Lord Jesus Christ. Previously: Sorry Fellas, She's Engaged See also: Tyler Faith ¶ Tuesday, February 07, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Monday, February 06, 2006
Pinup Bigfoot Sighting
 Pinup photographer Octavio Arizala will be pimping his coffeetable book full of pneumatic and dangerous vixens at Los Feliz Boulevard's Bigfoot Lounge on March 18."If you buy my book, I will buy you a drink," Arizala states, but does not say what kind of drink or where. The Bigfoot is down the street from the Roost, where I always see the guy who played Michael Bolton in Office Space. The Bigfoot is also across the street from the Los Feliz 9 golf course featured in Swingers in a scene with Ron Livingston of Office Space. Other than the Costco in the neighborhood, the Office Space-related sites, and the Bigfoot, there really is no reason that part of Glendale shouldn't be burned down. I have seen the gallies of Arizala's book Modern Vixens, however, and recommend it as a book you ahould own to make people think you're different than you are. Previously: Hallo, Space Vixen See also: Winkytiki ¶ Monday, February 06, 2006 3 Comments Links to this post
Porn-by-phone: your rights as a performer
 You are a porn actor contracted to shoot video or Internet content for a day rate or a scene rate. After the shoot is over, you are asked to stay a little while longer and go through the motions for phone content. Do you get more money?This article about Vivid's adult chat service, VividNow, appeared in today's Chicago Tribune. Unionized Hollywood actors, animators, and writers have all successfully negotiated for extra money when the job they do for one medium is translated to another. This sort of thing happens when workers are unionized. (Another thing that happens when workers are unionized is that they go on strike and don't make money.) The only real difference between the non-adult entertainment industry and this one lies in the lack of unionized labor. Everything else is a matter of scale. There would never be a "and we're going to do this extra scene for mobile phones" scenario on a Hollywood set unless agents, managers and the SAG rep were all on board, too, and the extra work reflected in a paycheck. That said, parking is always a lot easier on this side of the hill. See also: Porn turns lustful eye to wireless, Vivid ¶ Monday, February 06, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Charlotte Stokely speaks in tongues
 Hustler's Barely Legal franchise has split off into several subcategories, including Corrupted, Diet, and Clear (for Scientologists).In the sixth installment of the Corrupted series, Miss Charlotte Stokely's vagina is apparently playing host to the Holy Spirit in the same way her feet are playing host to Chuck Taylor. I spoke with Stokely on the set of The Da Vinci Load and asked her to affect a sassy persona for a picture I was taking. "That doesn't fit with my image," she said. She answers to a higher calling. The title also features Bailey, Michelle Maylene, Leah Luv, and Georgia Peach. Previously: Counselor: catch that ambulance! See also: Hustler ¶ Monday, February 06, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Mick reveals censored lyrics to Gram
 Since 1978, Gram Ponante.com has been your one-stop anti-censorship web outlet.That is why I am happy to report the two words censored from the Rolling Stones' thrilling and chickenfatted halftime performance at yesterday's SuperBowl. Are you ready? 1. Come 2. Cocks Previously: Porn for protest webmaster jailed, See also: Network censors Rolling Stones' Super Bowl gig ¶ Monday, February 06, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Study: Home piracy "absolutely not a lucrative business"
 A British man was brought into custody and his belongings seized when police found DVD replication equipment and stacks of pirated DVDs, some of which were pornographic, as well as about $16k in cash in his home.Robert Bence would peddle pirated content in office parks from the trunk of his car. He told police he had embarked on the business venture after losing his job, but officers found a dismissal letter from a former employer stating Bence's content piracy as the reason for his termination. Previously: Kansas considers porn tax See also: Blow your rights, Man jailed over illegal DVD factory ¶ Monday, February 06, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Trannies and the Constitution
 While it is shocking that trannies were once again excluded from the Super Bowl (aside from Ron Wood), Defiance Films, alone among the studios of its size, is attempting to rectify that by releasing the second of its Trantastic movies, subtitled Boys Will Be Girls."I am confident that this is what the framers had in mind in the dysentery-ridden city of Philadelphia lo those many years ago," cast member Cytherea did not say, not adding, "Would that the esteem'd Virginia delegation were here now to see me fondle these Brazilian man-nubs." Trantastic also stars Roxy Jezel, Cindy Crawford, Dana Vespoli and Deja Daire. Here is part of the press release, which I copied longhand from iots case at the Smithsonian. "This over-the-top sex fest features a stellar cast including cover girl Cindy Crawford who takes the plunge and gets fucked by big dick Cameron Cruz. Vanity pairs up with Roxy Jezel and they both fuck each other in the ass. Then Vanity comes back to fuck young one Deja Daire in the ass and then Deja returns the favor and pumps Vanitys asshole. Cyther! ea and Kayla Coxx hook up for a wild scene filled with ass fucking and squirting. And finally Johanna B and Dana Vespoli pair up for a wild all Latin sex fest with both fucking each other in the ass ending with Joanna squirting a hot load on her belly and Dana licking it all up." "If this is the logical conclusion of 200 years of thoughtfully debated freedoms," said the casketed skeleton of Thomas Jefferson, desperately manipulating the barrel of a dueling pistol into his mouth, "then I regret to say we should have gone with Connecticut's original plan of a Portugal-style theocracy. "How I hated Connecticut," he added. Previously: Taylor Rain goes gentle into that good night See also: Defiance Films ¶ Monday, February 06, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Grandpa Munster and porn
 Al Lewis, best known for his characterization of Grandpa Munster on the 60's show The Munsters, has died. Various sources list his age as anywhere from 83 to 95.In addition to his work as an actor, which he began later in life, Lewis was an activist who worked on the defense team of anarchists and alleged bombers Sacco and Vanzetti in the 1920s (they were executed in Boston in 1927) and the Scottsboro Boys, nine black men accused of raping two white women. The latter case resulted in the death penalty for eight of the men, but all were cleared before a trigger was pulled. In addition, Lewis worked as a circus clown, a teacher, and received his Ed.D. in child psychology from Columbia University. He lost a 1988 gubernatorial bid in New York to George Pataki and was most recently the host of Al Lewis Live, a Pacifica Radio show in New York City. Lewis also hosted AVN's short-lived Halloween party several years ago. He was described as "wry and salty - not like the mainstream people who usually show up at porn events who seem overwhelmed by naked girls." A lot of the older people whose experience touches porn look at it through the additional filter of adult entertainment as it regards politics and the First Amendment. Lewis' radio show primarily discussed political issues. Few of today's newer performers know who Traci Lords was, that Larry Flynt took a bullet, that Phil Harvey is first an educator, that porn was once illegal. It's kind of sad, but also kind of unavoidable. The other night Ron Royster suggested a Vespa-and-beach-fight-based movie called Pornophenia. I felt like a spirit-killer because I said, "no one under 30 will know what you're talking about." But Al Lewis' life touched many, and he was well-regarded in many circles. Here is a great appreciation from Country Joe McDonald. Previously: Anna Malle dead at 38 See also: "Grandpa" Al Lewis Runs for Governor of New York ¶ Sunday, February 05, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Friday, February 03, 2006
Squealer re-delivered
 Hustler is pulling a Cinderella Man with Jack the Zipper's Squealer in order to reintroduce a whole new generation of fans to the Last House on the Left-looking film who might have not been 18 three months ago.The movie was nominated in several AVN award categories and won three of them, including Best Video, Best Oral Sex Scene, and Best Group Sex Scene. With the recent media blitz for Squealer, Hustler is saying "Why don't you just watch the goddamn movie? What is your goddamn problem? Look at the fucking cover! It's gorgeous! It won all these awards! What is wrong with you? Buy it now!" I feel uncomfortable when Hustler comes to my house and tells me this, because Hustler is always naked. Jack the Zipper is no longer with Hustler, in the same way that I am no longer with Mason, but they still have some of his movies. Previously: Joanna Angel signs with Pulse See also: Hustler, Design by Alaska! ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Adonis Pictures: We're men who like men who like other men
 Former GayVN maestro and current Adonis Pictures VP Jeremy Spencer is plenty pleased about his freshman company's recent batch of GayVN nominations, which is an achievement like Ronald Reagan or that woman who played Laura Ingalls winning an acting award after being president of SAG.“For us being the new kids on the block,” Spencer said, “I’m glad we got invited to the party!" I don't know what that means. It must be some kind of gay code Though the men in this picture appear very kind, it looks like the one on the right is trying to rip out the soul of the one on the left. Previously: Lockwood opens the pod bay doors for Devinn, Hung & Hairy See also: Adonis Pictures, Which Soul Calibur character are you? Labels: kurt lockwood ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Blue blue windows behind the stars
 Mary Carey on the Rise is Cash Markman's introduction of the formerly big and sloppy starlet in her new, trimmed-down persona.As a big and sloppy person (I spilled cocaine all over myself at breakfast and still haven't had my topless New Jack City maid hoover it off), I felt an affinity toward the old Carey, but I am willing to suspend my regret long enough for her to spread her wings and alight hither and thither. You can't make me kill her spirit. The movie co-stars Brooke Haven, Sandra Romain, Cindy Crawford, and Katie Morgan. You can see a trailer here. Previously: Mary Carey becomes a wraith, Mary Carey not number one bimbo See also: Legend ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Strippers and Bad Asses
 February 7 will be an Agency Night in Our Valley as Porn Star Karaoke hosts the first anniversary of Bad Ass Models (each model has a bad ass) and Rouge Gentlemens' Club welcomes Monique Alexander, Tory Lane, Lexi Tyler, and agent-to-the-stars Lisa Ann.I asked Lisa Ann, whom I thought was retired from performing, what brought her back, or if she never left. "I will have to give that story in a more detailed interview," she said. This media savvy makes me assume she never left. Bethesda's own Bad Ass Frank started his talent agency last year and has developed a reputation of being a kindly and nurturing advocate of his talent pool despite his other job of directing bondage videos and getting in feuds. Both events begin 'round nine on Tuesday. I would say go to both, but I'm not your goddamn mother. Previously: Bad Ass Frank: Strap-on wrangler, I shall wear the hem of my baby tee rolled See also: L.A. Direct Models, Bad Ass Models ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Study: Runaways consider porn an option
 At least these women look like they had a good meal before they ran away. And wasn't it time for them to leave home, anyway, since they're all over 18? Or maybe they're running away from bad marriages or stifling paralegal jobs. Sometimes people send me things out of the blue. This boxcover image arrived in my mailbox with no explanation from a publicist or breathless description from a sales director. This was refreshing because sometimes (but only sometimes) a publicist can be more of a hindrance to a product than a help. Previously: Desires: this time they're carnal, Squeeze the Brahmin See also: Dane Productions ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Control the Desperate Donkey
 Tera Patrick's new company as well as her old one are featured in this week's reviews, in addition to a company that might make interesting use of the Tera mystique.Previously: Tera begins open relationship, Fellate Expectations, Eye Candy: the 3.6 rule See also: Vivid, Digital Playground, Chatsworth Pictures ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Smokin' Crack 2: the sequel
 While I was sorry to see that Barrett Blade had gone over to the undead side in Dark Angels 2, setting up virginal waitresss Sunny Lane for a world of hurt, I am happy that he is picking up the pieces with Smokin' Crack 2: Cock Is a Girl's Best Friend.When making sequels, the challenge facing many filmmakers is whether or not to use a colon and, if so, what the subheading of the film should be. As Smokin' Crack 2 is an ass-flavored sequel, I think it's appropriate to use the colon. But(t) what comes after the colon is very important and needs to further distinguish the movie. The Electric Boogaloo after Breakin' 2 let consumers know that there was going to be some serious electric boogaloo going on down in the breakin' neighborhood that maybe fans of the first movie didn't expect. My own Gram Ponante's NutFeast 2: Chlamydia Gardens alerted moviegoers that the location of Blicket and Trondra's trysting place in the first film would be the physical or emotional setting of the next. So it's important that in Smokin' Crack 2: Cock Is a Girl's Best Friend, that people like Hannah Harper, Georgia Peach, Naudia Nyce, Brooke Haven, and Davia Ardell develop a relationship with Cock that is distinct from the cockal relationships depicted in other porn movies. Previously: It Needs to Stop, Lot's wife gets an eyeful See also: Sin City ¶ Friday, February 03, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Tina Tyler: Don't hate - fellate (update)
 Tina Tyler has dropped the towel off the seventh installment of the blowjob-ridden IronHead series.IronHead 7 stars Alexis, Gemini, Julia Bond, Sophie Dee, Eva Ramone, Monet Devine, Mysti May, Taya Silvers, and Darien Ross. Male talent includes Mario Rossi, Jean Baptiste, Deshaune Hayes, JR Langdon, and Lexington Steele. That means the fellas receive almost two blowjobs each. What is a friend? A friend is someone who goes downtown, gets two blowjobs, and comes back and gives you one. Tina Tyler does not give blowjobs on film anymore, but her years in front of the camera have given her a certain expertise. "As someone who loves the art of fellatio, I brought a passion for it when I was a performer," she probably didn't say. "Now that I'm a director, I can share that zeal with other girls in the business and capture it on video." When I worked at Raytheon I enrolled in the zeal-sharing plan but I got stiffed after we stopped making Patriot misssiles. Ironhead 7 is on shelves this week. Previously: Tina Tyler refuses to stop being hot II See also: Tina Tyler's fansite ¶ Thursday, February 02, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Big tits: who loves them most?
 Here's a good argument to get into on a plane:"I love Jesus most." "No, I do!" Substitute "tits" for "Jesus" (and who doesn't?) and you've got the premise behind Defiance Films' Big Tit Whores. "Everyone loves big tits, especially big tit girls who love to take it in the ass," maintains a Defiance functionary. If I get this sentence right, ass-taking-it big tit girls are themselves the biggest fans of big tits, which invalidates the idea that porn actresses have low self esteem. Big Tit Whores is Missy Monroe's directorial debut. I am enamored of Missy, but until I see a picture of her licking a video camera like Vanessa Blue, I can't believe that she directed this. Like a porn Velveteen Rabbit, it only becomes real once you lick it. Big Tit Whores stars Monroe, Bailey, Chris Charming, Davia Ardell, Eve Laurence, Havana Ginger, Jack Venice, Jada Fire, Mark Davis, Mark Wood, Sasha, Trent Tosuro, and Van Damage. Previously: Day rate plus anal, Study: Prague feeds hookers well, Taylor Rain goes gentle into that good night See also: Defiance Films ¶ Thursday, February 02, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Kylie will make you love her in February
 It is traditional that movie studios on the other side of the Hollywood sign will release their stinkiest movies in February; that is why the porn world responds with some of its best deals ever.For example, did you know that 85 percent of the films that picked up AVN awards for the past three years have come out in February? (Neither did I - I just made that fact up as a transitional paragraph, sort of like a starter wife, so that I could get to the real meat of this post after all this lead-burying I tend to do): The brassy and destructive Kylie Ireland will be letting new subscribers to her website have the keys to her online store for the month of February, repeating a similar promotion from last year. Ireland, whose site is re-launching on Valentine's Day, slammed her fists on the table when asked if she will unload useless product as part of her promotion. The dog hid under the table, the whip rack rattled. "I've seen offers like this before, and they were always bogus," she said. "It turns out they're trying to give away the crap that doesn't sell, or they've got some cheesy ten-minute promotional disc. I wasn't about to do that to my fans. Pick any movie from my store, and it's yours." Ireland has had a web presence for ten years, which is mind-blowing. Previously: Kylie Ireland: contender, Kylie checks in See also: Kylie Ireland ¶ Wednesday, February 01, 2006 1 Comments Links to this post
Vengeance embarks on ninth return to your ass
 Black in the Ass 9 has hit our shores and hit them hard, restoring America's ability to love.Vengeance XXX is a new imprint from the old country, specializing in Eurobabes like Jennifer Stone, Kathy Anderson, Sarah Twain, Cory Everson, Viv, and Renee Pornero. "I really like the black dick," says covergirl Stone through an interpreter. "I don't care who's giving it to me, as long as they give me the pleasure that I want." Apparently, Europe is a continent of anonymous, pleasure-giving black men. That is why the Pilgrims left. I was moved to record my musings about Black in the Ass 9. You can listen to them here. Previously: Learning about love in Anal School, All holes See also: New Sensations ¶ Wednesday, February 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Luvana becomes virtual reality badass in early 90's film
 ...or at least I hope that's what this means.Carmen is very clearly saying that she has become a modified skin in Quake II. I will assume her identity when taking on Makron (pushes up glasses, yells for more Sunny Delite from worried mother). In other Carmen Luvana news, she has renewed her contract with Adam & Eve and will continue being the face of the company through 2006. Previously: Luvana's character assassination, That which is capturing Carmen Luvana's attention is not what is capturing mine See also: Adam & Eve, id Software ¶ Wednesday, February 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
I shall wear the hem of my baby-tee rolled
 Lacie Heart, Courtney Simpson, Dakota Cameron, and Brooke Haven are pictured here from the other night's Blonde Wingding (I wish it had been called that) at Rouge: A Club for Gentlemen.How can I get myself an LA Direct Models shirt? You notice that three girls have rolled their shirts up but one has kept it down. Which is sexier? I have been practicing rolling my shirt up and down all day, and have noted the effects it has had on local shopkeepers, service providers, and neighbors. The results are astounding. Previously: Study: Blondes popular See also: LA Direct Models, Rouge Gentlemens Club ¶ Wednesday, February 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
Eye candy: the 3.6 rule
 Have you noticed that the porn industry is based on people looking at other people? It's uncanny.For a visual medium, there is a lot of power in first impressions. Boxcovers are very important, for example. If it takes 3.6 seconds for the average porn consumer to decide which DVD to purchase based on the boxcover (Ponante Institute Study, 1999), then the picture and text on that boxcover should really be unambiguous. I think that the Maximum Xposure people tend to be very frank about what's going on in their movies. Here's XRCO trophy girl Holly Wellin crawling at us Ringu-style except she appears very much alive. From the combination of text ("More cum than any one girl could handle!") and art on this boxcover, I assume that the cum distribution process will either be greater than 1:1 or that each girl, Holly included, will be washed away in a sea of it. That is the educated decision I would make in 3.6 seconds. Does your boxcover hold up to that standard? Previously: Real Fucking Tits: Who goes there?, My Little China doll, you shouldn't mess with me, Porn publicist school II: Giving yourself enough rope, Continuing education credits See also: Maximum Xposure ¶ Wednesday, February 01, 2006 0 Comments Links to this post
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