As you know, I am constantly looking for whores.

Because really, if there’s a cumshot in the scene, it’s Lust.

I liked Marceau’s routine of popping on Bobbi Starr’s face whilst climbing a ladder.

Vivid releases gonzo bathing suit line, suggests all porn is a lie; Digital Sin makes my testicles recede; Jamye Waxman confirms I have a great face for radio; Ryan Keely shows admirable restraint by not mentioning Narfs

Yes, though 1990 still had AIDS and condoms, not one of the characters in this book, be they rock star, hermaphrodite, loser, or part-time lesbian bass player, ever Tweets, Googles, or LOLs.

Conservative estimates say that it takes nearly three weeks to get the New York off of you

These fragments would tell us a lot about Japanese culture if we were the type to believe that a culture’s pornography is any indication of that culture’s values.

“…it would sound exactly like the ravings of a failed musician/actor from Maryland who somehow managed to even flunk out of porn a few years ago.”

Since I have never read the Koran, I am uniquely qualified to get into the minds of all pseudo-Islamic terrorists, who haven’t read it either, when I quote Abu Tom Petty: “You believe what you wanna believe.”

“I’ve been this way as long as I can remember,” Mayes says. “I used a Ken doll’s head to rub against my clit to get myself off. Is that sexy?”

Einhorn: As I get older and the models get younger, there is less and less chance for sexual interaction.

GP: Sorry.

Of course, the only direction was, in fact, that Coco Velvett take it all in.

The number 69 should be retired if pornographers are going to continue misusing it. I felt the same way when a certain position was not displayed in “This Ain’t The Mission XXX.”

I remember it like it was yesterday. My dog drowned in the neighbor’s pool and the neighbors gave me 20 bucks, with which I went out and bought Loverboy’s “Get Lucky” and Ozzy’s “Blizzard of Ozz.” Oh shit – it was yesterday! I’ll miss you, Gram the dog from Ponante Terrace. Other than Dylan Ryan and Loverboy both being inexorably linked with Canada, Madison Young’s “Lucky” has nothing to do with my dead dog.