| --Thursday, May 19, 2005--
Pitch Black: The Chronicles of Fair-to-MiddlingDick
 As you are doubtless aware, mine is the only interracial hardcore
blog site on the Internet, with ethnic-on-ethnic sex so fierce that even Mexican President Vicente Fox reads it, crying "Perfidia!" and daubing his forehead with a silk towel, according to custom.
With this United Colors of Jizploitation assault on your senses, it is surprising to me that the so-called white people even copulate anymore.
Cracka.
Anyway, the talented Shane Diesel continues to bring people
together even as he apparently tears their vulvae apart with
Digital Sin's Stretched Out Snatches #2.
The woman in the picture is not Jami Gertz but Savannah Stern.
"Digital Sin has the best chicks, best dicks and the best directors," said the press release, blearily eyeing an empty bottle of MD 20/20 and its father's service revolver in the top drawer. I would assume the other press releases get mad when they hear such claims.
I asked the press release of Digital Playground's Jack's Playground #22 if it shouldn't better go home now that Digital Sin has the market cornered in choice dicks and chicks, and it replied, "AVN, the authoritative voice of the industry, says Jack’s Playground is, “One of the most original series in years thanks to fast-paced editing, solid videography, humor, hotties and great sex – an almost unheard of combination. Robby D. is quickly establishing himself as a director to be reckoned with.” Stretched Out Snatches #2 is in fine stores now. You'd think that the "#2" installment of any series would be the anal one, but what do I know? If I knew anything about porn I wouldn't be writing about it. Shane Diesel is getting a lot of props lately; one rarely sees the male talent anywhere on the boxcover. Can it be long before he, too, shares screen time with Dame Judi Dench?
posted by Ruby
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--Wednesday, May 04, 2005--
Doc Johnson releases Hellraiser line of marital aids
 Indulge the Leviathan in your pants by purchasing Doc Johnson's new Enspiral Vibrating Love Glove, sure to bring a little bit of the underworld to your masturbating experience.
GramPonante.com's roving reporter, Pamtrona Eng, interviewed a group of Cenobites hanging out by Home Depot.
PE: Laslo, you are the eyes-sewn-shut underling of the Lament Configuration and now I am your publicist. Why are Doc Johnson's products so popular wth demons?
Pinhead: I'll take that question, Pamtrona. It is not the Enspiral Vibrating Love Glove that calls us: it is desire.
PE: So Doc Johnson only facillitates your sexual pleasure, rather than substitutes for it?
Pinhead: Yes, Pamtrona. That is the healthiest thing. I merely use these devices when The Female is not present, to stir my horrible wanting of her.
PE: Thank you.
Pinhead: Peace out.
Use Doc Johnson's products or your suffering will be legendary - even in Hell.Labels: cenobites
posted by Gram the Man
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--Tuesday, May 03, 2005--
Porn admits it has failed, goes back to racketeering, check fraud
Axel Braun, who once got his hands insured by Lloyd's of London so he could continue teaching the world how to make women squirt, has released a blasphemous video.
Internal Revenues not only replaces porn's superior sound design with the dance hall stylings of Alex DeLarge, but it also posits the heresy that women enjoy being ejaculated into, rather than having ropey volleys lobbed across their faces, necks, stomachs, breasts, hair, knees, toes, and/or ears.
"It is an abomination," observed noted industry insider Mr. Gape Nanto.
The Internal Pop Shot, or "cream pie" is nothing but an achingly-clever way of saying, "I detest pornography and wholeheartedly agree that women's bodies are fecund temples to the gestation of children."
Like Morrissey, I'm so very sickened.
I would not be the least surprised if Axel Braun's real name is Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kansas) and his father is not veteran porniste Lasse Braun but instead anti-porn crusader Reverend Cramwell Immodium.
I enjoyed working in porn. I really did. Now I have to go back to getting my blowjobs at the tire warehouse like the rest of the schmucks.
posted by Gram the Man
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Porn admits it has failed, goes back to racketeering, check fraud
 Axel Braun, who once got his hands insured by Lloyd's of London so he could continue teaching the world how to make women squirt, has released a blasphemous video.
Internal Revenues not only replaces porn's superior sound design with the dance hall stylings of Alex DeLarge, but it also posits the heresy that women enjoy being ejaculated into, rather than having ropey volleys lobbed across their faces, necks, stomachs, breasts, hair, knees, toes, and/or ears.
"It is an abomination," observed noted industry insider Mr. Gape Nanto.
The Internal Pop Shot, or "cream pie" is nothing but an achingly-clever way of saying, "I detest pornography and wholeheartedly agree that women's bodies are fecund temples to the gestation of children."
Like Morrissey, I'm so very sickened.
I would not be the least surprised if Axel Braun's real name is Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kansas) and his father is not veteran porniste Lasse Braun but instead anti-porn crusader Reverend Cramwell Immodium.
I enjoyed working in porn. I really did. Now I have to go back to getting my blowjobs at the tire warehouse like the rest of the schmucks.Labels: axel braun, directors, dvd
posted by Gram the Man
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--Monday, May 02, 2005--
Dildopolis Is Crying
 Phallix Glass, makers of fine glass dildos and bongs that can be used as dildos, has lost its publicist, Dusty. She was very good at what she did, even if functional erotic art sells itself. The merry three-foot-tall dildo artisans, fed entirely on quartz and magical polycarbonates, will continue, but they will be sad. Expect tear-shaped anal beads in the near future.
posted by Gram the Man
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What Eva
I remember when my cat was in heat, she would make the most horrible yowling sounds and do everything she could to back into my elbow. It disgusted me then, but now I've matured and will not try to suppress anyone's sexuality.
Colossal's Bitches in Heat 2 is a gonzo film, so I don't know how the characters are developed to telegraph that these women are actually "bitches" and how they are "in heat," but I will support them in their self expression.
There is some serious stuff going on in the boxcover.
Eva Angelina is twisting her nipples, as if to say, "Gram, I am complicated; sometimes I feel low, a kind of Leonard Cohen low, but sometimes I am up, like Up with People, except I will fuck you until your glasses fall off, and they won't. Could you ever love me?"
Michelle Lay was instructed to put her finger in her mouth. The less said about her the better.
In the black bustier is Michelle B., who isn't a Spice Girl.
posted by Gram the Man
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AVN Bewitched, Roberts Named CEO
 I don't know what the new title entails, as if the old one meant anything, but here is a prophetic line from the late, great Agnes Moorehead:
ENDORA
Samantha, is it really true that if Durwood could think up more of those so-called..."Phrases" he would be more successful doing whatever it is he does�?
posted by Gram the Man
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While GramPonante.com is written for a tenth-grade reading level (in some countries), you must be 18 years or older to visit this site. Sorry.
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As you are doubtless aware, mine is the only interracial hardcore
